Rockchick thread and.. "nothing works for me"!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

The only reason you can't.. is cause you say you can't..

Well sure, I COULD have stopped what I was doing and tried the exercises for a minute or two, but I guess I have more of a one track mind when it comes to things I have to do...if I have to go out for dinner with people, my entire focus is on getting ready to leave and getting there on time. I wouldn't stop to take my garbage out any more than I would stop and do a meditation exercise. It's kinda contradictory how I say I multitask but then I can't squeeze little things in between the big things...but my multitasking is usually limited to my recreational activities, not major plans for the day centering around other people.

Okay, it's good to know you have manifestation experience.. what we want to focus on is things that are NOT important to you right now.. I'm sure you'd rather go for important.. (ask away if you want) but I think focus on things you believe you could have or not have and it "doesn't matter" would be fine for now..

But I HAVE tried manifesting small unimportant things before and never had any luck. Sure I can try it again now but my experience tells me this doesn't work so i'm kinda going at it half-heartedly, which I know is wrong but I can't help it.

This is the holodeck

Holodeck

I'm a bit confused ( what else is new!?)...so this thing is going to be a real physical thing like a big room that creates all this stuff? It was a lot to read so I only skimmed certain parts.

Ohh, indeed we should create you a co-creation thread.. I would like to know that you’re taking time out for spiritual "workouts" study first

I am afraid to say it but today I didn't get any done either. I know you don't accept my excuses but they involve not being home for most of the day, cooking dinner for 1 hour, and arguing with my dad for half an hour. (Just when I said we have been getting along, THAT had to happen! ) And right now I'm still upset about that so I can't relax.

Let's pretend that it always works for you.. even if that isn't true.. adopting the mindset of a positive person.. may mean some people will call you "crazy" Let e'm call you crazy.. after all who cares what they think!

I wouldn't care if people thought I was crazy if I was always positive...I actually have had people think i'm wierd because I was never in a bad mood at work, I was always smiling and friendly and I never got angry. But back to what you were saying...how do you pretend something works when it doesn't? I think this is the part I will have the most trouble with, looking at it as if it is giving me results. Because I don't know how to fool myself into thinking something is true when it isn't. Actually I don't believe LoA isn't true, I'm just saying my manifestations are not coming true.

Here's another exercise try to read and try to do.. go to the mirror.. and say I like me.. "say it 50 times" do your best to mean it.. because I know deep down.. you do like you! (and I'm not trying to say otherwise )

Stop rationalizing (hint here.. this is EGO) your behavior.. start becoming "spiritual" just say to yourself.. that everything you said above is the old you.. and like a caterpillar your changing into a butterfly..

I mean read the above statements back to yourself.. do you like what your hearing about yourself?

No, I don't like what I'm hearing, but I do like myself. I did exercises like that one when I bought this self esteem workbook a few years ago. I can't see this as a self esteem problem though. I often feel like I like myself more than most people like themselves. I just don't feel like that's related to my "unique challenges" I'm having. And I can like myself and still not be happy with my laziness and my indecisiveness and my social awkwardness, I like myself despite my flaws. Everyone has flaws anyway so it's stupid to not like yourself or anyone because of their flaws.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

Remember, rockchick this is your EGO talking..

Apparently everything I say is my ego! I don't know how to tell the difference and I don't know how to fix it.

I differ.. we can absolutely quit and don't feel like you have to play if you don't want too..! Life is choice..

If you have to play do you want to play as "life sucks" "poor me" "this is no fun" or as "I love this" "this is so exciting" "if I could feel this good everyday!" ????

I honestly have all those thoughts, both good and bad. I was having a great day earlier because I was out and about, doing stuff, but then the argument with my dad happened and I'm just thinking too much about all this and I'm starting to feel like it's hopeless again. I wish I could turn my brain off. All of a sudden I feel like it's all crashing down on me again (probably because of my dad), I just want to get away from this and I can't!

Many of us don't leave our friends/family cause were scarred too.. fear is a huge element here.. and you need to acknowledge like everyone you have great fears of self and others.. releasing those is knowing your power..

Tell me rockchick.. one day will you know your power?

I don't have a problem admitting i'm scared, I've done that many times. So where is my power then?

A little more action and a little less talking will get you there
Turn off that EGO of yours.. or just tell it to be "spiritual" and let the spiritual self in..

I did "say" something to my ego last night laying in bed, I told it something like 'get out of the way'...but is it really that easy? I obviously don't notice a difference today.

You've already manifested, yes.. you had close calls?? Seen your potential boyfriends name everywhere..

Even if your EGO can't make sense of why that happened? So you validate that your creating your reality in part.. now let go.. of having to control and understand it all..

Well I do remember saying it happened because of me, so that is validating it (right?) but I just saw no point in it if it didn't bring me the actual thing (in that case, the guy I wanted). I can validate all I want that I created these syncronicities but I still saw no point in them if they weren't the real thing.

I have more to say on this.. so I'll say it here.. you need to take a ACTIVE part in this and I think you be reading these threads at the end of your day! Yes?

Well move that to the middle or beginning of your day.. so you can read something inspiring (preferably ) and go do a workout!

The reason why I don't come in here right away at the beginning of my day is because I do the important stuff first (check emails, job hunt) and if I have somewhere to go, I sometimes don't get back online until right before bed. Most days I am gone for a few hours at least, at some point, which pushes my recreational/fun activities back to later, if I get to them at all.

[ssandra]

One thing that seemed to have helped me (along with some other stuff that was going on) is that one night I made a decision to not allow negativity in my life anymore.

I asked / told my spirit guides, guardian angels, higher self, ego, everyone:

"From now on, I do not accept negativity in my life anymore. I am ready for a positive life!"

Of course I didn't wake up the next morning to find out I won the lottery and all my "real world" problems were gone

But, every time something happened that normally I would meet with negativity (feeling bad, feeling depressed), instead I met with first neutrality and later happiness and optimism.

How it works, if it is just the power of suggestion or really spirit guides and the rest of the team helping me, I don't know and I don't care It works, that's what matters

Somebody really smart in these areas told me once that to tell your unconscious something you need at least 21 days...

So, if you want to try it, every night before you go to sleep say out loud:

Everybody out there to help me, spirit guides etc: From now on no more negativity allowed in my life. I am ready for a positive life!

Of course, change the words so they feel good for you.

Don't expect any change. Just say the words and don't worry about them for the rest. Just do this for 21 days (I mean... it will take you less then 5 seconds.. nothing lost even if you have nothing gained).

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well sure, I COULD have stopped what I was doing and tried the exercises for a minute or two, but I guess I have more of a one track mind when it comes to things I have to do...if I have to go out for dinner with people, my entire focus is on getting ready to leave and getting there on time. I wouldn't stop to take my garbage out any more than I would stop and do a meditation exercise. It's kinda contradictory how I say I multitask but then I can't squeeze little things in between the big things...but my multitasking is usually limited to my recreational activities, not major plans for the day centering around other people.

You can be defensive and say it any way you want..

But I know and you know.. if you’re a smoker and your going out to dinner.. you’re going to take that 5 minutes for that drag of a cigarette.. or if your body says it's thirsty you’re going to take that minute to drink water.. or if the phone rings etc. on and on..

