Manifesting my new reality

[danas]

Things look different today.
Last night I sent him a message -"Wish you were joining me" (bc today I leave the country)
He replied something sweet, but thats when it really hit me that I do have a lot of healing to do. That was a needy message.

@seahorse- Maybe bc of the way you write, like you know it all, and know me, I had resistance to what you wrote
But I think you really did pick up on something deep in me.
I do not want to believe that I need to fully heal before I can be in a relationship, because who knows how long that will take. But I will start.
Where to start?
Just acknowledging this is a start I guess....

Because as far as using LOA I showed here that I can manifest whatever I can vision. When I started this thread I was living in NYC with a vision board full of seaside "couple in love" images.
And a few months later I manifest the great guy who had all the qualities I wrote down. All while living by the sea. Also lots of big steps happened in my career. I dont write about that here, but it happened.
I am very visual, so whatever I see I can create.
But how can I really make it last?
For that I need to look deeper. Look at my pain too.
I dont even know if I can change.
I enjoy so much abundance in the other areas of my life, that if this area is still stuck that means theres something way deeper.
You were right Seahorse.

You know its funny. About 5 years ago I was in Turkey and a friend did a coffee reading. She gave me the most abstract reading ever. But I remember her saying "Look for the seahorse, it will guide you" Since then Ive been looking for seahorse images. haha. Maybe you are the guide. I definately feel like you guided me in the right direction.

I do believe in subjective reality. So its no wonder the forums are closing. I have gone as far as I can with "manifesting my new reality"
But now theres inner work to do. Which maybe I do not need to share publicly....

[ikeism727]

First off, I want to give you props on your courage to take this journey and to share with others, very inspiring!

Secondly, I noticed you said you live in the NYC area (as do I), and I wanted to recommend two people who have been of TREMENDOUS help to me on my path of healing/growth. The first is a gentleman by the name of Jorge Barrieu who has a center in midtown by the name of Sophianic Healing. This guy helped me through probably one of the WORST of my times by helping me clear up blockages. My visit to him preceded by two months another journey I took out of the country for a lot more healing. His site is Sophianic Healing - Home

Another person I would like to recommend is a woman by the name of Monica P. Hall who runs Conduit of Healing. Her site is: Conduit of Healing She's been an intuitive and has been a great mentor to me and also helped me with a lot of growth/healing. She's very honest, straight to the point, sharp but ALWAYS loving. You can read more about her sessions on her site.

Lastly, this year has been truly a tremendous year for me with A LOT of growth where I was able to manifest a trip to Miami for one month this past summer to pursue my modeling career (all glory to God) when a year ago I had NO idea how to make that happen. I've also manifested an awesome woman in my life. As this year draws to a close, I've been thinking how to manifest prosperity for myself this coming year (as I've been able to see this year how ANYTHING is possible if you believe and are willing to step out on faith) and wanted to know how you were able to do it for your life. You seem to have the financial area of your life pretty much together and I desire the same for my life. This has been the one area where I've had challenged that I'm DETERMINED to have a breakthrough with this upcoming year.

I've been waiting for that inspirational nudge of what I want to create financially this year (the same "nudge" that told me to go to Miami) and I feel that I'm being led towards creating $100,000. How were you able to attract such financial abundance into your life!

Wishing you continued blessings...

[Seahorse]

Hi Danas,

Nice you've come around... that you don't take 'offense' at my suggestions...anymore...

Just for clarification's sake: I don't want to 'save' you. That's you thinking I'm investing more into you than I ought to (or whatever). I don't. I just see a lot more and also, where the weak spots are... Not in a sort of 'brash' fashion, just an awareness I have that those that have never worked with the more intuitive, psychic side of themselves, just have no access to. Not because it's not available to them, but because they don't consider that part of the 'LoA' work...or their spiritual path and growth.

Psychic attachments keep you from letting go - they keep you from truly freeing yourself from the past in a way that actually truly allows you to have strong, sound relationships that are no longer 'influenced' on an unconscious level. It can be someone in the family or it can be a romantic encounter or a combination.

I'm glad you recognised that just because you create all that other great stuff around you, you still go right back into the same pattern and 'mode of behaviour' (desperate, needy, clinging) as soon as something looks half-way 'ok' to you .

And, just because you think you've done 'great' work with other people - the bottom line is you're still creating half-'ok' situations for you in terms of 're-actionary' patterns in relationships. I'm not 'dismissing' your therapists, but as the saying goes: 'the proof is in the pudding', or if you like, your 'manifestations'.

