Motivation help

[gus]

Hey everyone,

I've been having trouble doing anything lately (past few months). I don't really want to do anything besides sleep and sit on AIM/IRC all day. I can't even get myself to play video games or focus on movies.

Now, there are plenty of things I'd like to start doing (wake up at 5am daily, play guitar more, exercise a decent amount a week, get a job, start a website, etc) but I just can't get myself to take action on any of those for more than 2-3 days at a time. After the 2-3 days I'll stop the activity for about two weeks.

I think one of the reasons this is happening is because I have no need to do any of them. I'm living with my parents, and they provide food, electricity, and internet. I also have a good amount of money to hold me for a while, so no need for a job.

Also, I'm not used to being social. The past few years I've either at home, school, or hanging out with the same small group of friends I've known for years. Now that I'm out of school I'm mostly at home in my room. I live 45 minutes from civilization so it's a pain to see anyone.

Any suggestions are welcome. Maybe I could even start up one of those self-improvement threads? I've exhausted all of my ideas for now.

Thanks,
Gus

[Swede]

If I was in your shoes I would have tried to break the pattern.

Try to do something unexpected. Surprise yourself.

[z1freeride]

http://www.HowToBeMotivated.com

[shivraj]

Following things worked for me... you can try some of them....

1) Write your dream list.. Write whatever you want in your life
2) Create your vision of life.Visialize it in mind's eye and then write them down on paper
Whenever you see or read your vision you should get excited
3)Make goals for 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 1 month and then for 1 day
4) Use affirmations like.. day by day in every way I am getting better and better
5)Deliberately have positive thoughts.. -ve thinking doesnt need efforts but intentional positive thoughts requires efforts.
6)If you believe on God then pray regularly and ask for what you want in life and ready to give price for that.. God want something to give so he can work on them.
7)Burn back bridge ... Read article on willpower,Self discipline by steve pavlina
8)Self hypnosis before you go to sleep.. I use Paul Scheelee and Paul McKenna self hypnosis audios
9)Start with small steps.. Taking action even it is smaller one is important
10)Always stay with positive people

[quoteguy]

Hey Gus,

I started a blog site on something that interested me. I saw the movie "The Secret" and became interested in the various quotes and sayings featured throughout the film. I find one quote a day and talk about at my site. It keeps me busy. Plus to keep up with my project I have to research related subjects, which has given me ideas for other projects. I'm working on a few right now that can prove to be very beneficial financially while still helping others.

Try starting a blog about something you like. You'll connect with like-minded people because the people visiting your site will have similar interest. This is a great way to meet new people. You'll also notice that as you work on this one project new ideas will begin to pop into your brain.

So pick a subject, get excited and start blogging.

[z1freeride]

Originally Posted by z1freeride

http://www.HowToBeMotivated.com

Let me elaborate on that site. Learning about how to be motivated in various things is good but knowledge is useless if it isn't applied. A lot of times I'll have moments of inspiration - where I'll be motivated to accomplish goals and I'll do well for a week or two but then my motivation fades (new year's resolutions).

In order to cause permanent change (permanent motivation) in yourself, you must literally replace your old ways of thinking with new successful, motivational thoughts. This is a daily practice. I have audio CDs that I listen to on a nightly basis that help in this. I also have certain affirmations written down in various places (mirror, wallet, computer monitor). Those affirmations may not be indicative of my current thought patterns, but they are what I want to become. You must be constantly striving to replace your old failing thoughts with new successful thoughts because as a man thinketh, so is he.

[AtriumGuy]

Gus-- Try looking at your situation from a different perspective. You have money, no worries for food or shelter, and you are surrounded by people that love you. You should wake up every morning and thank the heavens and earth that you are you!
Next, with this new perspective, start purposefully habituating the feeling that you can do ANYTHING you want. Anything (as it sounds like you can). This is such a wonderful place to be in, I can't even tell you. Try gaining perspective on the situation, and look at yourself as if a 90 year old man was sitting right next to you....ask yourself, what would he do?
The old adage "youth is wasted on the young" is SO true, we are all a victim. So get up and start doing things you love...because you can! I hope this helps!

[Joel Chue]

You should really really get out of your comfort zone.
Move out... Don't live with your parents.

That might be a good first step to take. What are your
goals? What are your 'MUSTs'?

Go for them.

[z1freeride]

Originally Posted by AtriumGuy

Gus-- Try looking at your situation from a different perspective. You have money, no worries for food or shelter, and you are surrounded by people that love you. You should wake up every morning and thank the heavens and earth that you are you!
Next, with this new perspective, start purposefully habituating the feeling that you can do ANYTHING you want. Anything (as it sounds like you can). This is such a wonderful place to be in, I can't even tell you. Try gaining perspective on the situation, and look at yourself as if a 90 year old man was sitting right next to you....ask yourself, what would he do?
The old adage "youth is wasted on the young" is SO true, we are all a victim. So get up and start doing things you love...because you can! I hope this helps!

In my experience, I have had those times like Gus.... I've had times in my life where I felt like crap and I was lazy all day. One day, I would decide to change everything and I would read self-help books and set goals...

But my inspirational motivation faded. I was back to my old self within a few days or weeks.

