Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

Just now I went into the other room to check on the dinner I have cooking, and my kids were watching "Yellow Submarine". The song that was playing, which I couldn't escape while I was in the kitchen, was one that struck me really hard. It applies very much to who I used to be, and it made me think of this thread.

Strange thing is, I've known this song since I was a kid, and I understood what it was about, but this is the first time I've really understood it applied to the me-who-was... *sigh* I don't know why my reality is continually mirroring this to me, but I'm guessing it has to do with getting rid of baggage left over from the self who was...

Anyway, it does apply to this thread, as much as it does to me. I'm sure astute participants will pick up on why.

I love that song. Guess in this case it could be called Nowhere Woman! I still feel like my position is only temporary though, so I better not be Nowhere Woman a year or two from now!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

"you may be a planner, but remember you also seem to have a theme of not wanting to use these plans - or of wishing to be unstructured. "

what have the books you've red said about this kind of thing?

I don't think I've ever read any books about people who plan too much, if any of them touched on it I'm sure they said exactly what you said, to figure out a way to do the plans you need to and then have unstructured time the rest of the time. I also think my biggest problem is that I'm unemployed (well, not for the last month, but generally)...because when you have all the time in the world (so you think), you sit back and say "well if I have all the time in the world, I can do it anytime" and then you hardly ever get around to doing it. When I was working, my free time was more precious so I had to prioritize all my plans and I DID get stuff done!

if you want to carry through with plans - practice that. even little plans.
if you want to be spontaneous practice that. even little spontaneous acts.

I just feel that all the plans I have are so huge and expensive compared to my daily life, I dont know how to fit parts of them into my life right now. Like the traveling thing...I dont know how I can do little bits of that every day, with no money. Going for a walk around my neighborhood does not count!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

my take is that there is no clear intention possible for exclusive objects from multiple people.

"money can't buy me love" - it really is just love that is what people are after. and love is completely abundant and infinite.

but certainly everyone gets exactly what they need, even without doing intentional manifestation techniques. every moment of every day is calling each of us to recognize how it is we are. the mirror is out there showing us what our internal word is. what you see is how you are. then if someone feels like there's not enough love out there, if they can find more love inside themselves, then it gets reflected for them in the world. like "be the change you want to see in the world".

and philosophically those that feel they don't have something is exactly what they need to show them what is inside them.

so I hear...

I am struggling with this. Take my life for example, I had low self esteem as a kid, as a teenager and through my 20's. I didn't start really liking myself until my 30's. So, how is it that I had a boyfriend when I was 27, and have been single since I was 30? Does that mean I only loved myself from age 27-30, and that's how I was able to find love? And also, is it just a coincidence that back then I was always around new people, and now I am not? What if someone truly loves themselves and loves the world yet they live in an island by themselves, they will never meet anyone that way, so the love theory is blown to hell.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't see how those are contradictory. First I said that I don't make much money off unemployment, COMPARED to when I was working, BUT even without working I was still able to pay my rent and all m bills. So both statements are still true.

This is how you run all over the place, making excuses. You twist and turn like an eel. Right now you've decided to conveniently forget we were talking about your ability to manifest money. You were boasting about how much you could manifest even without working; you talked about how you could afford new vehicles every few years etc etc.

Go on and twist and turn then. I'm kinda used to it by now. I have noticed how often you do it here - with everyone's remarks. If it suits your purpose, you'll say that you dare not do anything that would incur your father's disapproval. But if it suits your other purpose, you will immediately say that in fact you frequently do things against your father's wishes - have premarital sex; get drunk; do drugs - and that you clearly are not under your father's thumb.

At other times, if you need to offer the excuse that you're too shy to work with other people, you'll give all kinds of elaborate examples - you even mentioned how at the shelter you're currently working, you have great difficulties talking to the one single other co-worker who's there at night, you can't look at her in the eye etc.

But faced with a different poster's remark, and needing another sort of excuse, you'll say that you absolutely have no problems with your co-workers - you only have problems with customers.

So it goes on and on and on .....

[Acting Like Godot]

Here is another example of twisting and turning like an eel:

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I also think my biggest problem is that I'm unemployed (well, not for the last month, but generally)...because when you have all the time in the world (so you think), you sit back and say "well if I have all the time in the world, I can do it anytime" and then you hardly ever get around to doing it.

Here you claim that you have the belief that "you have all the time in the world" because you're unemployed ..... Elsewhere in the thread, when you are asked why haven't you done this or done that, you give a long list of stories about how you're too busy, because today you need to watch this show; tomorrow you need to paint your friend's house; the day after, it's your brother's birthday; after that, you need to buy groceries etc etc, all your days are completely busy.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

I keep waiting for this thread to die down. She has half of the forum captivated in her vicious circle.

When she has suffered enough, she will do something. If nothing else, suffering pushes you to take serious steps. Until then, IMO, she is just passing time, hers and everyone else's.

Suggestions to her: Forget all of this wishy-washy rubbish and heal yourself. Reiki worked for me and there is a multitude of avenues of therapy to take. Once you heal yourself, everything else will become clearer and things will come more easily to you.

I spent a lifetime, 41 years, in hell, and 2 years ago, I had reached my breaking point of suffering. Stopped all life pursuits, dreams, wishes, thoughts, etc. and focused on one thing--healing myself. It took me all of 2 years. The 41 years I spent crying, screaming and suffering--all it needed was 2 years of focused healing. Now I am different, I am happier and more solid than ever, and what I want has become more clear to me, as have the paths by which they will come - and they are coming to me now--not the least of which is my life-long dream of getting married.

And I'll only say that once.

I want to do this...I can't afford a Reiki treatment but I did get offered a free chakra healing, which I did, and it didn't do a damn thing. I haven't noticed anything different at all, while it was happening or anytime since then. Not saying the woman was a scam, she has plenty of excellent testimonials, and I thought she would work for me too, it was my first time doing anything like that and I really had faith in it but, for whatever reason it didn't do anything. She told me to come back because it has to be done every month, but I would have to pay for it then and I don't have the money.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

it was my first time doing anything like that and I really had faith in it but, for whatever reason it didn't do anything.

