Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Mounds

I didn't read what TM said you should do... did he say not to work!?! Lol

If your problems are literally based in money, that's relatively easy to solve. Easier to deal with:

"I have bad money habits and it's putting strain on other parts of my life"

than:

"My entire life is horrendous and there's nothing I can do".

Maybe it's not 100% about money. Believe me though, that when you get your money under control, it's a lot easier to change other things. I'd focus on one thing as oppose to everything.

-Tim

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Ok so I told Themaster that I was going to take my 401k money out (if I need it, I haven't determined that yet) and I will keep trying to get a part time or full time job and if I don't get one by Sept. 30th I'll put my 2 month notice in, and if I don't get another job by the time I have to move out, I'll move in with my mom.

And he told me in so many words that I was doing what my ego wanted instead of fixing my spiritual problems.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You understand the only reason why it doesn't work for you "as you say" is your EGO, yes?

No I don't understand I can SEE that it doens't work for me, because I don't have what I want. How is that my ego, that's just my perception.

Of course another forum would tell you that.. as I said Even your dad, my uncle maybe, mom and all your friends might repeat that same message..

"New age is a new message" that many, many people might be in DENIAL about.. the reason why we allow this on this forum is cause it's founder talks about it all the time

Thinking outside the box is allowed on this forum.. it's not always allowed on any other forum..

Oh I know...but I needed to do it and I didn't want to come back here because I get a negative reaction, people want me to go away, not keep coming back with another problem or the same one. I wanted some fresh advice from people that didn't already know me.

I'm not arguing against this.. action might do it.. but I'm not sure how you’re going to get into action if you feel like your lazy? have social anxiety? etc.?

There are a lot of actions I can take that won't force me to have social anxiety, for example my B&B job. I get to work all by myself, or with my co-worker but thats different because we work together so it isn't like I'm serving a customer or taking care of someone, she trained me in so she's in charge, not me. No stress for me. And yeah I'm lazy but if I can find a job that pays the bills, I will gradually get better and I won't be as lazy anymore. Part of why I'm so lazy now is because I didn't have to work for so long, I got used to sitting around and I lost muscle and gained fat. Also part of why I'm lazy is because I am just feeling defeated by not having enough money, and when you feel like you are beaten down, you lose your energy.

Rockchick, I'm not calling you a liar! And yet I am.. what I'm saying is.. if you had really wanted a job 100% I think you and I can agree you'd have one by now..

If by that you mean I would be applying to literally every single job out there...then no I don't want a job bad enough to do just any job. Like I won't work at Walmart (although I did apply there last year, but that was before I learned how unethical they are). So yeah there are jobs I won't do but I have still applied for enough that I should have gotten more than 2 bites in this entire last year and a half. In a normal economy I probably would have gotten 75% of these jobs.

Perhaps like giving up the "spiritual books" it's time to give the ACTION journey up too.. this is what a lot of my text to you has been about.. has it not?

Give up action and spiritual stuff!? What does that leave? I still don't know what exactly you want me to do, do you want me to even try to get a full time job? Do you want me to completely surrender and let my bills pile up and crawl back home and hide in my room forever, miserable? I need a step by step plan of what you think I should do, real concrete steps, don't just say "let go" or something vague that I have to figure out.

Rockchick, this is your problem right here.. your judging yourself "bad" in essence your saying "I don't like me" every time you do something..

It's my like my father and his couch.. come on give yourself a damn break! Please??? For me??? With cherry's on top??

Don't judge yourself bad ever! I don't care if you spend the next 2 years playing nintendo on the street/your parents.. validate that it's okay to be that way.. and that's not a wrong life! If you would do just that simple act.. you would feel just a little happier everyday.. if you could walk around and say "I'm perfect, everything I do is perfect, nothing I ever do is wrong! EVER!"

I wish I could agree with you but I am hurting myself physically and mentally! I am HURTING myself by being lazy! That is never good. This is the kind of stuff that leads to health problems, and I really don't need any more types of problems. At least right now I am physically healthy enough to work, but if I keep damaging my body, something is going to happen where I won't be able to even work and then I'll really be up a **** creek.

BTW the crazy merry-go-round line above.. is from “the hudsucker proxy” movie.. when I first wrote it.. I could not remember which movie it came from.. as I finished your text up I consciously remembered.. it’s a great movie you should have a watch sometime see if you like it?

