Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm still getting used to the ego being something completely different than what I have believed for the last 37 years I've never met a person who didnt get overwhelmed when they had more things to do than they thought they had time for. I'm working on this though.

Excellent, well I'm glad you are getting this..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Replies always help because they get me to think and see things differently. Even if I appear to be protesting, it's still forcing me to think and dig deep for my answers and see how other people perceive me that I can't see myself. If I didn't get something out of this, I wouldn't have this strong urge to keep coming back. My higher self wants this!!

I'm glad your getting a positive effect from them..

I'll still hold mine to 1 per work thread.. (with the rare exception )

(even I don't hold myself to my own rules.. sometimes! )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well, I wouldn't say it's a waste of time, I would just say that I'm already overloaded with personal development things, I have the latest installment of the Realization System to read, I have that Creating Change In Your Life ebook to finish (it's 200 pages long so it will take a few weeks), I have a book I got from Amazon called Creating Your Best Life, I have all the Bashar mp3s to listen to, I have the rest of Tony Robbins' Personal Power program (I'm almost halfway through now), I'm sure I'm forgetting some...hopefully I'll get to some of these tonight after I get caught up in here! This forum takes up a few hours of my day (I'm not complaining, I love posting in here), I'm just saying I can't listen to anything or read anything while I'm in here and it seems like I'm always behind!

Well, I think I"ll just keep you with a low amount of methods then.. less to keep you confused unless I think it will really work

I think the best method for you is the "workout thread" I hope to see a 100 posts in there by you.. for now I'd be satisfied with 5

I hope bashar's "permission slips" will help you.. it will teach you about the methods you allow to change you

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

If i'm perfect already right now, what would be my motivation to change? My higher self is obviously trying to get me on a different path (or I wouldn't be dissatisfied with this one), so if I'm so perfect why is it trying to change me? Why can't it just let my ego run the show, with all of it's limitations it's forcing on me? How can this be perfect? I'm not disagreeing with you here, I am just trying to figure out in what ways having my ego running my life is perfect.

Yes, but you are perfect.. your motivation to change is your "happiness"

I mean if you like your life the way it is..?? then you don't need "change" do you..??

All I'm saying to you is.. I see you as perfect, the angels see you as perfect, law of attraction sees you as perfect and deserving of everything you want.. and so does your Inner Self and your guides and your personal Angel

They all see you as perfect and there love is unconditional.. as is mine

It seems to be that it's you who doesn't like who you are.. and you're working on liking who you are and allowing yourself to experience your own power.. and that's what this journey is all about.. it's all about growth from HUGE depths to allowing yourself to feel good on a sunlit beach

You are a perfect being have a perfect existence.. if your EGO is causing you despair and misery.. look inside.. say "Hello" to your ego.. say "I love you ego"

"I know your trying to protect me" and I appreciate that! I really do.. but time to kick back a bit and let other parts of me work! And that's the secret to being more of yourself!

Does that help?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Of course I'm afraid, I won't argue with you there. I know I'm afraid of causing conflicts with my family (if I moved away), I'm afraid of being stuck and stranded somewhere with no one to help me (i'm talking about like if my car breaks down or if I run out of money to eat, not being stuck metaphorically ), I'm afraid of...well honestly those are the only two real fears I can identify right now, I mean it all boils down to those 2 things I think.

You know what.. your afraid to let go of the reigns/controls for your life.. via the EGO.. that's what your afraid of

And that's what all this testing is all about.. why you try something give it a go.. and then say it doesn't work.. and because you say it doesn't work.. you won't unlock your EGO from tight grip control of your reality

(except you are unlocking it somewhat.. your statements (above) show that.. good for you rockchick! )

And you're just going to have to work it one day at a time.. I remind you again.. to look at the "center of your head" exercises by my teacher.. by putting yourself in the control seat for your own brain and your own body..

[Acting Like Godot]

I was thinking about whether it's feasible to pursue 20 interests. To my surprise, I see that this could actually be possible and realistic.

A day has 24 hours. Assume you use 8 hours for sleep; and 8 hours for your non-interesting but necessary tasks. That leaves you with another 8 hours a day to pursue your interests.

Ignore Sundays. Let Sundays be rest days, buffer time, do-nothing time or whatever you want to call it. That would leave you with about 313 days in a year to pursue your interests.

So in a year you have 313 x 8 = 2504 hours, to pursue your interests.

