Starting my life over ...

[Amunti]

Hi all, just looking for some help/advice.

I am 32 & in a bad situation.
I am being kicked out of my apartment ... I am broke (no $), depressed, have no idea where to go & what to do anymore. I have hardly any close friends, no idea what I want to do with my life & I'm wasting away here, completely broke and unbelievably depressed.

I'm VERY scared. I feel I need to do something quickly, but I have no idea what to do ...

Does anyone out here have any advice? What would you do in my situation?
I'm looking for work (temp work) but nothing's working out ... I am so nervous. Please, just looking for advice.

Thanks all.

[andrew]

Do you have any family? I'm very independant and the last thing I want to do is go back to live my parents. But you sound as if you need some support and people that care about you to get back on track. My first suggestion would be to contact your closest reletives and let them know your situation. I don't know how close or caring your family is, but I believe times like this is when you need them the most.

If you can survive on your own that's great, but maybe staying a few days with people who love you can turn things around. I'm not the lovey lovey type, but if you're that bad it really helps. At least they can help you come up with some solutions, as it's hard to offer specifics without knowing you, you know?

But stay positive, maybe do some law of attraction work, and do things that make you happy. I know it's really hard when you're depressed, but things always seem to work out. I find doing something nice or watching children be happy creates such a great feeling for me. Find what makes you happy and focus on that.

That's about the best advice I have without knowing you etc. It's all general stuff, so it may not be the best, but I still wish you the best.

[Gautam]

Before you do anything, first stop feeling sorry for yourself. Its only when you do this, you can think about what to do next. Go get yourself the first job you can get, try the local departmental store or the mcdonalds, janitor at a school whatever. This is only temporary so what you do doesn't really matter because what you need is some $ in your pocket. Its even better if you can work 2 jobs a day. This will keep your time occupied and earn you more.

Like the person above mentioned, move in with your family if that can be done. Otherwise move into a dormitory like YMCA or other such cheap boarding rooms for students. If possible try a cheap motel.

Start Saving! You must realize that this is the time where you can't indulge in any pleasures whatsoever. Walk to work, take the train or the bus. Save money on commutation to work, save money on room rent and save money on meals. Save everywhere you can.

Start looking for a good job As you are working in these small temporary jobs, keep looking for what you want to do for a living. Try to land a good job and then you can quit these other smalltime jobs.

Be Patient! When you're starting over new, its going to be awhile before you can be peaceful again. Be patient with yourself, with your emotions, your needs, your daily chores, your job, your home..everything! It might take a full year before you can start seeing some changes, but hey what's a year's worth of hard work compared to a lifetime of comfort?

Have a Higher Vision Keep visualizing what you want to be. Never stop seeing yourself in a higher place, as a happier person and living the life that you want. Visualize whenever you get a chance, while on the bus or when you're eating lunch. Have a dream! and make it come true one weekly wage at a time.

Socialize! As you mentioned that you don't have any friends, you should start making some right away! Befriend a co-worker, a neighbour or a local grocery guy anyone! Make sure you speak to someone atleast for 10 minutes a day. Be cheerful always! It attracts people to you and makes you look more approachable. Smile even in your darkest times and you will see that you have a light to guide you on ahead.

To sum it all up, just trust in yourself and in the universe. Don't think negative things, keep smiling even when things are looking dim, have a vision, work hard and be patient! It's easier said than done, but if you really want to do something with your life, then I suggest you best get going right NOW!

Wishing you all the very best!

[Alarin]

My sympathies for your situation Amunti! My advice would be to go see a good doctor as soon as possible and get help with your depression. I suspect that if you try and just soldier on at this particular time in your life, while also dealing with depression, you may do yourself more harm than good. Until about 2 years ago I also had depression and one of the most important things I learnt was in a crisis deal with the depression then deal with everything else, because you just can't function properly and do things like start a new job when your mind is trying to drag you down.

A good doctor will be able to help you with treatment and recommend the next step to take in your current situation.

I also agree with Andrew, if you have supportive family now would be a good time to spend some time with them, or if that's not an option find places in your local community where you can stay temporarily. A church could also be an option, you could make new friends there if nothing else and a pastor might be able to put you in touch with somewhere you can stay. I would say now is not the time to be alone if possible, you need support to help you get through a difficult time, don't try and take it all on yourself.

In your situation I personally would...

- See a good doctor and deal with the depression first, also ask the doctor if they know of any immediate places to stay as the surgery is probably in touch with community / social services.

