Curious minds wanna know...

[moonrambler]

Themaster had a pattern of making comments about other members, and often in threads these people weren't even involved in, and the comments were often not very positive. He had once even started a thread specifically to make these type of comments about another forum member. He continued with this behavior even when the people in question made it very clear they didn't like it and wanted him to stop. And then he continued with this behavior after being warned by the mods to stop it. It became apparent he was unwilling to change this pattern.

Keep in mind we don't do these types of bannings lightly. Many of the mods spent a good part of the day yesterday discussing what to do about these two situations before coming to an agreement, with input from Steve as well.

[nicbrahms]

Well I am devastated, I loved the master.

I am shocked that he got banned, all in his great plan I imagine.

I sometimes contemplate getting banned so that I may do more than sit on a forum, but then I deviated away from it anyway so thats cool.

Anyway the master, I hope thats not the last I hear from you, love you like tummy cramps love a hot water bottle.

Peace as always.

p.s rockchick thread, never went on it but it was amusing to read all those who gave advice constantly, it did sort of turn into a persecution paradise and everyone played their roles perfectly.

P.p.s My lord when is roxy ruby gonna get banned, I been campaigning for it for ages over on fun and rec. Lordy lordy there is no justice.

p.p.p.s love you Roxy, Blarttthhhhhhhhhhh!

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by nicbrahms

P.p.s My lord when is roxy ruby gonna get banned, I been campaigning for it for ages over on fun and rec. Lordy lordy there is no justice.

p.p.p.s love you Roxy, Blarttthhhhhhhhhhh!

LOL well you came close!

Stevep suggested I be temporarily banned from the forums not too long ago!!! I think your campaigning and yelling about banning me may have started to have an effect. You are influencing people and getting into their mind with some sort of power of persuasion!

*I love you too MWA ^ ^

[James81]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Rockchick didn't make the first thread, but she did write in that one. She DID make the second thread and even refused to take responsibility for that.

Nobody held a gun against her head and made her answer. If she answers, she is participant in these forums and therefor has to follow the rules.

Which clearly state "No pity parties". Which includes if someone is unwilling to change or take responsibility for their actions.

There are far worse pity partiers around here than RockChick. RockChick kept her stuff pretty much to her own thread.

I understand the rule in terms of locking threads that just aren't going anywhere. But I just don't see where that's a bannable offense. Especially considering that she seemed to be more like a mild case of pity partying (not really going anywhere, but wasn't bringing her pity parties across the forums in hundreds of threads).

Then again, I only went into that thread once in a while, so perhaps I didn't get the full extent of RockChick's pity partying. Then again, the fact that I didn't go into her thread much (and only skimmed a bit here and there), and don't know much about her is a testament, I think, to what I'm saying.

It's not her fault that bunches of people couldn't stay out of her thread or back away when she was clearly resistant to advice.

[Angela]

I think Rockchick felt helpless about posting here -- if someone said something to or about her, she felt compelled to react in a post. She expressed some dismay about that more than once. She said she'd go out and do stuff if she didn't have to respond to all the things people were saying to her!

So in a very real way, I think banning her may be the best assistance for her. She is free now, at least from the constraints of this forum. I think this may give her some new perspective -- it might feel pretty uncomfortable at first, but it might also give her some new insight about what she's creating in her life, and what she'd like to create next.

And who knows, she may build real personal power for herself, and come back at some point.

[nicbrahms]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think Rockchick felt helpless about posting here -- if someone said something to or about her, she felt compelled to react in a post. She expressed some dismay about that more than once. She said she'd go out and do stuff if she didn't have to respond to all the things people were saying to her!

So in a very real way, I think banning her may be the best assistance for her. She is free now, at least from the constraints of this forum. I think this may give her some new perspective -- it might feel pretty uncomfortable at first, but it might also give her some new insight about what she's creating in her life, and what she'd like to create next.

And who knows, she may build real personal power for herself, and come back at some point.

Or she could just come back under the guise of a new membership.

If you did that Angela you could have a forum full of Angela's with different personas, and I would dutifully respond to every single one of them.

Ooooooooooooo! How exciting a forum full of Angelas, I gotta sit down, getting hot under the collar.

[MidasGirl]

I read the first couple of posts in that rockchick thread started by themaster, and got a headache. I never clicked on it again. Every time I clicked on "new posts" I'd see it come up, and it was up to like, I dunno, 5000 responses? I'd think, you've got to be ****ing kidding me!

[nicbrahms]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

I read the first couple of posts in that rockchick thread started by themaster, and got a headache. I never clicked on it again. Every time I clicked on "new posts" I'd see it come up, and it was up to like, I dunno, 5000 responses? I'd think, you've got to be ****ing kidding me!

