Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[MagicalRealist]

I have been on a spiritual journey for the last 3 years! And coincidentally my life has gone downhill that entire time.

Yes, this happens, as I've described above. You're not the only person to go through this.

That's because the spiritual journey makes certain demands. If you resist those demands, and refuse to give up what is required, your soul will find ways to make you surrender them. Or, it will let you keep clinging to them, but at a terrible cost.

This doesn't mean a spiritual journey has to be hard and filled with grief and privation, though. Once you've learned to recognize when you're being asked to release something in order to make further progress, and become willing to release it, it's not so hard. Relinquishing an old pattern of thought and action can be an intensely joyful experience. But learning that primary lesson--that you must be willing to give things up in order to make progress--is incredibly difficult and painful for most people.

Being spiritual doesn't make things magically work out for you.

It doesn't make things magically work out for you on the ego level--which is what you've been asking it to do. And you're not alone in this; the I/M forum here is full of people doing the exact same thing and wondering why they're still not happy, and still not getting what they say they want.

"Being spiritual" will not bring the Great Cosmic Santa Claus down your chimney, bearing every toy on your list. That's not the point of spiritual growth.

Personally, I think the real point of "being spiritual" or "on a spiritual journey" can be reduced to one thing: living in this world without fear.

It's not about getting the money to buy the life you think you want. It's about living your life without being afraid, no matter what is happening in your external reality.

And by fear, I don't mean the intense feelings that arise in the moment when you realize your house is on fire, or a bear is charging at you, or you're halfway across the street and realize that speeding car isn't going to stop for you. I mean fear as the endless series of what-ifs and I-can'ts that dominate most people's mental chatter and run their lives.

If a bear is about to eat you, you have a reason to be afraid, in that moment. But most people are afraid in every moment, whether they are consciously aware of it or not--and most are not. They're afraid of what others will think, afraid of failure, afraid of inadequacy, afraid of rejection, afraid of damnation, afraid of judgment, afraid of loss, afraid of death, afraid of poverty, afraid of dependency, afraid, afraid, afraid.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It is change, but what good is change when it leaves you worse than before?

In ego terms, you may be worse than before. But in spiritual terms? You're not. You're getting an up-close and personal view of what happens when you live a life totally run by fear--and you're getting a chance to change it. It might not seem beautiful and miraculous and transformative, but it is.

Right now I am independent and free,...

No, you're not.

You still have your own apartment, so you have privacy that you won't have at your mom's. But you're utterly dependent on unemployment and your job to maintain an illusion of independence. And you are dependent upon external circumstances being absolutely perfect, and success assured, before you can act--otherwise, you're helpless to the point of paralysis.

And while you have had abundant free time since you got laid off from the paper factory, that is not freedom. The sheer volume of "Yeah, but..." statements I've seen from you in this thread show exactly how little freedom you have. As long as you remain as fear-ruled as you are, you will never have genuine freedom--only a flimsy imitation of it that crumples under the slightest stress.

I mean, when my parents die I'll get money, and that will get me out of my hole.

...

I mean, when my parents die I'll get money, and that will get me out of my hole.

I want you to really look at that statement, and ponder the kind of person who sees their parents' eventual deaths as a legitimate solution to their life problems.

But here's the truth: your parents could die tomorrow, and you could get your share of their estate, and in no time at all you will be back on a relative's couch, dependent upon their charity, looking for another dead-end job you will hate, and blaming external circumstances for your poverty and unhappiness. You know how some lottery winners end up even worse off several years after claiming their winnings? Same thing. Those lottery winners had problems that couldn't be solved by any amount of money, and so do you.

No amount of money, no matter where it comes from, will get you out of your hole. Your outward circumstances may change temporarily, but the reason you are in a hole in the first place is because that's where you're comfortable. That's your level. You've chosen it, and every single choice you make keeps you there.

Sure, it may be damp and full of worms, and you're kind of tired of looking at dirt and rocks all the time, but you feel safe there. To leave it all behind and climb out and live on the surface without guarantees is too scary, and you've already proven steadfast in your absolute refusal to deal with anything that scares you. So you stay in your hole (meanwhile digging it even deeper), and blame everyone and everything else for the fact that you live in a hole in the first place.

So what happens if your parents decide not to leave you more than a token inheritance, if any? What if they decide to leave it to their grandchildren, instead? What if they die, and it turns out they don't have any money after all, due to some misfortune?

And what if they keep on living? What if they make it to 100? Are you still going to be sleeping on their couch at age 75, waiting for them to die so your life can finally begin? Is that an acceptable scenario? Are you that determined to stay as you are right now?

(Okay, I've just realized that I got exactly what I needed to out of writing all this, so I'll stop. Thank you.)

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The only opportunities I can see out of this mess is that I can go back to living like a child again. But I don't want that! What 38 year old would? I could also sell everything I own and buy a tent and hike around the country (in the south, where I won't die from the cold), and scavenge for food. I know I said I wanted to live more free, but that is an extreme. I want to be free to do what I want, not be free as in not have anywhere to live. I still want structure, but I want freedom within that structure. I will have NO structure when I lose my apartment, I will be at the mercy or my MOTHER. Ugh! No amount of spiritual growth is going to make me happy about being a 38 year old child again.

More of the same rockchick.. lack! Victimization! Powerlessness!

And how does that feel?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You can't hold that against someone, of course ANYONE'S problems are nothing compared to what they would be if we lived that long ago. But that doesn't mean my problems aren't awful for me.

What you don't recognize rockchick.. is that those problems are repeating pattern!

Just cause today your problems are money, homelessness, moving in with your parents.. doesn't mean the problems of 400 years ago.. execution and lack of food.. aren't the same!

They actually are..

The only difference is we've lessened the pain for ourselves.. but those same problems.. those same lacks are the same thing as what your facing today.

And you really can't get out of it till you take responsibility!

Haven't heard you take responsibility once for your reality that I'm aware off besides a via "creations/manifestations" here or there..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm not living for my dad

Well, I've heard you say different.. I've heard you say.. "my dad's happiness, is more important than mine"

That's not a good way to be.. you should always come first!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I have been rebelling AGAINST what my dad says to do.

That's great rockchick.. but what is "rebelling" really?

It's resistance.. and what is resistance really?

It's creation.. you've been creating living with your dad *cough* mom.. congratulations!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

If my parents were alive I would have done that if I had to!"

It's interesting but your dad sounds more balanced on this issue then you!

Rockchick, if you were really acknowledging that you create reality and that your responsible for what's going on around you.. then you would realize that "moving in with your parents" is a choice.. but you prefer not to.. you validate it.. but you prefer "not to"

Anything else is a resistance a negative feeling and that is creation..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

As for the spiritual workout stuff...I don't do a lot of it because it isn't going to bring money in and help keep me independent.

Your absolutely right rockchick.. this stuff is HOOEY!

I mean I haven't acquired $60k magically.. it just came about

I don't have customers call me up and offer me free money for "no reason" I haven't made $500+ in a day just cause I "magically" requested it of the universe.. ohh no!

I worked hard, toiled in the field all day.. and when I went to school we went in bare feet.. we had no radio or ipod! It was hard work missy!

Rockchick, if this how you feel.. why are you on this forum??

Why do you even bother with these self-help books.. after all it's 3 years of a uphill ride??? Maybe, it's time to get off this crazy merry-go-round

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

One thing at a time. I've always felt like if I could just relax and not worry about a job and bills and rent, then I would be able to do things like that. I have to keep reminding everyone that I am constantly in a state of trying to figure out my problems. There is no relaxing for me.

Sorry, rockchick your excuses or bs isn't gonna work with me!

Not a true statement in there.. from my perspective..

If you really wanted a job..

You wouldn't let your mom's shopping! Or your dad's being in the hospitable! Or the government telling you, you owe $500! Or the fact you don't have a car get in your way!

You just wouldn't.. don't tell me lies that you don't take time out every day to be happy as you can be.. whether on the computer or reading a book..

You don't live every day in a panic.. I know that as fact.. even though multiple times on here.. you've described panic.. that worry's you and DOESN'T!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I can't get my brain to work correctly when I'm stressed out and I have been stressed out for the last 500 days (give or take).

If you believe this rockchick.. then certainly it's true for you.. but at the same time I don't believe you..

I don't believe in your writing to me.. that you were in a super "panic" mode unable to rest or relax.. cause you must have that job! So you don't have to live with your parents!

And yet just as it appeared in February.. and even earlier.. it looks like you’re going to live with your parents! Anyway

You've manifested jobs rockchick.. now why haven't they worked out again?

Ohh yah, I know you have a ton of EGO excuses.. poor hours, animal shelter works me to death *cough* bed and breakfast

And I'm pretty sure if we could get you another job today, rockchick the list of complaints would go on..

Even though I've said this to you a number of times.. let me say it again clearly

A JOB WON'T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS ROCKCHICK!

This is a case where your trying to get a "magic" fix but every time you try to get it.. it doesn't fix ♥♥♥♥♥!

Even if you had this coveted "magic pill" job.. it still wouldn't fix your problems rockchick.. they'd just manifest in NEW ways..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

who tell me I can choose what I feel, I don't believe that's 100% true

And why don't you believe that?

Why don't you believe you can choose a better thought?

Where you were complaining.. about how you don't have this and this and this! And then all the sudden you could change to a "rampage of appreciation" I'm so glad I have a tv and working computer and apartment for now!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

"Well I'm going to choose to skip over the grief part and go right to happiness" it's just impossible

It's only impossible because you BELIEVE it's impossible.. it's quite possible and let me say that more clearly.. it's not just possible it can be done.. I might even be at the place where I can do that..

Choosing to react to death as bad is a choice if you consciously know that "death is a illusion"

I can tell you that my grandma died last year.. I felt very happy for her.. (I didn't think she was happy here.. and incidentally or weirdly.. when she died I had a tarot fortune that there'd be "5 days of sorrow or something")

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

and if you can do it then you're either not human

Thanks, I'm not human now!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

you're such an enlightened being that most people would think you're not human.

Well, thanks now, I'm still not human..

I guess it's time for me to get a bumper sticker that says "I'm from outer-space"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Right now I'm just in shock about it all

I'd say you've been in shock for 500 days.. but then again what you call "shock" I would just call living your life and IGNORING your problems..

As I said rockchick many times before.. it seems to me your creating a way for you to NO LONGER ignore your problems and I've only said that to you like 5 times now.. in 5 months’ time

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I've halfway thought up a plan in my head, that if I don't get a full time job or another part time one by Sept. 30th, that's the day I'll have to put my 2 month notice in to move out Dec. 1st. Then, I'll take my 401k money out (because that's all the money I have left) and make that last til then so I at least won't get kicked out of here prematurely, and assuring that I will be able to rent again with no problems. Then I'll probably try harder to get another job and then if I get one in that time, I'll have to move anyway but at least then I'll be able to get a cheaper apartment or live at the B&B. I can't really do that unless I have another income so that's why I haven't commited to that option yet.

Yes, well I see you have a EGO plan in place..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I need money, and I can't wish for it and have it appear unless I work for it. I had that magical belief that I could just want it enough and it would come, but I've learned that's a crock of crap. From talking to other people on other forums about that very subject, I learned that I need to work for the things I want in life

You didn't need to talk to other people on other forums about this rockchick..

You could have just talked to your neighbor or your mom and dad.. they would have fed you those "beliefs" too.. there not wrong, rockchick! But these beliefs are limiting.. and more than likely in part why you can't get LOA to work..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It's only because I can't find a full time job.

