Next chapter of my life (continuation from my old thread)

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I never said I was a bad person or that I didn't like myself, YOU'RE saying that I'm saying that. If I really hated myself that much I wouldn't be alive right now. I know I'm just held back by my circumstances, but this doesn't make me a bad person.

No, you wouldn't! (be alive)

You’re not a bad person.. you just have a lot of "weight belts" on your body you don't even notice.. "consciously" (refer to the analogy of the ocean )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I hide mostly because I am too different from everyone else. My thoughts and beliefs and ideas are so different that in order to have conversations with people, I have to be fake. I have to pretend I'm interested in something or keep my mouth shut regarding my beliefs. I also hide because it takes my energy away being around people for too long. I feel myself when I'm alone. It has nothing to do with liking myself or not, because I talk to people the entire time I'm alone, on the internet. I'm not afraid to let them see me for who I am.

Yes, rockchick I understand..

Where we want to get you to is.. one day you’re not AFRAID to be yourself around other people.. that's maybe not a quick journey.. but it can happen!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well I did get 2 of them in the last 9 months, that's more than most unemployed people can say.

Yes, exactly I congratulate you on your manifestations.. I've very proud of you!

Not even my sister can say that..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You can't ground yourself while you're getting ready for work or trying to catch up on forums!!

Yes, you can! It can be done in as little as 10-30 seconds.. I do it all the time that fast..

Do you understand it's like practicing a skill??

It's like.. riding a bike or playing basketball.. you get better the more you practice.. why do you think I've wanted you to practice these tools so much?

You may not or NEVER! be able to relate your EGO to practicing these tools as changing you.. but they will change you..

You have a habit of quitting anything that doesn't work.. that's the habit that's killing you.. if you'd just keep at something.. you'd fine success! Even if you could never rationalize or marginalize or explain this success to the EGO..

I know how the EGO works.. it looks at life and says "I'm dying.. I have limited time in my life.." I'm only going to give my resources/time to things that matter.. but ironically some of things that would matter the most to you!

Your ego invalidates says.. "that's a waste of my time" "it doesn't work" let's go back and work on the things that I think will work.. but don't work!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I can't do my job search and get all frustrated and then quickly switch modes so I can do some spiritual work and then have my phone ring and get frustrated dealing with my dad...I need a lot of time to adjust to things. I don't even like planning more than one thing for each day. I don't like calling someone unless I know I have an hour or two free where I won't get distracted. I need to have a buffer of time in between each thing I do. I can't even go to bed until after I've wound down from whatever I was just doing. I take a long time to get going and a long time to slow down. So injecting a little spiritual work in here and there would be just like reading a page out of a book while you're in the middle of trying to cook dinner, you aren't going to really get into it, you'll probably forget what you read, and your mind won't even register the words because you are trying to remember how long your dinner has been in the oven for.!

This is all the EGO rationalizing "who you are" cut the crap!

You know you could make time.. you just KNOW IT!

Stop saying

- I'm limited not multi-tasking person.. I just have no time! I'm so busy doing what doesn't work.. I have no time for what might or does!

- I can't

- I won't

- I'm afraid

- I'm incapable

- I'm weak

- I'm lazy

- I like to chat, rather than do

The spiritual journey is not built on can't, won't, incapable, afraid, weak, lazy, rational ego'ing.. it's built on baby steps?

Where's your baby steps???

Make a step.. then another, then another!

Because even if we can get you healed.. clear some of this away for you.. you are going to have to take steps! To keep up your progress.. to keep up improving you..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I could throw any example at you and you would say "I wouldn't let it bother me." I give up. !

That's the truth rockhick!

I wake up the towers are falling.. why does everyone care?

I wake up.. there's a school shooting.. why does everyone care?

I wake up.. were at war? why does everyone care..

I wake up.. and there's oil spilling into the gulf.. why does everyone care?

That is the OUTSIDE.. what's going on with you is only what's most important!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

he will have to drop everything else to focus on Spanish!

No, he won't rockchick!

He will do spanish.. while he's arranging his wife’s funeral.. he will do spanish while he makes other decisions.. he will do spanish as his generals inform him of his war!

He will do spanish.. in congruence with his day.. it's a part of him.. it's a part of who he is.. it not less or more important than anything else he's doing!

As I said to you.. move the spiritual journey up to EQUAL footing with other things you’re doing.. it isn't just a spiritual journey.. it is love of yourself!

Move you up to being important enough to work on! Love and respect!

Rockchick you have a all or nothing attitude especially when it comes to spiritual journey and getting a job! The secret to life and a better one is.. that middle line in-between the too!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The survival instinct is part of the EGO!? That's a first to me. Well every human wants to survive, when you take away everything, that's everyone's basic need. Now you've just lost me with this ego thing and I completely disagree. If someone was lost in the desert and was near death from starving and not having water, would you tell them, "You don't need water or food, that's just your ego talking!"

Yes, I would

Rockchick from my perspective and perhaps not yours.. I understand that I create water and food.. I created the desert.. I created all these things..

I wouldn't mind telling myself that.. it may help!

Now in real world terms.. would this help..? probably not.. Just because most people believe like you just stated.. you need water and food to survive.. but actually you do not!

