Things fall apart?

[moonrambler]

I would like to look at this from an I/M or LoA lens, as that's the focus with which I have pursued my financial goals over the past few years.

My income started going steadily up about a year into this pursuit (well, not steadily, more like two steps up, one step back, two steps up, one step back, and so on, but still excellent progress). By this summer, everything was completely on track to pay back all the money I owe, which is a lot, but is a whole lot less than it was a few years ago.

Then, blam, my work supply ran out this fall. And my income got cut by about 2/3, and I have not figured out a way to boost it back up substantially.

During all this, my house is a mess. I have taken very little time to clean, and it's very cluttered, and I haven't paid much attention to stuff that needs maintenance or repair or replacing, because there hasn't been the extra money to deal with it.

In addition, sometimes things seem to "just happen." I had one of those this past week. There was maybe nearly an electrical fire connected with the washer/dryer combo, which I was not running at the time. My friend who lives closest and also has a lot of experience in home renovation rushed over. I had already shut off the circuit breaker, and he went to unplug the dryer. When he did that, there was a power surge and all the lights went stadium and I said holy crap. Then the breaker box started humming and buzzing, and he rushed over and flipped off the main switch.

Something is screwed up in the wiring that unleashed the 220 voltage from the dryer into the 110 wiring. There's another breaker box for the addition, basement and garage, so I still have electricity in part of the place.

The house also needs a new roof and now I don't have a functioning washer/dryer. And I'm out of propane, so can't run the furnace. I've got space heaters, but can only run them in the area where there's electricity! The kitchen electricity is off, so now my refrigerator is functioning as an icebox with bags of ice.

Anyways -- in an I/M or LoA lens, I have been really wondering WTF.

There is one nagging aspect to all this. I got way behind on the mortgage in 2007/2008 or thereabouts, when I got into the financial trouble. So now there's always back payments owed that I don't seem to be able to clear up. The bank (not the servicer) does not do any modifications on any mortgages whatsoever. The servicing company and I have been working on this all this time. They put me on repayment plans and I manage it for awhile but then something (like this latest debacle) screws it up. They set up a modification under the government plan a couple years ago and we did the three-month trial, but the bank wouldn't go for that either. This year, I have been getting so mad, that I had a running thought for awhile that I would just stick it to them and walk away.

It makes me wonder if, seemingly out of my control, my subconscious mind or whatever is working very hard to fulfill this mission and make sure the bank is really stuck . . . with a house that needs a new roof and doesn't have any heat and now 3/4 of it doesn't have electricity either.

I don't know where to go with this. I have felt so defeated and beaten down this week.

[lycan]

You spoke a lot about what is happening in your immediate sensory world, what your natural eyes see. What happens in your imagination?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

It makes me wonder if, seemingly out of my control, my subconscious mind or whatever is working very hard to fulfill this mission....

It sure does sound like it!

If you're feeling defeated and beaten down, through an IM/LoA lens, it seems like a pretty good vibrational match that things would look like they're falling apart and a mess.

I don't know where to go with this. I have felt so defeated and beaten down this week.

I would reach for a better feeling thought, perhaps one step up the emotional guidance scale from "defeated and beaten down." What would that be for you: a draw, maybe? Or if that's too big a leap, how about anger? Would being really pissed off feel a little better than feeling defeated and beaten down?

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by lycan

You spoke a lot about what is happening in your immediate sensory world, what your natural eyes see. What happens in your imagination?

Well, that is actually a very interesting question.

In the interest of keeping the house, I've been visualizing spring/summer 2012 here. I'm prone to insomnia, so one technique I've used is visualizing sitting out on my deck with a good friend after dinner, drinking Yellowtail Shiraz and playing word games. We've had a fair bit of spring-like weather here lately, so when I'm driving in my neighborhood I pretend it's spring and I feel happy that everything worked out so well. I love spring, so that feeling is easy to conjure up when it's spring-like outside.

