LoA and me... and what to do.

[Heatsaber]

Hey all.... I’m rather new here, to all of this. LoA, self-help, all that. I have some need of your expertise because I’ve strayed off the beaten path and gotten lost in the woods. I’ve recently come to believe in the LoA. Good moods and tidings have caused me to manifest phone calls from friends, parking spaces, and all kinds of small stuff, so I know it works. But I still hold tight to some of my belief’s that it cannot help with bigger stuff, that maybe it’s not real, those were all coincidence... (something I used to believe strongly in, something like fate.... I mean, I had a whole belief set, and now it’s being challenged, but in a good way because the old was unhealthy.) I for some reason, have had this strong urge since a couple of days ago to post all this here.... and ask for help, but today was the strongest, so I’ll do it.

Ok, so this is how I came into contact with it. I had a bit of a bad spot, a couple of years back. I wont go too far into, but all I had was my mind to keep my company. I used it. I began to visualize myself in front of armies or sitting behind the oval office, or other such things... being a world player, a maker of history. So strong was this, it kept me going, kept me standing when all else failed. And one day, I was in a really good mood.... and I said to myself something along the lines of ... “This is what I am going to do. I am going to make history, people will stand in awe when they hear my name.... now, I just want to know how...”

And the sketchy thing is a book from high up on the shelf above me fell..... and it was a book on LoA. It landed right in my lap. Of course I read it... and came to be awed, but like some casual folks, I sort of put it aside because it didn’t work right away.

Fast forward. Last Christmas: I began to sit with some kids at lunch. A few weeks later, a girl who was very, very pretty joined the table. I am really shy and such, so I didn’t so much talk to her, but more everyone else... and through that I guess she came to see my humor and all that.

Anyways, fast foward again to early Feb. She was in a different lunch of mine for some odd reason, and she saw all my friends, her friends too, and sat down. The table was packed, so I offered her to share my chair with me. She did, and spent all lunch flirting with me. I was shocked. Honestly, I hadn’t thought of her at all when we weren’t at lunch together. She was pretty and funny, but I was trying for another girl at the time. Needless to say, four days later we were dating.

Now, I have some doubts, insecurities and such that seem to open up during a relationship, but the first couple of weeks they were nowhere to be seen. We couldn't drive; problem. One of my good friends also knew her, so he wanted to transport us around because we both had rotten luck with relationships and he really enjoyed having us around. We always hung out, the three of us. So much, in fact, we grew to neglect our other friends. Now, somewhere along these lines, I began to doubt myself... and suddenly, having a rotten day, I found out she was torn. She used to like this other guy, and still did, and she liked me. I told myself, if this ever came up again I wouldn’t stand for it.... but eh, I’d deal with it this time. It was a horrible day. I was in such a bad mood. I ended up making her mad, which wasn’t a good idea. But I refused to give up, to lose her. So, there, oddly enough, was the same book. Sitting on the shelf, sun hitting it. (I know... I was just all... blah when that happened) I ran over, and poured over the pages. I went online... and suddenly found myself writing, happily, about all the things I enjoyed about her, what I liked, what I wanted with her.... and then 15 minutes later, she came online and talked to me, we made plans to see each other the next day and she was really, really happy to talk to me when mere minutes before she was furious with me. Two days later, after several weeks of indecision, she chose me. Go me.

I was a believer at that point. It worked. But, then I came to see any bad day or mood as a doomsday attack type situation. And then, unfortunately, I began to have a lot of bad days. Soon, my friend and I began to dumb down our comments, our humor and have very stressful weeks. So did she. We were always on edge, and all that. Happiness kind of gone unless the cards were right and we were both already happy. A couple of days ago, I was having a very bad day. My friends called me on not being around, my family flipped out on me for not doing what I should, and I got kicked out.... and then to top it all off, when I kept thinking it, worrying about it while it seemed very unlikely, she broke up with me. She was stressed out, I was reminding her of her past. Blah, blah.

It was with that extra slap in the face that I came to realize that I had looked to her for validation as a person. I linked my emotions to her, tried to please her. She had some of the same things, so it was bad. So, that day went from my worst to my best because I knew how to cure my depression, or at least help it not be so bad. I patched some things up with my family (still needs some work) I’ve grown to care for me more... And every day since I’ve learned something more from that relationship. It was, the last few weeks, unhealthy. Taxing. Stressing. Causing me doubt, and misery, and it was mostly my fault, however. For my insecurities, and my forecasting of doom. I regret it. I was afraid to say stuff that needed saying. I should have... I have a lot of regret towards it because of how it turned out. For all the bad stuff in it, it was more worthy and I enjoyed it. But, she also said that if we both worked our things out, we could try again. Now, I really think she helped make all my friendships stronger, helped me see me for me, and that I can change all this, and helped mend some bad patches of time with my family. I don't want to lose this, or her again.... I want to try again. (Not now, maybe.... because I still have some work ahead of me.) And we still have lunch. We still have the same friends. We'll see each other so it's not like she'll just vanish. And she did say it could work....