With 20 interests, that works out to be about 125 hours per interest per year. That's quite a lot. It works out to be about 2.5 hours per week.

So let's say one of your interests is learning to play the guitar. You attend a one-hour class every week. You practise on your own for 30 minutes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. You keep this up, for an entire year (not bad, yah?). You would still be within your "quota".

And you can fit in 19 other activities, each requiring approximately the same time.

--------------------

So far I have assumed that all your interests are discrete and separate. But importantly, many of your interests are not. For example, you may be interested in tennis, and you may also be interested in fitness. Yet time spent playing tennis is also time spent getting fit.

So effectively you have "expanded" your available time. You do not need 2 hours to play tennis and another 2 hours to get fit. Instead, the time spent playing tennis goes simultaneously towards two interests.

Other examples of synergistic activities:

- you are interested in writing articles for eHow, and you are also interested in public speaking. You write an article for eHow discussing your ideas on how to be a better public speaker. The time spent writing this article goes simultaneously towards two interests.

- you are interested in photography and you are also interested in travel. You travel to another country, and you take plenty of pictures. The time spent on photography fits right into your travelling activities.

- you are interested in ancient history, and you are also interested in travel. You travel to a historic old city, and visit the monuments, the ruins, the ancient castles, the heritage sites etc. Again the time spent on the trip goes simultaneously towards two interests.

- you are interested in reading, and you are interested in meeting people & making new friends. You join a book club, attend literary readings, discuss and discover new books, meet other members, interact with them ... and fulfill two interests at one go.

---------------

If you find these synergies between your interests, then effectively the available time for each interest goes up. It may even be possible to discover synergies between three or more activities.

In practical terms, your available time for pursuing each activity could increase well above 125 hours per year; or way more than 2.5 hours a week. (And I'm still working on the assumption that you'll pursue 20 activities throughout one whole year).

So what do you guys think?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

HA! to support anyway...

No support what so ever.

When moving to Belgium, the friends and family here was all like "NOOOOOO you cannot go!! We will miss you!! We need you! What are you going to do there? You don't have a house, you don't have an income, you don't have friends....
Don't go!!

His dad even went as far as to say in an extremely passive aggressive way "if you go... we miss you. But I need you to come back when I have a heart attack to take care of your mother and brother"....

My parents.. well.. lets just say that support isn't in their main vocabulary. They think and truly feel that they are supporting me by pointing out all the things that can and will go wrong, no matter what I do.

Besides that they kind of hate (or strongly dislike) my husband so the fact that we would get married didn't go over well... actually, on my wedding day, my dad made a big drama in the morning because we didn't eat breakfast and then didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.... :S Nice day..

So support? HA!

Wow, that's interesting. But you did have support from your husband to move, right? I mean you weren't doing it alone. My dad hated my ex boyfriend too and when I got an apartment with him he freaked out, but I had no problem getting the apartment because I was doing it with someone. So I think I could move to another state if anyone else was doing it with me.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wow, that's interesting. But you did have support from your husband to move, right? I mean you weren't doing it alone. My dad hated my ex boyfriend too and when I got an apartment with him he freaked out, but I had no problem getting the apartment because I was doing it with someone. So I think I could move to another state if anyone else was doing it with me.

Well... at that moment in time my husband was incredibly depressed. He didn't make any decision, one way or another, nor did he help or even offer advise on doing anything!

At that moment I was completely alone for all intent and purpose.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

I hope bashar's "permission slips" will help you.. it will teach you about the methods you allow to change you

I'll move those up on my list and start them first, because all the other ones I've already started so I should at least get 1 or 2 of those listened to. Then I can do them all equally and I'll be able to tell which one is giving me the best results.

Yes, but you are perfect.. your motivation to change is your "happiness"

So someone can be perfect and still not be happy? Interesting!

It seems to be that it's you who doesn't like who you are.. and you're working on liking who you are and allowing yourself to experience your own power.. and that's what this journey is all about.. it's all about growth from HUGE depths to allowing yourself to feel good on a sunlit beach

I wouldn't say I don't like who I am, I just don't like how I am unable to take control of my life. Or maybe I should say, I don't like how I feel incapable of creating the ideal life I want. But I still like myself, I'm not going to go around saying I'm a loser or I'm unlovable or anything.

say "Hello" to your ego.. say "I love you ego"

"I know your trying to protect me" and I appreciate that! I really do.. but time to kick back a bit and let other parts of me work! And that's the secret to being more of yourself!