I realized this week, though, that I seem to be conjuring up something else that's related more to a fantasy life than to my visualizations about real life. I have an active fantasy life, which is typical for me. In it I'm usually somebody else who I've made up. My fantasy life for several years often involved "starting over" as I was trying to get my act together. Like I would be driving home from somewhere and I'd pretend I was somebody moving to a new town and a new place and so on. I've started that again lately, I guess as a way of coping with all of this latest financial b.s.

One recent imaginary scenario was meeting a guy who just bought a mansion to renovate into a Bed & Breakfast, and getting involved with him. This, I guess, is a way of coping with my house that's falling apart and there's clutter and it needs cleaned bad. One day IRL I got home and it was cold in here but I was having a bunch of fun with my imaginary scenario and how certain rooms in the B&B are cold because of the renovation. Then within a couple days the electrical problem occurred here IRL.

It did freak me out, thinking I conjured it by fantasizing about a happy situation involving a new romance in a place under renovation!

[Moriarty]

Not sure what I/M is, but it doesnt matter.

One can focus the conscious brain, but what's hidden in the sub-conscious has a way of poking its head out at times to remind us?

Do you carry a belief that you feel powerless, have little structure, safety or security?

Whatever internal energy one holds to be true, manifests externally.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Angela

I would reach for a better feeling thought, perhaps one step up the emotional guidance scale from "defeated and beaten down." What would that be for you: a draw, maybe? Or if that's too big a leap, how about anger? Would being really pissed off feel a little better than feeling defeated and beaten down?

I was doing pretty well with gratitude, I thought. My neighbor buddy keeps saying when I'm all bummed out, "The house is still standing!" Yes, it could have been much worse. And, I'm very glad there's a second breaker box so I have a cozy living room.

But --

(Oh crap. I just thought of something.)

But -- like this morning. I woke up, the space heater's running, I switch on a light. Within 30 seconds the space heater starts losing power bad. Neighbor Buddy told me to watch for this sort of thing in case there's further wiring issues. ♥♥♥♥! It recovers. Does it again. ♥♥♥♥! I call Neighbor Buddy. He's discouraged. He caves and calls an electrician he knows who works at the electric co-op to see if the guy can come over here on a Saturday morning. The electrician says we don't have to worry -- that some substations in the area lost power and a bunch of people in the area totally lost power, which is why the electricity sort of winked on and off here a couple times.

Okay, that's good, I'm exTREMEly relieved, but by then, also drained and exhausted from the previous short tailspin of pondering moving all my stuff into storage and packing up the cat and going to live in somebody's spare bedroom.

(The 'oh crap I just thought of something' was wondering if I conjured up a situation where I would feel grateful and relieved, because that's the level I'm at.)

Really, it felt like the universe was yanking my chain. Wasn't so funny on this end.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Not sure what I/M is, but it doesnt matter.

I/M is the name of this subforum

One can focus the conscious brain, but what's hidden in the sub-conscious has a way of poking its head out at times to remind us?

Do you carry a belief that you feel powerless, have little structure, safety or security?

Whatever internal energy one holds to be true, manifests externally.

I was wondering about the 'powerless' too. When describing the problem, I've avoided saying "I lost power in the house" for that reason.

I feel powerless in regard to that stupid bank, that's for sure. And yes, I feel like there's no safety net. I mean, I have people who are my safety net, and that rocks. But it would be cool if I could provide a financial safety net for myself.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

(The 'oh crap I just thought of something' was wondering if I conjured up a situation where I would feel grateful and relieved, because that's the level I'm at.)

Sounds like how I mess up my shoe closet, just for the pleasure of organizing it again.

Well, grateful and relieved does feel good; would you like to reach for thought that has you feeling even better than that, and practice moving your default comfort zone up a little? What would feel better than grateful and relieved?

[Zenn]

Yeah, it sounds like you manifested the home situation, powerlessness and all. It seems you have been unhappy with your home situation and tried to escape it via your fatansies. Guess what, maybe things are happening to get you out of the house you really wish to get out of. The only trouble is you don't have a better place to live in yet.

