Saying "I Quit" to work

[Nick Hansen]

I have been thinking of ways I can get out of my current job as fast as possible and into the work that I really love doing. Like Steve has said on his “How to Create a Fullfilling Career” podcast, it is as easy as saying “I Quit.”
So it is a matter of finding out a way to do this whilst juggling all commitments and all that jazz.

My situation is that I am 22, currently own a house (well the bank does really) have a car loan, and are getting married in the end of next year. I am in a job I have realised isn’t congruent with me, and thus why I am getting minimal satisfaction out of it.

I have several ideas of how to get out of my situation (well shall I say, move into the situation I want to be in), and would appreciate your feedback:

1. Keep working, and do what I love part time until it can make me enough money, then either:
a. Slowly take more and more time off until I no longer work there.
b. Or save up a heap of money, enough to live on for a while, quit my job and kick start my new career.
2. Eliminate my bills. Rent the house out and live at the parents house until the wedding. This way I can
a. Eliminate the car loan
b. Save up heaps more for the wedding
c. After the wedding, go part time or whatever amount of work will pay the difference with house, and focus intently on what I really love doing. Once I earn enough money what I love doing I can leave my job completely and be free.

So far option 2 seems like the best path to take, as it eliminates debt (maybe not all, but most at least), saves up more for the wedding, and doesn’t put so much pressure on me to bring in the bacon as option 1b would.

The downfalls to option 2 is that I will have to sacrifice my freedom temporarily and put up with the parents. I am still at planning stage of the moment, so I know I am making a lot of assumptions, and will have to clarify if they can actually be supported.

What other options does everyone else suggest considering my situation?

In know it sounds crazy, and I do expect just about every person I meet to say to me I am absolutely insane, but it just seems so much better than reaching for the carrot and hiding from the stick 40 hours a week.

Thanks for your thoughts in advance.

[cdn2wheeler]

A couple of things jump out right away for me.

First of all, does your lady know about this? Sure, working for an employer may not be congruent with you, but if you're getting married soon, it's not just about you anymore, it's about her as well.

Secondly, a wedding is a tremendously expensive enterprise. Anything with "wedding" or "marriage" attached to it increases in price by hundreds of percent. It's the standard marketing ploy of playing on emotions to get you to spend more. How about ditching the fancy-schmancy wedding and going to the local magistrate? Same goes with an engagement ring. Scratch the ring. Put the money towards real estate.

Lastly, regardless of what you do, one of the big first steps to financial freedom is to eliminate bad debt. A car loan is bad debt.

My suggestion:
Keep working, live at your parents place until the 10-minute legal ceremony, get the car debt eliminated, rent out your house so it's paying for itself (also, look into getting a property manager... last thing you need on your honeymoon is a disgruntled tenant with a blocked up toilet) and do what you love part-time until you can pay all your bills and then some with it. This is assuming your betrothed is OK.

If she's not, then you've got some serious thinking to do before you get married. Really.

PS: If you haven't already, get a prenup. Like, today. Before the sun goes down. If she refuses to entertain the idea, you're in trouble.

[Jim11]

If you have some savings or your parents don'tmind paying some money if you fall short then option 2 would be more enjoyable, obviously.
Things can go wrong like your tenant leaves, they don't pay, etc. And you still have bills... like eating, so if your parents don't mind housing you for a bit while you figure it out, I would recommend just doing that while you can if you really hate your job

That being said, I would only recommend this if you actually have some concrete plans or at least steps that you intend on taking to get your new career going. And, also... that the career idea is something you KNOW is you, and not just a whim.

[Nick Hansen]

to answer your question cdn2wheeler, i am talking to her about this tonight. I though i would get everyone elses thoughts first.

on your second point, i do agree the whole just sign an agreement would be cheaper, but i would much prefer to attach the ball and chain in style

Also thanks for the tip about the prenup, i never thought about that.

jim11, it's not that i hate my job and i really want to get out of it, it is more that i have found another field that i am much more passionate about. I am willing to stay in my job as long as it takes to get me into what i really love doing, but why not explore options to get me to where i want to go faster?

thankyou for your feedback, it is really appreciated

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

If you haven't already, get a prenup. Like, today. Before the sun goes down. If she refuses to entertain the idea, you're in trouble.