We have some interesting threads in spiritual forum (above) about people who have gone without food for 200+ days (I believe) etc. it's more than possible.. it's not impossible!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am more like a scientist than anyone I know! All I do is analyze myself and my life and my options! But there is a reason why we have perception of things, so we can do something about them. We have feelings for a reason, to alert us to something that needs our attention. You can't just sit back and say, "Ha! I've gained so much weight from sitting around that now I have diabetes, how interesting! Maybe I'll sit back and observe myself for the next year and see how long it takes my toes to fall off!"

Yes, rockchick you’re a great scientist.. for all the wrong reasons!

When I was talking observing was yourself.. I was talking about observing that scientist..

I was talking observing when you write this stuff..

- I'm a bad person!
- I'm a lazy person!
- I can't multi-task!
- I can't go to the bathroom unless these conditions are met!

I was talking about looking at yourself.. after a tantrum or after a conversation.. with a person.. and observe what you were really saying.. being NEUTRAL remove the emotions from the equation..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes but only if you can get back into another spoke (is that even the right word?) and not stay in the handle forever.

That is what would happen on your mothers couch? is it not?

Did you even notice what "aaronb" said?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Of course I feel negative when I say it, because I don't want it to happen! I'm sorry but I can't just say it and think positive about it when I don't want to do it.

Well, talk to me when "law of attraction" has given it to you then..

And we'll talk about again what a great manifester you are..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So, how can you say it's possible to do that, then you're disagreeing with them!

I didn't say that.. I absolutely agree with them..

To use the analogy of the ocean.. you can't go from 5,000 feet below to 1,000 feet below.. you got to make it 4,500 first..

However.. to be clear shortcuts/bypass's may be possible.. may be..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

What!? You think being unhealthy is a good thing? I 1000% percent disagree, if anyone else says those things I listed are good then we might as well give up this discussion now, that is where I cannot believe what you believe. I may not have much hope for my life but I can recognize my health slipping and I won't let anyone tell me it's ok to let yourself develop diseases and get fat..

I'm not telling you it's okay to develop diseases and get fat.. yet I am telling you it's okay..

It's okay to be lazy!

Rockchick, most disease doesn't come from sitting.. it comes from "hate of self"

I asked you to look at those statements as how much you were saying.. you "hate" yourself..

If we were to count the "negative" words you used to describe yourself.. I'd say it was 5-6 words.. in essence.. re-translating what you said.. you said

"I don't like me" "I don't like me" "I don't like me, why did I let my abs go? " "I don't like me" "I don't like me" "I really don't like me"

Would agree that it's a good idea for the body that you be positive all the time?

That by loving yourself.. your body reflects that love?

But if you say.. I hate me and my body and I'm lazy and I can't do nothing about.. that your body will reflect that?

I can guarantee rockchick, there are thousands of study's out there.. that show.. how we think about ourselves.. reflects in the body! And even in creating diseases!

Stop, calling yourself "bad"!

Move it to neutral.. I know I'm lazy, but my work does make me exercise.. I burn lots of calories there!

And one day you can move this to.. I love my body! I don't care what other people think.. I take walks with it, I buy it ice cream cones.. cause it's such a treat! I love me!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

but of course I am not going to talk about all the things I DO have, they aren't problems so they don't need to be talked about in here.

Rockchick, who says it's wrong to talk about the good things you have?

And what's wrong with it..??

Why not change your writing style from..

Rockchick: Everything sucks! Here are my problems

too..

Rockchick: I know this is silly.. but I'm going to talk about how much I love my fish and my computer and my non-working car.. and my flaky microwave!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Once again, I think you are taking everything I say literally like nothing in my life is good at all because of the things I am talking about in here.

Do you understand the idea that what your perceive and what you complain about.. you get more of??

Perhaps this is why I keep asking you to change your statements of

"this is how it is!"

to

"this is how it could be!"

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

You see this, themaster? There is something seriously amiss if someone you are helping has this attitude towards your help. Why do you ingratiate yourself so dramatically in the name of "helping" someone who doesn't even want your help? Why are you begging someone to help them, or to make them help themself?

Cause I care

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Here's some guidance from Abraham about giving advice and helping. He says that trying to help someone who is not open to it is like pushing a noodle, and this endeavor with rockchick does feel like pushing a noodle to me, and to others I think. (At the end of the video is just a long period of music with no more talking.)

That's the difference.. you seem to think rockchick doesn't want help..

The mere fact that she's still talking to me.. means she does!

If someone didn't want help.. they'd just disengage from me.. seen that happen a dozen times.. this is not that.. rockchick wants change and as long as she tells me consciously she does.. I will do my best to comply with her in alignment with my own bests intrests of course!

What may not be evident to most of you.. is many of you may not be willing to go the distance and length it takes to help her.. admittedly I may not be able to do that either! I'm just going to do the best I can..

Let’s take a look at that Abraham video..

When people ask for help?

Does rockchick fit this criteria..

Yes.

Rockchick came to this forum which is all a help forum.. rockchick said.. “my life is in shambles, help me!”

Rockchick came back to this thread and recently refreshed that same idea..

Abraham “Live through the power of your example”

Am I doing that? Check

Abraham “Whenever you try to answer a question that has not been asked.. imparting information to someone who is not asking for it.. is never a good idea”

I don’t see rockchick saying she’s not asking??

