Constantly trying to figure it out, confusion!

[Smarky]

Hey guys,

Just thought I would post something that is my stumbling block and perhaps you guys have some experience or ideas that will help.

It seems that I am in a constant loop of "figuring it out" I constantly feel like I need to figure it out, I need to think and organize everything so i can figure out what i need to do, how to do it, the best way to do it etc. I've gone around in this loop for a couple of years and now things are my life are changing and i'm ready to make a new start. But to achieve that I need to break this loop. A constant loop of self development, productivity systems, goal setting, non-goal setting etc.

I'm moving house a little bit later today and I keep thinking I wish I had more time so i could go through all my projects and figure them all out and sort them etc. But I just read through all the stuff I have and i already do have it all sorted. I just somehow always tend to feel confused.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Hey, Smarky. I know what you mean. I too tend to go over and over things in my head. I want to have it just right and think of all the possibilities before diving in. I keep gathering information and trying to discover all the details. This leads to a bit of inaction and that stiffles motivation.

So, how do you fix it? Well, I am still in the process of figuring that out .

But, some things I've done that have helped are:

Just do something. Pick even one small thing where the outcome is not going to make or break you and do it. Then do something else. Eventually you will have a long list of accomplishments to prove to yourself that you don't need a perfect plan to get things done.

Live in the moment. I don't think it's foolish to plan or prepare, but when all of your attention is focused toward the future it becomes very much more difficult to get anything done in the present.

Recognize that you have probably made more progress than you think. When you look back, can't you see that you have come a long way? I think those of us who mull constantly tend to forget the accomplishments we have acheived.

Good luck with everything. I hope I've been a help to you.

Here are some of Steve's articles that have helped me:

Microtasks
How to Make Smart Decisions in Less Than 60 Seconds
Are You Ready to Take Action Now

[Parthon]

Recently I've come to believe that figuring stuff out is what the ego does. Why? I think to reinforce it's point of view, or to prove something to you to make itself stronger, or even to distract you so you get stuck instead of taking action, which could threaten your view of yourself.

The tricky part is that deep down you don't need to know, because you already know. The whole act of figuring out is actually justification and comparison, which never has a truthful answer, just conjecture and opinion. This is just a trap so that you don't take any action and change anything so your ego can continue to exist. (By ego I mean your identity centred view of your beliefs and opinions). If you don't change then everything is good, and the easiest way to do that is to stall you with too much thinking.

The best way out of the trap is action, and there's really three types of action to be taken. First is deciding, which entails creating what is going to happen. After that, planning out how it's going to happen. Lastly, going through with the plan. The important thing is that these three activities must happen in order and have a timelimit on the first two. If you push yourself out of the thinking and into the doing, you won't have time to deliberate. Set aside enough time to make a decent plan, which doesn't have to be exhaustive, then get to work on it. You may need to update the plan as new things come up, but the focus of your efforts should be on doing and action.

This action is what will take you out of thinking about it and into the reality of doing it, and it's the only thing that will get you out of trying to figure it out.

Time management books are really useful for getting into action, even when you aren't motivated. The best one I've read so far is Getting Things Done by David Allen, check it out using Steve's links here - http://www.stevepavlina.com/personal...ment-books.htm

I hope you gained some insight out of this.

[cdn2wheeler]

First, Smarky, rest assured that this ever-present "feedback loop" is extremely common. And it's not all bad, because that's a big component of how we learn.

What tends to happen, though (at least to me, and I see mirror images of my thought processes in your post) is that the list of "things to do" or "things to manage" or "things to be aware of" grows larger and larger by the day. Eventually it looks like some sort of Everest that I'm expected to climb. It's disheartening, at least to me, because it seems so insurmountable.

And it is, if you try to manage to do it all at once.

Parthon mentioned a time management publication. Now, I'm not familiar with that particular book so I can't really speak to it. I have learned, though, that at least in my world there really isn't anything as time management. There is, however, task management. It's related, but it's not identical. Essentially, it breaks down the things you'd like to accomplish into bite-sized, manageable tasks. Some call it "chunking." Call it what you will, it's simply a more effective way of accomplishing big tasks. Tends to work pretty well, at least for me.

