Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I haven't been up at 10 am in years!

It takes me 10 minutes just to get ready for my walks! I wouldn't go through all that effort and willpower just for 10 minutes. I

My doctor (and every bottle of sunscreen) says UVB radiation causes skin cancer, and I can't help but take it seriously since I've already had 2 moles removed becuase they thought they were cancerous. So I'm really not in a position to believe sunlight is good enough for you to take that risk.

I'm not going to get all sweaty again and have to take another shower and fix my hair all over again, that takes time.

I know my ways might sound kinda anal to some people but it's the only way I can do things without causing more problems.

For crying out loud, you can't just set your alarm for 9.50 in the morning, get up and take a 10 minute walk? Nobody cares about your hair, getting up at 9.50 is not going to kill you, and nor is 10 minutes of morning sun a day. Can you even hear how ridiculous your excuses are?

Why are you so resistant to change? I mean, you understand that in order to change your life, you have to actually change your life, right?

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Can you even hear how ridiculous your excuses are?

I don't think she can. I mean, seriously, I don't think she can.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

I don't think she can. I mean, seriously, I don't think she can.

Ohh, this is ironic.. this is what Angela said about me

When literally every area of your life sucks, where do you start!?

You guys are helping by talking to her.. but I think the best help is to make her "spiritually" workout.. hence the idea I had while talking with her..

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Oh I have never gone outside for the sunlight, I put on sunscreen and wear a hat and sunglasses and preferrably pants and a long sleeve shirt (it's usually too cold not to, anyway) so I'm really not getting sun anyway. I have really pale skin with lots of moles and I already had to have 2 of them removed and my doctor told me to avoid the sun, and I thought that works out great since I am a night person anyway.

And yet, you're talking about working on a farm, which would be all outside, much of it during the hottest part of the day. A 10 minute walk is too much, but you want to work, do physical labor, outside, for 8 hours. Makes total sense.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by carenkh

And yet, you're talking about working on a farm, which would be all outside, much of it during the hottest part of the day. A 10 minute walk is too much, but you want to work, do physical labor, outside, for 8 hours. Makes total sense.

Carenkh, you might not have realised it, but you just gave her one more reason why she cannot work on an organic farm.

I'll give her a few more:

(1) While working on a farm, you might sweat and after that, you'll actually have to shower

(2) While working on a farm, your hair might become untidy, and it would take time to fix it up

(3) Rockchick can't work on a farm, because she's a nightowl, and the farm will expect people to work in the daytime

(4) Rockchick is not able to enjoy nature and put herself into a peaceful state of mind, when there's loud manmade noise & other people around her. On the farm, there's going to be loud manmade noise and other people around her.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But I thought nothing is a pipe dream, its all possible?

Hate to break it to you, but the way I see it, it's all really just a pipe dream for you, frankly. It's just not possible.

Taking a walk in the sun is a very small, simple thing. If you can come up with no less than eight or nine reasons NOT to do it, then you cannot honestly expect to improve your live in any significant way.

How could it be possible?? You tell us ... What positive change could you actually make in your life, starting today or tomorrow, for which you do not have multiple arguments why it isn't really workable?

Go on, make a list. What COULD you possibly do?

[ellie]

I personally think this is a breakthrough. I mean I didn't realise how rife with fear rockchick really was. I knew she had excuses, but I think her fear is far more advanced than I realised. I think this sounds like a literal phobia about anything and everything. It' sounds more down the line of obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't think comments are going to make much of a difference at this stage. I think it would probably be better to seek professional help, maybe from a cognitive therapist or phycologist, once you have talked it through with someone face-to-face maybe then you can seek further support here?

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by ellie

I think it would probably be better to seek professional help, maybe from a cognitive therapist or phycologist

Not possible. Most of the previous reasons given for not seeing a doctor also apply here.

