30 day challenge - Being present/in the moment

[backpocket]

I'm starting a 30 day challenge for myself, just to see how I'd feel if I was present, mentally not only physically, during the whole day, no matter what task I'm doing. This means shutting up the mental chatter as much as possible, and actually putting my attention into everything, from the larger things like studying for my school, practicing my musical instruments etc but also mundane things like waiting for the bus, listening to a lecture (heheh) and only thinking when I choose to, not when it wants to.

I'm not sure if this is in the proper area, and if this is a proper thing for a challenge, but I just want to hold myself accountable, instead of the usual "Bleh, I'll do this some other time...nobody knows it but me anyway" and just get this experience done with.

There were a lot of thoughts coming up as I decided to do this, because no mental chatter = no thinking, and then these thoughts start to well up, such as, "Then how will you plan your future??? Tomorrow? The world will spin of its axis if you don't constantly think about tomorrow! What if you want to think about your future? Your career??? Your shopping list??? Not thinking is bad!!!"

These thoughts keep on coming up, but I know that most of what I'm thinking isn't thinking, it's just imagining circular scenarios in my head, and worrying about things I can't change or I won't do anything about. But if I'm wrong, at the end of the 30 days, you'll just see this weirdo posting weird **** on this forum because he can't think straight.

I did a pre-trial test today, and was I surprised at how often my mind keeps on going off the whole day. I'd say I'm off imagining things roughly 90% of the time. I'll notice that I'm doing something but thinking something else, then I'll catch myself, but next thing I know, my mind will drift off for maybe 30 minutes before I go, "Whoa there. Stay here buddy. The future's offlimits."

I notice I tend to keep on entering weird scenarios in my mind. This morning while I was on the bus I kept on thinking how I would defend myself if all these people just went berserk and attacked me. My eyes just kept on looking at all the heaviest, most solid things I can heave at them, and ways to acrobatically jump over the seats and out the door.

But I did notice that when I am present (which I usually have to do by concentrating on my breathe) I feel a weird sense of lightness, and things start to have texture, sounds have more clarity, foods taste better, and people actually seem okay.

I'll start it today, and post some follow-ups every few days. Let's see how it goes.

Wish me luck guys.

[Zukin]

Best of luck to you in your challenge!

Being present is something that I'm working on as well.

[backpocket]

Ok, this is harder than I thought. It seems that thinking endlessly is a habit I've somehow programmed myself to do no matter what I'm doing.

I notice that whenever I'm doing something, my thoughts will immediately be a few steps ahead. If I'm entering the door, my thoughts would be on putting my stuff, getting on my bed, shows to watch. If I'm meeting someone, my mind will run through some scenarios and I'll try to respond and react to them, and sometimes I'll even say it outloud what I'm saying in my head. In fact, right now I'm thinking what would somebody else comment, and what the hell would I write tomorrow.

I noticed too that whenever I have a strong feeling, negative ones anyway, I'll feel like a block, or a stuck feeling in my body. It's usually in my forehead, in the middle of my chest, sometimes even in my legs. But when I'm just present and let my thoughts/feelings run its course, it usually just simmers off and dies away. Whenever I feel anger, frustrated, annoyed, it's usually when I label things/people/situations then wonder why the hell don't these people know better, and I'll feel pissed off. I feel much better when I just keep quiet and observe it.

Some ways I've noticed to really stay present is to use my peripheral vision more. When I'm using tunnel vision, it seems easier for me to slip into those thought trains that run forever but go nowhere. Using some things I've learnt from tai chi, like imagining that the floor is uneven, like water, or always being ready like something would happen anytime helps too. I think active thinking like this would probably help me more, instead of just trying to be an observer with a quiet mind.

I'm thinking of trying some meditation too tomorrow. Nothing too drastic, just 10 minutes in the morning, 10 in the evening, short times like that.

It's hard, but I've been getting a lot of good insights from this experience. It's not until I tried to always be present that I notice I've been sleepwalking all my life.

[Healthyfit]

I think you are on the right track, this reminds me of something I learned from AbrahamHicks...Basically they state that it is beneficial to focus on the task at hand.

I believe they say something like "focus in a life giving way in every moment"

Thinking about things is okay but I think the goal for me will be to use that thinking time to visualize how I want my future to be...so while I am working or eating, or reading or working out, or taking a bath or meditating or doing my hair I will be a focused being...when I am bored or standing in line or driving I will try to visualize and manifest

I hope this makes sense

[Angela]

I just want to point out that being present in the moment does not preclude planning for the future. It would be wise of you to acknowledge in the present the likelihood that you'll have to eat in the future, so go ahead and make your shopping list.

Just don't make the unknowable and unpredictable future mean anything -- like, worrying about getting your shopping done or fretting that the bananas might not be ripe. You can figure for contingencies about the future; it's feeling emotions based on things that are not happening that prevents you from being present Now.

[backpocket]

Originally Posted by Angela

I just want to point out that being present in the moment does not preclude planning for the future. It would be wise of you to acknowledge in the present the likelihood that you'll have to eat in the future, so go ahead and make your shopping list.

Just don't make the unknowable and unpredictable future mean anything -- like, worrying about getting your shopping done or fretting that the bananas might not be ripe. You can figure for contingencies about the future; it's feeling emotions based on things that are not happening that prevents you from being present Now.

I think first I should clarify why I wanted to do this challenge.

One of the main reasons is that my focus tends to be very scattered, and I wanted to be able to have a clear mind and think only what I want, when I want. I was inspired by Erin's Pesky Logic post where she went on an intuition binge and ignored logic for 30 days. I wanted to do something similar, and I had a feeling that if I was constantly aware and present, it would be easier for me to redirect my thoughts and increase my focus.

