On changing one's focus

[Inner Domination]

I think sometimes we try too hard to "control" our thoughts and focus. I am finding that if i can just catch myself when I am in a negative thought and then just reach for a little bit of a better thought or even just a small distraction, I can slowly move myself into a better vibration and gradually I feel better. Small steps is the way to go.

[sunshineXTC]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

My attention is very diluted now. I let myself get distracted, I don't have good focus on whatever I'm doing, and negative thoughts "creep in" and sometimes I feel like I can't change my focus. I'm getting MUCH better at this though. I still have times when an unpleasant thought comes in and sticks, but I'm able to shift out of it more easily now.

Meditation might be an excellent tool to help you regain your ability focus. Silva's method might be the perfect venture into it if you've never meditated. I've found that meditation helps me shift my energy from resistant to allowing as well as quieting the mind and sharpening my focus and awareness in general.

[Cochonette]

I have noticed something. There is nothing like mad anxiety/fear to push one to focus on a problem/task at hand. These are also often inefficient ways to do it, but also they're not how I want to live my life. Anyway, I find it easy to get complacent. But I have to remember that complacency, too, is that fear I feel when the impending doom seems distant and incomprehensible. That complacency leads to laziness. It doesn't necessarily feel like fear because the dreaded thing is far in the back of the mind, while you are focusing on distracting things and fleeting joys. But complacency always leads back to your fear, it builds and builds, and subsides back into complacency... the place you go when you can push the dreaded thing away, imagine it's not there.

So I am focusing on challenging complacency itself.

[Criseyde]

I stopped meditating again. I am going to start back.

Now, a story about the power of attention:

I love looking at license plates. One that I always wanted to see was Alaska. I live in the eastern US. In nearly 22 years of life, I had never seen an Alaska license plate.

A few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to see license plates from all over the US. I have seen lots of cool ones that I'd never seen before: two from Montana, two from North Dakota, a few from Utah!, Nevada, Nebraska...

But here is the thing. ALASKA.

I have seen NINE Alaska license plates in the past three weeks. Two today. Two two days ago. The more I pay attention to Alaska license plates, think about Alaska license plates, and tell people that I've been seeing Alaska license plates, the more I see.

After the first two, I started paying attention to the cars to see if I'm just seeing repeats... I'm not. And I've seen so many that I am actually starting to recognize the styles.

Zero in 21.96 years. Nine in THREE WEEKS.

My family is benefiting too; they've seen 4 of the 9.

[Criseyde]

Meta-focus

Focusing on focus has been really enlightening for me so far. I think that if I continue merely focusing on where my focus is and what it's doing, I am going to get stuck in a boring loop where nothing new happens, but to this point it has taught me a lot.

I would wonder in the past why I could get some things to work so well, and other things didn't work at all. The answer is very obvious now. I really am getting back exactly what I'm putting out. If you're confused about why your life is going the way it is, I really recommend doing this: taking a couple weeks to consciously notice your focus and what you're doing with it.

Actual shtuff

I saw another Alaska license plate, but I feel bored with Alaska now. Yesterday, I decided I wanted to see more from Montana. I was also kind of worried about how I'm going to do all the things I want to do, because they seem discrete and hard to pull together. But I consoled myself by telling myself that other people have done it, so why not me?

And then, guess what I saw earlier today? A car with a Montana plate on the front and a Nebraska plate on the back. (That's gotta be illegal...) Well, if they can drive around like that, I can too.

This license plate stuff may seem small and silly, but for me, it's motivation to keep working on my inner experience (and it helps quiet the inner doubt). If I can manifest these bizarre license plate sightings so easily, I should be able to scale up.

I'm going to spend the weekend clarifying my goals, to come up with a focusing direction.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have seen NINE Alaska license plates in the past three weeks. Two today. Two two days ago. The more I pay attention to Alaska license plates, think about Alaska license plates, and tell people that I've been seeing Alaska license plates, the more I see.

That's awesome. Especially because we know it's statistically unlikely to see Alaska plates down here.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

That's awesome. Especially because we know it's statistically unlikely to see Alaska plates down here.

I'm up to 11 now. Saw one more after my last post this afternoon.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Sometimes I'll be so lost in my thoughts
that I'll miss my bus/train stop. Once I got on the bus,
closed my eyes to think, and when I opened them again,
I didn't recognize the bloody neighborhood. 'Where am I? '

lol I decided ages ago Living from Beautiful ... thoughts is THE way to go... and
yes! I Anchor, Stack, & Trigger them repeatedly...

[LisaDreams]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

This license plate stuff may seem small and silly, but for me, it's motivation to keep working on my inner experience (and it helps quiet the inner doubt).

