Enough is Enough!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

It's gotten to that point where I can't take it anymore. I've posted in the monthly challenge threads and then promptly forgotten all the goals I listed. I am not trying to pretend I am special in any way, only that if I at least have a thread with my name on it I might be more accountable.

Yesterday, I went to the river (a beautiful state park with falls and crisp water) with my boyfriend and his brother. It was gorgeous. We spent the whole day swimming against currents and hiking in rocky terrain. Quite invigorating. However, I was dismayed by my lack of ability to keep up with the guys. I understand I've aged since my tomboy days of yore, but the weak girl at the river is not who I want to be. I am not fat, but my tummy protrudes more than I would like and all parts are less taut than they could be. I am so sore today as well as a little peeved at how out of shape I have become.

I feel that if I don't take 'massive action' (RIP Shamou ) I will be doomed to swell to an unrecognizible size in the years to come. Metabolism has finally slowed to the point where I cannot eat whatever I want anymore without hearing about it from my stomach and my ass (although the ass part I don't mind so much ). Nor can I afford to eat in the manner of my boyfriend who does hard physical labor all day and outweighs me by 60 pounds...I sit in an office all day for goodness sake!

In light of all of this self-loathing and these realizations, I've decided to put myself in the conspicuous position of posting my own challenge thread. Without further ado or bs, here are the goals:

1. Make better food choices, eat smaller portions.
2. Drink water. For a treat, drink 100% juice. Occasionally, go wild and drink some caffiene free tea.
3. Physical exercise at least 3 times per week for 30 minutes each time (start with walking, add some yoga and running, do ab work and light lifting for definition).
4. Not related to physical, but: Spend 30 minutes each day when I get home tidying up/cleaning to avoid one big session on a day off that cuts into my relaxation and fun.

I would appreciate any advice, comments or encouragement.

Also, if anyone has any ideas/experience with eating well and exercising when the person you live and share meals with isn't interested, please share! He wants to lose some weight, but that will happen in no time with his job even if he doesn't eat any differently which will further reinforce for him that the way he eats is fine.

[Angela]

Hey, Aspiring! That sounds like a wonderful outing, and I hope that your dissatisfaction with your body didn't take away from the beauty and fun of the experience.

It's great that you're setting targets for yourself and making healthy choices for yourself. I wish you great success!

I would just like to make one suggestion for you: do you think it might make a difference to the quality of your eating, workouts, and life in general if rather than thinking thoughts that are self-critical and self-loathing, you let go of those and deliberately think thoughts that pay tribute to how glorious your body is? If you talk to your body with thoughts of gratitude, love, and generosity, don't you think it will respond differently than it would if you're sending it message of criticism and loathing?

Your body is a magical machine and makes it possible for you to experience incredible feats of pleasure, accomplishment, and fulfillment. It loyally and unstoppably carries you through life despite your mistreatment and disrespect. It's time to give credit where credit is due, don't you think?

p.s., since I've ramped up my weight-training and other workouts, Danger Man has become inspired to increase his own muscle mass and flexibility. He is very visual and responds to the sight of my little muscles showing up (not to mention some of the more exotic sexual feats of strength!) Plus men are often a little competitive, so maybe your guy be inspired to keep up with your new efforts.

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

It's gotten to that point where I can't take it anymore. I've posted in the monthly challenge threads and then promptly forgotten all the goals I listed. I am not trying to pretend I am special in any way, only that if I at least have a thread with my name on it I might be more accountable.

Yesterday, I went to the river (a beautiful state park with falls and crisp water) with my boyfriend and his brother. It was gorgeous. We spent the whole day swimming against currents and hiking in rocky terrain. Quite invigorating. However, I was dismayed by my lack of ability to keep up with the guys. I understand I've aged since my tomboy days of yore, but the weak girl at the river is not who I want to be. I am not fat, but my tummy protrudes more than I would like and all parts are less taut than they could be. I am so sore today as well as a little peeved at how out of shape I have become.