Yeah, yeah, we know. See the title of the thread.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't think I've ever read any books about people who plan too much

But I have. It's just the authors don't normally use the euphemism "plan too much". Instead the authors write about people who procrastinate; have big fears of failure and/or just lack self-motivation in life.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I love that song. Guess in this case it could be called Nowhere Woman! I still feel like my position is only temporary though, so I better not be Nowhere Woman a year or two from now!

Look at your life one year ago.

Look at your life now.

You were a Nowhere Woman then, you are a Nowhere Woman now.

Nothing has changed.

Just carry on exactly with what you've doing all this time, and your chances of being a Nowhere Woman a year or two from now, will be excellent.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

[My brain] really does feel like my enemy, like it's my own personal devil acting against me, seperate from me. I know it isn't but i'm just saying it feels like that because I can't argue with the excuses it gives me.

Yes you can.

Learning to argue with myself was a crucial step for me. If I hadn't made a conscious effort to recognize, then override my default negative thought patterns, I'd still be sitting here wishing for a different life.

And it's still crucial, beause I still catch myself making excuses now and again. But it's much easier to recognize and push past them these days because I've had lots of practice doing it.

I'm 42 years old. My education is in the fine arts and humanities. I pursued those interests because I had a genuine desire to, but I also did so because I believed I didn't have a choice. I couldn't go into the sciences, engineering, or medicine because I was bad at math. I had to take a remedial math class just to graduate from high school. Years later, I had a rough time getting through the one algebra class I needed in order to get my BA.

For my entire adult life, I've had only one real regret: that I was no good at math, and was thus shut out of the sciences. I've always had an interest in science, but could only sit in the stands and watch (and way up in the cheap seats, to boot).

Then, in January, I decided I wanted to be a veterinarian. I've always wanted to be one, and after many months of taking care of a chronically-ill cat I realized that my desire to do it was stronger than ever.

So I'm going to spend the next two years preparing to apply for vet school.

Making the decision, however, unleashed a torrent of excuses why I couldn't do it. Which gives me a perfect means to illustrate how I go about defusing fear-based excuses:

But you'll be 50--maybe 51--by the time you graduate!
Even if I don't go, I'll still be 50. I'd rather be 50 and a vet than not.

But you suck at math! You'll never get through pre-calc or statistics!
I bet I can. Somehow, I'll find a way. I'll hire tutors, find resources online, seek out other books--I don't know how I'm going to do it just yet, but when the time comes, I will.

But it's so expensive! You'll be at least $100K in debt by the time you graduate! How are you going to pay all that off? You'll be making student loan payments until you're 70!
I won't be solely dependent on student loans. I'll still earn an income during vet school, doing what I do now--and maybe the economy will recover by then and I'll make even more. Maybe I can get grants or scholarships.

I don't know yet--I don't have to. All I have to do right now is get through Algebra for Dummies again. Baby steps, ya know?

What if you go through all this work and don't get in?
I'll request a file review to see why I was turned down. Then I will do whatever I have to do to be a more competitive candidate in the next application cycle. But I know what adcoms are looking for, and what will make me a strong applicant, so I believe I can get in on the first try.

What if you do all this work and decide you don't want to be a vet after all?
Dude--I will finally have the science education I always wanted. How excellent would that be? That alone is enough.

And if I don't want to be a vet, it will be because I've discovered something else that I like even more--something I don't even know exists right now.

Besides, knowing I could apply to vet school but don't really want to beats wishing I had what it takes to apply at all.

The vet school you want to attend is in another state, and they accept very few out-of-state students every year. This year, it was roughly 7 out of a class of 125. You'll never get in! And if you do, you'll get hit with an extra $13K in tuition your first year, until you've established in-state status!
When the time comes, I'll make a decision on that. No sense worrying over right now; I still have to take Algebra for Dummies, remember? BABY STEPS.

Maybe I will be one of those rare out-of-state acceptances. Or maybe I'll find an easy way to establish residency so I can apply as an in-state student.

(Funny, but while reading about Rockerchick's RV fantasy yesterday, I received an insight on how I can establish residency. It's so simple, I laughed--why didn't I think of it earlier? So that "problem" is solved. Who said this thread was useless? )

Well what I should have said was that most people here don't beleive I WILL do it. Being able to is another thing but I really don't think anyone has faith that I will change. I personally do though, because I don't want to live another 50 or 60 years like this.

If they don't believe you will do it, it is because you insist on not doing it.

If they don't have faith that you will change, it's because you have shown no real sign of changing.

But it's not our beliefs about you that are the problem, here; it's your persistent refusal to confront your beliefs and take action.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't agree with this AT ALL. Doing things has to start with thinking about them, am I right?

Yes, but you're overthinking them. You're using thinking as a substitute for doing.

What if you were in a prison and you were daydreaming about playing football. You didn't think about anything else but how awesome and fun it would be to be able to play football. Does that mean you aren't interested in football, because you can't do it at the moment?

YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON.

Well, okay, you are--but it's one you've built yourself. Fortunately, you can destroy it yourself, too. You can step out onto the field and enter the game at any time; nobody's stopping you but yourself.

Now, you may not be very good at the game at first, because you've spent so much time locked up in your prison, daydreaming about playing instead of actually doing it. But if you keep choosing to play--especially through times when you feel like you'd rather be back in the safety of your cell--you'll gradually get good at it. You'll start having fun. You'll start making good plays instead of dropping the ball, losing yardage, or scoring touchdowns for the opposing team.

But that's not going to happen as long as you keep lying on your bunk, behind the bars you've forged for yourself, daydreaming about someday playing the game.

Why would anyone think about something they didn't want to do?

Are you kidding? People do that every single day.

They think about how much they'd love a better job--and then stay at one they hate because job-hunting is too intimidating.

They think about how they'd love to be free of other people's demands and expectations--and then they remain at the beck and call of others because they're afraid of what would happen if they said "No."

They think about how they'd love to travel all over, and be free to live as they like--and then they come up with a hundred flimsy excuses for why they can't even begin to act on it, all of them rooted in fear.