It's not small or silly to me!! I had a similar experience once and it made me realize how abundance was already in my life. How everything I wanted was already around me. Whenever I get really clear about what I want, I see it. It's already right there. It also quieted the part of my mind that wondered if things were possible. To use your example, I no longer had to believe that a bunch of people from Alaska would have to drive to my state before I would see the plates, and that I would have to give them time to get here so that I could see them. The revelation that they are already here and that it is my clear desire to see them that is showing me where to look brought me a new clarity of focus. Suddenly the magical element of being able to "manifest" what I want immediately or very soon made perfect sense. Everything is already here.

My experience also made me more sensitive to inner timing and helped me to become more patient. Since everything is already here, I don't have to "hurry" things once I get the clarity to ensure things will work out. I can not only trust they will, but not be concerned with the timing. For example, I found out today that something I realized I wanted (last week) has worked out even better than I imagined it. I became clear late last week that I really wanted this, but felt it was best not to say anything to the person that would need to do it. My sense was it was best to wait and not to ask for it. Today, I found out he's not only doing something even better than I wanted, but that he wants to do it. He thinks it's the best option. I am by nature a very impatient person, so learning to abide my intuition regarding timing was significant for me and just one of the many lessons my similar experience gave me.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I'm going to spend the weekend clarifying my goals, to come up with a focusing direction.

I love this!! Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to your continued journey.

Lisa

[Criseyde]

Clarity

It didn't take me long to get clear on my clarity problem. () Right now, there are three things that I really want more than anything else. I don't want to go into detail on the first thing publicly. The second thing that I want is to be financially independent and live on my own. That sounds like a lot when I write it like that, but all I actually need is a job that pays a reasonable salary. The third thing is that I want to move away from where I live now, to a different area of the country.

These three things that I want are linked together. I realized today that I could have the first one just by saying "yes" to something -- an offer that was already made. It would honestly be that easy. So I already have the first thing that I want. I'm just not allowing it into my experience. (Thank you, LisaDreams!) The reason I'm not allowing it is because saying yes would have really negative consequences on the rest of my life. Also, creating that kind of a situation would be very much out of alignment with Love and Connection, which is my umbrella focus (I haven't forgotten).

However... if I can get a full time job with a reasonable salary, and move out, and live on my own, and be financially independent... I would be able to say yes with zero negative consequences.

HOWEVER however... I've been trying to get a full time job with a reasonable salary all bloody summer, and it's totally not working out for me. AND, I think I've figured out why. It's because of a conflict between desire 2 (move out/salary) and desire 3 (move away).

Here's what's going on:
- I don't want to take a full time job around here, because I'd feel extremely trapped. I have been applying, but it's been very halfhearted.
- I have a belief, I don't know if it's true or not but I have it, that nobody is going to hire someone from across the country for an entry-level position when there are so many people locally, all over. And I don't have the money to move first, then look for a job.

I realize that I could also take a job here (if I can get one ), work for a year or so, save up, and THEN move and find another job. However, this also creates a conflict. The best way to save money is to keep living where I am, and not pay rent. But staying here equals zero freedom. So I don't really want to do that.

Soooooo... all these things are at odds with each other, which is probably why nothing is happening. The most logical way to progress is probably to forget about that pesky first thing I want, put all my focus into finding a job locally, keep living where I am now, save my pennies, and re-evaluate in a year. But that's 0 parts what I want and 3 parts what I don't want. And even if I do completely drop desire no. 1, I'm still 0 for 2.

Damn, damn, damn.

I need a miracle. This is Intention-Manifestation, right? We do that here... right?

[Rubns]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have a belief, I don't know if it's true or not but I have it, that nobody is going to hire someone from across the country for an entry-level position when there are so many people locally, all over. And I don't have the money to move first, then look for a job.

This is a very strong belief, and probably, it's what is separating you from achieving your goal. Let me tell you a personal experience that may help you lighten your resistance and allow your reality to shift:

When I finished my studies I started working in the UK without any problems (I'm from Spain). I have also worked in other European countries. As you probably know, European Union citizens can work in any EU country if they want to.

BUT there are still important barriers such as languages, cultural differences etc. You have a whole country, with the same language, similar culture and you say nobody is going to hire someone from across the country? Really?

So banish those thoughts from your mind and start pursuing your goals

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Rubns

This is a very strong belief, and probably, it's what is separating you from achieving your goal. Let me tell you a personal experience that may help you lighten your resistance and allow your reality to shift:

When I finished my studies I started working in the UK without any problems (I'm from Spain). I have also worked in other European countries. As you probably know, European Union citizens can work in any EU country if they want to.

BUT there are still important barries such as languages, cultural differences etc. You have a whole country, with the same language, similar culture and you say nobody is going to hire someone from across the country? Really?

So banish those thoughts from your mind and start pursuing your goals

Yeah. Probably. Maybe. The only thing is that I tried to just do that to begin with, from June, but it never worked out. This is the loop that I keep getting into...

