Sacrifice is the Deadliest Action.

[Karanime]

If you're in a situation where there is any good at all, there is no instance in which you should leave that good behind. Never sacrifice the good for the bad, or else you'll have more situations of the same.

If you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, the answer is not to leave the relationship.

The answer is to not be affected by the abuse.

Don't tell the Universe you will sacrifice the good to escape the bad. What does that show in you? That you'll run from something that makes you happy, if it means it's inconvenient?

You're not in an abusive relationship. Their words are their own, and you know they don't affect you. You can change the relationship this way. You don't have to run. You can keep the good and discard the bad.

Intentions start in the mind, not in the body. It is with thought, not action that we re-create our realities. If you can change the way you think about your life, instead of making physical changes to it, you leave the Universe to do its part with no effort from you. As it should be.

Do not sacrifice--the Universe will think it's okay to destroy the things you love.

I will never give it that permission.

/<3

[nicbrahms]

I think it is to do with vibration too.

I have intended my boyfriend change or be more the way I want him to be and it does work, though it was never an abusive relationship, however, even the small things got ironed out.

Anyway when you change your vibration you start to clash with people who don't match your vibration, I had this happen with my boyfriend in the early days. I would be super happy and he would be super negative. We ended up having a weekend of arguments and I had thoughts about leaving the relationship, however come Monday he had unknowingly raised his vibration to match mine, it was quite astonishing how he changed and became positive and lovely over night.

Also, when your vibration is where it is you start to move away from people that don't complement it or you change their vibration. You can also clash with people who are of similar high vibration, almost like you are squaring up subconsciously.

Anyway I could not envision if my vibration was high, why on earth I would be having anything even resembling abuse in my life. It would not exist in my high vibration world, and indeed it doesn't.

I would imagine a part of you is playing with your reality and that is fine too, after all you are supposed to play with it.

And don't think that changing the bad means losing the good it doesn't have to be that way, you would just change your reality where you are interacting with a different version of the same person. A version more in synch with your vibe.

[Karanime]

Nic, that's in addition to what I said, right?

Just wanted to make that clear in case someone gets confused.

/<3

[Light Reality]

How is there good in an abusive relationship ..........?

Everyone has their own intentions. A person on the receiving end of the abuse should have more self esteem IMO and get someone better who is not abusive.

[nicbrahms]

Originally Posted by Karanime

Nic, that's in addition to what I said, right?

Just wanted to make that clear in case someone gets confused.

/<3

Not at all.

I am saying that the situation could not exist if you have raised your vibration, or shouldn't.

However, I agree that you should give thanks for everything, including the bad and then you are not resisting it. Which would allow you to change it.

I could not condone an abusive relationship, however, if that is what you decide you want then that is your show, and you can do anything you want.

But don't for a minute decide you must accept what you consider as bad to be part and parcel of the good, with exception of chemicalisation.

However, in the bigger picture all is neutral.

You are talking about taking the high road in not allowing the abuse to effect you, however, this is resisting it and it will continue. Furthermore, the only time accepting or resisting the bad works is duing a chemicalisation, in that everything must get worse before it gets better, otherwise change the abuse for what you prefer.

There is no point resisting it, or rising above it unless there is something to gain from it. It seems here you could gain strength of character, but it is up to you, once again it is your show and you can do as you please.

[Karanime]

There's something incredibly off about your posts, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

I'll get back to you on this.

/<3

[Diandra25]

karanime

i dont understand what you re saying.

an abusive relationship dont have anything good about it,at leasnt i cannot see any happyness in it for the one who is being abused.

i can ask myself why the person attracted that relationship - it is beauce has low self-esteem,doenst really love themselves and so they attract the ones who also dont love them back,and who treat them like the crap they feel they are.

so,the thing good about it,can be the fact that in a moment,the abused person might wake up and decide that deserves better,and compare - should i sacrifice myself and continue to suffer cause i dont like myself,?or can i raise myself above this,and start to treat myself like the perfect soul i am,and thereophore kick that other person in the butt?


so i dont agree with your perspective,on staying in an abusive relationship just for the sake of it- i dont see anyone having something good on being treated with violence,any sort of violence.