If you have loved your house, appreciated, enjoyed, and feel grateful for it, it would probably be serving you well. You would have been better off to have vividly envisioned a better place to live in while staying appreciative of your current residence.

It is what it is. You have to start from what is to get what you desire. Clear your mind to start over from NOW.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

I/M is the name of this subforum



I was wondering about the 'powerless' too. When describing the problem, I've avoided saying "I lost power in the house" for that reason.

I feel powerless in regard to that stupid bank, that's for sure. And yes, I feel like there's no safety net. I mean, I have people who are my safety net, and that rocks. But it would be cool if I could provide a financial safety net for myself.

ah..sub forum..

hmm..okay..so the bank is stupid only because your unable to repay
debts you alone accrued..thats cool
As for safety net...its nice to know you have a crutch to hold you up when the going gets tough. It'd be great if we all had those. Could this knowing perhaps cause you to be a wee bit irratic about going 120% gusto to re-structure your full independance? Meaning, it could be a sub-conscious thought....like..."oh it'll be right, i have a safety net to catch me if i want to give in a little"? Do you ever think about what its like to be homeless and not knowing when your next meal will come? I have...and it gives me the drive to take responsibility for my security..as little as it is.

[Angela]

You know, in addition to choosing better feeling thoughts, I would also look boldly at how you've been at cause in creating now as it is -- what choices have you made both consciously and unconsciously that has life occurring the way it does now?

I was just thinking about my hernias, when they were first diagnosed, I was very WTF? about the whole thing? How did I create this? And when I looked for the root cause, I saw that for the entire year or so before my diagnosis, I had been springing leaks all over the place -- there were "holes" at the core of my life: my car, my apartment, my bank account all seemed to have holes in them that I left unrepaired and leaking. And going back even further, I had a hole in my relationship with Danger Man -- a "rip" that occurred that I didn't take care of right away, but hoped it would take care of itself. Right around the time when the Danger Man rip happened, that was when I had the very first tiny symptoms of what were the first of the hernias, and I didn't do anything to repair those, either.

So eventually, the "symptoms" of the holes in my life kept getting more and more dire until the learnings got through my thick skull, and I did what it took to heal those holes, a little at a time, and finally when all those other little holes were repaired, *POOF!* the money for my surgery showed up out of the blue -- completely unexpected, out of thin air. It was one of those blue feather moments.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Angela

Sounds like how I mess up my shoe closet, just for the pleasure of organizing it again.

Well, grateful and relieved does feel good; would you like to reach for thought that has you feeling even better than that, and practice moving your default comfort zone up a little? What would feel better than grateful and relieved?

Peaceful and content. I have even reached that feeling on occasion in the past few days. That seems to be my equilibrium that I try to get back to. And I can get to peaceful and content when I realize my living room actually is cozy and now my office is moved in here and that's where I'm spending a lot of my time, at the computer in the living room, and that Neighbor Buddy expects to have the kitchen up and running by Monday, and he is such a wonderful friend.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Zenn

Yeah, it sounds like you manifested the home situation, powerlessness and all. It seems you have been unhappy with your home situation and tried to escape it via your fatansies. Guess what, maybe things are happening to get you out of the house you really wish to get out of. The only trouble is you don't have a better place to live in yet.

If you have loved your house, appreciated, enjoyed, and feel grateful for it, it would probably be serving you well. You would have been better off to have vividly envisioned a better place to live in while staying appreciative of your current residence.

This isn't the case. I realized at some point a year or two ago that I wasn't appreciating and feeling grateful enough to my house and wasn't expressing the love I felt for it. I had let all that fall aside in my panic over money problems. I then consciously began telling the house I loved it, and every day doing something nice for it.

Of course, once I got on the fast track money-making machine, I got all absorbed in that and paying back all the money I owe, and taking care of the house again got sidelined.

