What's In Your Armor?

[Balbrae]

It's amazing how, as positive-minded people, we can let our guard down from time to time, to become despondent or overwhelmed by the illusions of negativity. Why, just yesterday, I was consumed by an odd set of fears that gripped my mind so tightly that I was unaware of my power to choose my thoughts. That was just plain foolish of me.

Upon regaining my positive-mental outlook, I vowed to do a better job of warding off such bouts of worry. For example, it occurred to me that I allowed my armor of positivity to wear thin. For about three (3) days prior to my bout of worry, I had failed to immerse myself with affirmations and inspirational materials, as is my custom. So, by the time an inciting incident of negative proportions arose, I was prone to become consumed by doubt and fear about my self-worth in a given situation.

There is a good reason why people go out of their way to read and listen to inspirational materials every day. This reason is not necessarily to "learn" what they have already learned. Rather, this good reason is to immerse oneself in inspirational materials to maintain a high state of positive vibration. When that state of vibration falls to a lower vibration/cyles per minute, we attract thoughts and manifest outcomes of a lower vibrational order, under the LoA. We have traveled so far in our journeys, and we should take care to protect our mental outlook, as we would protect our bodies in battle. It is akin to a battle out there: a battle of positive manifestation among cacophonous and chaotic maelstroms of doubt, worry, and fear. So I ask you, what's in your armor? For me, it's visualizations, listening to inspirational audio books, and repeating affirmations throughout the day. Please share your observations on this matter.

[Scott0530]

VERY AWESOME post Balbrae!!!!! Mine is music, affirmations, movies, and stuff like this on these forums!!!

[Debo]

I agree, we have to keep doing whatever keeps our vibration a higher one, once you allow yourself to drop to a lower vibration you have much more work to do on yourself.

Personally I like the book `busting free from the money game` I like the process`s it gives you to do, and the concept of reality being an illusion, you dont take everything so serious then, well I dont

Debo

[pianoperformer]

I see what you are saying here, but it also sounds like a battle to me, like you are so afraid of the negative that you surround yourself with a shield of positivity.

The negative is here for a reason. If it comes up in your life, I don't believe you should resist it. It has come into your life because something within you is attracting it. So instead of pushing it away and pretending it doesn't exist, why not root out the source cause?

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

I see what you are saying here, but it also sounds like a battle to me, like you are so afraid of the negative that you surround yourself with a shield of positivity.

The negative is here for a reason. If it comes up in your life, I don't believe you should resist it. It has come into your life because something within you is attracting it. So instead of pushing it away and pretending it doesn't exist, why not root out the source cause?

I agree.

Wearing an armor of positivity is a common strategy among people who are fairly new to the LoA (along with faking good feelings and pretending things are great).

But armor isn't a very good means of protection. You have to constantly make sure it hasn't shifted out of place, leaving you vulnerable. To stay protected from negativity you can never take it off. And no matter how hard you try to build up your armor, you will still end up hurt, because the bullets and arrows that have the greatest power to hurt? Those all come from the inside.

So forget the armor. Learn to go naked, instead.

Rather than resist negative feelings when they come up, acknowledge them. Recognize that they have a lot of valuable things to tell you, if you'll only listen. Study them, and see what you can learn about your automatic thought patterns and how they have shaped your experience. Learn to turn them around (Abe-Hicks has a good exercise for this), shifting them into a higher frequency in a way that feels real and doesn't defy logic.

Do that, and in time you won't need the illusion of protection from negativity because it will all just pass right through you, leaving you unhurt. In fact, you might not even notice it because it doesn't provoke an automatic pain response from within you anymore.

[pianoperformer]

Love your post, MagicalRealist. It's beautiful.

That automatic response is hard to transcend, but once we can just observe the feelings coming up, then we can learn. The people who hurt us the most in life are our greatest teachers — they are our guides to self-realization because they show us where we are still hanging on to attachments.

The Work is also a great way to turn around negative feelings, if you're ready and willing to be brutally honest with yourself. It hurts, but it's great.

