Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[pyrogen]

If this were any other period in history I probably would have gotten something by now. It's a crappy time to be looking for work.

Makes such a wonderful excuse, doesn't it. You already have a fallback reason for failure. I'd say you're very prepared to fail.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Rockchick,

Did you ever try my negative affirmations technique?

Negative affirmations

For me it has been a valuable tool at learning to direct my thoughts towards my desires. I started feeling positive results almost immediately and it's been an upward spiral from there. I haven't solved all my problems of course, but I've been using this technique for almost 2 years to manage the worst of my negativity... and these days I am consistently feeling better, stronger, and more motivated than when I began.

Wow this sounds pretty cool...I especially liked when you said "I am not productive" because it makes you feel like crap about yourself and if you don't want that, it will give you motivation to change. I'll try it! I just thought of another thing too, along the same lines...you could imagine somebody that you look up to and respect and admire, and imagine them saying it to you. If Steve Pavlina said to me, "You are not productive" I would probably hop right off the couch and get to something, anything, as long as I was doing something!

I think you should go live on the farm, you can always visit your nephew and send him mail. Do you want to be the depressed aunt who can't get her life together or the inspiring aunt who goes after her dreams? Take care of yourself first, and you will be a bigger blessing to those you love.

Well he's only 4, he won't be able to read for a few years But coming back to visit would cost a few hundred dollars (going by the average airfare). Some of the places I want to go are in other countries so then you're talking $1000 or more. And you don't get paid at most of these places so, it's pretty much impossible unless I can somehow work a normal job in my spare time while I'm there. I guess I could try that! I'm really noticing how my mind is finding new ways to work through things, I think listening to that hypnosis thing is really helping. One of the things that he says is "Your brain will find new creative ways to overcome obstacles." Last night, I was so proud of myself, I made a list of each option and then I did the PMI decision maker (plus, minus, interesting) and I couldn't believe it but for my least favorite option (moving back home) I came up with 6 pluses!! But, on the flip side, I also came up with 5 minuses and those were ALL things that I felt 100% strongly about, so the pluses didn't hold a candle to them. BUT, I did come up with 4 other options and some of those are very do-able. So I'm working on my plan and I think it's all going to be ok no matter what happens!

Also, I dived back into my "Refuse To Choose" book and decided to try the exercises again (because obviously the first time they didn't work), so i'm hoping I have better luck this time, it's been a year since I read that book so maybe I've grown enough since then that it'll finally kick in now!

How much money would you need to get there?

Well if it's a place out of the country it would take around $1000 i'm guessing, and out of state a few hundred bucks, and if it's one in my state, I'd just need probably $50-$100 for gas to drive there. But the thing is, these programs only run for a short amount of time, some only want you for a few days, some a week, some a few months. So I would have to move around and find a new one when the other one is done. So that would mean coming up with a few hundred dollars or more maybe as often as every week. Egghhh this is sounding pretty hard now, how would I be able to get a job in all those places if i'm only there for a week or a month?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Angela

You ARE being controlled; someone DID install a program in your mind that has you automatically reacting, rather than freely choosing.

That someone was you.

For years here you have been speculating about finding something outside yourself that will effect change in yourself (in your negative habitual thought patterns) and there's always, every time, a "good" reason that it won't work. And you're right -- nothing outside yourself -- nothing that costs money, or that you have to hire someone for, or that someone will give you -- is going to make any significant difference.

The only one who can reprogram you is you. And it takes dynamic willingness -- not just this flimsy, wimpy ("but I really do WANT it!") wishing and hoping crap that you've been floomping around with for years, but actually choosing change, and being the cause of it in your life.

I don't see you doing that, though. I predict you will say, "I don't know HOW to choose change and be the cause of it in my life! I need to find something OUT THERE that will help me figure out how to choose!" (The Chicken Opera of Change. )

Which is very much like standing in front of someone offering you either chocolate or vanilla ice cream, and your saying, "I don't know HOW to choose between chocolate and vanilla!!! " (the Chicken Opera of Ice Cream.)

You choose by choosing.

I understand your analogy, but choosing between chocolate or vanilla isn't even in the same league as choosing what career to do for the rest of your life. I don't even have problems choosing between what flavor ice cream I want!

Actually, I think the only outside thing that costs money that can help me is some type of holistic healing. I found a place the other day where you can get all kinds of stuff done (hypnosis, energy modalities, healing ceremonies) so I'm going to look into that. The people that have these things done say they changed their lives and made their problems just vanish.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I understand your analogy, but choosing between chocolate or vanilla isn't even in the same league as choosing what career to do for the rest of your life. I don't even have problems choosing between what flavor ice cream I want!