And, you're kidding yourself if you believe that you don't need to be fully healed to be in a happy relationship. I told you already, you have a tendency to BS yourself. When it comes to the real, deep stuff, it's "visionary" all right...if more illusory than in a strong sense of centredness.

You may feel I'm being 'hard' on you but it does get the better of you (your self-delusion) and the only way you can truly tackle this is by shootin' straight from the hip - at your own bollocks D'you know what I mean?

Oh, and just for your information: I don't care what you do. I told you you'll have to live with the consequences of your own resistance...

We all do...

The shamanic path has more to offer than mere healing...but you'll only understand that once you've begun to walk down that path... It's a good thing you met a proper shaman. I've primarily worked with South American indigenous shamans... They have an over 10,000 year old tradition and it helped me more than anything else I've ever done. Including all my other healing work or techniques.

Let me know if you would like some 'pointers' and just drop me a pm. I sense you're in Europe somewhere (or in the vicinity anyway). So am I. Things will fall into place for you one way or the other....

Good tidings.

[danas]

Moved again.
I open the window and the sea is there. But its a different sea. No longer stormy and grey, but bright blue and sunny....Im in another country. In a 5 star hotel, in a nice suite. Buffet breakfasts, even the car I rented was upgraded.... I was invited to stay here for a few weeks.
Im not sure anymore if this is my own manifesting, or my angel's. Ive always felt like I have angels watching over me, wanting the best for me. Im always pleasantly surprised....

Got a nice massage today. Saw the sun set. Spent time with loved ones. Im unwinding. Also letting go. The student was the closest thing to the kind of man I wanna be with. Yes, I love him. But also not feeling so attached to any outcome. If he wants I'm ready to give it a chance, If never contacts me again thats OK too. Maybe Im scared to be with someone so many years younger. All I know is that he has to want it enough too.... He has to be brave enough too.

I wonder what he would think of the luxury Im in now. He doesnt know this side of my life. he knew me living with a roomate in a small flat taking the bus or riding my bike... my double life....Weird.

Im moving on and focused on the final outcome I desire.
I deserve it, I just need some days now to unwind and chill out and not think about or plan anything.
I know I will get there. I know. I know I am already there, long before Im fully healed. I suspect Ill need a few lifetimes to be fully healed. And Ive never met a single soul who was...
Except seahorse? but the rest of the people, yes, even the ones in amazing relationships are still growing changing and learning. Not saying its easy...

I actually suspect that if you are fully healed you dont come down to play with the mortals, you are just guide or something.

Anyway. Im going to sleep now.

[danas]

Looking at my PMs I see I keep getting asked the same request. How did I manifest abundance.
The truth is Ive written about this on these forums already if you search my posts.

I realize that theres something in me thats uncomfortable about writing about money. It feel like its just not classy and seems tasteless.
I dont mind if others write about themselves, I just feel uncomfortable about it. I dont know why.

Also in my AFK life most people have no idea about my financial situation. I hide it.

In short I can say that I received gifts, other people won law suits, and bc they did I won too (without even paying for a lawyer). and then I invested wisely and multiplied it.

But before all that happened, back when I didnt have much, (just a few years ago), I gave all my savings away to charity, just to see it come back multiplied. I did this as I started my spiritual path and wanted to test the notion of having certainty, and letting go, and oneness.
In other words LOA to see if it worked. It did
So yeah, money has come into my life without much effort.
Someone online I never met paid for my MA tuition too. And so many other stuff....
My focus has never been money. I live just like I did when I was a poor student, passionately making my art and not really noticing if Im in a 5 star hotel suite or sharing an apartment with a roomate.

Its great that I dont need to think twice about buying certain things, but most of time when I do want to buy something, someone else is waiting to pay for it for me. I fly all around the world, but usually its all paid for by something related to my art.
I do love money though.
Its just a really nice feeling to have it, and it makes life easier, but its still very important to me to make money from my art. To sell it, to apply for grants bc thats how I know its monetary value.

So... last post!
I feel good. Im in a 'let go' start of mind. I believe in miracles.

Thank you all for your support. I really think it helped a lot to write here. Ive learned so much, mostly about myself, since starting this post. I feel calm.
I feel like that big empty space is not so empty anymore.

I dont know why but I feel so so loved and full of confidence.
The love I shared with the student gave more than it took.

Earlier this year i wrote a thread "love=pain why?"
Now, it doesnt feel like that anymore....
love=more love.

[Seahorse]

So Danas, you're basically telling us that you're living off other people's money, aren't you?

Sucking it off....and expecting others to pay for you - even if unconsciously...

A financial parasite.

