I Desperately Need an Attitude Adjustment

[Indy107]

I'll try and make this short - I just feel so DOWN today. I believe in LOA, I watched the Secret back in October and it gave me a new lease in life. However the spouse was never into it - and constantly focuses on the negatives. Lately - with the press jumping all over the Secret - I have slid right back into my old negative, gloom and doom ways.

I'm self employed - I run a computer store - and I'm 3 months behind on rent. I can't afford it here - and my lease isn't up until October. I am so much in debt from starting this business it isn't funny. I have tried to think positive - knowing it would all be alright - but it is so hard to think that way now. The spouse is working 2 jobs to help make ends meet - and is horribly stressed. She's afraid we'll lose or house.

I have no idea what I am going to do. Not wanting to give up - I started another new business - a place blog - a month ago - and it appears to be a hit in my town - but I won't see any income from that - if any - for a year or so.

My daughter just married a guy who went off to boot camp and left her with all 'their' bills - and her hours just got cut - so she's stressed out too. And to top it all off - last night my pet parakeet died. I loved that silly bird.

Today - I've got customers screaming for their computers - I'm stressed to the max - I've got a splitting headache - I'm sad about my stupid bird - and just want to go crawl away somewhere and hide.

What do you - my positive friends - suggest is the best way for me to pull myself back up by my bootstraps and turn this ugly situation around?
Anybody? Help? I so want this to get better.

chuck

[Yev]

What you want, is for the computer store to do well. But instead of putting your effort in there, you are spending your time and energy doing I/M and LoA and probably neglecting the store. Why go via LoA to get to the store? Just go straight there. What makes a computer store successful is friendly helpful service. You know that. A computer is a computer, where ever your customers buy it. But the service varies from store to store. So get in the store, smile at the people, do whatever it takes to make them happy and forget about the struff that has been distracting you from doing what needs to be done.

About the only thing that you can use from "The Secret" is the advice on gratitude. But we all knew that loooong before "The Secret" suddenly made it big news. Tell your wife how grateful you are that she is working so hard to help make ends meet. Tell her that every day. When you take out the garbage, tell her that you are grateful. When you give her a back rub, tell her you are grateful. When she brings home her check, tell her you are grateful. Tell yourself how lucky you are to have a wife like that. Many don't have that advantage.

It is obvious that you and your wife are not afraid of hard work. Things have to come right with that amount of effort.

[TheColonel]

I don't know what your numbers look like, but when I was in your shoes (recently), I talked to a broker about selling my business. If you've got ANY A/R or contracts or anything of value, you can get a chunk of money.

Also, talk to your landlord. Many landlords will get flexible when facing the prospect of having to replace a tenant. If you're 3 months late, maybe you could work an arrangement to sever the lease and pay him what you owe him over time. It would be cheaper for him to do that then litigate over 6-7 months front rent.

Another idea would be to shop for a related company that would lease you a corner of their retail space. For example, if you're a computer repair shop, find a Radio Shack (or whatever) franchise offer them $xxx/month to set up an area in the back of their store. Your current customers would become their NEW customers, and vice versa. In addition, you'd be helping them cover their lease.

[impaul99]

My advice to you does not relate to any specifics of what you should do as far as your computer business is concerned, because I know you already know more about your business than I do.

I will offer some advice on LoA, The Secret and how it relates to applying it to your business, and having a spouse who "doesn't believe in that stuff."

Here's my advice in point form:

1) The Law of Attraction works. Forget the press and their opinions, and don't worry about convincing your spouse that it works either. It is not required for any of them to believe the same thing you do in order to have LoA working for you. For example, your spouse doesn't have to believe in LoA in order for you to get LoA working. Even though she's in your space and in your life, if you truly want something, nobody can stop you. So, right now, remove the need to convince anyone else that LoA works out of your TODO list. You don't have enough energy to pursue that mission right now.

2) Having said that, although deep down LoA makes sense to you, and you know in your heart that you believe it, you still don't fully trust it yet, SO my advice would be NOT to rely on it solely to fix your problems. Instead, act at the level of your true beliefs. If, for example, you know that by taking action steps 1, 2 and 3 you will make money to keep your business going then take action steps 1,2 and 3 because you BELIEVE already that they will help. ON TOP OF THAT, use LoA to visualize and set intentions to do better and be open to accepting new business that didn't directly come from action steps 1,2 and 3.