So, yeah, Angela, I'm not trying to ignore the future and deny it, I'm just trying to go on a present moment binge

Healthyfit: Yeah, that makes sense, because I'm working on LoA too. One of the things I notice is that things which I think of the intention, then just let it go (and sometimes forget about) usually just happens all by itself, without me needing to do too much about it, and just going with the flow.

[Schez]

present moment binges are really interesting. whenever i do it i always think i've got the hang of it and then some new emotion or reaction presents itself to me in a situation i've been in a thousand times before! and i think to myself 'i've stood at a bus stop without feeling like this loads of times before!' or 'i've spoken to this person without feeling this way for them hundreds of times before!' and i realise that because i've uncovered a layer of autopilot i'm taking notice of all these other things i wouldn't have noticed before. but because it's new i get sucked into it and again, my mind just runs off without me or my permission!!

Meditation has always helped me on these present moment binges. Practicing staying with the breath will help a lot throughout the day.

how's it going anyway?

[backpocket]

It's been great. I'm starting to feel a little more alive. Not just peace or joy and running around happy, but really being able to feel however I'm feeling, be it happy or sad.

This evening, while looking out my balcony, for some reason, I somehow felt as if I saw the world as it really was. It's hard to explain, but it feels like I've been looking at the world through some fog, and suddenly things just opened and everything seemed so alive, so real. The wall, the glass door, the floor, the building opposite, everything just seemed alive, but only for a fraction of a second, then I went back to normal. Maybe it's like when you watch a sunset, or a beautiful scenery, only what I saw was the same old walls in my flat and the opposite building. But it felt exactly like that.

Today, in fact, just now, my friend just told me some shocking news which disappointed me, something to do with my school and ALL the students would probably have to quit and we were all cheated and we wouldn't get certified for our work and stuff like that. My loan would probably be cut too, and because of that I'd have to quit, so I felt miserable and I would've usually cried or kept it in and repress it. But I stayed present, and I felt that sharp pain you usually feel in your chest just start to fill out my whole body, and just letting it be. It lingered, but as I noticed it and didn't allow negative thoughts, just letting it be for what it is, like an observer soon enough, the feeling went away all by its own. All I felt was peace, and a feeling that I could move on, no matter what happens, and that the past is done so forget about it.

It's great. Everybody should go on these kinda binges.

[Jim11]

Glad it's working well for you. It takes a lot of effort to remain focused. When I was trying to stop over thinking and over analyzing it was a constant effort. Now I have a whole lot more control of what I can block out of my mind at any point. Sometimes I still drift off, but probably only 10% as much as I used to.

It got to the point where I could hardly stand working at my current job. Not because of the work itself, but because of all the scenarios I would run through my head in the evening and when it was time to sleep. First job with a lot of accountability and pressure... forced me to grow

[backpocket]

Originally Posted by Jim11

Not because of the work itself, but because of all the scenarios I would run through my head in the evening and when it was time to sleep.

I understand what you mean. It's not the event itself, but what you think about that kills you.

[backpocket]

I seem to be piling up some momentum, as being present is starting to be a habit. Now it's much easier for me to notice my thoughts, whatever they are, and then just observe them, then choose to let it go.

Had more of those "being totally present" flashes today. When I did, my mind just went quiet, and I felt this joy, and I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I've read before all these books saying your natural state is joy, everything is perfect the way it is, etc, but only understand it on an intellectual level. Now I don't just understand it intellectually, but I know it. It was only temporary, these flashes but these tiny glimpses just make me more motivated to do this.

I'm using the Sedona method too, to help me deal with my emotions. More and more subtle emotions I've never knew I had are emerging as I start to accept them and let go.

While walking out today I noticed that for the first time I felt totally calm and relaxed, if not just more relaxed than usual. I usually feel some mild fear when I'm out, avoiding strangers, finding a corner to be alone, and just be numb. But now it seems that much more comfortable to go out.

[JonRhodesUK]

Wow, very interesting experiment. I generally find that most unhappiness is caused by thinking past or future. Hopefully you will get yourself in some good habits by the end of the 30 days.

Good luck!

[backpocket]

Only been posting intermittently, because it's just so damn hard to notice day to day progress with this.

Anyway, I've been noticing that thoughts happen endlessly, and shutting it up is probably nearly impossible for me. What I can do though, is to just let it be, like an observer. What really screws you up is when you start to think that the thought is you, that the voice in the head is you, that the endless chatter, the bad memories is you. It's not. Just let it go.

I still slip up and get lost in thought, but it's much less now than 8 days ago, and I catch myself doing it much more quicker now.

[backpocket]

I'm discontinuing this 30 day challenge, due to the fact that it is unmeasurable, and as I go on, I realise it would be better if I tweaked it a bit.

Today should be day 11, and I learnt that what I wanted the most was to be able to concentrate when I need to, and to manage my emotions and thought process better. I want to be able to choose my thoughts and emotions instead of being controlled by it. This challenge helped me a lot though by making me constantly aware of my many negative habits and patterns.

[IAmSoOverMe]

This is definitely something everyone should do. Shutting the brain off and letting all thoughts roll off. Just living in the present with no thoughts of the past nor future. It is much easier to do while meditating. If you focus on your breathing, and let your thoughts go while exhailing, after a period of time you'll find yourself what feels like an out of body experience. Just a conscious being existing in the Here and Now. It is very refreshing to do this at least once a day.
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