I'm pretty sure my friend has it, I'll suggest it next time I'm there!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You really need to work on appreciating things more it's helpful.. I know it's hard from where you’re at.. but I know you could do it!

I appreciate my independence (from my parents), my freedom, and my own place. These are the last remaining things I will cherish for the next 2 months (and we'll see how it goes after that!)

I wonder where you get these crazy beliefs..?? not from your friends from that “other” forum..?? they feed you so much garbage

I get them from experience! That's really all it is. If my experience would show me otherwise, I'd believe otherwise.

I think if you would fix your spiritual/ego problems.. then the job problem would fall into line..

Ok, it's fine that you think that way, but tell me this...how long, on average, do you think it takes somebody to be spiritually whole/balanced/healthy, whatever? Because I know it doesn't take overnight. It's probably a years-long process. Especially for someone in my shape. Would you agree that it would most likely take me at least 5-10 years before I can knock all my problems away with spirituality? Well, I don't want to be living at my moms house for 10 years. Why not fix the money problem immediately, one less thing to worry about, and then fix my spirituality? Because at least that way, one problem is fixed and the other is in the process, rather than one being in the process for 10 years and THEN the other will finally get fixed.

[Lauxa]

Hi there Rockchick, it's nice to see you again. Sorry you are having a hard time again. No advice from me, but I'll send a virtual hug your way, sounds like you could use one -- {{{ HUG }}}

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Yes, I know your confused.. I don't blame you.. it's like you have a "hearing" deficiency.. and sometimes only 1% of what I say gets through..

It isn't that only 1% gets through, it's that we just disagree. I hate when people say stuff to me like, "nevermind, you aren't getting it." No, it isn't that, it's just that I don't agree. I get what you're saying, but I don't see it that way and it just appears I misunderstand.

Validate when you create, validate yourself for being a good person.. I mean like yourself.. every time you catch yourself.. I just spent 20 minutes read the master.. but goddamit I could spent those 20 minutes on my all-consuming/unending job situation.. instead if you catch yourself giving yourself flack! Consciously right then and there.. validate that's not true.. you’re a good person And only you need to know it.. not me.. (pretty damn teary for some reason.. either talking to you or listening to the soundtrack to "the hudsucker proxy")

I never said I was a bad person or that I didn't like myself, YOU'RE saying that I'm saying that. If I really hated myself that much I wouldn't be alive right now. I know I'm just held back by my circumstances, but this doesn't make me a bad person.

I wouldn't be ashamed to hide it away.. just sharing this info about YOU with them.. would eventually make your life/journey easier.. hiding as you are.. doesn't help you..

Many of us HIDE cause were afraid.. of what others think, of pain in the past.. being slapped, hit or told were wrong!

That's why we hide! That's why I hide.. that's why you hide.. (also I like hiding or don't mind it in that.. I'm still building a stability platform of I'm untouchable.. I'm safe all the time.. it's being built it's already very solid now.. but could always use a little more work.. yah know? )

I hide mostly because I am too different from everyone else. My thoughts and beliefs and ideas are so different that in order to have conversations with people, I have to be fake. I have to pretend I'm interested in something or keep my mouth shut regarding my beliefs. I also hide because it takes my energy away being around people for too long. I feel myself when I'm alone. It has nothing to do with liking myself or not, because I talk to people the entire time I'm alone, on the internet. I'm not afraid to let them see me for who I am.

How's that focusing on the job going?? Ohh.. right.. not done yet..

Well I did get 2 of them in the last 9 months, that's more than most unemployed people can say.

Your stating here in plain text.. the spiritual/loa journey is useless and doesn't work! (this comes from reading all the books and then saying it doesn't work)

And then I ask again, again.. why bother? (4th or 5th time I've actually asked this question.. )

I didn't say these things don't work, I said they haven't worked for ME. I still believe in them, I'm still interested in them. I can't just turn off my interest. I always have this tiny bit of faith that a perfect life is possible for me. Even when I say things like "I see no future for myself", I still don't want to give up that easily. I say a lot of things where at the moment I felt them but of course it fluctuates, it goes in phases.

Come on! I've said this also to you before.. practice in the bathroom, practice when it doesn't count, practice when you’re walking/biking/driving to work..?? Practice when you just WISH you could practice!!

