Manifesting my new reality

[danas]

I am going through a transformational time.
I am letting people who are not inspiring for my goal fade out of my life.
I realized I sometimes hold on to people because I dont want to alone. Especially because Ive only lived where I am a short time and dont know that many people..
This means spending a lot of time alone. Going out alone.
Last night I went to a BBQ where I knew only the host and had a great evening. Meeting 3 new people.
Last week I did the same. Im totally out of my comfort zone bc Im used to being surrounded by friends...
So thats one step Im taking. Also deactivated my fb account. it was taking too much time and filling my mind with nonsense.
I intend to meet new people every day!

I looked at my vision board and I noticed theres a lot beaches and sea. Like couples on the beach etc...
But I live in NYC! Far from a beach life.
Yesterday I found myself wanting to photograph something in a part of town that was apparently struck by the hurricane. So I took the subway and found myself on a beautiful deserted beach! I sat on a rock and meditated a while. I woman sitting on a rock on a beach is actually an image on my vision board. So was this particular type of beach that I was at. I had no idea that this was where the subway would take me, I hadn't been there before.
But it was a wonderful day.
The universe can manifest that as easily as it can manifest the loving couple image.
I will update here on how things transform in my life.
Interesting dream last night:
I dreamt my toilet was full of other peoples stuff. I thought it would be blocked but then I flushed it and it all flushed away...

[danas]

Well, this was a very interesting day!

It amazing how things start to manifest once you put your full energy to it!
I didnt mention in my previous post that the main thing I wish to manifest is a relationship. And also more success in my career.
But today I decided to focus on the relationship part. As its too easy for me to focus on career. My default was to go see a show related to my career, but I decided I wanted to focus move on the relationship.

What actions I took:
After a great yoga class I asked what would I need if my man were to arrive today into my life. I realized I have only one night stand. I needed 2 identical ones. So I started wondering around the shops near the class. I finally bought 2 night stands (delivered tomorrow). 2 identical towels, I also bought some pots and pans and some glasses, being a raw foodist I dont own any pans because I dont cook!
but I thought for my man itll be nice to cook because I sense he wont be a raw foodist...
Then I walked by a thirft store which was having a crazy sale and I bought a pair of beautiful real crystal champagne glasses for me and man to celebrate with (for 3 bucks each!)

What I manifested:
4 hot single men totally randomly asked me out!

I walked into a furniture store and the seller was a guy I recently met at a party!
He had friended me on FB, but I told him I now had deactivated my account.
So he took my email and already asked me out this weekend!
Then another guy from OKC wrote and asked me out for lunch on Sunday, This is a guy I was looking at, and was hoping to hear from him. Very handsome and in the same line of work as me...

Then another totally cool guy from OKC whom I chatted with also asked me out! He asked if I would be up for meeting tonight. I think I saw his message too late though
And also a guy I met last night at the bbq wrote and asked if Id like to meet up...
Oh and another guy I recently met sent me a text asking if I wanna meet. im not interested in him though so it doesnt count.

I havent been on a "date" in ages! months! a year maybe...

[danas]

Last night I focused on my intention for a committed relationship.

I realized that it could just happen! And some blocks come up.

All the last relationships I was in, if you want to call them that, were full of mutual passion and emotion, but deep in my heart I knew it couldnt work. These men were clearly not available for the kind of relationship I wanted.

So I worked through it, and I realized that I have to let go of these fantasy men. And all the future fantasy men, which are so tempting....

Last night I went beyond the fantasy and saw how these men dont deserve any more of my time or my thoughts. And I let them go.
This is a process Ive been working on for a while but I feel like I had a break though last night.
Also, to a guy who asked me out last night, and has asked me out several times, I simply replied :I had a nice to with you but Im not interested.
Simple and clear. Why beat around the bush?

So Im making more room...
Heres a summary of 2 days

Vision board
Taking small symbolic actions (like I bought 2 night stands,2 idntical towels, and crystal glasses yesterday)
Journaling and meditating.
Facing blocks and dealing with them
Letting go of the people who dont inspire me, dont raise my vibe or simply dont share my vision.
I have a girl friend who is looking for a mate, but she thinks men are a lesser race. She said "men are brutal and dishonest" as a gender, look at all the prisons she said, a lot more men there. Ive decided to let her go too. We were close lately and I realized being around her doesnt raise my vibe

[danas]

If yesterday I was mostly alone, today was about interacting with people, going out of my way for them.
Including a couple who happened to ring my buzzer and claimed they will be living in my apt when I leave town for a few months, so they wanted to introduce themselves.
The landlord set it up so I wont need to pay rent when I leave town for a project.
We had a lot in common, we even practice the same spiritual work. They were a good example of the kind of relationship I want to be in.
I like the idea that this loving couple will be taking over my space for a few months.