If people are honest then they would admit they got their exasperated rocks off telling her off.

You will always be my master, the master.

Oh woe is me, the master is gone. Come back under the name of smurfpoop and no one will ever figure it out.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

I understand the rule in terms of locking threads that just aren't going anywhere. But I just don't see where that's a bannable offense. Especially considering that she seemed to be more like a mild case of pity partying (not really going anywhere, but wasn't bringing her pity parties across the forums in hundreds of threads).

There is a HUGE difference to people who throw pity parties every now and then, but in those same threads or in other threads do show signs of willingness to improve.

You may not think that pity parties are a bannable offense, but the owners of these forums do.... And I can say that it is one of the rules that in my eyes has made this forum what it is today. Not just like any place on the net where you come and whine about your life, but truly about personal development and moving forward!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

I'm not sure if banning those 2 forum members was a cruel enforcement of "rules just because they are the rules" or if it really was done because people on this forum were being hurt/damaged

Cruel enforcement of the rules?

That's really how you think of us mods? That we would just enforce the rules because they are the rules and be cruel about?

I get that you want to be nice and sweet to whoever you consider the underdog, but these comments aren't very nice for mods to read, especially since it took all day yesterday and quite some discussion leading up to it to come to this difficult decision of banning people who have been long term members.

Maybe you could consider that before you go around talking about those "poor banned people..."
If they would have followed the rules, they wouldn't be banned. That simple. And we gave them plenty of warning in advance.

[James81]

Originally Posted by ssandra

And I can say that it is one of the rules that in my eyes has made this forum what it is today. Not just like any place on the net where you come and whine about your life, but truly about personal development and moving forward!

I think the *need* to "move forward" is contrary to personal development, personally.

What if we have it backwards? What if it's RockChick who has it right in that she was being exactly who she was, with no influence to outside forces...and it's the rest of us who have it all wrong or have the problem?

I'm not saying that's true, but it's an interesting thought for me to entertain. This overwhelming need in personal development to CHANGE...to MOVE FORWARD...to create MASSIVE BREAKTHROUGHS....and only marginally come to terms with accepting yourself, and youre situations, exactly as they are.

There's a little phrase that sort of runs through my mind sometimes when I'm reading threads here:

Personal Development IS the virus!

(I'm not really playing devil's advocate...but I'm not necessarily asserting these things as "truth" either...just sort of entertaining some thoughts that arise when I think of this.)

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

I think the *need* to "move forward" is contrary to personal development, personally.

What if we have it backwards? What if it's RockChick who has it right in that she was being exactly who she was, with no influence to outside forces...and it's the rest of us who have it all wrong or have the problem?

I'm not saying that's true, but it's an interesting thought for me to entertain. This overwhelming need in personal development to CHANGE...to MOVE FORWARD...to create MASSIVE BREAKTHROUGHS....and only marginally come to terms with accepting yourself, and youre situations, exactly as they are.

There's a little phrase that sort of runs through my mind sometimes when I'm reading threads here:

Personal Development IS the virus!

(I'm not really playing devil's advocate...but I'm not necessarily asserting these things as "truth" either...just sort of entertaining some thoughts that arise when I think of this.)

That's ok. It is always interesting debating with you

The difference between feeling that you are perfect the way you are and don't want to change and throwing a pity party is exactly that.

Rockchick didn't think she was perfect the way she was. She felt trapped in her life, felt helpless to do anything about her financial situation, kept reading books half way and not implementing anything, AND (and this is where the pity party part comes in) kept complaining about her life!!

If she truly felt good about being who she was and where she was, there wouldn't be a need to complain.

Nobody NEEDS to move forward as I see it. Nobody NEEDS to do anything actually

But.... if you just want to do nothing AND complain about how much your life sucks... ? You have to find another medium to do this. I suggest facebook
Not that it is wrong to do this, it is simply that the owners of this forum (thankfully) decided that this wasn't the place for that.

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Cruel enforcement of the rules?

That's really how you think of us mods? That we would just enforce the rules because they are the rules and be cruel about?

I get that you want to be nice and sweet to whoever you consider the underdog, but these comments aren't very nice for mods to read, especially since it took all day yesterday and quite some discussion leading up to it to come to this difficult decision of banning people who have been long term members.

Maybe you could consider that before you go around talking about those "poor banned people..."
If they would have followed the rules, they wouldn't be banned. That simple. And we gave them plenty of warning in advance.

I also said I may not have enough information, I have seen more information now and see the reasons more clearly now so it makes sense.

I am sorry for speaking about enforcement of the rules here by the moderators as cruel. That was unthoughtful of me.

[moonrambler]

@ James -- I was going to say something very similar to what ssandra just wrote.

Perhaps everyone should have simply commiserated with Rockchick and said, "You're right. It's not you, it's the economy."

