Being positive doesn't seem to work but the opposite works

[loapatti]

Originally Posted by Reefs

Letting go, allowing, surrender are all synonymous. It has to happen by it's own in the sense that you are not the doer, you are not doing it, it just happens. No one trying to do anything or trying to get anywhere anymore.

But if you are actively trying to let go, allow or surrender, then it's not different from trying to bang everything into place. It's a tactic. It's someone trying to get somewhere by doing or not doing something. It's like doing the non-doing, practicing wu wei etc.

Detach?

[Reefs]

Originally Posted by loapatti

Detach?

Still the same. It's not about the word actually. It's about how it is used.

You could say: "you have to detach" - that's a doing suggestion. It suggests that there is something you can actively do to get where/what you want.

You could also say: "detaching has to happen" - that's not a doing suggestion. It suggests that there is nothing you can actively do to get where/what you want. It's beyond your sphere of influence. Something has to happen with you, it's nothing you can make happen.

[Reefs]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

do you want a mercedes in order to be happy?

But only for a day or two. Then my standards will be so high that only a Maserati will do. And then, after a couple of days, my new standards.... well, you see, I just wanted to get happy, and now I have my backyard full of useless cars!

Better not get into that getting happy business again.

[Sponge]

I'd be over the moon with all the 'bling' 'bling'! Maybe we still have to find happiness inside, but if I could be rich at the same time as trying to find it, that'd be a bonus.
Feeling down:lets go on holiday for a while because we can
Feeling down: let's go for a drive in our slr convertible
Feeling down: let's go shopping!!!

These things could give you temporary relief of feeling down, so are no different to any suggestions to just change the way you feel. Which also can only offer temporary relief if it is not our natural state and that old annoying habbit of 'noticing reality' keeps happening!

[evandangie]

Originally Posted by Reefs

But if you are actively trying to let go, allow or surrender, then it's not different from trying to bang everything into place. It's a tactic. It's someone trying to get somewhere by doing or not doing something. It's like doing the non-doing, practicing wu wei etc.

This is EXACTLY what I've been thinking about lately- all the trying and forcing I seem to be doing all the time with LOA and it doesn't work because I'm not allowing, I'm trying to mind-f it into being. Totally not the way any of it works. So, onto surrendering. Forcing surrender is the exact opposite of what it actually is. Brilliant. Thank you