LOL you can't use LOA cause you need a full time job first?

I didn't know the requirements were so stringent.. dammit, why does it work for me, I don't have a full time job.. I don't even have full time business work??

Who should I see about this???

Where can one talk to "god" about how LOA works??

Rockchick, I know what you’re saying here.. your saying "I've been too stressed to use LOA these 500 days and I can't take even 1 damn minute to use it.. cause I enjoy being stressed!"

Okay, fine have it your way.. have fun with "stressed"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I really enjoyed it back when I had my main job, but didn't get to enjoy it for very long. Cuz after that my priority became money, not personal growth. I have to be secure before I can relax.

This much I do understand rockchick..

I understand you got your EGO up working full time 100% of the time! Doing the 2 things it knows how to do.. 1. Keep you safe! 2. Have you fit in..

Seems like it's doing #1 all the time for yah..

I'm just trying to tell you rockchick, the EGO can't make you safe.. and really can't get you a job! That's all with your higher self..

Once again I suggest you step back tell your EGO to calm down.. relax and let a "higher you" take care of these problems.. I'm not telling you to do "nothing"!

I'm telling you to relax.. really have your EGO relax..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I thought we proved it wasn't your fault Because I quit posting on here for a while, and things didn't change, in fact they got worse. My life circumstances are entirely independent from what happens on this forum. When I can talk on here though, it helps me vent and brainstorm and see things differently, but it doesn't help my situation at it's core.

I actually once again disagree with your rockchick.. first off I've seen some change in you! (whether you validate or not!)

And secondly I can't believe in over 100+ pages to this and other threads.. you weren't helped.. you were helped Somehow, someway..

But I have to really say.. a lot more people were helped then just you.. I know that one for a personal fact..

You might also care to look at this statement above as a "belief" almost.. you see you just stated that no matter what happens, no matter what you say..

Nothing we say here can help you.. And that's true if you believe it's true.. it just makes me wonder why you vent in the first place.. if that's not helping??

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You mean take me to like one of those healing seminars? I'd gladly do that if I didn't have to pay for it, but how would we arrange that?

We'd ask..

If you want to do this.. let me know.. we’ll see what we can accomplish..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The butterfly analogy isn't the same as what's going on with me. All caterpillars change into butterflies, it's just how they were made. But not all people have to move in with their parents at age 38 and start over. It's not growth, it's moving in reverse, and there is no set time on how long until you emerge again, it could be decades!

This is your judgment rockchick.. it's not mine.. I don't share your opinion..

For the record I lived with my parents 9-10 years after I became a legal adult on purpose/cause I chose too.. not cause I was forced too.. I lived with my dad to help him out..

Sometimes a little reverse.. helps a change in direction.. take a FORK in the road.. didn't you know that?

I remind you again rockchick, if you want to stop manifestation.. make sure you feel no RESISTANCE about it.. be NEUTRAL recognize that living with your parents is a valid option.. then you can use the POWER of preference..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

To answer your question though, about what is not serving me, my lack of money is not serving me. Because it limits what I can do and it causes me stress and panic and worry. I know you are going to say something like "quit blaming it on money", but it's what it always comes down to, every time. OR being able to have my own place somehow, either by inheriting it or winning money or getting married to a guy who has money, whatever.

Rockchick, I believe and I know you may not..

That this is a designed "physical" reality that we created everything you see here.. even if we can't remember "consciously" we did.. okay?

I believe that when you were in "non-physical" before you came here.. you said I'm going to have a fun valid experience, I'm going to do this and this and this.. and I'm going to have a great time..

I don't believe for one second you said!

I'm going to come to earth at 37+ I'm going to give myself a financial/safety/apartment/hate my parents crisis and focus on being PANICY and in LACK and hating myself and DOUBTING my abilities.. and spend all my days focused on this..

I just don't believe you said that/chose that.. k?

What happened to you rockchick, is what happens to everyone down here on EARTH in the currents of our reality, where there is lack and everyone tells you "you need a job and money to survive" else you'll be eaten by crickets and live on the streets and that's BAD!

Try and remember and be the person you came here to be.. stop REACTING as best you can and choose to see yourself as powerful as loving as worthy as beautiful as intelligent as DIVINE love incarnate!

[themaster]

Well.. at least try..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That is still not making sense. The things I am talking about are a place to live, food, a phone, car insurance, and gas to get around. How are those things flawed, so that I'd have to fix them? They are things that everyone has, (or at least is trying to get), they are things people need.

Yes, but the subject matter here is "lack"

You seem to think you "lack" these things without the excuse of a job.. and with your EGO searching the want ads every day for that perfect fix for it.. (except bet you search them like once every 2 weeks )

I'm saying that maybe in your past (present) you dealt with a lot of lack.. and now you've manifested at your age of 38 a crisis to help you re-focus yourself..

And yet it's like you REFUSE to re-focus.. even though your given much opportunity and knowledge..

As I said before.. I'm not you.. I'm not that good at my psychic abilities yet (though there getting better ) so knowing what your doing is hard for me.. all I mainly get is text..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It isn't entirely the government's fault, or my dad's fault, or the economy's fault...but it isn't entirely mine either. I probably had the possibility to rise above all this, given all the crap I was given,

So the answer is no, then???

You’re a victim.. you have no power over reality.. ♥♥♥♥♥ happens to you, not through you!

And how does that feel to be a victim? To have no power as the politicians greedily steal from us and care not about us? How does it feel to have beg for a job from behind the desk of someone else? Rather than know you create reality and you can just COMMAND a job??

See I can go on and on about the victim mentality.. but there is only 2 ways.. be a victim or accept responsibility for your reality in all ways and all forms..

You know what I suggest rockchick..?? but I guess maybe empowerment is not for you.. that's okay.. you'll get there one day..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am a weak person. Left to my own devices, I get lazy and only want to do things I want to do. That is not a strong person if you ask me.

Wow, awesome rockchick.. you call yourself lazy and that's all you know how to do.. in the next statement you "judge yourself bad"

You actually remind me of my father.. yah, know the guy I spent 8+ years of my life helping..

My father did 2 things mainly when I lived with him.. one he would get drunk go out to his garage and work on cars.. or really probably just do nothing (we in the family always kind of looked at as nothing.. even today I think)

Or 2 he would sit on the couch (hangovers sometimes) and watch TV.. history channel, buffy, housewives, lost whatever.. he watched it all! (mainly)

And he would be calm, relaxed etc. but the funny thing is..

My dad judged that as lazy.. and he hated that! In fact he hated himself!

If he didn't go out to that garage and get drunk! lol he hated himself for sitting on the couch..

What was ironic was.. I thought that was his best qualities on the couch, calm, quiet, relaxed.. but my dad had some sort of belief that was like "hard work is it's own reward!" "I must be working hard or I'm bad!"

And so even though I really liked my dad when he was on that couch watching tv.. he judged himself BAD for doing it!

Sounds like what you just said..

I'll admit, I'm one lazy sonofa#%#% and I got no problem with it.. I don't call myself "bad" I love myself.. for all my qualities

It's different perspective rockchick and a different way of doing things

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

it's just that my life circumstances have allowed me the chance to get weaker and I took it because I always take the easy way out.

Do yourself a favor rockchick.. tell yourself your stronger, smarter, lovelier.. just give some damn credit to yourself!

You really do have a lot of criticism for yourself.. that isn't helping you..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wait, you are agreeing with me! I said I wouldn't tear down a perfectly good house and you said yes but then you said you'd tear down a faulty house. I agree that I would tear down a faulty house too but not one that has nothing wrong with it

Rockchick, I wouldn't tear down a good house either.. unless I felt like it/it was fun

But when I made a analogy to tearing down a house with mold in it and built on sand.. I was making a reference to you..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The only thing I wasn't happy about before was that I didn't have enough money to do the things I wanted. I HAD what I wanted (my own place, a car, money for gas, and bills), I just didn't get to DO what I wanted because I was only getting enough money to survive. Now I'm being stripped of the basics, so that the things I want to DO are getting even farther and farther from my reach.

Bull, Rockchick! Last time I checked what you really wanted was to travel..

Did you ever think that maybe you pulled down this "facid" this "mirage" of a place to live.. so that you could build your dream of "Traveling" in a camper..??

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am an optimist when things are looking up, but I am a pessimist when they're looking negative. I would never complain if I suddenly got offered a job I loved and had enough extra money to do all the things I want to do and get my own place and not have to worry about bills anymore. But, I'd be complaining again the minute any of that got taken from me. I don't know anyone who wouldn't act like this. I don't think anyone is ever a 100% pessimist or optimist. It all depends on how things are going.

Actually, I've become quite the optimist myself.. I wouldn't call me "perfect" but now you know someone who would act like this..

Rockchick, I just really have some disbelief/pessimism that if we could get you a "magic pill" it will make everything better..

There are some cool stories in the "newspaper" and one of them that is neat is sometimes to hear even when people get millions of dollars winning the lotto.. there problems didn't magically disappear.. some of them who managed to win the lotto.. lost it all!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I think we're talking about totally different things here or something

No, actually were really not.. how you feel about yourself.. is how you create..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I can't figure out how the things I'm talking about have anything to do with self esteem.

Where did all these "negative" beliefs come from, rockchick?

- I can't live my parents, I'll have no privacy!
- Living with my parents is taking a step backwards, how embarrassing!
- I can't go to the bathroom without other people being asleep, I just can't do it!
- I have solution for my problems in life.. "I'm depressed, yes that's it" now that I know I'm depressed I will be better
- I can't meet with strangers they'd be a psycho killer or something.. I can spend 30+ hours talking to them online.. but meet them! Are you crazy or something?? He could chop up cats in his backyard or something.. how should I know??

These beliefs go on and on with you.. I don't even think I caught 1/10th of them in this thread..

It's these beliefs about yourself and these judgments about the world that you adopt rockchick that are f#$^#$^ up your life.. that's just my opinion.. but I don't think I'm the only one..

The way to happiness, ease and yes even creating easier in your life is to "let go" the reigns your so desperately holding onto with your EGO in this life..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Everyone on this planet wants to have a place to live, even if they're homeless, I bet they WANT a place of their own.

Not everyone rockchick! You don't speak for everyone.. you don't speak for people who enjoy a "nomad" lifestyle.. you don't speak for indians that were born on a island in the south pacific! You don't speak for everyone..

This is a limiting belief rockchick.. it's not wrong.. it's just limiting.. broaden your horizons.. open up.. some homeless people have been offered homes! For free only to return to the streets because they ENJOY/PREFER it more..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That doesn't mean everyone doesn't love themselves.

Rockchick, everyone doesn't love themselves! I'm telling you straight..

If we loved ourselves.. we would smile all the time.. if we loved ourselves.. we wouldn't let MONEY come between us and our JOY!

If we loved ourselves.. we would see in every person the glint of ourselves and love them all the more..

I can really go on and on.. with the "if we loved ourselves" I'm just asking you to acknowledge that if you loved yourself 100% you wouldn't be down about not having a job! or no money! or no boyfriend! or being bad at LOA!

You would find each day exhilarating as a child does..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

And as for those other perks (phone, internet, cable), I'd say 99% of people have at least one of those things. Maybe not all over the world but in the US. So are you saying almost everyone in this country doesn't like themselves cuz they want to have a cellphone??

No, rockchick.. I'm saying love of yourself! Transcends material possessions! Love of yourself transcends needing a apartment! Love of yourself transcends I can't live with my parents!

I guess, you didn't "pick that up" the last time.. do you have it now?