It's like you really love your partner, but other stuff gets in the way.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Peaceful and content. I have even reached that feeling on occasion in the past few days. That seems to be my equilibrium that I try to get back to. And I can get to peaceful and content when I realize my living room actually is cozy and now my office is moved in here and that's where I'm spending a lot of my time, at the computer in the living room, and that Neighbor Buddy expects to have the kitchen up and running by Monday, and he is such a wonderful friend.

Wow. I feel good just reading this. Thank you.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

ah..sub forum..

hmm..okay..so the bank is stupid only because your unable to repay
debts you alone accrued..thats cool

The bank actually is stupid. Even our hard-headed friends in the business . . . subforum agree. I understand, however, that I created my situation.

As for safety net...its nice to know you have a crutch to hold you up when the going gets tough. It'd be great if we all had those. Could this knowing perhaps cause you to be a wee bit irratic about going 120% gusto to re-structure your full independance? Meaning, it could be a sub-conscious thought....like..."oh it'll be right, i have a safety net to catch me if i want to give in a little"? Do you ever think about what its like to be homeless and not knowing when your next meal will come? I have...and it gives me the drive to take responsibility for my security..as little as it is.

This doesn't fit the I/M or LoA lens, I don't think. Does it?

[Moriarty]

No worries

Why doesnt it? Arent you referring to law of attraction? I addressed that in my first post..re sub-conscious over-riding. What is in your sub-conscious without raising it to the surface will always demolish any conscious attempt at loa eventually.

[Zenn]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

This isn't the case. I realized at some point a year or two ago that I wasn't appreciating and feeling grateful enough to my house and wasn't expressing the love I felt for it. I had let all that fall aside in my panic over money problems. I then consciously began telling the house I loved it, and every day doing something nice for it.

Of course, once I got on the fast track money-making machine, I got all absorbed in that and paying back all the money I owe, and taking care of the house again got sidelined.

It's like you really love your partner, but other stuff gets in the way.

You may have good resaons for neglecting your partner, but still the relationship suffers and he may still want out one day regardless. Consequences are consequences, no matter the causes being excusable or not.

Like you said, you sometimes harbor the thought of handing the bank a run down house. You have to be vigilent about what you wish for, especially when you know about LOA.

But it sounds like you are handling the situation very well. So it's a good lesson and there's no telling what good it may bring. Claim and exercise your power. Delegate some of the financial issues to the Universal Manager so you have some time for pleasure and taking care of other aspects of your life.

Best wishes.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Angela

You know, in addition to choosing better feeling thoughts, I would also look boldly at how you've been at cause in creating now as it is -- what choices have you made both consciously and unconsciously that has life occurring the way it does now?

I was just thinking about my hernias, when they were first diagnosed, I was very WTF? about the whole thing? How did I create this? And when I looked for the root cause, I saw that for the entire year or so before my diagnosis, I had been springing leaks all over the place -- there were "holes" at the core of my life: my car, my apartment, my bank account all seemed to have holes in them that I left unrepaired and leaking. And going back even further, I had a hole in my relationship with Danger Man -- a "rip" that occurred that I didn't take care of right away, but hoped it would take care of itself. Right around the time when the Danger Man rip happened, that was when I had the very first tiny symptoms of what were the first of the hernias, and I didn't do anything to repair those, either.

It's interesting that you talk about leaking as signs of your underlying issue. Did you uncover the underlying issue though? Like, creating a happy life through LoA shouldn't lead to all those leaks, should it?

Anyway, it's interesting because I have had an ongoing theme my entire life with water leaking into where it doesn't belong. This started with my childhood home situated in a place where rainwater would run into the basement during storms. And it's interesting because I'm well aware that electricity is a lot like water -- it flows, with current. And essentially, with this problem, there was too much electricity going where it doesn't belong.

Oh, also this --

Originally Posted by Angela

You know, in addition to choosing better feeling thoughts, I would also look boldly at how you've been at cause in creating now as it is -- what choices have you made both consciously and unconsciously that has life occurring the way it does now?