Daydreaming is not enough. Wanting something is not enough. You have to want it badly enough to take action, to let the world know that you mean what you say.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

...if you look at a poll asking how much tv does the average person watch a day, it's like 4 or 5 hours. That implies that most people watch tv, because if most didn't, then the average would have been way lower. I just found an article saying the average home in America has more tv's than it has people!! What does that tell you!

Who gives a rat's ass what the "average person" is doing, or how much TV they watch per day? Who the hell wants to be average? Who wants to be like "most people"?

Defending something as A-OK by pointing out how much the "the average person" does it, and using "most people's" behavior as the basis for what is good, doesn't fly. At least not with me. Average is where mediocrity dwells, and personally, I refuse to be mediocrity's ♥♥♥♥♥.

And I can tell you this from direct observation: the people who fulfill their dreams and live extraordinary lives of their own creation are not watching 4-5 hours of TV per day. Maybe per week, or per month, but they simply don't watch much television. Many don't watch it at all.

After all, there are too many other things worth doing--why watch TV when you could do something genuinely interesting and worthwhile, something that feeds your mind and creativity, something that helps you connect with other interesting people? Why bother with "escapist" fun, when you have nothing you need to escape from?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

You can't be like them becuase you don't actually have any dreams (your own words bolded above), soo I guess that means you have no real goals.

I said I never HAD any dreams, meaning past tense. I never thought about what I wanted to do with my life until about 2 years ago. Before I was laid off, I was unconsciously drifting through life resigned to the fact that I'd be working at the factory forever. Now that I am free of that prison, I feel like I CAN create some dreams. So, then I started brainstorming, and more and more interests popped up. I was overwhelmed with what I wanted to do. So I tried the first two I ever had, from my childhood. Those didn't work out like I had hoped. I got confused. I wanted to try new different things. But I'm barely able to pay for surviving, so right now I feel like all I can do is prepare for when I do have enough money, and that includes figuring out which of my interests I want to do for a living. But almost all of them are hard to get paid for, compared to a traditional job. That's why I'm struggling. I DO have dreams NOW, but I'm still confused on which ones to go for.

But, since you are doing exactly what you want now, why aren't you happy? Why do you want to change? Becuase you have no definate dream that you HAVE TO HAVE and you are mindlessly jumping from one interest to the next. You are enjoying everything you want currently, plain and simple. Yet, you still aren't happy. WHY? (ps. I don't want to hear money becuase money is free for you now and yet you are soo concerned about the future that you won't linger in the moment of now and savor the feeling of getting exactly what you want and hold on to the happiness)

Yes money is free NOW but it will be ending soon, I can't be on unemployment forever, and I am still unsure when it is going to end. My job has been calling me almost every day for the last month so it screwed with my account. And the money I'm getting is only enough to pay for rent and bills, that is how I am unable to do anything but survive right now. I am happy with one thing, that my daily schedule is free (except on days I have to work), but I am NOT happy with the fact that I don't have enough money to enjoy my hobbies. I've had to give up going to concerts!! That's the worst thing for me, especially since 3 of my favorite bands were just here and I had to miss them.

And you wonder why I state you aren't passionate about photography and only about reading. You CHOOSE to read EVERYDAY and only go after your other interests haphazardly.

Ok. I think I need to say this again in all caps just so people really get it.

THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW IS NOT HOW I LIVE IT WHEN I HAVE MONEY!

I never used to read books until a few years ago! I never used to sit around and think and plan and analyze my future, back when I thought my future was working at the factory. This period of my life is only temporary, it's just a transisition period. It's a learning period so that I can find myself and figure out how I want to spend my future. It's like a time out, a way for me to regroup and come up with a dream.

As for the photography thing, I have about 15 photo albums full of pictures, plus a ton of pictures that won't fit into the albums. I have had cameras since I was 15 years old. Just because I only read about photography NOW doesn't mean that's all I ever did. It's just that I've found, from having crappy cameras, that I am not satisfied with the pictures I've been able to take.

What would happen if you pushed a different interest EVERYDAY with the same amount of time you spent reading? Maybe if you spent the same amount of time you spent reading last week, and decided this week to do photography, maybe just maybe you would have 1 at least 1 pic you like.

I DID do that, BEFORE I was laid off...that's how I found out my crappy cameras were not good enough.

Ok lemme ask you a question. If you are using the fact that you aren't like "the rest" to prevent you from achieving your dreams, why are you going to agree to live the average normal life? All your excuses are your reasoning that you are exceptional. That the things others do to achieve thier dreams can't apply to you and your situation. Which is why it works for them and not for you, which is why you won't even bother applying your perfectionism to their rules to see IF it even works.
From what you have listed, it doesn't sound like living in an RV and traveling from concert to concert will having you living up to requirements needed of the average person to watch 4 to 5 hours of tv a day. So if what you want is exceptional life, why the frig does it matter that I pointed out an "exception" to you?? Soo what does that tell you?!?!?
I'll tell you what it tells me. You WANT to be exceptional, but deep down inside you are happy being the average person that would rather sit and watch tv 4 hours a day than achieve dreams in their free time (becuase it's easy or you are lazy).

I'm confused...I think you misunderstood my tv comment. I was saying that I DON'T watch 4 hours of tv a day like the average person. Most days I don't even turn my tv on. So, everything you said was reflecting a misunderstanding. I have never felt average, the only reason I bring up what the average person does is to show how I'm not like them. But i'm not saying my problems aren't average, or that I'm special because I have them, I'm just saying generally I don't fit in with the norm most of the time.

When you are given the average run of the mill advice, you also reject it with some elaborate excuse as to why your circumstances are exceptional.

I give MY reasons as to why I feel that I can't implement the advice, I never said I was exceptional, just saying how I feel, not saying nobody else has ever had my problems.

And here I thought you were looking for advice, looking for examples of others making it work, but why should anyone here bother offering anything to you besides some more reading? Reading seems to be the only thing that you are willing to do no matter what the advice is or who it is from.