[Mounds]

Hi Rockchick,

I skimmed through some of your posts. Not sure how to put the following lightly, just realize it's meant as a positive message.

Your posts remind me of someone who thinks that scratching a winning lottery ticket will solve all your problems. I also read that your parent's death will be a long awaited payday which will, of course, solve all your problems.
I also get the feeling that your waiting for someone else to swoop in and change your life. Judging by the 85 pages that this thread has become, I don't see that going so well.
So here are my thoughts on what to do. First off, learn to handle what money you do have. Go to the library and read about it. Bring a few pieces of paper and a pen, make notes. Figure it out. If I could inject the information directly into your brain, I would. Unfortunately, I can't though so your gonna have to do it yourself.
Second, find work. Doesn't matter what it is, whether it be a desk job or delivering pizzas. Apply everywhere until you have a job.
Third, take ten minutes every morning to decide what your going to do TODAY to improve your situation. Not when you scratch a winning ticket, not when your parents die, not when the clouds open and God smiles down on you. TODAY.
Fourth and most importantly, do not reply to this post telling me why none of this will work. You have a staggering 85 pages of proof that this strategy does nothing for your situation. Time to take charge.
Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Stop doing the same thing!

-Tim

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

If I was a creator God, I would make money appear where I will find it, and I would be visiting England right now, and I would be planning a bunch of concert road trips with all my new awesome friends, and I would have a boyfriend too, and a perfect body. *looks around* It doesn't look like I'm a creator God.

Nicely put

But what if I said this..?

You are creator god so powerful and so strong.. you put yourself in a "limitation physical reality experience" where you could experience the "illusion" that could not instantly manifest! Where you could complain about "lack of money" and bad parents! Where you could experience the inability to travel to "england" or create a boyfriend or a perfect body!

Well guess what rockchick..?? the "illusion" is wearing thin.. perhaps within your lifetime and probably definitely mine! The illusion will be so thin that you can travel to england, create that boyfriend, play with your body.. whatever..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well obviously feeling empowered does, but that's like saying to people in the hospital, "Why are you sick!? Doesn't it feel better to be healthy? Just get up and go home!"

Ironically, this is a perfectly valid way to help people..

You could also give them "sugar pills"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Or asking every woman on the street to love you when they don't even know you.

Perfectly valid.. you know what the irony is..?? That every person on that planet does know you! (they may just not remember )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You can't just make someone feel something if they aren't feeling it.

Yes, I understand what you’re saying.. but you see were trying to get you there.. one step at a time..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

My dad has been negative forever, if what you're saying is true he should have died as a child. He didn't even die when he had his heart attack. How funny you should say I'm making him die quicker, because he told me I'm the reason why he had the heart attack in the first place!

Yah, you've said that before.. you ever notice that you say it as a "victim"

Your trying to get people to "judge" your dad as a awful person.. I actually don't share that opionon.. doesn't matter if he beat you, raped you, never said "I love you" your dad is actually a great person.. he may be "negative" here on this time space reality.. but were all great people inside!

So no, rockchick I don't share your judgment as I assume that's really what it is..

I say again your dad is dying.. say your goodbyes.. more than likely he can't make the shift.. you still can!

You wouldn’t have the opportunity if you weren't on this forum.. what I mean is.. knowledge of "abraham" of "law of attraction" already.. means you want to make it! You want to join us.. but maybe you’re just going to have to sink like the "titanic" first.. Meet your iceberg!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Exactly, it's like I want to be strong and powerful and alive, but I'm just too lazy and tired to put forth the effort. I've always been this way though.

You always will be this way! If you keep letting your EGO run the show..

You are a powerful EGO rockchick.. you don't let your emotional self out.. you don't let the physical.. you are all DOMINATING all the time..

I remember how we were talking about before (I believe) telling your EGO you love it etc. but I haven't seen that side of you at all in these conversations.. it's like you FORGOT about all of that..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It isn't like I'm totally guessing how I would feel living at my mom's, I KNOW. I lived there until I was 26 and then I lived there again when I was in my early 30's. But that was before my nephew was born so I was able to get my old room back. That was also when I was working full time so I had somewhere to go every day and I had money to drive there. All of those things changed since then. Me and my mom argue when we're together too much, I'm not making that up either. I'm also older now so it will be worse just for that reason. I feel like I'm already behind on life, at least before I only lived at home cuz I knew I was buying a house shortly. This time I'd be moving home cuz I have nowhere else to go.

Yes, yes I understand rockchick..

Your ego analysis/reasoning.. I understand.. still I just don't believe you’re doing anything to stop this "freight train" besides for your coveted plan above..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well I guess I have no choice, really, because if I'm going to live there, those things will have to get dealt with, I just don't think they'll go away, I think they'll get worse. If someone is allergic to peanuts you can't just say "Well if you work in a peanut factory maybe it'll help you get over your peanut allergy", it doesn't work that way.

It doesn't work that way cause you "believe" it doesn't that's the only reason it doesn't..

Some people have worked at a "peanut factory" and lost their peanut allergy..

Some people have hated clowns all there life and worked at a circus.. and now they love clowns!

Some people hated spiders and then they went into a scientific study of spiders and learned to love them!

Everything I said is true rockchick.. why do you always see the negative?? The lack??? The that's not possible..!!

I see possible everywhere..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It isn't about learning things from him, I don't care if he has all the answers to life, I still don't have the energy and the pep to deal with a child.

Maybe, you should choose a corner and just choose to lay down and die?? Hey, just a thought..

Maybe you should be like.. I'm too old and crotchety to work with them dang "new" fangled computers! I walked to school in my bare feet 5 miles every day at 30 below you dang whipper snappers!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

All I feel like doing right now is moping

That sounds like fun!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

sitting around, listening to music, sleeping

That sounds better..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

anything but being active with a little kid that doesn't understand that people are not up to being around other people at the moment.

I really think you could learn a lot from this kid!

He doesn't wake up every day wanting to be "mopey" he wakes up every day excited..

I think he's confused why you wake up every day.. "mopey"

I think he's confused why you wake up every day.. "not up to to be around other people at the moment"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I probably won't even have a phone in November. I wish you were coming NOW. I feel like by then it'll be too late, I will already be in the middle of whatever my next step will be.

Rockchick, it may be right now.. it may not be me! But we might get someone giving you some regular visits every week..

All you have to say is "let's try it"

And I'll see what can be done.. by asking my "family" (the other one that's not here! ) to see what we can do.. to empower and uplift you..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

What I didn't see at the time, in the midst of all my fear and anger at external circumstances, was that I was at an important crossroads on that spiritual path. In order to continue I had to release a tremendous amount of physical, psychological, and spiritual baggage I'd been dragging along. I had to stop clinging to things and beliefs that were holding me back.

Well, said.. this is what I've been saying to rockchick as well.. about the "titanic"

I'll stop reading from here.. for now..

Since I know your reading rockchick, I will also say again.. it's never too late to turn the "boat" around.. you can still avoid a "collision" (possibly) you have certainly done a admirable job manifesting the 2 jobs you have done.. but haven't corrected the "problems" in you.. or that miraculous 3rd job would be here already if you had.. that's my opinion.. of course it doesn't count

Thanks for sharing your truth with us MagicRealist

Originally Posted by Mounds

You have a staggering 85 pages of proof that this strategy does nothing for your situation.

The 85 pages is all me mounds.. I'm just really bad at this self-help stuff

(for the record it's a joke )

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

(I wasn't going to respond to this. I do think this thread needs to die, and I cringe at the thought of contributing to it again. But at the same time, there are things you've said that I feel the need to respond to, even if it's only because you're mirroring something for me that I need to see in myself.

So I'm going to write my answers anyway, and at the end I will either hit "Submit Reply"...or not.)

Well I'm glad you hit "submit", I would hate to have you type all that for nothing!

But those things and beliefs were familiar, comforting, and important to my external identity and internal sense of self. You know how little kids will cling to a ratty stuffed toy or scrap of their blankie that is filthy and falling apart? It was just like that. My ego desperately needed them to survive. My emotional equilibrium (such as it was) depended on them.

Funny you bring up a scrap of blankie...I had EXACTLY that, it was the ribbon part that goes along the edges of the blanket, and I kept it for YEARS, I mean I was going on like 7 or 8 when I still had it (from age 3 or 4 I think). I even had a name for it! "Piece" (as in piece of my blanket). Now that I think about it, I feel that way about a lot of things in my life. But I don't understand why people make a big deal of holding on to those things. What harm would it do to still have that stuff? I don't see why it's necessary to drop them in order to move on. I don't see how not having that stuff will prevent you from having a life you want. And even the things I don't want to lose...my privacy and independence and freedom, why must I lose THOSE in order to better my life? If those are the 3 most important things to me, what good would anything else be if I had to give up those things? And if you're talking about things like a cellphone, internet, cable, etc...I just don't believe you can't have a life you want if you have those things. That just seems silly, like "You can't have a good job unless you sell your lamp you had from when you were 10 years old!"

So my higher self/soul/whatever you like to call it made the decision for me. It took me out to the deepest water, in the middle of the darkest night--into the situations I feared most--and shoved me and all my cherished baggage overboard. And as terrified as I was, I realized then that I had a new choice to make: panic, cling to my baggage, and drown--or face my fear, release my baggage, and start swimming.

I want to know in real-life terms what you did. How did you come back up from being homeless and at the lowest part in your life? I don't respond well to vague nature-based comments

You've been given (have given yourself, actually) the chance to transform your life. You're still giving it to yourself on a moment-by-moment basis. At any time, you can drop the things and beliefs you've been clinging to, and choose a different life for yourself. You can start swimming, unencumbered.

Well, in all honesty, I could have transformed my life ANY time. At least I had the means before.

This is what so many people have been trying to tell you in this thread. It's what your soul has been trying to tell you.

My soul is telling me to lose the very things that are more important to me just to...what, struggle to get them back again? I appreciate them already, I don't need to lose them to know that.

You can have the life of love, joy, freedom, expansion, abundance, fulfillment that you long for--but in order to have it, you have to stop making fear-based decisions, and letting fear rule your life.

Forgive me but this just sounds too silly to be true. Lets say I can get a job as a receptionist or I could get a job as a photographer. So you're saying if I choose the receptionist job (the one I'd be afraid of), that I would suddenly be happy and have a life of abundance? Just because I chose the one I was afraid of?

Because horrible options are the only ones you create for yourself.

I hardly think I created the option of living with my mom, it's really the only option anyone has if they have nowhere to live...back to the parents' house.

I know my answers have all been pretty harsh, I'm just skeptical because it sounds too wacked to be true.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

"Being spiritual" will not bring the Great Cosmic Santa Claus down your chimney, bearing every toy on your list. That's not the point of spiritual growth.

Personally, I think the real point of "being spiritual" or "on a spiritual journey" can be reduced to one thing: living in this world without fear.

It's not about getting the money to buy the life you think you want. It's about living your life without being afraid, no matter what is happening in your external reality.

I don't have any FEAR of living at my mom's, that isnt the right emotion. It's more like...I would be putting myself into a situation that would bring out the worst in me. Not fear, just more dysfunctionality. And I would become more of a recluse than I already am. When I lived at home before, I never came out of my bedroom. Tonight I went over to my mom's for 3 HOURS and when I was done reading the newspaper, I couldn't wait to get back here and I was SO glad I still have my own place.

And by fear, I don't mean the intense feelings that arise in the moment when you realize your house is on fire, or a bear is charging at you, or you're halfway across the street and realize that speeding car isn't going to stop for you. I mean fear as the endless series of what-ifs and I-can'ts that dominate most people's mental chatter and run their lives.