1. She doesn't have health insurance

2. She is unemployed and doesn't have money to pay for the professional help

3. She would rather change her diet (however, for several other reasons given elsewhere, she's not actually able to change her diet)

[themaster]

Originally Posted by ellie

I personally think this is a breakthrough. I mean I didn't realise how rife with fear rockchick really was. I knew she had excuses, but I think her fear is far more advanced than I realised. I think this sounds like a literal phobia about anything and everything. It' sounds more down the line of obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't think comments are going to make much of a difference at this stage. I think it would probably be better to seek professional help, maybe from a cognitive therapist or phycologist, once you have talked it through with someone face-to-face maybe then you can seek further support here?

I don't like the turn/tone of this thread.. and where's it's going...

You need to stop before you make it super negative.. this just won't help!

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Not possible. Most of the previous reasons given for not seeing a doctor also apply here.

1. She doesn't have health insurance

2. She is unemployed and doesn't have money to pay for the professional help

3. She would rather change her diet (however, for several other reasons given elsewhere, she's not actually able to change her diet)

4. She doesn't need a doctor

[ellie]

Originally Posted by themaster

I don't like the turn/tone of this thread.. and where's it's going...

You need to stop before you make it super negative.. this just won't help!

What's negative about seeking extra help? It's sort of clear that rockchick has a phobia about a lot of things. A trained proffesional can help more effectivly. Even alternative help is fine, like NLP or something like that.

That's unusual for you to not like a tone of a thread master, you're always pointing out what your opinion is on topics and how one should handle things. Is that fact that I am asking her to seek professional advice that you don't like?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by ellie

What's negative about seeking extra help? It's sort of clear that rockchick has a phobia about a lot of things. A trained proffesional can help more effectivly. Even alternative help is fine, like NLP or something like that.

That's unusual for you to not like a tone of a thread master, you're always pointing out what your opinion is on topics and how one should handle things.

Indeed it is usual.. your comments read negative.. and then they read neutral.. they read a bit of both.. in part it sounds like between you and ALG your judging rockchick as "bad" "unwarranted" and un-helpable by us or anyone..

The goal of this forum is to help.. and yet your almost saying.. "rockchick is beyond help"

[ellie]

Originally Posted by themaster

Indeed it is usual.. your comments read negative.. and then they read neutral.. they read a bit of both.. in part it sounds like between you and ALG your judging rockchick as "bad" "unwarranted" and un-helpable by us or anyone..

The goal of this forum is to help.. and yet your almost saying.. "rockchick is beyond help"

Not at all. What I meant was, that get some one-on-one help face-to-face, to get the ball rolling. It's what I did. Then once I got the ball rolling with change, I came here for extra help. I had many phobias not too dissimilar to rockchick.

When you have someone in front of you telling you what's happening and giving you little exercises it helps get the ball rolling.

It's interesting that you find my comments negative.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by ellie

It's interesting that you find my comments negative.

Yes, I slightly do.. (you and ALG's) make a note of something..

I'm not trying to play into judgment games.. but isn't the goal to help people..?

First what rockchick has said about this

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Hello! Thank you for thinking of me, that was nice!! I've been trying to avoid this forum because I almost got banned last time I posted and people here think all my posts are pity parties so I just figured I better stay away. I've been trying to sort out my life in other ways now but honestly nothing helped as much as this place did. But I am afraid to post again with my problems, I'm pretty sure most people haven't missed me. (Glad you did, though!)

Sorry this is so long, I get long-winded especially when I haven't had a good way to vent-I am afraid to post online anywhere for fear of ending up in arguments with people. So, I guess to sum it up, nothing much has changed!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That's pretty much what I've done since Day 1 in here, and all I got was frustrated replies and people telling me i'm throwing a pity party. But you have my permission to show people my list, go right ahead, I just know someone is going to say something like, "If you tried all that and nothing is working, the problem is YOU". I already know it is, but I can't stop believing that there is a magic overnight cure for me out there somewhere.