I feel that if I don't take 'massive action' (RIP Shamou ) I will be doomed to swell to an unrecognizible size in the years to come. Metabolism has finally slowed to the point where I cannot eat whatever I want anymore without hearing about it from my stomach and my ass (although the ass part I don't mind so much ). Nor can I afford to eat in the manner of my boyfriend who does hard physical labor all day and outweighs me by 60 pounds...I sit in an office all day for goodness sake!

In light of all of this self-loathing and these realizations, I've decided to put myself in the conspicuous position of posting my own challenge thread. Without further ado or bs, here are the goals:

1. Make better food choices, eat smaller portions.
2. Drink water. For a treat, drink 100% juice. Occasionally, go wild and drink some caffiene free tea.
3. Physical exercise at least 3 times per week for 30 minutes each time (start with walking, add some yoga and running, do ab work and light lifting for definition).
4. Not related to physical, but: Spend 30 minutes each day when I get home tidying up/cleaning to avoid one big session on a day off that cuts into my relaxation and fun.

I would appreciate any advice, comments or encouragement.

Also, if anyone has any ideas/experience with eating well and exercising when the person you live and share meals with isn't interested, please share! He wants to lose some weight, but that will happen in no time with his job even if he doesn't eat any differently which will further reinforce for him that the way he eats is fine.

Great to hear you have decided to do something about your figure... I eat well and work out and the positive comments i get about my body really help with confidence and self esteem. I think looking after your body and then taking pride in your achievements is a very worthwhile goal indeed.

Firstly, i would advise you to leave your BF out of this... don't try to pressure him into doing anything he doens't want to do. If you do, he will likely push back. The best way to get him into it is to start to achieve results yourself... let him see how much pleasure it brings you.

The exercise sounds like a good start...

With regards to the diet, I think it's good to keep things simple as you are much more likely to keep it up if it's simple.
First thing you need to do is fix your diet. You can fine tune a diet own to the tiniest detail, but this is hard to implement and you will be less likely to follow it. The idea of this is to give you a simple diet to follow in the hope that this will be much easier to stick to.

The diet:

Breakfast – Oats and semi-skimmed milk (use yogurt as sugar) OR wholemeal toast.

Morning Snack – Fruit or nuts or yogurt.

Lunch – Sensible sandwich (meat and salad is good) – avoid common fatty fillings such as cheese, bacon, mayonnaise etc.


Afternoon Snack - Fruit or nuts or yogurt.

Evening meal – Meat or Fish and plenty of salad OR vegetables (avoid simple carbs like white rice, bread, pasta or potatoes).

Try to eat 5-6 times a day as this will help keep your metabolism fast throughout the day.
Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables (surround yourself with as much fruit as you can)
Avoid the temptation to eat late at night… have your last meal no later than 3 hours before you go to bed). If you get hungry in the evenings before bed, drink a protein shake. Have some discipline!!!
Once a week, have a blow-out where you eat what you want – this is important to keep you on track for the rest of the week.

Get disciplined with your food. Do you want to lose weight or not? Every time you cheat on your diet, you are making it harder for yourself to get into shape.

Hope this helps.

Phil x

[Phil Parkinson]

there is one more thing that i would suggest, but i will do it over PM...

Phil x

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

It's gotten to that point where I can't take it anymore. I've posted in the monthly challenge threads and then promptly forgotten all the goals I listed. I am not trying to pretend I am special in any way, only that if I at least have a thread with my name on it I might be more accountable.

(((Clarity))) It's okay to say you need something more personal. Nothing wrong with that.

Yesterday, I went to the river (a beautiful state park with falls and crisp water) with my boyfriend and his brother. It was gorgeous. We spent the whole day swimming against currents and hiking in rocky terrain. Quite invigorating. However, I was dismayed by my lack of ability to keep up with the guys. I understand I've aged since my tomboy days of yore, but the weak girl at the river is not who I want to be. I am not fat, but my tummy protrudes more than I would like and all parts are less taut than they could be. I am so sore today as well as a little peeved at how out of shape I have become.