Her problem is.. it's not working! (accorinding to her)

Big difference.. rockchick still wants it to succeed.. she still wants the change “new age” has promised

I’m gonna stop at minute 1:35 Bliss.. I think you should re-read or re-analyze your interpretation of this situation..

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

"Only try to help someone when you are turned downstream."

I don't feel negative.. helping rockchick.. I feel great! I feel fine.. I feel beautiful (my emotional self just doing a little peaking )

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Anyone trying to help rockchick is turned upstream, and that is our objection to continuing this.

That is your incorrect assessment/energy of the situation..

I live abraham's principals.. but thanks for testing me on them.. (little check and balance there.. ehh? )

[themaster]

Originally Posted by James81

Could you reconcile these two statements for me?

Sure

Originally Posted by themaster

Just let, rockchick be rockhick..

I said let rockchick.. do her thing!

Does that work/help?

(I see now.. there is a spelling mistake.. I assume that's not what your referring too.. )

Originally Posted by themaster

back to helping rockchick..

I said back to posting.. back to posting "help" for rockchick.. ideas/information.. sharing..

Once again..

does that work/help?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by aabbcc

I wondered about that too. I remember being quite impressed with some stuff he wrote elsewhere a while ago and thinking that I could learn something from him. I attempted to initiate a conversation with him a couple of times. That went nowhere quite quickly. I guess I'm not needy enough.

You can start a thread.. pm me.. don't matter.. I'm available.. (long as I'm available )

[James81]

Originally Posted by themaster

does that work/help?

Not really.

Because, reading her posts (especially in this thread), it seems pretty clear that she doesn't want help. That is, she only started this thread because you told her to (and that you'd start a new one for her if she didn't). And she didn't even start the last one.

So by helping her, sharing with her, you're actually going against her own wishes. Which, to me, does not seem like letting her be who she is.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by themaster

Cause I care

That's the difference.. you seem to think rockchick doesn't want help..

The mere fact that she's still talking to me.. means she does!

If someone didn't want help.. they'd just disengage from me.. seen that happen a dozen times.. this is not that.. rockchick wants change and as long as she tells me consciously she does.. I will do my best to comply with her in alignment with my own bests intrests of course!

What may not be evident to most of you.. is many of you may not be willing to go the distance and length it takes to help her.. admittedly I may not be able to do that either! I'm just going to do the best I can..

Let’s take a look at that Abraham video..

When people ask for help?

Does rockchick fit this criteria..

Yes.

Rockchick came to this forum which is all a help forum.. rockchick said.. “my life is in shambles, help me!”

Rockchick came back to this thread and recently refreshed that same idea..

Abraham “Live through the power of your example”

Am I doing that? Check

Abraham “Whenever you try to answer a question that has not been asked.. imparting information to someone who is not asking for it.. is never a good idea”

I don’t see rockchick saying she’s not asking??

Her problem is.. it's not working! (accorinding to her)

Big difference.. rockchick still wants it to succeed.. she still wants the change “new age” has promised

I’m gonna stop at minute 1:35 Bliss.. I think you should re-read or re-analyze your interpretation of this situation..
I don't feel negative.. helping rockchick.. I feel great! I feel fine.. I feel beautiful (my emotional self just doing a little peaking ) That is your incorrect assessment/energy of the situation..

I live abraham's principals.. but thanks for testing me on them.. (little check and balance there.. ehh? )

Actually, I find your assessment of rockchick to be inaccurate. On the surface, she appears to be everything you have said, and that is why people started out trying to help her.

After a while of her making excuses of why she "can't," and rejecting everyone's suggestions and attempts to help, everyone else acquired insight into the true nature of the situation, which is that she is getting some sort of emotional pay-off from perpetuating this vicious circle, which you are still interpreting as her asking for/wanting help.

It is also becoming apparent that others who have sought your help or saw they could benefit from your knowledge or input have already been neglected by you. Given that fact and the fact that you are so dedicated to perpetuating the vicious circle, instead of implementing some tangible helping of others who are ready and asking, I feel quite sure that you are also getting some sort of psychological pay-off from perpetuating the circle and the situation.

Very few things in life are what they appear to be on the surface, most especially when dealing with human psychology.

Anyway, good luck in the circle. May you find your way out one day, at least if you ever want to. You seem quite happy there, though, so I guess it's nice that you both found each other. Perhaps this would be more suitable for a private venue in this case? I understood it was originally private.

[technorani]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm not sure...I really only did it because he begged me to I do feel a lot better today though but probably because I didn't have to work, I went for a walk, and i've been doing a lot of yoga and light working out, which I haven't done in months.

I'm also starting to naturally feel (as opposed to forcing myself to feel) like I should just say screw everything and move out of here and just keep my job at the B&B, live at my mom's, and save up for all the things I've been wanting to do. That includes going on an Ayurvedic retreat, taking classes at the local community college, taking those online classes (personal chef & that travel writing/photography class I found from Themaster's link), going on a local personal retreat, working on an organic farm in the spring, go to Glastonbury, England, and maybe some other things I can't remember right now. But the reason why this is sounding good to me now is because I realize I won't get to do those things if I get a full time job. Normally it takes about a year to just get a week's vacation, and if I lived with my mom now and worked part time, saving everything, I could do something different like every other month! I would be able to save about $500 a month for whatever I want to do next. The more I think about this, the more it brings up excitement inside me. But, I'm also afraid I'll lose the spark again. Normally things are only exciting to me for the first moments. But, we'll see. I have a few weeks to decide. Well actually I can decide even after that, unless I get a full time job first. And in that case, I'll be happy that I won't have to move out, and then I can truly relax and work on a career I want to do, if that is possible But maybe it won't be so hard if I'm not pressed for time like I have been. Maybe I'll be more interested in following up with my plan once I would be choosing to do it rather than being forced to do it for money.