Does that help?

Yes, I am going to write that down on my note that I have under my pillow, that's worded in a way I can understand and I hope my ego will too! Thank you!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wow, that's interesting. But you did have support from your husband to move, right?

First time I went to Mexico I didn't know anybody. I went on a study exchange, and had to arrange everything alone.

When I met my husband, around Christmas I had to decide to either stay in the Netherlands after Christmas, or move back to Mexico to a guy that I really really liked, but only knew for less then 6 months.

Had to do that alone as well.. Especially since around that time we (my husband and me, who was only my bf at that time) were fighting a LOT because of the distance. My parents hated him and didn't want me to go...

So yes... alone that time as well... making that decision took less then a nano second as well... because it made me smile

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You know what.. your afraid to let go of the reigns/controls for your life.. via the EGO.. that's what your afraid of

And that's what all this testing is all about.. why you try something give it a go.. and then say it doesn't work.. and because you say it doesn't work.. you won't unlock your EGO from tight grip control of your reality

(except you are unlocking it somewhat.. your statements (above) show that.. good for you rockchick! )

And you're just going to have to work it one day at a time.. I remind you again.. to look at the "center of your head" exercises by my teacher.. by putting yourself in the control seat for your own brain and your own body..

Yes, you are right. If I let go of the reigns and let my spirit move me rather than my ego, I...wow, I can't even begin to imagine all the changes that would take place. I would be unrecognizable. Everything about my life would be completely different. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am afraid of that as much as I want it. It's a constant battle because what I want most is the same thing I fear most. I feel like I'm making a lot of headway now. At least I've identified the real problem here!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So someone can be perfect and still not be happy? Interesting!

You are perfect. You just forgot you are

And that is what you are doing right now. Remembering that you are perfect so you can model your life to your perfection (instead of the other way around, having a perfect life so you can become a perfect person)

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

I was thinking about whether it's feasible to pursue 20 interests. To my surprise, I see that this could actually be possible and realistic.

A day has 24 hours. Assume you use 8 hours for sleep; and 8 hours for your non-interesting but necessary tasks. That leaves you with another 8 hours a day to pursue your interests.

Ignore Sundays. Let Sundays be rest days, buffer time, do-nothing time or whatever you want to call it. That would leave you with about 313 days in a year to pursue your interests.

So in a year you have 313 x 8 = 2504 hours, to pursue your interests.

With 20 interests, that works out to be about 125 hours per interest per year. That's quite a lot. It works out to be about 2.5 hours per week.

But what about a job? I will eventually have to work. I might have to spend an hour or two a day just driving to work. And what about spending time with family and friends, or am I only allowed to do that on Sundays? Ok I think you were just showing me the best case scenario, if I don't get a job in the next year and I spend only Sundays with my family and friends (which could never work, but I'll roll with it for the sake of the discussion), Yes I could feasibly fit 20 things into a year.

And here comes my big BUT... ...

1. How would I afford all that, especially all at the same time, especially without a job? Even WITH a job, I still was only able to afford a vacation once every few years. I still was only able to drive 15 year old vehicles. I still was only able to have the cheapest of anything I could buy. And that was with making $14 an hour. (which to me is a lot)

2. How can I do all of them when some of them make it so I can't do others? (for example if I do the organic farm thing, I can't follow bands around on tour. If I go to school for anything, I can't travel. There are going to be sacrifices no matter what, if I choose anything. And i'm not saying that's a bad thing, just that it would stretch my time out to a few years, not just one.

I'm not trying to make up obstacles for the sake of it, I want to work with this plan and see how this could be possible, maybe over a 5 year period, which is actually what the Tony Robbins program is, a 5 year plan. Once I wrote it out that way, I saw that I could EASILY fit these into 5 years, probably even 3. But that was almost a year ago that started that and now I've added more things so I might be back to 5 years again. So now it's just figuring out how to pay for all of it.

I like this, I really think we're getting somewhere!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Well... at that moment in time my husband was incredibly depressed. He didn't make any decision, one way or another, nor did he help or even offer advise on doing anything!

At that moment I was completely alone for all intent and purpose.

You are a much stronger woman than I! How did you put your ego in check and listen to your heart?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

You are a much stronger woman than I! How did you put your ego in check and listen to your heart?

