I know I have a limiting belief, but WHAT is it????
 

<Roaring in frustration>

I've had it with an elusive internal belief! Here's what the belief has resulted in so far in my life: Whatever I say I can do, or will do, or have to do, doesn't work out. Something happens to make things not work out. Latest example: I thought I could earn a few extra $$ a day (not much, like $5 or so) writing short blurbs for an online site. I've been doing this for the past few days, and I know more than a few people who've done it for months. The site usually has lots of work.

I had been worried about how I was going to earn money (some clients no longer having as much work for me) and another person mentioned how much she had just earned at this site this morning. So I sent a note to her, thanking her because her news had calmed me down. I went to the site.

The blurbs are gone. Done. The only work left is something that doesn't pay nearly as much and will require several hours to reach $5.

I used to think things like this were signs from the universe that, oh, I shouldn't be doing that. But it's happening with EVERYTHING. Yes, I'm shouting! I'm frustrated! It's been going on for 41 years, dammit, and becoming more frequent every year!

I tried thinking, well, the belief must be something like, "Nothing ever works out for me." Or, "Nothing ever works out for me the way I want it to." Someting like that. But I can't find a reverse belief that hits the spot, rings the bell. "Everything works out the way I want it to" is actually dangerous, because if my subconscious wants me to fail, then it might substitute its own wants in that affirmation instead of my conscious desire to succeed.

I've tried afformations, affirmations, negative affirmations, keeping silent, telling the universe, relaxing, concentrating, being happy, being detached, and everything else I can think of, and I'm at my wit's end! If other people can succeed and be rich and all that, so can I.

But it's that thought. That kingpin, as Florence Scovel Shinn calls it, that's jamming up everything. The only times when I've seen something miraculous come through are when I've come to the end of it and start wondering if I should just be a failure and that's all. I shouldn't have to bring myself to the brink of complete despair in order to let go and have something manifest. I've been trying to locate this damn thought for 4 years now (2008, 2009, 2010, 2011).

Help.

Oh, and I should add that the "things not working out" happens whether I've thought things through or just jumped and waited for the net to appear, as they say. I know two limiting beliefs are "I never think things through" and "I always make a mistake" because I was told those repeatedly by a family member throughout my life (I stopped talking to that family member).

But I can't figure out how to change it around without entering dangerous territory. My subconscious has been rebelling so much it's taken me to the point where I'm now the stereotypical always-borrowing-money-family-black-sheep who has come close to eviction twice. And no matter what anyone says about aw, go ahead, let yourself be evicted, don't resist, get real. You know eviction is not a good thing.

Yes, I'm angry. I'm frustrated. Not at you. Well, I will be at you if you say I obviously have a limiting belief about success or things working out, because that shows you didn't read my post.

I'm cranky.

And I know most of you will read my post, so I'm not angry at you.

I've found that when you distinguish an identity-level limiting belief (a meaning you make about who you are, what I call a "gremlin"), it hits you like a ton of bricks, as you look around and see that it has been running you in every area of your life since you were very small. It's astonishing! And it's a great opportunity for releasing what has kept you from being present to choice, freedom, and opportunity.

I wouldn't bother looking for a "reverse belief" until you've been hit by the pervasiveness and power of your gremlin and looked at the impact it has had on your life; otherwise it'll tend to have you just coping and surviving with the old belief, rather than truly clearing an entirely new space for inspiring possibility in your life. Don't worry about changing it or fixing it; just look. Often, just shining light of conscious awareness on what has been unconsciously running you has tremendous power to diminish it's hold on you, or even make it disappear completely.

To get to the gremlin, take what you've already distinguished (like, "Whatever I say I can do, or will do, or have to do, doesn't work out. Something happens to make things not work out") and add, "...and that means that I am ____." Ask your unconscious mind, not your conscious, grown-up, figured it all out mind. Speculate until you get that ton of bricks effect. When you find it, it will be very, very familiar -- it has been your constant companion for a looooong time.

Another way to approach it is to look at what you habitually think when you're stressed out: What words go through your mind? Notice that they tend to occur like a judgement of yourself, and/or an action you order yourself to take. (A huge one for me was: "I'm trapped - get the hell out" - that would show up in pretty much every area where I wasn't being effective or feeling like I was getting the results I consciously wanted.)

Before the "blah" starts flowing from my fingertips, let me say thank you. I mean that.