--

perhaps you should stop expecting to lose interest?
move to your mums place. start another part time job and only come here when those things happen?
and only report the things u like? and resist the urge to talk abt the 'meh' things for a bit? because all of us have things we dont like....going on.
you need compassion and love but losing interest in things is because u expect to lose interest. Passion isnt an automatic thing, everybody works at infusing passion back into the things we love or used to love because from time to time life gets u down and things go BLAH.

try to stop expecting to lose interest. and if u still feel like nothing ever working out or whatever, u shouldnt come to this website! because it seems you're aggravating ppl with you inability to help yourself.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by James81

Not really.

Because, reading her posts (especially in this thread), it seems pretty clear that she doesn't want help.

So what if it is??

I don't understand james.. you understand from my perspective this is judgment!

If you see a homeless man on the street saying "the world will end in 8 days!" do you walk up to him and argue with that fact..

or do you pass on by?

Why did you not pass on by??

Originally Posted by James81

That is, she only started this thread because you told her to (and that you'd start a new one for her if she didn't). And she didn't even start the last one.

I didn't tell her to do it.. I passively persuaded her in my writing style..

Telling her that the name "nothing works for me" is not a positive intention.. and that her starting a post with a "positive intention" her ACT of creation will set the ENERGY for her change..

I don't think I said.. I would start a new one for her if she didn't.. but I may have chose to do that.. if she didn't.. doesn't mean she had to choose to engage me in that thread..

Do you feel like this argument is a "whole lot of nothing" cause that's how it reads to me?

It's like semantics.. a tissel a tassel.. no the sign said $1.99 I refuse to pay $2.29

Originally Posted by James81

So by helping her, sharing with her, you're actually going against her own wishes. Which, to me, does not seem like letting her be who she is.

If rockchick wants to engage she is free to do so.. I am no ones keeper!

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Actually, I find your assessment of rockchick to be inaccurate. On the surface, she appears to be everything you have said, and that is why people started out trying to help her.

Rockchick, needs to engage a journey "do it" do you understand?

It's quite obvious to me that "workout buddy" didn't work.. lots of advice and practice this "didn't work" it still might.. and my goals have shifted to the idea of "energy" and healing..

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

After a while of her making excuses of why she "can't," and rejecting everyone's suggestions and attempts to help, everyone else acquired insight into the true nature of the situation, which is that she is getting some sort of emotional pay-off from perpetuating this vicious circle, which you are still interpreting as her asking for/wanting help.

This is your own problem.. many of you believe there is some sort of game where people will attach to your "emotions" want to hear good things.. but do nothing about it!

And your not wrong.. doesn't matter!

I don't discount or give discredit to anyone playing this game.. deep down inside even if you were playing this game.. you still want to fix it.. cause it's limiting! Cause it's not fun, cause there is pain..

Rockchick, can very well be playing this game.. and she may have played it on all of you.. this doesn't mean I turn my heart on her.. call her bad!

Rockchick is one of us! She's a human.. she's a creator god.. she's just as worthy of love as you or anybody else.. (you really did it now! My emotional self is po'd )

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

It is also becoming apparent that others who have sought your help or saw they could benefit from your knowledge or input have already been neglected by you.

Ohh.. okay.. now I'm bad for ignoring others?

I don't have to help anyone! I choose to help who I want.. if I did reject someone.. that doesn't mean they can't try again.. and this time the door may be open!

Pull yourself off your high morality ground Bliss Sage and make us equal because we are.. and then make Rockchick equal cause she is!

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Given that fact and the fact that you are so dedicated to perpetuating the vicious circle, instead of implementing some tangible helping of others who are ready and asking, I feel quite sure that you are also getting some sort of psychological pay-off from perpetuating the circle and the situation.

lol.. called me bad again

You a naughty boy..

Feel free Bliss Sage to put me in some box where I'm bad.. and Rockchick is bad.. and that's ones bad and this one’s bad!

But since your so into abraham.. you might recognize that pattern

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Anyway, good luck in the circle.

Thanks!

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

May you find your way out one day

Judgment #3 anybody? (could be 4? I lost count.. )

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Perhaps this would be more suitable for a private venue in this case? I understood it was originally private.

Rockchick, may need to be helped privately, yes..

(again if she chooses)

I hope that one day you get to look at your words and are helped too.. it is after all what my vibration is all about.. (some of it anyway! )

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

AaronB said:

By the end of the day? Wow I need to know how you're doing this. You're reversing an almost lifelong pattern in one night, or at least by Thursday...(I have to admit I almost laughed thinking you were joking), you have to keep us updated on this!!

The clarity that has been showing up for me really is amazing. I have often experienced a sense of guilt about not doing what I'm supposed to do, meanwhile I feel exasperated every time I do something I don't want to do. To see this catch 22 for what it is already brings me a tremendous amount of relief. I finally start to see that this will never work out given my current level of understanding.

