Tips for getting through something you hate, for longterm success

[moonstar]

Hello all,
I've talked about this in other places, but to simplify it, i'm currently in a situation where I need to finish my degree in order to start doing the things I really want to do in life. I have found my "life's purpose", I know exactly what I want to do, BUT I need to finish my degree before doing so.

The degree I have to complete is one i'm not passionate about at all. Its out of various circumstances in the past that I must finish it, and changing it or taking something else is not a possibility, so please don't suggest this

Now the reasons why I have to finish my degree are slightly complicated but to sum it up:
-I owe it to myself. I can't afford to be a "college dropout" after all the years that I've spent doing well in school (Its only the last few years that have been hard)
-In order to do pursue what I love, I need to have a degree (any degree) and I don't have enough time to pursue a new degree (4 years).

So the problem is I need to motivated enough to just grin and bear it and do what I have to for about a year, my problem is that despite knowing this is for my own good, knowing that it will only lead to success...I CAN'T DO it. or my mindset is such that I don't want to do it.

A similar comparison would be to someone who knows that if they lost weight they'll look fabulous and feel a million times better, but they just can't commit to an exercise regime.

So please...give me some ideas about how I can deal with it. I used to ask other people how they were able to study subjects they don't like, and they basically couldn't give me an answer. Its different having one or two subjects you hate among others that you like (because there's sort of a compensation)..in my case I hate almost everything, EVEN though I'm capable of doing well in them.

[cdn2wheeler]

There's no easy way, at least not that I've found, I'm afraid.

I liken it to driving through fog. It may not be pleasant, but if you stay focused and keep moving forward, you'll eventually arrive. But I agree, sometimes keeping motivated when everything around you doesn't seem to be going your way can be a wee bit difficult on the blood pressure.

[moonstar]

hehe I was hoping for a miracle answer!

But you know its odd, by typing out this post, i've been thinking about it just for the last hour and its weird how writing out your thoughts can help you to find a possible answer, and right now this is my possible answer:

"The minium effort policy"
- Do the things you have to do putting in the the absolute minimum effort you have to. Meaning:
cram for tests, really just cram - since you have no interest in having any "future" with the subject you are learning just memorize the facts you need at the last possible minute (so you'll feel the time pressure and force yourself - oddly enough despite my lack of motivation i'm still able to "feel" the pressure of a deadline)
- (When it comes to term papers) Just write it, do the minimum research you have to do to write "a" paper. not even a "decent" paper, just something you can submit. Because i'm somewhat of a perfectionist me being able to even put in minium effort will ultimately lead to me editing and making corrections. and also because my skills are good to start with its likely my worst effort still won't lead to a failing grade.

so hopefully as a result of this, i'll either get decent enough grades with minimum effort, or being a perfectionist i'll feel like kicking myself for knowing I could have done better..therefore trying harder the next time (I suppose this could be called a "creating motivation" experiment)

And as a little background, its not like i've had no motivation, I was able to get an A in the last class I took the first A i've got in 3 years..but somehow that isn't motivating me.

So anyway, i'm planning on trying this out. In a way this is what i've been doing over the last few years..except without having a concrete of goal of wanting to "pass" a course. I realize there is a certain element of danger to this..in that it could fail BUT anything is better than me doing absolutely NOTHING.

So guys, I guess you can comment on my idea....

[Brutha]

You don't solve a problem like your by talking in generals, because your generalizations are part of your problem.
To give effective help in a forum enviroment we have to know something about you.
We can't give you a magic formula, but from time to time we can give someone different perspectives on their problems, that make it easier for you to handle your problem.

-In order to do pursue what I love, I need to have a degree (any degree)

What do you love?
What are you studying at the moment?

[Pegasus]

Find someone who absolutely loves the subject and find out why. You don’t have to BE this person, but you might become a bit more inspired by him. Then find someone who has it much, much worse than you do but has persevered anyway. She will give you even more inspiration.


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[moonstar]

Originally Posted by Brutha

What do you love?
What are you studying at the moment?

Brutha: by being general I was hoping to get a more general answer but if you want specifics...what I love is graphic design and what i'm studying is computer technology. I don't mind it so much except that I absolutely hate the theory part of it and HATE sitting in the lectures which I find extremely boring, I do like programming for the most part. I'm good with using computers, so its not that I hate it and I also know that it would be good for me to have this degree as well as doing design because its what a lot of people are looking for these days.

The point is that in highschool I was able to study subjects I hated, so I do know how to do it (my old method was basically just focussing on the big picture, and aiming for a really good grade - but this doesn't work anymore) I suspect that maybe the reason it doesn't work is because my "big picture" isn't very clear...maybe I don't really believe that getting this degree is going to help me because I feel in the meantime i'm wasting time I could be using towards becoming a better designer.

Originally Posted by Pegasus

Find someone who absolutely loves the subject and find out why. You don’t have to BE this person, but you might become a bit more inspired by him. Then find someone who has it much, much worse than you do but has persevered anyway. She will give you even more inspiration.
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Pegasus: I have done that, I've asked different people who love the subject why they love it, and no one has ever given me a proper answer, but I think the answer is that they enjoy it, are challenged by it..and would probably do it for free i.e. they're passionate about it (just like I am about design). I haven't been able to talk to someone who has it worse than me, its se ems most people are better off than me although this forum could be a place for that. Ever since I started messing up school I don't really like talking to people about it because it really brings me down, I don't like dwelling on the negative too much and another problem is that because i've been known as the "smart one" all my life its hard to portray myself as anything other than that, I'm basically waiting to get through this so that I can resume the title

[Clarity]

Sometimes we don't know why we end up in mundane situations, but years down the road there is some skill or knowledge we gained while there that we need in order to do what it is we love to do.

You may also want to consider yourself in the "School of Self-Discipline and Character Building". The approach you take to your tasks will matter in your bigger life purpose. Do today what you have been called to do right where you are. It is part of your purpose. As you deal with your angst, look at what kinds of personality traits and character you are honing. Are you becoming decisive, discerning, exemplary in your delivery of whatever it is in a timely manner, are you polite in the face of anger? Perhaps you are in the right course afterall.

[coberst]

I think that empathy is the answer. Empathy is a means for understanding another person by creating an analogy that allows you to step into the shoes of another person. To empathizes with another person or object is to make that person or object meaningful to you. This is the way we enjoy art by gaining a position of empathy with the object or person.

[CaptainStubbs]

I'm a programmer, and I know a lot of people who went into the field even though they didn't like it.

If you already hate it, I would suggest if at all possible switching, if it will save you any time towards a new degreee whatsoever.

I know a guy who got his degree in comp sci, wasted a few years, then became a chef. But he stumbled around for years with computer programming before finally realizing it wasn't his thing. Time is irreplaceable.

If you must finish the degree, then let me give you encouragement by saying that programming really CAN be fun. You just have to find it. Just like artwork, your programs are your creations and require much creativity. The best programmers are also very creative people.

[Peek]

1year is a big long step,
Break it in small steps, focus on beginning/starting.
Pick up a small step, something really small.
Ending can only come if you start.

Motivation, tjeh, you have enough reasons, so that is not it.

Maybe there is nothing better to do than to start, it saves you at least from feeling guilty for NOT starting. Which is also a pay-off.
So what minor bit can you take right now?
(a good question, duhh?)

Actually to start up a task wich is not in your favorites is like excercising a muscle. It is very hard but after a while you will find that it is easy to start.
Please be aware, that you focus is on starting, not on completing the task, that is for later on. Don't lift to much!

Then one day you will be here on the forum telling us you are somebody who starts, but never finishes anything. Well, then you one step further and we speak again.

Peek