I read a lot because I have been given or have discovered a lot of good books, ebooks, and whatever else, to help me figure out who I am, why I am the way I am, and how to decide what I want and how to go after it. I apparently set out an intention to be able to figure it all out, and that's what brought me all this reading material. I got so much of it that it will take me months to finish, at this point. I just feel like I can't do anything until after I get all that read, because I felt that it was brought into my path for a reason. For me to not finish reading it would not be right.

What haven't you rejected in the 40 pages of advice and support here? I want a list. I am pretty sure that I'm not the only 1 here. And I know wolfgang has asked you to elaborate on some of your breakthrew moments.

I did make a list of all the breakthroughs I could think of, by now it's probably 10 or 15 pages back. There has been lots of good advice, but I'm not going to read back through all 51 pages just to make a list, when I thought something was good, I said it, so you should be reading my replies to know what I thought was good advice.

I would like to see you list all the advice that you have actually used and applied in your life right now. In 40 pages people have come and gone and returned giving thanks for the advice from many of the enlightened people that have been offering suggestions and help. I've seen it happen with at least with 3 people in this topic.
Have you read threw the whole topic agian, like Angela suggested?

It takes me a few hours just to get through ONE page!! It would take me a month to re-read all 51 pages.

Alg took time to go threw all the pages of your responses to list all the excuses you have given us. I don't think it's a far stretch for you to come out and list all the useful information you have applied and how many times you have. And hell why not on a separate list, list all the useful information you like but just haven't applied yet, and I would actually LIKE to hear your reasons as why you can't implement them right at this moment.

I do want to go back and re-read all of this again, but right now I feel like it would be counter productive. I've already read it all, and I haven't read all my books yet. If someone really wants to know what advice I liked and what I "rejected" (although I wouldn't use that word), you don't even have to go back and re-read the whole thread, just do a search for my posts and then you can see them all.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

But you'll be 50--maybe 51--by the time you graduate!
Even if I don't go, I'll still be 50. I'd rather be 50 and a vet than not.

I absolutely love this one!!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Ecce Homo

Oh Rockchick! Of course you could be like that! This is not rocket science. I'd go as far as saying that at the deepest level, you are already at peace. But I know that is not what this thread is about so I won't linger there.

I am at peace with certain things, all the big existential things, and that's how I know that living this life is what we should focus on while we can, and that's why now I'm trying to figure that part out.

Anyway, I’m guessing that the best thing you could do for yourself right now is STOP. Just stop everything. Stop reading, stop going back and forth with us here, stop with the internet chats, and take just one day to clear your mind. Or if 24 hours is too long, take just a few moments. Focus on your breath. For those few moments you might quiet your mind a little. Then after that, ask yourself some leading questions, like who are you and what would it take for you to be unconditionally happy now. Don’t worry about techniques or which book said what or the LOA or what your perfect career looks like. Just answer those types of questions. When "yeah, but" thoughts appear in response to the answers you generate, don't resist them or even argue with them yet. Take note of them and let them pass. That is what I would do if I were in your shoes. Focus on being. And then, move outward to external things, like career. Your career will be a reflection and expression of who you are and of what facilitates your own joy, not the other way around.

I actually did something like this, last night at work. There was a situation that required us to simply sit near this boy who was sleeping to make sure he was safe all night, well I had my book there (Self Matters, by Dr. Phil) and I got to read a lot of it and do some of the exercises, (I was actually really excited to tell everyone in here about it!)...

The exercise was to show where your location of control comes from, either from you or if life is left up to chance. And my score showed that I believe my power comes from me. I was happy to learn that. So at least I got that on my side...

Then I simply lost the desire to read, and I just felt like sitting still and just sitting there, so I closed my book, looked out the window, saw the sky was starting to get light (it was about 5 am), and I saw a bunch of bats flying around by the window. I stood there and watched them for about 10 minutes, then I sat back down, and looked up at this really pretty painting on the wall. It was of a mountain, river, trees, wildlife, etc. I just sat and stared at it for about half an hour. I was so peaceful. And I had a lot of cool thoughts, I felt like I was stoned actually! (Because that's how I think when I'm stoned, the good ideas and cool thoughts just come in a neverending barrage that I can't even keep up with). One of them was to write a book or make a documentary called A World Without Money. I wrote that down when I got home so I don't forget it. But anyway, my awesome moment didn't last any longer than half an hour or so, because I had to get up and do some last minute work before my shift was over. My whole ride home was awesome, my iPod had died so I just drove home in silence, and the world was so beautiful, the sun just came up, it was WARM out (it's NEVER warm in Minnesota in the morning!) I felt like I was in another state.

But even after all that, I still come to the point where I have to start thinking and planning again. So all the good ideas I had during that moment, I still have to think about which ones I want to do first, and how I'm going to do them. I am starting to think maybe I should just sell all my ideas because I can't keep up with all of them!

Have you though? Have you given up on trying to get all the answers? It sounds like that is exactly what you really want. You focus on reading, reading, reading, planning, planning, planning and only after you’ve read and planned to the nth degree will you then… do what? Be happy?

When I said I'm done looking for answers, I didn't mean answers about my career, I meant the meaningful existential spiritual answers about life. I no longer need to know which religion is the right one, I no longer need to wonder about an afterlife, I no longer need to know how the world began and what the truth is about life. The meaning of life is to LIVE, simple as that.

So while I'm at peace with all that, now all that's left is to get my life down here in working order.

If anything, Lost should have taught you the folly of that approach. Almost all of the best laid plans by the major characters ended up backfiring in some very painful way. You could try “letting go”, getting off the self help merry-go-round and getting honest with yourself. (The suggestion above about stopping/breathing/asking.)

I know, and I'm torn. Everything inside me is pushing me to read, even though I know that's probably the last thing I should do. But the way I see it, at the moment while I have no money, I might as well spend my time doing free stuff and I just won't feel right until I've read everything I paid for.

I’d also suggest that you have created the right people and experiences. They reflect who you are being right now. They are in fact a perfect mirror. What does your life, as it is right now, tell you about what you really think and what you really feel on an habitual basis?