Now Im listening to a podcast of a panel of women describing how they finally found love, women who seem to have the same patterns as me.
Inspiring.

Oh and another thing I practiced today was setting boundaries.
One person I met today was a friend from out of town. He needed my help in finding a place to stay. He didnt have a place to stay and hinted on wanting to stay with me. Even though I have an extra room I didnt feel comfortable sharing my space with a guy who I didnt know that well and seemed a bit needy.
The guilty voice in my mind was constantly telling me to invite him. But I didnt give in to his hints, and instead helped hm find a hotel he can afford and he's sleeping there tonight!
Setting boundaries is something I am learning and is very important to me, and to manifesting my new reality

[Laylaa]

Hey

Your post really stuck with me because i'm basically doing the exact same thing right now!
I am also going through a process of fading out people who bring down my vibe. So i know the feeling of having to spend time alone. But i have faith that better people will come into my life shortly.
I just deactivated my facebook acount last week because i found myself wasting too much time on there and it really wasn't added anything to my life. Instead i've turned my focus to visualizing/meditating, things that are better me!
The things you are trying to manifest are also the same as me! better friendships, relationship, success ... Its nice to know there is someone out there trying to do the same.
Good luck and keep up the good work! I'll be interested to see how everything goes!

Cheers, Laylaa

[danas]

Originally Posted by Laylaa

Hey

Your post really stuck with me because i'm basically doing the exact same thing right now!
I am also going through a process of fading out people who bring down my vibe. So i know the feeling of having to spend time alone. But i have faith that better people will come into my life shortly.
I just deactivated my facebook acount last week because i found myself wasting too much time on there and it really wasn't added anything to my life. Instead i've turned my focus to visualizing/meditating, things that are better me!
The things you are trying to manifest are also the same as me! better friendships, relationship, success ... Its nice to know there is someone out there trying to do the same.
Good luck and keep up the good work! I'll be interested to see how everything goes!

Cheers, Laylaa

Thanks Laylaa! nice name. Welcome aboard! This ship is sailing to our dreams

[dubstepgirl]

I am so enjoying your thread Danas! Please keep it up, its a real help

[danas]

Originally Posted by dubstepgirl

I am so enjoying your thread Danas! Please keep it up, its a real help

Thank you! Im glad someone is reading this ! I think that sharing this publicly is really helping my manifestations!

Last night I realized that all the work emails that are being sent to me are bouncing back and my website was gone since 3 days!! Problem is the web host I work with are in another country and were on holiday! (I forgot to pay for the yearly renewal)
Plus my hard drive with all my work from 10 years was dead and being repaired but I still hadnt heard back.
I felt like my whole identity was being erased, So yes at first I got pissed off and panicked.

But then I sat down took a pen and paper and wrote that tomorrow I wake up to a new reality where my website and email is back and my hard drive data is saved!
As I wrote I felt it to be true.

I woke up and this is exactly what happened!

The server company wrote that as an exception they are giving me back my site until they come back from holiday in a few days.
And soon after I got a call that all my data from my HD has been retrieved!

Im writing all these technical details here because this was clearly LOA at work! Not to accept bad luck- just change it immediately to the reality I want.
Writing down the reality I want in present tense, feeling it for a few moments and thank you and let go.
Im just too tired of getting stressed out these days. Whats there to panic about?
Everything is just fine and all my dreams are manifesting. If I dont like the direction things are going i can change it right away

[danas]

Yesterday I spent the day with a guy I recently met on one of my solo ventures.
Even though I knew Im not interested in him romantically, for various reasons (hes a lot younger, totally broke and doesnt know what hes doing with his life), it was still very fun! I love it that this guy is manipulation free. It was an honor to spend the day with such a sweet, honest and funny man. I love it that we were so respectful of each-other. It really lifted my spirits, which had been a bit down...
Why down?
I think 2 reasons:

1)Two days ago a man I was dating a few years ago called that hes in my hood. We met when I was living in another country and we were in an LDR for a while and I nearly moved across the world to marry him, but then he dumped me...And thank god for that!
5 years later he's totally lifeless and depressed, he lives a loveless life full of unresolved pain. Back then he didnt like it that I was such a dreamer. I thought he would help me become "normal". And yeah, maybe the life he lives is "normal". No miracles happen. I have miracles everyday.
So having lunch with him made me depressed too! . Two hours of his energy was enough to put me down for the rest of the day.