I'd refuse to do a prenup, even though I make more money than Slamhot. Why marry someone you can't trust absolutely? If someone agrees to give you part of their life, and then one of you wishes not to continue, I would WANT my partner to be able to continue the comfortable lifestyle in we had in wedlock. It's not a business deal. It's building a life.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

Why marry someone you can't trust absolutely? If someone agrees to give you part of their life, and then one of you wishes not to continue,

When things are going well between people there's no need for anything. But once things start not going well, those who didnt take precautions end up regretting it. It's the same way in partnership companies. Before the business partners start the bompany, even though they are very close friends, they (if they're cautious) sign a lot of papers to make sure that if things end up bad between them, the company won't suffer much.

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

I would WANT my partner to be able to continue the comfortable lifestyle in we had in wedlock.

hehe i guess that many couples that get divorced don't give much of a damn for how the lifestyle of their ex partner is going to be, even though when they got married they would die for one another.

[Marvinq]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

I'd refuse to do a prenup, even though I make more money than Slamhot. Why marry someone you can't trust absolutely? If someone agrees to give you part of their life, and then one of you wishes not to continue, I would WANT my partner to be able to continue the comfortable lifestyle in we had in wedlock. It's not a business deal. It's building a life.

Think of it this way, if you had assets to protect and your partner refused to sign a prenup would you be able to trust them afterwards? For me, its better safe than sorry. I agree 110% with Sam988

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by Sam988

When things are going well between people there's no need for anything. But once things start not going well, those who didnt take precautions end up regretting it. It's the same way in partnership companies. Before the business partners start the bompany, even though they are very close friends, they (if they're cautious) sign a lot of papers to make sure that if things end up bad between them, the company won't suffer much.

A prenup, to me, is saying, "Well, I know if you're upset, I can't trust you!"

Never mix business and pleasure, babe. They just aren't the same thing. The companies I do work for hold me accountable in a way someone in a relationship NEVER should. I freely give my lover everything I have. What's mine is his and what's his is mine. He can't steal from me. He knows all he has to do is ask and it is given. Same goes for me with him. I ask and it is given. When I got laid off from my job, guess who showed up with a check for my rent without asking? I didn't need it, but the point is, that's what love is: A shared life. In business, what's mine is mine and yours is yours. We work together for our own private desires. I don't give a rat's ass if my customers feel like we love one another or we're sharing this exciting time together. I like what I do a lot. I do a great job and put my spirit into my work, but my professional and romantic relations have worlds between them. Slamhot has feelings and parts of me that I give exclusively to him. I don't imagine when he wants to cheer up his boss he sucks on her ear.

Originally Posted by Sam988

hehe i guess that many couples that get divorced don't give much of a damn for how the lifestyle of their ex partner is going to be, even though when they got married they would die for one another.

Jaded much? I have exes I still care deeply and passionately for. I don't imagine I'm alone in that.

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by Marvinq

Think of it this way, if you had assets to protect and your partner refused to sign a prenup would you be able to trust them afterwards? For me, its better safe than sorry. I agree 110% with Sam988

Uh, if my honey refused to sign a prenup, he'd be covering his own ass. If he marries me, KNOWING I make more, he's going to get used to a certain lifestyle. Why should the partner with fewer fiscal assets get screwed? Because s/he didn't "earn" it?

If Slamhot came to me tomorrow with a prenup:

1) I'd laugh.

2) I'd refuse to sign it.

BTW, ever notice that people who insist on prenups are people who didn't know what the hell they wanted out of a relationship to start with?

I'm fortunate. I'm with a man I've seen go through a divorce. I've sat down with his ex and we've all gotten a good look at each other. Everyone has been 100% honest with each other, so maybe my perspective is skewed by being really blessed.

[Tayrak]

You're 22, you have a house, a car, are going to get married and have a job. Awesome.
Now go take a good long nap. You're tired and reality is right in your face. you're asking yourself "if this is what I'm going to do the rest of my life I want out, now." That's called a panic attack. Contrary to popular belief a panic attack doesn't always lay you out flat. Sometimes it sneaks up on you.

I suggest, since you ask, that you continue as you are, I like 1a. Part time jobs suck, they take up more time and effort than they give back. Bills do not wait, things come up to trip up the best of plans.

A prenup is your own business, ask yourself this will you give her one too? If she won the lottery would you expect her to share?

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

I'm fortunate. I'm with a man I've seen go through a divorce. I've sat down with his ex and we've all gotten a good look at each other. Everyone has been 100% honest with each other, so maybe my perspective is skewed by being really blessed.

