|09-09-2007, 02:41 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
My method for personal growth...
Very simple. I have a sample of it written out with social anxiety as the problem that I want to change.
The template for personal growth: What, When, How and Why
Initially, I included a who, but apparently, for personal growth, the answer will always be universal. Even if the change or problem is for something or someone else, the intention is of my own. I found that the where fell into the how and it didn't need it's seperate section.
Social anxiety as a result of fear. The goal is to understand the root of what the fears are based upon. Once clear, you can use rational input to counter or at least understand the problem. Freud came up with pyschoanalysis for this purpose. He wanted to see what was beneath the tip of the iceberg. Another method, developed by Adler, is conditioning. It is a more active type approach versus analytical. It puts the walk in motion. As human beings, we are very good at adapting. If we expose ourselves enough to something, we will grow congruent in accordance to that nature. I fear social situations because I don't trust people. I believe that they are critical of me, expecting me to fail or rejecting if failure is not an option. I tend to push people away if I feel they are getting too close. I am afraid they will find out things about me that they don't like. I plan to force myslef into social situations until I become more insensitive to them.
I have been in the analytical stage for way too long. I've stacked and stacked books and articles to further understand myself, yet I have seen no progress. Another realization for why I start another book before completing (as with many things in my life such as work and projects), is because I am afraid that I have no changed when putting myself to the test. Fear of failure once again. I have always been a run before learning to walk type of person. Sure, I get some satisfication from them, but as I get more into it, I realize I don't have the right foundation and cannot progress any further. It's like putting together a computer desk, and not putting all the bolts and screws to use. It will stand up at first, but won't be functionally optimally, and eventually, will fall apart. I was always good with concepts, but not detail. I could do the math problems, but if you asked me to explain, I would not be able to. I believe these are characteristics of a right brain dominant person. I now acknowledge the fact that to accomplish a thousand steps, I must take the first. Every moment count and it will show in the big picture.
I will start talking to everyone I encounter. Sure, it will be easier than expected. I will start out just the hello's and smiles. Eventually, I hope to just force replys from people around me. I understand I will sound foolish and unintelligent at times, but the goal of the exercise is to provoke interactions between myself and those around me. Silence is the only failure. My pool of opportunities would be family, friends and classmates. Occasionally, it will be strangers I encounter at stores, the gym and such.
The reason for the stress in my life is due to my lack in quality relationships and social interactions. I understand humans behave differently in different situations, but I feel that the personality I exhibit around others is way too incongruent with my own thoughts and feelings. Around others, my level of consciousness sinks real low and I am animal like. My goal is to get out of the situation unharmed. I am uncapable of comprehended or analyzing things that are going on around me. This anxiety freezes me and because of that, I feel that in order to grow as a person, I need to change that.
Also, my life for the past two years has been of a real unproductive and reclusive one. I haven't honestly looked for work. When it looked promising, I sort of hoped that it did not fall through. I have not honestly looked for someone in terms of a relationship.
I believe that I am a creative person, but the thought of criticism flat out eliminates my motivation to pursue that area. I sort of scrap by and do whatever everyone else is doing. At least, it is what I think everyone else is doing.
I know for a fact that I do not want to live a average life, scrapping by with a 9 to 5, being stuck with someone that I settled for.
The why was really difficult for me to write and it may be off tangent because it was more emotional than the rest.
Note: I plan to tweak and add more detail and reading this daily. Open for suggestions and comments.
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