If a bear is about to eat you, you have a reason to be afraid, in that moment. But most people are afraid in every moment, whether they are consciously aware of it or not--and most are not. They're afraid of what others will think, afraid of failure, afraid of inadequacy, afraid of rejection, afraid of damnation, afraid of judgment, afraid of loss, afraid of death, afraid of poverty, afraid of dependency, afraid, afraid, afraid.

Yeah I understand all this. I know most of us are always afraid of something. I just don't see why everyone is acting like I'm wrong for being this way when most people are this way, it's natural and normal. Well maybe not a good normal but it's just how humans are. What percentage of people is not like this?

No, you're not.

You still have your own apartment, so you have privacy that you won't have at your mom's. But you're utterly dependent on unemployment and your job to maintain an illusion of independence. And you are dependent upon external circumstances being absolutely perfect, and success assured, before you can act--otherwise, you're helpless to the point of paralysis.

And while you have had abundant free time since you got laid off from the paper factory, that is not freedom. The sheer volume of "Yeah, but..." statements I've seen from you in this thread show exactly how little freedom you have. As long as you remain as fear-ruled as you are, you will never have genuine freedom--only a flimsy imitation of it that crumples under the slightest stress.

Well yeah youre right, I'm not independent in the purest sense of the word...but I'm independent from my parents, anyway. And everyone is dependent on their job, that's how so many people end up homeless because they lose their source of income and then what, there's nothing you can do.

As for my freedom, yeah you're right I didn't have total complete freedom, like to go on trips to see the world, etc. but I am free in that I can go to my friend's house anytime I want and I don't have to ask anyone for their permission first. The things I want are simple, I just want to be able to live away from my parents and to be able to come and go as I please without having to tell them what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm with.

I want you to really look at that statement, and ponder the kind of person who sees their parents' eventual deaths as a legitimate solution to their life problems.

But here's the truth: your parents could die tomorrow, and you could get your share of their estate, and in no time at all you will be back on a relative's couch, dependent upon their charity, looking for another dead-end job you will hate, and blaming external circumstances for your poverty and unhappiness. You know how some lottery winners end up even worse off several years after claiming their winnings? Same thing. Those lottery winners had problems that couldn't be solved by any amount of money, and so do you.

It isn't like I'm anxiously awaiting it, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that if nothing else happens to bring me financial independence, at least I have a house coming to me and a lot of money (these things are guaranteed). And I wouldn't be one of those people who blows their lottery winnings, they spend them stupidly.

No amount of money, no matter where it comes from, will get you out of your hole. Your outward circumstances may change temporarily, but the reason you are in a hole in the first place is because that's where you're comfortable. That's your level. You've chosen it, and every single choice you make keeps you there.

I have to disagree. I'm in this hole because of the economy. I would have never lost my job, but even if I did, I would have been able to get another one a hell of a lot easier than this.

So what happens if your parents decide not to leave you more than a token inheritance, if any? What if they decide to leave it to their grandchildren, instead? What if they die, and it turns out they don't have any money after all, due to some misfortune?

And what if they keep on living? What if they make it to 100? Are you still going to be sleeping on their couch at age 75, waiting for them to die so your life can finally begin? Is that an acceptable scenario? Are you that determined to stay as you are right now?

Well, I'll humor you then, even though these things are guaranteed (already in the will, and I already signed to be co-holder of my dad's bank account). But if some wierd thing happens and I don't get anything, I will just keep doing whatever I end up doing (once I get through this). I am not doing anything different, it isn't like I'm planning for this to happen. I'm still going to try to be independent.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Haven't heard you take responsibility once for your reality that I'm aware off besides a via "creations/manifestations" here or there..

I do remember taking responsibility for manifesting this caretaker position, but it wasn't exactly what I was asking for, I wanted a way to live for free...but this will cost me $400 a month, that isn't free. So that threw a wrench into the deal, and that's why i've been struggling to take it because I won't make enough money for my own bills after barely making $400 in a month.

Well, I've heard you say different.. I've heard you say.. "my dad's happiness, is more important than mine"

I have never worded it like that...and I don't even think I meant that if I didn't word it like that. He influences me but so does a lot of things.

That's great rockchick.. but what is "rebelling" really?

It's resistance.. and what is resistance really?

I'm rebelling against what he tells me to do because it's my life, not his! Why should I do things just because he tells me to? I'm not a kid anymore. If I want him to treat me like an adult I have to act like one and do what I want, how I want, and when I want.

It's interesting but your dad sounds more balanced on this issue then you!

Oh he just wants to pound it into my head that I'm not doing the "right" thing. Just because he would live with his parents doesn't mean I should.

Rockchick, if you were really acknowledging that you create reality and that your responsible for what's going on around you.. then you would realize that "moving in with your parents" is a choice.. but you prefer not to.. you validate it.. but you prefer "not to"

I know it's a choice, I don't HAVE to do it...but like I've said many times, it's equal to all the other choices, and it's the only choice where I won't be flat broke. It doesn't have to be permanent either, so at least I'd have that going for me. If I took the caretaker job, I would probably be flat broke all the time and I would also be bound by a 6-month contract.

Your absolutely right rockchick.. this stuff is HOOEY!

I mean I haven't acquired $60k magically.. it just came about

I don't have customers call me up and offer me free money for "no reason" I haven't made $500+ in a day just cause I "magically" requested it of the universe.. ohh no!

I worked hard, toiled in the field all day.. and when I went to school we went in bare feet.. we had no radio or ipod! It was hard work missy!

Rockchick, if this how you feel.. why are you on this forum??

I am on this forum because I believe in all the stuff on here (notice I am not saying it works for me, I know LoA doesn't because I'm doing it wrong) but I still believe in it. I am attracted to this kind of stuff. It just feels right to me. I've always liked "different" things from everybody else. I like metaphysical things. I like things that remind me that this is not all there is. I like things that bring a magic and mystery to life. I like things that are an escape from the usual boring mundane rat race life we are forced to endure. I DID believe I could just wish for money and everything else I want just magically coming to me, and I tried my best to get it, but it didn't happen and then on another forum I posted about it and everyone told me I was crazy and you can't just wish for things, you have to work for them. The thread went on and on and on just like in here only they were all telling me to stop living in a fantasy world and get out there and earn my money. Maybe I'm just at a breaking point or maybe I'm just fed up with not getting what I want but I'm just frustrated and people in here have even told me maybe action will be my law of attraction, maybe instead of struggling with it working correctly maybe I just need to take action and take steps to get what I want the old fashioned way. And since Plan A didn't work, now it's time for Plan B because it's the only thing that's ever worked for me. *deep breath*

Why do you even bother with these self-help books.. after all it's 3 years of a uphill ride??? Maybe, it's time to get off this crazy merry-go-round

That's why I quit buying self help books. The last 2 books I bought were about England, I'm done reading self help stuff.

Sorry, rockchick your excuses or bs isn't gonna work with me!

Not a true statement in there.. from my perspective..

If you really wanted a job..

You wouldn't let your mom's shopping! Or your dad's being in the hospitable! Or the government telling you, you owe $500! Or the fact you don't have a car get in your way!

That's fine if you don't want to believe me, there's nothing I can do to prove you wrong, I can only tell you what I'm doing.

You just wouldn't.. don't tell me lies that you don't take time out every day to be happy as you can be.. whether on the computer or reading a book..

My computer is how I find jobs, how I research for what jobs I want to try, how I expland my knowledge. And books, I thought they could help me better myself, help myself, and they would work if I wasn't lazy and weak. These are not lies, but believe what you want. I've never been a liar and I have no reason to lie. Like I said, this is like my diary, my therapy, this is the place I am most honest.

You don't live every day in a panic.. I know that as fact.. even though multiple times on here.. you've described panic.. that worry's you and DOESN'T! If you believe this rockchick.. then certainly it's true for you.. but at the same time I don't believe you..

How can you know how I spend every day, unless you have a spy camera you can't know. Not a day has gone by that I haven't dreaded getting out of bed, or going on the job sites because it's a lot of wasted time in vain, or typed into the search engine things like "career counselors in Minnesota" or "free online therapy" or "how to live off little money".

I don't believe in your writing to me.. that you were in a super "panic" mode unable to rest or relax.. cause you must have that job! So you don't have to live with your parents!

If you're thinking panic as in running around sweating and tearing out my hair in clumps, that is not what I meant. Every time I try to do something relaxing, I feel like I'm wasting time that I could be trying to fix a problem. So then I think of whatever is most pressing at the moment and type in a search for it. Some days it's social anxiety and some days it's how to find free therapy and some days it's just escape-themed things like visiting England. I mean sometimes I just have to fantasize because dealing with reality for too long will cause me to go insane quicker than I already am.

You've manifested jobs rockchick.. now why haven't they worked out again?

Ohh yah, I know you have a ton of EGO excuses.. poor hours, animal shelter works me to death *cough* bed and breakfast

The TEENAGE shelter didn't work out because the job was only temporary to begin with, and then I was just on call which meant they could go months without calling me, and they did. I can't keep a job that is that sporadic. And the Bed & Breakfast, I'm still there.

A JOB WON'T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS ROCKCHICK!

This is a case where your trying to get a "magic" fix but every time you try to get it.. it doesn't fix ♥♥♥♥♥!

Even if you had this coveted "magic pill" job.. it still wouldn't fix your problems rockchick.. they'd just manifest in NEW ways.. And why don't you believe that?

I don't believe that because every single time I have a problem, it always comes down to money being the reason why the problem exists. I can't go to England because I don't have $1000 for a plane ticket. I can't buy an RV and travel around the country going to concerts because RV's are not cheap (and if they are, they won't make it around the country) and concerts are not cheap and gas is not cheap. A job won't fix EVERY problem, but at least it will take the stress out of my life (minus the stress caused by my dad but a lot of that is because he's so nervous that I'm not working full time). But I have to mention this article I saw in the paper about money buying happiness, I wonder if it's online actually...Oh, wow, it's all over Google. It must have been more popular than just my local paper. Check it out:

Magic Number for Happiness: $75,000 a Year - WSJ.com

Choosing to react to death as bad is a choice if you consciously know that "death is a illusion"

I know death of the body is the only real death there is, death of the soul is not real. But that doesn't mean you can avoid being sad when someone dies, you miss that person.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

I'd say you've been in shock for 500 days.. but then again what you call "shock" I would just call living your life and IGNORING your problems..

How am I ignoring my problems?! I just told you all the things I think about and worry about and analyze and try to figure out! I give up.

Yes, well I see you have a EGO plan in place..

Wait, because I've moved forward from moping depressively to formulating a plan to save myself, that's my EGO? Am I supposed to just sit here and avoid reality and just let whatever happens happen? But that's being passive and letting life happen to me rather than creating it myself! So i'm confused what you think I should do.

You didn't need to talk to other people on other forums about this rockchick..

You could have just talked to your neighbor or your mom and dad.. they would have fed you those "beliefs" too.. there not wrong, rockchick! But these beliefs are limiting.. and more than likely in part why you can't get LOA to work..

I went elsewhere because I didn't want to bother anyone in here again. And I can't talk to my dad about anything, nor would I want to talk to anyone in my real life about my problems. I don't want them to know any of this stuff.

LOL you can't use LOA cause you need a full time job first?

I didn't know the requirements were so stringent.. dammit, why does it work for me, I don't have a full time job.. I don't even have full time business work??