[Reefs]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I need a miracle. This is Intention-Manifestation, right? We do that here... right?

You rely on motivation. You are clear about what you don't want. You want to overcome it. So you try hard. You think about the how, the when and the who.That's not I/M. That's not your job. You only rely on your action (analyzing and planning is also action!!!).

You need inspiration. You must be clear about what you want. Not overcoming something, but expanding, growing into something new. So no need to try hard. No need to think about the how, the when and the who. Let LOA do it's job. You give the direction you want things to go and stay focused on that. First LOA will match you up with a new set of thoughts and feelings that indicate your new focus, then you will get impulses which lead to effortless and highly effective action. That way you will always be at the right place at the right time with the right people saying the right things. You cannot plan that. That's the kind of leverage you are looking for and what you call 'miracle'.

[Criseyde]

Dish-washing revelations

... almost as good as shower revelations.

I spent most of the afternoon feeling discouraged after writing my posts. That's a good sign that I was focused in the wrong direction. (Of course I was -- I was focused on why things aren't working.)

But this was good because I realized something, a serious negative personality trait. I get discouraged easily. (Warning, possible bragging ahead:--) I've always been smart, and many things come to me easily. I never learned to stick to something in order to acquire a skill or some knowledge, because I'm able to pick so many things up quickly. I'm also an Enneagram 7: "spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered." I mention this because, for me, it's a really good descriptor -- I have almost all the traits listed. So it's usually pretty easy for me to come up with a new activity or a "better" idea, and abandon the old one.

Basically, when I was searching for jobs in other states, I got discouraged way too soon. I did have one interview out of state, but I didn't get the job. That seriously dampened my morale, and I mostly switched to applying for local jobs. But I already went through all that; it's been halfhearted, because I don't really want it...

SO ANYWAY, I thought of something else. You know how when you're little and you want something that requires responsibility (like a PUPPY!), your parents make you do something to "prove" that you can handle the responsibility? Well, I am totally not proving that I can be a responsible adult with my own place. I've been discouraged and upset and my room is a horrendous mess. I've gotten it presentable about eleventy kazillion times, but it's disorganized and gets messy again quickly. When I try to organize it, I always get discouraged () and give up because I have too much stuff and nowhere to put it all.

So it's going like this:

Me: Hey universe! I want a job and an apartment of my own!
Universe: WTF? You can't even keep your bedroom clean. Go home and play with your toys, little girl.

... lol. I have no idea if that's true, but I think it would at least be a good exercise in self discipline and persistence to start keeping my room clean. And that's something I can do right now, I don't have to wait for somebody else to do anything.

À bientôt, forum.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Reefs

You rely on motivation. You are clear about what you don't want. You want to overcome it. So you try hard. You think about the how, the when and the who.That's not I/M. That's not your job. You only rely on your action (analyzing and planning is also action!!!).

You need inspiration. You must be clear about what you want. Not overcoming something, but expanding, growing into something new. So no need to try hard. No need to think about the how, the when and the who. Let LOA do it's job. You give the direction you want things to go and stay focused on that. First LOA will match you up with a new set of thoughts and feelings that indicate your new focus, then you will get impulses which lead to effortless and highly effective action. That way you will always be at the right place at the right time with the right people saying the right things. You cannot plan that. That's the kind of leverage you are looking for and what you call 'miracle'.

BUT REEFS! I LIKE to feel like I'm doing something!

Okay. You're right. I want to move to another state, be financially independent, and have adventures. I have to focus on that.

Is that good?

[VinceG]

Why do you want a job and an apartment of your own? I've had both, and I have to tell you, it sucks. Now I share an apartment and do odd jobs to get cash. 10 times better. I suspect you want them because society tells you you need them. You don't need them. In fact, having them will just snowball into having other crap you don't need or want. When I had an apartment, I had a ton of crap that I never used, never wanted, except to fill up space in my 'home', which wasn't really a home but a place to put a computer and a bed and to cook food.

I spent $200 on a dining room table and chairs with the high-falutin' wishful thinking that I was going to entertain guests. Never happened. 'Bout the only thing I used it for was to work on a small engine with. It literally fell apart in storage after I got rid of the place.

A job is a terrible waste of time and energy. About the only way they make sense is if you put together a string of them and call it a 'career'. Are you career minded? Are you prepared to lay down your self-worth on the illusion of income security and the fiction that you're doing your best work?

Forget the job, learn a skill instead and ask people you know to use you for it. Maybe web design. Maybe accounting. Maybe marketing. Forget going to school and learn it on your own. Direct your own education. It's easier than you think.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Why do you want a job and an apartment of your own? I've had both, and I have to tell you, it sucks. Now I share an apartment and do odd jobs to get cash. 10 times better. I suspect you want them because society tells you you need them. You don't need them. In fact, having them will just snowball into having other crap you don't need or want. When I had an apartment, I had a ton of crap that I never used, never wanted, except to fill up space in my 'home', which wasn't really a home but a place to put a computer and a bed and to cook food.