LOL

I am not strong at all... not at that time anyway.

I was tired. I felt a looser because I just lost a restaurant, was in debt (about what I could buy a nice house for), had a depressed husband who didn't do anything except playing xbox. I didn't do anything either. I got up in the morning. Went to watch tv. Sat in front of my computer. Watched some more tv. Got some food, whatever we could afford at that moment, which was mostly McDonalds.

The only difference between me then and you now is that for me the situation that I was in in the present was worse then anything it could be.

Jump before you can look (or think) can be a good thing at times.

For example, your organic farm thing... why not rent out your apartment, sublet it, a bit higher then what you pay, and just do it.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wow this sounds pretty cool...I especially liked when you said "I am not productive" because it makes you feel like crap about yourself and if you don't want that, it will give you motivation to change. I'll try it! I just thought of another thing too, along the same lines...you could imagine somebody that you look up to and respect and admire, and imagine them saying it to you. If Steve Pavlina said to me, "You are not productive" I would probably hop right off the couch and get to something, anything, as long as I was doing something!

Well the point isn't to feel like crap about yourself, I make it a point to be totally forgiving of myself as a prerequisite... the only thing that I have to do is to manage my thoughts and then I trust that LoA will "manifest" the results. Instead, there are 2 thought processes that usually kick in:

1) Defensiveness. Wait a minute, how can you say I'm not productive? Look at all this stuff I've done. You better believe I'm productive.

2) Visualization. How do I know I'm not productive? If I were productive what would that look like? Spend some time imagining myself as being productive.

And both of these patterns draw me towards greater productivity, instead of pushing it away.

Well if it's a place out of the country it would take around $1000 i'm guessing, and out of state a few hundred bucks, and if it's one in my state, I'd just need probably $50-$100 for gas to drive there. But the thing is, these programs only run for a short amount of time, some only want you for a few days, some a week, some a few months. So I would have to move around and find a new one when the other one is done. So that would mean coming up with a few hundred dollars or more maybe as often as every week. Egghhh this is sounding pretty hard now, how would I be able to get a job in all those places if i'm only there for a week or a month?

Oh, I thought you said you found one that was for 6 months. Yah, going for a week at a time could get pretty pricey.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But what about a job? I will eventually have to work.

Well:

- You could try it out for as long as you're not working. How long have you ALREADY been unemployed.

- You could also work in a job that centres around one or more of your interests (therefore every hour at work is an hour spent on those interests). Eg if you're interested in organic farming, you could work on an organic farm

- Non-interesting work could constitute part of the 8 hours per day set aside for non-interesting activities.

I might have to spend an hour or two a day just driving to work.

That goes into the eight hours set aside for non-interesting activities.

And what about spending time with family and friends, or am I only allowed to do that on Sundays? Ok I think you were just showing me the best case scenario,

I wasn't ... Best case scenario is that:

- one of your interests is "spending time with family and friends"; and

- when spending time with family and friends, you could simultaneously pursue your other interests too.

Eg your interest is cooking, so you try out new recipes when with your family, and have a meal together. Or your interest is French movies or badminton, so you go watch French movies or play badminton with your friends.

if I don't get a job in the next year and I spend only Sundays with my family and friends (which could never work, but I'll roll with it for the sake of the discussion), Yes I could feasibly fit 20 things into a year.

If you think about it, all of us already fit way more than 20 things into a year - it's just that we may not mentally classify all of those things as an "interest".

And here comes my big BUT... ...

1. How would I afford all that, especially all at the same time, especially without a job? Even WITH a job, I still was only able to afford a vacation once every few years. I still was only able to drive 15 year old vehicles. I still was only able to have the cheapest of anything I could buy. And that was with making $14 an hour. (which to me is a lot)

Oh good, you have no money to afford to pursue some of your interests.

That simplifies things. Let's say that out of 20 interests, there are 8 you can't afford. Now you have more time to pursue your remaining 12 interests. On average, your weekly time for each activity goes up from 2.5 hours to slightly over 4 hours.

You can't even say that you don't have time because you need to pursue the other eight interests. After all, you CAN'T pursue those other eight interests. So they cannot possibly be taking up your time.

2. How can I do all of them when some of them make it so I can't do others? (for example if I do the organic farm thing, I can't follow bands around on tour. If I go to school for anything, I can't travel. There are going to be sacrifices no matter what, if I choose anything.