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

I see what you are saying here, but it also sounds like a battle to me, like you are so afraid of the negative that you surround yourself with a shield of positivity.

The negative is here for a reason. If it comes up in your life, I don't believe you should resist it. It has come into your life because something within you is attracting it. So instead of pushing it away and pretending it doesn't exist, why not root out the source cause?

For a long time I agreed with this acknowledge-negativity approach. However, I don't agree with that approach anymore. You say, "[t]he negative is here for a reason," and I would agree. It's here because my positivity was overwhelmed. I used to be an apologist for negativity, pointing out that it had its place. It does have its place: somewhere else, other than in my mind. If one were to become an expert at positive thinking, there would be no discussion of negativity. In the end, I aint buying it: we can do amazing things with our mind, and seeing the positive in everything is definitely worth aspiring to.

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

I agree.

Wearing an armor of positivity is a common strategy among people who are fairly new to the LoA (along with faking good feelings and pretending things are great).

But armor isn't a very good means of protection. You have to constantly make sure it hasn't shifted out of place, leaving you vulnerable. To stay protected from negativity you can never take it off. And no matter how hard you try to build up your armor, you will still end up hurt, because the bullets and arrows that have the greatest power to hurt? Those all come from the inside.

So forget the armor. Learn to go naked, instead.

Rather than resist negative feelings when they come up, acknowledge them. Recognize that they have a lot of valuable things to tell you, if you'll only listen. Study them, and see what you can learn about your automatic thought patterns and how they have shaped your experience. Learn to turn them around (Abe-Hicks has a good exercise for this), shifting them into a higher frequency in a way that feels real and doesn't defy logic.

Do that, and in time you won't need the illusion of protection from negativity because it will all just pass right through you, leaving you unhurt. In fact, you might not even notice it because it doesn't provoke an automatic pain response from within you anymore.

It is our responsibility to manage the thoughts in our head. I could see your point, if we had no control over our thoughts. However, we have control over our thoughts, and I choose to move heaven and earth to see the positive in all things, whenever I can. There is nothing inherently valuable in "negative" thoughts. While the same phenomenon could be viewed in two different lights, a negative light, and a positive light, we are always better off viewing things in a positive light. I am familiar with the "wheel" method to which you refer, by Abraham Hicks. That wheel method is used after the fact, when one has given in to negativity. Rather than exalt negativity (by seeing something of value in it), I choose to exalt positivity. I think that apologizing for negativity is a common strategy for those who are fairly new to LoA. Allowing one's mind to cede its airwaves to negativity, in the name of going "naked," is not a strategy I encourage. Focus on positivity--in all things.

[pianoperformer]

Balbrae,

It is about recognizing what is. Yes, we can be positive, but to repress the negative and just pretend it doesn't exist is not a way to grow. The negative can teach us, because there is a reason the negative is there.

I used to be like this. I pretended I was always positive, and denied my negative feelings. It was always a glass house ready to be broken, and often was, though I denied it.

Now I am much healthier emotionally. I recognize that it is OK if I am negative, because sometimes I just am. When I am negative, then I use that negativity as a teacher. i am negative for a reason, because something is wrong within myself.

Mostly I am positive, but if I deny my occasional negativity, then I'm denying myself an opportunity to grow.

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

Balbrae,

It is about recognizing what is. Yes, we can be positive, but to repress the negative and just pretend it doesn't exist is not a way to grow. The negative can teach us, because there is a reason the negative is there.

I used to be like this. I pretended I was always positive, and denied my negative feelings. It was always a glass house ready to be broken, and often was, though I denied it.

Now I am much healthier emotionally. I recognize that it is OK if I am negative, because sometimes I just am. When I am negative, then I use that negativity as a teacher. i am negative for a reason, because something is wrong within myself.

Mostly I am positive, but if I deny my occasional negativity, then I'm denying myself an opportunity to grow.

