what would u do if u were me...

[rondon]

Hi guys,

I just went through a very messy breakup. All these broken pieces...and i wanted to pick them up.

I read somewhere where SP suggested that you post your situation on the forums. Well, here I am.

If you were me, what would you do? What would you do to "live life fully" given my situation?

Here's my current reality:
- I'm an infojunkie. Instead of actually solving problems, I get lots and lots of information about it...
- ...related to, my procastination. I postpone the problem (by gathering lots and lots of info) and wait till it all blows up, the pressure so great that I act
- I have hepatitis B
- just went through a breakup, because I think I was becoming too addicted to the girl and I couldn't say that I loved her
- still living with my parents (and not a lot of help there either)
- jobless (for around a month now)
- no college degree
- around $2000 US dollars in the bank (my savings after my previous job)
- out of shape
- thinks negatively of himself (duh)
- has the habit of sleeping a lot and drinking coffee. and reading blogs and chatting on IM when awake
- am 30 yrs old
- VERY uncertain about himself
- don't know what my purpose in life is, and have tried lots of exercises already but to no avail
- have _some_ computer skill (basic programming and scripting)

Any info you provide will be appreciated.

Rondon

[finandom]

I think the first thing I will do is set a goal for my life. From the list, I can feel that you don't have any goal yet. But don't worry, everyone is having the same problem with you and so am I. So go and set a goal and your life will change accordingly. At least find a purpose for your life.

Good Luck!

[rondon]

Hi,

I'm still at a loss this moment. Wandering, as it is... As an infojunkie, I already had bad experiences with goal-setting. But, I'll be giving it a try again, maybe the added life experience will put it in a different context.

[LoveFreedom]

Hi Rondon, I understand you pain of being an infojunkie. I am too, and find practicing too bothersome at times. Put it to some use maybe - I got myself a PhD out of mine, just give it some directions.

As for finding the purpose of your life...I think this is easier said than done, but certainly worth working on. Where do you live? Maybe you can attend on of these seminars to get in touch with your broader goal. Doing it with a group and with someone guidance helped me a lot!

http://champions.universalevents.com...cli=CLA1023184

otherwise just start small. you sound like you don't have a lot of energy so what about a goal of working on increasing your energy first. for example, check out 'raw food' or 'living food ' websites and start with minimal exercise, whatever it is you love doing, say, twice a week. Try 30 days challenge maybe...

Good luck and keep us posted!

[aabukar]

Hello my friend,

If i were in your place, I would talk with someone very close to me ..someone who i trust and then ask them to evaluate me objectively ...
I would want to know what are my good traits and what are my bad traits .. write them down and start working on them one at a time ...

hope it works,

[norbert]

Here is what I do and I'd do the very same if I were you:

1. keep in mind that this might be the last day/month/year of your life
2. remember that the only thing you can do at any given moment is to direct your energy and attention
3. forget your story based on the past
4. decide what kind of life you wanted to live if you had absolutely no limitations
5. find out what it takes to have such a life (forget "how?" at this step)
6. resolve to pay the price for it (what kind of person do you need to be to enjoy that kind of life?)

You are very unique just like everybody else. Please do share yourself. This world is crappy enough. Change this world to be more of you.

Stop thinking about what you don't want! Decide what you do want and keep that in mind all the time.

[Christian223]

You should start doing EFT on a daily basis to get yourself free of negative thoughts and replace them with mositive ones, i know it works because i tried it on myself, try it, the link is at my signature, good luck.

[WrongTurn]

Originally Posted by rondon

Hi guys,

I just went through a very messy breakup. All these broken pieces...and i wanted to pick them up.

I read somewhere where SP suggested that you post your situation on the forums. Well, here I am.

If you were me, what would you do? What would you do to "live life fully" given my situation?

Here's my current reality:
- I'm an infojunkie. Instead of actually solving problems, I get lots and lots of information about it...
- ...related to, my procastination. I postpone the problem (by gathering lots and lots of info) and wait till it all blows up, the pressure so great that I act
- I have hepatitis B
- just went through a breakup, because I think I was becoming too addicted to the girl and I couldn't say that I loved her
- still living with my parents (and not a lot of help there either)
- jobless (for around a month now)
- no college degree
- around $2000 US dollars in the bank (my savings after my previous job)
- out of shape
- thinks negatively of himself (duh)
- has the habit of sleeping a lot and drinking coffee. and reading blogs and chatting on IM when awake
- am 30 yrs old
- VERY uncertain about himself
- don't know what my purpose in life is, and have tried lots of exercises already but to no avail
- have _some_ computer skill (basic programming and scripting)

Any info you provide will be appreciated.

Rondon

Hey Rondon,

That sounds very familliar to me.
-I'm 27 but I've moved back in with my parents after losing my job a while back.
-No money what so ever.
-No degree as I dropped out after a year.
-The infojunkie bit.. I had never thought of it like that. I love to solve people's problems on car forums and I'm good at it but I don't like working on the cars as much as I like knowing about them and solving the problem on paper. I do work on cars but my lack of motivation means I take a lot longer to finish the task than I should.
-I tend to ignore problems till they either go away or blow up. atm I'm just about to get blown up by leaving one problem waaay too long.
-I lack social skills, but only because I don't like seeing new people. or more to the point I don't like new people seeing me. I hate the way I look.

I'm afraid I can't offer any solutions to your problems but I can atleast tell you your not the only one in a similar situation.

[silicon toad2000]

The first thing I would do I be looking for a job.
In between job interviews and things like that I would be helping at a volunteer organisation.
Helping would make me feel more worthwhile about myself and help me learn the skills that I will need in the workforce.
I would also be spending a lot of time thinking about what businesses need now and in the future and think long and hard if that kind of field will suit me.
Once I have decided that, and discovered what I like doing I would be pursuing further study in that field and looking for jobs or volunteer work in that field.
Here in Oz, the government will pay for training if you are a volunteer and the training will make you more valuable as a volunteer. Dunno of they do that there.

