How to Stop the Negative?

[pure]

I'm not sure where to start this. This whole LOA thing is very difficult for me because my brain is different. I have severe ADD and OCD. I feel so out of control of my thoughts and feelings, which is very scary and disturbing, and it always seems like the slightest things can trigger off this out of control process. As far as my brain having thoughts, images, associations and feelings that it does NOT want to have and then being helplessly tormented by them, because the more I try to stop them or control them, the worse it is. So, it had caused me to try to control my thoughts and keep them 'clean' indirectly. Through my compulsions and mainly avoidance. Trying to avoid different subjects and the things that are so disturbing and I am hyper sensitive to. It's a hypersensitivity to negativity and anything disturbing or unpleasant. Especially sensory wise, like visually etc., yet then it also is within just the thought of these things, not wanting to ever think about them. So, then it creates a fear of associations, of a fear that anything mentally 'linked' to these negative things will also become 'tainted' by the negative thoughts, if there is any link of proximity. Like happening at the same time as the negative thought, or negative effect, or thinking about the positive or neutral things at the same time as the negative thoughts etc. The fear is that a permanent association or trigger will be created. So like I think that anytime now that I see or think of the positive or neutral thing, then the negative thoughts will come up as well. It is like trying to not mentally contaminate and spread this mental virus of thoughts I don't want to have. I already feel out of control to stop them or to not react to them, so this fear then makes it more real, that I can't stop them or that they will come back.

So, basically fear is a paradox, obviously. Attracting more of what we don't want. Yet how do we stop that, without also creating what we don't want. I mean it is tricky especially when your brain is hyper-reactive. The problem is that I have a ton of resistance and detest so many things in this world, that I almost just reject it completely. I have a very difficult time with reconciling that these things that I hate and are so unpleasant are a reality, and then I have a hard time with enjoying the positive things and thinking of the all the positive things as truly positive, when the negative things are still there and so close to them. The only way for me to enjoy the positive things is through denial and avoidance of all the negative things I can't ever 'like' or not hate. Yet then the avoidance causes me to be very disturbed when I can't avoid the reality of them and react very negatively emotionally to that. And this is all the time, because these things are part of life and I can't wish that away!

Then when I really can't avoid these things like they happen in a very awful way, that was clearly 'bad luck' or 'bad timing' etc. and obviously I must of attracted it or whatever. Then I feel completely traumatized by it, mortified and sometimes to the point of feeling suicidal if I can't just accept this world. It makes me feel like the entire day is tainted by it and I don't want to taint anything else, just want to wait it out and clear it from my thoughts and that 'bad day'! Yet I would also go into extreme emotions of feeling so regretful of why it had to happen, and "if only I", or "why didn't I just", "if I just left 2 minutes earlier", "if I just did this simple thing instead!", or just "why why!!"
Sometimes I would have to sleep it off or just be in a daze for a while. Other times I would expose myself even more to the disturbing subject in other ways to try to 'neutralize' my resistance to it and get myself to not think about it as so bad or such a bad deal. Like researching things or looking up that it's happened to others or people I like and admire or that they are not so bothered by it. Yet I still can't let it go or be ok with it and not reject it. When things are not what I want, I have a strong emotional resistance to it.

Then of course, more of these events keep happening. I totally believe LOA now, at least as evidenced by the negative things. I know that the traditional OCD 'therapists' would just classify the belief in something like LOA as just another OCD irrational superstition. And I know that when you start thinking more of something, even if you don't want to, you just start noticing it more even though it was already around just as much before. Selective awareness filters and all that. Yet these events are things with really low odds. I mean things that have never happened to e before, and the timing of the negative events in such close proximity to each other in the same week etc. I know that these things did NOT happen like this before I had the OCD around the subjects. So, not only do I hate them and don't want to think about these things, they keep happening in ways that make it impossible not to think about them. It is a horrible negative downward spiral that just creates even more fear and trauma about them, feeding the happening of them more.