2)I didnt want to admit it but...
My most recent ex came back to town and we met, (see 09-09-2011, 04:19 PM)
He was away for a month and this gave me time to heal. But since he's been back, he's been texting every so often and so have I.
Yesterday he called and today I called him back.
He was just on his way to sit in a bar.
After we hung up I started crying. This guy made me cry so much in our relationship too. And even just talking to him made me cry in a totally irrational way.
Then while he was in the bar he sent me pics of him through his phone, and texted and called.
Finally I picked up. I told him that I still have feelings for him and best if we wont be in touch for now.
He said he understood. And that was that.
Im happy I just did that!
This month I cleared out from my life all the manipulative relationships, or just ones that made me feel bad.
Being in touch with him would be a step back.
I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my back. wow!

[danas]

Last night I went to dinner with the married guy (see 09-15-2011, 03:11 AM )
who I had a crazy crush on (and he did have a crush on me too- but his ended before mine )
We havent seen eachother since, he wanted to meet as friends, so I thought I could handle it. And I could. It was nice. Nothing amazing. Didnt feel any special connection to him anymore. Even felt like he took more energy from me than gave... Thats good I guess. Anything I ever felt for him (and boy did I feel!!) totally dissolved.
So, no feelings there.
And the last guy I was with I asked not to contact me anymore 2 days ago. So today I felt like wow- I have no one to even daydream about.
And my immediate thought was to go back on OKC and fill that gap. But no. For the next week Im staying empty. A cleanse. Not looking for any immediate fulfillment. In a week there are some special events for me spiritually. So its a good preparation.

I also want to eliminate any other instant gratifications I look to. For a week. For a week Im not filling my desire for love and comfort and approval with any quick fix

Meditating and studying and having certainty that the universe will provide.
This also gives me a chance to look at neediness. All I need I can find in the light, in my higher self. I do not need external fulfillment (it doesnt contradict wanting to be in a relationship)

Things have been moving forward in my career. I met a famous man in my field today. He came over and we did a "show and tell". I met him a few weeks ago at a talk I went to alone...At first I was so keen to meet him I mailed him several times, his replies were flaky. But only when I totally let go, did he start contacting me and actually came over
We may work together. Glad to have attracted this man. His seriousness and commitment about his career almost legitimized my seriousness.
And he does think big! He wants to change the world (physically!!)

I also proposed a big solo project to an institute, they were interested...
So I feel like Im entering whole new territory. Thank goodness! Lately Ive had a lot of insecurities about my work, but now I see how its all coming together and becoming meaningful!

[danas]

I feel a lot of excitement on the career front. Ive been connecting and doors are opening. Doors that were shut when I last knocked...

I have been intending so hard lately for a break though and it seems like Im entering new terrain. Even just the people I hang out with. Last night I went to dinner with 20 people. (totally by chance ended up there) and I think I was the only one without a wikipedia entry.
Being around the world's top people in my field is exciting. It all started because besides the fact that I do a lot, Ive been going out (often alone) and speaking to people. Thats what makes this city (NYC) so exciting. You never know who you're mingling with...
Ive had fear of success and I think Im getting over it. Im more confident, not afraid to speak my opinion and speak up for what I do.

Its interesting that some growth seems to be happening in my career. despite the fact that Ive been making no work for 2 months now. besides thinking & reading and meeting people. Ive totally chilled out in this area (after working hard for months) So sometimes when you totally let go, and stop "doing" things start falling into place.
Besides that one of the guys yesterday called me over to tell me that Im hot and he'd totally "do" me. Which, lets admit, is always nice to hear (although it put me off him completely). Like I wrote yesterday, not filling the empty with any temporary pleasures this week. Going cold turkey is not so easy, but possible.