Piano, your argument is persuasive to many. I will give you that. Your opening statement, "[i]t is about recognizing what is" does not speak to the issue of positivity or negativity. What is, just is. However, once one recognizes that a state exists, one then judges it as good or bad. That is the point in time I address here, with my talk of positivity. Labeling something "negative" and then patting oneself on the back for "accepting negativity" is a choice. Clearly, you can see the truth of this point. I prefer to label what is "positive," in one respect or another--everything can be so labeled. I would rather pat myself on the back for seeing the good and positive in all things. Negativity is not a teacher. In the words of Seth, "the purpose of suffering is to teach you not to suffer." It is a choice to see things in a negative light. It doesn't take much effort, either. I prefer to see the positive, even if I have to "work" at it, in the beginning.

I see the positive in what you are saying, though.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Balbrae

It is our responsibility to manage the thoughts in our head. I could see your point, if we had no control over our thoughts. However, we have control over our thoughts, and I choose to move heaven and earth to see the positive in all things, whenever I can.

Of course it's my responsibility to manage my thoughts. But when I experience a negative emotion, and it automatically triggers negative thoughts, I now treat that as information. It's my subconscious mind trying to tell me something in the most direct way it can. So when that happens, I stop, recognize what is happening, unpack what that negativity is really trying to tell me, and then figure out what to do with it so it doesn't keep getting in my way.

So rather than think, "Oh, that's a negative emotion, and I don't feel good and it's triggering bad thoughts! I can't let that happen! I'm going to go immerse myself in positivity until it goes away!" I think, "Okay, what's going on here? What is this emotion trying to tell me? What do I need to do to keep it from coming back?" And most of the time, it's telling me something I really need to know or pay attention to.

So yes, I allow myself to recognize when I'm having negative thoughts and emotions. I don't resist them (lest they persist). I allow myself to experience them and to connect with them, so that I might learn something about myself. And then I use what I've learned to clean up whatever was at the root of those negative thoughts and feelings.

If someone says something insulting to me, and I feel hurt and offended, and my brain starts running away with all kinds of angry thoughts, it has nothing to do with what they actually said. After all, if I didn't believe the insult on some deep level, it wouldn't have any power to hurt me--it would just be noise. So that hurt and anger are information, telling me that I still have an underlying belief that the insult is true.

Experiencing the feelings, and letting all the negative thoughts connected to them rise to the surface unimpeded, is an incredibly effective way to exorcise them. Most of the thoughts that come up are things I never consciously admitted to myself, but they've been rustling around in the shadows of my mind all along. While in the shadows, they're big and scary and powerful--but once I drag them into the light? They're usually puny, half-formed, and kind of ridiculous. Once I can see that, they lose all their power. Sometimes I can laugh at them, and once I laugh, they're dead. I can then create a new thought pattern to replace it (which is where affirmations come in handy) and go back to feeling good again. Mischief managed.

But if I don't allow it all to surface so I can consciously examine it? It will keep popping up, it will continue to have power, and no amount of "LA LA LA I'm ignoring you! Only positivity allowed!" will change that.

And yes, I sometimes do catch myself having negative thoughts for seemingly trivial reasons. And my approach to them is to say to myself, "Well, look at that! How interesting! What rock did that crawl out from under?" For example, I remember getting stuck in stop-and-go rush-hour traffic last year, and getting annoyed. My stress levels rose, I was thinking uncharitable thoughts about fellow motorists, and my mood was going downhill fast.

But I realized what I was doing, stopped, and decided to look at what my annoyance was telling me. I got deep into it, and started saying out loud all the negative junk that popped into my head. Some of it was really stupid, so I started laughing at it, and before long I was fine again. Sure, I was sitting on the freeway with thousands of other people, but everything was cool.

What my annoyance was about was the idea that I actually had to be somewhere within a specific amount of time, and that if I wasn't, that was a bad thing. I had an expectation that it would take 15 minutes to get home, and was clinging to that expectation. I was also dogged by the idea that I never had enough time, that time was short, and I had to make the best possible use of it--and sitting on I-5 wasn't it.

That same clinging to expectations, and that same hectoring inner voice that I would never have enough time, had long been the source of other negative thoughts and emotions. So I spent my time dragging them into the light, killing them, and replacing them with new thought patterns (because chanting affirmations behind the wheel is a great use of time stuck in traffic).