You can make time for this.. just say "I will do my best to make time and remember during my ultra busy unemployed day"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But I HAVE tried manifesting small unimportant things before and never had any luck. Sure I can try it again now but my experience tells me this doesn't work so i'm kinda going at it half-heartedly, which I know is wrong but I can't help it.

Does experience dictate reality?

Going to throw out a small example for you all right.. let's take 2 people out there.. and there exactly identical (twins, if you will) but 1 is happy and 1 is very unhappy..

Both of them go for a weekend (alone to the very same hotel) both get nearly identical rooms..

1 comes away from that weekend thinking it was awesome.. I loved my room, I loved my shower, I met some really nice people, the town was great and wow what awesome things I bought via shopping..

1 comes away from that weekend thinking it was terrible.. I hated my room (smelled of mildew), I found dead cockroaches in my shower! , the manager was horrible to me as was that waitress! the town had nothing to offer me in total.. tourist trap! I bought some used deck of cards at the flea market.. there was just nothing good going on there.. had a terrible time!

Do you understand what I'm trying to say.. when I wrote these out!

Your attitude directly effects how reality is created for you.. no joke.. it may seem stupid and silly to say to you be delusionally happy!

But that can really help you.. really

Rockchick, if experience dictated reality.. every time we went to a certain hotel or bought this brand of computer or watched this movie (that everyone said was terrible) but that you thought was wonderful.. well, it'd be sucky here..

Each of us is a unique individual and every aspect of reality has something to offer us

So just cause you tried the LOA and it didn't work and you expect that it will work that way again.. well that idea isn't serving you..

My god.. did you watch this movie.. everyone said it was terrible.. obviously it turns out you like "Twilight: New Moon" the whole experience dictates reality model will be proved FALSE

Remember, rockchick you've already told me you manifested.. why can't you just say to yourself.. sometimes my manifestations have worked sometimes they haven't.. nothing wrong with that.. I'm going to keep trying..

I know you have glimpses of optimism in you.. rockchick.. let the optimist/positive person in you shine.. and by god.. stop making me write so many brilliant texts and practice some damn tools!

Here's what I'm going to do.. no response from me past this last one.. until you have a post in the "workout" thread showing you've WORKED out..

If I spend about a 1/2 to a hour of my time responding to you.. I can only guess you do as well.. where's the 1/2 hour or hour worth of actual spiritual change enabled?

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm a bit confused (what else is new!?)...so this thing is going to be a real physical thing like a big room that creates all this stuff? It was a lot to read so I only skimmed certain parts.

You do ask some good questions though.. when you want too

No to clarify here's my understanding of how it might happen..

I integrate so much of my teachers/knowledge or light at my own pace that in a way I ascend (disappear) from the earth and land in a place where I can create in the now.. that's my educated guess what will happen.. I didn't say “it would”..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am afraid to say it but today I didn't get any done either. I know you don't accept my excuses but they involve not being home for most of the day, cooking dinner for 1 hour, and arguing with my dad for half an hour. (Just when I said we have been getting along, THAT had to happen! ) And right now I'm still upset about that so I can't relax.

What you couldn't have tried grounding..? see if that relaxes you.. throw those emotions and thoughts down that hole?

Let me honest rockchick.. I'm about at the point where I think to get you to do things (spiritual) it's going to take a phone call.. like I as your coach have to sit there and watch you do the pushups.. and guess what I've stood up here and said I would do that.. I would sit on a phone call with you and do some "guided meditations" yes.. I would

But I've stated what I'm going to do.. no more "enabling" of this behavior (ignoring) till you have 1 post of things you tried on the workout thread..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I wouldn't care if people thought I was crazy if I was always positive...I actually have had people think i'm wierd because I was never in a bad mood at work, I was always smiling and friendly and I never got angry. But back to what you were saying...how do you pretend something works when it doesn't? I think this is the part I will have the most trouble with, looking at it as if it is giving me results. Because I don't know how to fool myself into thinking something is true when it isn't. Actually I don't believe LoA isn't true, I'm just saying my manifestations are not coming true.

I didn't say this was easy.. but I'm just telling you if you believe "everyone likes you" they will.. if you believe you’re a famous rockstar with 22 mansions.. you will create that.. as long as that's a belief..

How you get to that stage/belief.. don't ask me.. I believe myself to be a master at spiritual abilities and teachings.. how am I doing?

You can be a actor okay rockchick?

You were a child once.. you could pretend you were a "firefighter" a "actor" a "whatever" play the part.. walk around your soon to be vacant apartment and say "hello, rothchild my butler.. I'll take my tea in the study this evening " validate that you create in the now that your thoughts are real and it is possible to shift realities just like that <finger snap>

Just be easy on yourself.. be playful.. keyword here.. try and ask yourself in a situation.. what would a child do here? what would a child feel here?

Children don't let their dad yelling at them shake them up if there in their place.. there dad could tell them how bad they were dragging dirt into the house.. but in 2 minutes later there right back to playing "cops and robbers"

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

No, I don't like what I'm hearing, but I do like myself. I did exercises like that one when I bought this self esteem workbook a few years ago. I can't see this as a self esteem problem though. I often feel like I like myself more than most people like themselves. I just don't feel like that's related to my "unique challenges" I'm having. And I can like myself and still not be happy with my laziness and my indecisiveness and my social awkwardness, I like myself despite my flaws. Everyone has flaws anyway so it's stupid to not like yourself or anyone because of their flaws.

This is my simple understanding.. when you point out yours flaws..

You are saying "I don't like myself" and it's as simple as that.. if you could see it from my perspective this once.. you would see that a lot of the issues we have on the planet are all about "self love" and "self worth"

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Apparently everything I say is my ego! I don't know how to tell the difference and I don't know how to fix it.

I've told you about some of the tools to change the ego.. just haven't heard you practice any of them..

Also there's nothing to fix.. love yourself, love your ego and say please change with me.. pretty, please with flowers and chocolate gew and hershey's kiss's on top.. please, change with me? <bat some eye lashes>

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I honestly have all those thoughts, both good and bad. I was having a great day earlier because I was out and about, doing stuff, but then the argument with my dad happened and I'm just thinking too much about all this and I'm starting to feel like it's hopeless again. I wish I could turn my brain off. All of a sudden I feel like it's all crashing down on me again (probably because of my dad), I just want to get away from this and I can't!

Put up the rose.. (hell, put up the rose every time your with your family) it makes a seperation of your energy and there's..

Or say bashar's favorite phrase.. "circumstances don't matter, only my state of being matters"

Wouldn't it be great rockchick.. if you could be walking around and or just be hanging out with family and they come to you.. (like they did today) and they said.. "I have this problem with myself" and you could say to them.. I understand and that sucks for you "but I'm not taking on your problem" in other words..

Wouldn't it be great if you could have been with your dad today and he could have said his spiel.. and you wouldn't have gotten down because of it?

Because that's what were trying to do for you.. if we could ever get you to practice those tools!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't have a problem admitting i'm scared, I've done that many times. So where is my power then?

