Is it a bad thing that SR makes no sense to me?

[XeutonMojukai]

I hate to offend anyone who seems to love SR, but to me it is far too confusing to make any sense...

If reality is my own choice, then somewhere I chose to have neurological disorders that get in the way of my mind's ability to function.

If I'm directly connected to consciousness as long as I am willing to trust that, then I should be the most successful 19-year-old who ever lived, since my mind knows no limits that it doesn't just transcend instantly.

If I can manifest anything, then why can't I manifest the lack of requiring hard work on top of the endless stuff I do just to be sane day-to-day?

How can I have large-scale, long-term plans to change the world when every day is infinitely filled with conscious thought to control my own ego?

Finally, what do all these stupid words mean, anyway? why does anyone care, when it's perfectly easy to make a difference by being your own change?

If there is only one consciousness, then it's perfectly reasonable that I can will all people to have the same mindset as myself, yet that's not the case.

If I'm the only consciousness that exists, then those of you reading this are illusions, and do not exist except as part of my mind...

Not only is this confusing, but it's also the most amoral system I've ever seen, and is simply a justification for cheating in life.

Why not embrace finiteness, and die knowing you'll immediately be infinite again?

Isn't the most fascinating thing about life the fact that you're not every person, but rather just one among many?

Isn't it more fun to be part of a group than the Mastermind of existence?

Pretty f***ing lonely, if you ask me...

So what if you can win the lottery or make someone say something? It's a cheap trick of your preternatural divinity and is going against the whole point of our lives...

If life is a game, why not play by the rules, or at least make the rules fair?

And finally, if psychics do exist, why can't their almighty consciousness be fabricating the things they sense, just to give the illusion of reality?

Alright, rant over, but think about all this, because it's not exactly like any of us really has a clue what we're talking about except from our perspective and that of our imaginative "transcendence" into objectivity, thinking we know what others are thinking...

Maybe I'm turning Cartesian, maybe I'm going insane, but maybe - just maybe - I'm coming onto something that none of you have ever thought about...

~ David