I just want to change things around and get what I want. I know though that I just can't get myself to like what I hate, no matter what I tell myself, my body has a mind of its own. And I don't want to like these things, I just don't want them to have much happening in my mind or my physical reality. Even though I can't change the reality of this world and make it match all of my ideals of what it 'should' be, I just want mainly the BEST of it, and very little of what I hate of it the most. There's what we want and what we don't.

My life has been on this crazy downward spiral though. I mean, my fears kept happening, and it constantly has felt like this trap that I can't get out of because I am blocked by all of my problems. All of these catch 22's. And as much as I would try to just get ahead I could not, as things would just get worse instead, and I am stuck on this treadmill of using literally all of my energy to just fix problem after problem and just survive until the next problem. I mean literally the most basic things. And a lot of it is because of my mental disorders and the limitations of what is acceptable, so everything takes much longer to only accept things a 'certain' way or whatever. Though the main issue is that of all the things that keep happening and all the very extreme frustration from it all, when nothing will work and I'm trapped again and just trying everything to get something to work. And just when I think that - if only I survive this, and get over this one problem, I will feel better to deal with the rest of the problems. Then another thing after another thing happens to make everything even worse. So there are no clear times, or any consistency of anything to progress anything forward. And then I feel like if one more thing happens I will completely lose it! And of course they do. Yet I have to keep going because my only other option is death! So, I just feel almost like the universe is testing me sometimes to see how much I can take before completely breaking! So, in dealing with these things and these problems that keep happening, whether they are 'real' problems or just even 'thought' and 'emotional' problems from my disorders (very difficult to even separate them), it is basically IMPOSSIBLE to not feel negative. Not not feel the frustration, the pain, self-pity, aggression, anger, desire, drive, etc. just almost a feeling of wanting to FORCE things to happen yet you can't because they don't work that way, and force just makes things worse etc. So, it is all more of a downward spiral, because unless I was the most enlightened zen monk, it really is impossible to not feel these negative feelings, which just then attracts even MORE of these things I don't want and more negativity!

So, I just at this point of hitting rock bottom, need HELP on how to turn it all around and gain just a bit of LEVERAGE in the positive to get things on just a positive upward spiral instead! I haven't given up, I guess I'm resilient! I just have a ton of issues with attachment, hate, frustration, impatience and control issues.

[ProbableReality]

Here are a few ideas that I found helpful:

1) Consider finding a positive thought now.

2) Meditate 15 minutes a day. Only think about your breathing.

3) Allow yourself to be who you are. Don't beat yourself up. You don't have to justify yourself for any reason to anyone.

There is a time delay before you feel better, so be patient and believe relief is coming.

[Showtime]

"How to Stop the Negative?"

How to Start the Positive*

That's how

[mikej]

yep it's the obvious thing to say but focus on the opposite.

not easy to do at first but eventually things will change if you are patient and persistent with your new thoughts.

[NexusOfCompletion]

Originally Posted by Showtime

How to Start the Positive*

That's how

This about sums it up.

It took along time for me, but then I started noticing a pattern, or I should say more of a rut, where I would immediately go for the negative thoughts and feelings. Only on certain occasions would I get a flash of insight where I would realize that I control how I react to situations. You may not be able to control how you feel, but you have a choice in how you react.

This is how you spin every situation good or bad into gold. Take control of how you react and take responsibility for your actions.

[Stuttgart]

I agree, the concept is that simple. It may take a while to make a habit out of it, but its worth trying. For example, if you have health problems, concentrate on what you want. And if you listen to your inner voice, im sure it says: Damnit, i want to become healty again! Or it might say: I want this JOB! This Girl! Whatever it is, acknowledge ist, even though you may not know how to get it.

But if you discover this desire in youreself, you realize how it makes you feel stronger and more powerful. Dont be afraid of negative thoughts, they give you an indicator of what you may want. Mostly the exact opposite. And knowing want you want and accepting that is the keypoint, from where many things are possible.

[pure]

Originally Posted by mikej

yep it's the obvious thing to say but focus on the opposite.

not easy to do at first but eventually things will change if you are patient and persistent with your new thoughts.