Excellent work by the way.. on getting to a diagnosis she's already made of herself

Yes, that is a judgment.. but I'm releasing it.. I do feel a bit protective of rockchick's success.. since I promised to help (but even that promise is a limitation.. I can only do what I choose to do no more, no less)

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

No problem, you can move it, copy and paste anything I said in here, I don't care! I probably would have wanted to do that anyway, I am just trying to avoid the big mess like what happened last time.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Ok sounds good, start them up!

Now read in succession what I just read.. and put yourself in rockchick's place.. that your reading this and your her

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

I don't think she can. I mean, seriously, I don't think she can.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Hate to break it to you, but the way I see it, it's all really just a pipe dream for you, frankly. It's just not possible.

Taking a walk in the sun is a very small, simple thing.

Originally Posted by ellie

I personally think this is a breakthrough. I mean I didn't realise how rife with fear rockchick really was. I knew she had excuses, but I think her fear is far more advanced than I realised.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Not possible. Most of the previous reasons given for not seeing a doctor also apply here.

Now being a pretend rockchick?? How did just reading these statements or as I did skimming them make you feel?

[bluelighth]

I have to agree with themaster as to how those replies are very limiting. Then again, I can also understand those replies don't mean "its impossible", rather "its impossible, if rockchick doesn't change her state-of-mind/vibe/mental habits".

I think what ALG and ellie point out is basically that her current thought patterns are very limiting, and she can't do anything with them. She'll just find new excuses. She needs to stop having excuses and start trying things even if she has 10,000 excuses not to. She needs to start thinking about the things she wants, not the excuses on why she can't/won't do them.

Thats my input, at least...

One question to rockchick - could you post a list of those 20 intrests you said you had a few pages back? or the current intrests? just curious...

Cheers!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

That you don't want to go through the trouble for just a 10 minute walk is just and excuse. What else are you doing. Reading self help books? Browsing online? It is not a waste of time, it is actually doing something!

I don't consider reading self help books and browsing online to be a waste of time at all. I'm learning and researching. I don't aimlessly wander the net looking for pointless things to do. I'm either job hunting, researching my career options, or trying to better myself. I do use Twitter and Facebook but only because that's where my friends are (my real life friends aren't the same).

There are entire therapies against depression based on light. Why? Because we humans are meant to be in the light.

I do understand this and I know it's true, I just don't understand why I (and others who are like me) are so opposite. Why are there nightowls? Why are there people with Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (which I believe I have)? There are thousands of people who are trying to get society to operate on a 24 hour basis rather than having everyone sleep at night. I'm by far not the only person like this. And I've been like this since before I even had a choice in the matter. (Age 5 I'm guessing, since that's when I started school and realized I had problems getting up in the morning). If it's so unnatural for humans to function at night, why does it just come naturally for some of us?

If you are normally not up before 10am... get up at 10am, go for a walk and go back to bed (or take a shower and start your day).

Starting my day at 10am is not feasible when I am on call to work 11pm-7am. I've been on this schedule for about 7 years, it's not easy to change. And I feel physically sick when I force myself out of bed after only a few hours of sleep. I don't see why I can't just go outside when I normally do (which is usually anytime after 3pm or so). In fact if 10 minutes is all I need, then I am probably already getting that, I'm sure I'm outside for almost 10 minutes a day without even having to try.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Indiana

For crying out loud, you can't just set your alarm for 9.50 in the morning, get up and take a 10 minute walk? Nobody cares about your hair, getting up at 9.50 is not going to kill you, and nor is 10 minutes of morning sun a day. Can you even hear how ridiculous your excuses are?

Why are you so resistant to change? I mean, you understand that in order to change your life, you have to actually change your life, right?

Would you hop out of bed and go for a walk at 3 in the morning, when you're in the middle of a dead sleep? That's what it would be like for me.