I don't know, hon. I have thought and thought and thought so much about all this over the years and analyzed it up and down and sideways and no matter what . . . things fall apart.

[AngelPsychic444]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

I would like to look at this from an I/M or LoA lens, as that's the focus with which I have pursued my financial goals over the past few years.

My income started going steadily up about a year into this pursuit (well, not steadily, more like two steps up, one step back, two steps up, one step back, and so on, but still excellent progress). By this summer, everything was completely on track to pay back all the money I owe, which is a lot, but is a whole lot less than it was a few years ago.

Then, blam, my work supply ran out this fall. And my income got cut by about 2/3, and I have not figured out a way to boost it back up substantially.

During all this, my house is a mess. I have taken very little time to clean, and it's very cluttered, and I haven't paid much attention to stuff that needs maintenance or repair or replacing, because there hasn't been the extra money to deal with it.

In addition, sometimes things seem to "just happen." I had one of those this past week. There was maybe nearly an electrical fire connected with the washer/dryer combo, which I was not running at the time. My friend who lives closest and also has a lot of experience in home renovation rushed over. I had already shut off the circuit breaker, and he went to unplug the dryer. When he did that, there was a power surge and all the lights went stadium and I said holy crap. Then the breaker box started humming and buzzing, and he rushed over and flipped off the main switch.

Something is screwed up in the wiring that unleashed the 220 voltage from the dryer into the 110 wiring. There's another breaker box for the addition, basement and garage, so I still have electricity in part of the place.

The house also needs a new roof and now I don't have a functioning washer/dryer. And I'm out of propane, so can't run the furnace. I've got space heaters, but can only run them in the area where there's electricity! The kitchen electricity is off, so now my refrigerator is functioning as an icebox with bags of ice.

Anyways -- in an I/M or LoA lens, I have been really wondering WTF.

There is one nagging aspect to all this. I got way behind on the mortgage in 2007/2008 or thereabouts, when I got into the financial trouble. So now there's always back payments owed that I don't seem to be able to clear up. The bank (not the servicer) does not do any modifications on any mortgages whatsoever. The servicing company and I have been working on this all this time. They put me on repayment plans and I manage it for awhile but then something (like this latest debacle) screws it up. They set up a modification under the government plan a couple years ago and we did the three-month trial, but the bank wouldn't go for that either. This year, I have been getting so mad, that I had a running thought for awhile that I would just stick it to them and walk away.

It makes me wonder if, seemingly out of my control, my subconscious mind or whatever is working very hard to fulfill this mission and make sure the bank is really stuck . . . with a house that needs a new roof and doesn't have any heat and now 3/4 of it doesn't have electricity either.

I don't know where to go with this. I have felt so defeated and beaten down this week.

I'll take a shot at the electrical problems you had, since I had some heavy duty problems with my ABS computer that controls the breaks in car. The problem with my car was the wires in the electrcal system had just gone crazy and it cost me alot to get it fixed. I had sat down to ponder this whole thing, since in the past I've noticed that car problems for me very often reflect some type of inner change going on.

As it turns out, I did have alot of stuff going on with me as far as ascension changes in my body and mind, which were very hard to handle since it felt as if someone was upgrading my body electric, sure enough right after that my car problems showed up.

In light of what I just said, try to figure out if these problems seem to reflect any inner changes you're going through or perhaps some inner upgrades (DNA changes) which I think just about everyone here on the board is going through. I know this doesn't play into the LOA stuff... but I do think "high strangeness" lately in many people's lives is VERY directly related to inner changes and the new ascension energies.

Even your loss of income could be some type of massive restructuring of your outer life, in preparation for something new to come to you, which is very similar to how ascension changes take place.

I see this happeneing to many, many people these days, so what you described in your post is very "fitting" if you ask me with the current energetic climate we're going through.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Why doesnt it? Arent you referring to law of attraction? I addressed that in my first post..re sub-conscious over-riding. What is in your sub-conscious without raising it to the surface will always demolish any conscious attempt at loa eventually.