But the people in my life are not helping me. My dad certainly isn't, most of my friends certainly aren't. I feel held back by most people in my life. Even the lady who did my chakra clearing said I need to find the right people and things will fall into place quicker. I think the advice she gave me was better than the actual chakra clearing!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Why is it we are afraid to leave our present situtation.. and let the universe support us.. it's really down to trust.. isn't it?

We can manifest some creme pies and a free microwave.. but go live your dreams.. no thank you sir! I'll keep my job at mcdonald's and live at home..

I actually wanted to say something about this too, that I read in that book last night (that book is completely amazing and helping me a LOT, by the way!). It explained WHY people do what you just said, why they don't manifest their dreams and end up living a boring predictable life. It's because of fear, yes, but more than that. It's because even as miserable as we are, we are still benefitting from it somehow. And it totally reaffirmed my situation, he said that some people deep down like something about their situation and rather than take a risk, it's "better" to stay where they are because at least they are getting something out of it, where if they take a risk, they can't guarantee it will be better than the current situation.

And that totally makes sense for me. Right now I don't have to work (although I have been, but that's not my choice), and my days are free. To me, taking a risk by going into debt to take classes to learn something feels like too much of a gamble at this point. I do want to take classes, but only when my situation gets bad enough to where taking the gamble on going into debt is a better option. I do want to travel and explore my hobbies, but going into debt to do them is not worth it right now (and not to mention, not even possible, my credit card doesn't have a high limit).

Just to show some of the fear I have..

- In MN I drove out to the Mastering Alchemy potluck! and I got there and asked why the heck was I going to go inside? Took me 15 minutes of reasoning on fear or judgment issues (that of other people)

- Same thing with a certain hot spring I went too.. cept the fear was different this time.. the fear was showing my over-weight body.. spent at least 15 minutes just sitting there asking why I ain't I going in? (took me another 2 hours to get in the water.. but that's semantics ) The 2nd time I went back I was in there in 5 minutes

Themaster, who knew!!? YOU experience fear?!

I've said it before I have 50 to 60k in cash.. I would love to just go out and spend it in some way and live a life of "ease" (travel or something) but I also got that nagging fear in the back of my head.. the ego telling me.. you'll spend it and it's a wasted oppurtunity.. etc.

If I can try to think like the rest of the people in here, I would say to you, go out and spend it any way you want, and somewhere, throughout your travels, an opportunity will come up for you to get more money.

Oh, I just read where you said you were probably going to do that anyway but just not today, alright, awesome! I wish I could do the same!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

You grab 3 notebooks, and do this when you have a couple of hours of alone time. Since you don't have a job, you have plenty of time, the only thing keeping you from doing this exercise is yourself.

• 1st book. write down EVERYTHING TO DO. ~Completely exhaugst your brain. If you need to get it done. Write it on this notebook/pad. When I say everything I mean EVERYTHING, small, big, supposed to be done last weeek, don't even need to be done till 2 years from now. I MEAN EVERYTHING. It can take a couple of hours.

• Take a break, and put 1st book out of the room you are in, away from you.

• 2nd book - write down EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO. desires/dreams whatever you want to call it ~ Agian till your brain feels dead. If when thinking of a want, you remember something you have TO DO, write it on a a separate peice of paper.

• Take a break - put 2nd book with 1st, away from you.

• 3rd book - Write out EVERY FEAR you have. ~ completely exhaust your mind. If you think of something to add to your to do or wants lists, write it on a separate peice of a paper and keep it.

• Take a break then grab all 3 books.

• Look at your lists, Add the extra TO DO's or WANTs from separate peices of paper to the master lists.

• Look at your TO DO list, identify which ones are really wants and transfer them to your want list.

• Look at your WANT list. If there are things you NEED to do, add it to the TO DO list. Also, what steps you need to do to get to your wants. So if you want to travel to europe, prepare and mail passport and visa applications should be added to your TO DO list.

• Look at you FEARS list. List the things to need to do to overcome your fears and add this new list to your TO DO list. (A BIG PART OF LIFE IS OVERCOMING OUR FEARS, you might as well get it over and done with)

• Now back to the TO DO list. Cross off all double entries (you may find that you HAVE TO DO many of the steps to overcome your fears or getting to your wants already, at least you now know why you may have been dragging your feet)

• Prioritize by date and urgency your TO DO list. Then rewrite it in order. Soo things that were supposed to be done last month or or yesterday should be to the top with the things that must be done by a deadline or are URGENT (ie, your unemployment stuff). You may find out that some things you feel soo urgent to do, don't need to be done for another 6 months.

• Write Your want/dreams/desires list in the back on the 1st book.

• START DOING EVERYTHING THAT NEED TO BE DONE ON THE TO SO LIST!

• Keep your book near you, by the bed and read your list last thing before you go to bed and frist thing in the morning.

Now, since you are normally paralyzed by all the things you have to do.
You will have cleared your brain off all that junk that will keep on going in loop and have it all writen down on paper, prioritized soo you just have to go in order.
Now I know you are thinking that's sooo much stuff, I can't possibly do it all in time. If I see the whole list, it'll just put me down becuase it's just a reminder of all the things I have to do.
OR
You can think, Geez now that I have all this stuff sorted out, my brain feels lighter, I don't feel as stressed. I know what NEEDS to be done and by when. I know all what needs to be done, soo my mind isn't running in a loop trying to remind me of this that and the other. My mind is at easy and happy.

This sounds like the perfect project for me!! Actually I have already done variations of this, it was part of the thing I created but never went through with it, I did make the lists though. I had a list already from the Tony Robbins program I did, so I have my list of things I want to do, and it is a 5-year list. But I (from other books) have created lists for my entire life. I compiled them all together. I also have a "to do" list that is 1 page long, so I'll work with that too.