I spent $200 on a dining room table and chairs with the high-falutin' wishful thinking that I was going to entertain guests. Never happened. 'Bout the only thing I used it for was to work on a small engine with. It literally fell apart in storage after I got rid of the place.

A job is a terrible waste of time and energy. About the only way they make sense is if you put together a string of them and call it a 'career'. Are you career minded? Are you prepared to lay down your self-worth on the illusion of income security and the fiction that you're doing your best work?

Forget the job, learn a skill instead and ask people you know to use you for it. Maybe web design. Maybe accounting. Maybe marketing. Forget going to school and learn it on your own. Direct your own education. It's easier than you think.

Lol... you have a point. I'm not career minded AT ALL. Everyone I know thinks that I'm entirely lacking in ambition, because I'm "so smart" and would be "such a good doctor" but I peaced out of that little plan after the first year of college.

But I really do want my own apartment. And more than anything, I want freedom. I know, everyone is going to rush in here and say "jobs aren't freedom!" But trust me...

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Lol... you have a point. I'm not career minded AT ALL. Everyone I know thinks that I'm entirely lacking in ambition, because I'm "so smart" and would be "such a good doctor" but I peaced out of that little plan after the first year of college.

This is projection. Other people think "If I were as smart as her, I'd be doing X!" Both the thought that you're smarter than they are, and the desire to be "a good doctor" are pure, illusory, socially dictated nonsense. Nobody wants to be a doctor, they want to be seen as a doctor. If you asked people if they'd want to be a doctor but be treated like a janitor, what do you think they'd say?

But I really do want my own apartment. And more than anything, I want freedom. I know, everyone is going to rush in here and say "jobs aren't freedom!" But trust me...

You better get real familiar with the LoA, then, because something tells me you're not going to have the patience for a traditional job hunt!

[LisaDreams]

Lots of interesting discussion in this thread ...

Originally Posted by VinceG

Why do you want a job and an apartment of your own? I've had both, and I have to tell you, it sucks.

A job is a terrible waste of time and energy. About the only way they make sense is if you put together a string of them and call it a 'career'. Are you career minded? Are you prepared to lay down your self-worth on the illusion of income security and the fiction that you're doing your best work?

I'm curious about something. You seem to base your beliefs entirely on your personal experience i.e., you didn't like your own apartment or a job, so both are horrible. It puzzles me why such limiting beliefs are held by someone that seems to be drawn to using LoA. I'm not suggesting that you have to want either, but I don't get why you assume they have to be horrible. For example, I don't want to go camping, but I don't assume that it is impossible for me to have a good experience or that others can't have wonderful experiences. I don't chose it, but I see no value in holding a belief that no one can have a great experience doing it.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

- I don't want to take a full time job around here, because I'd feel extremely trapped. I have been applying, but it's been very halfhearted.
- I have a belief, I don't know if it's true or not but I have it, that nobody is going to hire someone from across the country for an entry-level position when there are so many people locally, all over. And I don't have the money to move first, then look for a job.

If you stay half hearted and believe it will trap you, then you could very well find yourself feeling trapped and in a crappy job i.e. one you really don't care about. People do get hired for entry level jobs across the country. I have known many, even in horrific job markets.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I need a miracle. This is Intention-Manifestation, right? We do that here... right?

Yes!! Miracles happen every day.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Lol... you have a point. I'm not career minded AT ALL. Everyone I know thinks that I'm entirely lacking in ambition, because I'm "so smart" and would be "such a good doctor" but I peaced out of that little plan after the first year of college.

But I really do want my own apartment. And more than anything, I want freedom. I know, everyone is going to rush in here and say "jobs aren't freedom!" But trust me...

OMG!! I am having flashbacks of myself in my early 20's!!! LOL!! I had no "career" focus, I'm smart and was good at most anything I tried. I also considered medical school (and it was strongly suggested to me), but realized I didn't want to do it, wanted my own space and financial freedom ...

I don't pretend to know your path, though I would like to tell you that you don't have to know how everything will work out to believe that it can work out. I struggled for work after I got my undergrad. I was supposedly over qualified for everything, got so tired of hearing that over and over again. I finally made it down to the final two for a job I thought I wanted and got rejected, told how great I was, but still didn't make it. I got really clear on wanting an income and my own place and I was hired by the same company a few weeks later for a job at double the salary for the one I didn't get. Also in that some time line, one of my professors created a job for me, but I declined and took the high paying job. I ended up not liking it and left after a year, though I learned so much in that year about what I wanted. I went on to have an amazing career, getting to travel the world and do many exciting and rewarding things. I have loved it and have made quite a lot of money. In fact, the few times I took a pay cut for something that I really wanted, I ended up quickly making so much more. A job can be great, if you enjoy that job. Mine have brought personal growth, life long friends, adventures ... sure there are plenty of jobs I wouldn't want, but that's why I don't do those jobs.

