What are the lessons to be learned?

[tfahkry]

One of the most frustrating things that i face in my current life is understanding what lesson i am supposed to learn from something occuring. I ask myself questions constantly in the hope that my subconscious mind will draw an answer, to no avail and often i repeat the same mistake. What's that saying: "life's a great teacher, since it brings you the experience before the lesson"

Current example. Ex girlfriend and i have been broken up for over several months now and occassionally have cause to work together through the week. Since she broke up with me, i find it difficult to conduct myself at work in her presence as i feel that she is always there. Whenever i am out, i run into her. When i have to do a course for work, she's always booked in the same course by coincidence more than anything. I'd like to feel that i am moving on, but find that there is a constant reminder of her in my life.

I don't seem to be able to see the lesson. I want to, so i can take action and move on. I don't hate her, but i do try and avoid her especially when she's at the same party (we both have mutual friends). I feel i have a low vibration around her, for she still attempts to make me jealous and draw attention to herself.

Any helpful suggestions?

[Mayo]

When she tries to get attention just ignore her, if something annoys you just ignore it.

For example if neighbors in other house are too loud i just put the headphones on and put some smooth music at almost all the volume and i get into my movie... i detach from current reality and concentrate on my reality.

BTW if she still attracts you subconsciously you should know that there are ton's of women like her, even better..

You should know also that we are all interchangable, there is not one "soul-mate", there are cca. 3-6 thousand potential "soul mates" on this world that match you almost perfectly!!!

[Betrade]

It seems to me that the lesson is not to date your co workers.

I've done it myself; more than once, When things are good, it's great, but when they go bad, at least one, or even both parties feel awkward at work. If one has been badly hurt emotianally, it often winds up that one person seeks employment elsewhere.

[Jenny]

Yeah, dating people you work with never works out too swell. Guess that's one huge lesson for you there. Sometimes it is a matter of repeating a life lesson over and over (often with the ouch factor escalating) before the lesson sticks. Oh, and in my experience the more I need to learn the lesson the more quickly I am drawn right back into it and the worse the pain each time...

Good luck.

[SamBeaven]

Presumably you're seeing less of her now than when you were dating, so using a little creative observation you can look at it like you're seeing less and less of her, and are, in fact, moving on.

The feeling that you're not moving on is likely creating the reality in which you're not moving on.

[Smokefish]

Originally Posted by tfahkry

One of the most frustrating things that i face in my current life is understanding what lesson i am supposed to learn from something occuring. I ask myself questions constantly in the hope that my subconscious mind will draw an answer, to no avail and often i repeat the same mistake. What's that saying: "life's a great teacher, since it brings you the experience before the lesson"

I've dealt with this problem myself. I've had experiences that seemed to keep repeating themselves in my life. Like you, I realized that if I didn't figure out what the lesson was I was going to keep repeating it. I think you have started by asking yourself the questions. What helped for me was to ask the question and then write down whatever came to mind as an answer. It is surprising sometimes what you will come up with. This is only the beginning though. It is definitely a process that you have to work through. It is definitely worth the time and effort though, not only to stop repeating the same experiences that weren't pleasant the first time, but also the insight you gain will help with your future lessons and dealing with life in general.

Initially, it took me years and going through the same experience multiple times before I would figure it out. It gets easier as you go on though. I haven't had a repeat lesson in years. You'll know you have the answer when you are at peace (on every level) with the problem/situation/experience. When you can honestly feel grateful for the experience for what you have gained from it and not feel resentful because so and so did xyz.

I hope this helps!

[tfahkry]

thank you all for the rather informative answers...i especially like the one about having thousands of potential soul mates out there...in hindsight i guess my lesson is as my good friend pointed out..."don't fish off the company warf!"...i used to work in another industry and had a rather physical, unpleasant intimate relationship with...it ended in disaster and i moved to another line of work altogether...so i'm not planning on dating co-workers anymore thank you very much.

it's somewhat weird though since i never pursued my ex-girlfriend...it seemed to just happen and whenever i avoided her, the universe just seemed to bring us together everytime until finally we started dating...she had come from overseas and now living here for the next four years on a work visa, so i guess she was caught up in the whole romance of being in a new place...we dated just shy of a year...i guess i probably have some feelings for her still...she makes some silly choices sometime...i do send her my love through my thoughts and wish her well always...i love where i am in my life as a result of being with her too...i was her first love incidentally