I started out feeling annoyed and anxious, dove into it, explored it fully, reclaimed my power from it, then re-wrote that slice of reality. Long before I got home, I was feeling great again. And to this day, if I start to feel pressed for time or hindered in my progress, I can just remind myself that "Time is always on my side," and "I always have enough time," and *poof* the feelings are gone.

And on top of all that, negative thoughts and emotions are often a great indicator that I've gone off-course in some crucial way. If I'm working toward a goal, then start to feel resistance, dreading the next step? That's telling me that I need to do something different. I'm not attuned to the natural flow that will get me where I want to go; in Abe-Hicks terms, I'm paddling upstream. Maybe I've mistaken someone else's goals or methods or purpose as my own. So I correct my course, get back in the flow, and the negativity vanishes.

While the same phenomenon could be viewed in two different lights, a negative light, and a positive light, we are always better off viewing things in a positive light.

Oh, I agree. But rather than viewing negative thoughts and emotions negatively, I prefer to view them positively--as helpful information about any limited thinking, counterintentions, or deviations from my purpose I might be experiencing.

Rather than exalt negativity (by seeing something of value in it), I choose to exalt positivity. I think that apologizing for negativity is a common strategy for those who are fairly new to LoA. Allowing one's mind to cede its airwaves to negativity, in the name of going "naked," is not a strategy I encourage. Focus on positivity--in all things.

I'm not "exalting" negativity. I'm not apologizing for it. I cede nothing to it. It is not my state of being. I can accept its occasional appearances without hating, rejecting, or resisting it, or beating up on myself for failing to police my thoughts properly. I listen to what it's trying to tell me. I allow it to be useful. I'm not afraid of it.

Which is probably why my naked self doesn't feel she has to "defend" herself against the wrong kinds of thoughts, or be prepared to fight any "battles." There is no enemy, after all.

[pianoperformer]

Balbrae,

Yes, what is, is, and it is not good or bad; yoga re right in that. However, unless you are further along than I am, sometimes your mind automatically labels things as "bad" or "undesirable."

Here is a dramatic example: If you or someone you know is raped, do you automatically see it as a positive thing? My guess is probably not. Even if you find the positive in it later on, the negative probably goes unaddressed. The positive is just a bandaid for what you really feel about it.

Now if you take that negative and allow it to teach you where you need to grow, that is using the negative for a constructive purpose. This is what I am saying.

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

So rather than think, "Oh, that's a negative emotion, and I don't feel good and it's triggering bad thoughts! I can't let that happen! I'm going to go immerse myself in positivity until it goes away!" I think, "Okay, what's going on here? What is this emotion trying to tell me? What do I need to do to keep it from coming back?" And most of the time, it's telling me something I really need to know or pay attention to.

Here, we simply disagree. Why ask "what's going on here?" Is the "emotion" really trying to "tell you" anything? How about the emotion trying to tell you, "stop feeling me!"

And then I use what I've learned to clean up whatever was at the root of those negative thoughts and feelings.

Let me give you an example of why this is futile for me. Let's say that, if unchecked emotions had their way, Person A would annoy the hell out of me, to no end. Let's say that Person A is envious, threatened, and spiteful toward me. For a very long time, I tried to "Buddha" the situation--tried to "feel" every variation of the bad feeling I felt whenever we had to be near each other. It dawned on me one day, that, just when I thought I had "uncovered" a deep emotion that I had not uncovered before, such that uncovering it "would set me free," I discovered the next day, that more bad feelings would ooze to the surface when around her. They always did, no matter how much "release" I gave to such feelings. Simply put, there was NO END to the suckdom I encountered! Now, you might claim that I simply had not gone deep enough, but I could have dug to China and still not hit bottom. The point is that this "pin-the-acknowledgment-on-the-emotional-release-donkey" game did not serve my greater good. The person could still choose to be the way she was, and there was no resolution. The only relief I found in the situation was shift my focus away from her and away from my feelings toward her. Then she became small-very small--so small I don't even notice her any more. That is REAL power: the power to channel my mind to a constructive end.