It's exactly the same league. The league of life. You choose, and if you don't like the results of your choice, you choose again, this time with the learnings you (hopefully) got out of your prior choice.

Unsuccessful people just choose not to choose -- to flail around reacting to what happens. And they tend to get stuck with the yucky flavors.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

it becomes a decision. which is more important. although sometimes satisfying other people for their sake only is no good for yourself.

Well that's the issue, they're both EQUALLY important. And sticking around to keep my family happy wouldn't just benefit them, I don't want to live hundreds of miles away from them either, at least not on a regular basis.

maybe having too many things on your plate is a way of not actually knowing what you want in a different way. instead of saying "I don't know" you can be all over the place and pick lots of "cool" stuff you want in your life without much discrimination (i.e. not knowing what you want).

You mean I am making all this stuff up just to be able to say "I have too many options"? I don't think I can create interest in something if it isn't genuine. I know I have no interest in the medical field, or engines or archaeology, I REALLY do have a genuine interest in all the things I'm interested in!

however you got out of drinking and smoking is how to get going with what you really want to do in life, perhaps.

Well half the reason I quit those things was because I didn't have the money anymore, so that doesn't count. And the other half was because I started to want to become as healthy as I could (also partly because I have no health insurance so it was the best way I knew how to avoid getting sick).

something shifted or you decided that something was important to focus on and you convinced yourself enough that you didn't have to make a to do list for "not drinking or smoking".

Those things were just easy for me to quit because I wasn't addicted to either one. I really had no choice but to quit, because I had to start cutting things out of my budget after I got laid off. I was also really into keeping myself healthy. Now I am into getting my mind healthy and that's MUCH harder than the body!

In other words, there is probably never going to be a perfect goal or some technique to get you off your butt to get it done. It's always just putting in the time until the new thing or thinking becomes the new normal.

Yes, this is exactly it. And right away I know that's where I can't quite commit myself, the "putting in the time" part. It's so easy to try something once but it isn't a habit yet so if you don't get results, there's nothing keeping you to stick to it. I think if I had a job it would be much easier though, because right now I feel like I have so much time, I can always do things later, and that's why I let myself get caught up on the internet so much. I got more done back when I was working than I am unemployed! But then again, when I was working I wasn't doing much soul searching either, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't quit my job anyway. So back then I just dreamed, and now I'm trying to learn how to go from dreaming to taking action. After dreaming for 18 years it's just hard to do anything else.

The habitual conditioned mind will do what it does until we program it differently. The only way to program it differently is to do the new thinking or activity. I also think reflection, contemplation and meditation unhooks the conditioned mind and then it's easier or there's less resistance to getting off your butt. However, this is also something that might not be a habit - reflection, contemplation and meditation. In which case you'd have to convince yourself that deciding and prioritizing these thing to spend time on is worthwhile. I imagine there's a way to motivate yourself without too much will power - it's just deciding and convincing yourself and not feeding the excuses.

By reflection you mean thinking, or what exactly? Because I think ALL THE TIME ...contemplation, isn't that pretty much the same thing? I am alwas contemplating what to do. It's the meditation part I can't get down because I think too much!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

But that's another mistake which you habitually make, in different forms.

The reason for picking something that doesn't work 100% of the time is that at least it works 50%, or 70% or 90% of the time. That's still infinitely better than doing nothing, a decision that will yield you 0%.

To put it another way -

1. you could have 20 interests and go nowhere with any of them; or

2. you could have 5 interests and go somewhere with each of them; or

3. you could have 1 interest and go a very long way with it.

It's debatable whether (2) or (3) is preferable, but what's clear is that both (2) and (3) are superior to (1).

Unfortunately it sounds like you're consistently choosing (1). In your search for the "best" possible option, you consistently end up picking the worst possible option.

I would love to be able to choose 2 or 3, but I can't control how many interests I have, I can't make myself lose interest in 15 things so I only have 5 left. I will always have at least 20 (and probably more if the universe leads me to them! ) But I understand what you're saying, I am still choosing to do nothing (so far). I'm hoping I can stick to the exercises in the Refuse To Choose book and hopefully they'll work for me this time. I should say, hopefully I can get them to work for me!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

If this were any other period in history I probably would have gotten something by now. It's a crappy time to be looking for work.

Makes such a wonderful excuse, doesn't it. You already have a fallback reason for failure. I'd say you're very prepared to fail.

But it's true! I'm not making this up, here: Why this is the worst recession, not a depression - Mar. 25, 2009

How can something be called an excuse when it's a fact and it's affecting everyone? (Even people who have jobs, it affects them too because they are cutting down on employees everywhere so those remaining have to do more)

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Angela

It's exactly the same league. The league of life. You choose, and if you don't like the results of your choice, you choose again, this time with the learnings you (hopefully) got out of your prior choice.

