Trying to change schools and I can't

[thehexman]

I am currently going to engineering school at a prestigious university. I am not happy here, but I can't really consider switching majors for several reasons. But first I need to talk about how I came here and why.

When I finished high school I had about six months of free time and so I asked my neighbor if he had any cool internship and/or job recommendations for me. Turns out that he recommended me for an internship in Argentina and it was great. I really love the place, and not only tourist wise, but because I had to live there on my own and get to know the place, as i spent several months there. I also met a girl there, and I really fell in love the way true suckers fall for it. Well, after the internship, I had to break up and go home and also it was time to get serious about university. I guess at that point i really slipped into a clinical depression (lovesickness) and it took me over year to get out of that. Life had just really lost meaning and for a while I seriously considered killing myself, but somehow the sun always went up again and I got out of bed. I did not seek professional help, but managed on my own by sports and friends and such. Now I do not have these thoughts and phases of depression any more, and personally consider myself healed.

As I said, it was time to decide about university, and so I chose engineering school (mechanical btw). I chose that because I always enjoyed natural sciences, I have an analytical and visually oriented mind, I enjoy working on tech etc. These aren’t the only things I do, I also like economics and social sciences and the like. All in all, I believe my interests are in fact very evenly distributed, but my capabilities are not ( I suck at interpretations, or so said my teachers). Also I can’t do everything all the time, so I have to choose.

BUT there is a huge problem: Everything now at that school reminds me of my bad time. Plus the actual selection process of this school is done during the first 2 years and it is a killer. The workload isn’t that bad, but I do not enjoy it. The smell of the place takes me right back to that, the people there as well. Also I am becoming to realize that this may not be the right major for me, because I believe that you have to be real passionate about machines and such if you want to enjoy it and be good. If I see a machine now, I see a hulk of steel and that’s it. I sit in lectures and think to myself, "Oh yeah, that's really important. To geeks."

Also, and this may sound like its not a big deal, but it is, there are a lot of nerds here and few girls (remember: eng school) Social life in this place is practically zero, as 15 000 "guys" and 2000 girls do not make for a good party. It really sucks so much that the non-nerds rent buses, like real travel buses, to go to other schools and party.

So what I did was send an application to go study physics at another school, and I got in after 2 interviews and a test (which was kind of easy because I already took the same math course and so on). I am seriously considering going there, and not just "running away" because of something I don’t like. I am considering going into biophysics/medical physics further on in my career. So i have a plan of what I want there.

So what's the problem you ask? The guy finds that life sucks, he wants to get out, has an opportunity and doesn't take it? Yes.

I have this thing about not being able to commit to something if it will take away other options. I have never really been able to do that, not even during high school where it was a big deal to choose classes. I hate the thought of limiting my options, and switching does just that, because I really want to go abroad again in a few years. This is really a part of me, as I have travelled the world (quite literally) and seen lots of stuff that most people never even dream about seeing. My parents do this too and I guess I inherited that. Point is, if I want to go away again I guess I had better stick to engineering school. I have more opportunities I believe, although no one can really say that (predict the future). Also I can get an MBA later on.

So what is happening here? I do not really know. I have been carrying this around for more than a year now and have come to unload it here. I think that maybe I only act if I becomes too painful not to. I think maybe I’m afraid of something, and I can’t really figure out what. All the people I have talked to about this tell me two things: I can’t help you, and I don’t really understand your problem.

The last date for immatriculation is tomorrow at 10 - 12, so I hope people will read this and give me some advice. I apologize for the long read. Thanks in advance.

[Zukin]

Hi thehexman,

There's a couple options I can think of that may help you. I can't make the decision for you, but these may give you some guidance.
1. If you continue studying at your current school, you can use neuro-lingustic programming to reframe it to be a positive experience.
2. You can go to the other school. There's always the possibility that you may regret either decision, but reading about counterfactual thinking may help:
Counterfactual Thinking
SSRN-The Differential Effect of Realistic and Unrealistic Counterfactual Thinking on Regret by Nick Sevdalis, Flora Kokkinaki

The best way to overcome regret is to think about something worse that could have happened. For example, if you go study physics and end up regretting it, you could think to yourself "well, at least I didn't commit suicide." That's an extreme example, but it gives a good idea of overcoming regret.

Steve's article The Courage to Live Consciously may also be of help:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles...onsciously.htm

[lifequest]

Hey there, I hope I'm not to late!

I know your pain. When I went to university, I first chose electrical engineering. After a semester, I decided there was no way in hell I was going to that for the rest of my life! So instead I went in industrial engineering. I did get through that diploma though, after four years of hard work. And during all that time, I experienced a lot of what you're going through. I hated the place, I didn't have many friends, the colors of the building were starting to get to me... Plus, I always felt out of place, like the things I studied were ok, but not THAT interesting. I think I may have gone through a burn-out or a small depression at some point, but I did the only thing I could do: exercise, go out with friend, and tough it out 'till it was over.

And then I graduated... I thought I would be able to go to work, have a life, travel, have fun... No.

The first job I got was linked to structural engineering. And I realized "this is what I want to do!" The solution: go back to university in civil engineering... As of today, I'm still studying.

You see, my point is (and yes, I do have one!) is that if I hadn't stuck with my first degree in industrial engineering, probably that my first job that wouldn't have led me to the civil engineering field, a field I like.

I can't really tell you what to do, but for my case, I am glad to have stayed and finished my first diploma. It was a couple of years of my life I hated and prefer to forget, but something good came out of it.

And also, you said you wanted to go into the biophysics/medical physics. A mechanical engineering degree is a great way to get there! I know that at my university, the way to go to in biomedical (graduate degree only) was with a mech. eng. degree. They've juste created a biomedical undergraduate degree recently (this year I think).

Anyway, don't worry, take a decision, and just remember that whatever you choose, you will have good opportunies that will araise from that decision.

Lifequest