I get this completely. I've been where you're talking about. I've lost a little over ten lbs. since deciding to make major lifestyle changes. It can be done.

I feel that if I don't take 'massive action' (RIP Shamou ) I will be doomed to swell to an unrecognizible size in the years to come.[...]Nor can I afford to eat in the manner of my boyfriend who does hard physical labor all day and outweighs me by 60 pounds...I sit in an office all day for goodness sake!

Yep, yep, and yep. With the ex we were eating takeout like Mexican, extra cheese pizza, and Carl's Jr. several times a week. Combined with the fact I wasn't exercising enough: Bad.

Now let's pick apart your goals for a minute:

Make better food choices, eat smaller portions.

What constitutes a "better food choice?" Eating 98% lean beef instead of 85%? Going vegetarian? Cutting out eating candy twice a day? This is where a lot of people get bogged down.

Also, smaller portions are kind of tricky. You WILL feel hungry, and it's best if you feel less intensely hungry. I recommend replacing foods with healthier alternatives and cutting back only slightly on sheer amount. Here's an example of changes I've made:

White bagels to whole wheat english muffins.

Corn dogs, hot wings, and other snack type foods to their meat analogs.

Unhealthy sandwiches like the Chicken Bacon Ranch or the Beef Brisket on white to the Veggie Delite or the Italian Caprese on wheat with no cheese and no pesto, if you're hardcore. You're saving 300-600 calories there.

If you LOVE Starbucks, avoiding Starbucks won't work. I LOVE Venti White Mochas made with nonfat milk, no whipped cream. Sounds kinda healthy, right? No. They also pack 430 calories. PASS. Better alternative: The Tall Pumpkin Spice Latte with soy milk and no whipped cream. 230 calories.

Loading up on veggies is great too. When I make an omelet, I don't use cheese or the yolks, but I throw in tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, and whatever else I have. With ketchup on top, it's about 150 to 200 calories with three whites.

Drink water. For a treat, drink 100% juice. Occasionally, go wild and drink some caffiene free tea.

Eat fruit. Juice is empty calories without the benefit of fiber. Tea is great for you. Don't be scared of it.

Physical exercise at least 3 times per week for 30 minutes each time (start with walking, add some yoga and running, do ab work and light lifting for definition).

I like this goal a lot. Nothing burns calories like running.

Not related to physical, but: Spend 30 minutes each day when I get home tidying up/cleaning to avoid one big session on a day off that cuts into my relaxation and fun.

30 minutes is really hardcore. I'm hardpressed to do 10, but I know you can do it. I think you'll find that with 30 minutes a day, you'll get it done faster than that.

Also, if anyone has any ideas/experience with eating well and exercising when the person you live and share meals with isn't interested, please share! He wants to lose some weight, but that will happen in no time with his job even if he doesn't eat any differently which will further reinforce for him that the way he eats is fine.

Uhhhh, I dumped the ex partially because he wouldn't get off his fat ass and exercise and ate like crap. Not the answer you were looking for?

No, you don't need to do what I did. Slamhot and I have different eating habits. He's omnivorious. I am not. We also don't live together. The rules on eating are as follows: My house, my rules. Your house, your rules. No one is morally obligated to eat what the other is eating. I'm no longer trying to lose weight, but he is. The mindset of a good partner is to support the other. Ergo, when he picks up pizza, I am fine with whole wheat crust because he's avoiding white flour, and he's fine with me getting my half without cheese. Little compromises make your life easier. If I'm making dinner and he says he'd rather not have caloriforic bruschetta and he feels like a salad with chicken breast, I'll make it for him.