I later learned (and thus put into practice) that one must rehabilitate their thought patterns in order to change their emotions and actions. It's a daily thing of replacing old negative thought patterns with new successful thought patterns. I used Audio CDs, post it notes, small cards in my wallet, a journal, etc. to write/read/listen to "releasing" affirmations and "installing" affirmations.

[FreelanceWanderer]

Gus, do you think you might be depressed? I was depressed for the first and only time in my life a couple of winters ago, and it was just as you described: I had no energy or motivation to do anything. The depression lifted when the weather started to get warm, but the next winter I avoided depression by starting an exercise program, taking fish oil, doing yoga, and improving my diet. I know you don't feel like exercising, but if you can just force yourself to get outside and walk each day, it can help lift your mood (and, by extension, your motivation).

FW

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by FreelanceWanderer

Gus, do you think you might be depressed? I was depressed for the first and only time in my life a couple of winters ago, and it was just as you described: I had no energy or motivation to do anything. The depression lifted when the weather started to get warm, but the next winter I avoided depression by starting an exercise program, taking fish oil, doing yoga, and improving my diet. I know you don't feel like exercising, but if you can just force yourself to get outside and walk each day, it can help lift your mood (and, by extension, your motivation).

FW

i really relate to what you are saying here.... A lot of people say that depression has nothing to do with external factors, but i know from my own personal experience that often it does. It's good to have as many positive things in your life... for me this is the key to keeping depression at bay.

Please not that I am not dismissing the idea that depression is just in some people regardless of how much postivie they have in their lives... i am simply talking about my own personal experience.

This is why personal development is so important in my life.... i need to feel like I am moving forward every day.

P x

[Christian223]

Try EFT, it has been doing wonders with my motivation, the link is at my signature, also, read "The palace of posibilities" on the resources section of that site, good luck!.

[Boreas]

Self-discipline is the thing you need when you are not motivated. It is usually the key to getting motivated again.

[MariaG]

I agree that it's possible you may be depressed. I went through a really loong winter in college where I took a lot of naps, never really went out, and had a hard time keeping up with my schoolwork.

I find for me the essential elements to control my depression are:
1) lots of light, including a light therapy lamp during the winter
2) a moderate social schedule. I try to never go a day without talking to another human being.
3) a good diet and plenty of exercise - especially weight lifting
4) steady exposure to personal development materials

You may also need an antidepressant to get you over the initial hump. I took some medication for a while and it helped greatly.

Good luck and ask lots of questions when you need help! The worst thing you can do is suffer in silence.

[gus]

Hey all,

Thanks for the replies. I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I'm not really unhappy, although I'm not happy a lot of the time either. It's more like some middle, peaceful state.

I think the best thing to do would be to move out, but I'm not sure on how to go about that. That's a big step for me. I've never even had a job before.

[Boreas]

I strongly recommend you get a job. Don't worry about not having had one. You will go in and learn things.

If it doesn't work out, there are other jobs.
If you don't like it, there are other jobs.

Chances are though, you are going to love it. It is a great opportunity to grow, and it will increase your self discipline.

Good luck!

[gus]

Hey everyone,

Thanks for all of the replies. I went today and picked up a few job applications. I'll be returning them tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get one.

[km123]

Hi yeh i'm in a similar position to OP but i'm finding that i have done things to keep me motivated but it just doesnt seem enough. I go to the gym, i do martial arts, and i have a healthy social life drinking with friends on weekends, however i feel like im searching for an elite way to accomplish something.
What i mean by this is i want to find what i really want to do in life, i find that academically i have the ability to get HD's ( i have gotten HD's before)but im just really lazy and i find the material boring. (i do business at uni) I basically feel like a zombie, heading off to another rat race, but really, i want to be great at something i truly like.
I'm generally a positive person on a day to day basis, but it feels like this is something really nagging at me and is actually affecting my social interaction including a loss of drive to find even a girlfriend.
I've read up somewhere that a condition known as cognitive dissonance exists, where you see goals in the future, but chemically, your brain gets frustrated because it cannot see this goal in the present reality.

[gus]

Hm...
I'm still waking up at 3pm. It seems like I just don't want to get out of bed.

[Christian223]

Hey Gus, waking up so late might be a cause of bad sleep, maybe you have sleep problems?, do you get enough sleep and rest?, maybe you dont eat too well?, what about the temperature of the room?, is it too low or too high?, try excersizing too to boost your energy.

Another thing that has helped me besides doing EFT to get rid of limiting beliefs and boosting my motivation is to practice getting up of the bed, get in bed as if you where going to sleep and practice getting up inmediatelly after the alarm goes off, try to get close to falling asleep, relax really well and then do as if you where getting up early in the morning, this way you are training your body and mind to act without thinking so that self talk doesnt keep you in bed, i think this is explained in steve pavlinas blog, try it, and dont forget to do eft, it will make everything easier, good luck.

[gus]

Well, it's always at least 80 degrees in my room for some reason. Right now it's 86. I've noticed that it's hard for me to concentrate because of that, and also the birds in the living room always making noise. There are also 5 African Grey parrots in the room next to mine, which are known to give off a dust that scars lungs over a long period of time. So I think I might have bad air in my room also.