- Find a new place to stay, whether it's with family or at a youth hostel or hotel. I'd try and find a place with people around, don't let yourself sit alone all day as that could make your depression worse.

- Continue your search for a job and take part-time work if you can find it, but can't find full-time work you enjoy. It might be better to just earn enough to keep yourself afloat at this stage until you've permanently sorted out your living situation.

- Find somewhere new to hang out, my personal choice would be a good local church or maybe Toastmasters or something similarly positive, you want to surround yourself with positive and caring people as much as possible.

- Most importantly stay positive and just take one day at a time. You can definately get through this if you take care not to let it overwhelm you.


There was a good post about depression on this forum recently which may help you when considering treatment - Depression

There's another post here although I haven't read this one yet - Overcoming depression

I also highly recommend "The Learning Path" for beginning to deal with depression, this is a free resource which you can read a bit of and act on each day.

And of course Steve's website is a fantastic resource in and of itself, you'll find lots of positive and inspirational articles there which can help you. You may simply be at the end of one journey and about to begin another, your current situation may turn out to be more of an opportunity than it is a disaster, even though it seems like a disaster right now, I've certainly had that kind of turnaround happen to me before.

I hope that helps. My best wishes and thoughts for your situation. Let us know how you go ok??

[BEautifulMind24]

Hello Everyone,

I hope all is well with everyone. I wish you all the best with your travels in life and hope you all find whatever it is you are looking for.

The purpose for me joining is to communicate with people who wish to better themselves in every way possible. I often feel alone at times because I feel as if I am on this journey alone. I know that even among people we are alone. Physicall no, psychologically yes. It is the truth. We share common interest and thoughts to feel a connection with someone or something.

I would like to hold onto the thoughts posted here to give me strength to go on, even in the worst of times. Persistence.

I am 24 years old. I have been living 3yrs since this past January. I am not alive all the time. It is difficult to remain like this. Unanswered question arise too often on my quest. Riddles, waiting to be solved.

About me: (the word below have taken me years of struggles and victories to understand. I have endured tremendous amounts of pain mentally to be where I am today.)

The Past/Present-
I come from nothing. I'm doing something to get something. To be somebody. In time I would like to become the best man I can become. Through my failures and victories I become closer to this man. One day if I'm persistent enough I will be this man.


Present/Future-
I came from nothing. I did something to get something. I became somebody. Through my failures and victories I became a better. Today because I was persistent I am a better man.

I come to you seeking guidance. I seem to be on and off track more than Id like to be. I am living wrong. It comes and goes. It is hard to sustain success and remaining on track.

It hit me hard tonight that I have to back track and start my life over again. I have achive great success at a young age. Though today I am not on top like I used to be. I understand it doesn't last. Its how you choose to deal with this and begin again. A very difficult thing to swallow.

I know I have to go back in time to what used to work, to remain diligent and scholarly to rise again. To reach my potential. It is hard knowing I have to begin again. This is hard to very hard for me to come to terms with this. Knowing I have to start again, lost days and hours have passed me by.

I seek freindships and words to get me through this. I hope I can do the same for you. For I am not as self sufficent as I once was.

I know I will rise again and be victories in my battles and win the war in the end if I am strong and smart enough.

[verbors]

/\ Whats with that post

Anyway, first you need to get rid of your fears. Think this through, whats the worest that can happen.

The best thing to do is to get on with it. There is always an option.

[andyoyo]

Where are you from, I'd like to meet you in person, I felt the exact same way for the past 7 years. Sometimes it's about leaving others to become independant, other times its about finding someone to lean on and face the struggles together.

It's definetly no accident you came to this site.

The most memorable people in the world have been in the same crossroads of despair & change. This moment will make or break your future, consider your philosophy; for me I have to look deep into nature to find it.

[jonarmis]

Hi Amunti,

I am very sorry to hear about your condition. But think about it this way, problems are just as passing as water under the bridge. God never gave you this trial or challenge to spite you, He gave it to you because He knew you can do it. Don't despair. Best to do is, go to your family. or friends. You must have a some. Ask for their help. Look for job immediately, that way the financial aspect will be covered. You can then work on the rest.

Don't wallow in your misery, instead, stand up and fight back! It's not the end of the world.