I've also had side businesses that have done well, though some have required more effort than I wanted to give them or I lost interest. In one case, I was in a partnership with two other people and one died. The two of us left just didn't want to continue. Each was a valuable experience.

For me, money is energy and brings me freedom. I value money, because it gives me options and also has enabled me to support people I love. I'm at a point in my life where I could leave my job and live well, though I expect to stay in it for maybe 5 more years. I have more I want to accomplish here and I really enjoy it.

Lastly:
- caring for your space now does affirm that you want to live in a space you care for and will bring you a space you love more
- taking a local job will not bind you to where you are, only you can bind yourself to the location
- people do get hired out of state for entry level jobs, it could happen to you
- if you feel moved to taking a local job, you can in fact leave it soon if a job you want becomes available. People do this all the time!!! It may also make you less entry level.

To that last point, it just happened to me. A guy that started working for me in April was contacted a couple of months later. His resume was still out there. Long story short, he came to me and felt so guilty. He loved working for me and I could see in the time he was there how life changing the environment was for him. Enjoying his work and getting away from the crazy work stress he had been in saved his marriage and got him on track to being a better dad. He loved working in our group, but this was a fantastic opportunity for him. He got to move to a part of the country he always wanted to live in and this position was just a beautiful fit. I was thrilled for him and helped make his last couple of weeks easy. I didn't begrudge him this opportunity one little bit.

I also happen to believe that his taking the job for me is what changed his energy and focus and got him his dream job.

Lisa

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I get discouraged easily. (Warning, possible bragging ahead:--) I've always been smart, and many things come to me easily. I never learned to stick to something in order to acquire a skill or some knowledge, because I'm able to pick so many things up quickly.

I could have written that.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Me: Hey universe! I want a job and an apartment of my own!
Universe: WTF? You can't even keep your bedroom clean. Go home and play with your toys, little girl.

Uhm. I've never been able to keep my bedroom clean, and I've had lots of jobs and apartments and houses of my own.

Do you equate keeping your room neat with being a grownup? (That's a serious question, and I'm not being snarky or anything).

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I think it would at least be a good exercise in self discipline and persistence to start keeping my room clean.

Well, that's a good way to develop discipline when it comes to cleaning. You may also learn some things about how to develop a discipline or healthy routine. And, bonus, you'll have a clean room and you'll feel happier when you're in it.

[homestudycoach]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have seen NINE Alaska license plates in the past three weeks. Two today. Two two days ago. The more I pay attention to Alaska license plates, think about Alaska license plates, and tell people that I've been seeing Alaska license plates, the more I see.

After the first two, I started paying attention to the cars to see if I'm just seeing repeats... I'm not. And I've seen so many that I am actually starting to recognize the styles

It's called the Reticular Activating System. Part of the limbic brain its job is to allow certain information to get through to the consciousness. What happens when you set a goal is you lift the filters off your eyes so that information that formerly was on the periphery of your conscious awareness now becomes consciously aware. Well done for powerful goal setting.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by LisaDreams

I'm curious about something. You seem to base your beliefs entirely on your personal experience i.e., you didn't like your own apartment or a job, so both are horrible. It puzzles me why such limiting beliefs are held by someone that seems to be drawn to using LoA. I'm not suggesting that you have to want either, but I don't get why you assume they have to be horrible. For example, I don't want to go camping, but I don't assume that it is impossible for me to have a good experience or that others can't have wonderful experiences. I don't chose it, but I see no value in holding a belief that no one can have a great experience doing it.

Are you defending having a job here? Or are you questioning what you think are my limiting beliefs? I'll answer both.

Jobs aren't what they used to be. Expectations are rising, and compensation is decreasing. Sure, you could use the LoA to get around these things, but why, when there are far more interesting ways to make money?

And, it's not limiting to work around the rest of the world. You could use the LoA to get around it, but it's best just to work in harmony with it.

[LisaDreams]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Are you defending having a job here? Or are you questioning what you think are my limiting beliefs? I'll answer both.

Jobs aren't what they used to be. Expectations are rising, and compensation is decreasing. Sure, you could use the LoA to get around these things, but why, when there are far more interesting ways to make money?

And, it's not limiting to work around the rest of the world. You could use the LoA to get around it, but it's best just to work in harmony with it.