I am excited to do this, I just saw a few notebooks the other day that I wanted to buy but I didn't have any money (I was out with my friend, just along for the fun of it). This is actually kinda wierd too, I had a dream last night that I was in a store and I found the notebook section and I stood there for like an hour looking at them, I wanted to buy all of them! I just got this great feeling thinking about buying them. This is such a strange obsession! I HAVE notebooks all over the place, some I haven't even written in. I am just obsessed with having blank notebooks to start writing in!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by AaronA

I've found this thread to be very interesting reading, as I've commented ealier. I see myself as being different from RC in that I don't believe that the Law of Attraction should work, at least as a "law" where people want something very badly and it arrives. I think that she does feel that it should work, and that the universe is set up that way. Now, I do believe that things can be manifested. I live Steve's writings because he ties in activity within manifestation. For instance, I recently read a post he did on the difference between professional and amateur shareware writers. I think that it has a lot to consider, and I'd recommend reading the whole thing. He writes about what I see as the rules of manifestation in the shareware domain. It's very practical, and very oriented to delivering something to others. Working from inspiration, for instance, was on the list of what amateurs did. That really hit home to me.

Anyway, the manifestation in the shareware world Steve wrote about involved playing by rules (my phrase), and you can't just manifest that those rules don't exist. I would extrapolate that to any other manifestation domain as well. In my eyes, the LoA is a metaphor that lets people stay focused, because if you aren't focused, you don't enact plans. I'm skeptical that I'll be able to encounter all the synchronicities that masters such as ALG encounter (though if you're reading, ALG, feel free to send some my way!). I'd love to believe that I can set those up in advance, and maybe I should work on that belief. But what holds me back is sort of the opposite of RC; my belief is that the Universe shouldn't provide all of this at my whim, that I need to work at all of this, and need to get lucky to boot. I only pick the "likely" things. I do truly believe there are unlimited potentials in many different domains; in the RV and concert domain, for instance, this thread could be read by sympathetic parties who donate an RV, concert tickets, essentials and amenities to RC for the rest of her life. That's just extremely unlikely in my view.

All that said, my question and struggles are like RC's: What are the potentials that I can make real? How can I spend less time working for them and more time enjoying them? I have the added handicap of not thinking the Universe can know my thoughts and then provide them, beyond what I can communicate on my own to others. I read through this thread, and the thing that I believe RC needs is a breakthrough result, and I'd say I need the same thing. I hope she'll excuse me for putting associating words with her online presence here, but it's not the internal landscape that we want to change, but the external one. The posts that spoke the most to me were the calls to action. I almost think it would be better if RC believed everything relied solely on her actions, and then she was later confronted with seemingly random synchronicities that still somehow brought about her goal (To RC - More like Jack than Locke).

Sorry if this wasn't direct advice to anybody, I'm just trying to get my thoughts out on all of this. I feel that a while ago I had the same viewpoint as RC did, and was in a similar position. It's good to see a community of people that can act as a positive resource.

Thanks for your input! It's interesting to hear your viewpoint. And I really like the Lost analogy...I know that they both ended up getting what they wanted even though one believed in faith and the other in science, so believing in LoA or Action shouldn't matter, they both get results. I, being a somewhat lazy person, wanted LoA to be my path because it involves less action, and frees up more time for me to learn more.

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But even after all that, I still come to the point where I have to start thinking and planning again. So all the good ideas I had during that moment, I still have to think about which ones I want to do first, and how I'm going to do them.

Ok. So why not just start with the one you were inspired with:

And I had a lot of cool thoughts, I felt like I was stoned actually! (Because that's how I think when I'm stoned, the good ideas and cool thoughts just come in a neverending barrage that I can't even keep up with). One of them was to write a book or make a documentary called A World Without Money.

Don't think about it too much. Don't consider what other ideas might be great to pursue also. Calm your mind again and ask for the next right action to take to make a film/book with the above title. Then do it.

But the people in my life are not helping me. My dad certainly isn't, most of my friends certainly aren't. I feel held back by most people in my life. Even the lady who did my chakra clearing said I need to find the right people and things will fall into place quicker.

I'm gonna give this last paragraph the whole Byron Katie turnaround treatment: But my thinking in my life is not helping me. My beliefs about my dad and my friends certainly, especially when I believe they are supposed to be helping me rather than living their own lives. I feel held back by myself. I need to find the right thinking and things will fall into place quicker.

The turnarounds are all about embracing responsibility. And yes James, I'm taking my own advice.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Meanwhile, another day came and went:

Days Elapsed: Seven.

Action Steps Taken:

(1) Signed up online to join WWOOF, an organic farming website
(2) Shortlisted possible farms to volunteer at.
(3) Went through 1/3 of apartment and identified items to sell at garage sale.

Next Steps:

(1) Prepare for garage sale to raise some money. (1/3 done, two-thirds left to do)

This is pretty much why Rockchick's life is pretty much the same way it was, 16 months ago, when she was first laid off. The days become weeks, the weeks become months, the months become a year and more.

Because since yesterday at this time, I worked 8 hours, slept 10 hours (ONLY because my alarm was set for 3am, not 3pm) so when I woke up, I thought it was just not 3pm yet, and it took me 2 hours to look up at my clock and realize it was 5. Then I showered, ate, called my dad, watered my plants, and now i'm catching up in here. Which one of those things was I supposed to not do?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

No, you're not. Those people actually pursue and fulfill their dreams and achieve their goals.

You know what I meant, our situations were the same BEFORE they did anything about them.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

This is how you run all over the place, making excuses. You twist and turn like an eel. Right now you've decided to conveniently forget we were talking about your ability to manifest money. You were boasting about how much you could manifest even without working; you talked about how you could afford new vehicles every few years etc etc.

"Running all over the place" is not changing my excuse to match whatever I want to emphasize. My life has changed many times, the circumstances changed many times, therefore, what holds true for one part of my life doesn't hold true for another part. I made lots of money when I had a job, that's how I was able to have new vehicles and a house. Now, I have less money than that but still enough to pay rent and bills, but not enough to have new vehicles or explore my hobbies. There is no contradiction here, I am not going back on anything I said.

But if it suits your other purpose, you will immediately say that in fact you frequently do things against your father's wishes - have premarital sex; get drunk; do drugs - and that you clearly are not under your father's thumb.

The only way I am "under his thumb" is that I don't want to tell him all the things I've done. I DO do them, but I don't tell him. But what person would tell their parents those things anyway?!