[Rick Abelson]

Except I am 30 years older. I know what you are going through. How you got to this point in unimportant right now. Getting your head right is what is important. 4 years ago I was making $300K per year. I retired and my world turned upside down. Without going into the gory details, I have filed bankruptcy. Lost my home and all my savings. My only possesions are my clothes. I have $1,600 to my name, no insurance, no job and no car. I am living in the basement of some friends that took me in until I can get back on my feet. I am using their computer to write my blog and to get back on the comeback trail. Remember this...you are broke but not poor. You still have your health, your desire to comeback or you wouldn't have posted here. What has worked for me is getting myself back in great physical shape and writing my blog about the things that made me successful in the past and will make me successful in the future. some folks here have recommended that you go to a doctor. They don't understand that when you have NO money you can't go to a doctor and anyway I don't think a doctor is what you need. The cure is within you. Just do whatever you have to do to get a roof over your head and then move onto the next step. Now is not the time to let pride get in your way. I was an executive for one of the biggest company in the world a few years ago and now I have a part-time job stocking shelves at minimum wage. Gives me time to plan and think. You should do the same. Best of luck...Everyday above ground is a great day! Rick

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

For the financial part try this article: Making a Financial Turnaround.

If you are able to get a stable footing there it seems to me many of the other things you are facing will be much easier to deal with.

[Swede]

I would like to know a little bit more, if you don't mind. Do you live in the US? Do you have any work experience or education?

I am thinking: If opportunities does not present themselves where you live maybe you should move, maybe even abroad. I can tell you this: If you are a native English speaker there are always teaching opportunities around the world. Even if you don't have a teacher's education.

Don't fall down! We will help you.

[Rick Abelson]

Yes I live in DeWitt, Iowa right now. You can visit my blog and find out all about my background and current life. I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I am depressed or down. Exactly the opposite. I have been at the top of the corporate world, have made big money so that fact that I have no money now is just a temporary situation. I was just trying to buck up the young fella who is going through the same thing that I did. By the way...I did teach english when I was living in Ecuador. You are right...there are alot of opportunities outside the US.

[Swede]

Rick Abelson: Oh, I was referring to Amunti.

But considering your situation, I must say the following: Being on top economically and then loosing it all and still maintain integrity... That is real success. That is showing that you have become an extraordinary person.

A thought - Why don't you take some time off and teach English abroad? You could do it again, couldn't you?

[Pegasus]

Hi Amunti!

I sympathize with your situation. If I didn't have pure luck as well as family to bail me out during the transitions, I'd probably be in the same boat. I have yet to figure out the secret to supporting myself and finding work that I like and excel at. I can only recommend considering options such as doing online translations (if you are fluent in any languages), working retail, doing restaurant work, or working at FedEx or UPS.

Best of luck! Things WILL get better.

[Jennihul]

So, how did you get yourself into this mess? It would be important to resolve that or your karmic debt will just follow you.

Jennifer

[Chado2423]

Have you tried homeless shelters. You could also check yourself into a facility like I went to. Many of them have rehabilitation. Just be honest with the doctors and everything if you choose that option. Homeless shelter may not be a bad idea for you. Me personally I am with family, but was homeless twice.

[BEautifulMind24]

Automn,


Where are you from? I was homeless last year. I found several agencies to aid in rebuilding yourself. I can help, just get back to me.

Patrick

[BEautifulMind24]

Atumn,

I came from nothing one year ago. I left my parents house to make it on my own. I lived in my car and various places for one month. Then resided in a homeless shelter for 4 months then a halfway house which I currently live in. On top of all that I still attended school, didnt tell a soul. That was one of the hardest things for me to endure. I got through it for one reasons, I wanted to be somebody. Today because I've been persistent enough I am somebody. It gives me great energy to keep fighting, day in and day out. For a better tomorrow. A better year from now. A better life for future generations to come. I live my life by a code, earn it everyday no matter how painstaking it might be. I agree with what somone previously wrote that the higher power gave you these burdens because he chose you to deal with them. Likewise for me. Its not easy but try to move forward even if its only a little but. Let me remind you, I did this to myself, by my own free will. I belive that if you want to become somebody you have to do it on your own, with as least help as possible. Not everyone can do this. It takes time and training to live a life like this. Its the most rewarding life one can earn. Its yours, noone can take it from you. Here's some fire that gives me the strength to go on: YouTube - Bob Seger Wait For Me. Let you mind soap this up and give you fuel when you need it the most. I feel your pain, I've been there. Just know and think that you have what it takes to go on, even in the worst of times. Be, "The Few The Proud".

Patrick

[evelynlim]

Oh dear, Amunti, I suggest you get help to tide over this temporary situation. Find a job quickly so that you can get back on your feet. Then, start to think of ways to deal with your depression.

Evelyn