DO NOT RELY on new business coming from LoA, but rather just accept it as a BONUS, but keep acting at the level of your CURRENT BELIEFS. Acting at your current level of beliefs DOES NOT mean you don't believe in LoA and it doesn't screw things up at that level. You can run the two plans simultaneously using ATTRACTION to attract customers, while at the same time using ACTION to go out and get customers in whatever methods you've used in the past that you know work already.

A lot of people (including myself previously) make the mistake of stopping to do what we know already works in an area of our lives and solely relying on LoA to bring us results, because we somehow think that doing things the "manual non-LOA" way reduces our belief in LoA, but it doesn't. So keep doing what has worked for you in the past, and add LoA on TOP of that.

3) If you don't already have one, get yourself a journal and set some time aside each day to write in the journal. Do it when you're alone, at home, or even after you close at the office or whenever. In your journal, start asking yourself questions about what you want. Maybe the reason your computer business is failing is because you don't really want to be running it? Maybe you thought it would be cool when you first started it, but it turned out to be totally different than what you expected? Maybe you didn't take the time to really think what you want to do with your life before you rushed into it? Maybe it was a step up from what you were doing before, but still not the perfect thing for you?

Maybe this is all happening to you on purpose so that you get PUSHED into figuring out what you want in life? Most of us don't like to do self-reflection until we are PUSHED into it by frustration and pain. We sit around comfortable and at the same time deeply depressed inside. So after a while we create a disaster in our lives to push us past the breaking point where we snap and finally take the action steps necessary to IMPROVE OUR LIFE.

Maybe you attracted this whole scenario so that you can finally get out of your computer business at any cost.

Maybe you attracted this whole scenario to deal with certain issues between you and your spouse?

These are questions that I would ask myself and write answers to them in your personal journal that you don't share with anyone. Why is this happening to you? Why are you in debt? Why are you struggling with money? Why are the people around you struggling with money? Are your clients struggling with money too? Are your A/R accounts not paying up and thus putting you into greater strain? It sounds like it to me that you are attracting exactly that kind of business, and everyone around you is reflecting that same thing to you.

The only way through it is to do self reflection and figure things out. It won't happen overnight, you have to be patient. However long it takes, I assure you it will be worth it.

4) Don't blame your spouse or anyone else for your problems. You created this mess, but the great news is that YOU can fix it. Your spouse is NOT going to listen to some crazy "SECRET" you're talking to her about if you're going broke while she works two "real" jobs to keep you afloat. WHen you get excited and talk to her about the secret, all she's hearing is "blah, blah, blah.....blah, blah.... blah, blah, blah...." This doesn't mean she's insensitive, it doesn't mean she's a bad spouse, it just means your timing is WAY off. First get yourself on track, get your business back in gear or sell it and get a job for a while. Get your finances going in the right direction, pay off some debts, and during that time use LOA to attract better things. When you start producing successful results, your spouse will be WAY more receptive to listening to you. Trust me, I speak from experience.

5) Dont' project things linearly into the future. For example, if the solution for you becomes that you have to go out and get a job for a while, realize that it's only temporary. It doesn't mean you have to work as an employee forever. A lot of people don't want to do stuff because they think they'll get "stuck" doing it forever. If you need to take on some side work to make some extra money to tie you over, or to pay off a debt, do it. Don't think it's going to be forever.

6) One final piece of advice. Look for reflections of yourself in your life and in what you do. If you're broke and having cashflow problems, your life will reflect that to you everywhere. All of a sudden, your daughter has cashflow problems, your customers might have cashflow problems, everyone around you has cashflow problems! Realize that you are creating all of this in your life. If you take positive action forward to resolve the issue, everyone around you will do the same thing. Everyone follows by example, not by what you tell them to do.

Hope that helps. If you'd like more personalized advice, feel free to email me. My email is in my profile, I'll be glad to offer more advice if what I've written above resonates with you.

Just so you know, I used to own and run a computer business from 2001 to 2003 that did about 1-2Million/year in sales and due to the shitty margins didn't do very well, so I know just how hard it is to survive in that industry, so don't feel too bad that you're not doing well. You might be an awesome entrepreneur who just found himself in the wrong business segment.

P.s. Very sorry to hear about your pet.