You took this out of context! I wasn't even talking about the LoA. You asked why my spiritual journey isn't working like it is for everyone else and I explained how right now I need to focus on finding a job, I can't focus on my spiritual journey. One thing at a time, you can't multitask with important matters like that. Everyone knows whatever you focus on you become better at, well, I can't focus on things that aren't going to help me in the immediate future.

Rockchick, I know what you’re saying here.. your saying "I've been too stressed to use LOA these 500 days and I can't take even 1 damn minute to use it.. cause I enjoy being stressed!"

Okay, fine have it your way.. have fun with "stressed" This much I do understand rockchick..

But learning about spiritual things doesn't unstress me, it only makes me wish I had more time to practice it, and I didn't have 10,000 thoughts flying around in my head about my money problems and my job and all that crap. If you were going through something stressful, lets just throw this out there from thin air, lets say you were the President and you had a country to run and your country went to war at the same time that your wife got murdered and one of your kids is missing. Now you got all this going on, you have to plan a funeral, deal with her murderer, find your kid, tell your people how to fight this war, would you still be able to take a few hours out of every day to learn Spanish? No, you'd probably say "Later! I have bigger fish to fry right now! Spanish is not going to help me figure out what to do".

I'm just trying to tell you rockchick, the EGO can't make you safe.. and really can't get you a job! That's all with your higher self..

You should know by now I don't see ego the same way you do. When you say "thats your ego", I am left confused because I am only trying to survive and I'm doing only what others would do too in the same situation. You need money, you get money any way you can.

Once again I suggest you step back tell your EGO to calm down.. relax and let a "higher you" take care of these problems.. I'm not telling you to do "nothing"!

I'm telling you to relax.. really have your EGO relax..

But relaxing IS doing nothing! Do you want me to sit and meditate and go for a leisurely stroll and maybe sit under a tree with a fiction novel? How will that help me? I can imagine all it would do is make me more upset that I can't do those things anymore because I'll have to sell my books and I won't be able to meditate at my moms house and on top of that I just wasted a few hours where I could have been searching for a job so that maybe I wouldn't have to move after all!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

I actually once again disagree with your rockchick.. first off I've seen some change in you! (whether you validate or not!)

Oh I see change alright, I'm not denying that, I'm just denying that I'm making progress.

And secondly I can't believe in over 100+ pages to this and other threads.. you weren't helped.. you were helped Somehow, someway..

But I have to really say.. a lot more people were helped then just you.. I know that one for a personal fact..

You might also care to look at this statement above as a "belief" almost.. you see you just stated that no matter what happens, no matter what you say..

Nothing we say here can help you.. And that's true if you believe it's true.. it just makes me wonder why you vent in the first place.. if that's not helping??

I didn't say this isn't helping, I just said that it doesn't help when I take a break from this thread. You were saying you should just stop replying to me and it will help me but it doesn't matter.

If you want to do this.. let me know.. we’ll see what we can accomplish..

Ok sounds good to me.

For the record I lived with my parents 9-10 years after I became a legal adult on purpose/cause I chose too.. not cause I was forced too.. I lived with my dad to help him out..

Well that's why you weren't complaining about it, because you chose to do it. You weren't forced. The only reason I'd choose living at my moms is because my other options would be even less desirable. The lesser of the two evils (or more, as we know, there are always more than a few options! )

Sometimes a little reverse.. helps a change in direction.. take a FORK in the road.. didn't you know that?

Yes, a fork, exactly...and what happens on a fork? It goes up and then it branches into different spokes, and you have to take one of them. You don't slip back down into the handle!

I remind you again rockchick, if you want to stop manifestation.. make sure you feel no RESISTANCE about it.. be NEUTRAL recognize that living with your parents is a valid option.. then you can use the POWER of preference.. Rockchick, I believe and I know you may not..

You're basically saying to make myself want it. Take something I'm against and make myself like it. Could you make yourself like laying on a bed of nails while a 300-pound man lays naked on top of you feeding worms into your mouth while you scream? Forgive the words that come out of my mind right now, i'm 2 hours past my bedtime but you left me like 5 novels to reply to!!

I believe that when you were in "non-physical" before you came here.. you said I'm going to have a fun valid experience, I'm going to do this and this and this.. and I'm going to have a great time..

I don't believe for one second you said!

I'm going to come to earth at 37+ I'm going to give myself a financial/safety/apartment/hate my parents crisis and focus on being PANICY and in LACK and hating myself and DOUBTING my abilities.. and spend all my days focused on this..

I just don't believe you said that/chose that.. k?

I'm glad you said this and not me because I think this proves my point even more. If I am not meant to be going through ths, then it must be wrong, correct? I am not supposed to have to live with my mom again and suffer and focus on lack. I'm supposed to have everything I want and be happy. So, why didn't that happen?

What happened to you rockchick, is what happens to everyone down here on EARTH in the currents of our reality, where there is lack and everyone tells you "you need a job and money to survive" else you'll be eaten by crickets and live on the streets and that's BAD!

Ahh, you answered my question right away! Ok, so you're telling me what I believed for a long time, up until I got so frustrated that it wasn't working and I was seeing my reality crumble to the point where I had to step in and change something because that belief wasn't working for me anymore.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You seem to think you "lack" these things without the excuse of a job.. and with your EGO searching the want ads every day for that perfect fix for it.. (except bet you search them like once every 2 weeks )

Once every 2 weeks?! The longest I've gone was probably 3 days and that was probably when I had plans with different people every day and working too. For the last few weeks it's been every single day. I can't believe you thought I only did it once every 2 weeks! You must really think I don't want a job.

So the answer is no, then???

You’re a victim.. you have no power over reality.. ♥♥♥♥♥ happens to you, not through you!

I didn't say entirely no...I said it's a little bit of everything. The phrase I hear most often is that you can't control what happens to you, just how you react to it. Do you believe that is true?

And how does that feel to be a victim? To have no power as the politicians greedily steal from us and care not about us? How does it feel to have beg for a job from behind the desk of someone else? Rather than know you create reality and you can just COMMAND a job??

Why do you keep asking me how it feels to be a victim. I have said many times of course it doesn't feel good but like the saying goes, you can't control what happens to you. You can't control the weather, you can either run from it or accept it. I think everyone is a victim, honestly. Some people are just stronger to deal with it better.

Wow, awesome rockchick.. you call yourself lazy and that's all you know how to do.. in the next statement you "judge yourself bad"

Well, I can see and feel the effects of me being lazy and let me tell you they aren't good. Being lazy has; given me cellulite which I never had before, given me lots of extra fat rolls in places I never had fat before, made my eyesight noticably worse, made my body physically weaker, made my apartment dirty and cluttered, and made me get so used to sitting on my ass that I don't wanna work anymore. How are any of those things good?

My dad judged that as lazy.. and he hated that! In fact he hated himself!

If he didn't go out to that garage and get drunk! lol he hated himself for sitting on the couch..

What was ironic was.. I thought that was his best qualities on the couch, calm, quiet, relaxed.. but my dad had some sort of belief that was like "hard work is it's own reward!" "I must be working hard or I'm bad!"

And so even though I really liked my dad when he was on that couch watching tv.. he judged himself BAD for doing it!

I give him credit for having a hobby. I'm so lazy I can't even get off the couch to do my hobbies! But I think most people would also call your dad lazy.

[Rockchick26]

I really hope I'm almost done, I'm so tired and i'm 2 hours past my bedtime, how many posts did you make!?!

Originally Posted by themaster

Bull, Rockchick! Last time I checked what you really wanted was to travel..

I want lots of things, travel is only one of them. And I CAN travel if I have MONEY! If you can find me a free plane ticket to England, I will shut up about needing money for travel. And find me a free RV with free gas for life and I'll shut up about that too!

Did you ever think that maybe you pulled down this "facid" this "mirage" of a place to live.. so that you could build your dream of "Traveling" in a camper..??

No...because I won't be able to buy a camper without money! I need a better job to get more money. Job. Money. Need. Hey I have a challenge for you, find me somebody who aquired a lifestyle of traveling without a job or money, see if you can do that

There are some cool stories in the "newspaper" and one of them that is neat is sometimes to hear even when people get millions of dollars winning the lotto.. there problems didn't magically disappear.. some of them who managed to win the lotto.. lost it all!

You keep bringing this up, but we can't prove I would be like them until it happens. So give me a million dollars and that will be the only way I can prove to you that I will be responsible with my money.

Where did all these "negative" beliefs come from, rockchick?

- I can't live my parents, I'll have no privacy!

Well this one came from having already lived at my moms house and having had no privacy. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it must be a duck.

- Living with my parents is taking a step backwards, how embarrassing!

Ask anybody what they would think of a person almost in their 40's sleeping on their parents couch with just a part time job. Do a survey.

- I can't go to the bathroom without other people being asleep, I just can't do it!

Because this happens to me. It's a belief because it's how my body works and I would know! Dr. Oz did a show last week about poop, and he said when the body is nervous or tense or stressed, it can't relax, and even your bowels tighten up. But the minute you relax, what happens, you have to poop. When he said that I wanted to tape it so I could show you, but I couldn't, so you'll just have to believe me!

- I have solution for my problems in life.. "I'm depressed, yes that's it" now that I know I'm depressed I will be better

Huh? I never said this. I just realized I was depressed, I didn't say I have found the answer to my problems, it's basically just another problem!

- I can't meet with strangers they'd be a psycho killer or something.. I can spend 30+ hours talking to them online.. but meet them! Are you crazy or something?? He could chop up cats in his backyard or something.. how should I know??

Talking to someone online is safe, even if you are a cat killer. You cant kill someone through the internet. But I am not saying you are one, of course...and I HAVE met strangers off the internet, I've dated a few guys off the internet. They were not murderers but your chances of meeting one goes up every time. The people that do get murdered by someone they met online, they would be alive now if they were more careful.

Not everyone rockchick! You don't speak for everyone.. you don't speak for people who enjoy a "nomad" lifestyle.. you don't speak for indians that were born on a island in the south pacific! You don't speak for everyone..

But that island IS their home. People who live a nomad lifestyle have a home too, it's their tent or RV or hotel they happen to be staying in. Everyone has to have a place to sleep, and if they want a patch of grass under a tree, then that's fine too. But my point is, if you are given something you don't want, you won't be happy.

I'm saying love of yourself! Transcends material possessions! Love of yourself transcends needing a apartment! Love of yourself transcends I can't live with my parents!

I can love myself and still love having a cellphone so I can call the towtruck when my car breaks down.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Mounds

Hi Rockchick,

I skimmed through some of your posts. Not sure how to put the following lightly, just realize it's meant as a positive message.

Your posts remind me of someone who thinks that scratching a winning lottery ticket will solve all your problems. I also read that your parent's death will be a long awaited payday which will, of course, solve all your problems.
I also get the feeling that your waiting for someone else to swoop in and change your life. Judging by the 85 pages that this thread has become, I don't see that going so well.
So here are my thoughts on what to do. First off, learn to handle what money you do have. Go to the library and read about it. Bring a few pieces of paper and a pen, make notes. Figure it out. If I could inject the information directly into your brain, I would. Unfortunately, I can't though so your gonna have to do it yourself.
Second, find work. Doesn't matter what it is, whether it be a desk job or delivering pizzas. Apply everywhere until you have a job.
Third, take ten minutes every morning to decide what your going to do TODAY to improve your situation. Not when you scratch a winning ticket, not when your parents die, not when the clouds open and God smiles down on you. TODAY.
Fourth and most importantly, do not reply to this post telling me why none of this will work. You have a staggering 85 pages of proof that this strategy does nothing for your situation. Time to take charge.
Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Stop doing the same thing!