That's what I would do in your situation, the girl thing and the parent thing will sort itself out once you sort yourself out.
Hope it helps at least a little.

[cordis]

You have recognized that where you are is not where you would like to be, and expressed the desire to change your condition.

This simple act of recognition has already brought you to a place where your difficulty is practically solved, and you are to be commended for your courage and resolve in asking for information. Few people recognize that no-one is able to assist them in any difficulty until they ask for assistance.

That said your question was; "What would you do?"
And the answer is; "What may work for me, almost certainly would not work for you, because the answer to your question is within you."

We are all as individual as our fingerprints, and there is no cookie cutter solution to any given set of circumstances. Most difficulties whether personal, business or corporate are easily solved when viewed from a different perspective; sometimes called thinking outside the box.

Therefore to assist you in your present situation, may I suggest you spend some time to listen to one or more of Paxton Robey's talks (free mp3's). He will certainly give you a different perspective on things and that is a guarantee. Here's the link to his site. go there.

You can also get to Paxton's site "No Time For Karma" from my signature link. Also you might also find something else useful on my site as there is a considerable amount of information there that is relative to the information you have asked for, and practically everything there is free to download.

Here are a couple of inspiring PowerPoint shows I've put together; A Perspective Story; 4 Elements

Warmest regards

[Alex2007]

Originally Posted by silicon toad2000

......the girl thing and the parent thing will sort itself out once you sort yourself out.
.....

Yeah. I think "silicon toad" got a point there.

Try to ignore parents as much as you can. If there is something that they can offer (like money) then welcome. But don't pay attention to them. They tend to make things worse sometimes. And you CAN NOT change that. Just forgive them, thank them and befriend them, for doing their "best" for you. Don't expect them to understand you. You can not change that. Just stay away from their negative influences, mentally and even physically.

Alex

[Amandaaa]

if i were in your exact situation, i would start by fixing this:

- out of shape
- thinks negatively of himself (duh)
- has the habit of sleeping a lot and drinking coffee. and reading blogs and chatting on IM when awake

(...i seem to think that every problem in my life can be solved by starting at the most basic level.)
so, i would probably fix my diet, start eating clean and healthy... start sleeping on a specific schedule, going to the gym, incorporating a lot of physical activity, getting outside, being active, etc, etc..
..because in doing so, i would start feeling better, which would increase my motivation to get a job, and start living.. and blahblahblah.


all of the other stuff is really irrelevant...
once you start feeling "centered" and more in tune with yourself, the rest will fall into place.



(at least, in my life, this has always been true.
..feeling good and being able to think clearly have always been prerequisites to any sort of progress.)

[Boreas]

Originally Posted by rondon

Here's my current reality:
- I'm an infojunkie. Instead of actually solving problems, I get lots and lots of information about it...
- ...related to, my procastination. I postpone the problem (by gathering lots and lots of info) and wait till it all blows up, the pressure so great that I act
- I have hepatitis B
- just went through a breakup, because I think I was becoming too addicted to the girl and I couldn't say that I loved her
- still living with my parents (and not a lot of help there either)
- jobless (for around a month now)
- no college degree
- around $2000 US dollars in the bank (my savings after my previous job)
- out of shape
- thinks negatively of himself (duh)
- has the habit of sleeping a lot and drinking coffee. and reading blogs and chatting on IM when awake
- am 30 yrs old
- VERY uncertain about himself
- don't know what my purpose in life is, and have tried lots of exercises already but to no avail
- have _some_ computer skill (basic programming and scripting)

Here's my current reality:
- I will get all the information I need then take action on a problem, I am never afraid to make a mistake, trying is the main thing.
- Do it now!
- I have hepatitis B, and I can deal with it.
- just went through a breakup, I am a better person for what I learned and I am happy with who I am
- out in my own apartment in the city I always wanted to live in
- I have a job and my own business, new offers role in all the time
- I have learned all that I need to be a success
- around $2,000,000 US dollars in the bank from my own business
- fit and healthy as ever
- completely comfortable and confident with myself
- Up early every morning with a packed day
- am 30 yrs old, and can deal with it
- I know exactly what I am doing
- I know exactly what my purpose in life is



Print this list up and place it on your wall. If you don't like it, take your list and write the positive of each thing you listed, or what you want to see take its place. Put it in a place where you read it at least every day. More often if possible.

[jwz]

Hey Rondon.
Sorry to hear about your messy breakup.

I think 99% of all break-ups goes this way (if handled somewhat correctly):

For a while you will be suffering, and it won't seem like you'll ever get better.
BUT you must know that things will get better sooner than imagined. It pretty much always does.

When you're having a hearthache, it might help to get yourself an icecream. (but beware, too much icecream will make you gain a few lbs.)

You should also spend time "spoiling" yourself. Finding out and doing what you want. Spend some time giving yourself extra care. Take a warm bath. Go for a run. Think about what you want from life. And what you have to give to others.

All in all, you should spend time doing things you like. Do things for YOU. This will help time go by until you get better.

I've got more to write, but I'm not sure if I'm going in the right direction with this.

Hope it helps a bit. Good luck

Jan

[Trustme]

If you want to change, make a list of things you want to change. Actually you already have the blueprint posted above. Next tackle on problem at a time. It's very difficult to turn around your life from one day to the other. But one small step every day will bring you far ahead in a month, quarter, year from now.

I would start with the physical/health side. That's somehow the foundation in my life as well. If my nutrition/fitness/health isn't working, I feel lousy and nothing else works out either.