Does this make sense?

[Diandra25]

ive been pondering in somethin...as it has to do with IM i think this is the right place to share.

Ok so ive been reading the BL book and im on page 151 still.

In this precise moment in my life,i started reading Bl and it is the perfect time for doing so.

im not doing the process to have more money or to turn my life to better..not in a conscious way- im doing so in order to know the Truth and to live by it- i really am starting to see the magic that there IS and i want to lay with it.

to have fun and live life with a childlike feeling and behaviour ( you know what i mean).

moments ago a thought came to my Mind: this is all an Illusion and in that order,so the debts i have in my name ARE.

tHOSE DEBTS are in my name although it wasnt my persona who made it ( was my FATHER through a busines he had where i put my name on it).for years ive been solifying anger,regrets,doubts,all sort of not that positive things within me,just cause i felt angry at the world.by with only 27 years old having a huge ammount of "weight" in my shoulders.

i started withrawing and unconsciously i held strong bad feelings torwards my fATHER that didnt do the best thing for Me.

BUT!

a thought came to My mind: i signed the papers in 2005,when i was still studying at College.i was almost graduating and my Father told me that it was a temporary thing,that my name was there for a short period of time and that when i finished school i could get out my name to put him.

Hppened that i finished in 2006 and still my name coundlt be retired because my father was still in that period of time,that he was forbidden to have business in his name.along with My Mother.there was no one more to hae the name there,but only Me.
Times passed,and only he closed the business last year,already with huge debts.

According to the BL - i created all this unconsciously-and only today i saw the WHY.

the course i was having was not the one of my true excitement.I was studying only to have a degree,i never sincerely wanted to work in that field.It wasnt my Passion and i didnt wanted to be another unhappy person working from 9- to 18pm in something that didnt enjoyed.

So....when i finished the course,my country was already in Crisis,and i could do interns payd by the State cause im in debt with Social Security and Finances.I was not able to sign in in the Employment CENTER cause i did an illegal thing by giving my name to a business where i was never in.

Unconsciously,i created the debt in order not to work in what i studied for.


Suddently that is the conclusion i get! it makses lots of sense now.and im really really surprised to see this.

[Parthon]

Unconsciously creating creating something you don't want in order to avoid something else you don't want? That sounds like LoA.

We'll unintentionally create barriers that force our path off one that we don't like. The trick is recognizing it. Most people just sit there on the side of the road complaining about it, or try and break the barrier down, rather than turning around and going back on the path that's set for them.

The debt isn't real anyways, it only exists in a conversation between you, your family and the people you owe the money to. It's written down on papers and saved in computer systems, but that's just more of the conversation. People will just up and down believing it to be real, but it's only as real as people talk it into reality. If it were real you could point to it, like a tree or a person, but in reality it's a number on a piece of paper. A number that doesn't mean anything.

You will still have to deal with it though, but it just means that you own the debt, the debt does not own you. You are real, it's not, and it doesn't have any control over you.

[Federer]

You have to excuse me. What is BL? New word to my ear.

[Diandra25]

Parthon

well that is about it:im real,the experience is real,but the debt is not.So now im on my way to reclaim power from that creation.

im wondering if till now i wasnt able to because ive never really saw where or why did it come in for the 1st place.now that i recognized the why i created it,i can really reduce it into its "nothingness"

Federer

i use it to refer the book busting loose from the money game

[Diandra25]

ok since i re-started reading the busting loose book,something strange happened this same week and i dont understand where that comes from:

My bf held is boss against the wall saying that if he continues to screw up with my bf´s life,then Monday he will bet him up before firing himself from the Company.

I dont have a clue of why this happened - is this an egg coming from me?my beliefs? im not seeing clearly waht belief created this..i never though my bf could do or think such a way. and i dont want him to go to jail for beating his boss.

im confused

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Diandra25

is this an egg coming from me?my beliefs?

Everything isn't always about you.. yah, know..??

Trying to figure out sometimes "logicaly or ego'lly" whether what you see is in your reality is coming from you.. is a headache.. understand there are other people.. and they are going/doing different things.. Different is good!

Diandra if you've resolved to put this "helplessness" "victim" mentality behind you.. then just let it be behind you?

Now why aren't you wearing your magicians hat?

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by Diandra25

I dont have a clue of why this happened - is this an egg coming from me?my beliefs? im not seeing clearly waht belief created this..i never though my bf could do or think such a way. and i dont want him to go to jail for beating his boss.

im confused

Have you read the part of the book that says you won't need to analyze, that if you're meant to get something from an experience you'll have no doubt about it whatsoever? Trust, trust, trust! Your Expanded Self is in the driver's seat.

[Diandra25]

Hmmmmm

i have put the victim mentality beinh me allright.

im still in page 200. but maybe im getting a different idea from it? arent the others also ourselves?reflecting something that we have inside?from this perspective i was thinking that somehow i might have created this for a specific purpose.

But if you Master say that this is something coming from other real player - my bf - who has also other games at play,not having anything to do with me then...am i that neutral to him that i cannot try to reason his behaviour?am i helpless?

my hat...i totally forgot to put it now that i changed my hair...gonna put it right away

Waxy


Ok.in this precise moment im Trusting whatever Comes.

[Diandra25]

Ok!

what i feel right for me is this:

J.is in his own hologram creating and experiencing his own Games.and im in mine,however as we both wanted to play with each other,through a relationship,here i am now,after been reading the BL,somehow worrying about his own games,cause i thought it was me who created that experience to him.

however,it isnt. what im doing is really popping up what already existed and was somehow hidden,and now through the phase where i am,the thing is that i choose to play to what signifies more joy and fullfilment to me.

so i do the process like " some sort of Hopponopono",im sorry for the part in me that created that part in You/im Sorry/I love you/Forgive me and then also appreciating all my Creations and my POwer.but choosing to experience other parts on him that i prefer.