Unsuccessful people just choose not to choose -- to flail around reacting to what happens. And they tend to get stuck with the yucky flavors.

I understand it's still a matter of choice, I get that, but everyone will agree some choices require more thinking. Would you choose to quit your job and move to another country in the same time it takes you to decide if you want pepperoni or sausage on your pizza?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I understand it's still a matter of choice, I get that, but everyone will agree some choices require more thinking. Would you choose to quit your job and move to another country in the same time it takes you to decide if you want pepperoni or sausage on your pizza?

I did

I spend about 30 minutes thinking about moving from Mexico to Belgium

I spend about 5 minutes thinking about moving back to Mexico from Belgium.

It happens A LOT to me that I don't know what to eat and spend hours (since the morning) thinking about what to eat without making a decision

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But it's true! I'm not making this up, here: Why this is the worst recession, not a depression - Mar. 25, 2009

How can something be called an excuse when it's a fact and it's affecting everyone? (Even people who have jobs, it affects them too because they are cutting down on employees everywhere so those remaining have to do more)

Sometime in the past month, Demand Studios automatically took on as contracted writers everybody who had, I think, published at least 20 articles at eHow with a certain acceptance percentage rate. They didn't even have to apply.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I did

I spend about 30 minutes thinking about moving from Mexico to Belgium

I spend about 5 minutes thinking about moving back to Mexico from Belgium.

It happens A LOT to me that I don't know what to eat and spend hours (since the morning) thinking about what to eat without making a decision

Wait, you were just thinking about it, or were you actually deciding? I didn't mean just thinking about it, I can think about something for 5 minutes too, but I mean actually going from being presented with the idea to coming to a decision if youre going to do it or not.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Sometime in the past month, Demand Studios automatically took on as contracted writers everybody who had, I think, published at least 20 articles at eHow with a certain acceptance percentage rate. They didn't even have to apply.

I'm a member of eHow.com, so I knew about that. But i've only written one article for them. In my true fashion, I tried something once and couldn't get myself to do it again. I have been disheartened by writing lately, just like I was with music, and I can't figure out why. It takes all the fun out of it when I HAVE to do it, I think.

But those are not replacements for real jobs, most people on those sites only get a few dollars a month. That's how I found out about them by talking to people who were on them but it's just extra income, not enough to live off.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wait, you were just thinking about it, or were you actually deciding? I didn't mean just thinking about it, I can think about something for 5 minutes too, but I mean actually going from being presented with the idea to coming to a decision if youre going to do it or not.

From presenting the opportunity, to thinking, to talking about it, to making a decision... in 5 minutes or less

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm a member of eHow.com, so I knew about that. But i've only written one article for them. In my true fashion, I tried something once and couldn't get myself to do it again. I have been disheartened by writing lately, just like I was with music, and I can't figure out why. It takes all the fun out of it when I HAVE to do it, I think.

But those are not replacements for real jobs, most people on those sites only get a few dollars a month. That's how I found out about them by talking to people who were on them but it's just extra income, not enough to live off.

Whether or not it was "fun," what Demand Studios has offered these writers is actual steady income. Not just a few dollars a month. And those people didn't even have to fill out an application.

But wait -- that couldn't happen in today's economy

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Would you choose to quit your job and move to another country in the same time it takes you to decide if you want pepperoni or sausage on your pizza?

What you're not seeing is that even though you have not yet made a choice, you are already making a choice.

If you take 5 years to decide whether you want to move from Italy to Brazil, what's happening is that you are deciding to stay for at least 5 years in Italy.

Same thing with the rest of your life. For example, currently, you have decided:

(a) to stay unemployed
(b) to not write for eHow
(c) to not have a career
(d) to not see the doctor
(e) to not change your diet
(f) to not live on that organic farm
(g) to stagnate on your various interests
(h) to deal with your father in the way that you are dealing with your father
Etc.

As long as you stay passive on those things and allow the status quo to remain, you are effectively deciding to stay committed to those decisions.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

From presenting the opportunity, to thinking, to talking about it, to making a decision... in 5 minutes or less

Are you serious?! Just like that? Do you have any kids or anyone you are living with or a job you have to quit?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Whether or not it was "fun," what Demand Studios has offered these writers is actual steady income. Not just a few dollars a month. And those people didn't even have to fill out an application.

I'm confused, because when I was doing my research on all these writing sites, NONE of them paid you a steady income, you have to have a lot of articles that are all earning income in order to get paid. They don't pay you just to join, you have to write stuff. I have one article on eHow and I haven't earned a cent from it yet. Imagine how hard you have to work just to get a penny!

