Overcoming Resistance and Fear

[delias]

The Abraham Hicks teachings say to:
'Choose your thoughts based upon how they feel. Don't use the truth of it as your criteria, use the feeling of it as the criteria.'

So I have been trying to implement this, but I seem to have a lot of resistence to it. I sat down and asked myself, if I allowed myself to do this for 30 days, what harm could it do? Why, when I try to do it do I become so engrossed in fear? I continue to try to change my reality by trying to 'convince' other people--and if subjective reality is an accurate model--then I am having great difficulty convincing myself.

I came up with this: I/We are afraid to do it because what if it doesn't 'work', and we are dissappointed. I/We want it to work, want it to change our reality, want it to shift circumstances for the better. And then the catch comes: What if it doesn't? What if it leaves me more disappointed and miserable than i am right now? Have difficulty seeing HOW it could work, have difficulty believing that it could work, so begin it, seem to have a few instances of 'wow--that worked', and then go right back to fear, powerlessness, the world being 'out there' so I have no influence over it at all type of thinking.

I'm experimenting right now---by writing this, maybe I will 'dream up', answers and input from others, who are really a part of me, that will enable me to get over this hurdle, knuckle down, and just go for it.

Delias

[cylon]

How ever many years you've lived is how many compounded negative thoughts you've built up over your life.

If the self concept you've practiced minute after minute, day after day, year after year is "I am separate from everyone, and everything" that is not going to go away overnight.

It is a process. The only way you get rid of the resistance is by experiencing it. Looking at it, acknowledging it is there. If you don't look at it, it will always be in the background. When it's in the background, it influences the way you perceive the world, but since it's in the background, you don't perceive it consciously. You just have a vague sense of separation, isolation, lack.

The really cool thing about this is once it becomes conscious, then you can start testing it, playing with it. This is a process that takes time and effort. Not because LOA or SR (or whatever you want to call it) takes time and effort, but because you have an entire worldview that seems solid and permanent. Like a mountain.

But now, you are chipping away at it. Most people don't chip away at it, or if they do, they give up right away. Then a couple months later, they chip at it again. Or maybe they convince themselves it's not worth bothering with.

What you are doing is consciously, deliberately chipping away at that self concept, the model of how the world really works. We ALL are. Chip away here, chip away there.

Sometimes, when you chip away at a certain small area for enough time, a HUGE chunk falls off and you see the ray of sunlight shining through the hole. Then you chip, chip, bigger chunks. Bigger rays of sunlight. Pretty soon, you can equally see the rays of sunlight that are coming through the holes, as well as the big mountain of certainty. But once you can see them both at the same time, it becomes MUCH easier. This analogy is kind of like the cloud cover concept in the Busting Loose book. The clouds block out the sun, but inevitably, there will be a ray of sunshine that you can't deny seeing.

[AaronB]

If you are needing it to work, you are needing it to take you somewhere else. The point of having thoughts that work for you is that they change your state of mind right now to a more functional one. Not later. This feels wonderful the very moment you change to this focus. If you feel like you are out on a limb, then you're doing it wrong.

Get out of your fear thoughts now. Don't wait until your world is peachy first. Diving head first sounds impractical to me. What sounds easier is to give 5 minutes a day to non-worry thinking only. Think only thoughts that energize you in that time period. Otherwise you will worry even more about not having enough time to worry. In your mind at this moment you perceive yourself to be protected by worry thoughts, which really only keep you stressed. This can be let go of gradually so as not to cause to much trauma by shifting too quickly. Once you recognize that this worry thinking is of no value, you will let go of it effortlessly.

Work your way up at your own pace. If you are especially worry prone, even 10 seconds a day of allowing yourself to think in a way that is joyful and free can create startling results. It is like creaking open a door that has a lot of energy stuck up behind it. The more pressure there is on the door the less focus is required on your part to make a drastic change.

[Solipsist]

I don't know about "choosing your thoughts," but I will respond to the resistance thing.

The opposite of resistance is surrender. So, to overcome resistance, one surrenders, or "lets go" of their attachments, particularly their emotional attachments.

[delias]

Originally Posted by cylon

How ever many years you've lived is how many compounded negative thoughts you've built up over your life.

It is a process. The only way you get rid of the resistance is by experiencing it. Looking at it, acknowledging it is there. If you don't look at it, it will always be in the background. When it's in the background, it influences the way you perceive the world, but since it's in the background, you don't perceive it consciously. You just have a vague sense of separation, isolation, lack.

That makes a lot of sense. It is also intimidating, it brings up fears about time, like what if I can't become of aware of all the resistance and change it in time and my dream slips away in the meantime?

In uncovering your resistance, would you look at what other people say as a reflection of your own resistance. So if someone said, 'it's not possible', about anything at all, that would be a reflection of my own resistance, my own belief that it isn't or my doubt that it is possible?

Once you are aware of that belief, how do you then change it?

[cylon]

Originally Posted by delias

That makes a lot of sense. It is also intimidating, it brings up fears about time, like what if I can't become of aware of all the resistance and change it in time and my dream slips away in the meantime?

In uncovering your resistance, would you look at what other people say as a reflection of your own resistance. So if someone said, 'it's not possible', about anything at all, that would be a reflection of my own resistance, my own belief that it isn't or my doubt that it is possible?

Once you are aware of that belief, how do you then change it?

Take yourself off the clock. There is no time limit or time requirements.

You'll learn and experience what you can handle. When you can handle it. Nothing more.

