[ADULT] Law of Attraction and porn...

[Haiku]

Hopefully this discussion isn't too 'risque' for this forum, if it is, I apologize. I'll be as candid as possible, without being rude.

Knowing how the LoA works off of vibration, feeling good and based on the images we hold in our minds, I have a question about how it would work with someone who views porn. Now I'm not getting into moral judgments, whether it's right or wrong, it simply is. It's something I've indulged in for quite some time. And I'm wondering if, somehow, it is hindering my manifestations, especially for those of manifesting a good relationship.

Basically, I'm wondering if seeing all these beautiful, gorgeous, naked women is somehow throwing off my vibration and getting in the way of me manifesting a serious relationship I'd like to have in my life. For me, I can say that if I were romantically involved with someone I loved, I would not be viewing porn. So, does that mean I am actually working against myself by doing something that would not be happening if I actually HAD what I want (or if I truly 'believed' I had this thing in my life)? I can't really word it any simpler than that.

I am aware that some people use sex and orgasms for manifestations, but I'm not sure that is my goal. I just find it strange I have such a hard time with manifesting good relationships when I'm a smart, good looking, fun, educated guy. It's not like I'm Quasi-modo or the Elephant Man! Hardly. So this has puzzled me for a while. So what do you think, LoA experts: Is this little habit of mine costing me from manifesting the love and connection with a great woman I so deeply desire? If it is, I can stop it, but I would like to know more about this topic and hear some input.

[Salem86]

On the other side, if you had a serious relationship, you would be sexually satisfied. If you stop watching porn, you won't be, so that may work against you as well in my opinion. I guess the best would be the middle way: instead of watching porn while pleasing yourself sexually, visualize having sex with a girl that you have a relationship with, as lively as you can. Hope this helps

[Frisky]

I believe whomever is addicted to something (whether it be drugs, porn...etc) is compensating for something thats missing in their lives.

Maybe you're lonely?? Maybe your wife isnt putting out much?? Whatever it is, if you were in a healthy relationship you wouldnt feel need to watch that crap.

My advice is:

Write down everything you feel is missing in your life (and be brutally honest).
Then use LOA to attract whats missing, and you should snap out of it

[radscorpion8]

Well I'll post what I know from Neale Walsch and Abraham Hicks.

I think its irrelevant whether you watch a lot of porn or a little, it really depends on you. This is because porn isn't inherently anti-commitment. Porn is, specifically, just the exploration and joy of sex. I'm sure there are plenty of people who passionately love their partner mentally and also have amazing sex together...so they're not mutually exclusive.

You can add on a lot of meanings to porn, but those are entirely subjective and somewhat irrational. If people believe that porn is superficial love, and that by watching it they're tainted by it and see women more superficially, then via the LOA they would likely attract more superficial relationships.

But if they feel they can have both...then they can. Most of this LOA stuff is really easy that way (in theory, according to a few sources that you may/may not trust).

Also I seriously hope sex stops being "risque" in society. The fear and shame surrounding sex, one of the most natural human functions, is something that should die out with religion.

[Sponge]

As far as I know, we're meant to do things which raise our vibration and bring us joy: that could be watching a sunrise, going to the cinema, playing with your kids, having sex or whatever. Sex/masturbation is surely something that raises your vibration so I wouldn't say watching porn could harm in Loa. Have you examined your thoughts and beliefs surrounding attracting someone? I have heard from many of my single friends (who do not know much of Loa) that when they stop looking they normally attract someone.

[Andrew Gubb]

Well in the same vein you shouldn't be eating at home because rich people would be eating at restaurants every day. Eating at restaurants every day gives you the vibration of being rich right?

Except it's on the inside, not really what's outside. I think that you should keep satisfying yourself, but maybe put less energy into the feeling that gives you as into the feeling which you wish to cultivate in your life.

Incidentally, having a girlfriend didn't stop me watching porn, not by a long shot.