and running away is the best thing to do,if after the abused raised his/her vibration,the abuser doesnt change his/her own vibration to a higher degree...that just says that it is best to look for the perfect relationship.the one where we are really happy,,and not just happy in some moments,while the abuser is sleeping or quiet.....

and another thing...if you were almost dying with being beated up by the other,woul dyou stay the same way?just not to leave the "good" that you see?cause most of the times the abused sees the other as a poor thing,that is or alchoolic or depressed,or unemployed and that is why acts in abusive ways...and we all know that this is seeing life with rose coloured glassess....

i see your comment as a dangerous one to the people that arent really into LOA or the type of things we discuss...someone who reads this might think that it is positive to be beaten up ort reated with violence in emotional or psichological way....


i think that we can have a stron conection to someone,a karmic thing that keeps us with someone who is abusive...but loving that person? i dont believe in that.cause to me LOVE is always positive.is always something shared that raises our vibration,not lowing it.

[Karanime]

Why are you assuming the abuse came from a force I wasn't able to control?

The abuser is not the enemy. The abuser, in fact, is an ally.

Because the abuse doesn't exist. If you were 100% okay, it would be physically impossible for you to be abused. Absolutely.

If you created the abusive relationship, why in hell would you want to run away from it? It's kind of there for a reason.

I have a question… what's the difference between positivity and happiness? Because if they're the same thing, theoretically, if you think being beaten up and abused is a positive thing, then you can have a "perfect" relationship, where you're completely happy.

I don't understand what this infatuation is with happiness. If that's all you were looking for, wouldn't you have it?

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by nicbrahms

But don't for a minute decide you must accept what you consider as bad to be part and parcel of the good, with exception of chemicalisation.

It's accepting that the bad doesn't exist, instead of running from a conceived negative situation. There is really no such thing as negative. Everything you have is everything you've ever wanted.

And true principles have no exceptions. There is an incongruence somewhere.

You are talking about taking the high road in not allowing the abuse to effect you, however, this is resisting it and it will continue.

This is wrong. I am, in fact, talking about realizing that the abuse is there for a reason, and for a reason you chose. In reality, we're not trying to get it to stop. We want it to continue, for as long as possible. And it will, until we don't need it anymore.

Furthermore, the only time accepting or resisting the bad works is duing a chemicalisation, in that everything must get worse before it gets better, otherwise change the abuse for what you prefer.

This would be true if the abuse was the main focus of my life. But it isn't. It's simply a tool to get me from point A in my thinking to point B.

There is no point resisting it, or rising above it unless there is something to gain from it. It seems here you could gain strength of character, but it is up to you, once again it is your show and you can do as you please.

Strength is being able to ignore it. I never want to be able to ignore it.

And ignoring abuse, doing as you said and not letting it affect me, is not going to help me at all. I don't believe in growing a thick skin, discarding the opinions of others even if they're meant to hurt me. They say it because it means something. Ignoring it means we lose that meaning.

If happiness was the most important thing to me, I would be happy all the time. As you can see by the abuse in my relationship, it's not. It's understanding. And if he were all nice and dandy, understanding wouldn't be necessary.

Every "bad" thing we experience is just another tool used by the Universe to get us to think in the manner we need to in order to manifest our dreams. Why would we ever want that to stop?

/<3

[Analytheque]

Originally Posted by Karanime

Why are you assuming the abuse came from a force I wasn't able to control?



I have a question… what's the difference between positivity and happiness? Because if they're the same thing, theoretically, if you think being beaten up and abused is a positive thing, then you can have a "perfect" relationship, where you're completely happy.



/<3

I read a theory in high school from some foreign journal. In it, the guy was proposing that given time and an environment free of outside stimuli, he could raise infants to believe that pain was a positive reaction.

My answer to this is that REGARDLESS of how you view your happiness, things that affect you negatively (especially, but not always limited to, physical harm) are just that, harmful. A rose by any other name...

The way your stating the proposed reaction to abuse is almost the same, although it doesn't involve infants (Mental infancy might come into play in a relationship of that nature though) and although i obviously can't prove you wrong, it does surprise and disturb me slightly.