The only reason you don't have time for it.. is cause of your EGO that all dominating thing in your brain running in IMBALANCE.. keeping you in IMBALANCE... really say to your EGO.. I need some damn, balance please!

I don't know any other way to word this I cannot multitask with things like this. You can't meditate while you're writing out bills, can you? You can't ground yourself while you're getting ready for work or trying to catch up on forums! I can't do my job search and get all frustrated and then quickly switch modes so I can do some spiritual work and then have my phone ring and get frustrated dealing with my dad...I need a lot of time to adjust to things. I don't even like planning more than one thing for each day. I don't like calling someone unless I know I have an hour or two free where I won't get distracted. I need to have a buffer of time in between each thing I do. I can't even go to bed until after I've wound down from whatever I was just doing. I take a long time to get going and a long time to slow down. So injecting a little spiritual work in here and there would be just like reading a page out of a book while you're in the middle of trying to cook dinner, you aren't going to really get into it, you'll probably forget what you read, and your mind won't even register the words because you are trying to remember how long your dinner has been in the oven for.

Honestly, if I were the president.. I'd take a conscious breath.. sit back chill.. I wouldn't let "circumstances" effect me..

A good leader doesn't fly off the handle.. he's relaxed, confident, agile, swimming in the see of chaos.. cause that's his job!

You see we are talking about a "philosophy" here.. a mindset.. of pure clarity and ease.. and not letting the outside circumstances/world effect you..

I could throw any example at you and you would say "I wouldn't let it bother me." I give up.

And every time I say to you rockchick "don't let the outside effect you!" "you say but the outside is my problem!" and I say no.. the "the inside" is your problem.. building that wall that says "the outside is not important" is your problem!

But to me, it's more important to fix things as quick as possible, especially when you have pressing matters that will hurt you in the long run if you don't fix them now (health related, legal matters), so that's why I am so worried about hurting those things, and that's why I feel like anything else can wait, for now.

Another thing I wanna say about the President scenario...so you're saying he should learn Spanish, but if he focuses only on learning Spanish so he can fix his problems, he will have to drop everything else to focus on Spanish, otherwise he won't learn very well because he will be too busy dealing with his missing child and dead wife and the war that is his responsibility. So, he takes 3 months off to learn Spanish, in the meantime he hasn't properly grieved his dead wife, there are investigations going on that he was supposed to be there for, his child is now dead because he didn't help try to find her, and his country is taken over by foreigners because he wasn't there to tell his troops what to do. All because of this Spanish that could have waited.

Keyword here "survive" that's your EGO.. if you’re in survival mode even 1/10th you’re in a EGO mode..

The survival instinct is part of the EGO!? That's a first to me. Well every human wants to survive, when you take away everything, that's everyone's basic need. Now you've just lost me with this ego thing and I completely disagree. If someone was lost in the desert and was near death from starving and not having water, would you tell them, "You don't need water or food, that's just your ego talking!"

Your EGO as is mine is active as you write/read this.. it's there inside maybe even pulling up the words you write in a collective internal process It's there it always is.. I'm not telling you to call it bad.. I'm asking you to look at/observe yourself for your behaviors

The fear behavior.. observe it.. the "I can't do this" observe it.. the "I'm afraid to go to the bathroom around others" observe it!

Take a step back! Reach for a higher place and perspective.. if you would choose to observe yourself like a scientist.. you'd find a lot out about yourself! (emotional self, says "hello")

I am more like a scientist than anyone I know! All I do is analyze myself and my life and my options! But there is a reason why we have perception of things, so we can do something about them. We have feelings for a reason, to alert us to something that needs our attention. You can't just sit back and say, "Ha! I've gained so much weight from sitting around that now I have diabetes, how interesting! Maybe I'll sit back and observe myself for the next year and see how long it takes my toes to fall off!"

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Rockchick: Relaxing is doing nothing!

Do you think people get more work done when there calm centered feel good?

Or when they throw their hands in the air run around in panic mode.. "like" a chicken with its head cut off?

Why do you justify your ego's behavior..

10 to 1 rockchick, we can find a 100,000 study's on this big old internet that say.. a relaxed person is 10 times more effective than the "cut off head chicken person"

10 to 1 we can find a 100,000 study's that say a confident/optimist person, who likes themselves is far more likely to get a job then a neurotic shut in person that complains about their life.. rather than someone who chooses to see the cup half full

Why do you allow this behavior?