[Indy107]

Yev -

thank you for your reply - I do need to show more gratitude to my wife - thank you for that.

TheColonel -

I have thought about severing my lease. But I will have to move to - somewhere. I am in a small town so don't have many options. This town of 20,000 only has 2 strip malls - and I'm in one of them (hence the expensive rent) As far as computers - I have streamlined to just repairs - (no expenses - just my time and expertise) but can only fix so many - so the model just isn't working nay more under these conditions - and I don't have the capital to add another product or service.

Impaul99-

i am going to read you comment in a few - its long and i want to make sure i take the time to ponder what you have to say -

thanks for the replies - funny thing - I posted this and then went to the PATHS thread i have been following and immediately found a reference to a book The Power of your Subconscious Mind - I then found a free ebook of it and started reading it - I feel better already. Just needed a picker upper

chuck

[searstower]

Excellent advice Paul.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by searstower

Excellent advice Paul.

Thank you. I believe in the holographic model of the universe and Subjective Reality, so in reality I was writing the post as a reminder to myself.

Just trying to help.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by impaul99

...in reality I was writing the post as a reminder to myself.

They're all kinda like that, aren't they.

Chuck, I'm sending thoughts of power and ease in your direction, and I'll bet plenty of other people around here are directing their best wishes to you as well. I'm sorry about your beloved bird.

Love,
Angela

[Indy107]

Originally Posted by impaul99

Your spouse is NOT going to listen to some crazy "SECRET" you're talking to her about if you're going broke while she works two "real" jobs to keep you afloat. (

Boy did you hit the nail on the head there. That's for dang sure.

Thanks for your reply Paul - I relate to alot of what you said. As far as the computer business - yeah margins suck. That's why I only do repairs now. But unless I can clone myself - I can't keep up and if I could - its still not enought tp pay both rent and a mortgage. My wife is very - I call it old school - get a job - work until you retire - job is secure - blah blah - we both worked at Intel - before they closed the plant My business has been a good experience - and if I could just make enough money - I'd be happy doing this for a long time. But when you're broke, and stressed, and the bills start piling up - and you get more stressed - and the wife gets stressed - then things get ugly and you just can't think clearly anymore.

If I got a job - even temporary - I still have the lease to contend with until Aug. And as long as I have computers to fix - I can't look for a job - or take a day off - or anything else.

I had started an online journal - and forgot about it. I will get back into it. I had also 'lost' my whole positive attitude - thanks to stress - that the Secret, What the Bleep, and this forum had given me. The old programming is strong. I was seeing some amazing things happen - before things went bad - and thats when the idea came for my new business - like Jack Canfield in the Secret - the idea just came to me - so I acted immediately. I created a placeblog for my town, ala FresnoFamous, Baristanet, H20Town, etc. It's called Forest Grove Live. Response has been very positive so far and I finish my first 4 weeks tonight with about 4500 page views. It looks promising - but won't be paying any bills for awhile. So I come in early (630) and work on it until the shop opens at 10.

It's just so hard to stay optimistic, positive, have faith, whatever you call it - especially when the stress sets in. I understand my wife is stressed - I know she's working hard - but I just don't know what to do until my lease runs out - and then I'm not sure what I'll do. I may try and sell the business - that would help. Or I may move it to a cheaper location - if i can find one. I do have a pretty loyal clientele. The thought of looking for paid work scares the bejeebus out of me as I have been out of that loop for 8yrs.

[Indy107]

The bird was silly - and he was my daughters bird she bought 8 years ago. When she couldn't 'train' him - she lost interest and starting chasing boys instead LOL. Guess who inherited the bird. I was the only one he was comfortable with. I started my business in a home office and he was my office buddy. To walk in last night and find him laying on the bottom of his cage was just the icing on the cake. I felt crappy all day until I posted my message - and things have been better ever since. I will still miss that bird though.

[Indy107]

Thank you for the good thoughts Angela - I appreciate the thought.

[Acting Like Godot]

Just manifest customers.

Crowd the store with customers. Make them buy the big-ticket items, like CPUs and monitors and printers. Forget the mice and the mouse pads.

Go on. Visualise. Use the senses. Hear them talking in your store. Visualise their faces, their expressions. Feel the customer's credit card in your hand. Hear yourself say to customers, "I'm sorry, we've run out of stocks again, we sold everything over the past three days."