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by nicbrahms

I think it is to do with vibration too.

I have intended my boyfriend change or be more the way I want him to be and it does work, though it was never an abusive relationship, however, even the small things got ironed out.

Anyway when you change your vibration you start to clash with people who don't match your vibration, I had this happen with my boyfriend in the early days. I would be super happy and he would be super negative. We ended up having a weekend of arguments and I had thoughts about leaving the relationship, however come Monday he had unknowingly raised his vibration to match mine, it was quite astonishing how he changed and became positive and lovely over night.

Also, when your vibration is where it is you start to move away from people that don't complement it or you change their vibration. You can also clash with people who are of similar high vibration, almost like you are squaring up subconsciously.

Anyway I could not envision if my vibration was high, why on earth I would be having anything even resembling abuse in my life. It would not exist in my high vibration world, and indeed it doesn't.

I would imagine a part of you is playing with your reality and that is fine too, after all you are supposed to play with it.

And don't think that changing the bad means losing the good it doesn't have to be that way, you would just change your reality where you are interacting with a different version of the same person. A version more in synch with your vibe.

Yeah, you seemed to be saying the same thing I was in this post. Though I disagree with the idea that you should make anyone "change" or "be more the way you want him to be," it was clarified with what you said in the last sentence--it's a different version of the same person. You never change them fundamentally.

The mistake here is in thinking the person you're with is an outside circumstance. You somehow made the relationship better. You were the reason his perceived "vibe" changed. Until that point, there was something more important than having a "perfect" relationship.

If abuse doesn't exist in your world, why are you acknowledging it exists at all?

Because it doesn't. And I'm not sure you know why.

/<3

[Analytheque]

Plus, your saying the Universe creates you? or your intentions? or your direction?

Seems a silly thought to me.

And while happiness might not be your manifest right now, it damn well should be.

I'll agree that the abuse is there for a reason, but there are many "reasons" to also stop the damn abuse... and while you did manifest the abuse, that doesn't mean you can't learn from that and STOP that manifestation. Its ok to backtrack and stop, stop STOP.

I refuse to acknowledge a universe that creates abuse to teach you a lesson either, unless that lesson is that you dont want to be abused.

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by Analytheque

I read a theory in high school from some foreign journal. In it, the guy was proposing that given time and an environment free of outside stimuli, he could raise infants to believe that pain was a positive reaction.

My answer to this is that REGARDLESS of how you view your happiness, things that affect you negatively (especially, but not always limited to, physical harm) are just that, harmful. A rose by any other name...

The way your stating the proposed reaction to abuse is almost the same, although it doesn't involve infants (Mental infancy might come into play in a relationship of that nature though) and although i obviously can't prove you wrong, it does surprise and disturb me slightly.

Lol. I believe him.

Negative things are always negative... isn't that why we call them negative? And, as it stands, I did say it could theoretically make you happy, but I don't care to test it. I'm sure that would involve all manner of self-esteem issues. But, hell, you're happy, right? So what does it matter? /sarcasm.

I think the reason my posts have become so disturbing is because people don't seem to understand that we're not looking for happiness. For a time, I actually used that as a gauge for people, to see who was conscious and who wasn't.

If you truly were searching for happiness, you would already have it. We're not looking for a state. We're not looking for a thing. We're not looking for a feeling. We're not looking for anything in particular--money, power, fame, whatever.

I think we just want to keep looking.

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by Analytheque

Plus, your saying the Universe creates you? or your intentions? or your direction?

What? No!

And while happiness might not be your manifest right now, it damn well should be.

I have to challenge that. Why "should" I want to be happy?

I'll agree that the abuse is there for a reason, but there are many "reasons" to also stop the damn abuse... and while you did manifest the abuse, that doesn't mean you can't learn from that and STOP that manifestation. Its ok to backtrack and stop, stop STOP.

I refuse to acknowledge a universe that creates abuse to teach you a lesson either, unless that lesson is that you dont want to be abused.

What is with this hatred of abuse? I don't get it. Are we acknowledging that this world has negatives? Because it doesn't.

