Beating Bulimia

[butterflyeffect]

I noticed a few threads where different people have posted their progresion towards their goals and I want to do the same.

My name is Amy S., I'm turning 21 in June and I intend to overcome bulimia by my 21st birthday.

I promise not to lie in this thread, over the years I've been sick I've found I've constantly had to lie about everything. I constantly steal or buy food and then consume it. I exersize obessively at the gym and binge straight afterwards, I don't enjoy it, I hate it. I have been hospitalised and tried to beat it for the last 5 years. I have been running at the same brickwal for the last five years, desperate to lose weight and then over eating and gaining weight.

My Eating disorder thrives on secrecy and thats why I want to share. Lots of people have eating disorder hidden in secret and shame and the saddest thing is it just keeps fueling the whole thing.

I know the solution must sound simple - just stop doing it and I have tried to and Im always trying to but unfortunatley its a little more complex than that.

My goals for wellness are:

- To only eat at meal and snack times the appropriate quanities specified in my meal plan from the dietician
- To attend the gym every morning and not over eat afterwards
- Not to steal any extra food or snacks
- Have a room that is free from candy wrappers permantly
- Have insulin levels under 10
- Be a healthy weight
- Lose the excess kilos the ed caused
- Be able to eat mindfully and notice the food and its textures not bolt and swallow

My goals for the week are:
- Im going to follow my meal plan
- Im not going to woolworths for the rest of the week ( i normally go twice a day)
- I will not buy extra food from the video store or convenience stores at uni or work
- I will not eat at McDonalds
- I'll continue to practise meditation

Cool, well to give you a better perspective, I see a specialist psychiatrist, doctor, naturopath, I have attended day programs, hospital programs and see a personal trainer 2x a week and a dietician. So I know what to do, its doing it that I find the tricky part, haha as well as financing the whole operation..! = p

Smiles and virtual hugs to everyone xxx