The thing is if you know what I know

Then you know.. that were all the same being.. yes.. "the one is all and the all are one" that is a phrase from my teacher... so that means no matter who is scaring you.. doesn't matter what it is..

Hitler, freddy krueger, under the bed doesn't matter.. it's all you.. under that premise.. what's there to be afraid off??

The worst thing you can think of RIGHT now.. is you.. doesn't matter what it is.. I'm you.. the computer is you.. the internet is you.. a pixel is you everything is you..

So if you can elleviate that fear with ideas like..

- Death isn't such a bad things
- Everything is me..?? what's to be scarred of??

Then under this idea/philosophy or truth you can begin to lessen that fear.. all of the fear you have comes from the EGO.. tell your ego there's nothing under the bed but you.. cause it's true!

Tell your ego you are capable of being without your family.. doesn't mean you choose that.. but you could do it.. cause you know you could!

Tell your ego since everythig is you that everyone is family! Cause they are.. not a random person you meet on the street is not part of our family.. for everyone is you.. and you are they

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I did "say" something to my ego last night laying in bed, I told it something like 'get out of the way'...but is it really that easy? I obviously don't notice a difference today.

Sounds a bit mean.. be respectful if you can.. try "shut down" "turn off, please" "thanks for your input but I don't desire it right now"

Yes, it's that easy.. validate yourself when you do it.. (that you have the power to command/control your body) don't make it into a big thing.. note I've done it tons of times.. doesn't mean it's always off/listens

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well I do remember saying it happened because of me, so that is validating it (right?) but I just saw no point in it if it didn't bring me the actual thing (in that case, the guy I wanted).

That is your ego making a "judgment" about it not working/being bad.. (yes, you validated it.. and then you shoot it down with a loaded machine gun with the statement "there was no point" )

Validate it as showing you that you have power.. see there's no loaded machine gun here? Just cause you didn't get what you want.. validate that you got something!

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

The reason why I don't come in here right away at the beginning of my day is because I do the important stuff first (check emails, job hunt) and if I have somewhere to go, I sometimes don't get back online until right before bed. Most days I am gone for a few hours at least, at some point, which pushes my recreational/fun activities back to later, if I get to them at all.

How many consecutive days of job hunting have you had where the emails/whatever has panned out..?? I'm going to make a guess and I'm not trying to be mean.. but I'm guessing very little.. I'm sure you've made some progress..

But I tell you that this work can make your job hunt easier?

Make your life more fullfilled and happier?

And then you tell me.. this is not that important.. it's leasure.. oh.. alright whatever you say..

(your story/excuse reminds me a lot of what my sister jessie said to me about yellowstone.. it's the exact same subject/idea to me)

Rockchick, we can't do much if you don't have the time to practice the tools.. because you and I both know the information isn't working.. (it is and it isn't ) we need the tools and that practice to get you there.. so let's start seeing you post at least once a day in the workout thread.. not where you wrote something to me (which by the WAY this is spiritual work.. don't get me wrong.. this helps you.. but that you spent 20 minutes trying this method.. or 30 minutes trying this method)

This is no joke.. I will call you (assuming you have a #) and go through a guided meditaton with you on the phone.. if I know you'd listen and try with me.. maybe you need a workout buddy who's a bit like a paid gym instructor.. luckily you don't have to pay me.. I accept "thanks you's"

Go ahead and reply if you want too.. but remember no reply from me without a “workout” statement in the workout thread.. (you can always lie if you want too )

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

One thing that seemed to have helped me (along with some other stuff that was going on) is that one night I made a decision to not allow negativity in my life anymore.

I asked / told my spirit guides, guardian angels, higher self, ego, everyone:

"From now on, I do not accept negativity in my life anymore. I am ready for a positive life!"

Of course I didn't wake up the next morning to find out I won the lottery and all my "real world" problems were gone

But, every time something happened that normally I would meet with negativity (feeling bad, feeling depressed), instead I met with first neutrality and later happiness and optimism.

How it works, if it is just the power of suggestion or really spirit guides and the rest of the team helping me, I don't know and I don't care It works, that's what matters

Somebody really smart in these areas told me once that to tell your unconscious something you need at least 21 days...

So, if you want to try it, every night before you go to sleep say out loud:

Everybody out there to help me, spirit guides etc: From now on no more negativity allowed in my life. I am ready for a positive life!

Of course, change the words so they feel good for you.

Don't expect any change. Just say the words and don't worry about them for the rest. Just do this for 21 days (I mean... it will take you less then 5 seconds.. nothing lost even if you have nothing gained).

I really need to do that especially after the argument with my dad today. I got off the phone feeling like I could punch something and the feeling stayed with me for about an hour. It's incredible how toxic negative people can affect you so much. I need to do this and it better work because I'm nearing the end of my rope with him (Of course I've been saying that for 20 years, so my track record pretty much shows that I'm all talk, no action )

This sounds similar to the phrase "Every day in every way, I am getting better and better." This is what the Silva Mind Control System and the Realization System both suggest. And I've been doing it as I fall asleep for about the last 2 weeks. It's so hard not to expect results though, because that is why we do these things in the first place. I wouldn't keep going to a job if they weren't paying me. So, I'll try this, I'll add that to what I've already been saying, and see what happens. Like you said, you have nothing to lose!

[Lauxa]

Hey Rockchick, I first want to tell you that I like having you around. You're a mirror-buddy for me, you're often going through some of the same stuff I am but with a different twist and projected onto another person.

For instance, I am having relationship trouble now, not with my dad but with a friend that I have been telling myself I have almost reached the end of my rope with for over a year now. Every time I picture him I just see myself smashing his face in. And using this excuse I have stayed up till all hours of the morn distracting myself with lame TV and forums, instead of moving forward on my powerful new plan to Improve My Life.

I use whatever techniques I can to focus on the positive and visualize my desires and I do think it helps. As for what is your ego and how to fix it, here is my theory:

Your desires come from your ego. By thinking about and visualizing your desires, you are using the most powerful thought process available to you to make these desires a reality. This should make your ego happy, but your ego identifies with all the negative thought processes it habitually uses and so it resists the new techniques. By consistently practicing positive thinking, the ego eventually re-identifies with this and the conflict is healed.

I don't usually have good success telling voices in my head to shut up, I usually have to deflect them with a positive thought.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by themaster

You can make time for this..just say "I will do my best to make time and remember during my ultra busy unemployed day"

I know it sounds silly for an unemployed person to not have enough time, but I can't explain it, how I have literally about 20 or 30 things that I have to do or want to do in, things are laying around cluttering up my apartment, until I can get to them, I don't understand it either. I do sit on the internet most of the day but I'm behind even on things I need to do on HERE! I guess it's just that if there is open time, it will be filled. Since I lack meaning and direction in my life, it gets filled with whatever I feel like doing at that moment. And my social calendar is always full too, I usually have plans 5 days out of 7. I know there is honestly no excuse for me not doing these exercises, wait a minute, I HAVE done a few of them a few times, why am I not getting any credit for that!? I have done them as much as I've done my own ideas, so I'm not even favoring my own over yours, I just can't stick to anything that doesn't prove itself rewarding. I gave up on my music website, I started it and couldn't finish it. I gave up on the recording studio "job". I gave up on learning how to play piano and guitar. I could write a book about all the things I started and quit.

