Life Sucks... need advice

[santafedaisy]

Hi there,
I've just found this website yesterday and have been reading quite a few articles, including "Life Sucks.. then you Die". I understand that I need to make some changes, as I feel stuck, really stuck, but here's my dilemma.

I started my own business this year, and it did really well. But nothing else has changed in my life. My love relationship has ended, and I feel both restless and immobilized. These are my choices, now, as I see it:

1. Stay where I am, in Santa Fe, (9 years now), continue with the business, everything stays the same.

2. Move to a new place, revitalize my life, give up the business (can only do it here), give up the 6 figure income.

Help! I'm looking for the exit signs!

Daisy

[norbert]

May I suggest that instead of being rational, you come from what you truly wish to see in your life. Many times we limit ourselves by trying to consciously discover our possibilities. Everybody has zillions of filters in his/her mind set up unconsciously during the years and you may not see a bunch of opportunities available to you. So, instead of coming from what's available, you might want to consider what you truly would like to happen in your life. After you decide what is it that you want, the how will unfold by itself.

Also, the fact that you see exactly 2 options reminds me of one of Steve's podcast, you may want to give it a try: Solving Frustrating Problems.

Best Wishes,
Norbert

[Tayrak]

let's take a second here. You have a business that is bringing in good money, let's not pretend that isn't important unless you are independently wealthy. Your love life is in the crapper, it's not unusual to feel like the world has just ended. New places always give us the fresh start everything will be new and exciting and therefore terrific, feeling. In reality it doesn't always turn out that way. You would still have to meet someone new, and you would have to start a new business or get a job.
I'm all for new adventures- this time I would be inclined to take some time and give yourself a cooling off period. Get used to the fact that your relationship is over, get comfortable with being alone. You don't want to run away because you're hurt only to find you're running to the same spot, you'll still be alone only the scenery will be different. Real life changes should be made for good reasons, a change can be good but not if you're running away from something or simply hoping the move will bring wonderful things to you. There has to be a concrete reason behind the change, that way the move will be fulfilling even if you don't meet anyone for the next three years and end up waiting tables for a living.
Everything stays the same: Why? Can't you change how you interact with people, places you go, hobbies you start etc. If all you want is a change do things you haven't done yet- there are zillions, go to the library, join clubs, do volunteer work, in short meet people you haven't met yet, get yourself a different life style from the one you have now. After you feel better about the loss of your relationship and you still feel like moving I'd say go for it. Right now I think you need some time.

[rbhambha]

Unless you are living the life of your dreams, the money you have now really means nothing. Make sure you are moving towards your dream at all times. If this means giving up that six figure income, so be it.

I feel that when all aspects of your life are what you expect and want them to be, synergy is created and all aspects improve. Make the change, take a chance, improve your life, create the life of your dreams. Be happy. You only live once. If you aren't moving towards your vision, you're not living.

You may turn that six figure income into a seven figure income in the process.

Hope that helps!

Rahul

[Doku]

You started a business this year, and already have a six figure income... but you can only do that business where you are? How about something _very_ similar somewhere else?

My suggestion would be to follow a combination of the suggestions here: Sit back and bank some cash for a while. During that time, decide what it is that you really want. If it is where you are, then stay. If it is elsewhere, take the cash that you have banked, and go persue whatever it is that you want from life.

[santafedaisy]

Thanks, I listened to the podcast, and it was very helpful.

Originally Posted by norbert

May I suggest that instead of being rational, you come from what you truly wish to see in your life. Many times we limit ourselves by trying to consciously discover our possibilities. Everybody has zillions of filters in his/her mind set up unconsciously during the years and you may not see a bunch of opportunities available to you. So, instead of coming from what's available, you might want to consider what you truly would like to happen in your life. After you decide what is it that you want, the how will unfold by itself.

Also, the fact that you see exactly 2 options reminds me of one of Steve's podcast, you may want to give it a try: Solving Frustrating Problems.

Best Wishes,
Norbert

[santafedaisy]

Thank you for the reply. I feel like I've given it so MUCH time, now maybe it's time to take action.

Originally Posted by Tayrak

let's take a second here. You have a business that is bringing in good money, let's not pretend that isn't important unless you are independently wealthy. Your love life is in the crapper, it's not unusual to feel like the world has just ended. New places always give us the fresh start everything will be new and exciting and therefore terrific, feeling. In reality it doesn't always turn out that way. You would still have to meet someone new, and you would have to start a new business or get a job.
I'm all for new adventures- this time I would be inclined to take some time and give yourself a cooling off period. Get used to the fact that your relationship is over, get comfortable with being alone. You don't want to run away because you're hurt only to find you're running to the same spot, you'll still be alone only the scenery will be different. Real life changes should be made for good reasons, a change can be good but not if you're running away from something or simply hoping the move will bring wonderful things to you. There has to be a concrete reason behind the change, that way the move will be fulfilling even if you don't meet anyone for the next three years and end up waiting tables for a living.
Everything stays the same: Why? Can't you change how you interact with people, places you go, hobbies you start etc. If all you want is a change do things you haven't done yet- there are zillions, go to the library, join clubs, do volunteer work, in short meet people you haven't met yet, get yourself a different life style from the one you have now. After you feel better about the loss of your relationship and you still feel like moving I'd say go for it. Right now I think you need some time.

[santafedaisy]

Hi Rahul,
Thanks for the response..there's part of me that does want to just shake it up, see what happens, as I feel like I've been on hold for 5 years now, starting my own business was just an extension of that feeling. I've never cared that much about money...and always seem to have it...but that elusive feeling of being right where I belong is what I'm after.

Originally Posted by rbhambha

Unless you are living the life of your dreams, the money you have now really means nothing. Make sure you are moving towards your dream at all times. If this means giving up that six figure income, so be it.

I feel that when all aspects of your life are what you expect and want them to be, synergy is created and all aspects improve. Make the change, take a chance, improve your life, create the life of your dreams. Be happy. You only live once. If you aren't moving towards your vision, you're not living.

You may turn that six figure income into a seven figure income in the process.

Hope that helps!

Rahul