Here's a huge impact decision: The recognition that I am living by a limiting pattern and the decision that I will not live under this constricting pattern anymore. This decision has become my life for the past 3 or 4 days. I watch this pattern like a hawk. I test it. Sometimes I do something I don't want to do just to observe the pattern. The pattern of resistance to any activity not deemed worthy now shows up with a spotlight on it every time. It's like the pattern can not sneak up on me anymore and subtly slip underneath the radar. It's obvious. It tries to sneak in and then a band begins to play loudly every time it's presence is seen. It's reeking havoc on the pattern that depended on being hidden and me feeling a background sense of guilt. I'm not guilty anymore, just recognizing my own failure to see what is driving me.

I may not know exactly what motivates me or demotivates me yet, but the sense of shame and guilt and not doing enough is gone. Yesterday it was incredibly joyful for me to just ask my mom if there was anything I can do for her and do it. Regardless if it felt valuable or efficient or not. My focus was on finding peace with doing rather than focusing on accomplishing something valuable according to my own ridiculously high and vague standards of what valuable means.

This morning I was talking to my mom, who I learned this pattern from at a young age, that I would enjoy moving a pile of dirt a pebble at a time for no reason other than I can do it without feeling conflicted about it. She told me when she was very little she would often have nightmares that involved situations like moving a mountain with a teaspoon. These dreams would disturb her so much she would go to her mother's room in tears. As I discuss my willingness to be free from whatever it is that is blocking me from being able to live fully in a joyful and relaxed way, she is becoming more aware as well and seems to feel a lot of relief just by seeing herself more clearly without any judgment. Unlike me she still pushes herself to accomplish her tasks in spite of any internal resistance she feels. But we really do have a very similar experience underneath, even though she would be seen as always busy and I would be seen as always lazy.

[James81]

Originally Posted by themaster

I don't understand james.. you understand from my perspective this is judgment!

I do understand that, yes. From my perspective, it seems, that you tend to pull out the "this is a judgment" card when faced with a bit of confrontation. Not that I am confronting you, I really am just trying to figure out how in one post you want to let RockChick be who she is, but in most of your other posts, it seems pretty clear that you are trying to "help" her. I don't think that help is necessary for someone to be who they are. Typically, encouragement and sharing are involved with that.

I could easily say that your decision to "help" is also a judgment. But I don't view all judgments as things to avoid.

Originally Posted by themaster

If you see a homeless man on the street saying "the world will end in 8 days!" do you walk up to him and argue with that fact..

or do you pass on by?

Why did you not pass on by??I didn't tell her to do it.. I passively persuaded her in my writing style..

I would do neither, actually. That is, I wouldn't argue that fact with him (he's free to believe what he wants), but I probably wouldn't pass on by either. I might say "How you doin?" and be friendly with him. I might give him the change in my pocket if he asked. I might talk to him about the weather. It is possible I might pass on by, but those aren't the only two choices I would consider.

Originally Posted by themaster

Telling her that the name "nothing works for me" is not a positive intention.. and that her starting a post with a "positive intention" her ACT of creation will set the ENERGY for her change..

Perhaps you're right about that.

Originally Posted by themaster

I don't think I said.. I would start a new one for her if she didn't.. but I may have chose to do that.. if she didn't.. doesn't mean she had to choose to engage me in that thread..

She has pretty adamently stated in this thread several times that you said you would start the thread for her if she didn't. So, something you said was perceived in that manner.

Originally Posted by themaster

Do you feel like this argument is a "whole lot of nothing" cause that's how it reads to me?

I'm not arguing you with actually. Just trying to understand a few things.

I do see "a whole lot of nothing" as another judgment (just to point that out to you since you seem to want to avoid using judgments, not that I think using judgments is bad).

[Bliss Sage]

For the record, I never called or implied or judged anyone "bad" here. Without considering the potential veracity of any of them, you pass judgment on all of my observations and my points and attribute negative emotions to them which are not there.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Anyway, all the best.

These kinds of sign offs actually crack me up when I see them. I've done this myself a few times. Sometimes after a heated debate, I'll sign off with a "take care" or a "all the best" or whatever, but what I'm really thinking is "Go to hell ****face."

[HeartExalted]

Remember, the more you actively object to this thread's existence (by continuing to type out and post your objections), the more energy you are devoting to it. And, the more energy you devote to this thread, the more deeply you bring it into your life.

Everyone who is posting to say that Rockchick and themaster have a "vicious circle" going on, or that she does not want to be helped...you are actually attracting this entire scenario into your own life for some reason. Certainly, for whatever reasons, I have attracted this thread into my life, as well.

Why are you objecting to the thread's existence or to the alleged "vicious circle"?
Why am I objecting to your objections?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by James81

I do understand that, yes. From my perspective, it seems, that you tend to pull out the "this is a judgment" card when faced with a bit of confrontation. Not that I am confronting you, I really am just trying to figure out how in one post you want to let RockChick be who she is, but in most of your other posts, it seems pretty clear that you are trying to "help" her. I don't think that help is necessary for someone to be who they are.

And I agree.. so???

Originally Posted by James81

I could easily say that your decision to "help" is also a judgment. But I don't view all judgments as things to avoid.

Yes, I see that label.. remember judgment is polarity.. observation is neutral..

