How to hold strong desires and simulatenously stay detached from outcome?

[Frankelini4SF]

I'm an LoA newbie - started trying intention-manifestation several months ago. I've had some successes and failures, but results compelling enough to keep me interested.

So not that I want to focus on my failures, but I need some constructive criticism: One of my strongest desires is having women in my life. Over the past two weeks I made out with one girl and got her number, and then got another girl's number a week later. It's bizarre because they both, especially one of them, I would think would want to hang out with me again, but I sent them each a text and neither girl ever responded. Since having women in my life is one of my strongest desires, I was thinking maybe I am too attached to the outcome? Also, when perusing this forum, I saw this quote:

You can have whatever you want.
As long as you don't want it.

So now I'm a bit confused, because its like, intend what you REALLY want, but then don't dwell on it at all? or minimally? I find this hard. When I day dream its like on autopilot that I'm thinking about that special girl...

[cylon]

For me it's most effective when I replace "strong desire" with joyful anticipation.

Say you purchase a book or something online and you are really eager for it to show up, you can't wait to have it in your hands and get started using it. You place your order, and you know within a few days or so it will be there.

This is the feeling of not having something in the moment but having complete faith it will come. Since you have complete faith it will come, it is just fun to wait, or anticipate it.

In this scenario you still desire the thing you bought online, but you have no doubt that you will get it soon and your desire will be quenched in a very short time.

This tends to work the best for me. The trick is really being able to convince yourself you WILL get what you want, even if you feel that way for only a few minutes. Often I think people have a desire and then a second or two later they doubt they'll get it. And they establish no momentum because in the moment the desire was born, the negative doubtful thought comes right along and kills it.

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by Frankelini4SF

I'm an LoA newbie - started trying intention-manifestation several months ago. I've had some successes and failures, but results compelling enough to keep me interested.

So not that I want to focus on my failures, but I need some constructive criticism: One of my strongest desires is having women in my life. Over the past two weeks I made out with one girl and got her number, and then got another girl's number a week later. It's bizarre because they both, especially one of them, I would think would want to hang out with me again, but I sent them each a text and neither girl ever responded. Since having women in my life is one of my strongest desires, I was thinking maybe I am too attached to the outcome? Also, when perusing this forum, I saw this quote:

You can have whatever you want.
As long as you don't want it.

So now I'm a bit confused, because its like, intend what you REALLY want, but then don't dwell on it at all? or minimally? I find this hard. When I day dream its like on autopilot that I'm thinking about that special girl...

I would personally edit that phrase you have written there to say instead:

You can have whatever you want.
As long as you don't fear the not having it.

You see, the only reason you would ever experience fear is because you are focusing on a reality you do not want.

Your focus upon that reality draws it to you. This is what attachment, in a manifestational context, really is. It is fear. Think about it, why would one be attached to anything? What does it really mean to be attached to something? Attachment implies a kind of connection -- in many cases a strong connection which could almost be likened unto a kind of dependency -- a situation where it is sort of like you can't live without it. A kind of desperation. Fear.

It has nothing to do with the wanting of it -- that is perfectly fine, natural, and expected. It is the wanting of it, and then, the subsequent focusing on the lack of it, which we simply do not often consciously realize we are doing. This is where the negative emotions come in, letting you know you are attracting the lack of what you want, as opposed to the presence of what you want.

But, you see, this is precisely why this, being one of your strongest desires, is having some difficulty manifesting. It REALLY matters to you. Things that we have a vested interest in are naturally going to be things we care about the ultimate outcome of, even if only subtlety conscious. But that is the crux, isn't it?

The interesting thing is that wanting something strongly, and being perfectly content with never receiving it is the SAME as being absolutely confident you will receive it. This is a state of non-attachment.

Both situations negate fear, which is the equivalent of resistance, and are the best possible creative scenarios for manifestation to occur.

The universe already knows what you want, it's merely waiting for you to let go of the fear. The fear implies doubt, which is an affirmation of the reality of not having. This is why forgetting about a casual desire often brings it to pass in the near future as many people experience frequently. In the forgetting, you bypass resistance. Manifestation follows.

Hope that helps clarify some things.

[Jarrod]

I really like what the two of you have said.

I certainly know what you mean by that joyful anticipation, just ordered myself some stuff recently .

Combining that with an absence of fear (and mixing in a bit of knowing you can get it once, you can always get it again... that feeling inside) is pretty cool.

I like the mindset.

[Grrl]

Originally Posted by Jarrod

I like the mindset.

It is a whole different mindset, isn't it? For me, it really reframes how I've been sabotaging myself because I've been having a lot of difficulty with creating negativity while having the subtle awareness that I'm actually creating my life. I can see how my life has been riddled with fear and lower vibrating people.

I've made crazy things real.... going as far as having experiences of alien contact and other out of this world phenomenon. I can see how my focus on having such absurd and eccentric experiences attracted those realities to me. Having a natural affinity for visualization and deep thinking, I can see how I've given the universe a lot of mixed messages!!... I can't believe how well it listens. It was a lesson to show me how much I needed to own that I create my own experiences.

Now, after going through what would definitely be considered "insanity" by the court of law, I can see that LOA is serious and I better watch where I aim that thing.

[delias]

Originally Posted by Anagogy

The universe already knows what you want, it's merely waiting for you to let go of the fear. The fear implies doubt, which is an affirmation of the reality of not having. This is why forgetting about a casual desire often brings it to pass in the near future as many people experience frequently. In the forgetting, you bypass resistance. Manifestation follows.

I wonder if this is why people who adopt a subjective reality mindset are able to manifest things into their reality so easily. If you imagine that everything is a reflection of you, that it is like a big dream, then fear is lessened just like it is when you are having a night time dream and become lucid. By adopting that mindset, if it is a dream and a reflection of what is within you, it seems easier to accept that what you 'dream' will come back to you in 'reality', making what it looks like 'now' seem like less of an obstacle, or allows you to have less fear that it might not ever come. If it is a dream and you dream it, then surely it is entirely possible, if not certain, that it WILL come.

[Frankelini4SF]

Anagogy: I wanted to comment that that was a brilliant response you gave me about attachment/fear when using the LoA. Thanks a lot – it really elucidated the LoA for me. I was just curious – what experiences/successes have you had with the LoA and how long have you been doing it?

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by Frankelini4SF

Anagogy: I wanted to comment that that was a brilliant response you gave me about attachment/fear when using the LoA. Thanks a lot – it really elucidated the LoA for me. I was just curious – what experiences/successes have you had with the LoA and how long have you been doing it?

I will try and respond to your PM later today. Been really busy lately. Sorry about the slowness.