-Tim

I am doing what you suggested, it goes against what Themaster says I should do though!

[Rockchick26]

Oh my god there are at least 2 more posts by you (I can't scroll down any more, it's already too overwhelming knowing I am leaving 2 posts unanswered!) I HAVE to get to bed, I was reading this next post and I couldn't even comprehend what you were saying in parts of it. I need sleep. I will answer the rest tomorrow, DONT POST ANY MORE UNTIL I CAN CATCH UP!

*zonk*

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am doing what you suggested, it goes against what Themaster says I should do though!

I didn't read what TM said you should do... did he say not to work!?! Lol

If your problems are literally based in money, that's relatively easy to solve. Easier to deal with:

"I have bad money habits and it's putting strain on other parts of my life"

than:

"My entire life is horrendous and there's nothing I can do".

Maybe it's not 100% about money. Believe me though, that when you get your money under control, it's a lot easier to change other things. I'd focus on one thing as oppose to everything.

-Tim

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am on this forum because I believe in all the stuff on here (notice I am not saying it works for me, I know LoA doesn't because I'm doing it wrong) but I still believe in it.

You understand the only reason why it doesn't work for you "as you say" is your EGO, yes?

One of things we always say in LOA it's always working all the time.. I believe that.. I can understand however, why you don't..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

and then on another forum I posted about it and everyone told me I was crazy and you can't just wish for things, you have to work for them.

Of course another forum would tell you that.. as I said Even your dad, my uncle maybe, mom and all your friends might repeat that same message..

"New age is a new message" that many, many people might be in DENIAL about.. the reason why we allow this on this forum is cause it's founder talks about it all the time

Thinking outside the box is allowed on this forum.. it's not always allowed on any other forum..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Maybe I'm just at a breaking point or maybe I'm just fed up with not getting what I want but I'm just frustrated and people in here have even told me maybe action will be my law of attraction, maybe instead of struggling with it working correctly maybe I just need to take action and take steps to get what I want the old fashioned way. And since Plan A didn't work, now it's time for Plan B because it's the only thing that's ever worked for me. *deep breath*

I'm not arguing against this.. action might do it.. but I'm not sure how you’re going to get into action if you feel like your lazy? have social anxiety? etc.?

(lol I just looking at my last visited number above it was 11:33 I see a lot of number synchronicities lately!) I'm actually only posting cause I was sleeping in my room and a fricking mouse woke me up, bastard! been trying to kill him/scare him out of my room but it's not easy cause I keep my room a "pig-sty"

well, I totally forgot what I want to say.. moving on..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That's why I quit buying self help books. The last 2 books I bought were about England, I'm done reading self help stuff.

Cool, at least your trying something new..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That's fine if you don't want to believe me, there's nothing I can do to prove you wrong, I can only tell you what I'm doing.

I want to be clear rochchick, I believe you!

But I also believe and I think you do too.. if you had not done this thing and if maybe had done this other thing.. you might be in different circumstances.. maybe have that better "dream" job you want.. (whatever that is.. )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

My computer is how I find jobs, how I research for what jobs I want to try, how I expland my knowledge. And books, I thought they could help me better myself, help myself, and they would work if I wasn't lazy and weak. These are not lies, but believe what you want. I've never been a liar and I have no reason to lie. Like I said, this is like my diary, my therapy, this is the place I am most honest.

Rockchick, I'm not calling you a liar! And yet I am.. what I'm saying is.. if you had really wanted a job 100% I think you and I can agree you'd have one by now..

I use a lot of these statements to get a reaction out of you.. Just to keep you talking please understand "I hold you in the highest regard"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

How can you know how I spend every day

You see I cant know.. you just told me..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Not a day has gone by that I haven't dreaded getting out of bed

This is really not good.. in the idea of do you really want to be here?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

How can you know how I spend every day, unless you have a spy camera you can't know. Not a day has gone by that I haven't dreaded getting out of bed, or going on the job sites because it's a lot of wasted time in vain, or typed into the search engine things like "career counselors in Minnesota" or "free online therapy" or "how to live off little money".

Rockchick, when I really read this line above.. it sounds lot like the ACTION journey hasn't been working for..

Perhaps like giving up the "spiritual books" it's time to give the ACTION journey up too.. this is what a lot of my text to you has been about.. has it not?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Every time I try to do something relaxing, I feel like I'm wasting time that I could be trying to fix a problem.

Rockchick, this is your problem right here.. your judging yourself "bad" in essence your saying "I don't like me" every time you do something..

It's my like my father and his couch.. come on give yourself a damn break! Please??? For me??? With cherry's on top??

Don't judge yourself bad ever! I don't care if you spend the next 2 years playing nintendo on the street/your parents.. validate that it's okay to be that way.. and that's not a wrong life! If you would do just that simple act.. you would feel just a little happier everyday.. if you could walk around and say "I'm perfect, everything I do is perfect, nothing I ever do is wrong! EVER!"

BTW the crazy merry-go-round line above.. is from “the hudsucker proxy” movie.. when I first wrote it.. I could not remember which movie it came from.. as I finished your text up I consciously remembered.. it’s a great movie you should have a watch sometime see if you like it?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I mean sometimes I just have to fantasize because dealing with reality for too long will cause me to go insane quicker than I already am.

Don't worry there's nothing wrong with being insane.. You’re on the insane forum, talking to this insane dave/themaster.. no worry's!

I could really care less what other people think.. I mean I care! But I don't care

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The TEENAGE shelter didn't work out because the job was only temporary to begin with, and then I was just on call which meant they could go months without calling me, and they did. I can't keep a job that is that sporadic. And the Bed & Breakfast, I'm still there.

Your just filling the same excuses I already gave you..

You really need to work on appreciating things more it's helpful.. I know it's hard from where you’re at.. but I know you could do it!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I know death of the body is the only real death there is, death of the soul is not real. But that doesn't mean you can avoid being sad when someone dies, you miss that person.

Actually, you can avoid it.. saying anything less is a "statement of limitation" it is that's not possible

I wonder where you get these crazy beliefs..?? not from your friends from that “other” forum..?? they feed you so much garbage

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

How am I ignoring my problems?! I just told you all the things I think about and worry about and analyze and try to figure out! I give up.

Good give up..

Rockchick, as has been a repeated theme in this post to you..

I think if you would fix your spiritual/ego problems.. then the job problem would fall into line..

It's like you and me have the same old argument again and again..

Rochcick: I'm in survival mode.. I don't have time to like myself.. I too busy judging myself bad for researching "England" for 2 minutes

The Master: The spiritual journey fixes everything!

Rockchick: I don't have time for the spiritual journey.. I'm dying on the inside!

The Master: Your in total EGO mode let go

Rockchick: I can't let go, this EGO's got to fix my very pressing problems that are 1 no wait now there 10 months old.. I'm going to live with mother! Ohh god, no!

The Master: Rockchick, fixing you on the INSIDE helps create a better outside

Rockchick: I have no time for fixing the inside.. I need a job, these jobs I've manifested aren't good enough and I'm running out of time.. just as I was running out of time in February

The Master: Perhaps running out of a time is a good thing for you.. perhaps when you crash and burn at your parents you'll find some balance

Rockchick: Balance? I hate my parents.. this is a step backwards, it's awful!

The Master: I'm a cocky a#$%$#%$

(notice I don't mind poking fun at myself sometimes.. )

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wait, because I've moved forward from moping depressively to formulating a plan to save myself, that's my EGO? Am I supposed to just sit here and avoid reality and just let whatever happens happen? But that's being passive and letting life happen to me rather than creating it myself! So i'm confused what you think I should do.

Yes, I know your confused.. I don't blame you.. it's like you have a "hearing" deficiency.. and sometimes only 1% of what I say gets through..

Some of the issues we have talked about before are right here in this thread.. I see them re-occurring.. like I've told you to validate yourself more than once..

Validate when you create, validate yourself for being a good person.. I mean like yourself.. every time you catch yourself.. I just spent 20 minutes read the master.. but goddamit I could spent those 20 minutes on my all-consuming/unending job situation.. instead if you catch yourself giving yourself flack! Consciously right then and there.. validate that's not true.. you’re a good person And only you need to know it.. not me.. (pretty damn teary for some reason.. either talking to you or listening to the soundtrack to "the hudsucker proxy")

You ever wonder why I make my weird notes.. saying I was emotional here.. etc. do you know what that is rockchick?

That's validation.. that's validation of yourself and how your feeling EVEN if you can't figure out how your feeling.. your validating yourself.. it feeling good and nice to validate you

To own who you are!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I went elsewhere because I didn't want to bother anyone in here again. And I can't talk to my dad about anything, nor would I want to talk to anyone in my real life about my problems. I don't want them to know any of this stuff.

You can always talk to me privately.. as I'm usually available (nothing better to do! )

I wouldn't be ashamed to hide it away.. just sharing this info about YOU with them.. would eventually make your life/journey easier.. hiding as you are.. doesn't help you..

Many of us HIDE cause were afraid.. of what others think, of pain in the past.. being slapped, hit or told were wrong!

That's why we hide! That's why I hide.. that's why you hide.. (also I like hiding or don't mind it in that.. I'm still building a stability platform of I'm untouchable.. I'm safe all the time.. it's being built it's already very solid now.. but could always use a little more work.. yah know? )

You must also understand that in this statement.. you have just shown you “care what others think”

That’s not big surprise the way you responded in this thread.. but where I’m trying to help you get too.. is a place where you “don’t care” it’s not a easy path to build.. there is a lot of negative/this is wrong behavior in us.. but it possible to build that path..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You took this out of context! I wasn't even talking about the LoA.

No, I didn't.. LOA is the spiritual journey.. it is seeing you have power and control and effect on a "chaotic world" otherwise..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You asked why my spiritual journey isn't working like it is for everyone else and I explained how right now I need to focus on finding a job, I can't focus on my spiritual journey.

It's not can't.. it's won't!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

One thing at a time, you can't multitask with important matters like that.

Ohh yes, you can.. this is a crock of ♥♥♥♥♥

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Everyone knows whatever you focus on you become better at, well, I can't focus on things that aren't going to help me in the immediate future.

How's that focusing on the job going?? Ohh.. right.. not done yet..

Notice how it's almost a BELIEF here.. that LOA/spiritual journey can do nothing for you now or ever!

I mean it's why I say again.. why bother?

Your stating here in plain text.. the spiritual/loa journey is useless and doesn't work! (this comes from reading all the books and then saying it doesn't work)

And then I ask again, again.. why bother? (4th or 5th time I've actually asked this question.. )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But learning about spiritual things doesn't unstress me, it only makes me wish I had more time to practice it

So f#cking make time..!!!

Come on! I've said this also to you before.. practice in the bathroom, practice when it doesn't count, practice when you’re walking/biking/driving to work..?? Practice when you just WISH you could practice!!

The only reason you don't have time for it.. is cause of your EGO that all dominating thing in your brain running in IMBALANCE.. keeping you in IMBALANCE... really say to your EGO.. I need some damn, balance please!

Give me a break/a little help with the spiritual journey please?

If you'd do this.. you'd find that you would get help..

It's the EGO that told you.. "you have no time for spiritual nonsense!"

I mean where else did that voice come from!!!