[AddictiveX]

Have you tried a totally new diet plan as opposed to just eating smaller portions. i.e eating more frequently but smaller portions and more body friendly foods, like eating 5 times a day or so? x

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

In reply to all the comments (wow, you guys jumped right in, thanks!).

@Angela - I know I need to talk my body up more rather than put it down. I just got to a point where I was letting myself get by with thinking everything's okay when it's not, hence the disgust - meant to motivate me. I will look at making positve assertions and admiring of my body a part of the routine. Although I was disappointed by my performance at the river, I was actually surprised I could do a lot of what I did.

@Phil - Don't worry, I am not about to try and pressure the boy into joining me, I just meant that it's hard because he doesn't really have to watch what he eats the way I do because his job is so physical. I appreciate your diet suggestions. Pretty much on par with what I was thinking.

@NotesMaeve - I think I'll keep him...luckily, he will be encouraging for me and probably even cook me separate meals if I want. It's not that he tries to disuade me from eating well, just that I join in eating all the stuff he does, which I can't get away with the way he can. I think eating smaller portions will be tough at first, but it's that I am eating like him now and he can eat more than me...he has to just to maintain. So it's a matter of me being disciplined and not overeating.

The good thing is that I already know how to eat well. The bad thing is, I can't toss out all the temptation because the other person in my house will still be eating the 'bad' stuff. Breakfast and lunch are on my own, so I will start with those and snacks as well as eating a *little* less at dinner.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

AddictiveX - That's part of the plan too, not just eating less. The eating less part comes from the fact that I am keeping up with a 220 lb. guy when it comes to portion size...no good!

Making healthier choices and eating frequent small meals usually works for me in no time.

[NotesMaeve]

If worst comes to worst, come stay with me for a week and eat what I eat. We'll go bowling.

Without being too personal, what's an average day of eating like for you now?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Two breakfast tacos with a soda in the morning.

Lunch is either a sandwich, dinner leftovers (if there are any) or take out.

Dinner is whatever the boy cooks (so meat and taters usually, likely fried or sauced in some way).

I don't snack much at work. I'll occasionally grab candy from the receptionist's bowl, but I don't overdo that.

The big points are: less to no meat, smaller portions, prepare my own breakfast and lunch rather than eat out, snack on veggies, fruit, nuts.

[NotesMaeve]

Oooh. Hey, I love Mexican food too! Something I really like that Slamhot makes me for dinner, and I am making for myself tonight, is a toasted whole wheat english muffin with avocado, tomato, and pepper slices. Maybe something like that would make an awesome breakfast for you?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

That sounds delicious! I need to get back to my veg recipies.

Mexican food is my weakness. And it's everywhere! Cheap! YUMMY!

[Ree]

Clarity, I'm a little late posting a response but you definitely get my respect for making the tough decisions! I make a low cal veggie soup that I eat all the time when I'm hungry. It fills me up and gets those all important veggie helpings in easily. First, saute 1/2 cup of diced onion, bell pepper and celery (about 15-20 cals) in 2 Tbsps flaxseed oil (100 cals but sooo good for you). Add three cans of organic green beans (1/2 cup = 20 cals), three cans of organic diced tomatoes (1/2 cup = 25 cals), handful of julienne carrots (1/2 cup = 25 cals), bunch of swiss chard chopped up (1/2 cup = 18 cals), add 1 cup of organic fat free low sodium chicken broth or veggie broth. 1 cup of chicken broth = 15 cals. Simmer until the carrots are tender; keep in the fridge for a quick bowful any time you get the munchies.

I make little pizzas like Notesmaeve described, but I make them on portabella mushroom caps. Simmer the mushroom caps in a little water until they start to soften, top with your favorite toppings and stick them under the broiler til bubbly. Yum!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

You ladies are making me hungry! I will definitely try those recipies out Ree. Thanks.

[NotesMaeve]

The mushroom pizza thing sounds DELICIOUS. I have some oyster mushrooms I might have to try that with!