Going to throw out a small example for you all right. let's take 2 people out there. and there exactly identical (twins, if you will) but 1 is happy and 1 is very unhappy.

Both of them go for a weekend (to the very same hotel) both get nearly identical rooms.

1 comes away from that weekend thinking it was awesome. I loved my room, I loved my shower, I met some really nice people, the town was great and wow what awesome things I bought via shopping.

1 comes away from that weekend thinking it was terrible. I hated my room (smelled of mildew), I found dead cockroaches in my shower! the manager was horrible to me as was that waitress! the town had nothing to offer me in total. tourist trap! I bought some used deck of cards at the flea market. there was just nothing good going on there. had a terrible time!

Do you understand what I'm trying to say.. when I wrote these out!

Yes, that is perspective. I understand that. And someone else in my situation might see it as a blessing or a miracle rather than a problem, I understand that completely. I just can't relate this story to what we were talking about how my past experience showed me LoA didn't work for me. In this example you are talking about 2 different people, but in my situation, I'm the same person. So unless some drastically radical shift happened in the last few months, I can't see how I would perceive the whole experience in a different way. (Unless, of course, it works this time! )

So just cause you tried the LOA and it didn't work and you expect that it will work that way again. well that idea isn't serving you.

I know the idea isn't serving me, probably half the things I do, think and believe don't serve me. And that's why I'm here because I dont know how to change that. Usually something major has to happen, or a great deal of time has to pass, in order for someone to change. I've changed in many ways, but they were all gradual changes that took place over time, or they took place naturally because my environment changed, my life situation changed. Those things change me more than I have changed myself willingly. So I guess you could say I can adapt to outside changes but I haven't been able to create it myself. I'm a reactive changer not a proactive one!

Remember, rockchick you've already told me you manifested. why can't you just say to yourself.. sometimes my manifestations have worked sometimes they haven't. nothing wrong with that. I'm going to keep trying.

*thinks* What have I manifested, I guess you could count the fact that I lost my job, because I hated that job and secretly wished I didn't have to work there anymore. I don't know why it took 18 years for it to happen though. Ugh that makes me worried it'll take me 18 years to find one I like!

Other than that I really don't know what else I've manifested, are you remembering more things than I can? Help me out here!

I know you have glimpses of optimism in you..rockchick. let the optimist/positive person in you shine. and by god. stop making me write so many brilliant texts and practice some damn tools!

Yes, I do have many many glimpses of optimism, every single time i discover a new hobby or interest I want to persue. Then I just add it to my ever growing list of things that overwhelm me because I don't know how I can ever do them all. That is probably why I sit on the computer as much as I do because it allows me to explore anything I want without having to risk a thing.

Here's what I'm going to do. no response from me past this last one. until you have a post in the "workout" thread showing you've WORKED out..

If I spend about a 1/2 to a hour of my time responding to you. I can only guess you do as well. where's the 1/2 hour or hour worth of actual spiritual change enabled?

I don't know if you saw my latest post or not, but I added a paragraph about what I did today.

What you couldn't have tried grounding? see if that relaxes you. throw those emotions and thoughts down that hole?

I know that is what I SHOULD have done, and honestly I did consider it, but I was too riled up, and I can't sit still and calm my mind like that. I have to vent. I had to hop online and talk to my friends, and that made me feel better. I could probably do the grounding thing now since I'm relaxed now. I also think the white rose thing will come in handy.

Let me honest rockchick. I'm about at the point where I think to get you to do things (spiritual) it's going to take a phone call. like I as your coach have to sit there and watch you do the pushups. and guess what I've stood up here and said I would do that. I would sit on a phone call with you and do some "guided meditations" yes. I would

That would only make things worse, I can't relax when I'm talking to people, especially on the phone since I have a phobia about that. Anytime somebody is around me I can't fully relax and anytime I'm on the phone I have to pace the floor. I actually have a path, I walk through the kitchen, into the livingroom, go around through the kitchen again, in circles, until I'm off the phone. I dont know why, it's just this nervous thing I do because I hate talking on the phone and if I try to sit still I'll start to feel agitated like I need to burn off some energy (probably stress from being nervous). Want to hear something really wierd but is probably too much information for some people? (I am about to get a little gross here) I physically can't go to the bathroom (#2) unless I'm alone. If I live with someone, I can't do it until they leave or go to bed. I can't do it when i'm on vacation, at other people's houses, it just doesn't happen. One time I went to CA for 7 days, I couldn't go the entire time, until I got home, because I was with my friend the whole time. I also could hardly sleep. I only sleep about 1 hour anytime I'm staying in a hotel with somebody or sleeping at someone's house. Sorry I got a little long winded there but I just had to explain my strange inability to relax anytime I'm around someone or talking on the phone to them!

You were a child once. you could pretend you were a "firefighter" a "actor" a "whatever" play the part. walk around your soon to be vacant apartment and say "hello, rothchild my butler. Ill take my tea in the study this evening " validate that you create in the now that your thoughts are real and it is possible to shift realities just like that <finger snap>

This is interesting you mention shifting realities just like that, because I actually thought of doing this to see if it would work; Writing a story of my perfect life, from beginning to end, like a novel, and then see if my current life starts shifting to that life. I got the idea actually from my favorite show, Lost, right now there are 2 realities and they are starting to merge together, and I thought hey that could be a fun way to create my new life, just pretend I'm on the show and I have a whole different reality and it's about to merge with the current one!

Children don't let their dad yelling at them shake them up if there in their place. there dad could tell them how bad they were dragging dirt into the house. but in 2 minutes later there right back to playing cops and robbers

Really?! I was never like that After my dad would yell at me, I'd be afraid to go near him for the rest of the day and I slowly started to want to be around him less and less. I've noticed the same behavior in my nephew, he's 4, and my brother/his dad is really strict with him and is always yelling at him, and the poor kid doesn't ever talk to him and when its time to go home, he cries and resists as much as he can. I think my brother is raising him the same way we were raised, always yelling at us about what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That is so not good for a kid!

This is my simple understanding..when you point out yours flaws.

You are saying "I don't like myself" and it's as simple as that. if you could see it from my perspective this once. you would see that a lot of the issues we have on the planet are all about "self love" and "self worth"

But everyone has flaws, you can't deny that. Humans are not perfect or we would have heaven on Earth right now. I think it's a great sign of strength to be able to admit your flaws.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I really need to do that especially after the argument with my dad today. I got off the phone feeling like I could punch something and the feeling stayed with me for about an hour. It's incredible how toxic negative people can affect you so much.

This kind of stuff never happens to me on the phone.

Usually, at some point before the conversation gets really negative, I say something like: "I need to go and pee now, I will talk to you again some other time" and I hang up the phone.

At work, I say something like this: "I can see that you're feeling upset. When you're calm again, give me a call and I'm sure we will be able to come up with a solution" and once again I hang up the phone.

The key is to cut off the conversation before it spirals into an irretrievable downward tailspin. You cut it off, and you can always resume the conversation the next day, or the next week.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Hey Rockchick, I first want to tell you that I like having you around. You're a mirror-buddy for me, you're often going through some of the same stuff I am but with a different twist and projected onto another person.