If someone says something insulting to me, and I feel hurt and offended, and my brain starts running away with all kinds of angry thoughts, it has nothing to do with what they actually said. After all, if I didn't believe the insult on some deep level, it wouldn't have any power to hurt me--it would just be noise. So that hurt and anger are information, telling me that I still have an underlying belief that the insult is true.

For me, that logic does not work. Here is why. Insulting thoughts can only hurt if one takes them to heart. That's what insulting thoughts aim to do: insult. No amount of emotional cleansing will change the truth of that matter. However, they cannot harm one, if they are not taken to heart, which is accomplished by ignoring them. Why let them in...see if they hurt...then say, "owie"...I learned something deep about myself...then release them? That is not an act of self-love, but of victimization. Besides, one can always "learn" things about oneself and their "deep" beliefs and emotions without experiencing negativity. For example, under your theory, someone calls me a coward, and I register its truth, am grateful, and effect change instantly by focusing on courage. I can do these things without amplifying the negativity of my cowardliness. But sometimes, name-calling has nothing to do with me, and has everything to do with the name-caller. Let me give you an example. Let's say that a bigot calls a person of a minority-ethnic ancestry a racial slur. Do you really think that all the emotional processing in the world will change the fact that a bigot used the slur in a hateful way? Why should the "victim" purge him or herself of the negative feelings triggered by the slur before moving on with his or her life? Instead, the "victim" should simply ignore the slur, without deep emotional processing, which is not warranted.

Experiencing the feelings, and letting all the negative thoughts connected to them rise to the surface unimpeded, is an incredibly effective way to exorcise them. Most of the thoughts that come up are things I never consciously admitted to myself, but they've been rustling around in the shadows of my mind all along. While in the shadows, they're big and scary and powerful--but once I drag them into the light? They're usually puny, half-formed, and kind of ridiculous. Once I can see that, they lose all their power. Sometimes I can laugh at them, and once I laugh, they're dead. I can then create a new thought pattern to replace it (which is where affirmations come in handy) and go back to feeling good again. Mischief managed.

While this sounds quite believable and useful, I must admit this approach has seldom worked for me, in the real world. Here is why. Negative thoughts that "rise to the surface" do not become annihilated by the fact of their rising. They rise and rise and rise again. How many times must they rise before they never rise again? There is no fixed number. People make themselves sick with worry and emotional trauma trying to "release" them time and time again, and it is completely unnecessary.

But if I don't allow it all to surface so I can consciously examine it? It will keep popping up, it will continue to have power, and no amount of "LA LA LA I'm ignoring you! Only positivity allowed!" will change that.

Why in the world would anyone want to consciously examine surfacing crap? That's why they call it crap--because it's undesirable! And no matter how well you succeed in examining crap, it will continue to surface in your life, if you focus on it, under the LoA. Actually, I like your phrase! "La La I'm Ignoring You! Only positivity allowed." However, that phrase belies truly ignoring something because you can't ignore something while telling it you are ignoring it. The way to ignore it is to ignore it--to think of something else. Soon, it has no power over you--it becomes the incredible shrinking thing. According to Abraham, there are no "brakes" to the LoA--there is only a gas pedal, and thinking "no" to something doesn't work. Only thinking "yes" to something else works. It reminds me of bumper cars with no brakes; the best strategy is to try to zoom in a different direction. That is the point I am trying to make here.

And yes, I sometimes do catch myself having negative thoughts for seemingly trivial reasons. And my approach to them is to say to myself, "Well, look at that! How interesting! What rock did that crawl out from under?" For example, I remember getting stuck in stop-and-go rush-hour traffic last year, and getting annoyed. My stress levels rose, I was thinking uncharitable thoughts about fellow motorists, and my mood was going downhill fast.

But I realized what I was doing, stopped, and decided to look at what my annoyance was telling me. I got deep into it, and started saying out loud all the negative junk that popped into my head. Some of it was really stupid, so I started laughing at it, and before long I was fine again. Sure, I was sitting on the freeway with thousands of other people, but everything was cool.