If I'm observing someone in "pain" and I have a remedy or can point them in a good direction.. what's wrong with helping out a fellow "one" with that?

Originally Posted by James81

IShe has pretty adamently stated in this thread several times that you said you would start the thread for her if she didn't. So, something you said was perceived in that manner.

Once again your making a mole hill out of a ant hill

(rockchick was just defending herself.. you realize that many of the posts were attacks/accusations right?)

What really surprises me is how rockchick kind of bends to people will.. or at least defends herself.. she doesn’t get “angry” about it or anything.. or negative.. she becomes very neutral.. it’s actually highly surprising to her character and probably what I love about her.. (little emotional self ) it’s more like she says.. I’m just learning.. I’m a newbie..

To be clear rockchick's representation of what I said.. I would not call accurate.. you are welcome to read the other thread.. to judge/see for yourself

Originally Posted by James81

I'm not arguing you with actually. Just trying to understand a few things.

I do see "a whole lot of nothing" as another judgment (just to point that out to you since you seem to want to avoid using judgments, not that I think using judgments is bad).

Keep pointing.. I'll explore with you wherever this leads..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by James81

These kinds of sign offs actually crack me up when I see them. I've done this myself a few times. Sometimes after a heated debate, I'll sign off with a "take care" or a "all the best" or whatever, but what I'm really thinking is "Go to hell ****face."

lol

Thanks for the retranslation

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

Or, if I were emotional about it, I might also use a lot of the smiley faces, like themaster does, in an attempt to appear like I'm not angry or upset.

That's another judgment I get a lot off..

Do you want me to explain your polarity here..?

You imply that I am hiding my "angry or upset" by using smiley faces.. that is a negative polarity.. a feeling of lack

Basically your saying.. "I'm full of lack" when by mirror the opposite is true.. "you are full of lack!" I very much enjoy using abrahams word this way..

Take it easy Bliss Sage.. just reflect on what you read here.. that is all.. I ask nothing else.. (and you don't have listen to me obviously!) no need to post or say anything!

[escapeplan]

Master, I sometimes find the meaning of your statements lost in your bullet point approach to posts. It's hard on my eyes to look at and while my brain wants to absorb, I have difficulty in interpreting your message.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

Master, I sometimes find the meaning of your statements lost in your bullet point approach to posts. It's hard on my eyes to look at and while my brain wants to absorb, I have difficulty in interpreting your message.

I understand.. I know what you mean..

Don't worry been there.. done that! got the cheesecake!

When you start that thread of yours about loa.. I'd like to have a talk with you.. since I recently noticed you in my awareness

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Jonathan Browne

You gotta realize you'll lose your spark for things sometimes but you just have to spark it up again and try lighting that fire one more time.

Sometimes you try to start a fire and it fails. So you light another match, throw on some more tinder and try again.

Don't give up on finding that one thing your gonna love doing just because you didn't end up becoming a personal chef.

I am not just talking about the personal chef thing. I'm talking about everything, the music thing, the writing thing, the photography thing, the movie thing, and even small daily things, every single thing I do I usually give up on because it ends up not feeling right.

You should read my article entitled How to Find Your Passion in 15 Minutes, it might help you. It's on my blog, which you can find in my signature.

I will look into that, I'm just very skeptical because I've done stuff like this so many times, in fact I spent $30 on this program guaranteed to help you find your dream job. All it did was tell me what I already knew, what all my dream jobs were. Like all 20 of them. That's how it always ends up, no matter what book I read, or what program I use, or what professional or psychic I talk to, they tell me I have so many things I can do, but I already knew that and that's why I'm paralyzed. The problem isn't that I don't know what my passions are, it's that I can't choose one or two or even three and then I just get frozen with indecisiveness and think if I can't do all of them, I don't want to do any.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by themaster

I understand.. I know what you mean..

Don't worry been there.. done that! got the cheesecake!

When you start that thread of yours about loa.. I'd like to have a talk with you.. since I recently noticed you in my awareness

Then you should have noticed I already started the thread in character and contribution!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

What is with all the judgments?

Jesus! (yes, it's time for blasphemy!)

What is this..??

Rockchick says: I want to change my life

Chorus: She's crying wolf again

Chorus: I wouldn't believe her ever!

Chorus: She's a bad one, she is!

Just let, rockchick be rockhick.. I asked her to start this thread as a intention.. now the best she could come up with is "next chapter of my life" rather than say "my new happy life" but that's still a intention..

Change is brought about through acting.. not just talk!

What kind of personal development forum are we??

I mean really.. I say I channel.. everyone’s like yah right!!!

Rockchick says "Next chapter in my life" and everyone says.. your full of crap!

Shame on you!

We can do better people!

You are one of the few people here who must have a seemingly endless river of understanding and patience!

I thought "next chapter in my life" was a good one, I didn't want to title it something better because my track record says it'll be the same as the old one...not that there weren't breakthroughs in there, but obviously the thing I need to fix is still broken. (I know you'll say, i'm not broken, i'm fine the way I am) but lets just say my happiness is broken then, how about that?

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well, how about 5?

This pleases the Mounds. You deserve a pat on the back for that!

What I like about it is that you went out and did something positive to change your situation. What can you do today to change it?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

I admire your sticktuitive-ness and your heart, but people who seek to help others usually wisely move on when it becomes clear that a particular individual they are trying to help isn't at a place on her path where she can or will be helped at the moment.

