Loa help- how do I change focus?

[Sponge]

Hi all, I currently have a live-in nanny and she isn't as good as my last one, she is a little lazy and a bit cheeky. But she's young and she's not that bad. I just seem to have little tolerance. Although in speaking to friends who have had nannies/aupairs, sometimes I feel I'm too nice. However, I can not help but focus on all her faults and am convinced I am attracting more of it. I have started to complain to my friends and I can't bring myself to be nice this morning which is ridiculous as she isn't that bad at all and it is escalating. The reason I am writing this is because, I can see a pattern of negativity towards others in my life and I just can't seem to change it. I know that what you focus on you attract. I'll read a book (abe/tolle etc) and feel better for a few days/weeks then not notice results (i.e new/better people coming into my life) and go back to my old ways. I feel like my nanny is here to teach me something. I know, the reach for a better feeling technique, gratitude, be in the present..but none of it seems to stick. It's making me unhappy. I feel that I cause myself unecessary pain. I am frustrated that I am still obviously stuck in my old pattern creating what I don't want (the nanny just an example) and unable to move forward or manifest what I desire. So I guesd my question is: where am I going wrong with all this Loa/IM stuff and how can I make the changes I understand are necessary but seem out of my control? Thanks