Some strange 'angels' you got there... Ah the mind never ceases to have us buy our own little fabricated 'fairy-tales'...

No wonder you feel uncomfortable talking about your 'ability' to manifest... chuckle...

You created your single-person charity with you as the receiver....

Ha, ha, ha, ha...! brilliant! That's better than winning the lottery but boy you certainly have no shame in sucking off other people's financial tit!

Embarrassing... I wouldn't boast about as half as much as you do...

You have to grow up girl and make your own money properly (and I mean creating abundance from you as the creator - not from other people!), pay for your own bill for a 5 star hotel yourself.

That's the grown-up way.

What your account is telling us is a five year old living off the stupidity of other people's "generosity". What a sucker for your own BS you are... ha, ha, ha...

If you'd really be as successful as you claim to be you wouldn't have time to write here. I don't believe that you are such a fantastic artist - what with your tendency to exaggerate. Obviously not successful enough to pay for everything yourself.

The internet is a great place for shysters of all 'colour'.

It's so obvious but nobody has caught on to your BS.

I think you make up a lot of your little stories. Something about your account doesn't add up - acting like a teenager with a 10 year younger chap but living off other people... No wonder you didn't want to stay with him - you need somebody to pay for you and him being broke... (A profiteuse, as they refer to people of your ilk, in France. Or some other word here that I prefer not to use...those that have a keen mind will know what I'm getting at.)

Never mind your infatuation.

Those who believe every word you say ... oh yeah, right... it's X-mas...

The spelling here 'X'-mas is deliberate.

People better wake up to your BS.

[danas]

@Seahorse

Someone's angry here...?

jealous?

No need to be. You can have it too. But I sense you have many limiting beliefs with money as you let out so much anger in your post...

I just use LOA and the universe provides. I have no problem with this.
Although you seem to, so I guess you will just have to work hard for your money....

I doubled my money because I made smart real estate investments.

Since I was a little girl selling lemonade I had a good business sense. Always did. Whatever I receive, I invest and multiply.

A parasite? Not quite. Most would call me a workaholic. Sometimes working 15 hours a day (I usually come here while my computer is doing a big task in another program)
I LOVE my work. I don't even know what a vacation is because I love to work.

Even if I had just earned money from my art, it would've been a pretty nice living. My art is 100% non commercial. Its totally personal and I make no compromises, its controversial, yet still people pay thousands of dollars for each work.
No, I wouldn't have enough to buy the real estate with it without a morgage, thats true, but who cares? Not me....

Just this weekend there was an article in the paper about my art sales.

Im successful in the sense that I can make make a living doing something I love. Im not as successful as I wanna be, but my ambitions are very very high. I will achieve them one day though.

Just now when I was living in the small European town, it was the government that paid for everything, because they found value in my work and wanted me to create a work in their city.
From flights to apartment, to a nice salary, while I was there I was invited to another city for another show, who again invited me and put me up in a nice hotel....
The foreign ministry is who pays for my most my flights , because they value my work and see me as an important ambassador.


Its really interesting. I think you are not the only one with this kind of reaction. People grow up with limiting beliefs such as "Money doesn't grow on trees" (it does!)
"Money comes from hard labor" (Ok if thats want you wanna believe that'll be your reality!).... etc
And here I am showing you its not. And you get so angry- because in your your view its wrong for someone to just have money and have fun.



I do not grow up in a wealthy family

But it just so happens that i have money now.

Just as an example Im now in a hotel, I was invited here, to stay in the cheapest rate, but for no reason they upgraded me to a huge suite. Same with the car I rented. Why? Dont know. Thats just the way it is.
I remember just after watching The Secret for the first time I flew to a film festival, my film won a prize and I was upgraded to first class on the flight home. The flight was totally unrelated to the film festival, but its just about the frequency you're on....


Even though I have money I still apply for grants and get them, because its important for my career to be a grant receiver.


Seahorse what I really love about our interaction is that you make me happy with the place Im at,
even though you seem to aim for the opposite effect.

Just writing all this makes me feel really appreciative of all my achievements, I thought I had some guilt with money (because 90% of my friends dont have much), but writing this I realize I don't anymore. I'm proud.

Sometimes I tend to look at the what I have yet to achieve rather than what I already have. But You challenge me to look at the place I'm at and as i write this Im very happy.

