Coasting...

[Phil Parkinson]

To develop yourself as a person, and maximise the positive improvements in your life you must start to apply yourself in whatever you are doing. This could be at the gym, in PU, at work, with your family. Don’t just coast through life; put effort in to maximise the results you achieve.

An ex-student of mine, and a great bloke, Spencer Horsey told me in a workshop

“Train for the impossible and the difficult will become easy.”

While not exactly the same, I believe there are a lot of common principles with this quote and what I am trying to say.

Stop coasting and start pushing yourself.

If you use the gym, don’t just have a 45 minute workout so you can say to yourself “I have done it.” Go to the gym and spend 45 minutes doing heavy weights with exceptional form. Don’t leave the gym with a light sweat, leave dripping in sweat knowing that you gave everything you had to the workout.

At work, don’t just do enough to get by and collect your monthly pay cheque. Make sure that you give your absolute best while you are there. Aim to be the best in your team and the best in your department. (If you job is boring you to the point where you cannot increase your motivation, are you doing the right job?)

When you are boxing; you are 2 minutes into the round and you are exhausted. Your entire body wants to stop and rest. DON’T DO IT. You only cheat yourself. Push yourself to the limit and you tell me how you feel when that final bell sounds.

You don’t get a second chance at life, so make your experience the best it can be.

My Mindset: “I want to be the best”

“Train for the impossible and the difficult will become easy”. [Credit, Spencer H.]

If you aim to reach a certain level, you may hit that level or you may come up short. If you aim for the very top, you probably will come up short, but you will get a lot farther than if you stayed within safe bounds.

I aim to be the very best at whatever I do. It doesn’t matter how big or small the task or activity is I want to do it to the very best of my ability.

• When learning how to box, I want to be the fittest, fastest, hardest puncher… I put my everything I have into my boxing training to make sure I improve faster than everyone else; and I do.

• At work, I don’t want to hit my target, I want to be the best salesman on the floor. I aim to smash my targets to pieces. I set my own targets far above what the business deems to be sufficient and then I work like hell to hit them.

• If I go paint-balling, I want to shoot the most people and come out with the highest score.

• I want my social circle to be filled with charismatic, deep, good people who enrich and add to my life experience. I will cut out anyone who has a negative influence on me. When it comes to women, I will not settle for second best. I want the most intelligent, vibrant, beautiful girls to be a part of my life.

You only get one crack at this life; one chance to make a life you can be proud of. I want to look back at my life and think to myself: “I gave it absolutely everything I had to make it the best it can possibly be.”

[cdn2wheeler]

I'm sorry, Phil, but I don't buy this.

Setting high goals is one thing and there's a certain type of personality that finds that enthralling. Those who thrive on competition might find it a good way to keep enthused.

But competition, in the final analysis, is actually destructive if it's seen as an end unto itself. Competition is simply one of many drivers behind creativity.

Just like the pursuit of money for the sake of money leaves one hollow and unfulfilled, eternal competition with no thought to the understanding that it's simply part of a process can be dangerous and destructive.

You want to be the best boxer? Fine, by all means, go ahead and train. But wouldn't a more positive frame of reference be "I want to be the best boxer I can be, regardless of anyone else"?

[Jim11]

I somewhat agree with the previous poster, but think you had some good things to say, Phil.

"aim to be the best in your department, etc" is a mindset I refuse to take.
Aim to do my best while making others better at the same time is more my philosophy. The end result is often the same though, but I'm not caught up in the drive to BEAT EVERYONE in the process.

A matter of personal choice I suppose. I would rather be the sage, at peace with my life, living in the moment, not obsessing over goals and results, etc.

I think your advice about not being indifferent and coasting makes a lot of sense though. No matter what path you choose I think it's important to, as steve would say, live consciously.

[Boreas]

I like the quote you shared Phil:

“Train for the impossible and the difficult will become easy”. [Credit, Spencer H.]

I came up with a similar thought the other day that is sort of the opposite of the common mindset of

"Life is too hard"

To me, it is better to think:

"Life is too easy, and the harder I try to make it, the easier it becomes"

[Tristan]

Hi Phil,

I agree with your ideas and through my research, the "maximum effort, maximum results mindset" is a hallmark trait of all the highest achievers in sports and business. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, I remember Brian Tracy supporting this exact method of "Do it faster, Do it harder" in his book Time Power.

I've found with many of my clients in my Life Coaching practice that they arn't where they want to be in life simply because they've been lolly-gagging around for the better part of it. I believe that in order to produce some real results in your life you can't simply sit back in your couch and manifest something via the law of attraction....you have to use that in addition to getting off your butt and pour some real blood, sweat and tears into it.....good old fashioned elbow grease aka taking massive action to draw it into your life.

Rapid results like the one you speak of is a very simple three-step formula:

1) Know what you want
2) Know the price you have to pay to get what you want
3) Pay that price

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by Tristan

Hi Phil,

I agree with your ideas and through my research, the "maximum effort, maximum results mindset" is a hallmark trait of all the highest achievers in sports and business.