It was your comment about how someone believing everything will be all right can drive them to be erratic about creating a safety net. And the idea behind LoA seems to be that believing everything will be all right will make everything all right. Right?

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Zenn

You may have good resaons for neglecting your partner, but still the relationship suffers and he may still want out one day regardless. Consequences are consequences, no matter the causes being excusable or not.

Like you said, you sometimes harbor the thought of handing the bank a run down house. You have to be vigilent about what you wish for, especially when you know about LOA.

But it sounds like you are handling the situation very well. So it's a good lesson and there's no telling what good it may bring. Claim and exercise your power. Delegate some of the financial issues to the Universal Manager so you have some time for pleasure and taking care of other aspects of your life.

Best wishes.

Thank you, Zenn. You make excellent points. If I neglected a boyfriend (or a close friend) as much as I've neglected my house, I don't know if I'd expect them to hang around unless they were cutting me some serious slack.

And I know what you mean about my thoughts about screwing the bank, which all started because I feel like I am getting screwed by the bank. It took like a physical effort to start trying to turn that ship of thoughts around . . . I mean, one night in May I was so passionate about that whole "screw the bank" thing because they wouldn't work with me the way I want them to, that I had leaped up from the booth in a pub and started going on all passionately about the whole thing. And I began to realize that I was feeding this a whole lot of energy that could come back and bite me.

[moonrambler]

I want to mention an occurrence that shows what a big, enormous mental block I have going on. The electric episode took place very early Wednesday morning around 5 a.m. I was pretty shell-shocked all day Wednesday and I griped a lot about being cold. It was hard to heat the living room with a space heater as it's a large open area with a stairway down to the front door and open areas into the kitchen. So Neighbor Buddy got it all set up for me. (Notice how HE got it set up -- I sat in my chair and felt sorry for myself.) And then it was warm in here.

Then I started griping that it was dark in the rest of the house. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and today I've continually bitched to myself about how it's dark in the rest of the house, especially because somebody thinks daylight standard time is a good idea and now it's dark by like 5:30 p.m.. I can't do anything in the kitchen in the evening, like wash dishes. I did light some candles in there and set up the Coleman lantern so things are at least visible in there. I whined to Neighbor Buddy.

Tonight, I decided to move the dining room floor lamp into the living room for a better lighting situation. At some point I saw the heavy-duty extension cord trailing into the kitchen, where I'm using it for the microwave, and --

uh, couldn't I just set up a lamp in the kitchen?

Geez.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by AngelPsychic444

Even your loss of income could be some type of massive restructuring of your outer life, in preparation for something new to come to you, which is very similar to how ascension changes take place.

That made me feel emotional. I actually am pretty burned out with the type of freelance work I'd been doing. It would be awesome if something new and wonderful is just around the corner.

I just kept thinking, if I'm burned out, why can't some new and awesome wonderful thing happen without having all this chaos happen first?

I see this happeneing to many, many people these days, so what you described in your post is very "fitting" if you ask me with the current energetic climate we're going through.

Interesting, especially since the electric problem here involved too MUCH power rather than too little. There was so damn much power we had to shut the whole breaker box down.

[Zenn]

How did you try to work with the bank? Was your attitude adversary, with expectation of them being uncaring and greedy, etc? Did you envision a happy outcome from negotiation with the bank, with both sides being happy about it? Or simply a nice outcome of getting out of debt and the bank being satisfied, however it came about? Working yourself ragged to pay them was your limited way of solving the problem, which is far from ideal as I'm sure you are aware of.

Keep feeding positive scenarios your energy but be clear about the desired outcome, instead of all kinds of different fleeting fantasies, which diffuse the energy.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

It was your comment about how someone believing everything will be all right can drive them to be erratic about creating a safety net. And the idea behind LoA seems to be that believing everything will be all right will make everything all right. Right?

ahh...maybe its the way i explained it. Allow me to try again.