But wait -- that couldn't happen in today's economy

I'm not saying people CAN'T get jobs in this economy, just that it's harder and it's even harder still if you can't out-experience the other 100 people applying for the job.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I know it sounds silly for an unemployed person to not have enough time, but I can't explain it, how I have literally about 20 or 30 things that I have to do or want to do in, things are laying around cluttering up my apartment, until I can get to them, I don't understand it either. I do sit on the internet most of the day but I'm behind even on things I need to do on HERE! I guess it's just that if there is open time, it will be filled. Since I lack meaning and direction in my life, it gets filled with whatever I feel like doing at that moment. And my social calendar is always full too, I usually have plans 5 days out of 7. I know there is honestly no excuse for me not doing these exercises, wait a minute, I HAVE done a few of them a few times, why am I not getting any credit for that!? I have done them as much as I've done my own ideas, so I'm not even favoring my own over yours, I just can't stick to anything that doesn't prove itself rewarding. I gave up on my music website, I started it and couldn't finish it. I gave up on the recording studio "job". I gave up on learning how to play piano and guitar. I could write a book about all the things I started and quit.

Perhaps that's the theme of your life.. start something and give up..?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes, that is perspective. I understand that. And someone else in my situation might see it as a blessing or a miracle rather than a problem, I understand that completely. I just can't relate this story to what we were talking about how my past experience showed me LoA didn't work for me. In this example you are talking about 2 different people, but in my situation, I'm the same person. So unless some drastically radical shift happened in the last few months, I can't see how I would perceive the whole experience in a different way. (Unless, of course, it works this time! )

It doesn't have to be 2 different people.. it can be the same people..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

*thinks* What have I manifested, I guess you could count the fact that I lost my job, because I hated that job and secretly wished I didn't have to work there anymore. I don't know why it took 18 years for it to happen though. Ugh that makes me worried it'll take me 18 years to find one I like!

Trust that you know what you're doing! Even when you don't know what you're doing!

I don't really know why I'm sitting right now in a hotel at st. louis.. not really.. but at the same time.. I do trust the greater part of me that there's a plan.. and that plan is being enacted..

That's the type of thing you need to be actualizing right in the now?

Do you believe that there's a bigger part of yourself, rockchick?

One that loves you unconditionally.. as is rooting you on..? Do you believe that.. or is that fantasy to you?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes, I do have many many glimpses of optimism, every single time i discover a new hobby or interest I want to persue. Then I just add it to my ever growing list of things that overwhelm me because I don't know how I can ever do them all. That is probably why I sit on the computer as much as I do because it allows me to explore anything I want without having to risk a thing.

This is all EGO rockchick.. nothing more..

It's your EGO in part that invalidates them.. you seem to be just running yourself in a loop, a program of disbelief.. that anything can work for you.. you need to see that it can work.. that you can improve.. and there's "no harm" in trying anything over and over again.. even if it has 0 discernable effect..

Only your EGO would ever think "try to do them all" "growing list of things that overwhelm"

You know it probably is your EGO that is your #1 problem, rockchick.. and you have to get that EGO on board with what you want to do.. until you do.. your EGO runs you and the show.. and that show (repeat the movie "nothing works for me")

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't know if you saw my latest post or not, but I added a paragraph about what I did today.

Yep, I noticed I just said that one doesn't count

I probably going to trade you 1 reply per 1 workout post Because I don't think these reply's are helping sometimes..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

That would only make things worse, I can't relax when I'm talking to people, especially on the phone since I have a phobia about that. Anytime somebody is around me I can't fully relax and anytime I'm on the phone I have to pace the floor. I actually have a path, I walk through the kitchen, into the livingroom, go around through the kitchen again, in circles, until I'm off the phone. I dont know why, it's just this nervous thing I do because I hate talking on the phone and if I try to sit still I'll start to feel agitated like I need to burn off some energy (probably stress from being nervous). Want to hear something really wierd but is probably too much information for some people? (I am about to get a little gross here) I physically can't go to the bathroom (#2) unless I'm alone. If I live with someone, I can't do it until they leave or go to bed. I can't do it when i'm on vacation, at other people's houses, it just doesn't happen. One time I went to CA for 7 days, I couldn't go the entire time, until I got home, because I was with my friend the whole time. I also could hardly sleep. I only sleep about 1 hour anytime I'm staying in a hotel with somebody or sleeping at someone's house. Sorry I got a little long winded there but I just had to explain my strange inability to relax anytime I'm around someone or talking on the phone to them!

I understand what you're talking about.. maybe it's time to experiment and see if you can change those patterns..