I'm not defending anything. That's an interesting choice of words. My point is simply this: I believe in getting what I want, though I believe I have consistently gotten it more easily and in a form that is even better when I have not constrained my beliefs. Like in the camping example. I washed out of girl scout camp. LOL!! I was that kid that cried and called home to leave. My dad and one of my brothers came and got me. I hated it. I don't camp. I also don't tell everyone that wants to camp that it's horrible, that they are wasting their time or make other categorical discouraging comments to people that may find joy in doing it. I doubt if I will ever camp again, but life continues to surprise me so I choose not to hold the thought that it is horrible, simply that there are too many other things I'd rather do.

All of your comments about expectations and compensation etc., are limiting beliefs (to me). I don't see limiting beliefs as things to get around, I see such beliefs as road blocks. I've posted a simple example of this in two other threads. Bottom line, when I gave up the limiting beliefs I got exactly what I wanted. The implication for anyone (from me) is that you may never choose to work, but I think more revenue opportunities may come to if you are more open.

I know quite a few doctors that want to be doctors. They have a passion for healing and feel great purpose and joy in their work. It's interesting that you are willing to make such huge generalizations about people like "Nobody wants to be a doctor." I admit, I tend to forget that people actually make such judgments, so it surprises me when people do, especially in this context.

I guess we just think differently. When I read your last sentence, about "working around" and "working in harmony" it just seems odd to me that you put those two together. I think of harmony as a flow. It's like I could choose to try to navigate around the blocks in the stream or go with the current. For me, going with the current in the stream gets me there faster and more easily than trying to fight the current or work around logs or bushes in the stream. Ultimately, it's about what works for each of us. I was curious. I wasn't attacking or defending or doing anything other than trying to share what has worked for me and to understand what you wrote. My apologies if that did not come across to you.

Lisa

[Criseyde]

Thank you all for your input.

Originally Posted by LisaDreams

OMG!! I am having flashbacks of myself in my early 20's!!! LOL!! I had no "career" focus, I'm smart and was good at most anything I tried. I also considered medical school (and it was strongly suggested to me), but realized I didn't want to do it, wanted my own space and financial freedom ...

I don't pretend to know your path, though I would like to tell you that you don't have to know how everything will work out to believe that it can work out. I struggled for work after I got my undergrad. I was supposedly over qualified for everything, got so tired of hearing that over and over again. I finally made it down to the final two for a job I thought I wanted and got rejected, told how great I was, but still didn't make it. I got really clear on wanting an income and my own place and I was hired by the same company a few weeks later for a job at double the salary for the one I didn't get. Also in that some time line, one of my professors created a job for me, but I declined and took the high paying job. I ended up not liking it and left after a year, though I learned so much in that year about what I wanted. I went on to have an amazing career, getting to travel the world and do many exciting and rewarding things. I have loved it and have made quite a lot of money. In fact, the few times I took a pay cut for something that I really wanted, I ended up quickly making so much more. A job can be great, if you enjoy that job. Mine have brought personal growth, life long friends, adventures ... sure there are plenty of jobs I wouldn't want, but that's why I don't do those jobs.

Yes! This is what I want.

Lastly:
- caring for your space now does affirm that you want to live in a space you care for and will bring you a space you love more

Yeah, that is what I was going for with the whole "keeping my room clean" thing. I realized that I didn't quite make that clear.

- taking a local job will not bind you to where you are, only you can bind yourself to the location
- people do get hired out of state for entry level jobs, it could happen to you
- if you feel moved to taking a local job, you can in fact leave it soon if a job you want becomes available. People do this all the time!!! It may also make you less entry level.

I guess that's true too. I have always heard that you have to stay in your first job for a year to prove that you can stick to it. A year... sounds like a long time to me.

To that last point, it just happened to me. A guy that started working for me in April was contacted a couple of months later. His resume was still out there. Long story short, he came to me and felt so guilty. He loved working for me and I could see in the time he was there how life changing the environment was for him. Enjoying his work and getting away from the crazy work stress he had been in saved his marriage and got him on track to being a better dad. He loved working in our group, but this was a fantastic opportunity for him. He got to move to a part of the country he always wanted to live in and this position was just a beautiful fit. I was thrilled for him and helped make his last couple of weeks easy. I didn't begrudge him this opportunity one little bit.

I also happen to believe that his taking the job for me is what changed his energy and focus and got him his dream job.

Lisa

Hm, can I have his job then?

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

Uhm. I've never been able to keep my bedroom clean, and I've had lots of jobs and apartments and houses of my own.

Do you equate keeping your room neat with being a grownup? (That's a serious question, and I'm not being snarky or anything).

Yes, I do. I seem to equate a lot of things with being a grownup. Conveniently, none of them are qualities that I possess.

Originally Posted by homestudycoach

It's called the Reticular Activating System. Part of the limbic brain its job is to allow certain information to get through to the consciousness. What happens when you set a goal is you lift the filters off your eyes so that information that formerly was on the periphery of your conscious awareness now becomes consciously aware. Well done for powerful goal setting.

