Busting Loose question

[On A Lark]

While reading through the thread on 68 seconds of continuous thought I kept coming back to the BL method, parts of which I am still grappling with but I keep getting this strong feeling I am supposed to come back to it and be persistent, so that is what I'm doing.

In doing the process, you are supposed to "dive into the feeling of discomfort". Is this what is meant by the idea that "What you resist, persists."? Is this really why we're here, to experience every kind of limiting feeling imaginable and the goal is to just stop and really FEEL it, so you can kind of check it off the list and move on?

I'm asking because in the brief time I've been working with BL things in the hologram have actually gotten a bit worse, but I am feeling better so feel like I might be on to something. Actually, what I mostly feel is profoundly confused and it's new to me, kinda thought I had this "meaning of life" stuff figured out but then considered the possibility that it's all just made up, none of it is real and there's NO rhyme or reason. It feels lonely somehow.

[Wax Frog]

I've become fond of mixing BL with "The Presence Process", as they fill in gaps for each other, in my own view.

I have forgotten some particulars as it's been nearly a year since I worked with TPP, but it basically states that we will continue to replay old dramas until we face and drain the emotional energy from them. That would definitely support the idea of 'diving in' versus resist/persist. The other point made in BL, if subtly, is that there is alot of this stuff to get through, so we do indeed have to be patient and tell ourselves that "this too shall, in fact, pass"... I admit I'm running mostly on faith and a what-have-I-got-to-lose mindset, but I forge ahead nonetheless...

[Angela]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Is this really why we're here, to experience every kind of limiting feeling imaginable and the goal is to just stop and really FEEL it, so you can kind of check it off the list and move on?

Hi, On A Lark! I don't know if experiencing EVERY kind of limiting feeling imaginable is why we're here (that might be a bit much for the lifespan we've designed), but you may want to see that really accepting all of those adventurous explorations of limits and breaking through them is a choice you're making that could give you a tremendous amount of compassion and flexibility -- in other words, a real talent for making a positive difference for others, if that's a game that interests you.

... what I mostly feel is profoundly confused ....It feels lonely somehow.

If it's discomfort, do the process on it!

[On A Lark]

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. You were actually both instrumental in leading me to BL...I was searching online in the vein of "beyond manifesting" and it lead me to these forums and the specific BL thread which you were both very active on. Pretty nifty of me to have created you both in that way, thanks for playing your parts to perfection

Waxy, I am right there with you on the "faith and what have I got to lose" part. I can't explain it, but I know the BL information is what I am supposed to be focusing on right now. I guess part of me is dreading the non stop painful processes that RS described in the book. The first few times I did the process I really felt it, and felt the power coming back to me. But now it's just not the same feeling, I am feeling the discomfort as much as I can but not the exploding the egg part. Somehow I still feel like I am doing something "wrong". I guess it's because I'm wanting the hologram to change and I'm having trouble breaking away from that idea.

Angela, I think I"m having trouble accepting that this is all an adventure of my own creating. I am very goal focused, and I think I'm struggling with what's the end game here? What is the point? That there is no point? It somehow is all feeling like a giant waste of time. I understand what you are saying in terms of making a positive difference for others...but really there are no others so why would I care about making a difference at all?

A little background on me, I've been working with Reiki, both healing and teaching, for years. When I first found it, it profoundly changed me. I have dealt with depression all my life and finding Reiki was like lifting a mental fog that I'd been walking around in. I used it on myself, in my previous profession (in health care) with my patients, and in teaching it to others. I just started to gradually move away from it the last few years, as I changed professions and no longer had much time for it. I am working with it extensively again and using it to help me integrate all the new BL info, but it's a slow go.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

What is the point? That there is no point? It somehow is all feeling like a giant waste of time. I understand what you are saying in terms of making a positive difference for others...but really there are no others so why would I care about making a difference at all?

No point?!? You call expansion "no point"?!? What kind of creation of mine ARE you!????