At other times, if you need to offer the excuse that you're too shy to work with other people, you'll give all kinds of elaborate examples - you even mentioned how at the shelter you're currently working, you have great difficulties talking to the one single other co-worker who's there at night, you can't look at her in the eye etc.

I never have problems talking to my co-worker. You forget that I never have problems talking to co-workers, and I've said this before. The people I have problems talking to are people I just met or people in public.

But faced with a different poster's remark, and needing another sort of excuse, you'll say that you absolutely have no problems with your co-workers - you only have problems with customers.

Yes, exactly. But that doesn't go against anything else I've said so I'm confused why you think I'm changing my story around.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Here is another example of twisting and turning like an eel:



Here you claim that you have the belief that "you have all the time in the world" because you're unemployed ..... Elsewhere in the thread, when you are asked why haven't you done this or done that, you give a long list of stories about how you're too busy, because today you need to watch this show; tomorrow you need to paint your friend's house; the day after, it's your brother's birthday; after that, you need to buy groceries etc etc, all your days are completely busy.

You're changing this around to make it look like I'm changing MY story around! Ok. I DID say I have all the time in the world. I also did say that I had all those things to do. I have all those things to do BECAUSE I have all the time in the world. All my time gets filled up with things that come up BECAUSE of the fact that I don't have a full time job so that is why those things come in to fill in that time. It's still my time to do with as I choose, and I choose to do these things that come up.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Look at your life one year ago.

Look at your life now.

You were a Nowhere Woman then, you are a Nowhere Woman now.

Nothing has changed.

Just carry on exactly with what you've doing all this time, and your chances of being a Nowhere Woman a year or two from now, will be excellent.

But a year from now I'm sure I won't still be unemployed. And if I am, I am sure the unemployment money will have stopped, and I will be forced to do something different. My current situation cannot continue another year. Basically whenever I get a job or the unemployment program ends.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

But you'll be 50--maybe 51--by the time you graduate!
Even if I don't go, I'll still be 50. I'd rather be 50 and a vet than not.

But you suck at math! You'll never get through pre-calc or statistics!
I bet I can. Somehow, I'll find a way. I'll hire tutors, find resources online, seek out other books--I don't know how I'm going to do it just yet, but when the time comes, I will.

But it's so expensive! You'll be at least $100K in debt by the time you graduate! How are you going to pay all that off? You'll be making student loan payments until you're 70!
I won't be solely dependent on student loans. I'll still earn an income during vet school, doing what I do now--and maybe the economy will recover by then and I'll make even more. Maybe I can get grants or scholarships.

I don't know yet--I don't have to. All I have to do right now is get through Algebra for Dummies again. Baby steps, ya know?

What if you go through all this work and don't get in?
I'll request a file review to see why I was turned down. Then I will do whatever I have to do to be a more competitive candidate in the next application cycle. But I know what adcoms are looking for, and what will make me a strong applicant, so I believe I can get in on the first try.

What if you do all this work and decide you don't want to be a vet after all?
Dude--I will finally have the science education I always wanted. How excellent would that be? That alone is enough.

And if I don't want to be a vet, it will be because I've discovered something else that I like even more--something I don't even know exists right now.

Besides, knowing I could apply to vet school but don't really want to beats wishing I had what it takes to apply at all.

The vet school you want to attend is in another state, and they accept very few out-of-state students every year. This year, it was roughly 7 out of a class of 125. You'll never get in! And if you do, you'll get hit with an extra $13K in tuition your first year, until you've established in-state status!
When the time comes, I'll make a decision on that. No sense worrying over right now; I still have to take Algebra for Dummies, remember? BABY STEPS.

Maybe I will be one of those rare out-of-state acceptances. Or maybe I'll find an easy way to establish residency so I can apply as an in-state student.

I feel so silly when I see other people with the same excuses as me and still find ways to make it happen. This is truly an inspiration. Although nobody has yet came up with a good way for me to get around the problem of wanting to travel while having no money.

If they don't believe you will do it, it is because you insist on not doing it.

If they don't have faith that you will change, it's because you have shown no real sign of changing.

I never insisted I wasn't going to change, and I'm always showing signs that I'm changing! I think people just don't see it because it isn't on the level that their changes have been. Baby steps to someone else are still giant steps to me. That's why when I am proud of something or say something positive, most people scoffed at it like it was nothing, but it me it was a lot.

YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON.

Well, okay, you are--but it's one you've built yourself. Fortunately, you can destroy it yourself, too. You can step out onto the field and enter the game at any time; nobody's stopping you but yourself.

Now, you may not be very good at the game at first, because you've spent so much time locked up in your prison, daydreaming about playing instead of actually doing it. But if you keep choosing to play--especially through times when you feel like you'd rather be back in the safety of your cell--you'll gradually get good at it. You'll start having fun. You'll start making good plays instead of dropping the ball, losing yardage, or scoring touchdowns for the opposing team.

But that's not going to happen as long as you keep lying on your bunk, behind the bars you've forged for yourself, daydreaming about someday playing the game.

I shouldn't have used that analogy! How about this one. Lets say a guy is married with kids and has a good job, but he thinks a lot about being single again and traveling the world. Are you saying that he doesn't REALLY want to be single again, he doesn't really want to travel, he just thinks about them to have something to think about?! I don't buy this. I say, whenever somebody thinks about anything they want, they really do want it.

Are you kidding? People do that every single day.

They think about how much they'd love a better job--and then stay at one they hate because job-hunting is too intimidating.

They think about how they'd love to be free of other people's demands and expectations--and then they remain at the beck and call of others because they're afraid of what would happen if they said "No."

They think about how they'd love to travel all over, and be free to live as they like--and then they come up with a hundred flimsy excuses for why they can't even begin to act on it, all of them rooted in fear.

But their excuses not to do them doesn't take away the fact that they DO want to do them! Just because someone doesn't do something doesn't mean they don't want to.

Who gives a rat's ass what the "average person" is doing, or how much TV they watch per day? Who the hell wants to be average? Who wants to be like "most people"?

