How can I really get to who I want to be?

[pinky3]

Want to know if I can ever actually be who I want to be? Just curious? Tried meditation, tried affirmation... tried a lot. I'm still the same and always act the same in different circumstances. I try to change but something's not allowing me to?

I want to go from nice, doormat, child, worried about what people are thinking about me to relaxed, independant, chilled, who-gives-a-crap-attitude person.

Hope this post is in the right place?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by pinky3

W I try to change but something's not allowing me to?

What do you suppose that something is?

[ryanbiddulph]

Hi pinky3,

I've been there, it can be frustrating.

What got me through it? I kept going. As long as you don't meditate, affirm or visualize your life won't become what you want it to be. Is it frustrating doing these things with no appreciable results? Heck yeah! But you must keep going because not engaging in personal development on a daily basis creates a comfort zone, and we know how bad those can be.

Tell yourself 100 times right now that you're going to continue with personal development no matter what. Step away from the computer and say it out loud....go ahead, I'm waiting

Have you tried EFT? EFT helps to release negative energy systems, clearing the way for your good.

Ryan

[Angela]

Originally Posted by pinky3

Hope this post is in the right place?

Pinky, this question, with your continued focus on being right and not being wrong, tickled me! It's EVERYWHERE in your life, isn't it!

[marinik]

Originally Posted by pinky3

I want to go from nice, doormat, child, worried about what people are thinking about me to relaxed, independant, chilled, who-gives-a-crap-attitude person.

OK classical coaching questions.

1. How does that person you want to be act and feel?

2. What would it take to act and feel that way?

3. What do you think you need to do in order to become that person?

4. Do you think LOA is some kind of shortcut?

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Angela

Pinky, this question, with your continued focus on being right and not being wrong, tickled me! It's EVERYWHERE in your life, isn't it!

You're so right! (right, ha ha ) I just need some sort of self help thing. I feel this is something I want to figure out in my own head, if that makes sense?? What do you think of the Sedona method? I'm thinking of buying the book but don't want to be too impulsive.

Oh and this week I tried a new belief. Guess it worked a bit... "I am calm and confident".

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by marinik

OK classical coaching questions.

1. How does that person you want to be act and feel?

2. What would it take to act and feel that way?

3. What do you think you need to do in order to become that person?

4. Do you think LOA is some kind of shortcut?

Don't know if it's rhetorical or I must answer... well I'll think out... loud.

1. They act calm, nice, independent, confident, always in control (but not too in control)- I seem to have control issues...

2. It would take... me being more of myself than I am. Basically not being who others want me to be... actually.. rephrase. Not being who I THINK others want me to be.

3. What do I need to do...? Hmm... work on my self esteem, my control issues... my overanalysing.

4. Sorry I don't know LOA?

Thanks for reply!

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph

Hi pinky3,

I've been there, it can be frustrating.

What got me through it? I kept going. As long as you don't meditate, affirm or visualize your life won't become what you want it to be. Is it frustrating doing these things with no appreciable results? Heck yeah! But you must keep going because not engaging in personal development on a daily basis creates a comfort zone, and we know how bad those can be.

Tell yourself 100 times right now that you're going to continue with personal development no matter what. Step away from the computer and say it out loud....go ahead, I'm waiting

Have you tried EFT? EFT helps to release negative energy systems, clearing the way for your good.

Ryan

Hi! Thanks for the reply! I completely agree... I seem to go from one comfort zone to the next and before I know it I've forgotten little pieces of who I am.

I said it... there That feels good. I do get despondent but I know it's something that I need!

Haven't tried EFT will have to look it up

Thanks!!

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Angela

What do you suppose that something is?

My self limiting beliefs?? Did I get an answer right hey right ha ha ha
Funny how it keeps coming up!!

[themaster]

How can I really get to who I want to be?

Put yourself in a oven, bake at 350 for at least 15 minutes.. turn over when done

No, really

Originally Posted by pinky3

I try to change but something's not allowing me to?

We call these beliefs.. or the unconscious.. tricky thing the unconscious.. always running in the background.. creating for you.. "what you don't want" cause you "won't look at it"

Trick is make the unconscious.. conscious!! :{ so easy.. isn't it?

Originally Posted by pinky3

Want to know if I can ever actually be who I want to be? Just curious? Tried meditation, tried affirmation... tried a lot. I'm still the same and always act the same in different circumstances. I try to change but something's not allowing me to?

I want to go from nice, doormat, child, worried about what people are thinking about me to relaxed, independent, chilled, who-gives-a-crap-attitude person.

Hope this post is in the right place?

You want some tools to use.. see here

Essential Energy Tools that means use them and run them.. doh!