My sleep schedule has nothing to do with my problems and it will have nothing to do with me changing. I sleep 8 hours a day just like everyone else (or at least that's how much most people should sleep), so I don't see the problem. And I am not even complaining about what my hair looks like, when I go for my walks I go out without having taken a shower anyway, I'm fresh out of bed, no makeup, bedhair, puffy eyes, yesterday's underwear, the whole 9 yards. But I'm not going to disrupt my sleep, get my blood pumping for 10 minutes, and then try to fall back asleep after that. When my mailman buzzes me while I'm sleeping I nearly have a heart attack and when I get back to bed I can't calm down for about an hour and then it screws up my entire schedule. Why would I go through all this hassle when I can do it later when I'm already awake?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Ohh, this is ironic.. this is what Angela said about me

When literally every area of your life sucks, where do you start!?

You guys are helping by talking to her.. but I think the best help is to make her "spiritually" workout.. hence the idea I had while talking with her..

Alright this is starting to get ridiculous. Now i'm being told when I should get up and go to bed? What does this have to do with any of my problems? I don't need help in my sleep schedule. Are you guys telling me that anyone who sleeps during the day and stays up all night can't possibly change other parts of their lives or become spiritually enlightened? I'm just really confused how this has anything to do with the original topic.

Themaster I don't mean to make this sound like it's directed at you, I just hit quote as soon as I saw there were more and more replies regarding what hours I sleep.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by carenkh

And yet, you're talking about working on a farm, which would be all outside, much of it during the hottest part of the day. A 10 minute walk is too much, but you want to work, do physical labor, outside, for 8 hours. Makes total sense.

On the farms you would get 8 hours of sleep and THEN get up. That's not what I'm being told to do by everyone in here.

And maybe getting up in the mornings is one of the flaws in this idea, probably the main reason why I'm hesitating.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Carenkh, you might not have realised it, but you just gave her one more reason why she cannot work on an organic farm.

I never even said it was a reason why I CAN'T, it's just one of the cons on my pros and cons list.

(1) While working on a farm, you might sweat and after that, you'll actually have to shower

The difference is, when I'm living on a farm, that is all i'd be doing. I wouldn't have to tell my friends to wait a few hours for me to take a shower and get ready all over again, because after I shower there, I'm not going anywhere else.

(2) While working on a farm, your hair might become untidy, and it would take time to fix it up

Again, same as above. I don't give a crap how I look when I'm working outside getting sweaty, I'm not going out with friends to a bar or out trying to impress anyone.

(3) Rockchick can't work on a farm, because she's a nightowl, and the farm will expect people to work in the daytime

This was already a concern of mine, and one of the reasons I am hesitant. Because I already know how I am with getting up early, I had to suffer through it all through my school years!

(4) Rockchick is not able to enjoy nature and put herself into a peaceful state of mind, when there's loud manmade noise & other people around her. On the farm, there's going to be loud manmade noise and other people around her.

Working on a farm would be WORK, not meditation. And there won't be loud cars driving by (maybe dogs barking, though!). I have never said I didn't like other people being around me when I'm working, only when I'm trying to get myself into a meditative reflective state. Which I obviously can't do while I'm learning how to grow vegetables.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Taking a walk in the sun is a very small, simple thing. If you can come up with no less than eight or nine reasons NOT to do it, then you cannot honestly expect to improve your live in any significant way.

I HAVE taken walks in the sun! That's why I'm so confused why everyone thinks I can't do this. I only said I am not going to do this at 10 in the morning. What's the difference if I do it at 10 am or 4pm? They're both a few hours away from noon.

How could it be possible?? You tell us ... What positive change could you actually make in your life, starting today or tomorrow, for which you do not have multiple arguments why it isn't really workable?

Go on, make a list. What COULD you possibly do?