LOA only works when one has certain control of all its aspects. If anything is missed in its creating, it will only flow by your intentions....so things can be missed in the equation according to how and what our minds focus on or disregard. Its not that its intentionally done. More that the sub-conscious is working beneath the surface without our knowledge most times.

So in this example...we'll use your 'safety net' as an example. Your intention is to attract a smoother life of financial and secure independance. You start sending out those thoughts. You believe you have everything that needs to be addressed, in place and out it goes.... The subconscious thinks otherwise...its relying on the safety net to catch it if it falls, so its corrupting the loa intentions unknowingly to your conscious mind.

This is why I believe loa doesnt seem to work very well for most people. I really think its reliant upon having a clear past, no particular mind-set, no expectations, no core issues.

Sorry, is that better explained?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

It's interesting that you talk about leaking as signs of your underlying issue. Did you uncover the underlying issue though? Like, creating a happy life through LoA shouldn't lead to all those leaks, should it?

I think the underlying issue is that I was ignoring little things that could use some addressing, and those little things grew into bigger things, until finally I got the message. It's a lot easier to deal with "leaks" when they're tiny.

I don't know, hon. I have thought and thought and thought so much about all this over the years and analyzed it up and down and sideways and no matter what . . . things fall apart.

Yes, I agree, things do fall apart. The question that determines how reality occurs for you is what do you make that mean -- and how do you feel?

Is it a catastrophe and chaos, that leaves you feeling upset and out of control? Is it natural order - entropy, perhaps an opportunity to learn or practice something? There is no inherent meaning to "things fall apart" -- the meaning you make is the reality you create.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Zenn

How did you try to work with the bank? Was your attitude adversary, with expectation of them being uncaring and greedy, etc? Did you envision a happy outcome from negotiation with the bank, with both sides being happy about it?

Y'know what, for the longest time this was how I was going at it. This is an example of why I take issue with the whole "belieeeeeve" stuff. I didn't have this bad attitude about banks until all this crap went down, not just with this one, but with the other one where the checking account is, where I've had to talk myself down from using the word "evil."

I actually have felt kind of railroaded by all this, because when I first got behind on the payments, the servicing company said "Oh, we'll do a modification. We do those ALL the time. Especially now, when there's so much financial problems going on out there." This was in 2008. So, they said, do not send in any money or we will return it. Which was fine with me, because I wasn't making any money. Weeks went by. We would talk on the phone. Eventually my loan counselor said the payments would start at the end of November and they would be XYZ.

Around Thanksgiving time, right around this time of year, somebody called from the servicing company and said the house was going into foreclosure "tomorrow." I was completely shocked. Like drop down hard into the chair shocked. I kept stammering, "But . . . they said they were doing a modification! They said! They said!"

Yeah, so much for belief. So, here I sit now. I try to tell myself they actually have worked with me, because this situation has been going on since 2008 and still hasn't been resolved, and they haven't come over and thrown me out on the street.

Working yourself ragged to pay them was your limited way of solving the problem, which is far from ideal as I'm sure you are aware of.

I guess since then I've been working myself ragged to pay them.

[Zenn]

You do not have to concern yourself with whether or not the banks are evil. Your concern is getting your situation resolved. Banks may be impersonal or even evil insitutions, but you only need to deal with one right person at the right time, or maybe a convenient computer glitch. Unfortunately also that you let the bad experience with another bank get generalized and you transfer the bad feelings and image to the one you were dealing with about the mortgage.

So "the bank", really it was just a person on the phone, announced foreclosure in 2008 but the fact is nothing happened and you're still living in the house all this time. Stay in the moment and you should be enjoying and appreciating the reality and your home, instead of having your energy drained and your mind occupied by maybe the 5 minutes on the phone three years ago. The bank may be evil and they may intend badly, but the reality has been that you've had a home which shelters you and provides you with much comfort. That's a successful manifestation if you ask me. Be grateful and manifest even better situation with confidence, knowing even your half hearted intention gets manifested. Acknowledge your power and wield it!