How do you focus on the opposite when the opposite is a negative? I don't mean negative as in bad, yet negative as in nothing there, just the absence of what you don't want. Also, a lot of the time, I can't focus on the opposite of these things that I don't want or them just not happening because I have no idea that they will happen. They just come out of nowhere and all of a sudden what I could never of predicted happens, and I can't think of EVERYTHING that I don't like or don't want to happen that MAY possibly happen and then focus on it *not* happening, whatever that looks like. There are tons of things that I don't want to happen, and it's unpredictable.

Also, when the opposite of what you don't like or want in the world is just not possible because they ARE part of the world (although not the world that YOU would design, instead of the idiot who designed this one), then it does not matter because you can't change the reality and design of this world. So many things are just not up to you and never were! I am not all powerful, even though I wish that I were. I can't just abolish everything I dislike about this existence, yet I also can't accept or like all these things because to me they are just so Stupid and Wrong and I Detest them. I'm bothered by it all.

Originally Posted by NexusOfCompletion

You may not be able to control how you feel, but you have a choice in how you react.

This is how you spin every situation good or bad into gold. Take control of how you react and take responsibility for your actions.

Although, how you feel IS the reaction! Even if you don't actual act out on an emotion like go smash something up or burn something down or some other destructive thing, just feeling that and 'wanting' to do something like that creates the same negative energy and negative attraction of even more events that make you feel the same negative way. So the emotions count!

My version of taking responsibility for my actions usually is in the form of beating myself up and extreme regrets and interrogating myself etc. I really don't know why I think of the smartest things always AFTER I acted on them.

Must have something to do with my ADD and impulsiveness, yet it always just makes me feel like such an idiot and I wish so bad I did the opposite!

They say that people with OCD need to take more perceived 'risks' and are too conservative etc, yet most of the time I am upset because I wasn't conservative ENOUGH, and the small risks I took ended up in more trouble.

Did anyone even read my post? Not just the title? I am not 'normal' and my desires are not 'normal'. Of course I want a lot of similar things that normal people want, yet it's all the things that I just can't accept in this world and hate that builds up this negativity that prevents even the normal things that I want! I already know that. I just don't know how to stop that. I have spent years with 'therapists' and ERP etc. and it did nothing for me! I'm starting to think that maybe I really just can't change what I subjectively dislike and all the negative feelings I have about the world. For instance, I'm disgusted by most people and humans and so many other things, I don't want people to touch me, I can't stand to even look at certain people I just hate everything.

I don't know how to change how I feel about everything, yet I am SO sick of attracting things I hate the most. And I know that I have to live in this world with daily stuff of things that I don't want, all the mundane things I hate and have to deal with. I hate the mess of this world, I hate all the maintenance of everything, I hate all the dirt and grim and everything. You can't just stay away from it all, you can't cancel it out fast enough, you can't control other people, it's all just a mess. And I am suppose to feel all positive and love it.

So basically since I am not 'normal', most of the things that I want are just not sustainable at all. They cause even more problems. Yet it doesn't even matter if I feel envious of people who are fine with everything and so free and happy and are not bothered by any of it. It doesn't change how I feel.

So, while I can feel positive sometimes and do have good moments, it just doesn't last, and I can't keep that consistently, because again things happen that make me feel horrible again. And it's impossible to not focus on or think about these things WHILE in the act of having to deal with them in real life, and even though you really want it to go away and just escape, you can't!!!

Originally Posted by Stuttgart

But if you discover this desire in youreself, you realize how it makes you feel stronger and more powerful. Dont be afraid of negative thoughts, they give you an indicator of what you may want. Mostly the exact opposite. And knowing want you want and accepting that is the keypoint, from where many things are possible.

What I desire doesn't make me feel stronger and more powerful, it makes me feel driven and impatient and wanting to race towards it, yet I also know that I can't. Most things are just dreams, so I dream knowing that in reality for them to even be possible, I first have to get through all these things that are in the way or that would need to be changed for it to be the way that I really want it to be ideally. Also, I already know what I want, that's not the problem, the problem is all of the things I want that that are not possible.