Do you mean (for example, just throwing this out) something like: "Whatever I say I can do, or will do, or have to do, doesn't work out. Something happens to make things not work out" and add, "...and that means that I am a moron"? (Not that this is what I actually think, but as an example.) I know what you mean about a "ton of bricks effect" -- I had one particularly bad one (when I took out student loans when I didn't want to, I had that feeling very strongly plus the thought "I'll never be able to pay this off." And so far, I haven't) several years ago. Been trying to repair that thought ever since.

Just as an aside -- I'm self-employed -- another way this has been manifesting is over the past few months, every time I figure out a way to pay back my debt without killing myself with overwork, my clients cut the workload they have for me. Like, within a day or so, literally within 1 to 2 days. And they cut it for all their contractors, so I'm having a huge effect here.

"Dammit, not again!"
"I'm doomed."
"That's it. I'm really wondering now if that's it and I'll be evicted."
(Another one isn't really a thought but a feeling--the scorn from my family and the feeling they think I'm an idiot who should just go back to being a secretary. Did I mention that when I do get a "regular" job, my health deteriorates rapidly, and I start getting repeatedly sick?)

You're welcome. Again, the ones I have found to be richest are the ones about identity - who you know yourself to be, like "I am ____."

It can take some genuine, focused self-inquiry to find it, because a gremlin is squirmy -- it doesn't want to be found, it doesn't want the light of day to be shone upon it, because it knows (you know, at a deeply unconscious level) that conscious awareness will weaken or eliminate it.

And: it has a positive purpose! It is there for a very good reason, to protect you and keep you safe and alive, even though it is a little outdated and you have developed far more effective and sophisticated resources for handling the stuff you originally created the decision or command in order to handle.

You were just a little-bitty kid when you made this decision, after all. It was the best resource you had available, at the time. Do your best to let go of making it wrong or resisting it -- because that will keep it powerfully in place, not to mention feel pretty frustrating. Be grateful to your unconscious mind for creating this resource to keep you alive! It worked, didn't it? You are alive right now! (And I'm glad.)

Thank you :o

Yes, the childhood protection. I keep telling myself this is an old template, an old story. It must have become deeply entrenched....

I'm just sad now. I feel like there's this knot of dried superglue gumming up everything that I can't knock loose. Worst part is, it's taken me to the point, esp. financially, where I really can't take off for a day and go sit in the park. It's taken me that close to the edge. Maybe that's part of the safety stuff. Get a regular job, don't go out, be safe from other people you won't be poor. Be plain, don't stick out. Then I try doing that, and my true self (essential self, if you're a Martha Beck fan) rebels and makes me sick and depressed and generally hating life.

Have you read Sonia Choquette's "Your Heart's Desire" book? She talks about her friend Andy, who wanted to be a musician but whose family didn't approve, and after he gave in and got a steady office job, he became so depressed he overdosed on drugs and alcohol and died. That's a story I'm trying to avoid. Lots of people see nothing wrong with office jobs, but I've had such bad experiences.... erk.... I react to stress very physically. Office jobs make me feel trapped.

I'm rambling. Okay. I'll spend some time just thinking about the phrase and see what feelings come up. Thank you.

Oof. I may have come close to one. I don't know if it is one, because I haven't been thinking about it for long yet, but "I'm unsafe."

Though I don't know how that fits into -- oh, well, maybe I do know. If I'm unsafe, or not safe, then things don't work out and leave me in precarious positions....

So to be safe, do what others tell me and don't stick out, but if I go out and do things on my own and with my own reasoning (be independent), I'll be unsafe again....

Gah....

First, I totally understand your frustration. I'm going to try to help you sort out some of it, based on what you've written. It may or may not do the trick, but I'll give it a try.

Frustration is an emotion that says "I will not have what I need". It happens when we try to accomplish something and can't do it. We work at it, we try different approaches, we wait, we hope, we try something else, etc., and the frustration grows and grows. What you're saying when you embrace this feeling (note: I'm not saying it's not okay to experience it; just recognise it for what it is), is, "I cannot get what I need".

I know this emotion intimately. I spent most of my life with it as my constant companion. It's only very recently that I've been able to dismiss it, and that was because I saw it for what it is. My fear, expressing itself, and me agreeing with that fear.

This is the kind of place from which frustration is born.

Worry is rooted in fear, too.

There you go. Your belief that you won't be able to get what you need, which is rooted in fear, has blossomed into a manifestation of not getting what you need and being frustrated.

I suspect that this is because it's pretty much what you expect. For whatever reason, you believe that nothing you do will work out. The more you try to make it work out, the more it doesn't. That's pretty powerful manifestation. Beliefs rooted in fear are extremely powerful.