Defending something as A-OK by pointing out how much the "the average person" does it, and using "most people's" behavior as the basis for what is good, doesn't fly. At least not with me. Average is where mediocrity dwells, and personally, I refuse to be mediocrity's ♥♥♥♥♥.

But i'm not saying it's good to be average, I'm showing you what average is because I am showing you how I am NOT like that. I think everyone misunderstood my tv example. I DO NOT WATCH TV 4 HOURS A DAY! Most days I don't even turn my tv on!

And I can tell you this from direct observation: the people who fulfill their dreams and live extraordinary lives of their own creation are not watching 4-5 hours of TV per day. Maybe per week, or per month, but they simply don't watch much television. Many don't watch it at all.

After all, there are too many other things worth doing--why watch TV when you could do something genuinely interesting and worthwhile, something that feeds your mind and creativity, something that helps you connect with other interesting people? Why bother with "escapist" fun, when you have nothing you need to escape from?

I disagree. I know a few famous musicians who are in bands, who watch Lost and play Worlds of Warcraft and get drunk with their friends. Actors and actresses are always talking about their favorite movies. They watch movies too! The whole cast of Lost watches the show even!! They are fans of their own show!

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am struggling with this. Take my life for example, I had low self esteem as a kid, as a teenager and through my 20's. I didn't start really liking myself until my 30's. So, how is it that I had a boyfriend when I was 27, and have been single since I was 30? Does that mean I only loved myself from age 27-30, and that's how I was able to find love? And also, is it just a coincidence that back then I was always around new people, and now I am not? What if someone truly loves themselves and loves the world yet they live in an island by themselves, they will never meet anyone that way, so the love theory is blown to hell.

I'm talking about spiritual love - not romantic love that comes from having a boyfriend.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Ecce Homo

Ok. So why not just start with the one you were inspired with:



Don't think about it too much. Don't consider what other ideas might be great to pursue also. Calm your mind again and ask for the next right action to take to make a film/book with the above title. Then do it.

Yeah I really want to do that, my next "excuse" my brain is giving me now is, that if I do that and focus on only that, I won't be able to enjoy anything else. I dont like to leave anything out. I hate this "all or nothing" theme, I just can't shake it! And my obsession with reading and learning gets in the way of doing anything, too. I always feel like 'ok after I read and learn and get more money then I'll start my plans'. Maybe there is something out there I have to stumble upon before I do anything, and my subconscious is telling me this by giving me this obsession with reading?

I'm gonna give this last paragraph the whole Byron Katie turnaround treatment: But my thinking in my life is not helping me. My beliefs about my dad and my friends certainly, especially when I believe they are supposed to be helping me rather than living their own lives. I feel held back by myself. I need to find the right thinking and things will fall into place quicker.

The turnarounds are all about embracing responsibility. And yes James, I'm taking my own advice.

Oh yeah, I can change my thinking regarding the people in my life. Another thing I meant by finding the right people though, is finding people who are into the same things I am. People who are into traveling in an RV, people who are into concerts, photography, writing, etc. Because right now I'm surrounded by people who like to watch tv and movies, pretty much.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Because since yesterday at this time, I worked 8 hours, slept 10 hours (ONLY because my alarm was set for 3am, not 3pm) so when I woke up, I thought it was just not 3pm yet, and it took me 2 hours to look up at my clock and realize it was 5. Then I showered, ate, called my dad, watered my plants, and now i'm catching up in here. Which one of those things was I supposed to not do?

What you do everyday is up to you.

What you choose as your "life plan" is also up to you.

Meanwhile, time moves on.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

I'm talking about spiritual love - not romantic love that comes from having a boyfriend.

Well I beleive i'm at peace spiritually, I love everyone and every living thing. So where's my boyfriend!?

I truly believe if I was around guys I would have one. I work with ALL girls, except one guy who is in his late 40's and he's married. The only other people I ever see are my family and friends and the checkout girl at the grocery store.

I believe finding love is not about how much you love yourself, it's about how many people you meet.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

What you do everyday is up to you.

What you choose as your "life plan" is also up to you.

Meanwhile, time moves on.

I had no choice but to work, I had no choice but to sleep. I am not going to go without a shower especially when it's 90 degrees out! My plants need water or they'll die, my dad needs his weekly phone call or he'll be pissy next time I talk to him, and the human body needs food. I didn't do anything that wasn't necessary. And it looks like I won't get anything else done other than catching up in here because I have to leave for work in an hour and I'm not even on the new page yet!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

And it looks like I won't get anything else done other than catching up in here because I have to leave for work in an hour and I'm not even on the new page yet!

Seems to me there is an obvious choice on what you can leave..

Seriously.. don't worry about it. People here are NOT insulted if you do not reply to them.

you want recognition (=love) so bad that you feel that if you do not reply to each and every (ok, not every anymore, but most) post, that people will stop helping you. That they will not like you anymore. That you are not loved anymore.

That is your main issue I feel.

You have this need inside you to feel loved by other people that overshadows everything you do.

If you change too much, certain people may not like you anymore. If you change too little (or show too little effort) other people may not like you anymore. It feels as if your entire life is build around other people liking you, while you don't even like yourself...

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well I beleive i'm at peace spiritually, I love everyone and every living thing. So where's my boyfriend!?

You mean - the perfect guy for you?

Use your own imagination. He probably owns a small, thriving organic farm about seven or eight hours away from where you live. He's passionate about healthy living and eating. His dream is to make a documentary or write a book about organic farming, and fill it with pictures of his own farm - unfortunately, he's not good with photography or writing and he's really hoping for some help here.

In his free time, he listens to rock music. He's a little lonely in life, and seeking a mate. Unfortunately he's so busy with his farm that he rarely gets to go out and meet people. "If only some attractive woman would be willing to come and live with me on my farm," he thinks to himself. "But which woman would? This is the boondies, not many people would be used to the lifestyle here."

Sometimes he daydreams that some woman will just miraculously show up at his farm's doorstep and say, "Hi! Let me introduce myself. I am very interested in organic farming. If you provide me with room and board, I'd work for you for free on your farm. We could try it for a month or two, and see how it goes."

But then he tells himself, "Naaaah. How could that possibly happen?"