Thanks! It really helps knowing other people can relate to this madness that is my life!

For instance, I am having relationship trouble now, not with my dad but with a friend that I have been telling myself I have almost reached the end of my rope with for over a year now. Every time I picture him I just see myself smashing his face in. And using this excuse I have stayed up till all hours of the morn distracting myself with lame TV and forums, instead of moving forward on my powerful new plan to Improve My Life.

Yeah sounds like we're both in a very similar situation. I also have a situation with a friend like yours. We'll have to compare notes, hopefully one of us finds a solution and can help the other!

I use whatever techniques I can to focus on the positive and visualize my desires and I do think it helps. As for what is your ego and how to fix it, here is my theory:

Your desires come from your ego. By thinking about and visualizing your desires, you are using the most powerful thought process available to you to make these desires a reality. This should make your ego happy, but your ego identifies with all the negative thought processes it habitually uses and so it resists the new techniques. By consistently practicing positive thinking, the ego eventually re-identifies with this and the conflict is healed.

I don't usually have good success telling voices in my head to shut up, I usually have to deflect them with a positive thought.

This reminds me of the rubber band trick. You put a rubber band around your wrist and every time you find yourself thinking negatively, you snap it. I honestly don't think that would work for me though because knowing me I would just not snap it! I have no self discipline whatsoever.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I know it sounds silly for an unemployed person to not have enough time, but I can't explain it, how I have literally about 20 or 30 things that I have to do or want to do in, things are laying around cluttering up my apartment, until I can get to them, I don't understand it either. I do sit on the internet most of the day but I'm behind even on things I need to do on HERE!

You don't need the LOA.

You need to go back to much simpler, much more basic stuff in personal development.

Things like making a daily to-do list; assigning a "High", "Medium or "Low" priority to each item; and doing all the "High" items first.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

This kind of stuff never happens to me on the phone.

Usually, at some point before the conversation gets really negative, I say something like: "I need to go and pee now, I will talk to you again some other time" and I hang up the phone.

At work, I say something like this: "I can see that you're feeling upset. When you're calm again, give me a call and I'm sure we will be able to come up with a solution" and once again I hang up the phone.

The key is to cut off the conversation before it spirals into an irretrievable downward tailspin. You cut it off, and you can always resume the conversation the next day, or the next week.

I wish I could handle it that way. My dad gets more mad the less you talk to him. So if I did that, our conversations would be over the minute they start and then he would get more upset that I waited a week to call him and then only talked for 10 seconds. He doesn't even say "hello", his first words out of his mouth were, "Oh you still live in this town!?" (But he didn't say it to be funny, he said it to give me a guilt trip for not calling sooner). He never sees arguments as his fault, it's always the other person's fault, so if somebody were to hang up on him, he would blame them for not wanting to talk to him and then next time you talk to him he would still be mad about it.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

You don't need the LOA.

You need to go back to much simpler, much more basic stuff in personal development.

Things like making a daily to-do list; assigning a "High", "Medium or "Low" priority to each item; and doing all the "High" items first.

Yeah that does work if you are disciplined, I tried that when I was doing the Tony Robbins Personal Power program. I think I did it twice and then never did it again after that. It felt like too much work to write the lists out, and sometimes I just looked at it and said to myself, 'what has changed? I already knew I had to do this stuff, and I still cant bring myself to do them'. So, yeah, that only lasted about 2 days.

I am starting to think my only problems are laziness and lack of discipline. Every time I try something, the reason why I quit always comes down to one of those two things.

I think a big part of the problem is that I don't like doing things I HAVE to do. If I just suddenly had an idea to do something new, then I love doing it, but if it's something that is on my list of things to do, and it comes time to get it done, I can't get the motivation and the energy or the desire to do it. Even when they were previously things I was really excited about! I think this may be a form of ADD, I only have the attention span for any given thing for a few hours or a few days and after that I find something new to move on to, for a few hours or a few days. Hmmmm.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by themaster

Or say bashar's favorite phrase.. "circumstances don't matter, only my state of being matters"

That is what everyone wants deep down - to not have to need circumstances to be different than it is and to have peace of mind and joy and love within without depending on any circumstance at all.

I think once one gets into their better states of being, which can continually grow, the circumstances change automatically for the better too.

It may be easier to find better states of being and not be trying to manipulate the world with needing circumstances to serve you.

[wolfgang]

excuses be gone.

I wish you could get what you want.

You seem to have lots of awareness of what is keeping you stuck.

Imagination of what you want is part of the idea of going for something new. If you can imagine that it's possible, then it's more available to get into. But if it's over run by excuses, the imagination of what could be is really just a ball of "I can't" statements.

Another part is letting go of everything that is keeping you stuck, all the excuses, all the but this and that or statements of being ADD. All that is habitual needless churning. I know I do it too at times. To let go you need to know it's there and not be ruled by it.

If you want something else you have to imagine what that is and just bow to the old stuff as whatever. Keep from engaging excuses, in other words. Only to be aware of them and take a bow at them as something that you created in your life that probably was needed at sometime. But now you can just focus on how you would like it to go going forward.

If an excuse shows up that stopped you from picking up the guitar - just mentally look at the excuse and take a bow at it and then imagine or even pick up the guitar. If you don't feel passion to practice, so what? That's an excuse. If it's something you'd rather be doing than just spinning out excuses for not wanting to do what you want to do - then go ahead and do this new thing you want to do. And don't tell me you don't know what you want. That is a favorite excuse of mine - you can't have that one!

It could be simple. It could there's no need to figure out a bunch of techniques and do the best IM you can. It almost seems like you need something that is simpler instead of more stuff to do. It could be more natural. It's possible. Just let go of the objections to what comes up when you are going about something new.

Like I wanted to do push ups routine for a while. I had excuses to not do it. I'm tired. I just ate. I'll break a sweat. I already go a workout with yard work. I wasn't into doing them. I started wondering why I wanted to do it. Those were excuses. I did what I suggested here. I noticed these excuses. I mentally bowed at them and said I think I would rather spend 10 minutes actually doing the push ups than entertaining/beefing up all the excuses. It was a decision. I had to choose to not indulge the excuses. Well it lasted a while. I'm full of excuses again of some kind. But it can work and be a easy as a way to focus on a goal. Just nod to the habitual old stuff and do something new.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

excuses be gone.

This is the name of that program by Wayne Dyer, and when I saw it I was like, oh my God this is exactly what I need, this is the answer!! I wrote down every single excuse and every single replacement phrase you're supposed to say instead. I read them over and told myself to memorize them for when I needed them. And that's where it ended. I almost feel like I can be totally in the flow while I'm reading something or learning something but then when I set it down and get back to my daily routine, I can't incorporate anything new into that, it's like they're too seperate.

Imagination of what you want is part of the idea of going for something new. If you can imagine that it's possible, then it's more available to get into. But if it's over run by excuses, the imagination of what could be is really just a ball of "I can't" statements.