The negative is actually the positive. Actually, to rephrase, it's all relative. You can call abuse whatever you want to call it, and to me, giving it a negative connotation gave it just the right kind of power to help me in what I wanted to do. And being happy was not what I wanted to do.

Why stop? If I'm the one who started it, and I knew I was starting it... why would I stop? Starting it was kind of the point.

You're mowing the lawn, and you realize your lawn mower is cutting the grass. Do you stop?

What?

/<3

[blossom]

You're really not making much sense karanime, gotta say.

Abuse is harmful, it feels bad and it's not acceptable, nor is it conducive to living a harmonious life, which most people...not you by the sounds of it, but most others actually want. Why would you choose to remain with someone who harms you unless you are a masochist and like to be abused? The lesson of abuse is to not stand for it, and to reach for greater self-worth so you don't attract any more of it.

You seem to be saying that it's right to want to stay in an abusive situation, and it's wrong to want to be happy?? You also seem to be contradicting yourself and saying one thing, only to say the total opposite in the next post to what you previously said.

It's very confusing actually...plus, you are speaking with an air of absolute rightness, as though you are dictating to everyone here, how we should all be thinking. Why? Why should we all think the way you do?

Pardon my french, but you seem to be talking out your a**e here

[nicbrahms]

If you read my previous posts I already said that all is neutral and if you are playing with your reality then that is fine.

However, I must agree with Blossom, you are making no sense.

If you have manifested an abusive relationship, then I doubt it is actually abusive, I think you have just named it wrong. After all if you are not suffering any abuse as you seem to imply you are not then it is not.

Also you said you were not letting it effect you and then you say letting it effect you is the point.

I think life is experience and however anyone wants to experience their life is fine, I too have gone from high to low vibration in the past to mix things up a bit.

Do what you want, however you not doing yourself any favours with your explanation here. But then I guess you don't care or its part of your play.

[Karanime]

Lmao, sorry.

I know I'm right, but I also know I'm NOT explaining it correctly at all.

I know what I'm trying to say, but I'm not sure how to say it.

Yeah, I've named it wrong... I don't know whether to use the term for clarification, or to just throw it out altogether.

I guess I really don't know what I'm saying, lol.

Right now, my challenge is clarifying this idea. When I posted everything, I just blurted out the best approximation and hoped everyone would get it. I can see that's not working...

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by blossom

You seem to be saying that it's right to want to stay in an abusive situation, and it's wrong to want to be happy??

There's something I can hold onto...

I think it's stupid that people say they want to be happy. Like I said, if they truly wanted to be happy, and that was the most important thing, they would be. All the time.

But they're not, so obviously, something's more important than being happy.

In my case, I get sick of being happy sometimes. In those times, I deliberately piss myself off, and the Universe so gladly helps.

I called it abuse because it hurt, but if there's a word that isn't abuse, that still hurts, then it was that instead. On the outside, it looked like he was hurting me, but my choice of reaction was what was actually doing the hurting. Through that experience, I learned that my reactions were the abuse. I was abusing myself. And then I learned to stop.

And then, no matter what happened afterwards, whether it looked like abuse or not, it wasn't. 'Cause I refused to abuse myself.

Does that make a little more sense?

/<3

[Karanime]

Yeah, I totally screwed up all the other posts.

Ask me more questions... I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

/<3

[rei]

Originally Posted by Karanime

If you're in a situation where there is any good at all, there is no instance in which you should leave that good behind. Never sacrifice the good for the bad, or else you'll have more situations of the same.

If you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, the answer is not to leave the relationship.

The answer is to not be affected by the abuse.

Don't tell the Universe you will sacrifice the good to escape the bad. What does that show in you? That you'll run from something that makes you happy, if it means it's inconvenient?

You're not in an abusive relationship. Their words are their own, and you know they don't affect you. You can change the relationship this way. You don't have to run. You can keep the good and discard the bad.

Intentions start in the mind, not in the body. It is with thought, not action that we re-create our realities. If you can change the way you think about your life, instead of making physical changes to it, you leave the Universe to do its part with no effort from you. As it should be.

Do not sacrifice--the Universe will think it's okay to destroy the things you love.

I will never give it that permission.