Experience your own sense of amazement, as you check your accounts. Visualise your bank statement, feel the paper in your hands, see the final figure as you would like it to be. Feel the "Haha, I told you so!" feeling in yourself, as your wife says incredulously to you, "How on earth did this happen? Is it that "Secret" thing you were telling me?"

Tip for you.

Believe me. It works.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Indy107

Boy did you hit the nail on the head there. That's for dang sure.

Thanks for your reply Paul - I relate to alot of what you said. As far as the computer business - yeah margins suck. That's why I only do repairs now. But unless I can clone myself - I can't keep up and if I could - its still not enought tp pay both rent and a mortgage. My wife is very - I call it old school - get a job - work until you retire - job is secure - blah blah - we both worked at Intel - before they closed the plant My business has been a good experience - and if I could just make enough money - I'd be happy doing this for a long time. But when you're broke, and stressed, and the bills start piling up - and you get more stressed - and the wife gets stressed - then things get ugly and you just can't think clearly anymore.

If I got a job - even temporary - I still have the lease to contend with until Aug. And as long as I have computers to fix - I can't look for a job - or take a day off - or anything else.

I had started an online journal - and forgot about it. I will get back into it. I had also 'lost' my whole positive attitude - thanks to stress - that the Secret, What the Bleep, and this forum had given me. The old programming is strong. I was seeing some amazing things happen - before things went bad - and thats when the idea came for my new business - like Jack Canfield in the Secret - the idea just came to me - so I acted immediately. I created a placeblog for my town, ala FresnoFamous, Baristanet, H20Town, etc. It's called Forest Grove Live. Response has been very positive so far and I finish my first 4 weeks tonight with about 4500 page views. It looks promising - but won't be paying any bills for awhile. So I come in early (630) and work on it until the shop opens at 10.

It's just so hard to stay optimistic, positive, have faith, whatever you call it - especially when the stress sets in. I understand my wife is stressed - I know she's working hard - but I just don't know what to do until my lease runs out - and then I'm not sure what I'll do. I may try and sell the business - that would help. Or I may move it to a cheaper location - if i can find one. I do have a pretty loyal clientele. The thought of looking for paid work scares the bejeebus out of me as I have been out of that loop for 8yrs.

Here's an idea you might want to try. Raise your prices, but offer better service.

For example, the pareto principle states that most likely 80% of your income comes from 20% of your clients. Identify who they are and service the crap out of them. Find ways to raise your rates to accomodate those clients.

You deserve to stay in business. Keeping your rates cheap, so that you don't feel guilty charging clients, will just put you out of business altogether so just raise your prices starting April 1st, or something. There's nothing wrong with that.

Lots of places do it. When it comes to computer things, people very often think that you have to be the cheapest to get business. THat's totally not true.

Ie. if you're charging $50/hour right now and can't keep up, raise your prices to $125/hour or $119/hour for example. Yes, you might lose some of your lower end clients who can't afford you anymore, but you might suprise yourself with what comes your way.

A while back when I ran a web development company, we got a quote request from a company launching a new brand of beer. THey wanted a web design. We estimated it orginally at around 45-50k for the product they wanted, but because we really wanted the account for publicity reasons we quoted them 25k so that we would get the job. They received our proposal and said they would have to think about it. We waited and waited and nothing. Later on we found out that they were quoted $40k by a different firm and when they asked that firm why it's $40k since we quoted them $25k, they told them we're quoting $25k because we don't know what we're doing.

So we lost the contract because we were asking for too little. AAAAAAA!!!!

That happens all the time. You might be missing out on some higher end clientele because your rates are too low, and in the meantime you're too bogged down with your lower end clientele to stay in business.

Don't go overboard, but a price restructuring might be in order here.

If you want to package it along with increased service, that's even better. Like for example home delivery or a free mouse pad, or free power supply fan vacuuming every quarter,

Just another idea.

Or, better yet, use LoA to attract more ideas on how you can generate enough income to stay in your lease. All I've read so far in your post is how your lease costs too much and how you're "stuck" until it runs out. Who say's you're stuck? Who says your lease is too much? If you made 10x as much money per month from your business, would your lease be too much? Maybe you just need to look at the business with a fresh pair of glasses on.

Just some ideas.