[Smarky]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the quick replies. Well i think the constant thought and figuring out has done me good in a way, because a lot of friends consider me very wise, I seem to be a person that can make people going through a hard time see it differently and that's because i've thought about these issues an awful lot.

When I look at my plan and things I have written down compared to that of two or three years ago, it shows a huge maturity and grow from that thinking of before. I look and what I had written down before and shake my head.

But now seems to me the time for action, I look at it and I feel that it's right.

Yet when I wake the next day, I simply will feel confused about it all again and want to go back into the loop. Maybe after some time of reading through it and thinking I will realize it's perfect but then get stuck back int he loop.

I dunno, maybe my mind just doesn't want to let go or my ego is afraid of starting to move forward and actually go out into the world. I don't feel afraid though, i just feel confused and stuck. But really i'm not, i seem to keep telling myself that I am. I dunno how to break it.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Try telling yourself something different. The beliefs you reinforce in your mind direct your life. No matter how you feel try telling yourself that you accomplish your goals, that you have the information you need to move forward and that you can handle any changes that divert you from your original plan. Maybe all this negative self talk is what's making it so hard. Why not give changing your thought process and self talk a try?

[Lola]

Smarky - I can SO relate to a lot of what you describe. I do love to overthink things!

Actually, what you describe is a gift and a curse. It's a skill that served me well in the corporate world but more of a hinderance than a help in my Self.

You've got a sharp intellect that can analyze the big picture, figure out all the details and the steps to be taken. But the execution of the plans either doesn't exist or isn't always as desired. Is that right?

Part of that is a perfectionistic tendency - it's all worked out perfectly in your head or on paper, but obstacles may appear and gum up the works in real life. Better to keep it perfect, right?

Another part, at least for me, is control. Ego loves control, loves predictible, loves to always know what to do and say. LIke Parthon said -

or even to distract you so you get stuck instead of taking action, which could threaten your view of yourself.

Or could threaten how nicely things are "in control" when you take no action.

Good suggestions here by the other posters. Probably one thing that helped me the most as aspiring recommended was Steve's post on making decisions in 60 seconds. That article alone made a massive difference in my rut of overthinking.

[Smarky]

Thank you, I will read those articles soon. Today is hetic!! Moving place and running out of time lol darn! that always happens, I thought it was all handled and not much left to do, now everywhere I look, more to do!!

Anyway, while packing i've been thinking that perhaps the problem is accountability. The thing is some of these things require some changes in me and although they are ultimately where I wanna get too and be it's a hard push for the first few months to break into it and after a few days that perfectionist part of me, stops to try and find a better way to do it.

Thanks guys!!

[cgj1981]

The interesting thing with figuring stuff out is that often that becomes the action you take rather than the solution you eventually come up with.

The first time you rode a bike successfuly someone probably pushed you and you went along...wobbly at first and then fine. (essentially you were figuring things out at a rapid pace while doing .... instead of thinking of everything beforehand)

The human body and mind has an amazing ability to cope and adapt so maybe next time you have something you want to do...just do it....and learn along the way. Sure you will make mistakes but that is the best way to learn anything

Good Luck!!

Chris

[Ilya]

Hi, Smarky!
As people already wrote here, your "loop" is very common. Especially among the smart people.

In fact it is a certain type of motivation. People usually know about positive-negative motivation. Passive-Active aspect of it is much less advertised. It is also an axis between two poles. On the poles are the two extreme cases. One is a foolhardy person, who rushes to do things even before listening what has to be done. On the other pole is a person who thinks everything through before moving his finger. There is no good or bad in this division. Both poles have their advantages and disadvantages in certain situations. Both of these approaches can be effective. And of course most people fall somewhere in the middle of these two poles. The big revelation is that one can practice to adjust his behavior along this axis. Like everything else in our mind this is not set in stone.

I myself is the "analyzing type". I usually think a lot and usually come up with a good solution. But I would never be among the first people who jump on a new opportunity. So I've practiced and learned to switch on the "fast guy" mode to seize opportunities. Now I can have the best of both worlds. I can seize opportunities and then think through how can I make the best out of it.