That was YOU on the freeway? I wondered why you were talking to yourself. Just kidding. But I'll bet you prolonged your misery by about 4-1/2 minutes dwelling on it. I'm glad you brought up traffic. That is one area I am really good at shifting my focus to something else, and I NEVER experience road rage.

And on top of all that, negative thoughts and emotions are often a great indicator that I've gone off-course in some crucial way. If I'm working toward a goal, then start to feel resistance, dreading the next step? That's telling me that I need to do something different. I'm not attuned to the natural flow that will get me where I want to go; in Abe-Hicks terms, I'm paddling upstream. Maybe I've mistaken someone else's goals or methods or purpose as my own. So I correct my course, get back in the flow, and the negativity vanishes.

Of all your points, this one has the most merit. That is, by ignoring one's preferences, and by "forcing" oneself to do something against one's preferences one does not serve one's higher interests. In response, I would say that there are other ways to attune to such emotional feedback. For example, the most ideal setting to deal with such intuitive feedback is in a meditative state or other careful setting, where runaway thoughts cannot run rampant.

Which is probably why my naked self doesn't feel she has to "defend" herself against the wrong kinds of thoughts, or be prepared to fight any "battles." There is no enemy, after all.

Whether you acknowledge it or not, your entire post was a defense of your position, as was mine. However, I don't have a problem with people defending their positions--it is a way of affirming their beliefs, unless they are persuaded to the contrary. I have no expectation of persuading you of my opinion, and I can accept that we have our differences. Therefore, I am simply affirming my beliefs, as you are yours. Thanks for the lively debate!

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

Balbrae,

Yes, what is, is, and it is not good or bad; yoga re right in that. However, unless you are further along than I am, sometimes your mind automatically labels things as "bad" or "undesirable."

Here is a dramatic example: If you or someone you know is raped, do you automatically see it as a positive thing? My guess is probably not. Even if you find the positive in it later on, the negative probably goes unaddressed. The positive is just a bandaid for what you really feel about it.

Now if you take that negative and allow it to teach you where you need to grow, that is using the negative for a constructive purpose. This is what I am saying.

PianoPerformer, you bring up the pesky subject of manners. It is not appropriate for one to respond to a rape victim with statements such as "well, under the LoA, technically, you drew yourself to that situation" or "in the grand scheme of things, you chose to be raped to balance out a situation of the past (or future, "time" being simultaneous)" or "you chose your rape to experience it, so that you could learn from it..." and on and on and on.

The discussion I am having here is of a general nature, and clashes with good manners when pressed at the edges. So, even though I believe my beliefs are consistent with horrific happenings, I would never expect one to look on the bright side of rape, murder, violence, etc. More importantly, I would never open my mouth to someone in such a situation. Sometimes, manners are more important than truth.

[pianoperformer]

Originally Posted by Balbrae

PianoPerformer, you bring up the pesky subject of manners. It is not appropriate for one to respond to a rape victim with statements such as "well, under the LoA, technically, you drew yourself to that situation" or "in the grand scheme of things, you chose to be raped to balance out a situation of the past (or future, "time" being simultaneous)" or "you chose your rape to experience it, so that you could learn from it..." and on and on and on.

The discussion I am having here is of a general nature, and clashes with good manners when pressed at the edges. So, even though I believe my beliefs are consistent with horrific happenings, I would never expect one to look on the bright side of rape, murder, violence, etc. More importantly, I would never open my mouth to someone in such a situation. Sometimes, manners are more important than truth.

Manners are important, but that's not what I'm talking about in this discussion. Let us press beyond that concern.

If you undergo a traumatic experience like that, you have three options:

1. You can completely succumb to the negative emotions, blame yourself, pity yourself, etc
2. You can pretend it is OK, it doesn't bother you, or even see something positive (e.g., "it just makes me stronger")
3. You can examine the beliefs that it brings up in you, and why you hold those. Not to blame yourself for it happening, but to accept 100% responsibility for that being in your life. If you have responsibility, you can change it, and the negative doesn't have to be negative anymore. Not because you covered it over by pretending to be positive, or focusing on something else while repressing your true feelings, but because you transmuted the negative and replaced it with Love.