Not really. In my model, I have determined that you have 125 hours per year per activity (based on 20 interests).

I have also assumed that you have to pursue all 20 interests, several times in a week, throughout the entire year.

The simple reality is that not all activities are equally time-consuming, and not all activities can or need to be done throughout the year. For example, you can't ski throughout the year; and you don't necessarily have to spend 125 hours per year on each activity (eg you could instead spend 100 hours on one activity and 150 hours on another activity). You probably can read and write for more than two hours at a stretch, but unless you're very fit, you probably cannot run continuously for more than 2 hours at a stretch.

So you have plenty of flexibility to juggle things around.

Eg you could work on an organic farm for six months a year, and follow a band for another 3 months. If you go to school, you can do other stuff during the holidays.

You are not "sacrificing" anything. After all, currently you don't seem to be doing much at all. So you are exchanging your "nothing" for "something". You are not sacrificing "something" for "something else".

[Acting Like Godot]

It looks pretty amazing to me - the number of enjoyable, interesting things a person can fit into his or her life (with some degree of planning, organisation and discipline, of course).

I am going to try this out for myself ... starting TODAY.

Bye guys!

[Acting Like Godot]

I'll keep you guys updated from time to time. Maybe in a separate thread.

[pyrogen]

Okay, I'm back...

Responding to this because I'm starting to see something here... you seem so much like me. I have in the past had trouble with finding a path in life because I have too many hobbies.

The first thing to do is find a way to decouple your income from your time, or find a way to work in something that is satisfying if you absolutely must work full time. My solution was to find work that I could do part-time only, in a field that satisfied at least a few of my needs (human contact, interest in science, problem solving). I work in the health field, which has very flexible hours. I figure that I can do anything for 20 hours a week or so. Later on, when I'm financially more independent and have passive income (read those threads) it'll be even easier.

Secondly, in your case, your health is so bad presently due to bad diet (I can recognize brainfog a mile away, it's all over your posts) that perhaps the organic farm setup would be the best. You'd be able to eat appropriately, and that should be the first priority. You'd have a chance to detox and clear your mind. You can do it for a year then go on tour. The problem is that we can't really have a conversation with the brainfog, and with the brainfog you are in no position to try to fix your life. You can't go to school with brainfog anyway and hope to succeed. And you can do online classes; anything is possible these days. If a Navy man could do courses while on a ship in the middle of the Indian Ocean, you can do the same while on an organic farm.

Third, this is where the 30 day trials and such come in. You don't need to do every hobby at once. You can try to rotate the hobbies. Why not do a thirty (or seven, if 30 is too daunting) day trial of narrowing your focus a little? I've taken time off from art to do music, for example, and sometimes take time off from music to do art. When I did art for a living, I did something else for my hobby.

You really might have ADHD. It's worth looking into. You don't really need to see anyone about it unless you want medicine, which you've indicated that you don't. If you do go to school, you can get this checked out at the school, most schools will do evaluation. I'm not medicated anymore and I'm coping... much better than before the dx. If all else fails, just google ADHD, you will pretty much know for youself if you have it or not, and read about the coping skills.

Before my ADHD was diagnosed, I had all kinds of circular thinking and negativity and all kinds of other issues. We really did used to be much the same.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

LOL

I am not strong at all... not at that time anyway.

I was tired. I felt a looser because I just lost a restaurant, was in debt (about what I could buy a nice house for), had a depressed husband who didn't do anything except playing xbox. I didn't do anything either. I got up in the morning. Went to watch tv. Sat in front of my computer. Watched some more tv. Got some food, whatever we could afford at that moment, which was mostly McDonalds.

The only difference between me then and you now is that for me the situation that I was in in the present was worse then anything it could be.

That's what I'm thinking too, that sounds pretty miserable to me. And right now my life is pretty awesome, it's just that it won't be this way much longer and that's why I have a ticking clock reminding me I have to make a decision soon!

For example, your organic farm thing... why not rent out your apartment, sublet it, a bit higher then what you pay, and just do it.