Maybe you are really blessed with that perspective, and that's something to be thankful for. But, alas, not everyone is as clear, direct and honest as your man and his ex.

Marriage is a legal contract. As such, it should be treated as one. That includes making arrangements for the possibility that something might change. After all, a big component of a strong business partnership is a buy-out or dissolution clause. It serves both parties, not just one.

If I get involved with someone who won't sign a prenup, that tells me a lot about her; that she's clearly more interested in what I bring to the table financially than she is about a commitment to me personally.

A prenup is especially necessary when there are kids involved from a previous relationship, to protect them as well. That's not the case with me as I don't have any kids, but if I get involved with someone who has kids I would have no problem whatsoever in signing a prenup to protect them.

Yes, it turns a lot of women off. So be it. No prenup = no marriage. Full stop.

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Maybe you are really blessed with that perspective, and that's something to be thankful for. But, alas, not everyone is as clear, direct and honest as your man and his ex.

Marriage is a legal contract. As such, it should be treated as one. That includes making arrangements for the possibility that something might change. After all, a big component of a strong business partnership is a buy-out or dissolution clause. It serves both parties, not just one.

If I get involved with someone who won't sign a prenup, that tells me a lot about her; that she's clearly more interested in what I bring to the table financially than she is about a commitment to me personally.

A prenup is especially necessary when there are kids involved from a previous relationship, to protect them as well. That's not the case with me as I don't have any kids, but if I get involved with someone who has kids I would have no problem whatsoever in signing a prenup to protect them.

Yes, it turns a lot of women off. So be it. No prenup = no marriage. Full stop.

Hm, see, here's how I figure it: You share your WHOLE life. What's mine is mine and what's his is mine and what's his is his and what's mine is his. All of it. Of course, I don't WANT an electric drumset. I don't want the broken IKEA bedframe. He has no use for my Daewoo or my Chinese painting I cherish so much. If we decide to stop sharing our lives, we divvy up our gains that occurred in the context of the relationship. That just seems right and fair to me.

A romantic partnership is not a business. I wouldn't lick the people who have me under contract for the same reason I wouldn't give Slamhot a prenup: It just sounds remarkably out of place and dirty to me.

I understand you didn't have a totally awesome marriage experience, and mine's pretty raw and inexperienced, but knowing what you know now, can you entertain the idea maybe you know better and can pick a better partner this time who doesn't require a legally binding document just to play nice?

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

It's not a business deal. It's building a life.

But when you enter into marriage, you choose to add a legal contract to your relationship. (how romantic is that?) It's two of you signing a contract with the state. It's a business deal.

And yes, I can also see the marriage license as a formality that we do in our society. Why get married at all? Why get the state involved? (rhetorical, i don't want to tangent the thread any more than it is)

If I were to marry a wealthy girl and she wanted me to sign a prenup... sure. I know I create my own experiences here, not her or her money. If the marriage ends in divorce there's nothing to say I'll be destitute, or that she won't make sure I'm taken care of. That's all future mind bulls**t.

[Ninja]

Most marriages fail, that's a fact. Why not take precautions? Face it: marriage is A LOT like a business deal, whether you like it or not. There are a lot more divorced people kicking themselves for not signing a prenup, than the other way around. If my future husband refuses to sign one, I'd tell him to take his naive behind somewhere else while I look for a guy with at healthy view on reality.

[ixmatus]

I think the entire idea of a prenup can be avoided by just not marrying. I think marriage is an old and decrepit idea.

Relationships occur with people (in my opinion atleast) in a fashion that may resemble multiple streams converging on the mountainside then diverging in a delta on the bottom - the marriage contract smothers that because of the unnecessary baggage that comes with it.

Anyways, I apologize for hijacking the thread and this is my advice for your specific situation:

Keep the full time job and get established, work your debt down (preferably eliminate it) and get secure. If you weren't about to be married I would say screw it all, rent the house out and live in your parents bedroom till you're a millionaire from doing what you love.

But. You are about to be married which comes with some ^baggage^, namely, security.

[Nick Hansen]

Thanks for all the advice, and thanks for the people who just hijacked the thread

I think that is exactly what im going to do ixmatus.

What i find is really hard at the moment is keeping myself motivated at work. It's not that i don't moderately enjoy work, it is just that i can see something which is just soooo much better than it.