These are your choices in every situation that bothers you.

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

Manners are important, but that's not what I'm talking about in this discussion. Let us press beyond that concern.

If you undergo a traumatic experience like that, you have three options:

1. You can completely succumb to the negative emotions, blame yourself, pity yourself, etc
2. You can pretend it is OK, it doesn't bother you, or even see something positive (e.g., "it just makes me stronger")
3. You can examine the beliefs that it brings up in you, and why you hold those. Not to blame yourself for it happening, but to accept 100% responsibility for that being in your life. If you have responsibility, you can change it, and the negative doesn't have to be negative anymore. Not because you covered it over by pretending to be positive, or focusing on something else while repressing your true feelings, but because you transmuted the negative and replaced it with Love.

These are your choices in every situation that bothers you.

I choose Door No. 2. In my life I can think of two distinct episodes or sequences of episodes that others might choose to call traumatic. I ignored them, found positivity in my strength to ignore them, and they don't bother me in the least. I don't need to analyze crap when I see it--it's just crap, not worthy of deep mulling.

I have found, that ignoring them is the most "forgiving" thing to do. I release all hostility and anger by obliterating the significance of such events. By ignoring them, I am saying, "Hey, you know what? They're really just not that relevant in my life, and they have no power over me." What good does all the "therapy" in the world do--to examine how I felt from every perspective of the so-called "victimization"? What happened to me was a load of crap by people who were full of crap.

In the scheme of our 10,000+ lives (reincarnation), how significant could those events really have been? Not very. I doubt I am repressing anything because I make them "so small" in relevance as to disappear completely. And just so that you don't think I am making light of anything here, one situation involved a suicide and another involved years of bullying. I could go on and on and on and on and feel all the "negativity" of it, but it's really just not that important in my life. I made it unimportant. That is a very healthy thing to do. What is there to analyze? That I don't like abandonment or bullying? Big deal. No one does. I end abandonment by creating abundance with positive thought. I end bullying by creating abundance of safety. It's a solid approach.

[newkaren]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

Manners are important, but that's not what I'm talking about in this discussion. Let us press beyond that concern.

If you undergo a traumatic experience like that, you have three options:

1. You can completely succumb to the negative emotions, blame yourself, pity yourself, etc
2. You can pretend it is OK, it doesn't bother you, or even see something positive (e.g., "it just makes me stronger")
3. You can examine the beliefs that it brings up in you, and why you hold those. Not to blame yourself for it happening, but to accept 100% responsibility for that being in your life. If you have responsibility, you can change it, and the negative doesn't have to be negative anymore. Not because you covered it over by pretending to be positive, or focusing on something else while repressing your true feelings, but because you transmuted the negative and replaced it with Love.

These are your choices in every situation that bothers you.

I've seen people who choose #1 and they get stuck there.

Interesting thead.

[pianoperformer]

Originally Posted by newkaren

I've seen people who choose #1 and they get stuck there.

Interesting thead.

Yes, in my experience, #1 generally leads to years of blaming, victimhood, etc. #2 generally leads to repression and stagnation, even if everything seems to be fine for a while. #3 generally leads to transformation and transmutation, and a true healing of past hurts.

[msmanifest]

Originally Posted by Balbrae

It's amazing how, as positive-minded people, we can let our guard down from time to time, to become despondent or overwhelmed by the illusions of negativity. Why, just yesterday, I was consumed by an odd set of fears that gripped my mind so tightly that I was unaware of my power to choose my thoughts. That was just plain foolish of me.

Just be aware that you have created this thought. Smile and shift your focus to a positive thought.
You are the master and you can choose any thoughts.
Take a few deep breaths and choose a pleasant version of your thought.

[Balbrae]

Originally Posted by msmanifest

Just be aware that you have created this thought. Smile and shift your focus to a positive thought.
You are the master and you can choose any thoughts.
Take a few deep breaths and choose a pleasant version of your thought.

Bingo!