"Unique Challenges" like that can't be good long term.. (even if you've been having them long term..) if you want to experiment with a phone call.. I'm game.. we can just leave the line open (have a speakerphone?) say nothing.. and do our respective things till your ready to try something..

I hope it's not going to be that way at your parents house.. if that's where your going to end up in a few months

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is interesting you mention shifting realities just like that, because I actually thought of doing this to see if it would work; Writing a story of my perfect life, from beginning to end, like a novel, and then see if my current life starts shifting to that life. I got the idea actually from my favorite show, Lost, right now there are 2 realities and they are starting to merge together, and I thought hey that could be a fun way to create my new life, just pretend I'm on the show and I have a whole different reality and it's about to merge with the current one!

Yep, this actually works according to bashar.. I can give you his method for this if you want it's simple.. but given how hard it is for you to get everything else to work.. giving you another method you won't use/nor practice may be a waste of time

I'm also planning on giving "lost" a watch again.. when it's over.. (see if it can hold my interest)

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Really?! I was never like that After my dad would yell at me, I'd be afraid to go near him for the rest of the day and I slowly started to want to be around him less and less. I've noticed the same behavior in my nephew, he's 4, and my brother/his dad is really strict with him and is always yelling at him, and the poor kid doesn't ever talk to him and when its time to go home, he cries and resists as much as he can. I think my brother is raising him the same way we were raised, always yelling at us about what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That is so not good for a kid!

Well, I didn't say it was every kid.. I'm careful with my words if you don't notice

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But everyone has flaws, you can't deny that. Humans are not perfect or we would have heaven on Earth right now. I think it's a great sign of strength to be able to admit your flaws.

No, actually were perfect! Period! We are perfect!

Now, that might seem odd from your perspective.. but I assure you it's true.. we are a perfect act of creation and of ourselves.. sure there's room for improvement but we are perfect the way we are now..

We don't miss-create anything in existence.. it all has purpose, merit and huge hints of love in it.. we created the ideas of disconnection and in your case getting so swamped up with everything else you lose focus..

Heaven is already here on earth.. you just have to open your eyes.. stop being a afraid.. and recognize heaven!

Stop letting your EGO shout limitations at you.. "no, I can't be happy" "No, I can't go outside" "No, I can't go to the bathroom.. I hate people!"

There are no flaws rockchick.. even though you have many "unique challenges" you are still a perfect being having a perfect existence.. creation is not a random act.. we didn't design wiper blades, rotary phones, algae for *no reason* everything has a purpose to it.. your not different..

All I've ever tried to say to you rockchick.. is wouldn't life be great if you were a little happier?

And that's what all this text from is about.. you being happy.. you not having to be afraid to go the bathroom with strangers.. you getting out there and exploring the world even if you hide in your hotel room and chat with strangers/play games

You wanna know what I think?

(and this may not be the truth)

I think your in fear mode.. you've been there for a while.. and I think your letting your EGO run the show for you.. and because the EGO doesn't know how to be happy! (it just doesn't.. it's not in it's programming.. safe is in it's programming.. HAPPY is not)

Your stuck.. and so the best you can do is bide your time for the point where you will create your "magic key" (pill is the word you used) and unlock yourself.. but I think to unlock yourself is going to require more steps then your willing to take.. so it's like you dash out (dart around like a ninja) your about to grab that "key" to unlock yourself.. then you hear a noise someone is coming.. you dart back into the bushes.. and you do this day in day out.. doesn't matter if it's "abraham" "bashar" "alg" or whoever..

Your going to run to the bushes like a scarred animal every time because you love your misery! Or at least your EGO does.. it just won't take a chance of releasing you from your own chains..

This is just food for thought.. I could be wrong.. and I don't pretend to be right!

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

You don't need the LOA.

I do and don't agree with you.. I think rockchick needs a empowering experience that she can re-create again and again to show she's the creator of her reality.. that doesn't necessarily require the LOA.. but the loa would be a bonus..

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm confused, because when I was doing my research on all these writing sites, NONE of them paid you a steady income, you have to have a lot of articles that are all earning income in order to get paid. They don't pay you just to join, you have to write stuff. I have one article on eHow and I haven't earned a cent from it yet. Imagine how hard you have to work just to get a penny!



I'm not saying people CAN'T get jobs in this economy, just that it's harder and it's even harder still if you can't out-experience the other 100 people applying for the job.

You need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not another new age self help book

The Top 10 Types of “Stinkin’ Thinkin’” | Psych Central

Stinkin' thinkin'

Meanwhile, peace out

I'm manifesting a job for myself and need to avoid negative influences

I'm doing my work... you do yours

Good luck to you.

[ssandra]

In Mexico, when we left, we didn't have a job. But going to Belgium we didn't have a job either and my husband didn't speak Dutch and didn't have a visa.