/<3

oh dear... you're entitled to your own perspective on this, of course.
but i think 99.99% of individuals in a relationship that feels emotionally abusive are better off finding the inner strength to realize they deserve better. that may involve leaving, or it may involve actual assertiveness to shift the dynamics of the relationship.

i think the perspective you offer could have the effect (could, not would) of that person on the 'receiving' end trying to convince themselves it is worth it to stay, pretending to NOT allow the emotional arrows to gradually tear them down. until such a person finally does get into a situation where the other party relates to them in a way that honors their inherent worth as a person. at that point, the one who was receiving the emotional friction will be more likely to reject and invalidate all the evidence that he or she actually IS inherently worthy. (nudge nudge God/karma/how can it allow this thread...)

so, i think, if a person could fully and completely accept this perspective, okay. but i think it's much more possible to only pretend you accept it, and in the meantime the self-worth continues to dissolve. no thank you.

[blossom]

Through that experience, I learned that my reactions were the abuse. I was abusing myself. And then I learned to stop.

And then, no matter what happened afterwards, whether it looked like abuse or not, it wasn't. 'Cause I refused to abuse myself.

Does that make a little more sense?/<3[/QUOTE]

Yes, this is starting to make alot more sense to me. I guess it depends on the level of abuse and how often it is happening. From what you have said, it makes me think this was just a one off, or that it doesn't happen that regularly, in which case we do have the final say as to whether we will allow our partner, or anyone elses, abusive behaviour to hurt us, or whether we can deal with it effectively...though I feel like now I'm contradicting myself when I say that words are powerful and whilst we can decide not to allow ourselves to be affected...words can cut us like a knife, words can hurt or heal, and depending on how high our self-esteem is to start with, it could go either way.
If it happens all the time though, this is different and it needs to be dealt with by removing yourself from the situation...sometimes permanently!

[Analytheque]

Originally Posted by Karanime

There's something I can hold onto...

I think it's stupid that people say they want to be happy. Like I said, if they truly wanted to be happy, and that was the most important thing, they would be. All the time.

But they're not, so obviously, something's more important than being happy.

In my case, I get sick of being happy sometimes. In those times, I deliberately piss myself off, and the Universe so gladly helps. /<3

I'm going to throw an apology out there for how i worded my other posts. Nothing personal and sorry.



I would say however that people manifesting emotions aside from happiness in their lives is directly caused by their environment, past experiences, or their thought process.
Something in them has disabled them from recognizing either that happiness is the ultimate goal, or the situation they've placed themselves in is resulting in them being unable to attain a state of being happy, all the time.

Or you could be talking about the importance of being happy as a given, but nothing is really more important than being happy, regardless of the emotions people themselves are manifesting.

Just cause the tree's there doesn't mean you have to climb it, even though you know the view will be so much nicer at the top.

I also want to add that happiness is also relative in some aspects being as virtually no one is happy 100 percent of the time, but its being able to maintain a positive outlook, stay focused, and deal properly with the other emotions that is most vital.

Originally Posted by Karanime

I called it abuse because it hurt, but if there's a word that isn't abuse, that still hurts, then it was that instead. On the outside, it looked like he was hurting me, but my choice of reaction was what was actually doing the hurting. Through that experience, I learned that my reactions were the abuse. I was abusing myself. And then I learned to stop.

And then, no matter what happened afterwards, whether it looked like abuse or not, it wasn't. 'Cause I refused to abuse myself.

Does that make a little more sense?

/<3

It makes sense, and its noble sounding, but really? In some instances your psyche really is letting you know that you are not in the right place, and that you need to leave to prevent further happenings. There is no accounting for free will in any mantra or spiritual teaching; eg. No one can predict wether or not an abusive boyfriend will one day push it too far. (as if one time wasn't enough, or even if it was fatal the first time!?!?!?)

Are you saying that you reacted by not letting it happen again, or did it happen multiple times and you are saying you learned to avoid feeling the pain.

Is this Physical, like fist or something? Or verbal?

