Busting Loose question

[On A Lark]

While reading through the thread on 68 seconds of continuous thought I kept coming back to the BL method, parts of which I am still grappling with but I keep getting this strong feeling I am supposed to come back to it and be persistent, so that is what I'm doing.

In doing the process, you are supposed to "dive into the feeling of discomfort". Is this what is meant by the idea that "What you resist, persists."? Is this really why we're here, to experience every kind of limiting feeling imaginable and the goal is to just stop and really FEEL it, so you can kind of check it off the list and move on?

I'm asking because in the brief time I've been working with BL things in the hologram have actually gotten a bit worse, but I am feeling better so feel like I might be on to something. Actually, what I mostly feel is profoundly confused and it's new to me, kinda thought I had this "meaning of life" stuff figured out but then considered the possibility that it's all just made up, none of it is real and there's NO rhyme or reason. It feels lonely somehow.

[Wax Frog]

I've become fond of mixing BL with "The Presence Process", as they fill in gaps for each other, in my own view.

I have forgotten some particulars as it's been nearly a year since I worked with TPP, but it basically states that we will continue to replay old dramas until we face and drain the emotional energy from them. That would definitely support the idea of 'diving in' versus resist/persist. The other point made in BL, if subtly, is that there is alot of this stuff to get through, so we do indeed have to be patient and tell ourselves that "this too shall, in fact, pass"... I admit I'm running mostly on faith and a what-have-I-got-to-lose mindset, but I forge ahead nonetheless...

[Angela]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Is this really why we're here, to experience every kind of limiting feeling imaginable and the goal is to just stop and really FEEL it, so you can kind of check it off the list and move on?

Hi, On A Lark! I don't know if experiencing EVERY kind of limiting feeling imaginable is why we're here (that might be a bit much for the lifespan we've designed), but you may want to see that really accepting all of those adventurous explorations of limits and breaking through them is a choice you're making that could give you a tremendous amount of compassion and flexibility -- in other words, a real talent for making a positive difference for others, if that's a game that interests you.

... what I mostly feel is profoundly confused ....It feels lonely somehow.

If it's discomfort, do the process on it!

[On A Lark]

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. You were actually both instrumental in leading me to BL...I was searching online in the vein of "beyond manifesting" and it lead me to these forums and the specific BL thread which you were both very active on. Pretty nifty of me to have created you both in that way, thanks for playing your parts to perfection

Waxy, I am right there with you on the "faith and what have I got to lose" part. I can't explain it, but I know the BL information is what I am supposed to be focusing on right now. I guess part of me is dreading the non stop painful processes that RS described in the book. The first few times I did the process I really felt it, and felt the power coming back to me. But now it's just not the same feeling, I am feeling the discomfort as much as I can but not the exploding the egg part. Somehow I still feel like I am doing something "wrong". I guess it's because I'm wanting the hologram to change and I'm having trouble breaking away from that idea.

Angela, I think I"m having trouble accepting that this is all an adventure of my own creating. I am very goal focused, and I think I'm struggling with what's the end game here? What is the point? That there is no point? It somehow is all feeling like a giant waste of time. I understand what you are saying in terms of making a positive difference for others...but really there are no others so why would I care about making a difference at all?

A little background on me, I've been working with Reiki, both healing and teaching, for years. When I first found it, it profoundly changed me. I have dealt with depression all my life and finding Reiki was like lifting a mental fog that I'd been walking around in. I used it on myself, in my previous profession (in health care) with my patients, and in teaching it to others. I just started to gradually move away from it the last few years, as I changed professions and no longer had much time for it. I am working with it extensively again and using it to help me integrate all the new BL info, but it's a slow go.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

What is the point? That there is no point? It somehow is all feeling like a giant waste of time. I understand what you are saying in terms of making a positive difference for others...but really there are no others so why would I care about making a difference at all?

No point?!? You call expansion "no point"?!? What kind of creation of mine ARE you!????

I wouldn't say that "really there are no others." I would say that those who look like others are really aspects of Who I Am -- MY consciousness. Their being aspects of my consciousness is exactly why I would care about making a positive difference -- in the same way I care for my fingers and toes. The more I see "others" as aspects of my consciousness, the more compassion and concern I have for every one of the little creatures. (Well, some of them still look like pimples and ingrown hairs to me, to push that simile. ) My game is: expanding good-feeling for the entire organism. Why? Because it's fun. Because it feels good. Because if I was put here to play the game of being human, that feels like a really wonderful way to play it, and that's what I choose.

If what I or any other aspect of YOUR consciousness looks like a giant waste of time to you, there's no reason you *should* choose it. Choose something that inspires you, why doncha? That's what I'd do if I were you.

And I am.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Angela

If what I or any other aspect of YOUR consciousness looks like a giant waste of time to you, there's no reason you *should* choose it. Choose something that inspires you, why doncha? That's what I'd do if I were you.

And I am.

GREAT point! I think I am getting stuck in the "you have to work hard, you have to have a grand purpose, it all has to be difficult" vibe. Geez, does anyone else get sick of revisiting the same themes over and over? This is why I start to get a complex that I am doing something "wrong"...because the same issues keep coming up when I just want them to have been "dealt with" and over already.

I have never been an "enjoy the process" kind of person...I like getting to the end result. I think this is why I'm struggling so much...it's going to be a never-ending process with no appreciable results and I just have to learn to "like" it.

[Angela]

If it makes you feel any better, everyone has an old identity-level limiting belief ("gremlin") lurking in their depths.... and it's the "theme" that keeps coming up, having your buttons get pushed, demands to be dealt with, resolved, released, or let loose on the world.

You might want to look at what yours is, because just seeing it in the light of day takes away much of its power over you. To find it, look to see what you believe about yourself, a deeply unconscious level (like something your 3 year old self would say, not your grown-up, conscious, figuring-it-out enlightened self):

""you have to work hard, you have to have a grand purpose, it all has to be difficult" and that means that I am _______."

When you find it, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll see that it's been running you in every area of your life, beneath the level of your awareness.

Mine was "I am worthless."

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Waxy, I am right there with you on the "faith and what have I got to lose" part. I can't explain it, but I know the BL information is what I am supposed to be focusing on right now. I guess part of me is dreading the non stop painful processes that RS described in the book.

TPP makes it sound as if the process needn't be of agonizing proportions, though perhaps the gentle approach also goes more slowly. I wish I knew.

Somehow I still feel like I am doing something "wrong". I guess it's because I'm wanting the hologram to change and I'm having trouble breaking away from that idea.

I have the same problem. The idea that my circumstances derive from, and can only be changed by acting upon, what I perceive as external reality is quite seductive, given the convincing intensity and stability of the experience. I expect this is one of the biggest hurdles, if not the biggest.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

The idea that my circumstances derive from, and can only be changed by acting upon, what I perceive as external reality is quite seductive, given the convincing intensity and stability of the experience. I expect this is one of the biggest hurdles, if not the biggest.

.

I think you are correct, that this is maybe the biggest hurdle in terms of BL practice. I'm trying to dive into what exactly the discomfort for me is when I contemplate the idea that it's all a hologram. I can't quite isolate it.