That isn't the mindset here though.

[Mounds]

@Sandra: For what it's worth, I think you guys made a good decision. If someone is warned repeatedly to stop a particular behavior, then their fate is in their own hands.

@James: I agree that it's not right to believe that you must always be moving forward in personal growth. I think that both TM and Rockchick were addicted to PD in their own ways. TM was addicted to sending out his message and Rockchick was addicted to recieving it. Probably better that both of them are gone. If they manage to stay away, it will probably help them in the long run.


-Tim

[James81]

Originally Posted by Mounds

TM was addicted to sending out his message and Rockchick was addicted to recieving it.

It's funny that you put it like that because I just thought yesterday that the best possible person for someone like themaster was RockChick. They went together like Spaghetti and Meatballs (or Lamb and Tuna Fish if you are more comfortable with that analogy ).

[ssandra]

Just for the record I want to mention that there was no relation between the banning of Rockchick and Themaster. They just happened to happen at the same time, that's all.

Edit: After all... if we would ban everybody who participated in the rockchick thread, these forums would be empty

[James81]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Just for the record I want to mention that there was no relation between the banning of Rockchick and Themaster. They just happened to happen at the same time, that's all.

Edit: After all... if we would ban everybody who participated in the rockchick thread, these forums would be empty

Maybe you should ban everybody BUT themaster and RockChick and just let them go at it for like 10 days straight.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by James81

Maybe you should ban everybody BUT themaster and RockChick and just let them go at it for like 10 days straight.

I personally think they should have taken that whole thing in private...which I reckon they can do now.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

I personally think they should have taken that whole thing in private...which I reckon they can do now.

*bow chicka bow wow*

[aabbcc]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

I personally think they should have taken that whole thing in private...which I reckon they can do now.

It had actually started out as a private conversation. From what I recall, themaster thought maybe more people could benefit by taking it public. I got a few things out of that monster thread. Folks did offer a lot of good suggestions.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by aabbcc

It had actually started out as a private conversation. From what I recall, themaster thought maybe more people could benefit by taking it public. I got a few things out of that monster thread. Folks did offer a lot of good suggestions.

Yes, I know, but I mean, instead of making a second thread, they could have taken it into a private discussion, since by that time most people seemed kind of fed up with going in circles.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

most people seemed kind of fed up with going in circles.

A collective gremlin!

[aabbcc]

Ah, yes. Well, I certainly can't disagree with that.

[MissEmpress]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Wow, I thought I was the only one who had this experience of him lol. It looks like most everyone writing here has had it in some form or another. Really, MissEmpress, you took the words right out of my mouth -and so have a lot of other people on this thread. Phew.

Lol, it's crazy. On one hand I know I have good intuition but on the other, I like to keep an open mind so I was like well I don't know this man, I am new here , so maybe it's just me and not "bad vibes". But I couldn't shake it...it was an unexplainable unnerving feeling and since I didn't "know" him I was more inclined to shrug it off.

However, in light of this thread I am even more confident and I trust my feelings about people, as again, it is never wrong. The only thing is that I often wait for "proof" before I finally allow myself to accept what I felt all along. But yea...in retrospect, if I feel that "vibe", there is never smoke without fire, and something comes up to confirm that I wasn't imagining it.

[Mounds]

I don't know about you guys but whenever I read a post by themaster, I would give him a Captain Kirk voice over. I could actually imagine him talking like that...

Captain's log, Stardate . Didn't sleep so well. Last night.

So very very tired

In fact, has anyone met TM in person? I'd imagine there would be a lot of smiling, lots of pauses and plenty of short sentences.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Mounds

I don't know about you guys but whenever I read a post by themaster, I would give him a Captain Kirk voice over. I could actually imagine him talking like that...


Captain's log, Stardate . Didn't sleep so well. Last night.

So very very tired

It's way funnier if you imagine him as Spock instead.

[Mounds]

I like to think of him as more dramatic. He's more of a William Shatner in my reality

[wolfgang]

I liked themaster for some reason. and rockchic. that said however, yes I had to put themaster on ignore because it seemed like the more I replied to him the more he would assume something or take something I wrote in a way that was not what I was saying. then I'd feel like rockchic might have been feeling, in her epic thread, trying to put the record straight for how I view things.

I thought if rockchic could ignore themaster she might not have been banned. but we all know rockchic was very good and replying to everyone.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

I thought if rockchic could ignore themaster she might not have been banned. but we all know rockchic was very good and replying to everyone.

If rochchick would have taken responsibility for something (anything!) she wouldn't have been banned.

Replying to everybody (and saying she has no choice, she feels like she HAS TO reply to everybody, even if they say she doesn't have to) is only one of many examples.