We can't sublet here, it's in the rules. I can't even have a new roommate come live in here with me. (It's only a one bedroom anyway). But I think I will live here as long as I possibly can and once I find out my unemployment money is for sure not coming in anymore, I will immediately put my 2 month notice in, and hope for the best. If I get a job in that time, then I would just move to a cheaper apartment. If I don't get a job in that time, I'll do the organic farm thing as long as I can. Or maybe I'll live at home for small amounts of time then go off and do another work exchange thing. They're not all farms, some of the programs have people who just want someone to live with them for free and do all the cooking! I could totally roll with that! That lady lives in San Franscisco though and I'd need a lot of money to fly there and back. That's the issue I have to work on next, how to pay for all these plane tickets every time I go off on a new work exchange! Unless I get an RV and drive to all of them! HEY now we're talkin'! Wow i'm on fire tonight!! I just had a major epiphany in the workout buddy thread so I'm on a roll now I guess!!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Well the point isn't to feel like crap about yourself, I make it a point to be totally forgiving of myself as a prerequisite... the only thing that I have to do is to manage my thoughts and then I trust that LoA will "manifest" the results. Instead, there are 2 thought processes that usually kick in:

1) Defensiveness. Wait a minute, how can you say I'm not productive? Look at all this stuff I've done. You better believe I'm productive.

2) Visualization. How do I know I'm not productive? If I were productive what would that look like? Spend some time imagining myself as being productive.

And both of these patterns draw me towards greater productivity, instead of pushing it away.

Oh yes, and I am good at defensiveness already, I shouldn't have a problem with that! I just meant that if someone points one of my flaws out to me, I will also think, 'ugh, I dont like that feeling of knowing i'm like that, I want to fix it', and prove to them they are wrong! I think this will work I'm so excited about this finally!

Oh, I thought you said you found one that was for 6 months. Yah, going for a week at a time could get pretty pricey.

Well the longest the organic farms go is 6 months, (or until September), you can join one anytime IF they have the accommodation for you but they say in order to guarantee a spot, you should sign up in April. But that's just for the farms, there are other programs that involve working at resorts, bed & breakfasts, people's homes, it's all involving doing some type of work in exchange for free rent and meals. And those go year round and I'm not sure on the length of stay for those, I think they vary with each place, whatever the owner wants.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I just had a major epiphany in the workout buddy thread so I'm on a roll now I guess!!

You are doing great. Just the change in language that you are using is amazing...

You will go places from here, don't worry about that

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Well:

- You could try it out for as long as you're not working. How long have you ALREADY been unemployed.

Well I've been unemployed for 14 months, but the thing is my money from the state runs out soon (either next week or in 2 months, I'm still unclear on that), so I was going to try harder to get a job NOW, because it's my last chance to get something before having to move back home. And if I have to do that, I won't have any money for even gas to drive to the store! If I do the work exchange thing I still need money to GET to them so I don't see how I'll be able to do anything at all, if I can't get a job.

Oh good, you have no money to afford to pursue some of your interests.

That simplifies things. Let's say that out of 20 interests, there are 8 you can't afford. Now you have more time to pursue your remaining 12 interests. On average, your weekly time for each activity goes up from 2.5 hours to slightly over 4 hours.

Of course it's easy for you to see this as a good thing, you're not the one having to give up 8 of your interests!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

Secondly, in your case, your health is so bad presently due to bad diet (I can recognize brainfog a mile away, it's all over your posts) that perhaps the organic farm setup would be the best. You'd be able to eat appropriately, and that should be the first priority. You'd have a chance to detox and clear your mind. You can do it for a year then go on tour. The problem is that we can't really have a conversation with the brainfog, and with the brainfog you are in no position to try to fix your life. You can't go to school with brainfog anyway and hope to succeed. And you can do online classes; anything is possible these days. If a Navy man could do courses while on a ship in the middle of the Indian Ocean, you can do the same while on an organic farm.

Wow I never realized my "brainfog" was that bad. How have I been able to get through life like this?! I never ate good my entire life, so how did I get through high school? How was I ever able to work? I never had these types of problems before. I am eating better NOW than I did my whole life. I think it's mostly due to analysis paralysis, and probably made worse by the fact that I mostly sit around all day on the computer. Maybe my brain is getting fried by the radiation! I also hardly ever get sunlight, I'm sure that doesn't help. I've been on the night schedule now for about 6 years, I suppose that isn't good either.

Third, this is where the 30 day trials and such come in. You don't need to do every hobby at once. You can try to rotate the hobbies. Why not do a thirty (or seven, if 30 is too daunting) day trial of narrowing your focus a little? I've taken time off from art to do music, for example, and sometimes take time off from music to do art. When I did art for a living, I did something else for my hobby.