I wouldn't say that "really there are no others." I would say that those who look like others are really aspects of Who I Am -- MY consciousness. Their being aspects of my consciousness is exactly why I would care about making a positive difference -- in the same way I care for my fingers and toes. The more I see "others" as aspects of my consciousness, the more compassion and concern I have for every one of the little creatures. (Well, some of them still look like pimples and ingrown hairs to me, to push that simile. ) My game is: expanding good-feeling for the entire organism. Why? Because it's fun. Because it feels good. Because if I was put here to play the game of being human, that feels like a really wonderful way to play it, and that's what I choose.

If what I or any other aspect of YOUR consciousness looks like a giant waste of time to you, there's no reason you *should* choose it. Choose something that inspires you, why doncha? That's what I'd do if I were you.

And I am.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Angela

If what I or any other aspect of YOUR consciousness looks like a giant waste of time to you, there's no reason you *should* choose it. Choose something that inspires you, why doncha? That's what I'd do if I were you.

And I am.

GREAT point! I think I am getting stuck in the "you have to work hard, you have to have a grand purpose, it all has to be difficult" vibe. Geez, does anyone else get sick of revisiting the same themes over and over? This is why I start to get a complex that I am doing something "wrong"...because the same issues keep coming up when I just want them to have been "dealt with" and over already.

I have never been an "enjoy the process" kind of person...I like getting to the end result. I think this is why I'm struggling so much...it's going to be a never-ending process with no appreciable results and I just have to learn to "like" it.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Waxy, I am right there with you on the "faith and what have I got to lose" part. I can't explain it, but I know the BL information is what I am supposed to be focusing on right now. I guess part of me is dreading the non stop painful processes that RS described in the book.

TPP makes it sound as if the process needn't be of agonizing proportions, though perhaps the gentle approach also goes more slowly. I wish I knew.

Somehow I still feel like I am doing something "wrong". I guess it's because I'm wanting the hologram to change and I'm having trouble breaking away from that idea.

I have the same problem. The idea that my circumstances derive from, and can only be changed by acting upon, what I perceive as external reality is quite seductive, given the convincing intensity and stability of the experience. I expect this is one of the biggest hurdles, if not the biggest.

[Angela]

If it makes you feel any better, everyone has an old identity-level limiting belief ("gremlin") lurking in their depths.... and it's the "theme" that keeps coming up, having your buttons get pushed, demands to be dealt with, resolved, released, or let loose on the world.

You might want to look at what yours is, because just seeing it in the light of day takes away much of its power over you. To find it, look to see what you believe about yourself, a deeply unconscious level (like something your 3 year old self would say, not your grown-up, conscious, figuring-it-out enlightened self):

""you have to work hard, you have to have a grand purpose, it all has to be difficult" and that means that I am _______."

When you find it, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll see that it's been running you in every area of your life, beneath the level of your awareness.

Mine was "I am worthless."

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

The idea that my circumstances derive from, and can only be changed by acting upon, what I perceive as external reality is quite seductive, given the convincing intensity and stability of the experience. I expect this is one of the biggest hurdles, if not the biggest.

.

I think you are correct, that this is maybe the biggest hurdle in terms of BL practice. I'm trying to dive into what exactly the discomfort for me is when I contemplate the idea that it's all a hologram. I can't quite isolate it.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Angela

If it makes you feel any better, everyone has an old identity-level limiting belief ("gremlin") lurking in their depths.... and it's the "theme" that keeps coming up, having your buttons get pushed, demands to be dealt with, resolved, released, or let loose on the world.

You might want to look at what yours is, because just seeing it in the light of day takes away much of its power over you. To find it, look to see what you believe about yourself, a deeply unconscious level (like something your 3 year old self would say, not your grown-up, conscious, figuring-it-out enlightened self):

""you have to work hard, you have to have a grand purpose, it all has to be difficult" and that means that I am _______."

When you find it, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll see that it's been running you in every area of your life, beneath the level of your awareness.

Mine was "I am worthless."

Wow, there's the ton of bricks. Thank you for saying that so succintly and clearly. I just read along with your sentence and just filled the blank right in without batting an eye or missing a beat..."and that means that I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

Oy vay. A whole 'nother level/depth of "I'm not good enough". It's where the depression stems from, it's the biggest issue I had to overcome to even take the step to learn Reiki and start a business. On the top superficial levels of course I "know" I'm good enough...but here I am looking around and realizing that I have created "I am not good enough" in every aspect of my current reality. Unbelievable. But believable too, given how ingrained the belief is and how little attention I've lately given to any kind of introspection and/or self-nurturing. Wow. Sorry this post is all over the place but this is all processing right now.