Sometimes the EGO is also afraid to change.. and to let go of it's all dominating control on your life..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

If you were going through something stressful, lets just throw this out there from thin air, lets say you were the President and you had a country to run and your country went to war at the same time that your wife got murdered and one of your kids is missing. Now you got all this going on, you have to plan a funeral, deal with her murderer, tell your people how to fight this war, would you still be able to take a few hours out of every day to learn Spanish? No, you'd probably say "Later! I have bigger fish to fry right now! Spanish is not going to help me figure out what to do".

lol.. I like your grandiose scenario rockchick..

Honestly, if I were the president.. I'd take a conscious breath.. sit back chill.. I wouldn't let "circumstances" effect me..

A good leader doesn't fly off the handle.. he's relaxed, confident, agile, swimming in the see of chaos.. cause that's his job!

You see we are talking about a "philosophy" here.. a mindset.. of pure clarity and ease.. and not letting the outside circumstances/world effect you..

And every time I say to you rockchick "don't let the outside effect you!" "you say but the outside is my problem!" and I say no.. the "the inside" is your problem.. building that wall that says "the outside is not important" is your problem!

If someone said to me.. yah know "spanish" is going to provide you better clarity of thought in these tough decisions.. if you make a WISE investment of your time it will pay off 1000x +??

Would you say no to that investment..?? would any logical/sane person say NO??

This is what I've said to you rockchick, the spiritual journey will pay 1,000,000 a million times the reward you invest.. you will feel happier, be at ease and consciously control and manifest your reality..

All it takes is practice, intent and time.. (nothing of which you seem to want to invest!)

Barrack Obama, your wife’s dead and you need to plan her funeral and ohh were at war.. also.. we have a investment of your time.. it's called "spanish" this spanish course will pay a million times back it's reward/investment of your time over the long term.. what do you want to do?

Barrak Obama: Have my people deal with the funeral or it can wait! Were at war.. let that take car of itself.. it doesn't need me.. schedule only the absolutely important meetings.. this investment in myself sounds interesting.. a million times the reward??

That's a really good investment.. I surely could use the ability to feel sure of myself, capable, certain, commanding, loving, presence, knowingness.. I really could use all that..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You should know by now I don't see ego the same way you do. When you say "thats your ego", I am left confused because I am only trying to survive and I'm doing only what others would do too in the same situation. You need money, you get money any way you can.

Keyword here "survive" that's your EGO.. if you’re in survival mode even 1/10th you’re in a EGO mode..

Your EGO as is mine is active as you write/read this.. it's there inside maybe even pulling up the words you write in a collective internal process It's there it always is.. I'm not telling you to call it bad.. I'm asking you to look at/observe yourself for your behaviors

The fear behavior.. observe it.. the "I can't do this" observe it.. the "I'm afraid to go to the bathroom around others" observe it!

Take a step back! Reach for a higher place and perspective.. if you would choose to observe yourself like a scientist.. you'd find a lot out about yourself! (emotional self, says "hello")

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But relaxing IS doing nothing!

Yes, I know.. and the EGO hates that doesn't it??

You got to get out there and distribute flyers and save the world.. I mean get a job.. no time for dilly dallying..

I mean listen to yourself rockchick.. really listen

Rockchick: Relaxing is doing nothing!

Do you think people get more work done when there calm centered feel good?

Or when they throw their hands in the air run around in panic mode.. "like" a chicken with its head cut off?

Why do you justify your ego's behavior..

10 to 1 rockchick, we can find a 100,000 study's on this big old internet that say.. a relaxed person is 10 times more effective than the "cut off head chicken person"

10 to 1 we can find a 100,000 study's that say a confident/optimist person, who likes themselves is far more likely to get a job then a neurotic shut in person that complains about their life.. rather than someone who chooses to see the cup half full

Why do you allow this behavior?

Why do you choose it?

There is hard cold scientific evidence that relaxed, calm, people who like themselves even love themselves.. excel at everything they do..

These study's don't say.. cut off your head! Wave your arms all around.. that's the best way to find a job!

Rockchick, the EGO you present here a lot of the time is the "cut off head" variety.. you are constantly condemning yourself for your own behaviors?

How can you ever get ahead in that environment??

It's like you’re working at a office all right? And your boss says..

"Write me the perfect report on this" and you go

Rockchick: Yes, sir!

And you go back into your office and write that perfect report.. and you re-read it/analysis it.. realize that part isn't perfect! And that part isn't perfect! And that part isn't perfect!

And before you know it.. all you can do is RE-READ that report making it more and more perfect.. to infinity!!!!

When if you just let go.. say this is the best it is.. I am the best I can be.. I'm certainly not a bad person! I'll just turn it in as is.. it is a perfect as it can be for this moment and time..

What I'm really trying to say.. is your EGO behavior is a lot like the re-read.. and in it is a lot of self-criticism.. a not liking yourself..

From my personal opinion rockchick.. you really don't like you! A lot!

Even just taking a step every day to look in the mirror and say.. I like me.. would be a great step.. for you and your spiritual journey

I mean you've already said.. you don't like being here?

Rockchick: I force myself out of bed every day!

There's no love or joy in this statement.. do you see that?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Do you want me to sit and meditate and go for a leisurely stroll and maybe sit under a tree with a fiction novel? How will that help me? I can imagine all it would do is make me more upset that I can't do those things anymore because I'll have to sell my books and I won't be able to meditate at my moms house and on top of that I just wasted a few hours where I could have been searching for a job so that maybe I wouldn't have to move after all!

My point verbatim!

You can't get that job until you relax.. you just can't..

Life is about feeling good! It's not about.. I can't possibly sit under a tree and takes some time for me..

You have demonstrated very well my teachers information about EGO and safety very well, rockchick thanks..!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm just denying that I'm making progress.

And that mentality.. is not helping you.. we've talked about this..

Validate, validate, validate Even if you feel it's a lie.. until it becomes truth

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I didn't say this isn't helping, I just said that it doesn't help when I take a break from this thread. You were saying you should just stop replying to me and it will help me but it doesn't matter.

I think the best helping of you is in the doing with you.. that's in person stuff.. or energy/healing work..

I think in the end after all this text.. the ideas just need to be almost be "beamed" into your skull.. forget talking with your EGO

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Ok sounds good to me.

Excellent, I'll ask on your behalf shortly..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes, a fork, exactly...and what happens on a fork? It goes up and then it branches into different spokes, and you have to take one of them. You don't slip back down into the handle!

Sometimes you have to slip back down the handle! Cause you took the wrong fork in the road.. turns out this road was overgrown with weeds and made of dirt and every second you drove down it.. you felt more afraid and unhappy and uncertain

Do you see in this situtation why reverse or slipping down the handle might be a good thing?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You're basically saying to make myself want it. Take something I'm against and make myself like it. Could you make yourself like laying on a bed of nails while a 300-pound man lays naked on top of you feeding worms into your mouth while you scream? Forgive the words that come out of my mind right now, i'm 2 hours past my bedtime but you left me like 5 novels to reply to!!

I never said want it! I said neutralize it..

Make it a valid option like this.. in any moment.. I could

- clip my nails
- watch tv
- live with my parents

You see if you neutralize it.. then you’re not creating it.. resistance is felt by a negative feeling..

I get the feeling every time you say "I would never live with my parents!" you feel NEGATIVE when you say it.. that's creation.. when you feel that polarity!

If you want to live with your parents faster by law of attraction.. just say that statement 50 times a day.. you'll be out of your apartment before the end of the month I'll bet!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm glad you said this and not me because I think this proves my point even more. If I am not meant to be going through ths, then it must be wrong, correct?

No, it's not..

There is no wrong! That's what I believe and is the truth.. it may not be what you believe.. however..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am not supposed to have to live with my mom again and suffer and focus on lack. I'm supposed to have everything I want and be happy. So, why didn't that happen?

Because you haven't fixed you!

All this ego.. all this lack you see in your life.. all.. the "I don't like me" you have for yourself..

Rockchick, we knew it was a "challenge" when we came down here.. and surprisingly we said "YES" we want this challenge.. we want to deal with it! Beat it! Conquer it! Get past it! (my emotional self is active again.. )

And like everyone who had ambitions when you got there.. they got swept up by the game.. imagine it like this (this is from bashar)

A long time ago in a galaxy far-far away!

You were at the surface of the ocean and it was bright and shiny up there and beautiful and someone said.. "hey want to play a game?"

And you said "yah, sounds like fun!"

Here they said.. strap these weights to your body.. you’re going way down there.. it's going to be difficult but very rewarding!

Awesome! you said..

And then you fell to the very bottom of the deepest blackest part of the ocean it was dark and so dank and so far down from the gleaming sun.. that you couldn't see anything!

It was pitch black!

And these weights you didn't even recognize they were on you anymore.. you just couldn't feel it anymore..

But you looked up and saw the light.. and swam a little towards it.. and then you swam a little more.. and a little more.. and now you can see the hand in front of your face!

When you are consciously aware of "I don't like me" that weight on your body falls off just a little more and now you can go a little higher into the light rockchick!

All we've ever been doing for you here.. is trying to get you into more of that light.. where it's happy, and it's fun and you go "what lack?" that weight fell of years ago! <laughingly/joyously you say!>

Hope this helps..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Ahh, you answered my question right away! Ok, so you're telling me what I believed for a long time, up until I got so frustrated that it wasn't working and I was seeing my reality crumble to the point where I had to step in and change something because that belief wasn't working for me anymore.

Yep, you about have it.. I also wrote you a 2nd answer (much better above)

Notice the correlation between the word "currents" I used last time and the answer above.. yep that was on purpose!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Once every 2 weeks?! The longest I've gone was probably 3 days and that was probably when I had plans with different people every day and working too. For the last few weeks it's been every single day. I can't believe you thought I only did it once every 2 weeks! You must really think I don't want a job.

Just taking a guess.. how do I know till you tell me?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I didn't say entirely no...I said it's a little bit of everything. The phrase I hear most often is that you can't control what happens to you, just how you react to it. Do you believe that is true?

Yes, I do..

I often say it as you can choose how you feel.. you can reach for the best feeling thought (little abraham)

However, I've always got the impression you don't believe this.. maybe you should make sure you really believe this?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

but like the saying goes, you can't control what happens to you. You can't control the weather

I don't agree.. this is what the spiritual/law of attraction journey is all about..

In a way this is true.. but it is also not true!

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well, I can see and feel the effects of me being lazy and let me tell you they aren't good. Being lazy has; given me cellulite which I never had before, given me lots of extra fat rolls in places I never had fat before, made my eyesight noticably worse, made my body physically weaker, made my apartment dirty and cluttered, and made me get so used to sitting on my ass that I don't wanna work anymore. How are any of those things good?

There all good things.. if you'd stop judging them bad or lack based..

Understand that each complaint you have about you.. is you saying

"I don't like me"

How much do you really hate yourself rockchick?

I mean really??

Do you loathe yourself?

How deep does that hate/loathing go?

You might has well look in the mirror and go.. I'm the most lazy, disgusting person I've ever known.. I can't believe I am me!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I want lots of things, travel is only one of them. And I CAN travel if I have MONEY! If you can find me a free plane ticket to England, I will shut up about needing money for travel. And find me a free RV with free gas for live and I'll shut up about that too!

You don't need to shut up rockchick!

I enjoy you being you..

I think if we found you "a free plane ticket to england" that wouldn't fix it!

I think if we found you a "RV with free unlimited gas" that wouldn't fix it!

We have to turn that "lack is everywhere" based mentality around to a mentality of abundance.. and I'm capable and I love myself

That's all I'm trying to do with you.. would you care to take a spin on the "I love myself" wheel?

You’re a difficult person rockchick.. but I believe we can FIND the KEY to your lock!