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

ahh...maybe its the way i explained it. Allow me to try again.

LOA only works when one has certain control of all its aspects. If anything is missed in its creating, it will only flow by your intentions....so things can be missed in the equation according to how and what our minds focus on or disregard. Its not that its intentionally done. More that the sub-conscious is working beneath the surface without our knowledge most times.

So in this example...we'll use your 'safety net' as an example. Your intention is to attract a smoother life of financial and secure independance. You start sending out those thoughts. You believe you have everything that needs to be addressed, in place and out it goes.... The subconscious thinks otherwise...its relying on the safety net to catch it if it falls, so its corrupting the loa intentions unknowingly to your conscious mind.

This is why I believe loa doesnt seem to work very well for most people. I really think its reliant upon having a clear past, no particular mind-set, no expectations, no core issues.

Sorry, is that better explained?

This is where it all starts getting so complicated, and how can it work for anyone? Who's got a clear past with no particular mindset and no expectations and no core issues? Someone with complete amnesia?

So I intend for a financial safety net, and then my subconscious, believing we have the safety net, sends me out and about squandering money or tells me it's okay to take the day off, so that I don't meet my income goal. Then I don't see how I/M can even work at all without monkeywrenching stuff.

I have wondered this in the past and people find it hard to explain.

"To become financially abundant, you need to feel and act as though you're financially abundant."

"Okay. If I were financially abundant, I'd go out to the best restaurants twice a week and I'd buy a new car and I'd take a trip to Grand Cayman. Is that what you mean? 'Cause I only have like $100 and I don't know if I should go buy dinner for my partner and myself at that restaurant or what, especially 'cause the . . . electric bill . . . is overdue."

"Well . . . No . . . not exactly."

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

This is where it all starts getting so complicated, and how can it work for anyone? Who's got a clear past with no particular mindset and no expectations and no core issues? Someone with complete amnesia?

So I intend for a financial safety net, and then my subconscious, believing we have the safety net, sends me out and about squandering money or tells me it's okay to take the day off, so that I don't meet my income goal. Then I don't see how I/M can even work at all without monkeywrenching stuff.

I have wondered this in the past and people find it hard to explain.

"To become financially abundant, you need to feel and act as though you're financially abundant."

"Okay. If I were financially abundant, I'd go out to the best restaurants twice a week and I'd buy a new car and I'd take a trip to Grand Cayman. Is that what you mean? 'Cause I only have like $100 and I don't know if I should go buy dinner for my partner and myself at that restaurant or what, especially 'cause the . . . electric bill . . . is overdue."

"Well . . . No . . . not exactly."

More or less!

I mean, honestly, can you find a full list of people loa has worked for? The only people i see it creating financial abundance for are those in the market of selling it as a magic wand.

Im not saying it cant work...only that your intentions need to be perfectly clear and unflawed. You have to cross all your t's and dot all your i's. And I dont think the subconscious actually works like you say..but i get your drift. It sabotages without a particular agenda in mind. Its simply the brewing pot of the compilation of your life thus far. The subconscious doesnt necessarily send you out on a spending spree...more that its the combination of many issues that affect that particular area of your life...kinda like the wax seal on the stuffed envelope.

Actually your last bit about acting as though you have a buck, reminds me of something i saw on tv a long time ago. It was dr phil or something and was targeting the 'bimbos' of the world and how they climbed up from rags to riches. It was all about their mind-set. I was intrigued by it and it made a whole lot of sense. Their way of explaining it was to believe one was rich and knocking with the rich crowd even while not having a penny to their name, to draw that scenario into their lives. So this dame took her credit card and maxed it out buying expensive gowns, hair-do's and all the trimmings. She went about deliberately finding loop-holes to get herself rubbing shoulders with and socialising with the rich and famous. Devious, I'd call it! LOL...but it worked. She believed in it totally and hatched the egg!