I need to go do the process and see where this leads me. Angela: THANK YOU. I was missing a plank here and looking around desperately for it and never thought to look down under my feet where it's always been. I'm gonna build a better plank.

[Angela]

I think these identity-level limiting beliefs are a common root of depression. We exert a tremendous amount of energy trying to prove their not true, and at the same time trying to avoid people finding out that they ARE true. It's exhausting!

But it's a huge step in freedom just bringing what was unconscious to consciousness, isn't it?

[On A Lark]

Just re-reading through my "stuff" from last night and wanted to thank you both for letting me snivel and get huffy there for a while! Your allowing me to question and providing just the right resistance to push against has been incredibly helpful.

It's been a challenging day, but good. I'm working on processing...and I'm trying to enjoy the process along the way

[Angela]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Just re-reading through my "stuff" from last night and wanted to thank you both for letting me snivel and get huffy there for a while! Your allowing me to question and providing just the right resistance to push against has been incredibly helpful.

It's been a challenging day, but good. I'm working on processing...and I'm trying to enjoy the process along the way

Snivel? Huffy???? All I saw was courageous, bold intention to expand.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Angela

Snivel? Huffy???? All I saw was courageous, bold intention to expand.

Thanks.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Just re-reading through my "stuff" from last night and wanted to thank you both for letting me snivel and get huffy there for a while! Your allowing me to question and providing just the right resistance to push against has been incredibly helpful.

With me, you can snivel all you want! The day may come when you get to help me through a spell like this

[edith]

Angela, can you expand on expansion? LOL

I want to know what expansion looks like. What do I do once I've expanded? All sweetness and light? Or are there so many eggs that we never really reach an egg-free space called expansion? Is it a spectrum thing, yada yada...

And behind this silly question is me, who is saying "You can't cheat like that!! She can't tell you! You're not supposed to think about what expansion is, you're just supposed to do the eggs, move to Phase II, and *then* you'll see!! Wanting to know what expansion is like is SO Phase I!!" Kinda feels like not being in the "in" group in high school.

I just realized that I need to do the process on my embarrassment to be still in Phase I.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by edith

...are there so many eggs that we never really reach an egg-free space called expansion? Is it a spectrum thing, yada yada...

If RS is correct and I'm reading him correctly, the eggs are nothing more than the mechanism for generating a stable 'reality'. Thus I would think that eggs can be eliminated entirely, but as a consequence we'd find ourselves with a metaphysical blank canvas and a desire to create a new game from scratch

[Angela]

Originally Posted by edith

I want to know what expansion looks like.

Just take a look in the mirror, you little expander, you.

You don't have to bust loose to expand. In the context in which I was speaking to our friend On A Lark, expansion just means seeing new possibility, choice and opportunity where you weren't seeing it a moment before.

[edith]

Originally Posted by Angela

expansion just means seeing new possibility, choice and opportunity where you weren't seeing it a moment before.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Merci!

[On A Lark]

Now hubs is reading BL, he can hardly put it down which is so exciting! He's an engineer and I know he will be able to relate to the quantum physics aspects of it and I can't wait to hear his interpretations.

A new question that hit me today. How can we harmonize the idea of subjective reality with the concept of LOA? I understand how RS describes LOA being limited in Phase I, but I'm wondering how can LOA work at all if we're not supposed to be trying to change the hologram? For me right now, any desire I have is directly related to changing the hologram. I'm having trouble reconciling the two ideas.

I can say that I've been better in the last day or two about actually stopping and working through the process when I get upset. It's helping, a lot.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

but I'm wondering how can LOA work at all if we're not supposed to be trying to change the hologram? For me right now, any desire I have is directly related to changing the hologram. I'm having trouble reconciling the two ideas.