Plus we had to get married to be there... We did have family, lots of friends and great opportunities here in Mexico... My husband is very close to his family, not just parents and brother but also cousins and stuff.

Going back to Mexico; I had a part time job and my own company and my husband had a good job. We also had a cat (that came with us ) and my family is in the Netherlands (neighbor of Belgium).

What I do, is: I make a decision. I think, how does it feel having made this decision? Does it make me smile? Yes, then it was the right decision.

No? Does it make me feel nervous, anxious etc? Ok, I'll try on the other decision... and go back to the other one, until I hit the one that makes me smile. That is my decision. It is not rational. I don't know all the answers yet probably, but I'll figure them out. For the moment, my decision is made

Usually doesn't take longer then a few minutes. Except when it comes to food... I'm weird about food

I would do the same if I had a child btw. It is good for a child to know decisions can be made, and different options present themselves all the time.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Are you serious?! Just like that? Do you have any kids or anyone you are living with or a job you have to quit?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

What you're not seeing is that even though you have not yet made a choice, you are already making a choice.

If you take 5 years to decide whether you want to move from Italy to Brazil, what's happening is that you are deciding to stay for at least 5 years in Italy.

Same thing with the rest of your life. For example, currently, you have decided:

(a) to stay unemployed
(b) to not write for eHow
(c) to not have a career
(d) to not see the doctor
(e) to not change your diet
(f) to not live on that organic farm
(g) to stagnate on your various interests
(h) to deal with your father in the way that you are dealing with your father
Etc.

As long as you stay passive on those things and allow the status quo to remain, you are effectively deciding to stay committed to those decisions.

I'm tempted to go through each of those things and show you how I'm not choosing them. But I wonder if you would even accept them. Actually, I have to do this because I checked again and some of these I HAVE done.

I am applying for jobs every week, how is that choosing to remain unemployed? I even accepted a temporary part time job that I HATED because it was all I could get.

I did write for eHow, one article...but I felt I was not an expert in anything else. You are writing articles about how to do things, and after seeing all my posts in this forum, do you think I know how to do anything? (other than going to concerts, which is what my article was about). Everything else I know about, I am not an expert on.

And how can you see a doctor when you don't have insurance or money to pay out of pocket? I suppose I could check dating sites for men who are doctors and get them to date me and give me a free checkup

I HAVE changed my diet, 3 or 4 years ago I started incorporating healthier foods into my diet, actually the last 3 times I've been to the store I've bought all organic natural foods. I just said that I can't always afford to go grocery shopping so then I have to take what people give me. But as far as when I CAN go, what I CHOOSE to buy is 100% organic and healthy.

I haven't chosen not to do the organic farm thing yet, I'm still throwing around my options. It's always an option to do it anytime so until I choose to do something else instead, I haven't chosen not to do it. I actually can't do it right now anyway because in order to move out I have to give my 2 month notice.

As far as my interests, I am learning whatever I can without spending money I don't have. When I can, I will definately explore them further.

About my dad, again it comes down to the alternative having equal consequences as what I am currently choosing. As soon as one choice looks better, I'll take it.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Perhaps that's the theme of your life.. start something and give up..?

That is probably right. There is even a name for this in Barbara Sher's Refuse To Choose book. Actually most of the types of scanners (the name for people like me) have this trait. But "giving up" isn't the right phrase here, it's Duration/Reward. She uses the example of a honeybee. Bees go around to different flowers, they spend different amounts of time in each one, sometimes 5 seconds, sometimes 5 minutes. But they always stay ONLY until they have gotten the reward. Or in human terms, we only stay until we had enough, learned what we wanted to learn, got bored, satisfied our curiosity, whatever. It's natural to learn and grow and be curious so I'm glad I'm like this rather than not giving a crap about anything and drowning myself in video games.

Do you believe that there's a bigger part of yourself, rockchick?

One that loves you unconditionally.. as is rooting you on..? Do you believe that.. or is that fantasy to you?

Well of course I do, I know there is a bigger part of all of us. I have been trying to get in touch with that bigger part of me, I've even started writing notes to my subconsious and my ego I just feel some type of blockage there, like I'm not interpreting the messages right or something is in the way of me getting them.

Only your EGO would ever think "try to do them all" "growing list of things that overwhelm"

I'm still getting used to the ego being something completely different than what I have believed for the last 37 years I've never met a person who didnt get overwhelmed when they had more things to do than they thought they had time for. I'm working on this though.

I probably going to trade you 1 reply per 1 workout post Because I don't think these reply's are helping sometimes..