In addition to heart, you have to, therefore, also have wisdom to effectively help someone.

This world is full of people who need help, and dwelling on one person who is not having it is unfair to the world of other people who may be chaffing at the bit to get your help, but who will never get it because you are hell-bent on forcing your help on this one, who is not having it.

Even as you are aware that she is not doing anything, you still want to continue. I bet, if you wanted to, you could find someone in this world who would gratefully accept your help and use it in the same amount of time that you are going to spend the next weeks writing to rockchick on this thread.

I actually understand what you are saying. But I just have to say this then: Yes there are other people out there who need help as much (or more) than I do and would probably do anything anybody tells them to change, but where are they? If they aren't on this thread, you can't help them. It's just easier to help those who already are where you are.

I'm really more curious about what your stake in "helping" her is, because this sort of insistence is usually only seen when there is some kind of emotional stake involved. Usually we don't give up only on family members or spouses, and that's understandable.

I've wondered this too! He does seem to have a preoccupation with me specifically! Does he help other people this adamantly?

I don't think this is helping at this point; I think this has become enabling. And I think therein lies most people's tiredness of this whole endeavor.

I'm tired of it too, that's why I didn't post in here for a few months, and went elsewhere. Then I was told "elsewhere" was feeding me a bunch of garbage and I should have stayed in here

[AaronB]

I like this thread. I really like James comments about judgment and teaching and all that. It does seem to me that there is some underlying tension in what is being communicated and James seems to be seeing that as well.

1: I think it would help you to see things this way.
2: But I see things that way.
1: That's because you don't know what I mean when I say see things this way.
2: I do know what you mean, but I still see things that way anyway.
1: Well that's why your life sucks.
2: No my life sucks for other reasons.

In many cases person 1 actually sees what is causing difficulty for person 2, but person 2 may not be able to understand it at this time. Many times person 2 is highly motivated to not understand what person 1 is saying, because to agree with person 1 would be felt as accepting defeat. The more energy person 2 has put into establishing their stance as being valid, the more they might feel that they are invalid if they ever give up that position.

I often protect my position rather than seek to see what is true. For me a sign that that I'm protecting my position is an eagerness to demonstrate something to somebody else with a sense of excitement rather than feeling relaxed.

[Mounds]

I'm going to make a brief argument here and see where it leads. This isn't to criticize everyone, it's to try and get us to help in a different way.
I think there's a lot of these types of responses:

1. "Ok RC, here's what I think your doing wrong and here's how I think you can solve it". Followed by essay.

2. "What's the matter with you RC? Why can't you figure this out?" Followed by throwing hands up in the air in frustration.

3. "Think about your limiting beliefs and the root cause of your problems..." Followed by philosophical journey.

Judging by the bulging thread we left behind and the one that is starting here, I'm guessing that's not terribly effective. How about trying some positive reinforcement? Whenever RC gets on the right path, praise it. Praise it to high heaven and ask for more of that good stuff. Don't drag more and more issues out into the light.
Give yourself some of that positive reinforcement Rockchick. I'm sooo happy for you to hear that you handed out those resumes. You definitely deserve a pat on the back.

-Tim

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

In plain logic.. sending out hate.. gets right back to you! It hurts you! It doesn't hurt them.. live and let live.. balance yourself.. release hate!

I understand that, my dad doesn't feel the negativity I feel towards him, he has enough of that already! But I don't know how to just stop feeling things. It's like you're asking me to be a robot.

Imagine that there's a 1,000 of you right..? (well, there's more than that!)

And your all weighed down again with "I don't like me's" and judgments and different things..

If you don't clear these weights.. these weights will kill you! Why?

Because negativity and "I'm not okay!" moves from your mental space into your physical space.. manifesting as Cancer, Diabetes, whatever..

Dr. Wayne Dyer got cancer though, and as I'm sure you know, he has never had those "I dont like me" thoughts. What about how they can prove a certain type of diet or food causes cancer, or lack of exercise? How can you explain all that then? And why do some people walk around like a black cloud yet they are healthy as an ox?

I love to believe in these types of things, but then I see proof that it isn't exactly so. I want to believe in all this stuff, which is why my skeptical mind is always trying to figure out how it can be possible when (fill in the blank). I'm always trying to reconcile things that I want to be true, but there is solid proof they can't exist together!

What I'm saying is.. it blocks the "physical" it' blocks "emotional" and it blocks "spiritual" because it says.. "I have to do their jobs!"

I think you just said the right thing to make this click for me. So basically the ego is any type of thinking that gets in the way of your body and soul? But I am still confused about the emotional thing, because you said the ego blocks the emotional, well I'm full of emotions so that must mean thats not my ego...well now I guess i'm still confused, I can see

My teacher released a new EGO packet.. let me see if I can find it for you..

Sent it to you.. maybe it'll help

Oh, in my private message box? I forgot I had another one in there but I didn't check yet, I always answer replies first and then I forget about the PM's!

I don't know rockchick.. sometimes I'm amazed you make it out your door

This is the general view that most people have of me, and I hate that. I think people exaggerate. I mean look at what I've done, I've lived away from my parents for 10 years, I've had 4 jobs, I've gone on vacations without my family (one of them totally alone, for 3 days), I've gone to over 100 concerts, half of them by myself. I am not as incompetent as people think, at least not in every area of life.