[Phil Parkinson]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Two breakfast tacos with a soda in the morning.

Lunch is either a sandwich, dinner leftovers (if there are any) or take out.

Dinner is whatever the boy cooks (so meat and taters usually, likely fried or sauced in some way).

I don't snack much at work. I'll occasionally grab candy from the receptionist's bowl, but I don't overdo that.

The big points are: less to no meat, smaller portions, prepare my own breakfast and lunch rather than eat out, snack on veggies, fruit, nuts.

yeah, your old diet doesnt' sound too hot... plenty of room for improvement there!!!

[munish]

U May try this.


The Food Timing Diet

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I am easing into everything right now. Yesterday, I had a salad for lunch and some yogurt and pretzels for a snack. My boyfriend and his brother went to do the grocery shopping while I was at work...so dinner was huge steaks and fried mozarella sticks! I asked the boy to make me some spicy green beans. So I ate a tiny piece of steak and a ton of green beans and one mozarella stick. I got full pretty fast, I think because I've been cutting back on portion sizes. This morning I had a taco, but no soda. For my snack I have a banana and orange juice. For lunch I will have a salad again. Almonds for afternoon snack. I also have plenty of water at the ready.

I am really craving a soda right now!

I didn't do any exercise yesterday since I am still so sore from the river. I plan to take a walk when I get home from work. I got all the dishes done and the laundry put away and the bedroom and living room picked up. I also spoke to the boy and asked him to help me out by picking up his clothes, trash etc. and by taking dishes to the kitchen. Normally, he does it but not right away...sometimes the next day. We agreed we'd like the house to look nicer, so I told him that would help me a lot.

[lizthefair]

If you don't want to go straight to water, you might try sugar free kool- aid/crystal light etc. We buy the store brands of those kinds of drinks and like them really well. (of course you are still dealing with the chemicals which will probably kill us in a different way)

I'm not sure I'm the best one for advice, since I'm struggling with the same stuff right now, but if you are into baby steps, you might just start each meal with a large portion of veggies or fruit, and then eat a bit of the "bad stuff" to finish. That way you won't have to cook as much separately, but you will eat way less of the calorie dense food--since you've filled up on the good stuff.

Good Luck!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Thanks, Liz. I actaully detest fake sugar stuff. It would be more of a punishment than drinking water! But I do appreciate the advice.

Your idea about starting with the veggies and fruit is good. I think that's sort of how it worked out last night and I felt better than if I'd just filled up on the main course.

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I am easing into everything right now. Yesterday, I had a salad for lunch and some yogurt and pretzels for a snack. My boyfriend and his brother went to do the grocery shopping while I was at work...so dinner was huge steaks and fried mozarella sticks! I asked the boy to make me some spicy green beans. So I ate a tiny piece of steak and a ton of green beans and one mozarella stick. I got full pretty fast, I think because I've been cutting back on portion sizes. This morning I had a taco, but no soda. For my snack I have a banana and orange juice. For lunch I will have a salad again. Almonds for afternoon snack. I also have plenty of water at the ready.

Oh man, steak and mozzarella sticks sound to die for right now! :-) Good on you for loading up on green beans though. How do you make spicy green beans? I've been looking for a tasty recipe.

Sounds like you're off to a good start.

I am really craving a soda right now!

Are you a diet soda drinker or a regular soda drinker?

I didn't do any exercise yesterday since I am still so sore from the river. I plan to take a walk when I get home from work. I got all the dishes done and the laundry put away and the bedroom and living room picked up. I also spoke to the boy and asked him to help me out by picking up his clothes, trash etc. and by taking dishes to the kitchen. Normally, he does it but not right away...sometimes the next day. We agreed we'd like the house to look nicer, so I told him that would help me a lot.

Yay on the good start! :-) You're an inspiration. I did a little dusting last night and washed some dishes this AM. Oddly, I didn't run yesterday either. Want an accountability buddy? Will think of you on my run this evening!