Are you talking about action steps or little baby steps like I've taken so far? I haven't moved out or gotten a job or bought an RV or anything like that, no, but I have done what I can do now, practice the energy tools, listen to mp3's (mostly ones Themaster has been sending me), reading books and ebooks, continuing to research my options, etc.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

I personally think this is a breakthrough. I mean I didn't realise how rife with fear rockchick really was. I knew she had excuses, but I think her fear is far more advanced than I realised. I think this sounds like a literal phobia about anything and everything. It' sounds more down the line of obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't think comments are going to make much of a difference at this stage. I think it would probably be better to seek professional help, maybe from a cognitive therapist or phycologist, once you have talked it through with someone face-to-face maybe then you can seek further support here?

I know I need something, not sure what...I have taken a few OCD tests (and ADD/ADHD tests) but those said I didn't have them, but I DO have that Sensitive thing, I forget what it was called, from a few pages back. I also am pretty sure I have some type of anxiety disorder. The other night I got called in to work and it was me and the other girl and the phone rang while I was alone in the office and a shot of fear ran through my entire body, my heart started racing and then actually skipped a beat and I felt a tingly rush of heat come over my whole body, I turned to the door (to see if she was coming in to answer it) and thank God she was. And then after that I sat there and shook for about 5 minutes. When I calmed down, I thought of all the advice I've gotten in here and what someone would say to me at that moment and I asked myself what was the core feeling under my fear, and my answer was that I didn't know what to say, I don't know the job well enough to answer questions correctly and when I don't know what to say, I can't even think straight. This happens to me in real life too, I just stutter and say wrong words and giggle and feel like a total idiot. I am NOT a phone person and the thought of me having to know the right words to say scares me half to death.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Not possible. Most of the previous reasons given for not seeing a doctor also apply here.

1. She doesn't have health insurance

2. She is unemployed and doesn't have money to pay for the professional help

These are true but I did find an alternative healing center and they have people who do energy work, hypnosis, reiki, all sorts of things, and they're a lot cheaper than going to a doctor and getting put on medication would be. I would have to put it on my credit card which I wish I didn't have to do (because I can't pay it off until God knows when) but I'm going to have to do it.

3. She would rather change her diet (however, for several other reasons given elsewhere, she's not actually able to change her diet)

I can change my diet when I go grocery shopping and am buying my own food, but I don't always have money for food and am forced to eat either at work (on nights I get called) or my parents and friends houses. Nobody is into organic healthy food like I am so I get crappy stuff but I'm not going to complain when it's all I can get sometimes.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I HAVE taken walks in the sun! That's why I'm so confused why everyone thinks I can't do this.

Oh, that's fine then.

I thought you couldn't do it, because:

(a) your doctor advised you against it
(b) sunscreen bottles advise you against it
(c) your two removed moles suggested that you shouldn't do it
(d) it takes too much effort to get yourself ready for a 10-minute walk
(e) you would sweat and need to take a shower
(f) your hair would be messed up and you would need to fix it up again.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

What's negative about seeking extra help? It's sort of clear that rockchick has a phobia about a lot of things. A trained proffesional can help more effectivly. Even alternative help is fine, like NLP or something like that.

That's unusual for you to not like a tone of a thread master, you're always pointing out what your opinion is on topics and how one should handle things. Is that fact that I am asking her to seek professional advice that you don't like?

I was upset by the way this was going too, until you mentioned getting help, which I agree with. I know there are some problems I'm having that are mental and/or due to anxiety and not related to my life situation at all. I mean these are problems I've had my whole life, not just since I got laid off and started to rediscover and change my life. I've always been a shy, scared, timid, careful person. And I have always avoided situations where I wouldn't know what to do (such as answering phones). I've always been neurotic and strange.

[Acting Like Godot]

See, her mind functions on contrarian-reverse mode. When I state the reasons why she can't do something, she immediately finds reasons why she can:

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

These are true but I did find an alternative healing center and they have people who do energy work, hypnosis, reiki, all sorts of things, and they're a lot cheaper than going to a doctor and getting put on medication would be. I would have to put it on my credit card which I wish I didn't have to do (because I can't pay it off until God knows when) but I'm going to have to do it.