[blossom]

You have not mentioned whether this is a regular occurance or just a one off, so I will say that if this is happening regularly, then your line of thinking could easily be percieved by an outsider (like me) as the classic mentality of an abuse victim, where you are blaming yourseef instead of placing the responsability where it is meant to be, with the abuser.

But then there are many people who have this pattern in them, and they unconsciously seek out abuse from someone who has watched their mother be abused by their father as a child, and think this is how to relate to women, so they will often create the scenario in the first place, where they piss the guy off to invoke that abuse, which is what they experience as 'love' in their worlds.

Not really knowing your situation, it is hard to tell?

Also, everyone not being happy 100% of the time has nothing to do with them not wanting to be enough, or it not being that important to them, it has everything to do with their current circumstances, whether they are going through hell in their lives (which most people do at some stage), whether they are stuck in an illusionary way of thinking and think that money is what will lead to happiness.

There are many, MANY varying reasons why people aren't totally happy...not just one simplified version.

If you were a child prostitute in Thailand, sold into the sex slave trade at 9, had 5 kids by the time you were 15 (by clients and from being raped by your pimps) and then forced to give them up for adoption so you could keep working, and had never heard of LOA, do you think you'd agree with you?

[nicbrahms]

Originally Posted by Karanime

There's something I can hold onto...

I think it's stupid that people say they want to be happy. Like I said, if they truly wanted to be happy, and that was the most important thing, they would be. All the time.

But they're not, so obviously, something's more important than being happy.

In my case, I get sick of being happy sometimes. In those times, I deliberately piss myself off, and the Universe so gladly helps.

I called it abuse because it hurt, but if there's a word that isn't abuse, that still hurts, then it was that instead. On the outside, it looked like he was hurting me, but my choice of reaction was what was actually doing the hurting. Through that experience, I learned that my reactions were the abuse. I was abusing myself. And then I learned to stop.

And then, no matter what happened afterwards, whether it looked like abuse or not, it wasn't. 'Cause I refused to abuse myself.

Does that make a little more sense?

/<3

I said in my last post it wasn't abuse and looks like I was right.

Peace out chicken

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by rei

oh dear... you're entitled to your own perspective on this, of course.
but i think 99.99% of individuals in a relationship that feels emotionally abusive are better off finding the inner strength to realize they deserve better. that may involve leaving, or it may involve actual assertiveness to shift the dynamics of the relationship.

i think the perspective you offer could have the effect (could, not would) of that person on the 'receiving' end trying to convince themselves it is worth it to stay, pretending to NOT allow the emotional arrows to gradually tear them down. until such a person finally does get into a situation where the other party relates to them in a way that honors their inherent worth as a person. at that point, the one who was receiving the emotional friction will be more likely to reject and invalidate all the evidence that he or she actually IS inherently worthy. (nudge nudge God/karma/how can it allow this thread...)

so, i think, if a person could fully and completely accept this perspective, okay. but i think it's much more possible to only pretend you accept it, and in the meantime the self-worth continues to dissolve. no thank you.

If that's what someone else got, then that's what they were supposed to get. They'll be fine.

Yes, they're better off finding better, but the point is, will they? I didn't.

And, as a side note, if you need evidence that you're worthy... you don't actually believe you're worthy. True self-esteem can't be broken down, evidence or not.

Isn't it this forum that believes in trusting yourself?

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by nicbrahms

I said in my last post it wasn't abuse and looks like I was right.

Peace out chicken

You were.

And -poke- I'm vegan. :P

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by blossom

Yes, this is starting to make alot more sense to me. I guess it depends on the level of abuse and how often it is happening. From what you have said, it makes me think this was just a one off, or that it doesn't happen that regularly, in which case we do have the final say as to whether we will allow our partner, or anyone elses, abusive behaviour to hurt us, or whether we can deal with it effectively...though I feel like now I'm contradicting myself when I say that words are powerful and whilst we can decide not to allow ourselves to be affected...words can cut us like a knife, words can hurt or heal, and depending on how high our self-esteem is to start with, it could go either way.
If it happens all the time though, this is different and it needs to be dealt with by removing yourself from the situation...sometimes permanently!

But, don't you get it? It's not the words! It's how we perceive the words.