Well at first everything seems possible, until I start to actually get down to the details of planning it. I'll give a good example, for the last 3 days I've been researching that work exchange program where you can go live on an organic farm for up to 6 months for free just by helping them out 4-8 hours a day. It sounded perfect, you don't have to pay rent, you don't have to get a real job, you just have to do whatever they need you to do, and I have a strong interest in organic foods and traveling so this fit in with that perfectly. But then I started to wonder where I was going to get the money to GET to these places, and then I realized how bad my nephew would miss me and I would miss him (he's only 4 and he loves me, he's always asking if I can come over and play with him), and what would that do to him if his favorite (and only) aunt was never around anymore? I've always said that my desire to do these things is equally as strong as my need to keep my family and friends in my life (well, some family and some friends ) but then I'm kind of held prisoner by one of my own values. What do you do if two things you want almost equally mean that you have to give up the other in order to get one of them? And would it be worth it?

If you don't feel passion to practice, so what? That's an excuse.

This is one of the few legitimate excuses, I think...if someone doesn't have passion for something, they aren't going to make it appear out of thin air by forcing it. This is the reason why so many people are unhappy because they are forced to do things they don't feel excited about. That's how I felt for 18 years at my job and I dont want to live the rest of my life that way and I would tell anybody it's a perfect "excuse", not even an excuse at all in my book. If you don't feel passion for something, it isn't meant to be.

And don't tell me you don't know what you want. That is a favorite excuse of mine - you can't have that one!

If I've ever said "I don't know what I want", it always meant "I don't know what I want the most". It's because I have TOO many things I want. I've even added a few more to my list over the last 3 days! I probably have about 20 different lifestyles/plans/jobs that I want to do. This wouldn't be a problem at all if I have always had the same clear goal from the beginning. But how can you aim for a goal when you have 20 of them all floating around in your face demanding to know what your choice is, like there is a giant timer counting down and you have to pick one but you dont want to NOT pick any of them but you can't pick them all either!

It could be simple. It could there's no need to figure out a bunch of techniques and do the best IM you can. It almost seems like you need something that is simpler instead of more stuff to do. It could be more natural. It's possible.

Yeah I'm sure the answer is something simple, but my brain has always made everything complicated. As far back as I can remember, people have always told me, "You're making this more difficult than it is", or "This isn't as hard as you think". But I honestly don't know how to see it differently, I just naturally think of every little detail, I have a critical analytical detail-oriented mind. It's probably why I spent so many years drinking alcohol and smoking pot because those were the only times that part of my brain shut off and I was just allowed to enjoy myself and feel like everyone else always feels. I felt like a normal person. I dont do those things anymore though, because I value my health too much (and also don't have the money), so maybe that's why in the last few years I've been struggling more than ever.

Like I wanted to do push ups routine for a while. I had excuses to not do it. I'm tired. I just ate. I'll break a sweat. I already go a workout with yard work. I wasn't into doing them. I started wondering why I wanted to do it. Those were excuses. I did what I suggested here. I noticed these excuses. I mentally bowed at them and said I think I would rather spend 10 minutes actually doing the push ups than entertaining/beefing up all the excuses. It was a decision. I had to choose to not indulge the excuses. Well it lasted a while. I'm full of excuses again of some kind. But it can work and be a easy as a way to focus on a goal. Just nod to the habitual old stuff and do something new.

Those are the same excuses I make for not working out more than I should. But when you say "it lasted a while", that means they didn't work in the long run, and you lost your self discipline. My mind now is going right to that part and saying to me, "See, that didn't work, it isn't a magic cure." and I always figure if something isn't 100% then what's the point. If you know something will only work half the time, you would keep trying to find something that works ALL the time. Just like my goals, rather than choosing a goal that has a lot of flaws, it would be smarter to choose a goal that has no flaws (or at least as few as possible).

[ellie]

Rockchick have you read Barbra Shers - refuse to choose?

I think you should get it. It's about embracing, having lots of different ideas, and passions.

It's helped me heaps. I implemented doing everything on mind, no matter if the outcome is successful. This has helped me tremendously in getting closer to what I really want to do.

You obviously have time to experiment, so don't waste this time...start experimenting.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

Rockchick have you read Barbra Shers - refuse to choose?

I think you should get it. It's about embracing, having lots of different ideas, and passions.

It's helped me heaps. I implemented doing everything on mind, no matter if the outcome is successful. This has helped me tremendously in getting closer to what I really want to do.

You obviously have time to experiment, so don't waste this time...start experimenting.

Yes, I bought that book. Like everything else, I got so excited and thought finally this was the answer. I read that book in about a day and a half, (usually it takes me months to get through a book), but I was so excited and into this. I even joined her group on Facebook and I joined her forum and posted on there and Barbara herself even replied to me! And then, nothing. I could go into detail about how it didn't work but I'm sure it doesn't matter, I think what it boils down to is there is just too much stopping me from achieving what I want and now i'm starting to think even if there was a magic pill, it wouldn't work anyway. I think I need to see a hypnotist or get some therapy or something, to find out why I keep blocking myself. The excuses seem genuine to me (lack of money, lack of self discipline/willpower, the inability to leave my family and friends, having too many choices (4 or 5 is ok but now I'm up to literally at least 20). but to other people they are just excuses and I need to find out why I keep making them.

[pyrogen]

Rockchick:

Have you been checked for ADHD or other organic causes to your confusion and clutter? I would rule that out first. Always get the hardware checked before you start working on the software. The best software in the world won't make a bit of difference if your motherboard is fried, or your hard disk has a head crash.

P/D and I/M is software.

Your health is hardware.

Poor diet (especially if it's high in carbohydrates and artificial junk) can cause brain fog, and if you have trouble fixing this issue then perhaps you should look into the issue of food addictions. Bad food is physiologically addictive.

Subclinical hormone issues can wreak all kinds of mental havoc. I have (severe, not subclinical) hyperthyroidism, and when it's untreated I am CRAAAAZEEEEEE.

ADHD can cause this, too. All of your stuff to me sounds like classic ADHD. The medication for it works, is short-acting, and is a good stopgap measure that gives you enough time to develop better P/D and organizational skills.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

You don't need the LOA.

You need to go back to much simpler, much more basic stuff in personal development.

Things like making a daily to-do list; assigning a "High", "Medium or "Low" priority to each item; and doing all the "High" items first.

Agreed, I came to that. I was a good manifester but a poor maintainer. All the job/career LOA in the world made no difference for me until I started treating my health and ADHD issues... which affected my ability to use the most basic of PD. Rockchick's scattered thinking, confusion, and disorganization remind me of me, two years ago.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

Rockchick:

Have you been checked for ADHD or other organic causes to your confusion and clutter? I would rule that out first. Always get the hardware checked before you start working on the software. The best software in the world won't make a bit of difference if your motherboard is fried, or your hard disk has a head crash.

P/D and I/M is software.

Your health is hardware.

Poor diet (especially if it's high in carbohydrates and artificial junk) can cause brain fog, and if you have trouble fixing this issue then perhaps you should look into the issue of food addictions. Bad food is physiologically addictive.

Subclinical hormone issues can wreak all kinds of mental havoc. I have (severe, not subclinical) hyperthyroidism, and when it's untreated I am CRAAAAZEEEEEE.