To help Rockchick, all you have to do is keep telling her that she is hopeless and useless and should remain an immovable mountain and her problems are unsolveable and there is no solution ....

... and she will immediately find 20 reasons why you are wrong and in fact she is able to improve her life, and find solutions, and get things donem and make positive change etc etc

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

Not at all. What I meant was, that get some one-on-one help face-to-face, to get the ball rolling. It's what I did. Then once I got the ball rolling with change, I came here for extra help. I had many phobias not too dissimilar to rockchick.

When you have someone in front of you telling you what's happening and giving you little exercises it helps get the ball rolling.

What types of problems/phobias were you having before? How did you get rid of them? I am sure I can find something to fix them at that place I was talking about, I was actually waiting to hear back from one of the ladies I emailed but she hasn't gotten back to me. I'll try someone else, there are about 25 practitioners there. I'll find something. I just hope the first thing I try works so I don't have to spend $300 on fixing ONE thing!

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I've always been a shy, scared, timid, careful person.

This sounds a little strange to me - especially the "shy" part - since you had earlier mentioned something about how you can't get things done, because you are always so busy meeting your many friends and relatives.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I also am pretty sure I have some type of anxiety disorder. The other night I got called in to work and it was me and the other girl and the phone rang while I was alone in the office and a shot of fear ran through my entire body, my heart started racing and then actually skipped a beat and I felt a tingly rush of heat come over my whole body, I turned to the door (to see if she was coming in to answer it) and thank God she was. And then after that I sat there and shook for about 5 minutes.

Okay ... To me, that sounds like you really need professional help.

If you need it, then go for it.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by bluelighth

I have to agree with themaster as to how those replies are very limiting. Then again, I can also understand those replies don't mean "its impossible", rather "its impossible, if rockchick doesn't change her state-of-mind/vibe/mental habits".

I think what ALG and ellie point out is basically that her current thought patterns are very limiting, and she can't do anything with them. She'll just find new excuses. She needs to stop having excuses and start trying things even if she has 10,000 excuses not to. She needs to start thinking about the things she wants, not the excuses on why she can't/won't do them.

Yes I totally agree, I admit I have a habit of having many excuses for things, but in this particular example about when I go for my walks, I don't see why that matters, there are 24 hours in a day and I don't see why I have to walk in the MIDDLE of my sleep time. None of you would get up in the middle of the night to exercise, so why should I? I can just as easily walk after my 8 hours of sleep is done, which is what I've been doing. I just don't like it, but it's better than disrupting my sleep.

One question to rockchick - could you post a list of those 20 intrests you said you had a few pages back? or the current intrests? just curious...

No problem! (these are not in any order, by the way)

Photography
Writing (websites, blogs, books)
Stormchasing
Something involving music (can't figure out yet, probably something like a roadie)
Something involving organic foods (either working in a store or a farm or having my own farm or selling organic food out of an RV)
Buy an RV and travel the US
Video editing
Make documentaries
Take classes in all my interests (some of the things up there as well as other things like philosophy, holistic healing, natural health)
Follow bands around on tour in an RV (with other fans)
Work in a library
Get more active in Wicca

For some reason there aren't as many here as there was last time, I think i'm starting to narrow it down a bit if you can call that narrowed down!

Edit: Added the last 2 just now!

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Photography
Writing (websites, blogs, books)
Stormchasing
Something involving music (can't figure out yet, probably something like a roadie)
Something involving organic foods (either working in a store or a farm or having my own farm or selling organic food out of an RV)
Buy an RV and travel the US
Video editing
Make documentaries
Take classes in all my interests (some of the things up there as well as other things like philosophy, holistic healing, natural health)
Follow bands around on tour in an RV (with other fans)

What baby steps have you taken today, or in the past week, or in the past month, towards any of the above interests?