I'm guessing there's another belief here about your age. Something along the lines of "by the age of [whatever] I should have achieved [whatever] but I won't, because nothing works out".

And I've totally been there and done that. I've only been out from under that cloud for a fairly short period of time, in fact. I can't even say how well it's working, other than to note that for a while now, I've had plenty of money, despite all odds and circumstances. It's kind of amazing, actually.

Try journalling it. I like to use a pen and paper for this, because it forces me to consider what I'm writing, but you can type it if you're more comfortable doing that. Just sit down and write until you work it out. Stream of consciousness. At the top of the page before you start, write something like, "Intention: Locate limiting belief and see it clearly so I can work to release it" and then just brainstorm it for as long as you want or need to do it.

In fact, you may have some subconscious desire to fail. I did, for a long time. I finally realised that I had a belief that if I succeeded, if I thrived, it would let my dysfunctional parents "off the hook", and they'd be able to say, "See? We didn't do you any harm! You're fine!" It's quite self-defeating, but there it was. (I'm not suggesting anything about you or your parents; just sharing for the sake of illustration. ;))

You can try journalling that, too. What do you get from failing? What does it mean when you don't succeed? What would happen if you DID succeed? What would change about your life? About you? About your identity?

One thing I learned about myself is that I love the feeling of "relief". I would push myself to the brink in all kinds of ways: procrastinating, holding back, refusing to accept various possibilities, and so on, just to experience that blessed feeling of utter relief. (Again, not suggesting this is anything you might be doing.)

And, too, sometimes some belief is just so much a part of the identity we've created for ourselves that the idea of changing it is almost a threat to that identity.

No, but there are reasons why you do this to yourself, why you exhaust yourself before you give in and allow. I know there are, because I used to do the exact same thing, time and time again. I absolutely know the frustration you're experiencing.

Give the journalling a try. See if it helps. At this point, it can't hurt, right? ;)

I have this too. I knew even when I first realized it a very long time ago, that it could develop into a problem. (It was when I fell in love with spring after an exceptionally harsh winter.) Relief feels good, and high-level relief can be blissful, like being in love. That's an addictive feeling.

Hmm, this thread is rather though provoking.

Thinking about, I resist letting myself succeed. I almost scafed of what it would be like if I did. ITs the unknown, i know what its like to have an average life-style. ITs comfortable.

"IF I succeeded, what would I live for then?" Kind of thing.

Since everything is created in the present moment, the idea that you are at the mercy of existing beliefs, is a limiting belief...

Realize that whatever ideas (beliefs) that you currently hold, are JUST ideas and can always be changed in the present moment. It is not necessary to dig through the past and attempt to uncover reasons (existing idea/beliefs) as the culprit for a lack of progress.

THE PRESENT IS THE POINT OF POWER.

Read "The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book" by Jane Roberts. Seth preceded Abraham, and probably due to Jerry's fascination with the Seth material, I am sure that Seth had a profound influence on the material Abraham delivered.

In my opinion, the Abraham material is more practical and user friendly; however there is no replacement for "The Nature of Personal Reality" as a foundation.

I agree that it's not necessary, but it sure is fun -- and bringing unconscious thought patterns to conscious awareness is a powerful way to generate new freedom, choice, and opportunity to one's life.

It's also helpful for those of us not channeling entities. :)

Angela, I've been doing more thinking about your posts. The idea of "I'm unsafe" has been floating around as a possible belief for me for a while, but I think your post and exercise confirmed it. If I believe I'm unsafe, then I (subconsciously) react to it with fear: "OMG! I'm not safe! S**t! I'm not safe! I'll never be safe!! I'm doomed!!" So if I'm reacting to that belief with that fear, that fear manifests as situations to make me fearful and confirm I'm not safe.

Another safety issue that wasn't brought up by your exercise, but by something else I thought about a few months ago is that I tend to lose things I like. Not as in misplacing, but as in opportunities wasted and missed, a job I'm sure to get suddenly being canceled, money promised to me suddenly disappearing, etc. I think part of the "unsafe" feeling stems from that and from many childhood experiences of people stealing from me (kids in the playground at school ran up and stole my lunch out of my hands once; another time, a "friend" tricked me out of my money when I was 5; etc.). So maybe I feel like if I have things, people will take them and I'll lose them, so it's safer not to have things.

It's possible this feeling has been trying to get resolved for a while and is getting seemingly worse because it's becoming more intense in its bid for attention. I don't really know if it's just plain vanilla resistance to being changed. I get the sense it's been trying to get my attention.

So. "I'm safe" seems to be a big winner today. Thank you.