Replies always help because they get me to think and see things differently. Even if I appear to be protesting, it's still forcing me to think and dig deep for my answers and see how other people perceive me that I can't see myself. If I didn't get something out of this, I wouldn't have this strong urge to keep coming back. My higher self wants this!!

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm confused, because when I was doing my research on all these writing sites, NONE of them paid you a steady income, you have to have a lot of articles that are all earning income in order to get paid. They don't pay you just to join, you have to write stuff. I have one article on eHow and I haven't earned a cent from it yet. Imagine how hard you have to work just to get a penny!

If you had 20 articles on eHow, Demand Studios would have offered you contract work with a regular steady income. This is my whole point. Instead of being proactive and publishing two articles a month over the past year, you listed a pile of excuses why you decided to choose not to do so. But it's the people who decided to go ahead and do some writing who eventually were offered regular work. They put something of value out into the world and they got something back.

Now . . . what's your next opportunity that you're saying "I can't because . . . " to -- when instead you can grab that chance and show the world that you've got what it takes?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

I hope it's not going to be that way at your parents house.. if that's where your going to end up in a few months

What I would do when I used to live there was wait until everyone was in bed or left the house. Well, not that I had a choice in waiting, that's just when it happened, after I was finally "alone" and everything was quiet. I wonder if this has to do with my introvertedness, because I literally feel frazzled if i'm around a lot of people and when I hop in my car to go home, I feel a really huge feeling of peace wash over me, like I finally am alone and I finally can do whatever I want now and it's quiet and peaceful. I read about this in a book about introversion so I am just assuming that's what it is because I fit the description to a T.

Yep, this actually works according to bashar.. I can give you his method for this if you want it's simple.. but given how hard it is for you to get everything else to work.. giving you another method you won't use/nor practice may be a waste of time

Well, I wouldn't say it's a waste of time, I would just say that I'm already overloaded with personal development things, I have the latest installment of the Realization System to read, I have that Creating Change In Your Life ebook to finish (it's 200 pages long so it will take a few weeks), I have a book I got from Amazon called Creating Your Best Life, I have all the Bashar mp3s to listen to, I have the rest of Tony Robbins' Personal Power program (I'm almost halfway through now), I'm sure I'm forgetting some...hopefully I'll get to some of these tonight after I get caught up in here! This forum takes up a few hours of my day (I'm not complaining, I love posting in here), I'm just saying I can't listen to anything or read anything while I'm in here and it seems like I'm always behind!

I'm also planning on giving "lost" a watch again.. when it's over.. (see if it can hold my interest)

Oh you should! It's the best show ever, I think. The series finale is only a month away, after it's over I plan on watching it all again because it will be a whole different experience seeing it when you know all the answers!

No, actually were perfect! Period! We are perfect!

Now, that might seem odd from your perspective.. but I assure you it's true.. we are a perfect act of creation and of ourselves.. sure there's room for improvement but we are perfect the way we are now..

If i'm perfect already right now, what would be my motivation to change? My higher self is obviously trying to get me on a different path (or I wouldn't be dissatisfied with this one), so if I'm so perfect why is it trying to change me? Why can't it just let my ego run the show, with all of it's limitations it's forcing on me? How can this be perfect? I'm not disagreeing with you here, I am just trying to figure out in what ways having my ego running my life is perfect.

You wanna know what I think?

(and this may not be the truth)

I think your in fear mode.. you've been there for a while.. and I think your letting your EGO run the show for you.. and because the EGO doesn't know how to be happy! (it just doesn't.. it's not in it's programming.. safe is in it's programming.. HAPPY is not)

Your stuck.. and so the best you can do is bide your time for the point where you will create your "magic key" (pill is the word you used) and unlock yourself.. but I think to unlock yourself is going to require more steps then your willing to take.. so it's like you dash out (dart around like a ninja) your about to grab that "key" to unlock yourself.. then you hear a noise someone is coming.. you dart back into the bushes.. and you do this day in day out.. doesn't matter if it's "abraham" "bashar" "alg" or whoever..

Your going to run to the bushes like a scarred animal every time because you love your misery! Or at least your EGO does.. it just won't take a chance of releasing you from your own chains..

This is just food for thought.. I could be wrong.. and I don't pretend to be right!

Of course I'm afraid, I won't argue with you there. I know I'm afraid of causing conflicts with my family (if I moved away), I'm afraid of being stuck and stranded somewhere with no one to help me (i'm talking about like if my car breaks down or if I run out of money to eat, not being stuck metaphorically ), I'm afraid of...well honestly those are the only two real fears I can identify right now, I mean it all boils down to those 2 things I think.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

You need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not another new age self help book

The Top 10 Types of “Stinkin’ Thinkin’” | Psych Central

Stinkin' thinkin'

Meanwhile, peace out

I'm manifesting a job for myself and need to avoid negative influences

I'm doing my work... you do yours

Good luck to you.