RS himself writes that LOA doesn't work as popularly expressed until we're well into Phase 2. I got the impression that, until then, we're to trust our Expanded Selves with doing the life shifting while we concentrate on Processing.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

RS himself writes that LOA doesn't work as popularly expressed until we're well into Phase 2. I got the impression that, until then, we're to trust our Expanded Selves with doing the life shifting while we concentrate on Processing.

I can see I need to re-read some parts of the book yet again. But I think you are probably correct. I am going to continue to focus on doing the process.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

I can see I need to re-read some parts of the book yet again. But I think you are probably correct. I am going to continue to focus on doing the process.

He doesn't hit you over the head with it the way my condensed paraphrasal does, but it's in there!

I'm almost due for a re-read myself. I almost have to wonder now if books like this and TPP are designed to yield their treasures only when the reader is ready.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

I almost have to wonder now if books like this and TPP are designed to yield their treasures only when the reader is ready.

I ABSOLUTELY think this is the case. I swear when I re-read certain books I see things that were not there the first time!!! It's because we're such amazing creators, we put exactly what we need where we need it to be each time.

Senor Frog, I had an insight last night that might help you too as I think you & I have similar difficulties with trying to change the hologram when we feel like we're not "supposed" to be trying to change it.

I re-read Chapter 9 (I think the title is getting in the driver's seat). It is all about appreciation, and he gives a few small examples of how to deal with stuff you don't "like" in the hologram. You have to stop and APPRECIATE it...appreciate yourself for creating something so powerful and so very real that it convinced you that you were the complete opposite of what you actually are (limited as opposed to infinite). Appreciate whatever is in front of you, for being exactly where you needed it to be, for supporting you perfectly in playing the Human Game. Then appreciate the process of the creation, how you put so much power/energy into creating something that seems so real.

THEN you can go on and do the process if you like, but honestly just stopping and appreciating EVERYTHING that already is feels good to me. RS says this will lead to creating different things in the hologram, but honestly right now there is a freedom in just knowing that IT'S NOT REAL.

Hope that is somewhat coherent

[Wax Frog]

When I pulled up a quote from you for my reply, '501555' appeared after your handle!!!! Knowing next to nothing of vBulletin, I'm not sure what that number represents, but seeing it is just too rich given my run of fives lately!

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Hope that is somewhat coherent

Yes, you're plenty coherent! I confess that I have the tendency to gloss over any references to appreciation, because I have big "I hate my life" eggs to deal with.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

because I have big "I hate my life" eggs to deal with.

I DO TOO!!!! If I could change every single detail of the hologram this minute i WOULD! But this exercise really, really helped and has felt good. It helps you look past what you don't like right now and gives you a way to release what is there to make room for something else.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

I DO TOO!!!! If I could change every single detail of the hologram this minute i WOULD! But this exercise really, really helped and has felt good. It helps you look past what you don't like right now and gives you a way to release what is there to make room for something else.

I guess it's like that 'negative emotion' debate I got into awhile back; the 'stuff' within the life I've created isn't inherently bad, I've just been labeling it, associating it with stories I tell about myself.

[On A Lark]

Originally Posted by Wax Frog

I guess it's like that 'negative emotion' debate I got into awhile back; the 'stuff' within the life I've created isn't inherently bad, I've just been labeling it, associating it with stories I tell about myself.

And the more emotion you invest into labeling it, hating it, etc. is just more power that goes into feeding the illusion that it's REAL. NONE of it is real, you've made it all up, and when you really sit and think on that it kind of becomes hilarious! So thank yourself for creating all you did because it served you perfectly and now you can take your power back from it.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

when you really sit and think on that it kind of becomes hilarious!

I'm still chuckling about waking up in the wee hours, wondering in my partial confusion if it was 11:11, only to lean up to see my minute-fast clock read 5:56

[edith]

Originally Posted by On A Lark

Senor Frog

I liked that.

And this, too (nice and succinct!):

Originally Posted by On A Lark

And the more emotion you invest into labeling it, hating it, etc. is just more power that goes into feeding the illusion that it's REAL. NONE of it is real, you've made it all up, and when you really sit and think on that it kind of becomes hilarious! So thank yourself for creating all you did because it served you perfectly and now you can take your power back from it.