Thanks. But I don't know if it's the RAS. I always look at license plates and always have.

[AngelPsychic444]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Clarity

It didn't take me long to get clear on my clarity problem. () Right now, there are three things that I really want more than anything else. I don't want to go into detail on the first thing publicly. The second thing that I want is to be financially independent and live on my own. That sounds like a lot when I write it like that, but all I actually need is a job that pays a reasonable salary. The third thing is that I want to move away from where I live now, to a different area of the country.

These three things that I want are linked together. I realized today that I could have the first one just by saying "yes" to something -- an offer that was already made. It would honestly be that easy. So I already have the first thing that I want. I'm just not allowing it into my experience. (Thank you, LisaDreams!) The reason I'm not allowing it is because saying yes would have really negative consequences on the rest of my life. Also, creating that kind of a situation would be very much out of alignment with Love and Connection, which is my umbrella focus (I haven't forgotten).

However... if I can get a full time job with a reasonable salary, and move out, and live on my own, and be financially independent... I would be able to say yes with zero negative consequences.

HOWEVER however... I've been trying to get a full time job with a reasonable salary all bloody summer, and it's totally not working out for me. AND, I think I've figured out why. It's because of a conflict between desire 2 (move out/salary) and desire 3 (move away).

Here's what's going on:
- I don't want to take a full time job around here, because I'd feel extremely trapped. I have been applying, but it's been very halfhearted.
- I have a belief, I don't know if it's true or not but I have it, that nobody is going to hire someone from across the country for an entry-level position when there are so many people locally, all over. And I don't have the money to move first, then look for a job.

I realize that I could also take a job here (if I can get one ), work for a year or so, save up, and THEN move and find another job. However, this also creates a conflict. The best way to save money is to keep living where I am, and not pay rent. But staying here equals zero freedom. So I don't really want to do that.

Soooooo... all these things are at odds with each other, which is probably why nothing is happening. The most logical way to progress is probably to forget about that pesky first thing I want, put all my focus into finding a job locally, keep living where I am now, save my pennies, and re-evaluate in a year. But that's 0 parts what I want and 3 parts what I don't want. And even if I do completely drop desire no. 1, I'm still 0 for 2.

Damn, damn, damn.

I need a miracle. This is Intention-Manifestation, right? We do that here... right?

It's good to see you understand how what you focus on really does bring you your goals, desires, and even of course on certain occasions, what you don't want.

So I would hope you start to use intention statements to bring things to you faster.

You spoke of a job you wanted, you could say several times a day "I intend to have the perfect full time job come to me that's easy and fun and pays well". Say this with joy and enthusiam... maybe like 3 times a day and spread them out. You could say it more if you wish, but try to always say it from a place of joy not lack...that's so important.

Try to make other intention statements like this throughout the day and keep track which ones bring you results. If you make 10-12 statements and only 1 or 2 work...that's a good beginning.

Make sure you start all your intention statements with "I intend....". This would be a great experiment for you, and could also bring amazing results!

I've used this myself and make intention statements often, it's amazing when we tell the Universe/God/Source... what we wish to see happen...and then it shows up!

[LisaDreams]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Yeah, that is what I was going for with the whole "keeping my room clean" thing. I realized that I didn't quite make that clear.

I thought you were clear. I was trying to agree with you!!

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I guess that's true too. I have always heard that you have to stay in your first job for a year to prove that you can stick to it. A year... sounds like a long time to me.

Not necessarily a year. Sometimes you just have to get moving to get moving towards what you want.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Hm, can I have his job then?

You're so cute!!

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Yes, I do. I seem to equate a lot of things with being a grownup. Conveniently, none of them are qualities that I possess.

One more thing, and I not only have to go, but also need to return your thread to you!!! LOL!! One of the best lessons my dad taught me growing up was to equate growing up & being responsible with freedom. My dad wanted all of us (brothers and I) to be independent and self-sufficient. He said he felt that one of his primary responsibilities as a father was to help us to all believe we could go out into the world and live the life we want to live. So, growing up, as we were given more responsibility we also got more choice and liberty. I mean some of it was so simple like getting a choice on which night to stay up later. My point is that I got to learn that growing up doesn't mean we don't get to be playful, creative or goof off. For me, growing up means freedom i.e., the ability to go where I want and do what I want.

Whenever I found myself getting stuck on "not growing up" I remembered this and embraced the responsibility and every time, life got easier. For example, when I decided that I wanted my home to be cleaner and I made more of an effort in that direction and really took responsibility for keeping it clean, my money and schedule made it easy for me to hire someone to clean. I don't like to clean, but I realized that I do enjoy having a clean home and now I always do. I have more time and energy freed up to do what I want and my home is clean.