All that is is is. Besides what you can see, nothing actually exists. Meaning is only in your head.

So, really, words can't hurt. Only our interpretation of words can hurt.

Self-esteem, as I see it, isn't a high or low. Either you have it or you don't. You either trust yourself or you don't. And if you do trust yourself, no evidence, words, or facts in the world can change that.

It's not the circumstances. It's you. You can do anything, even this!

Isn't that amazing?

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by Analytheque

I would say however that people manifesting emotions aside from happiness in their lives is directly caused by their environment, past experiences, or their thought process.
Something in them has disabled them from recognizing either that happiness is the ultimate goal, or the situation they've placed themselves in is resulting in them being unable to attain a state of being happy, all the time.

No, no no no no no!

You create all of your reality. There is no environment, there are no past experiences, and the thought process is completely you.

If the goal were truly to be happy, we could all attain that goal in an instant. But my point is, after that... what the hell happens next? Okay, so the human race is happy, all the damn time. Paradoxically, a lot of us wouldn't be happy being happy. We want something else. In fact, a lot of times, we want to be sad, or angry, or something other than happy. ****, ANYTHING other than happy.

How much of the human race is lacking the self-awareness to realize this?

I'm sure you know how to be happy all the time. It's easy to always look up. I mean, what reason do you have not to, besides your own choice? Choose to be happy for a day. Ridiculously, stupidly, out-of-your mind happy. The best happy you can fathom.

Then come back and tell me that you completely enjoyed it. Because if you have, then you've just set up the rest of your life, forever.

As for me, I want something more. Something different.

Or you could be talking about the importance of being happy as a given, but nothing is really more important than being happy, regardless of the emotions people themselves are manifesting.

As I've said before, people who know how to be happy on command know there are more important things.

Just cause the tree's there doesn't mean you have to climb it, even though you know the view will be so much nicer at the top.

I've climbed the tree. Multiple times. I can climb the tree in a second, if I wanted to. But the view isn't as great as you think. Especially when there's another, better, taller tree just a ways away.

But if you've never climbed the tree, you'd never know that.

I also want to add that happiness is also relative in some aspects being as virtually no one is happy 100 percent of the time, but its being able to maintain a positive outlook, stay focused, and deal properly with the other emotions that is most vital.

That's what I mean though. I can do that on command. I'm not happy 100% of the time 'cause I'd get sick of it. I know that if I wanted to be happy, more than anything else, I could achieve it. Wholly, fully.

But I don't.

It makes sense, and its noble sounding, but really? In some instances your psyche really is letting you know that you are not in the right place, and that you need to leave to prevent further happenings. There is no accounting for free will in any mantra or spiritual teaching; eg. No one can predict wether or not an abusive boyfriend will one day push it too far. (as if one time wasn't enough, or even if it was fatal the first time!?!?!?)

I see that physical abuse is another category entirely... which I didn't make clear in the first post, and I have to admit, I really have no idea how to handle. I've never been in that situation, so I have no truths pertaining to it. Maybe I'll try that in the future...

All that is is is. Nothing's going to happen. Nothing has happened. The only thing that exists is the now. You don't "need" to do anything. You especially don't have to "prevent" anything.

I am, however, saying that pushing it too far doesn't matter. You decide what happens from here. The abusive boyfriend is not an outside circumstance. You're controlling him, whether you realize it or not. And if you want to play the victim, go ahead. If that's what you really want, no one can stop you.

If you know you control everything, how can you ever not know what's going to happen next?

Are you saying that you reacted by not letting it happen again, or did it happen multiple times and you are saying you learned to avoid feeling the pain.

Is this Physical, like fist or something? Or verbal?

Nah, it's verbal. I didn't realize I was the one making it happen, and I was seriously disempowering myself. I started attributing all of my problems to the outside world. Oh, they don't like me 'cause I'm a girl. They like him better because he's more interesting. He's getting sick of me 'cause I treat him like trash. Whatever, blah, blah, all that BS.

But he wasn't doing anything. They weren't doing anything. I was the only one doing anything. And I could change it.

And that changed everything.

And... I think that's what I mean.