Rockchick, you clearly have what the psychologists would call "neurosis’s" and all we really need to do is make you more conscious of you and why you are that way.. to help you release it.. we'll see what we can do..

Oh yeah that's no surprise, neurosis's, different anxieties, well now I'm thinking...where did that stuff come from...they say you have your personality pretty much set by the time you're 7, everything about you will already be in place, so...if I didn't inherit these problems, could they be from my diet? I eat better now than I ever did though and it's getting worse so I don't think it's that.

It's not inherited.. it's a CONSCIOUS choice when you recognize your doing it..

But why would I choose to be neurotic and full of anxiety?

Make a conscious choice to "feel the better feeling thought" make a conscious choice "to see the good in people and everything!" make a conscious choice to be positive To love, laugh and play..

That's easier said than done. I can do that for a few minutes but it doesn't affect the overall problem in the long run. It's my going outside in the winter analogy, it's just too overwhelming and obvious and impossible to ignore.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Mounds

How about trying some positive reinforcement?

I think you may have missed a chunk of that other thread, Tim.

[Parthon]

Just a few points:

1) More time and energy have been spent on helping Rockchick than anyone else on the forum. For real.

2) We all want to see Rockchick succeed because she's such a wonderful person.

3) Rockchick has progressed quite a bit since she first joined the forums, and it's great to see. But it hasn't been that fast. She gathers up an enormous amount of advice before she takes action. She has a not-small level of resistance.

4) All this time and energy is coming from people who could better use it other ways. We aren't sure how much more time and energy it will take for Rockchick to finally gain full control and responsibility for herself so she can start generating the time and energy herself for her life. It could be tomorrow(I hope) or it could be a decade.

5) Because of this, people stop helping. Sometimes the people helping rise above the level where they can be of help. Perhaps they move on from the forum and go other places. Often they restructure where their energy goes.

6) None of this is personal to Rockchick in any way. I'm sure if she knew how to have the life she wanted she'd be utterly for it in a massive way. Just there are rocks on the path, that are in the way. Massive, giant, immovable rocks.

For all of those here: If you want to help and can, help! If you don't want to or can't, don't!

Addenum: I'm totally full of myself btw. I wrote this just to express my limited view. I hope you all understand as well.

RC: You are a wonderful and fantastic human being, flawed as all of us, but perfectly complete just the way you are. There no way you have to be, nothing you have to do, other than just be yourself. This world isn't a cage, it's an opportunity, but we all miss seeing that in this whole "gotta do something" world of ours. We come here to experience and live, not to work and die. Come live with us, it's fantastic.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I actually understand what you are saying. But I just have to say this then: Yes there are other people out there who need help as much (or more) than I do and would probably do anything anybody tells them to change, but where are they? If they aren't on this thread, you can't help them. It's just easier to help those who already are where you are.



I've wondered this too! He does seem to have a preoccupation with me specifically! Does he help other people this adamantly?



I'm tired of it too, that's why I didn't post in here for a few months, and went elsewhere. Then I was told "elsewhere" was feeding me a bunch of garbage and I should have stayed in here

Lol. You actually get all this! I'll wish you good luck instead, then, since the other posters on this thread have decided that any well-wishing is some kind of warped, suppressed expression of hostility and anger. Just goes to show how insincere people have become accustomed to being.

Too funny, you "were told" that "elsewhere" was feeding you a bunch of garbage lol.

Now I see much more clearly what is really going on in this "helping" situation.
Truly, I wish you luck, and I hope you will stick up for yourself if "someone" starts to push you too much in directions you don't feel ready or comfortable to go in.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

You see this, themaster? There is something seriously amiss if someone you are helping has this attitude towards your help. Why do you ingratiate yourself so dramatically in the name of "helping" someone who doesn't even want your help? Why are you begging someone to help them, or to make them help themself?

I am not rejecting his help, I was just saying I was fine with the other thread continuing. Starting a new thread has nothing to do with the actual help I'm getting. (which I do appreciate)

Here's some guidance from Abraham about giving advice and helping. He says that trying to help someone who is not open to it is like pushing a noodle, and this endeavor with rockchick does feel like pushing a noodle to me, and to others I think. (At the end of the video is just a long period of music with no more talking.)

YouTube - Abraham: Teach them only when "they' ask...

"When they're ready, they will come."
"Only try to help someone when you are turned downstream."

Anyone trying to help rockchick is turned upstream, and that is our objection to continuing this.

The flaw in your thinking here is that I DO want help. Why would I come in here if I didn't? It only appears that I don't because I'm always countering with an opposite statement but that's just because I have to explain why these suggestions don't work for me in the first place. I feel like a blind person who wants to see but was born with no eyeballs. And everyone is telling me "just look, dont think about the fact that you have no eyes!" Thats how hard this feels to me.

However, I suspect that you and she together are engaged in some kind of mutual ever-turning circle that each of you are getting some kind of "reward" or "pay-off" from.

What I get from this isn't limited to him, my pay off from posting in here in general is that this is the closest thing to therapy I can get. And I have been in other forums but like Themaster said, they don't think outside of the box, and I want to learn from smart people, not people just like myself. So basically I come here because I want to be like all of you but I struggle because I'm not like all of you.