I wouldn't be talking with you if I didn't.. (emotional self is out yet again!

I think it's time we consider you talking in a new thread too.. you must understand.. that the threads title is bad "nothing works for me!"

It is a intention.. and says "nothing works for you!"

In fact why don't you start a new thread rockchick.. we let this one die.. give it a name like "everything works for me!" or something positive..

(when I wrote that for you.. I was just joking.. being playful) but I really think if you started a thread such as..

"how I changed my life"
"my intention to be a better me"
"rockchick's how to make your life better guide!"

Then we would be putting together something better..

Imagine for a second that you created that thread.. ???

That intention would carry over.. because you posted something so positive.. that energy would work.. we would see it created!

Please rockchick! start a new thread.. (take a step!) and apply all future posts past this one.. in there.. (link to old thread for reference.. or I can do it.. if you’re not able.. )

Please! start a new thread rockchick! Set the energy for your new life..

How about "rockchicks: my happy life"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

No...because I won't be able to buy a camper without money! I need a better job to get more money. Job. Money. Need. Hey I have a challenge for you, find me somebody who aquired a lifestyle of traveling without a job or money, see if you can do that

That's actually kind of easy.. do you know there's a thread somewhere on this forum..

Of someone being voluntarily homeless?

Do you know there's blogs out there.. where people had job or didn't but travelled and made money?

traveling with no money - Google Search

Google finds much information.. in one second.. I don't see how you can't see the possibilities..?? it's there's rockchick, if you can dream it you can do it! It's real!

However, again we need to fix that "lack" mindset of yours.. if you hop on google all you’re going to see is your EGO saying each of these ideas is not feasible.. would never work for you!

So stop yourself! And say.. EGO we need to work on my "lack" perspective.. we need to learn to connect with other parts of our self that can do the WORK of setting up the life.. we'd like to lead!

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Ask anybody what they would think of a person almost in their 40's sleeping on their parents couch with just a part time job. Do a survey.

I'm pretty sure a forum member "aaronb" is doing this right now.. I'm pretty sure there are stories out there that talk just about this.. and then rising up to be a multi-millionaire (it happens!) obviously not to you! but it does

ALG you there..? any references??? (I could pm him? if you want to know)

Most stories like this would be books.. I think ALG's summary of Madonna’s book is quite good.. she just went to new york one day I believe from Minnesota.. no money, no plan.. just went there and started her career! By manifesting it..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Because this happens to me. It's a belief because it's how my body works and I would know! Dr. Oz did a show last week about poop, and he said when the body is nervous or tense or stressed, it can't relax, and even your bowels tighten up. But the minute you relax, what happens, you have to poop. When he said that I wanted to tape it so I could show you, but I couldn't, so you'll just have to believe me!

I believe you.. I'm sure what you say is right..

But what does that say about you?

Sounds like another "theme" in this thread.. about your EGO always unrelaxed.. always in alert mode! Looking for omg predators..

Relax! Easy boy.. good doggie!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I can love myself and still love having a cellphone so I can call the towtruck when my car breaks down.

Yes, you can..

But can you love yourself without that "cellphone"?

Different question isn't it..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Oh my god there are at least 2 more posts by you (I can't scroll down any more, it's already too overwhelming knowing I am leaving 2 posts unanswered!) I HAVE to get to bed, I was reading this next post and I couldn't even comprehend what you were saying in parts of it. I need sleep. I will answer the rest tomorrow, DONT POST ANY MORE UNTIL I CAN CATCH UP!

*zonk*

Sorry! I did

Blame that damn mouse..

Originally Posted by Mounds

I didn't read what TM said you should do... did he say not to work!?! Lol

If your problems are literally based in money, that's relatively easy to solve. Easier to deal with:

"I have bad money habits and it's putting strain on other parts of my life"

than:

"My entire life is horrendous and there's nothing I can do".

Maybe it's not 100% about money. Believe me though, that when you get your money under control, it's a lot easier to change other things. I'd focus on one thing as oppose to everything.

-Tim

Actually, I quite like your suggestion..

Rockchick has a job that doesn't support her lifestyle.. (I believe) now she wants a job that will support it!

But maybe she should just lower her lifestyle and expenses.. rather than rent a apartment.. she should rent a room in a shared house for $300-400 a month..

Well, I dunno rockchick..?? but here's some ideas for you..

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by themaster

Actually, I quite like your suggestion..

Rockchick has a job that doesn't support her lifestyle.. (I believe) now she wants a job that will support it!

But maybe she should just lower her lifestyle and expenses.. rather than rent a apartment.. she should rent a room in a shared house for $300-400 a month..

Ah, so RC does have a job! Now you have a repeatable, low-risk, scalable source of income Time to milk it for all it's worth and use it as a springboard to the next opportunity.
Like TM says, time to lower your lifestyle and expenses. Check out the Business subforum for lots of tips.

-Tim

[Rockchick26]

I'm back and I see I'm even more behind than I thought, oh this day is going to be real productive Well at least I set up a payment plan to pay back the $500 I owe the government, even though it will make it so I can't pay one of my bills.

Originally Posted by themaster

But what if I said this..?

You are creator god so powerful and so strong.. you put yourself in a "limitation physical reality experience" where you could experience the "illusion" that could not instantly manifest! Where you could complain about "lack of money" and bad parents! Where you could experience the inability to travel to "england" or create a boyfriend or a perfect body!

Well guess what rockchick..?? the "illusion" is wearing thin.. perhaps within your lifetime and probably definitely mine! The illusion will be so thin that you can travel to england, create that boyfriend, play with your body.. whatever.. Ironically, this is a perfectly valid way to help people..

What would be the benefit in creating a reality like that? That would suck!

Yah, you've said that before.. you ever notice that you say it as a "victim"

Your trying to get people to "judge" your dad as a awful person.. I actually don't share that opionon.. doesn't matter if he beat you, raped you, never said "I love you" your dad is actually a great person.. he may be "negative" here on this time space reality.. but were all great people inside!

Well I don't think I can be that understanding, to me that's like forgiving a murderer for killing your child just because he's had a rough life and didn't know any better. It's one thing to say this to someone else but it's another thing to be going through it, seeing this person upsetting everyone around them. And I do mean everyone, even his girlfriend. My brother doesnt even hardly talk to him anymore.

I say again your dad is dying.. say your goodbyes.. more than likely he can't make the shift.. you still can!

You're being contradictory here...you said he's a great person inside but then why is it ok that he dies because he can't make the shift? Aren't we all great people inside who deserve to make the shift? Does that mean people who are negative and cant change, their souls will be left behind or something? I'm not exactly understanding this whole shift thing, it seems to me it's segregating people.

I remember how we were talking about before (I believe) telling your EGO you love it etc. but I haven't seen that side of you at all in these conversations.. it's like you FORGOT about all of that..

Well I have a different idea of what the Ego is, that's why it's so confusing for me. I've always believed the ego was what made you feel like you were special, like when you get things or people tell you that you are awesome, it helps your ego. I just can't associate ego with things like needing a cellphone or the internet, to me they just don't match up.

Some people have worked at a "peanut factory" and lost their peanut allergy..

Some people have hated clowns all there life and worked at a circus.. and now they love clowns!

Some people hated spiders and then they went into a scientific study of spiders and learned to love them!

Well why did I work at the shelter for 7 months and still have panic attacks when talking to people?

I suppose youre going to say I didn't give it enough time. Well when you have a phobia/anxiety problem, even 8 hours is torture. I don't know how I lasted 7 months, I almost walked out on my first night.

Everything I said is true rockchick.. why do you always see the negative?? The lack??? The that's not possible..!!

I see possible everywhere..

All I can guess is that it's inherited (grandpa had a nervous breakdown, dad's always been nervous, needed therapy), or it's just my nature, some people are more nervous than others. I don't know how it started but I remember being like this when I was younger than 5 years old. And how would a little kid like that know how to purposely make themselves like this? It just seems like it's built in, it's the way God made me. But I have noticed if it's somebody else complaining, I can always find the bright side for them. So I think if something is happening to you and you don't like it, of course you will find the negative in it, it's just natural, if you don't like something you will know because you'll just feel it. It would be like walking outside in the winter without a jacket, you feel the cold and you don't like it and you can't find the bright side because it's so blatantly obvious that it's cold and it takes over your senses and you can't focus on anything else because you're so cold!

Maybe you should be like.. I'm too old and crotchety to work with them dang "new" fangled computers! I walked to school in my bare feet 5 miles every day at 30 below you dang whipper snappers! That sounds like fun! That sounds better.. I really think you could learn a lot from this kid!

It sounds like you're trying to tell me I can learn how to act young again, from him? I don't know any adults who can keep up with a little kid, my mom says the same things to him, she can't even sit on the floor and play with him. But I think I act young enough, in fact some people say I act too young, because it keeps me from being a true adult. So some days I feel like a teenager and some days I feel like I'm 80, it all depends I guess.

He doesn't wake up every day wanting to be "mopey" he wakes up every day excited..

I think he's confused why you wake up every day.. "mopey"

I think he's confused why you wake up every day.. "not up to to be around other people at the moment"

Because he's a kid! It isn't just him, all kids don't understand adults.

Rockchick, it may be right now.. it may not be me! But we might get someone giving you some regular visits every week..

All you have to say is "let's try it"

And I'll see what can be done.. by asking my "family" (the other one that's not here! ) to see what we can do.. to empower and uplift you..

OK "lets try it"

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Since I know your reading rockchick, I will also say again.. it's never too late to turn the "boat" around.. you can still avoid a "collision" (possibly) you have certainly done a admirable job manifesting the 2 jobs you have done.. but haven't corrected the "problems" in you.. or that miraculous 3rd job would be here already if you had.. that's my opinion.. of course it doesn't count

I feel like I have too many problems to fix, that I feel overwhelmed. I feel that some of them are due to exterior circumstances, and even if I were to focus on one at a time, it would probably take many years just to fix one thing, since they're all so deeply rooted. If you go back and read all my threads I've ever started on this board, I probably still have more of them problems still today, and I bet there were probably 20 of them. Where do you even begin? Some affect others and some I can't fix because of others and some by fixing them will create even more, aaaghghgh it's just a neverending cycle of problems!

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I feel like I have too many problems to fix, that I feel overwhelmed. I feel that some of them are due to exterior circumstances, and even if I were to focus on one at a time, it would probably take many years just to fix one thing, since they're all so deeply rooted. If you go back and read all my threads I've ever started on this board, I probably still have more of them problems still today, and I bet there were probably 20 of them. Where do you even begin? Some affect others and some I can't fix because of others and some by fixing them will create even more, aaaghghgh it's just a neverending cycle of problems!

Hey I'm 34 and sleep at my parents house at the moment. (I heard my name mentioned.) I've often experienced a sense of overwhelm while doing common everyday tasks. The feeling would be of needing a break and this feeling would show up before I even get started. This started when I was about 6 years old and gradually intensified over time until the thought of doing almost anything started feeling very stressful. I haven't worked for 2 years since this constant sense of fighting myself through everything made working any job feel almost impossible.

Today I'm finally starting to see how this pattern works. It's amazing to me that I can feel overwhelmed whether I'm fully energized or not. It's a feeling I can conjure up at any moment when anything gives me the slightest excuse to see myself as being pressured. I just about have this pattern unraveled. I hope to be clear of it by the end of the day. If not by the end of the day it will at least be resolved by Thursday at the latest. Imagine being able to take on any activity and not ever feeling overwhelmed ever again? I'll be there shortly and let you know how it all turns out.