Also in terms of relationships, at first you challenged me into thinking something was so wrong with me, that until I don't get fixed I will never have what I want. Now i know Im just fine the way I am with all my imperfections. I make mistakes, and I learn.
In fact last night a man I was with the past, called and we met as friends, he expressed a desire to have a family with me (!). I dont think he was completely kidding as he mentioned it a few times and even said imagine our kid is in the back seat as were driving now.
But I've moved on since being with him, and I do not feel anything romantic anymore (despite dedicating two threads to him in the past)
But all I know is that he is reflecting how I feel now. Desirable.

You don't believe things I write because you don't believe in the miraculous life you could have, if you let go of the thought that to achieve anything in life you need "sweat 'n blood" to use your expression, you might open the door to some miracles yourself! , and that my friend is what I wish for you for the new year. A miraculous life!

To let go of your anger and limiting thoughts and start to believe


By the way, thats a huge compliment. Telling me that what I write is too good to be true. So that you dont believe me. Sometimes my standards are so high I dont even realize how lucky I am.

[Seahorse]

Originally Posted by danas

@Seahorse

Someone's angry here...?

jealous?

No. I don't believe you. I think you boast too much. I've lived in Hollywood and I've met people like you - plentiful.

You like to 'sell' your self. I told you from the start I think you talk too much about stuff that's way too personal. You strip yourself from credibility by overdoing it.

Originally Posted by danas

No need to be. You can have it too. But I sense you have many limiting beliefs with money as you let out so much anger in your post...

Wouldn't you just love that? Me being angry? What bull...

You project, dear.

Originally Posted by danas

I just use LOA and the universe provides. I have no problem with this. Although you seem to, so I guess you will just have to work hard for your money....

You're guessing wrong. You see?

Originally Posted by danas

Just this weekend there was an article in the paper about my art sales.

Link? Come on, you can do it... You've nothing to hide - not anyway according to your soul-striptease here...

Originally Posted by danas

I'm successful in the sense that I can make make a living doing something I love. Im not as successful as I wanna be, but my ambitions are very very high. I will achieve them one day though.

The next Andy Wharhol, are you?

Originally Posted by danas

Just now when I was living in the small European town, it was the government that paid for everything, because they found value in my work and wanted me to create a work in their city.

Where?

Originally Posted by danas

From flights to apartment, to a nice salary, while I was there I was invited to another city for another show, who again invited me and put me up in a nice hotel....The foreign ministry is who pays for my most my flights , because they value my work and see me as an important ambassador.

Ha, ha, ha....you're showing off again. Pathetic...

Originally Posted by danas

"Money comes from hard labor" (Ok if thats want you wanna believe that'll be your reality!).... etc

You're assuming you know my beliefs when you don't have a bloody clue.

Originally Posted by danas

And here I am showing you its not. And you get so angry- because in your your view its wrong for someone to just have money and have fun.

That reply is so dumb it just shows how limited your perception of me is... Never mind...

Originally Posted by danas

I do not share this with others because of two things:
1. I apply for grants and get them, because its important for my career to be a grant receiver.

2.Most my friends don't have money, its just doesn't interest me enough, so most the people I attract in my life are artists like me, who often don't have, so I don't feel the need to talk about it with anyone, the subject rarely comes up, and the truth is its not on my mind so much either as you can tell from this whole thread.

Yeah, we know where your focus was....getting laid.... Well, at least it was good, right?

Originally Posted by danas

3. Its not simple. And I don't wanna go into so much details, bc Im that honest, I feel I cant just tell half the details, and that would be to many details to write online and to share with anyone.

Well you don't have any problems spilling your beans on the very most personal stuff, so what's your problem all of a sudden? I wouldn't dream of writing as much about my very personal experiences on a forum of this nature. That's just OTT. And way more information than I care to read about anyone.

It's off-putting.

Originally Posted by danas

Seahorse what I really love about our interaction is that you make me happy with the place Im at.

Good for you! I still don't take you seriously though. I think you're full of bull.

Originally Posted by danas

Just writing all this makes me feel really appreciative of all my achievements, I thought I had some guilt with money (because 90% of my friends dont have much), but writing this I realize I don't anymore. I'm proud.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. You talk too much. For real. Never mind you trying to 'sell' us your "dreams come true" stories.

I like the real stuff. People that have truly created miracles. For themselves and their family. There is one lady who did. Cynthia something - I can't remember her surname but she manifested $112 million and that was while she raising her brother's 4 children (her brother died in a car crash) - on her own.

J.K. Rowling is another woman that was seriously struggling and who lived off social security before she manifested her dream: the Harry Potter series.

I just love Cynthia's energy. And she's absolutely real. No BS. No 'hard sell'. And talk about manifesting 'easy money'. So your beliefs about me are completely off.