This sounds like a good idea, and it will work for some of my interests. But I am not going to go into debt for something I'm only going to do for a week or 30 days. I really don't think any of my interests are free. Let me check my list...

Uh oh. Out of all the things I want to do, only ONE is completely free! And that's writing. See, most of my interests are things I can't just go out and do in my spare time or in a week, they're things that involve a few thousand dollars at least, MANY months, knowing the right people (which could take years), they're not just things I can "try on" for a 30 day trial. As I was looking at my list, I forgot one I added last year that I never talk about...stormchasing. And when I checked on the tours you can get on, I'm not exaggerating, they were $2000 give or take (depending on how professional you want to go...but when you're right next to a tornado you do NOT want to be with a bunch of amateurs! ) Boy if I suddenly won the lottery I would have the best 5 years of my life.

[quote]You really might have ADHD. It's worth looking into. You don't really need to see anyone about it unless you want medicine, which you've indicated that you don't. If you do go to school, you can get this checked out at the school, most schools will do evaluation. I'm not medicated anymore and I'm coping... much better than before the dx. If all else fails, just google ADHD, you will pretty much know for youself if you have it or not, and read about the coping skills.[quote]

Yeah I'm really curious. I'm gonna check right now so I can include it in this post...

• difficulty paying attention to details and tendency to make careless mistakes in school or other activities; producing work that is often messy and careless

This is not me at all, when I do things I am so careful about them being perfect, I have to plan it out so it's perfect!

• easily distracted by irrelevant stimuli and frequently interrupting ongoing tasks to attend to trivial noises or events that are usually ignored by others

Hmmm...trivial noises or events? I can't say that distracts me. I can often sit on the internet with the tv on and I couldn't tell you what they were talking about.

• inability to sustain attention on tasks or activities

I can't give full attention only if I have no interest in the task or activity, or if I'm bored and got what I wanted out of it. But doesn't everyone act like this sometimes?

• difficulty finishing schoolwork or paperwork or performing tasks that require concentration

I'm not sure if this is me either, sometimes I have the concentration of an eagle, it all depends on my level of interest.

• frequent shifts from one uncompleted activity to another

Ok this one is a big yes, I can see that! I'm surrounded by unfinished projects. But if I only had one interest, it wouldn't be this way.

• procrastination

*raises hand* But I think anyone who is lazy is a procrastinator, and being lazy is definately not a symptom of ADHD!

• disorganized work habits

This one could be yes or no, because even though all my stuff is just laying around wherever there is room for it, I have to be very organized when it comes to each project itself. I spent 3 hours the other day labeling pages in a notebook that I'm using as my food information book. I even printed out sticky paper that said "fruits" "vegetables" "pasta", etc. and stuck them on evenly spaced apart sections of the notebook (and yes I counted the pages so each section would have the same amount! ) Could I have a little OCD too?

• forgetfulness in daily activities (for example, missing appointments, forgetting to bring lunch)

Forget lunch!? If that ever happened that means I'm sick. I NEVER forget plans either, I write them on my calendar the minute I make them.

• failure to complete tasks such as homework or chores

I wouldn't say I fail to do my chores, I just procrastinate doing them. But it's a funny thing about chores though, once I start those, I don't stop until I'm done.

• frequent shifts in conversation, not listening to others, not keeping one's mind on conversations, and not following details or rules of activities in social situations

Eh, no, I'm not like this at all. I listen to others more than I do anything else because I'm so quiet. And I have never had any problems following rules.

• having difficulty playing quietly or engaging in quiet leisure activities

I love being quiet. Nobody ever knows I'm here.

• being always on the go

Ehh, no, I prefer to have ONE thing to do each day and the first part of my day I have to prepare for that thing and then afterwards unwind from that thing. I HATE when I have more than 3 things to do in a day. This is probably not good for someone who is trying to squeeze 20 interests into a year! Wow, actually this is pretty important information that I should keep in mind. If I hate having so much to do in a day, and I like quietness and being alone most of my day, I'm not going to do too well if I ever have to have more than one job.

• often talking excessively

Couldn't be more unlike me. I TYPE excessively though!

Well, I'm gonna say I don't have enough of the symptoms, what do you guys think?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

You are doing great. Just the change in language that you are using is amazing...