[Showtime]

Pure, I'd say it'd be a good idea to get a couple of LoA or Mind Power related books to start with. In the amount of time that it takes us to explain everything you can grab a book for $7, read up then it would be a lot easier for us to give you advice.

As for all the things you listed (ADD, OCD, etc) that's all very fixable (and I use the word "fixable" loosely because neither of them are really problems... ADD means you can't focus on boring ****, and OCD means you're really clean. Whoopty doo.)

Anyway, the best book for you right now (in my opinion) is Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. You can pick it up at a bookstore or on Amazon for like $5 - $10. That will help you implant some new "images." Excellent book.

My advice for now is to stop looking at the past (diagnoses or otherwise) unless you want all that stuff in the future. Pick out some goals, how you want your future to be and give your undivided attention to that. Seriously, from this point on anything in the past is irrelevant.

[a muse]

I guess it depends on how your mind is hard-wired.
Did you grow up being an 'always late for the bus' kinda person or was it always there waiting for you when you arrived at the bus stop?

'Feel' don't think. "Thinking" is negative (in polarity terms)

[pure]

Originally Posted by Showtime

Pure, I'd say it'd be a good idea to get a couple of LoA or Mind Power related books to start with. In the amount of time that it takes us to explain everything you can grab a book for $7, read up then it would be a lot easier for us to give you advice.

You obviously have NO idea how long things take me. I have tons of books I don't even have time to read. Plus I have read books and things on this!

As for all the things you listed (ADD, OCD, etc) that's all very fixable (and I use the word "fixable" loosely because neither of them are really problems... ADD means you can't focus on boring ****, and OCD means you're really clean. Whoopty doo.)

You obviously don't know about ADD and OCD if that's what you think that they are. It's ok, 99% of people don't know about these disorders either, so don't feel bad. I suggest you read actual books and studies though on them before thinking that you know anything. You have no idea how much these things mess up your life. OCD does not mean you're clean, it means that you are completely dysfunctional and mentally tortured and sometimes suicidal. It means that often you are so screwed up that you can't even function in the world, work a normal job or have a relationship. And ADD is so much more than not being able to focus, and boring stuff is pretty much everything anyways, so that effects the function of everything. If you really want to know about some of the negative side effects of people with severe ADD, I suggest at least watching Dr. Barkley videos on YouTube.

These disorders ruin LIVES!

YouTube - A9Kam's Channel

YouTube - A9Kam's Channel

YouTube - A9Kam's Channel

Anyway, the best book for you right now (in my opinion) is Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. You can pick it up at a bookstore or on Amazon for like $5 - $10. That will help you implant some new "images." Excellent book.

I've already read that book like 10x.

Seriously, from this point on anything in the past is irrelevant.

Things in the past may be irrelevant if they are in the past and not effecting me anymore, yet everything in the present I have to deal with is relevant. I'm in a crisis. Multiple crisis's.

Originally Posted by a muse

I guess it depends on how your mind is hard-wired.
Did you grow up being an 'always late for the bus' kinda person or was it always there waiting for you when you arrived at the bus stop?

'Feel' don't think. "Thinking" is negative (in polarity terms)

Either late or waiting 30min. for it. Now, I can't even stand when a bus drives by me, let alone take one. I literally would never take public transportation!

[Showtime]

Originally Posted by pure

These disorders ruin LIVES!

I think you're underestimating the power of this stuff.

I know what ADD is, I was diagnosed as a child (ADHD, actually, hasn't made a lick of difference) and I'm quite familiar with what OCD is.

It doesn't matter of it's a brain tumor or you want more money. When you think about unwanted things, it perpetuates more. It doesn't matter if it's true. It doesn't matter if every scientist and doctor in the world agreed on that conclusion. What you talk about and think about perpetuates itself. What you want to do is perpetuate something better by talking and thinking about how you want your circumstances to be. If you want to keep suffering for the rest of your life, keep taking about and thinking about this stuff. I promise it will be right on your doorstep tomorrow.

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by pure

So, I just at this point of hitting rock bottom, need HELP on how to turn it all around and gain just a bit of LEVERAGE in the positive to get things on just a positive upward spiral instead! I haven't given up, I guess I'm resilient! I just have a ton of issues with attachment, hate, frustration, impatience and control issues.