[TonyToneTone]

A few things come to mind:

1. Try not watching it for a while (at least a week) and see what happens with your manifestations.

2. How do you feel before, during, after? I.E. does it raise or lower your vibe?

3. Do you know what you want in terms of a relationship?
Want a girlfriend or boyfriend? Try this.

[Drew78]

I have had a porn addiction for about ten years, and I have been single for five. I’ve tried manifesting a new boyfriend and that just didn’t seem to be working even though my other manifestations were working.

About a month ago I started consulting with a psychologist on my porn and sex addiction. I still work with him. He recommended I go to a group called Sex Addicts Anonymous, which is a 12 step program. I started going to that group, and for the last week and a half, I have not viewed any porn. I have had sex with someone that I am starting to care about that I’ve known for several months though, but we really didn’t start getting at all serious till I gave up the porn. I take it one day at a time and it’s working beautifully.

When it comes to good things happening, law of attraction, etc… let me tell you what has happened since I gave up porn less than 2 weeks ago…
• I have written 6 short stories, more than in the last year.
• I have read one and a half novels – more than in the last three years.
• I have started the beginning of a relationship.
• I’ve cleaned my apartment.
• I’ve been showing up to work on time every day.
• I’ve been calmer, meditation has come easier.
• I’ve felt more in control, more powerful, more validated.
• I’ve been working on the issues in my life that I never knew were there to begin with.
• Sex is not constantly on my mind. I am able to let it go easily when it is.
• I can still have sex and actually enjoy it. It’s satisfying without just leaving me craving more.
• I’ve been exercising more.
• I’ve been eating worse – this is the only negative impact, but I think this will go away once I’ve gotten more used to it.

It is not easy, but 12 step programs are wonderful for addiction. If you’re asking if porn keeps away relationships, my experience is yes. Is life better without it? Yes. Is it morally wrong? No. Can you think of 1 million better and more productive ways to spend your time though? Yes. There really is more to life than just getting off the next time.

If you look at porn more often than every few days, chances are you’re an addict. I believe that will affect your chances of a relationship. Seek out the guidance of a help group of your choice and a good counselor should be able to direct you to one or more that will work for you.

Drew

[Frisky]

^^^^ I didnt know Dr. Drew had a handle on this site

[meggarz]

How much is too much? Every night for an hour? Is that too much? I guess I have a problem.

[Salem86]

Well, addiction is another thing, but Haiku didn't mention addiction. Of course, addictions may be getting in the way of intention manifestation, because they usually make feel the person worse in the long term, which is then reflected in the manifested reality.

[Weaver]

Hey Haiku,

I have been thinking about this for some of my manifestations for other things. like i noticed that when i was wanting a certain top quality laptop, i would end up getting a cheap basic one and because i accepted it, i would no longer get my original choice.

With you however, you are seeking a top quality relationship, but the universe brings you porn and/or masterbation, you accept the offer and now no longer receive your original choice.

I am wondering if, to me at least, they are tests to see how much i really want something. i mean if i truly wanted a specific something then i absolutely would not settle for anything less than what i asked for. i would not settle for anything less until i finally got what i want.

Anyway, this is just an idea i had for myself, which i will now be testing.

[Haiku]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

A few things come to mind:

1. Try not watching it for a while (at least a week) and see what happens with your manifestations.

2. How do you feel before, during, after? I.E. does it raise or lower your vibe?

3. Do you know what you want in terms of a relationship?
Want a girlfriend or boyfriend? Try this.

Hi Tony,

1. I have done this before, actually. As little as last week or so, I decided to stop looking at it and even stop entirely with 'm' (you know). Not even a full week later (maybe 5 days or so), I had an experience worth mentioning here: I was out with a friend and it was his birthday. He ended up getting invited out for his birthday by a few friends, which was nice. I was about to go home, but I got asked along too, so I went. Little did I realize at the time, one of the friends of his there was a girl I had a huge crush on! I hadn't seen her in months - we're not exactly close - but still, it was a pleasant surprise, being able to eat dinner with her across from me. We had a nice time all of us and I enjoyed myself. I was in a high vibration the whole time, just having fun. The next day I think, I noticed on her facebook update, she changes her status to "Single" after having been hidden. A small point, but it was still very encouraging to see, since this was someone whom I really liked but hadn't seen in months, and all of a sudden, there she is, and we're having dinner! Nothing I could have planned either. And the status update the next day was also a nice thing to see. It kind of gave me hope! Hopefully that makes sense. This experience got me thinking, maybe I need to stop and go about my life in a different fashion...