Why do you choose it?

There is hard cold scientific evidence that relaxed, calm, people who like themselves even love themselves.. excel at everything they do..

These study's don't say.. cut off your head! Wave your arms all around.. that's the best way to find a job!

You have to apply to jobs to get them. That's all I'm doing. I'm not running around in a panic, literally. The panic is all in my head, and I am simply sitting in front of my computer checking out job sites. It wouldn't matter if my head was calm or chaotic, as long as I'm applying for jobs, that's what I have to do.

It's like you’re working at a office all right? And your boss says..

"Write me the perfect report on this" and you go

Rockchick: Yes, sir!

And you go back into your office and write that perfect report.. and you re-read it/analysis it.. realize that part isn't perfect! And that part isn't perfect! And that part isn't perfect!

And before you know it.. all you can do is RE-READ that report making it more and more perfect.. to infinity!!!!

When if you just let go.. say this is the best it is.. I am the best I can be.. I'm certainly not a bad person! I'll just turn it in as is.. it is a perfect as it can be for this moment and time..

I DO do better after I revise things. All writers know that you get better with practice, and your rough draft is usually changed a lot before the final copy. I think anything in life should be done that way. You do it first, then go back and read it again as if you were someone else reading it for the first time, and you have an objective view of it. I re-read every post I reply to, and I also re-read every reply before I hit "submit". I can't believe anyone would teach you to sloppily throw something together and not even check it over.

What I'm really trying to say.. is your EGO behavior is a lot like the re-read.. and in it is a lot of self-criticism.. a not liking yourself..

From my personal opinion rockchick.. you really don't like you! A lot!

That has nothing to do with wanting to write a perfect paper. It's about refining something, fixing the flaws so you have something presentable. The first cars ever invented weren't perfect, thank God they didn't release those or people would have been left stranded on the side of the road! The prototype for something always has room for improvement. This has nothing to do with how much it's inventor likes themselves.

I mean you've already said.. you don't like being here?

Rockchick: I force myself out of bed every day!

There's no love or joy in this statement.. do you see that?

I don't like getting up because one, it's too early for me, I'm not a morning person, and even on my days off I have to get up early so it isn't so hard the next time I have to work! And two, I don't like getting out of bed because when I'm sleeping I don't have to deal with my problems. Of course there's no joy in my statements, because my life is all about problems, I can't do anything I enjoy anymore. I used to fly out of bed when I had something to look forward to and was able to get at least 7 hours of sleep.

You can't get that job until you relax.. you just can't..

I disagree. The employers that read my resume don't have a clue if I'm relaxed or not. I got 2 jobs in the last 9 months, stressed as all hell.

Sometimes you have to slip back down the handle! Cause you took the wrong fork in the road.. turns out this road was overgrown with weeds and made of dirt and every second you drove down it.. you felt more afraid and unhappy and uncertain

Do you see in this situtation why reverse or slipping down the handle might be a good thing?

Yes but only if you can get back into another spoke (is that even the right word?) and not stay in the handle forever.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

I get the feeling every time you say "I would never live with my parents!" you feel NEGATIVE when you say it.. that's creation.. when you feel that polarity!

Of course I feel negative when I say it, because I don't want it to happen! I'm sorry but I can't just say it and think positive about it when I don't want to do it.

And like everyone who had ambitions when you got there.. they got swept up by the game.. imagine it like this (this is from bashar)

A long time ago in a galaxy far-far away!

You were at the surface of the ocean and it was bright and shiny up there and beautiful and someone said.. "hey want to play a game?"

And you said "yah, sounds like fun!"

Here they said.. strap these weights to your body.. you’re going way down there.. it's going to be difficult but very rewarding!

Awesome! you said..

And then you fell to the very bottom of the deepest blackest part of the ocean it was dark and so dank and so far down from the gleaming sun.. that you couldn't see anything!

It was pitch black!

And these weights you didn't even recognize they were on you anymore.. you just couldn't feel it anymore..

But you looked up and saw the light.. and swam a little towards it.. and then you swam a little more.. and a little more.. and now you can see the hand in front of your face!

When you are consciously aware of "I don't like me" that weight on your body falls off just a little more and now you can go a little higher into the light rockchick!

All we've ever been doing for you here.. is trying to get you into more of that light.. where it's happy, and it's fun and you go "what lack?" that weight fell of years ago! <laughingly/joyously you say!>

Hope this helps..