I think I do need some type of therapy too, I no longer think the problem is that I just haven't found the right self improvement exercise or read the right information.

That site is pretty cool...I think everyone does those things. I learned about a lot of those from my self esteem workbook, I have noticed changes in those areas for sure.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

In Mexico, when we left, we didn't have a job. But going to Belgium we didn't have a job either and my husband didn't speak Dutch and didn't have a visa.

Plus we had to get married to be there... We did have family, lots of friends and great opportunities here in Mexico... My husband is very close to his family, not just parents and brother but also cousins and stuff.

Going back to Mexico; I had a part time job and my own company and my husband had a good job. We also had a cat (that came with us ) and my family is in the Netherlands (neighbor of Belgium).

What I do, is: I make a decision. I think, how does it feel having made this decision? Does it make me smile? Yes, then it was the right decision.

No? Does it make me feel nervous, anxious etc? Ok, I'll try on the other decision... and go back to the other one, until I hit the one that makes me smile. That is my decision. It is not rational. I don't know all the answers yet probably, but I'll figure them out. For the moment, my decision is made

Usually doesn't take longer then a few minutes. Except when it comes to food... I'm weird about food

I would do the same if I had a child btw. It is good for a child to know decisions can be made, and different options present themselves all the time.

It sounds like you had a lot of support (husband, family in the Netherlands)...I've read that if you have support for your goal, you can achieve it much easier. That is a big part of my dilemma because it's me against everyone. If any one person in my family were to say, "I feel like moving to another state." I would jump for joy and start looking for a job in that state. Even if it was just my best friend. I just need that support and right now I am really facing this alone. Wow. I just imagined ALL of my options I want to do, and I imagined doing them with my friend or my family, or at least having them tell me to go for it, and I would immediately do any of them without hesitation!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

If you had 20 articles on eHow, Demand Studios would have offered you contract work with a regular steady income. This is my whole point. Instead of being proactive and publishing two articles a month over the past year, you listed a pile of excuses why you decided to choose not to do so. But it's the people who decided to go ahead and do some writing who eventually were offered regular work. They put something of value out into the world and they got something back.

Now . . . what's your next opportunity that you're saying "I can't because . . . " to -- when instead you can grab that chance and show the world that you've got what it takes?

Oh I didn't read the fine print, I didn't know if you had 20 articles you get a steady income...I suppose this offer isn't open for those who don't have 20 yet? I am going to check the rules again and see if it's not too late.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

But that's another mistake which you habitually make, in different forms.

The reason for picking something that doesn't work 100% of the time is that at least it works 50%, or 70% or 90% of the time. That's still infinitely better than doing nothing, a decision that will yield you 0%.

To put it another way -

1. you could have 20 interests and go nowhere with any of them; or

2. you could have 5 interests and go somewhere with each of them; or

3. you could have 1 interest and go a very long way with it.

It's debatable whether (2) or (3) is preferable, but what's clear is that both (2) and (3) are superior to (1).

Unfortunately it sounds like you're consistently choosing (1). In your search for the "best" possible option, you consistently end up picking the worst possible option.

I came up with my own analogy for all my ideas the other day, imagine yourself in a shooting range, at first when you're starting out you will miss the target, but eventually if keep shooting you will hit the target. So just keep on firing!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It sounds like you had a lot of support (husband, family in the Netherlands)...I've read that if you have support for your goal, you can achieve it much easier. That is a big part of my dilemma because it's me against everyone. If any one person in my family were to say, "I feel like moving to another state." I would jump for joy and start looking for a job in that state. Even if it was just my best friend. I just need that support and right now I am really facing this alone. Wow. I just imagined ALL of my options I want to do, and I imagined doing them with my friend or my family, or at least having them tell me to go for it, and I would immediately do any of them without hesitation!

HA! to support anyway...

No support what so ever.

When moving to Belgium, the friends and family here was all like "NOOOOOO you cannot go!! We will miss you!! We need you! What are you going to do there? You don't have a house, you don't have an income, you don't have friends....
Don't go!!

His dad even went as far as to say in an extremely passive aggressive way "if you go... we miss you. But I need you to come back when I have a heart attack to take care of your mother and brother"....

My parents.. well.. lets just say that support isn't in their main vocabulary. They think and truly feel that they are supporting me by pointing out all the things that can and will go wrong, no matter what I do.

Besides that they kind of hate (or strongly dislike) my husband so the fact that we would get married didn't go over well... actually, on my wedding day, my dad made a big drama in the morning because we didn't eat breakfast and then didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.... :S Nice day..

So support? HA!