I don't think that any thoughtful person on this board or beyond it figures that no effort is involved in going after your dreams, whatever form those dreams may take.

But the problem I have with the process as outlined here is that it's based on comparing one's worth and effort to external circumstances. "I have to be better than so-and-so" or "I have to have more sales this month than anyone else" or "I have to run faster/jump higher/be smarter than everyone around me."

Since there's always going to be someone who jump higher, runs faster or is smarter than me, then there's no way that I can possibly attain my goal.

However, if the goal is focused on being the best I can be regardless of whether that's better than anyone else or not, that's something else entirely. That, to me personally, is far more motivating and positive, rather than negatively competitive.

[Tristan]

Competition can be taken to the extreme to where it is unhealthy....where you would do anything it takes to destroy your opponents and to win and to be #1 no matter what the personal cost is. Sure that is not conducive to personal growth, just as any obsession is to that degree. If you're gunning to be the BEST out there in the world, then be prepared to pay some heavy consequences in your pursuit to get there. There is a reason why some of the top people out there (celebs, $$'aires, athletes, etc.) achieve their top rankings, at a huge cost to their own personal lives.

However, I also believe that the "I don't have to compete at all by telling myself to just be my best" is what people who never won anything tell themselves as a form of self-validation to justify their low-level of achievement (wooooshhh....I'm ducking for cover for the gunfire that statement is sure to make ). Why is that? It's because any form of goal-setting has to be measureable and specific (S.M.A.R.T Goal-setting). If you don't have known external benchmarks to lock onto, then you're level of achievement won't be as high as someone who does have a quantifyable measure to rely upon. Competition provides a way of doing just that. You test your abilities against others who are doing the same and in doing so, you improve faster than ever before because weaknesses become visibly apparent where self-denial might have prevented you from seeing them before. Strengths are highlighted. Techniques are honed. In that very sense, true competition is all about personal development.

A example used previously is boxing. Now, a person can shadowbox and use speedbags by themselves all day long and benefit from the exercise, but in order to become the best boxer that one can be on a personal level, inherently it requires that the person actually box other proficient boxers...which means competition. The key, as was mentioned before, is having the RIGHT MINDSET that is conducive towards personal growth rather than obsessive pursuit of one's own ego.

For example, I train in Jeet Kun Do and I fight in mixed martial art competitions, which compared to other sports is really a brutal, aggressive, and totally competitive environment. But my purpose in fighting is not winning or losing....it's about personal development because my main focus is not destroying the opponent at all costs, in fact, it couldn't be farther from that. Competition to me is about testing my abilities in a real world envrionment against other really good "experts" in the same field and if I win, great....gratifying validation that my training has paid off. If I lose, then it gives me some very valuable feedback about what improvements I need to make in my training to become better.

Self mastery is the primary focus of personal development and competition is a method for a person to achieve that level of mastery faster. It's simply a tool that's neither good nor bad and it's up to the operator of that tool to use in a way that is positive rather than negative.

[cdn2wheeler]

Actually, Tristan, I think that you and I are closer on this than one may first think.

I wholeheartedly agree that goals have to be quantitative: that is, to run a 100 yards in X seconds. That does not mean, however, that I have to beat anyone else other than the person I was a day, week, month or year ago.

Some people use competition as a means to an end in improving their abilities. Your boxing example is an excellent illustration of that. All I'm saying is that competition as an end to itself is ultimately self-defeating. But when competition is used as one of the primary drivers to improve one's self - such as your work in Jeet Kun Do, in which you describe your goal as not to beat anyone else, but for personal development - then it's all good.

It's about self-mastery, not mastery over others.

[NotesMaeve]

If you only shoot for the "best" or "perfect," you're going to lose a lot, Phil.

My workplace, for example. Not perfect. We keep beer in the fridge. We yell at each other. We tell awful jokes that are unsuitable in your typical work environment.

But you know what? I love my coworkers for who they are. Flawed as they are, they are good enough as is and we're a great team.

My friends have weaknesses, but again, they are good, trustworthy, loving people. They might do stuff I consider dumb or strange, but you know what? They are perfect as they are.

My fiance is perfect... FOR ME. Um, no, he isn't the BEST musician/cyclist/runner/Latin speaker in the world, but what the hell would I do with that? Put his abilities on a shelf and look at them?

My brothers are the best brothers for me. My mother is the best mother for ME. They're not "Full House" weirdos, but they are real, loving, genuine people.

So riddle me this: Does trying to be "the best" make you happy?

[Senin]

I think we should set our goals high and most importantly raise our standards. "Give more than anyone could possibly expect." But then, appreciate life. Not get so hung up in the winning and losing.

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by Tristan

Hi Phil,

I agree with your ideas and through my research, the "maximum effort, maximum results mindset" is a hallmark trait of all the highest achievers in sports and business. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, I remember Brian Tracy supporting this exact method of "Do it faster, Do it harder" in his book Time Power.

