Healing emotional wounds VS attracting negative consequences
So I'm probing my past. I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. Some painful memories have come back.
Meditation would say you need to feel the feelings before you are free of the pain. But if the Law of Attraction is indeed working at all times, wouldn't this mean that by delving into past hurt....the likelihood of it happening again increases?
Is there an effective way to heal emotional wounds using LoA?
You raise a fascinating question.
I would like to figure this out. I have come to believe that the past pain exists via repression until and unless it has been healed. If that is the case then LOA is at work regardless. In fact I suspect it is at work via the blocks that have not been identified (old hurts).
If that is the case then allowing those repressed pains to surface is the way to healing and to releasing the pain keeps the repressed hurts from bringing on more of the same via the unconscious.
Keeping it buried isn't going to help anyone. Because even if you're not consciously aware of it, it's there, affecting your reality in significant ways. Until and unless you find the hurts, release them, and heal them, they're going to keep right on affecting your reality.
Yes, you'll have some pain for a while, but pain is just pain, and nothing more. It's like opening up an infected wound in order to clean it out. It hurts! But then it can heal properly and stop spreading infection throughout your system.
Same thing with unprocessed and unhealed emotional, psychic, and mental injuries.
But is there anyway to heal using loa?
Say you want to confront someone from your past. By visualizing said confrontation were you dealt with the issue....what would happen?
Would that make way for that interaction to take place in real life? Or what?
I'm gonna be honest here...I read and read about emotional healing everywhere, but I'm still not convinced about any of the methods. I've read about. Is there anything out there that really works?
If you really intend the opportunity to confront someone, you can certainly create a confrontation.
I got there with a combination of sincere intention (which was in the form of prayer, because that's really all I knew to do at the time) and surrender, a bit at a time, to the process that came about as a result of that intention. I really, sincerely, and genuinely wanted change, complete change if necessary, and that's what I got. It wasn't an easy process, but it was definitely worth it.
I feel my intentions are good. Basically I feel I let some people step on me in the past and that whole part of my life is leaving me feel I no longer respect the person I've been in some situations. The problem is I've been treating these individuals like I let everything slide (which I kinda did because I'm too forgiving) and that they can basically consider myself my friends.
But lately I've been feeling like I really need to let go of the person I was in a lot of areas in my life. And I want to confront the past. It's a matter of honor. The more conscious new me does not want people to get the wrong impression and wants to establish the boundaries.
Problem is, these people are not very much in my life that much these days...and it would feel weird to confront them on purpose. It would make me feel that by confronting them I'm giving them more reason to believe I'm someone they can disrespect...since I'm obviously "traumatized" by it.
I just want to clean the slate of all this accumulated crap. For the first time in my life I'm starting to dislike myself and feel I lost part of my self-respect. That simply doesn't jive with the BIG BIG things I want for myself. I'm specially afraid of the reputation I will have gathered once I reach the top....I don't want to be called the guy with no spine....it's a matter of integration and authenticity.
I had my own stuff in the past that I wasn't happy about--and I didn't like who I had been at the time. I was angry at the people who had mistreated me, but I was even angrier at myself for being weak and allowing that to happen.
So for a long time, I had to keep reminding myself, "That was then, this is now," and focus on being the person I wanted to be, rather than keeping alive the person I had been before.
"That was then, this is now." Who do you want to be? Be that person. Who you were before is like a ghost that doesn't know it's dead, still haunting your present self--so send it into the light. You could do that as a visualization, or write a letter to your past self. Whatever works for you.
I think that if you can do that, you might find a lot of the shame, guilt, anger, resentment, and other negative emotions will lose their power. In my case, the memories that used to get me all riled up just don't have that power any more. I remember what happened, but they feel like someone else's memories--which they are. Those offenses in the past were committed against someone else, and thus have nothing to do with me, the person I am right now.
Is it possible that the confrontation you really need to have is with yourself, to address how you feel about letting other people get away with disrespecting you, and why you allow that to happen?
In fact, I believe that "letting go of who you were," while at the same time "confronting the past" accomplishes neither. By confronting the past, you stay there--you can't let it go that way. And I see this a lot in people who have spent years in therapy, or reading self-help books, endlessly analyzing and revisiting their pasts; they stay stuck in it. And for a long time, I got stuck in it, too. The way to un-stick yourself is to let go and move forward, focusing on the present.
If you start building your new self, the person you want to be, you might find that these people will disappear from your life. They won't die or anything; you just won't encounter them any more. Or, if they do stick around, the relationships will change for the better.
However, you might also find yourself dealing with them more often for a while, especially at first. It's like a test: "Oh, you want to be treated with respect, now? You really mean it, huh? Well, let's see how you do!" and *BAM!* there's your nemesis, right in front of you! And when that happens, your task is to stay focused on the better self you intend to be right now, not the past self you have always been around this other person.
My father likes to provoke people, throwing them off-balance so he can appear superior. Then, when they get upset or angry, he dismisses them as being too sensitive, or unable to take a joke. Needless to say, I spent most of my life angry and heartbroken that he'd treat me that way. And he still tries to do it, whenever I see him.
But these days I no longer give him the power to hurt me. I just think, "Oh, there he is, trying to throw me off-center again," and completely ignore whatever he said. Or I say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. Would you care to repeat it?" But the funny thing is, he never wants to repeat whatever ugly remark he's just made, and gets flustered. He wants to stir up my emotions, but when that doesn't happen, he retreats and finds someone else to pick on.
I give him no significance, in other words. To argue with him, confront him, fight back, or otherwise defend myself (making it a "matter of honor," as you put it) gives him significance. It says, "What he says matters, and has the power to affect me, so I must defend myself." But when I give it no significance, his jabs are just like the halfhearted barking of an old dog. If I ignore the barking, the dog will go back to sleep and leave me alone.
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