[Rockchick26]

I'm just like you, but don't really have any good advice, I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I've been struggling with personal development for a few years, it seems like nothing works (right away anyway) and you feel like it's pointless to do things that don't show results. Everyone on this forum is wonderful and they know how to change, it's just extremely hard to change yourself. I was expecting an external change, to change me so I didn't have to put forth any effort or make any sacrifices or do anything uncomfortable. But it doesn't work that way. So i'm just telling you that you can try this and try that until you have literally tried almost everything there is...but you have to have strength, discipline, motivation, perserverance, and you can't be a lazy procrastinating person who overanalyzes everything otherwise you are not going to get very far. I also thought that some people are just naturally the way they are because it's just their personality, but I've been told otherwise, that anyone can change their personality no matter how drastically different they want to be. I haven't mastered it yet, but I want to believe it's true. Good luck!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by pinky3

My self limiting beliefs?? Did I get an answer right hey right ha ha ha
Funny how it keeps coming up!!

It is funny, isn't it? (did you catch the "wanted to buy the book, but maybe it's too impulsive" one, too? )

It's just all over your life, isn't it. And the funny thing is, everybody has their version of that identity level limiting belief, the one (and it's associated layers) that keeps you from being as powerful and effective as you'd like to be, and from feeling as good as you'd like to feel. Everybody. (Mine is: "I'm worthless" and another layer of it I just recently discovered is: "I'm more trouble than I'm worth.")

It's born when you are a little child, and you are faced with something that happens that you just don't yet have the inner resources to deal with effectively, because you were a little child. Something happened, and you made it mean something about yourself, like "I am ____." and you've been trying to prove it's not true, and to avoid people finding out that it IS true, ever since. (One way you and I saw a couple of weeks ago that you avoid people finding out that it IS true is that you use that nervous humor thing -- I recognize that one, cuz I had it, too. I think a lot of people have and recognize that one, even if they don't realize what it is they're covering up with it.)

The really good news is that, if and when you're ready to disconnect whatever that belief is, you'll find that you have power, choice, and opportunity that you never even imagined existed for yourself. That is good news, don't you think? You don't have to do it now -- you are not WRONG if you don't choose to disconnect it now -- please just realize that when you're ready to choose, you have a choice.

I know it's scary, but the most fun things in life often are. Until you do them, that is -- then you look back and laugh and laugh, from your new perspective of having chosen to generate a breakthrough way of being in your life.

[Angela]

@Rockchick, way to go, participating and encouraging someone and making a difference for them! I acknowledge you for that movement!

[ArthurHung]

So, you wanna be a badass.

IMHO, a badass is someone who, despite having other options on their disposal, is willing to commit to their option of choice, willing to sacrifice anything, including money, relationships, their own life, to create the very thing they intended for.

Basically, it's an intense commitment to follow through on their decisions.

At the same time, they are always open and appreciative during this laser like focus on their goal, so if life gives them an easier, flexible way of getting to what they want, indirectly or directly, if they feel so inspired, they have no problem ditching the very commitment that had got them up to that point in the first place.

Hope this helped

[Angela]

That is a definition of "Badass" I've never encountered before, and I absolutely LOVE IT!!!

[james6]

Originally Posted by

I want to go from nice, doormat, child, worried about what people are thinking about me to relaxed, independant, [I

chilled[/I], who-gives-a-crap-attitude person.

I'm asking, not judging but are they the only options? The kind of person you want to be, they are your final choice? have you considered other options?

Yes, the sedona method will help a lot. I also found trying to attune to my bodies energies, feeling them, helped significantly with implementing it. Enjoy it

[Solipsist]

Originally Posted by pinky3

Want to know if I can ever actually be who I want to be? Just curious?

What's wrong with just being Who You are?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Solipsist

What's wrong with just being Who You are?

That may be easier said than done when you've been practicing believing a thought like "I'm wrong" since you were a little kid.

And of course, it's a whole new ballgame when you dismantle that old, outdated belief.

[Solipsist]

Originally Posted by Angela

That may be easier said than done when you've been practicing believing a thought like "I'm wrong" since you were a little kid.

And of course, it's a whole new ballgame when you dismantle that old, outdated belief.

Don't I know it!

My apologies, pinky, if my question came off as a smart-ass remark. I didn't mean it that way. My intention was only to plant a seed.

And as you do dismantle your beliefs (by being Who You are, as I have suggested), you will look upon your posts here as an example of who you only thought you were.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Solipsist

And as you do dismantle your beliefs (by being Who You are, as I have suggested), you will look upon your posts here as an example of who you only thought you were.

Whoaaahhh, that was very trancey!

[Solipsist]

Originally Posted by Angela

Whoaaahhh, that was very trancey!

Maybe because I've been entranced?

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by pinky3

I want to go from nice, doormat, child, worried about what people are thinking about me to relaxed, independant, chilled, who-gives-a-crap-attitude person.