I've found with many of my clients in my Life Coaching practice that they arn't where they want to be in life simply because they've been lolly-gagging around for the better part of it. I believe that in order to produce some real results in your life you can't simply sit back in your couch and manifest something via the law of attraction....you have to use that in addition to getting off your butt and pour some real blood, sweat and tears into it.....good old fashioned elbow grease aka taking massive action to draw it into your life.

Rapid results like the one you speak of is a very simple three-step formula:

1) Know what you want
2) Know the price you have to pay to get what you want
3) Pay that price

I 100% agree with this post... For me personal development is 10% about knowledge and 90% hard work... roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

P x

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

I don't think that any thoughtful person on this board or beyond it figures that no effort is involved in going after your dreams, whatever form those dreams may take.

But the problem I have with the process as outlined here is that it's based on comparing one's worth and effort to external circumstances. "I have to be better than so-and-so" or "I have to have more sales this month than anyone else" or "I have to run faster/jump higher/be smarter than everyone around me."

Since there's always going to be someone who jump higher, runs faster or is smarter than me, then there's no way that I can possibly attain my goal.

However, if the goal is focused on being the best I can be regardless of whether that's better than anyone else or not, that's something else entirely. That, to me personally, is far more motivating and positive, rather than negatively competitive.

I read my article again and it is written the way it is because competition is a something that really motivates me... seeing others around me doing something better than me pushes me on as much as anything - this is just who I am... I am sure there are people who can relate to this and others who can't. I am not ruthless in my competitive nature... I try to help as many people in my life as I can... But I am very competitive... and it is this competitive streak that has enabled me to achieve considerable success in my 27 years.

I think the underlying point of my article is not actually competition... It is actually about people's propensity to "coast" through life... to accept mediocrity / second best.

I believe in striving for excellence in everything that you set your mind to... I never go into anything wanting to be average... I give my everything to each and every challenge I set myself... I would go so far as to say that mediocrity doesn't actually sit well with me... this mindset has produced results for me time and time again.

Phil x

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

If you only shoot for the "best" or "perfect," you're going to lose a lot, Phil.

This is not actually true... I think you missed the point of what I was trying to say... when you aim high, you may fail to reach what you aimed for, but in aiming high, you will have come a lot farther than if you had stayed with your comfort zone - now... is that a failure? I would argue no... In fact, I would argue that that is a big success. And that is exactly the reason why you should always strive to achieve excellent results in whatever you want to do. When you strive for excellence, you grow/learn/develop fast.

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

My workplace, for example. Not perfect. We keep beer in the fridge. We yell at each other. We tell awful jokes that are unsuitable in your typical work environment.

But you know what? I love my coworkers for who they are. Flawed as they are, they are good enough as is and we're a great team.

My friends have weaknesses, but again, they are good, trustworthy, loving people. They might do stuff I consider dumb or strange, but you know what? They are perfect as they are.

I would ask you this... In your workplace, how many are happy? Genuinely content with what they have? If it is anything like some of the workplaces that I have been, few of them will be happy and most of them will be discontent... "I want to lose some weight"... "I had an idea once"... "I really want to learn to do this".

In my old office, I had a guy who was a very promising football player when he was younger... he would love to tell me about the trials he had for the premier league clubs. Another guy was about 20 stone... He used to never eat in the office... he used to eat breakfast at home, lunch at cafe and used to pick at chocolate all day from the drawer in his desk and think that no one could see him. A woman had always wanted to be a maths lecturer - she was particularly talented with numbers - she was the office book-keeper. None of these people were really happy... They were all good people, but none were really content... I would argue that they were all coasting through life...

The footballer was 20 and couldn't be bothered to train at the weekends.
The candy muncher was extremely lazy and shunned any form of exercise.
The book-keeper just did not have the get up and go to take her exams and start applying to Universities.

The coasting problem was stifling them all. The coasting problem was stifling many many others in that office too.

I don't want to sound arrogant, but I went into that office on something called the table of death - 10 people get the job and sit at a table - 3 months later only one job was given. I got the job.

Then when i started to work, i worked really really hard... I put in long long hours and worked harder and faster than anyone else in the company and then the group. I soon became the top biller in the business... I won awards... I made more money than anyone... i gained the respect of almost everyone in the office very very fast.... I got described as the "best door opener" that a company director had ever seen (door opener means someone who opens accounts )

While people were getting fired every month, my job was never on the line...

I did this by going into work and absolutely refusing to coast... refusing to do the bare minimum to get by.... I went into work with the goal of being the best.... and that is what I became.

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

So riddle me this: Does trying to be "the best" make you happy?

I get a great deal of happiness from setting myself a challenge and then achieving it... I get a buzz out of success... who doesn't. It is a part of who I am and yes, it does make me happy. My success can be attributed to the fact that I strive to excel in whatever I do.

Phil x