I think you have plenty of mature qualities. Maybe you have limiting beliefs about what it means to be a grown-up? I still play just as much as I did when I was young, though in some ways I just have more options now.


Lisa

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by AngelPsychic444

It's good to see you understand how what you focus on really does bring you your goals, desires, and even of course on certain occasions, what you don't want.

So I would hope you start to use intention statements to bring things to you faster.

You spoke of a job you wanted, you could say several times a day "I intend to have the perfect full time job come to me that's easy and fun and pays well". Say this with joy and enthusiam... maybe like 3 times a day and spread them out. You could say it more if you wish, but try to always say it from a place of joy not lack...that's so important.

Try to make other intention statements like this throughout the day and keep track which ones bring you results. If you make 10-12 statements and only 1 or 2 work...that's a good beginning.

Make sure you start all your intention statements with "I intend....". This would be a great experiment for you, and could also bring amazing results!

I've used this myself and make intention statements often, it's amazing when we tell the Universe/God/Source... what we wish to see happen...and then it shows up!

Thank you so much! I'll try this. I've never really done much with "statements" or affirmations or anything, so this should be a fun experiment.

Originally Posted by LisaDreams

One more thing, and I not only have to go, but also need to return your thread to you!!! LOL!! One of the best lessons my dad taught me growing up was to equate growing up & being responsible with freedom. My dad wanted all of us (brothers and I) to be independent and self-sufficient. He said he felt that one of his primary responsibilities as a father was to help us to all believe we could go out into the world and live the life we want to live. So, growing up, as we were given more responsibility we also got more choice and liberty. I mean some of it was so simple like getting a choice on which night to stay up later. My point is that I got to learn that growing up doesn't mean we don't get to be playful, creative or goof off. For me, growing up means freedom i.e., the ability to go where I want and do what I want.

Whenever I found myself getting stuck on "not growing up" I remembered this and embraced the responsibility and every time, life got easier. For example, when I decided that I wanted my home to be cleaner and I made more of an effort in that direction and really took responsibility for keeping it clean, my money and schedule made it easy for me to hire someone to clean. I don't like to clean, but I realized that I do enjoy having a clean home and now I always do. I have more time and energy freed up to do what I want and my home is clean.

I think you have plenty of mature qualities. Maybe you have limiting beliefs about what it means to be a grown-up? I still play just as much as I did when I was young, though in some ways I just have more options now.


Lisa

Thank you! Don't worry about "returning" my thread to me; everything you've written so far has been very helpful and insightful!

YES, I need to equate growing up with freedom. Somehow I never have before. Probably because I *didn't* really have much liberty, growing up, and I still don't... well that is a whole long story that I don't want to focus on. I think even disconnecting "growing up" from all these qualities I *don't* have will be helpful.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I seem to equate a lot of things with being a grownup. Conveniently, none of them are qualities that I possess.

That made me chuckle. I think you may be on to something, there. There may be some conflict between what you say you want (to have a job, your own place, etc.) and not wanting to have to take on the onus of "grownup" (whatever that means to you). Perhaps it has to do with moving away from your mother, or a perception that grownups don't have any fun, or that it's hard work being a grownup or any number of things (it's your subconscious, I'm just guessing at possible beliefs ).

Maybe look at that a little more closely. What's going on that makes being a grownup unattractive or frightening or unattainable (or whatever it is that you're worried about)? Seems like a good place to have a snoop.

[Bongza]

Analysing thoughts is tiring but every hour I remind myself that I am thinking positive and even practise my affirmations. I have learnt to pause during the course of the day maybe during lunch time, just be silent and clear my mind.

Regards
Bongz
Embrace growth and change | Just another WordPress.com site

[Criseyde]

NLP Mindfest

The link to this is in Steve's blog... I HIGHLY encourage everyone to go sign up!

I listened to the first two sessions today, and I learned an excellent technique for getting rid of anxiety -- basically, changing your focus from something anxiety producing and also captivating to something more pleasant. I wasn't sure whether I should post it, but at the end of each video they encourage you to share the techniques with your friends, so.

Here's how it works. As soon as you notice the trigger for the anxiety, stop, and bring your awareness down into your big toe. Then do your other big toe. Then the soles of your feet. Then your feet. Ankles. Calves. On and on up your body. Make sure to take deep breaths while you're doing it.

Stay there until the anxiety is gone (the woman doing the session said 90 seconds).

Then, switch your attention to something else.

The last part is the part I have trouble with because I keep checking. "zomg! Is it really gone? It couldn't be gone that easily, could it..? Is it still gone? Is it still gone?" and then of course it comes back. I'm sure I'll get used to it.

This works because it interrupts whatever pattern you have going on and brings you to the present moment.

Sorry if this is extremely simplistic and everyone else knew it already.