Originally Posted by danas

You don't believe things I write because you don't believe in the miraculous life you could have, if you let go of the thought that to achieve anything in life you need "sweat 'n blood" to use your expression, you might open the door to some miracles yourself! , and that my friend is what I wish for you for the new year. A miraculous life!
To let go of your anger and limiting thoughts and start to believe

Your reply is boring me stiff. Just in case you're wondering I didn't even finish reading it because it's so obviously off track. I've created my own miracles already but you'd need to pull your big head out of your own cloud for you to even find out about that. Not that you're interested, I know. The only person you're interested in is 'danas'....

Originally Posted by danas

By the way, thats a huge compliment. Telling me that what I write is too good to be true. So that you dont believe me. Sometimes my standards are so high I dont even realize how lucky I am.

You just want attention.

That's why you're stripping your soul and your metaphorical body here. It's embarrassing - like I said. A five year old who needs and craves attention and tries to make everybody believe she's bigger and better and more (whatever) than she really is.

A sucker for your own ego.

You should go to Hollywood. You'd fit right in with that crowd. Get your own reality-tv show - that'll 'pump' you up even more. Make some serious moolah! (who said I am limiting in my belief system?) and have a camera follow your every step, your flights, hotels and grants-funded lifestyle.

No, I don't envy you. I think it's embarrassing to have to write about your very personal stuff here on a forum, stripping naked metaphorically (how degrading is that? I mean really!) trying to prove to yourself that your life is better than it may be in reality.

That's why a reality-tv show would be perfect for you.

I love it if other people are truly successful. There are some truly amazing people out there but they don't sound off the way you do. And they're real.

Life isn't meant to be a struggle. But it also has to be rooted in something real - not some phantasy on a forum (big mouth and no substance.)

But it's how you portray your success that makes all the difference. You boast way too much for my liking to take you seriously and actually believe anything you say and come up smelling roses.

I don't care what you're telling me - I feel you to be shallow - skin deep - and not very mature for a 38 year old woman.

The very fact that you assumed I wanted to 'save ' you just betrays your enormous ego. I couldn't care less if you are 'saved'.

We have to save ourselves. There's no-one who'll do it for us. That's the bottom line.

And, me thinks you can't accept the fact that someone challenges your 'rose-tinted', bloated view of yourself pushing you to look at your own BS.

[danas]

You are a funny one.

The reason I write so much here about my personal life is because its anonymous. Im actually very private in my real life, so here its a place I can release the most personal stuff. Its a huge relief for me, I write here things I dont speak to close friends with. Because I find a lot of great feedback usually, and even just reading my own stuff is helpful.
So especially after writing so much personal stuff, I wish to stay anonymous thanks.


I didnt even post that article on my FB page bc even though they did a whole interview with me, in the end all that was published about me was about the sales, and a photo. Info they got from who represents me.

To me it seems more weird to get so worked up about someone elses thread.
Maybe you you need to get laid?

Anyway. The forum is about to close. so long...

[Seahorse]

Originally Posted by danas

To me it seems more weird to get so worked up about someone elses thread.

Girl, you're taking yourself way too seriously. I don't get 'worked up' over someone else's thread. I just don't like BS of your kind. Ego-inflated self-importance coming off as 'private'. Yeah right...

Must be your little angels whispering in your ear...

Get off your high horse and get real.

FB is crap, so, I don't care what you put there.

Everybody who's got half a brain knows that.

Yeah, so long, you 'artist'...

Thanks but no thanks.

Like I said, you ought to go to Hollywood. It's full of BS-'artists' that like you, believe their own hype.

[Seahorse]

Last but not least, if you can't talk to your 'friends' about this kind of stuff (that you had an urge to divulge here in more detail than necessary just so you get some 'great feedback'?) than what kind of 'friends' do you actually really have?

To me it's another give-away that you're not nearly as cool or 'great' and 'fantastic' as you claim to be. If you don't have friends you can talk to about this kind of stuff or you can't talk about this with them, you're a sad person indeed.

So much for your 'friends', huh? Wake up to your own BS. It's about bloody time.

[dreamland]

Wow, what just happend here?
I liked a lot your posts Seahorse, you made me think about my limiting beliefs a lot, but this is just too much.
I don't understand why you attacked danas like that, it makes me really sad, because, even if she did make everything up she didn't deserve your harsh words.
Compassion is sth you should learn...

Anyway, I didn't post on this thread but I read your story danas from the begining and I think you are telling the truth.
I liked what you write, I see it as some kind of journal...

And I understand that is much easier to speak on the internet about some problems, than in real life...
I found great comfort here, I hope you did it too...