2. I find when I do it, and almost always afterward, I feel much worse. I am conflicted, part of me likes it, another does not. I honestly think it's better I just move on, since I'm not really liking it much anymore.

3. I did read your topic and it was helpful, thanks!

[NorthSouth]

Originally Posted by Haiku

1. I have done this before, actually. As little as last week or so, I decided to stop looking at it and even stop entirely with 'm' (you know). Not even a full week later (maybe 5 days or so), I had an experience worth mentioning here: I was out with a friend and it was his birthday. He ended up getting invited out for his birthday by a few friends, which was nice. I was about to go home, but I got asked along too, so I went. Little did I realize at the time, one of the friends of his there was a girl I had a huge crush on! I hadn't seen her in months - we're not exactly close - but still, it was a pleasant surprise, being able to eat dinner with her across from me. We had a nice time all of us and I enjoyed myself. I was in a high vibration the whole time, just having fun. The next day I think, I noticed on her facebook update, she changes her status to "Single" after having been hidden. A small point, but it was still very encouraging to see, since this was someone whom I really liked but hadn't seen in months, and all of a sudden, there she is, and we're having dinner! Nothing I could have planned either. And the status update the next day was also a nice thing to see. It kind of gave me hope! Hopefully that makes sense. This experience got me thinking, maybe I need to stop and go about my life in a different fashion...

Great story! Keep up the good work...

[Abha]

Haiku, get on it, man! Advance on her, already!

I read this whole post waiting to hear, "And then I sent her a facebook message expressing how great it was to see her and ask her about next Friday...

Originally Posted by Haiku

Hi Tony,

1. I have done this before, actually. As little as last week or so, I decided to stop looking at it and even stop entirely with 'm' (you know). Not even a full week later (maybe 5 days or so), I had an experience worth mentioning here: I was out with a friend and it was his birthday. He ended up getting invited out for his birthday by a few friends, which was nice. I was about to go home, but I got asked along too, so I went. Little did I realize at the time, one of the friends of his there was a girl I had a huge crush on! I hadn't seen her in months - we're not exactly close - but still, it was a pleasant surprise, being able to eat dinner with her across from me. We had a nice time all of us and I enjoyed myself. I was in a high vibration the whole time, just having fun. The next day I think, I noticed on her facebook update, she changes her status to "Single" after having been hidden. A small point, but it was still very encouraging to see, since this was someone whom I really liked but hadn't seen in months, and all of a sudden, there she is, and we're having dinner! Nothing I could have planned either. And the status update the next day was also a nice thing to see. It kind of gave me hope! Hopefully that makes sense. This experience got me thinking, maybe I need to stop and go about my life in a different fashion...

2. I find when I do it, and almost always afterward, I feel much worse. I am conflicted, part of me likes it, another does not. I honestly think it's better I just move on, since I'm not really liking it much anymore.

3. I did read your topic and it was helpful, thanks!

[Haiku]

Originally Posted by Abha

Haiku, get on it, man! Advance on her, already!

I read this whole post waiting to hear, "And then I sent her a facebook message expressing how great it was to see her and ask her about next Friday...

I'd be beside myself if that actually happened!

No, I've tried asking people out via facebook before and never had very good results. I tend to do best in person, not on the internet. I've mostly never done well at online dating either, which is strange since I am a good looking guy who can write reasonably well. I'm guessing there is just something about me that shines through much better in person.

With this person, I know her, but probably not well enough to just send her a message and be like, "Yo, we need to go out." I honestly haven't a clue how she feels toward me, so I don't want to get my hopes up too much with her at this point. I mean, she's great, but I'd need to see her a bit more in person before I made any moves. That would be something nice to manifest, but we'll see...