What you're learning about is how to escape the constant "when will it happen? What will I do?" stuff.

Cut yourself some slack. Once you build momentum you'll become your own guide. There is NO RUSH. NO HURRY.

Just become aware of your thoughts and fears, and give yourself unconditional love. That will shut your ego up. Once your ego shuts up, you'll just see it. You will answer your own questions.

[delias]

Originally Posted by AaronB

If you are needing it to work, you are needing it to take you somewhere else. The point of having thoughts that work for you is that they change your state of mind right now to a more functional one. Not later.

Get out of your fear thoughts now. Don't wait until your world is peachy first.

Work your way up at your own pace. If you are especially worry prone, even 10 seconds a day of allowing yourself to think in a way that is joyful and free can create startling results. It is like creaking open a door that has a lot of energy stuck up behind it. The more pressure there is on the door the less focus is required on your part to make a drastic change.

Thanks. That definately sounds more manageable at least in the beginning. I could set aside a few minutes each day to think thoughts about what I desire freely, imagine that they could happen, that they were possible, etc.

[delias]

I went for a long walk to sort of try to get my head around things. Since I've come across all of this information, in all honesty, I've been on such an intense emotional rollercoaster. Things look different, trees appear different, stones, grass, I was amazed at how many rain droplets I could see in puddles, way more than I was ever able to take in before.

The whole time I am basically a blubbering mess, so I'm grateful there wasn't anyone else at the park. I feel like my whole life is in an upheaval, and there are very few people I can talk to about it because they might not be able to see what I do, and would think I had gone crazy. Even the people I could go to before, this is one area where I simply can't turn to them for support.

Things look and seem more like a dream than they do real. With all of this stuff rattling around in my head, I've found it very difficult to have the same structure and routine than I used to, and even more difficult go about my day. I'm having trouble merging knowledge with practice, and also going back to 'normal' life at the same time. I hope that this phase of almost being stuck passes soon.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Don't wait until your world is peachy first.

Thank you for the synchronicity. Lol, I love how the universe answers my questions.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by delias

I went for a long walk to sort of try to get my head around things. Since I've come across all of this information, in all honesty, I've been on such an intense emotional rollercoaster. Things look different, trees appear different, stones, grass, I was amazed at how many rain droplets I could see in puddles, way more than I was ever able to take in before.

The whole time I am basically a blubbering mess, so I'm grateful there wasn't anyone else at the park. I feel like my whole life is in an upheaval, and there are very few people I can talk to about it because they might not be able to see what I do, and would think I had gone crazy. Even the people I could go to before, this is one area where I simply can't turn to them for support.

Things look and seem more like a dream than they do real. With all of this stuff rattling around in my head, I've found it very difficult to have the same structure and routine than I used to, and even more difficult go about my day. I'm having trouble merging knowledge with practice, and also going back to 'normal' life at the same time. I hope that this phase of almost being stuck passes soon.

I remember going through a cloudy phase of life that lasted for a few months. Switching from one belief system to another brings a lot of stress to a mind that is used to thinking in a certain way. The old thought system is trying to understand the new system, in order to control it. In the meantime the new system gains strength and validation in your own experience, and you begin to trust it. My recommendation here would be to give yourself plenty of time to not think about things as well. There's no such thing as too much rest for your mind. Go on a walk, and try only looking with your eyes and not thinking for a while. As you set out on your walk you could call it a 15 minutes mind rest, and hold that intention. No mental manipulation of any concepts for 15 minutes. Just let all those concepts rest for a bit. Then go back to tossing and turning ideas later.

[delias]

Originally Posted by AaronB

I remember going through a cloudy phase of life that lasted for a few months. Switching from one belief system to another brings a lot of stress to a mind that is used to thinking in a certain way. The old thought system is trying to understand the new system, in order to control it. In the meantime the new system gains strength and validation in your own experience, and you begin to trust it. My recommendation here would be to give yourself plenty of time to not think about things as well. There's no such thing as too much rest for your mind. Go on a walk, and try only looking with your eyes and not thinking for a while. As you set out on your walk you could call it a 15 minutes mind rest, and hold that intention. No mental manipulation of any concepts for 15 minutes. Just let all those concepts rest for a bit. Then go back to tossing and turning ideas later.

It sure does. I have had an increase of headaches lately. I'm so grateful to have found this forum, to be able to have conversations with people who have already been through this process in their own way. The funny thing is I was coming into this naturally, through the catalyst of a specific desire that I really really want and the fear of not ever having it. It first ran me down into the ground to the point where I actually had a seizure. Then I had some peace and realized within myself looking back that I had created both having it and not having it with my thoughts, etc. But kept falling back into fear. Then I begged my spirit guides for help...and it started a path of syncs...which felt kind of like an Alice In Wonderland trail. I remember searching for the exact phrase I did the first time in google, and this forum never came up. It didn't come up until I had already been lead to all this other information first. Then suddenly it just appeared in my search---the same search I had done multiple times. It all happened so fast.

Another thing that is so challenging is when you want something so badly and you are trying to learn all of this and practice it so it becomes a way of life for you, initially wanting so badly sort of makes it hard for you to pull yourself away from reading, searching, tossing the ideas around, and makes it hard to resume a 'normal' routine. I guess it is a process and eventually I will be able to start practicing all this new stuff AND get back do a decent state of functioning again.

I've recently had a break from it all because we just had a major earthquake lol. So I was thrust out of all the thinking and into something completely different.