I want that. But, I’m not sure how to go about it. I’m sort of doubtful if LoA can do anything for it. For that matter, I need to lose my limiting and self-doubting beliefs. I need to help me, and change, and get better, but I don’t know how. I meet everything I see with doubt and it never works. I almost always forecast negatively.... I need some help. Can LoA kill off my doubts, or silence them? Is there anything that can? Can it help me with my limiting beliefs, since I do know it works both ways? Is there a way I can refrain from my negative forecasting, or other ways of defeating myself? Looking back, that book falling into my lap... it seems almost surreal. There is a lot I want, but I don’t know how to phrase it or get it... or call onto it for help. I don’t know exactly why I posted this, since my experience with forums has been nothing short of bad, just that it felt, as I mentioned, gut felt, like a good idea. Thanks for any help... and thanks for the long read.

~Bryan.

[kinerkid]

Bryan,

First of all, you are an amazing manifester! You've quickly been able to manifest whatever you think about! Isn't that amazing!!!??? There's a technique I learned a little while ago that has been helpful for me. Whenever I don't feel the way I want, I sit down with 2 sheets of paper. On the first page, I write down all the things I don't want. Then, on the 2nd sheet of paper I write down everything that's the opposite. All the things I do want. And I make them as specific as possible.

Then, I take a 3rd sheet of paper and divide it down the middle vertically. On the left side I write my name and on the right side I put down God/Universe (whatever you feel comfortable with title-wise). I then jot notes about what manifestations/activities I can do to make me happy on my side of the paper. Sometimes it's as simple as "laugh a lot" "give and receives lots of hugs" "tell someone I love him/her." Then on the God/Universe side I put down all the things that I know are not within my immediate power to make real. These are the tasks that I am asking God/The Universe to bring my way. It helps me realize that there are a lot of things that I can free myself from the worry or the sadness. I just leave them up to a higher spirit than me.

I also carry around my "wants" list and look at it often to make me feel good! This is very helpful with visualizing.

jamie

[Heatsaber]

Hmm... I never looked at it like that. I guess that's the first step. I can get things to happen somewhat quickly.

But, yeah. The sheet of paper sounds like a great idea. I think I might try that, thanks.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Heatsaber

I want that. But, I’m not sure how to go about it. I’m sort of doubtful if LoA can do anything for it. For that matter, I need to lose my limiting and self-doubting beliefs. I need to help me, and change, and get better, but I don’t know how. I meet everything I see with doubt and it never works. I almost always forecast negatively.... I need some help. Can LoA kill off my doubts, or silence them?

Dear boy. Of course it can. I do it all the time.

I cannot begin to tell you the number of different ways this could be done. So I will tell you just one method.

Get a notebook, a brand new one. Give it a title - something positive, like "Positive Life". Do 15 minutes of writing in the morning, 3 or 4 times a week, for 2 or 3 weeks.

When you write, write without stopping. You don't need to write fast, but you must not stop writing until you've really finished. You must not pause to analyse, or reflect, or or edit, or to think about how to organise the next paragraph etc. This is so that your doubting mind has no chance to intervene.

In this notebook, you will write only positive things. Choose a theme for each writing session. Suggestions:

1. Write about all the good things in your life today. Being healthy, having a job, having friends etc. Everyone has things in their lives which they can be thankful and grateful for.

2. Write an imaginary account of an extremely wonderful day in your life, six months from now, where everything, everything is going exactly the way you want it to.

3. Pretend that you have already succeeded in becoming the positive person that you want to be. In fact, make this completely fictional. Pretend that you have already cultivated all the personal attributes you would like to have (could be anything - calm? focus? discipline? humour? intellect? kindness? forgiveness? patience?). Now write an account of a typical day in your life, but as if you were already this new person.

4. Pick a goal or intention that you have. Write down all the reasons why you want this goal/intention. Next, write down all the reasons (at least 10) why you can succeed at this goal / intention. Eg "I want to have a beautiful relationship." .... "1. I know I can, because I have had it before."

etc etc