ADHD can cause this, too. All of your stuff to me sounds like classic ADHD. The medication for it works, is short-acting, and is a good stopgap measure that gives you enough time to develop better P/D and organizational skills.



Agreed, I came to that. I was a good manifester but a poor maintainer. All the job/career LOA in the world made no difference for me until I started treating my health and ADHD issues... which affected my ability to use the most basic of PD. Rockchick's scattered thinking, confusion, and disorganization remind me of me, two years ago.

I don't have health insurance so I can't go to the doctor. And paying out of pocket would be more than I have (I'm already in debt and barely scraping by).

But I won't go on drugs though, I would sooner change my diet, which I have as much as I can, but since I can't buy all my groceries, I have to take whatever people give me and so I get a lot of ramen noodles and rice a roni and tv dinners, etc.

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't have health insurance so I can't go to the doctor. And paying out of pocket would be more than I have (I'm already in debt and barely scraping by).

But I won't go on drugs though, I would sooner change my diet, which I have as much as I can, but since I can't buy all my groceries, I have to take whatever people give me and so I get a lot of ramen noodles and rice a roni and tv dinners, etc.

That's your problem. You're in a constant state of carb-induced brainfog.

I'd say that the first thing that you need to fix is the money problem. If you're getting by on ramen, then I'd say that the money problem is your top priority and that kind of simplifies things for you.

"What do I do with my life" and "fulfilling my dreamz" is higher up Maslow' s heirarchy of needs from "living on ramen".

There's plenty of free training out there so that you can get better work and student aid will help with that which isn't free... but you have to look for it.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I don't have health insurance so I can't go to the doctor. And paying out of pocket would be more than I have (I'm already in debt and barely scraping by).

But I won't go on drugs though, I would sooner change my diet, which I have as much as I can, but since I can't buy all my groceries, I have to take whatever people give me and so I get a lot of ramen noodles and rice a roni and tv dinners, etc.

Title of the thread pretty much says it all - "Nothing works for you".

I found it hilarious that one of the reasons you gave for rejecting Pyrogen's suggestion was that you'd rather change your diet .... and then you immediately gave multiple suggestions why you cannot change your diet anyway.

You only have one problem ... and it's a bad mental habit. Your mind is geared towards finding reasons to believe why things can't work or won't happen or aren't possible for you.

I suspect that even the existence of your many different interests are just a mental excuse why you can't pursue any of them. Eg:

"I can't do X, because I need to do Y."

"But I can't do Y, because I need to do Z."

"But I can't do Z, because I need to do X."

It's a mental trap ...

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

I'd say that the first thing that you need to fix is the money problem. If you're getting by on ramen, then I'd say that the money problem is your top priority and that kind of simplifies things for you.

That's why I've been focusing more on looking for a job and less on spiritual endeavors. If this were any other period in history I probably would have gotten something by now. It's a crappy time to be looking for work.

"What do I do with my life" and "fulfilling my dreamz" is higher up Maslow' s heirarchy of needs from "living on ramen".

Well, although I know getting a job is a higher priority than fullfilling my dreams, I didn't want to get stuck doing another dead end up or a job I didn't like. So I was using this time to search my soul and rediscover myself and actually do what I want to do. If I get sucked into working at another factory Lord knows I'll never be able to make myself leave (after all, I didn't the first time!) so I'm trying to not just "get a job" but "create a career" out of what I want to do the most. That's why I'm having this struggle because although I need money, I also need to fullfill my soul's desires that have been dormant my whole life until now. I feel like I'm at a fork in the road and it's now or never and I have to make the right choice now.

There's plenty of free training out there so that you can get better work and student aid will help with that which isn't free... but you have to look for it.

I do want to go to school, (I have a few classes already picked out I want to take someday before I die)...and I know I'd have to pay at least something, yes I'd get student loans and stuff but the odds are slim of me finding a job anytime soon and if I go into debt even more and not be able to pay on that, what then? How can they get your money if you don't have a job, they take your car! And if they take my car, I'd have no way to get a job. I'd basically end up like a teenager living with my mom with no vehicle and no money and no life. That to me is the ultimate worst case scenario that I'm trying to avoid.

Oh, I should clarify...I don't want a job in anything that is "in demand" or easy to get, all the things I want to do either don't pay at all or they pay very little or you have to be famous and/or extremely lucky to make a living at it. So that's why I'm afraid to go to school too because with what I want to do, you can't just go out there and apply, you have to know the right people, have the talent, or have been doing it for many years. Or they aren't even jobs at all, I just want to do them and figure out a way to make money doing them.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Title of the thread pretty much says it all - "Nothing works for you".

I found it hilarious that one of the reasons you gave for rejecting Pyrogen's suggestion was that you'd rather change your diet .... and then you immediately gave multiple suggestions why you cannot change your diet anyway.

This is actually the "excuse" most people give. Either they can't afford to eat healthy all the time, or they don't have the time to cook. I DO have the time to cook and I do that as much as I can and if I had a good paying job I would buy 100% healthy food all the time. Mark my words, when I am financially stable again, I won't even touch ramen noodles and tv dinners and macaroni and cheese from a box.

You only have one problem ... and it's a bad mental habit. Your mind is geared towards finding reasons to believe why things can't work or won't happen or aren't possible for you.

I suspect that even the existence of your many different interests are just a mental excuse why you can't pursue any of them. Eg:



It's a mental trap ...

Yeah, I can see this. It's funny how you can be aware of something yet feel helpless to change it. I feel almost like I am being controlled, like someone installed a microchip that automatically makes my brain think in certain ways. I really do want to try hypnosis, I really think that's my last resort. I'd rather pay $100 one time than go on medication for the rest of my life which would cost $100 for just one month probably.

[Lauxa]

Rockchick,

Did you ever try my negative affirmations technique?

Negative affirmations

For me it has been a valuable tool at learning to direct my thoughts towards my desires. I started feeling positive results almost immediately and it's been an upward spiral from there. I haven't solved all my problems of course, but I've been using this technique for almost 2 years to manage the worst of my negativity... and these days I am consistently feeling better, stronger, and more motivated than when I began.

I think you should go live on the farm, you can always visit your nephew and send him mail. Do you want to be the depressed aunt who can't get her life together or the inspiring aunt who goes after her dreams? Take care of yourself first, and you will be a bigger blessing to those you love.

How much money would you need to get there?

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Title of the thread pretty much says it all - "Nothing works for you".

I found it hilarious that one of the reasons you gave for rejecting Pyrogen's suggestion was that you'd rather change your diet .... and then you immediately gave multiple suggestions why you cannot change your diet anyway.

You only have one problem ... and it's a bad mental habit. Your mind is geared towards finding reasons to believe why things can't work or won't happen or aren't possible for you.

I suspect that even the existence of your many different interests are just a mental excuse why you can't pursue any of them. Eg:



It's a mental trap ...

I think so too! As I use to do the exact same thing myself. I cannot believe what I told myself and how I believed what I told myself, only to find out now, that it was absolute drivel It's actually been a real slap in the face, that my attitude towards myself, made me waste a whole lot of years.