/<3

[rei]

Originally Posted by Karanime

If that's what someone else got, then that's what they were supposed to get. They'll be fine.

Yes, they're better off finding better, but the point is, will they? I didn't.

And, as a side note, if you need evidence that you're worthy... you don't actually believe you're worthy. True self-esteem can't be broken down, evidence or not.

Isn't it this forum that believes in trusting yourself?

/<3

well, if you didn't find better, that doesn't mean you can't. it may simply mean you didn't persist or didn't feel like you really deserved it.

trusting yourself, of course. but what if you are trusting the negative messages that were fed to you over years and years? that means you're trusting the patterns started "outside" your individuated consciousness, over trusting the core self.

plenty of people confuse the core self with the external expression, or the layers in between. if they trust the layers created by the messages they hear from others, then i agree they aren't coming from true self-esteem. but such a person may act in ways that show they have convinced themselves the criticism is true. in this situation, i think it may be an act of mental masturbation or self-defeating to suggest there is no reason to take action. sounds like a cop out to say, 'oh, well, if i feel awful about myself, then i didn't have true self-worth to begin with.' i mean, if a person wants to feel awful about themselves, then okay. most folks i know, even if they are masochistic or self-sabotaging, don't actually want to feel that way. it's just working from old programming, which you convinced yourself was true about you now or then when it was ultimately true about you never.

maybe i am totally misunderstanding the point here... it sounds like a way to accept and put up with behaviors that trigger pain when there's other options that don't involve a resigned, apparently defeatist attitude. it's one thing to realize you created it and use that to fuel positive action, it's another to say, 'i created this, so there is no reason to do anything about it. i choose to accept the behavior since i created it.' of course, that is a valid choice. i am just unsure that this perspective, in and of itself, will lead to anything other than detachment and avoidance. if it's matched with other ideas or plans, then sure, i see the potential benefit.

saying, 'i accept that i created this,' without any action, sounds like it could also be a veiled attempt to continue accepting the experience of being a victim.

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by blossom

You have not mentioned whether this is a regular occurance or just a one off, so I will say that if this is happening regularly, then your line of thinking could easily be percieved by an outsider (like me) as the classic mentality of an abuse victim, where you are blaming yourseef instead of placing the responsability where it is meant to be, with the abuser.

Ah, I get it. LoA forum, though. If we can do anything, we also have the responsibility to do so. Yo know that.

But then there are many people who have this pattern in them, and they unconsciously seek out abuse from someone who has watched their mother be abused by their father as a child, and think this is how to relate to women, so they will often create the scenario in the first place, where they piss the guy off to invoke that abuse, which is what they experience as 'love' in their worlds.

I don't see anything wrong with that... Just because we think abuse is bad doesn't mean someone else can't enjoy it. Why should we impose our views on them? And what if we're wrong?

Also, everyone not being happy 100% of the time has nothing to do with them not wanting to be enough, or it not being that important to them, it has everything to do with their current circumstances, whether they are going through hell in their lives (which most people do at some stage), whether they are stuck in an illusionary way of thinking and think that money is what will lead to happiness.

Okay, no, that's BS. Outside circumstance does not exist. Must I reiterate the forum we're in?

As for the illusionary way of thinking, it's obvious that maintaining the illusion is more important than just being happy.

I'm coming from the point of view that we can do anything with a snap of our fingers. I can be happy at will, but since I can, I don't. If I thought I couldn't, I'd probably really, really want to.

But this isn't about the people who think they can't. This is the intention-manifestation forum. This is for people who know they can.

There are many, MANY varying reasons why people aren't totally happy...not just one simplified version.

Outside reasons. Which don't exist. You know that.

We're the reason we're not 100% happy all the time, whether we do it consciously or not.

If you were a child prostitute in Thailand, sold into the sex slave trade at 9, had 5 kids by the time you were 15 (by clients and from being raped by your pimps) and then forced to give them up for adoption so you could keep working, and had never heard of LOA, do you think you'd agree with you?

No. And it wouldn't matter, because that would be an experience I chose, whether I knew at the time or not.

I have a question... do you think that situation would be a horrible thing?

I think it would be interesting. Far from fun, but an experience worth having.

/<3