I remember that, I listened to the mp3! But to me they're just good stories, they don't translate as well to real life. You can tell someone who is homeless and dying of cancer, "You're just at the bottom of the ocean, just look up for the light!" They'll laugh in your face.

Just taking a guess.. how do I know till you tell me?

I HAVE told you many times! I know I've had to defend myself on this matter many times in the history of this thread, because most people didn't understand how hard I was trying.

I often say it as you can choose how you feel.. you can reach for the best feeling thought (little abraham)

However, I've always got the impression you don't believe this.. maybe you should make sure you really believe this? I don't agree.. this is what the spiritual/law of attraction journey is all about..

I believe you can control your feeelings to an extent. Like I said before, I think humans have normal natural feelings that happen as a result of circumstances, and you have to acknowledge those feelings and feel them and process them and naturally move on up to the next one. Even in the Abraham books they say you can't bypass a bunch of them to get right to the top, you have to move from one to the other. So, how can you say it's possible to do that, then you're disagreeing with them!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

There all good things.. if you'd stop judging them bad or lack based..

Understand that each complaint you have about you.. is you saying

"I don't like me"

How much do you really hate yourself rockchick?

I mean really??

Do you loathe yourself?

How deep does that hate/loathing go?

What!? You think being unhealthy is a good thing? I 1000% percent disagree, if anyone else says those things I listed are good then we might as well give up this discussion now, that is where I cannot believe what you believe. I may not have much hope for my life but I can recognize my health slipping and I won't let anyone tell me it's ok to let yourself develop diseases and get fat.

I think if we found you "a free plane ticket to england" that wouldn't fix it!

I think if we found you a "RV with free unlimited gas" that wouldn't fix it!

We have to turn that "lack is everywhere" based mentality around to a mentality of abundance.. and I'm capable and I love myself

I don't see lack everywhere, only where I don't have something I want. Once again, I think you are taking everything I say literally like nothing in my life is good at all because of the things I am talking about in here. I have a list of things I want that I don't have, yes, but of course I am not going to talk about all the things I DO have, they aren't problems so they don't need to be talked about in here. And it isn't like if I am given a free chance to travel, I'm going to suddenly come up with a new hobby I need thousands of dollars for.

I think it's time we consider you talking in a new thread too.. you must understand.. that the threads title is bad "nothing works for me!"

It is a intention.. and says "nothing works for you!"

In fact why don't you start a new thread rockchick.. we let this one die.. give it a name like "everything works for me!" or something positive..

(when I wrote that for you.. I was just joking.. being playful) but I really think if you started a thread such as..

"how I changed my life"
"my intention to be a better me"
"rockchick's how to make your life better guide!"

Then we would be putting together something better..

Imagine for a second that you created that thread.. ???

That intention would carry over.. because you posted something so positive.. that energy would work.. we would see it created!

Please rockchick! start a new thread.. (take a step!) and apply all future posts past this one.. in there.. (link to old thread for reference.. or I can do it.. if you’re not able.. )

Please! start a new thread rockchick! Set the energy for your new life..

How about "rockchicks: my happy life" That's actually kind of easy.. do you know there's a thread somewhere on this forum..

Ok I think that's a good idea, I'll have to copy and paste my replies to these next posts so I can answer them in there otherwise we'll be doing this one forever. I'll think of a name and create it in a minute then I'll finish the rest of these in there.

Do you know there's blogs out there.. where people had job or didn't but travelled and made money?

traveling with no money - Google Search

Google finds much information.. in one second.. I don't see how you can't see the possibilities..?? it's there's rockchick, if you can dream it you can do it! It's real!

I'll check out that link after I send this...I think I've actualy typed that very thing into google before, I've tried every variation on doing all the things I want with no or little money. How to live, how to travel, how to get therapy, etc. In fact I'll be willing to bet whatever page that is I've already seen.

[Rockchick26]

New thread here!

Next chapter of my life (continuation from my old thread)

[themaster]

Great rockchick, glad you started a "new thread" hope you SET the energy!

I'm going to take some time on my next reply.. so don't think that I'm ignoring you or anything..

Also don't forget to check out.. Free Weekly "Consciousness Coaching" (if you can today) (it would be 8 your time which I know is only 2 hours from now.. but I guess there's always next week! )