I have it and have read it. It's a fantastic book. The idea of right now, right NOW, being the point from which the next moment and all its trappings springs has been influential. It's been difficult to keep it in mind when other people have a say in what's happening (like invoices being paid or what have you). One of my beliefs is that we can't necessarily control what others do (occasionally we can if they are subconsciously agreeable to that), even if we all spring from the same source. So it's been a hit-and-miss process.

I've tried the "This is just a belief, so I believe I no longer have it" method, but my subconscious is clearly programmed differently. :)

I don't know if this is how it works for you, but for me, it's not how will I be after succeeding and getting rich and all that, but how will others act toward me. I'm fine with money in my bank account. I once had the experience, though, of an idiot account manager seeing my rent money and trying to get me to withdraw it and invest it. He refused to take no for an answer (until I started screaming it in front of everyone in the bank). So there's a fear in me, drawing these people to me as evidence, that if I have money, others will try to take it.

And as I wrote that I realized that could be another issue. I've had to borrow money to survive and go deeply into debt, and I wonder if part of it is based in the two ideas that:

1) Once I get money, it goes toward paying back debt, which no one can really argue with, so once I get money, it's safe, no one can take it from me; and

2) Once I get money, I'll have to pay it to other people to pay this debt back, so I've set up a situation in which no matter what money comes in, it's going to other people to confirm that other people always take my money.

Huh.

It is addictive. Good point.

Agreed. I know where you're coming from.

Yes. I addressed this in the posts just above, but I think you're right. Whatever this belief is, it's generating fear, which is minfesting the exact situations to confirm my inner belief.

Very much so. This is--I gotta say it, Angela's exercise and all the following posts are really helping uncover something here.

Not so much achievement as just "How long do I have to keep doing this before it works," plus general blah about how long it's been going on.

That's actually been out in the open for a while for me--I finally accepted a few years ago that no matter what I did, someone else would probably try to take the credit for giving me the idea, that my parents wouldn't see the big deal about my upbringing (oh, were there issues...), and so on. That's one reason I know there's something else going on because not much improved once I got that nagging thought out of my mind. :rolleyes:

Ultimately, this is certainly true. But it's a few steps beyond where the OP is at the moment (I know that having been there ;)). Unfortunately, "realisation" is not something that many people can do at will. It can take some time for the ego-self to loosen up on its self-concept and ideas about how the world is and so forth, before realisation can come. That's absolutely correct. But it can take some time before the ego-self realises this and is able to let go. It would be truly wonderful if everyone were able to just instantaneously let go of these restrictive beliefs, thoughts, ideas, concepts, etc., but extricating Awareness from the entangled framework generated by the ego-self is not always as simple as voluntary realisation.

Eeek! How did Angela get banned???? I logged in and saw the banned banner by her name....

Um, well, an update here....

I've identified more beliefs. Things like "I'm stupid," which lead to secondary beliefs like I can't handle money (thus proving how stupid I am, etc.). so I'm working on those. Already I've seen my usual pattern--a brief minor stroke of good luck followed by nothing. So, basically a minor alpha reflection followed by nothin'.

I hope things improve fast....

Why can't you switch it around and say it always works out for me? Doesn't mean you always get your way in a spoiled kid way but in the end the universe will provide what is right for you. I have the faith and belief it will work out for me.

Please re-read my first post. I address this in one of the paragraphs.

Yeah, I saw that after I posted.... :(

I know I have a limiting belief, but WHAT is it????
 

Jesann,

I was intrigued by both your questions, and your responses to others on this thread who related their own experiences in hopes of helping you.

After reading these, I moved on to other questions in the Intention / Manifestation forum, because it seemed to me that their, and your interacting posts, indicated that you are well on your way to answering the consuming question in your OP.

When I moved on, my attention was drawn to the thread I'm about to share with you (also from the Intention / Manifestation forum) that I thought could provide a helpful perspective: http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/i...-t-matter.html .

In providing this thread for your consideration, I became aware that while I was reading the threads you and your respondents have posted, there was a question brewing in the back of my mind of "How could I help Jesann?". The "how" became immediately apparent to me in exactly the manner depicted in the above thread: To the question I posed to myself, above the Universe provided the how....in 2 minutes.

I think you may also find quite valuable that the questions the respondents in the above post posed offered similar challenges and helpful perspectives, as well.

Allow me to offer one other perspective from another thread you may find helpful, as well...dealing with the topic of "letting go". http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/i...ml#post1043697

Perhaps these can help you discover the "how" answer to the question that has caused you such frustration, too....:)