Begin by taking a Myer-Briggs or Enneagram test, to gain self-knowledge.

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by Angela

That is a definition of "Badass" I've never encountered before, and I absolutely LOVE IT!!!

Ahh Angela, thanks so much. I put a lot of heart into my posts and I really love it when people connect to them. If this definition is creative, and you love it, then your compliment is enthusiastic and I love it.

Rock on'.

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Solipsist

Don't I know it!

My apologies, pinky, if my question came off as a smart-ass remark. I didn't mean it that way. My intention was only to plant a seed.

And as you do dismantle your beliefs (by being Who You are, as I have suggested), you will look upon your posts here as an example of who you only thought you were.

No offense taken! I think your question was a good one. I think there are pieces and bit of me that are actually good and that don't need changing and that, too, is something important for me to remember. I seem to focus so much on what to change I forget what's actually good! I think there are things that need changing and I will find ways to do that, I hope

Thanks for your input!

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Angela

It is funny, isn't it? (did you catch the "wanted to buy the book, but maybe it's too impulsive" one, too? )

It's just all over your life, isn't it. And the funny thing is, everybody has their version of that identity level limiting belief, the one (and it's associated layers) that keeps you from being as powerful and effective as you'd like to be, and from feeling as good as you'd like to feel. Everybody. (Mine is: "I'm worthless" and another layer of it I just recently discovered is: "I'm more trouble than I'm worth.")

It's born when you are a little child, and you are faced with something that happens that you just don't yet have the inner resources to deal with effectively, because you were a little child. Something happened, and you made it mean something about yourself, like "I am ____." and you've been trying to prove it's not true, and to avoid people finding out that it IS true, ever since. (One way you and I saw a couple of weeks ago that you avoid people finding out that it IS true is that you use that nervous humor thing -- I recognize that one, cuz I had it, too. I think a lot of people have and recognize that one, even if they don't realize what it is they're covering up with it.)

The really good news is that, if and when you're ready to disconnect whatever that belief is, you'll find that you have power, choice, and opportunity that you never even imagined existed for yourself. That is good news, don't you think? You don't have to do it now -- you are not WRONG if you don't choose to disconnect it now -- please just realize that when you're ready to choose, you have a choice.

I know it's scary, but the most fun things in life often are. Until you do them, that is -- then you look back and laugh and laugh, from your new perspective of having chosen to generate a breakthrough way of being in your life.

Thank you for your perfect words. I think it's a good way to look at it... that I'm not wrong if I', not ready to choose to disconnect from it. I guess I feel that there is more to it that isn't yet discovered and that needs to be found. My mind is very unenthusiastic about change and I jump at the chance to get mad at why I have to change and why others can't... which really makes me lose focus because I'm the one losing out because of how I am... or who I am.

Thanks for your input again! It's very much appreciated!

x

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Begin by taking a Myer-Briggs or Enneagram test, to gain self-knowledge.

On line or professionally? I'm quite skeptical about certain personality tests but these I've never tried. Thanks.

[James81]

How do you get to carnegie hall?

[James81]

Originally Posted by pinky3

My self limiting beliefs?? Did I get an answer right hey right ha ha ha
Funny how it keeps coming up!!

I get a kick out of it too.

Because for me, it's themes of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, dark vs. light, etc. And it's interesting the more I look at how my life has been, that the most inspiring stuff to me in the past has been centered on those themes (themes of "redemption"). Probably why I went Star Wars crazy several years back (dark side vs. the light side), which was the catalyst that led me here actually. But that's a LONG story.

[ssandra]

Something that helped me was also to set an intention a few months back (and saying it to my spirit guides, the universe or whoever else was listing) to finally let go of whatever it is that had me keep being stuck all the time.

In the back ground things kept moving, although it seemed like things were still the same.


Maybe that will help you as well? Leave it up to the Universe to provide the way, just set the intention to solve this issue you have. Without even having to define the issue.

Things will come your way that will keep you on the path to being whatever it is you want to be being

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Something that helped me was also to set an intention a few months back (and saying it to my spirit guides, the universe or whoever else was listing) to finally let go of whatever it is that had me keep being stuck all the time.

In the back ground things kept moving, although it seemed like things were still the same.


Maybe that will help you as well? Leave it up to the Universe to provide the way, just set the intention to solve this issue you have. Without even having to define the issue.

Things will come your way that will keep you on the path to being whatever it is you want to be being

That is another way of looking at it. It's one that also makes sense to me. But it also bring me back to another "dilemma". I went to see a shaman who said I need a soul retrieval. I spoke to Rei about it etc but I don't know what the best thing to do is. You speak of talking to your spirit guides... I guess I know they're there but now I don't know how I can function with a piece of my soul missing, if it is, that is

I'm very new to the whole spirit guides and soul stuff... so ya???
Thanks for your input!