You will go places from here, don't worry about that

Thanks! But I'll warn everyone, I can go up and down pretty quickly. In fact now I'm a bit down on the fact that only 1 of my interests I can do for free, so if I end up back at my moms house with no job, I won't be able to do anything but write. And knowing me, I'll feel like I'm missing out on all the other things, and I'll get sick of writing because I'll feel forced to do it.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

It looks pretty amazing to me - the number of enjoyable, interesting things a person can fit into his or her life (with some degree of planning, organisation and discipline, of course).

I am going to try this out for myself ... starting TODAY.

Bye guys!

I've done it my self...on my entrepreneurial journey, best thing I EVER did!!! It's been a really fun ride.

Ps - People that say you need lots of money to find you passion...it's baloney. The great thing about finding your passion, especially when desperate, is that you really do follow the saying "if there is a will there is a way". You become more creative when finding solution to things on a low budget.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

I've done it my self...on my entrepreneurial journey, best thing I EVER did!!! It's been a really fun ride.

Ps - People that say you need lots of money to find you passion...it's baloney. The great thing about finding your passion, especially when desperate, is that you really do follow the saying "if there is a will there is a way". You become more creative when finding solution to things on a low budget.

Glad it worked so well for you! And I hope you're right about getting more creative to find a way...I'm getting to the point now where I honestly think finding a rich man and marrying him is my only option!

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Glad it worked so well for you! And I hope you're right about getting more creative to find a way...I'm getting to the point now where I honestly think finding a rich man and marrying him is my only option!

Well unfortunately it sounds like you close to hitting rock-bottom, due to the fact that you hoped everything would work itself out. It's probably hard to work on things now, in the state you are in. I'm assuming you're probably quite worried and stressed with your situation. I personally would just move in with your mum get the crappiest job out there (tell yourself it's only short-term), make some money, give yourself time to find yourself and then invest time and money in finding out about all things that interest you.

Ps- I'm pretty sure I have ADD, and I still managed to find things I enjoy. I just do things a little diffrently to the norm.

[wolfgang]

what's the deal with that organic farm community?

is that just a pipe dream or a real possibility?
assuming you could get there, is it a done deal?

list only all the ways it could work and be a cool thing to do.

if you think, but I have no way to get there - say maybe I can hitchhike or car pool or they can pick me up or I can leave my appt. which gives me the money to get there or any brain storming idea of how you could get there.

if you say, but I'll miss my family - say that will be ok since I can email or talk on the phone and it will be fun to talk about what I'm doing on the farm.

if you say, but this isn't exactly what I want to do and I'll miss some other opportunity - say I am attracted to this organic farming idea a lot and it may led to other cool opportunities/connections with like minded people.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So back then I just dreamed, and now I'm trying to learn how to go from dreaming to taking action. After dreaming for 18 years it's just hard to do anything else.

alright!

By reflection you mean thinking, or what exactly? Because I think ALL THE TIME ...contemplation, isn't that pretty much the same thing? I am alwas contemplating what to do. It's the meditation part I can't get down because I think too much!

Three ways to end conditioning (middle of page 58)
Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting ... - Google Books

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Thanks! But I'll warn everyone, I can go up and down pretty quickly. In fact now I'm a bit down on the fact that only 1 of my interests I can do for free, so if I end up back at my moms house with no job, I won't be able to do anything but write. And knowing me, I'll feel like I'm missing out on all the other things, and I'll get sick of writing because I'll feel forced to do it.

I understand getting down easily again. But don't worry.. if you get down easily, you also get up easily!

I'm pretty sure that most of your other activities can be done without money as well. Maybe not exactly the way you want them to be done, but as a start at least!

First off, you are saying you are not getting a lot of sunlight... I would say to make it your first step to go out every single day and be in the sun for an hour or so. If you combine it with taking a walk, it means that you are also getting some exercise and some meditation time

3 for the price of 1.

You have no idea how much my mood has changed, just by moving to Mexico and having more sun and being more in the sun daily... I understand that that isn't an option for you now But you can start by taking long daily walks...

Even if the sun isn't shining 50% of the UVB still filters through.. so a cloudy day, week or year isn't an excuse to not do it

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by ssandra

First off, you are saying you are not getting a lot of sunlight... I would say to make it your first step to go out every single day and be in the sun for an hour or so. If you combine it with taking a walk, it means that you are also getting some exercise and some meditation time

3 for the price of 1.

yeah what she said.