Serious question: pornography vs. Law of Attraction
I don't doubt the validity of the Law of Attraction. I've had things happen to me that have led me to believe in it.
My question is about single men who watch a lot of porn / fantasize about sex with beautiful naked women a lot.
How would one parse the logic of the Law of Attraction to understand why these people rarely get laid?
Because deep down inside they know they're not gonna get laid...so they resort to pornography...
Power, victory, confidence and lots of sex - the world is mine!
You can either watch porn while screaming out loud "Confidence, power, victory and lots of sex - the world is mine!" or watch it in a bitter state of depression, shutting yourself out emotionally. For a good caricature of the first type, see one of my favorite web comics Least I Could Do.
Reminds me of when I used to write strange sex-related stories as a horny 17-year old. Over a the following years, most of these stories came true. Now in a serious relationship, I'm afraid to write any more. ;)
-SS (Mood 1)
Expect excuses. ;)
With women the "law of attraction" seems to work in reverse, the more you are thinking pervy thoughts the less "attraction" you are going to get. If you act like you couldn't care less about getting a woman (and are good looking) you'll probably score.
I know single men... and happily married men... all have watched/seen or continue to watch/see pornography. Some have had better sex lives than the others - and their marital status isn't as great an influence as you'd think in some cases. Some happily watch pornography with thier wives too. :D
The availablity of sexual material (to watch, order, rent, download etc) these days makes it kind of a natural occurance to those who would seek it out. In earlier times one had to have enough guts to walk up to the lady at the counter of your 7-11... stand in line with the people buying gas... and lay that "juggs" magazine right there on the counter. OR one had to be willing to be seen running into an adult video store, LOL.
These days its only a couple of clicks away to those who want to find it. I don't think it really makes any difference in the kind of person you are and the kind of relationships you can have.
My 2 cents. :D (I have been happily married for almost 10 years now... draw your own conclusions :p )
You can watch porn and still feel like you cannot attract a mate. It all comes down to what you believe in your subconscious.
>>Some happily watch pornography with thier wives too.<<
Since sex requires two people and, presumably, the manifestations and intentions of two people, I am betting THESE guys who are watching pornography are manifesting sex.
The OP is completely leaving out the other person involved for him to get laid. He would have to find a woman intending pornographic sex with someone like himself. I have to confess that I have not watched much porn, but from a woman's perspective, what I saw was NOT what I am fantasizing about.
Which I will NOT go into to....
as others of said how you are thinking about it would be important - its like seeing a beautiful woman walking down the street and thinking she's beautiful i want her, but she probably doesn't want anything to do with me -
or fantasizing about bedding some actress - its fantasizing - which i assume men do when the watch porn too, vs visualizing.
More Masturbation = Less Sex
I am not an expert in this topic and I haven't given it any thought, but I have heard that men who masturbate a lot tend to project a disinterest in sex, because they don't "need it" as badly as a man who does not masturbate, and hence they do not attract women as much.
That is of course assuming that men who watch pornography actually masturbate while watching, which I think is a given. But then again, there could be men who watch for entertainment and educational purposes.
This theory about men who masturbate and their disinterest in sex came from a psychology class I took in college. It probably has some correlation to the law of attraction. It makes sense in my head, but since I am no expert in masturbation, I can't explain it in scientific terms.
hi, first post. i found this forum by a search on porno addiction.
i to have asked this very question...being a student of psi. sex magick is a form unto itself. looks like the bases have been covered tho; intentful/focussed/Non-attached visualization as to fantasy. that's one aspect.
the other of course being what's in the subconscious. for me, it seems to be all shadow...
but thirdly, it's what you think (or Not) about once the "right" has been completed. ie., you can't dwell on it, or the desired result or you'll break up the thoughtform.
so you need to use symbols...if you must ponder. ponder the employed symbols, Not the actual desire.
oh, you might want to employ venusian symbolism as well. and do it during a venusian hour....but be careful of the moon phase (yes, there's quite a bit to real magick)!
anyway, i tend to shut down around pretty women. i (simply) don't want to betray my desires. i don't want them to think i like them. they get enough of that as it is (and in my weaker moments this causes resentment).
i'll be posting at the other threads on this subject.
but i do feel there's alot to sex magick. solo that is (it's supposedly much more potent with a partner). when you are doing it...you can direct that raw sexual energy into various parts of the body or even thoughtforms. i'm still working on the specifics. eastern methods come into play here of course...
...but me thinks it should be more straightfoward. maybe not. what they do is actually Convert the raw energy into a more refined/"spiritualized" energy.
lastly, we are not all created equal. duh, but some folk's sex drive is far more intense. i'm a (5 planet) scorpio.... enough said.
The unconscious mind really is a lot like a computer. It does exactly what you tell it to do and takes things very literally. And when parsing language, there are certain things that do not compute, that it just doesn't understand. For one, it doesn't understand negatives, ie; the word NOT/NO or future tense.
So when you say to yourself "Do not screw up", all your unconscious mind understands is "Do ___ screw up".
It also doesn't understand the future tense. Phrases like 'I want' and 'I will have' are weak. This is why framing affirmations in the present tense is so important. If you say "I will have a gorgeous, sexy body", your unconscious little computer parser says "Will have... that means you don't have it yet, so I'll file this one in the someday/maybe box"
Fantisy means that you are putting it out in the future, in some other time and place. The physical sensations happen in the now, but the unconscious understands that the feelings are made up and being reserved for the future.
To attract sex, one must first stop focusing on the lack of sex. I'm not saying stop masterbating, but stop whining about 'not getting any' and focus on something productive (hey, most women find productive men very sexy).
I just wanted to respond to this and give you a 'pretty woman's' point of view.
Shutting down around women is a bad idea. First of all, if you don't 'betray your desires', how do you expect them to be fulfilled?
Secondly, it's not such a terrible tragedy to have one more man with a pick-up line approach us. In fact, most of us see it as a compliment. Will you get blown off sometimes? Yes. Just think of that as practice.
The bottom line is, you have to ask for what you want. Women respect that, and the ones that are bothered by it are either annoyed because you've got bad timing or have low self esteem.
You want a confident, patient woman, right?
alot of good blurbs concerning visualization. let's see if i can top them...fake it till you make it. nah...
although i agree with the basic dynamic (found in pop psychology and new age magick books etc), a part of me says that if this LOA was as certain as claimed, the world would be a different place.
but i do have days with the polar opposite outlook. the mind really can generate synchronicities - negative ones to.
there's more stress and toxins in general these days so...
yes, i should'nt shut down - it just zaps my subtle energy body. i probably will tho (ignore) as it's more than esteem. (at least in my own mind perhaps) i've problems they just don't want to deal with. it's as simple as that.
forgot to mention and this is truly coming in from another angle. using hookers to break the ice. seriously, this has been recommended for those (geek etc) types who are just so freaked out to get the ball rolling. it makes sense to me tho i've yet to do even this (tho i did in the army way back).
it's to boil off some of that desperation/ineptness that other women pick up on.
i just think the sexual drive is a nuisance. do we see animals doing everyday?
i would really like to read the inside story of porno model's lives. how is it they do all this!?
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