At some point, rockchick you will have to make that change within yourself. You're going to have to take a concerted effort, to take a leap, and do the opposite to what you are accustomed to.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I feel almost like I am being controlled, like someone installed a microchip that automatically makes my brain think in certain ways.

You ARE being controlled; someone DID install a program in your mind that has you automatically reacting, rather than freely choosing.

That someone was you.

For years here you have been speculating about finding something outside yourself that will effect change in yourself (in your negative habitual thought patterns) and there's always, every time, a "good" reason that it won't work. And you're right -- nothing outside yourself -- nothing that costs money, or that you have to hire someone for, or that someone will give you -- is going to make any significant difference.

The only one who can reprogram you is you. And it takes dynamic willingness -- not just this flimsy, wimpy ("but I really do WANT it!") wishing and hoping crap that you've been floomping around with for years, but actually choosing change, and being the cause of it in your life.

I don't see you doing that, though. I predict you will say, "I don't know HOW to choose change and be the cause of it in my life! I need to find something OUT THERE that will help me figure out how to choose!" (The Chicken Opera of Change. )

Which is very much like standing in front of someone offering you either chocolate or vanilla ice cream, and your saying, "I don't know HOW to choose between chocolate and vanilla!!! " (the Chicken Opera of Ice Cream.)

You choose by choosing.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is the name of that program by Wayne Dyer, and when I saw it I was like, oh my God this is exactly what I need, this is the answer!! I wrote down every single excuse and every single replacement phrase you're supposed to say instead. I read them over and told myself to memorize them for when I needed them. And that's where it ended.

you're funny.

I almost feel like I can be totally in the flow while I'm reading something or learning something but then when I set it down and get back to my daily routine, I can't incorporate anything new into that, it's like they're too seperate.

it might be that doing new things or thinking differently does take some time doing the different thing before it's an automatic.

Well at first everything seems possible, until I start to actually get down to the details of planning it. I'll give a good example, for the last 3 days I've been researching that work exchange program where you can go live on an organic farm for up to 6 months for free just by helping them out 4-8 hours a day. It sounded perfect, you don't have to pay rent, you don't have to get a real job, you just have to do whatever they need you to do, and I have a strong interest in organic foods and traveling so this fit in with that perfectly. But then I started to wonder where I was going to get the money to GET to these places, and then I realized how bad my nephew would miss me and I would miss him (he's only 4 and he loves me, he's always asking if I can come over and play with him), and what would that do to him if his favorite (and only) aunt was never around anymore? I've always said that my desire to do these things is equally as strong as my need to keep my family and friends in my life (well, some family and some friends ) but then I'm kind of held prisoner by one of my own values. What do you do if two things you want almost equally mean that you have to give up the other in order to get one of them? And would it be worth it?

it becomes a decision. which is more important. although sometimes satisfying other people for their sake only is no good for yourself.

This is one of the few legitimate excuses, I think...if someone doesn't have passion for something, they aren't going to make it appear out of thin air by forcing it. This is the reason why so many people are unhappy because they are forced to do things they don't feel excited about. That's how I felt for 18 years at my job and I dont want to live the rest of my life that way and I would tell anybody it's a perfect "excuse", not even an excuse at all in my book. If you don't feel passion for something, it isn't meant to be.

I can say I loose my passion to play music. Still it is more fun to play even if I don't feel the passion. I think once you know it's possible that the passion would be there, it's still motivating to give it some time.

If I've ever said "I don't know what I want", it always meant "I don't know what I want the most". It's because I have TOO many things I want. I've even added a few more to my list over the last 3 days! I probably have about 20 different lifestyles/plans/jobs that I want to do. This wouldn't be a problem at all if I have always had the same clear goal from the beginning. But how can you aim for a goal when you have 20 of them all floating around in your face demanding to know what your choice is, like there is a giant timer counting down and you have to pick one but you dont want to NOT pick any of them but you can't pick them all either!

maybe having too many things on your plate is a way of not actually knowing what you want in a different way. instead of saying "I don't know" you can be all over the place and pick lots of "cool" stuff you want in your life without much discrimination (i.e. not knowing what you want).

Yeah I'm sure the answer is something simple, but my brain has always made everything complicated. As far back as I can remember, people have always told me, "You're making this more difficult than it is", or "This isn't as hard as you think". But I honestly don't know how to see it differently, I just naturally think of every little detail, I have a critical analytical detail-oriented mind. It's probably why I spent so many years drinking alcohol and smoking pot because those were the only times that part of my brain shut off and I was just allowed to enjoy myself and feel like everyone else always feels. I felt like a normal person. I dont do those things anymore though, because I value my health too much (and also don't have the money), so maybe that's why in the last few years I've been struggling more than ever.

however you got out of drinking and smoking is how to get going with what you really want to do in life, perhaps. something shifted or you decided that something was important to focus on and you convinced yourself enough that you didn't have to make a to do list for "not drinking or smoking".

Those are the same excuses I make for not working out more than I should. But when you say "it lasted a while", that means they didn't work in the long run, and you lost your self discipline. My mind now is going right to that part and saying to me, "See, that didn't work, it isn't a magic cure." and I always figure if something isn't 100% then what's the point. If you know something will only work half the time, you would keep trying to find something that works ALL the time. Just like my goals, rather than choosing a goal that has a lot of flaws, it would be smarter to choose a goal that has no flaws (or at least as few as possible).

yeah I gave up. that little goal comes and goes. I do think it's a matter of choice and just saying the heck with the old objections, I decided to do this so I can do it.

In other words, there is probably never going to be a perfect goal or some technique to get you off your butt to get it done. It's always just putting in the time until the new thing or thinking becomes the new normal.

The habitual conditioned mind will do what it does until we program it differently. The only way to program it differently is to do the new thinking or activity. I also think reflection, contemplation and meditation unhooks the conditioned mind and then it's easier or there's less resistance to getting off your butt. However, this is also something that might not be a habit - reflection, contemplation and meditation. In which case you'd have to convince yourself that deciding and prioritizing these thing to spend time on is worthwhile. I imagine there's a way to motivate yourself without too much will power - it's just deciding and convincing yourself and not feeding the excuses.

[Acting Like Godot]

My mind now is going right to that part and saying to me, "See, that didn't work, it isn't a magic cure." and I always figure if something isn't 100% then what's the point. If you know something will only work half the time, you would keep trying to find something that works ALL the time. Just like my goals, rather than choosing a goal that has a lot of flaws, it would be smarter to choose a goal that has no flaws (or at least as few as possible).

But that's another mistake which you habitually make, in different forms.

The reason for picking something that doesn't work 100% of the time is that at least it works 50%, or 70% or 90% of the time. That's still infinitely better than doing nothing, a decision that will yield you 0%.

To put it another way -

1. you could have 20 interests and go nowhere with any of them; or

2. you could have 5 interests and go somewhere with each of them; or

3. you could have 1 interest and go a very long way with it.

It's debatable whether (2) or (3) is preferable, but what's clear is that both (2) and (3) are superior to (1).

Unfortunately it sounds like you're consistently choosing (1). In your search for the "best" possible option, you consistently end up picking the worst possible option.