Well, Pure, you have a couple of options.

You can attempt to heal your OCD and ADD, or you can just give up.

I was both OCD and ADD as a child and it *can* be overcome. But it cannot be overcome if you don't first accept that you are a powerful being, and that you are capable of changing yourself.

I'm not trying to diminish the reality of the impact that OCD and ADD has had on your life. I'm not saying it isn't real, or that there are no neurological abnormalities that exacerbate these situations. But here's the thing: this can change. Accept that, or at the very least, entertain this thought and you can begin to move in a positive direction.

You have to accept your power. As long as you conceptualize yourself as a victim at the mercy of events you cannot control, you will keep attracting evidence -- real evidence -- that this continues to be true.

You know what you want. You want to be free of OCD and ADD. Knowing what you want is the first powerful step towards achieving it. Intend that it be so. Trust me, if you will intend/affirm this strongly to yourself everyday for a couple of weeks you will start to notice change. It may go slow at first. Don't pressure yourself to change all at once.

But it WILL change.

Intent is the intelligent energy force that creates worlds. It is POWERFUL. It is the energy of change.

Remember, the way you are conceptualizing this whole process of the "law of attraction" is perpetuating how this process works for YOU. Ask yourself questions that unconsciously and automatically propel you into imagining new circumstances. Ask yourself, what would I behave like if I were mentally healthy, focused, and at peace with my life and everybody in it? You'll find when you ask yourself questions like these, you tend to automatically answer them through imagination. Use this to your advantage if you can.

Capture that feeling-place of freedom from these visualizations. You've got to find that feeling-place to make this all work for you. You have to be more aware of what you want, than what you don't want. Your attention to how things are is perpetuating them. Play the, "wouldn't it be nice?" game and visualize new scenarios. Pretend your someone else. Make it into a game.

The reason your OCD gets worse the more you try to control your thoughts is because the more you push against something the more you activate the vibration of it. The process for deactivating a thought is the same process as activating a different thought.

In every moment of your life there is both negative and positive. You have to learn to focus on the positive aspects more if you want your experience to attract more positivity. For the most part, it is behavioral conditioning. So if you practice enough, you will persevere, it just might be rough going for a bit while you do. Just don't beat yourself up when you fall off the wagon and you will get where you are trying to go eventually. Find ways to reward yourself when you make even slight amounts of progress. Look for excuses to feel good -- do things you love to do. If you can find ways to feel good, even a little bit, your resistance has lessened. And when your resistance goes down, what you want begins to come to you.

Best of luck.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by pure

yet everything in the present I have to deal with is relevant. I'm in a crisis. Multiple crisis's.

So what exactly are your multiple crises? Make a list.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by pure

How do you focus on the opposite when the opposite is a negative? I don't mean negative as in bad, yet negative as in nothing there, just the absence of what you don't want.

Well, either you have to be more imaginative and creative in deciding what to think about, or you'll just have to focus on the present moment. Objectless shinay could help.

[a muse]

Would you be willing to try a week of monitoring your mind? The most productive way to do this is to get a notebook to write down any negative thoughts you have. Start your week by forgetting that there was ever a yesterday and look at every day as if it is the only day you have. Correct your mind when it jumps in by giving it positive affirmations. See how you feel at the end of every day and write it down. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep telling yourself how blessed you are and have gratitude for everything that happens in your life. Keep focus only on what you do want and don't engage in anything that you don't want in your psyche/life.

[jacare]

1. Stop arguing so eloquently to defend all your bad stories.
2. Drop the bad story - it's only your spin on things and it may be a false spin
3. Drop the past
4. Flood your external stimuli with positive images
- positive mp3's in your ipod
- positive reading
- affirmations
5. Write your goals, and dwell on them
6. Love yourself unconditionally - spend a lot of time forgiving yourself - self condemnation does not whip you into getting what you want, it is counterproductive. There is no gain in it.

If you insist on OCD/ADD then make it in the affirmative - be obsessive in the positive for what you want.