Child upbringing

[JohnDoe]

Case: We have three small kids. The eldest one, now 9, was never any problem. She was easy to handle at every stage.

Challenge enters: Our beloved boys, age 5 and 3.

Now - this is something different. Nothing we did on our girl works on the boys. They scream and quarrels, and we are getting exhausted. We have tried a lot of "traditional" techniques, but nothing works good enough.

Examples: Reward for good behavior, going down to their level, learn by doing, giving them small responsibilities, establishing routines, talking calm while looking in their eyes. "Punishment" does not work either, i.e. taking things away from them, not giving them stuff they want etc.

The family is struggling. My wife just got out of hospital. The stress is bringing her down.

So.....

Law of attraction and manifestation enters.

How should I incorporate the law of attraction/manifestation best in relation to the upbringing of the kids? Should I make pictures in my mind of them being responsive, gentle, polite, following routines? If yes, how often should I do this during a day?

Rhonda Byrne states that when one gets angry in relationships, one should, as soon as possible, stop thinking about the situation/trait that initiated the anger, and instead focus on the positive things in the relationships.

I guess that I can try this more extensively on the kids? Instead of getting temporarily depressed and overwhelmed by their non responsiveness and yelling, refocus and instead focus on that I love them, and on situations where they *did* behave in a good way.

Has anyone followed this technique?

Any other tips?

[Curious cat]

Sorry i don't have any real advice to offer, but i find when my 14 month old son has his tantrums, i find it fuels his anger when i give him attention of any kind. He only simmers down when i completely ignore him and his tantrums.

When implementing a new technique, did you give it enough time to see if it works? And are all the care givers on the same page and keep things consistent so as to not confuse the children? Being a spoilt child myself, i sure knew how to exploit weaknesses ... If there was a chink in the chain, i'd be focussing my energy on that until it broke. Naughty i know but i'd employ that strategy until it stopped working, so maybe your boys could be thinking the same?

Good luck to you

[Greek Dog]

refocus and instead focus on that I love them,

This is a good idea, I also recommend that you read about and try using ho'oponopono. I could apply most of your descrriptions of your sons to my own and I am getting positive results at times. When I don't, I am aware tht I am irritated that the results are not what I wanted and I am not focused on "I love you." When I keep my focus on "I love you" everything is better.