We need to be realistic about LoA and IM

[alexb5784]

I really want to see people living their dreams and have complete abundance throughout all areas of their lives, but I keep seeing the same statements pop up in these forums. And it's not anyone's fault that they were taught to think this way, because it's just the belief system of the majority of people in our societies.

But now that we're all dedicating ourselves to personal development, breaking away from mediocrity and starting to understand life, it's time to start questioning the validity of these common beliefs. And some people may think my posts are too long, but I know without a doubt that what I have to say is beneficial.

Here are some common statements I see people post:

If I could just find that one thing wrong with me and fix it, I will be ok.

All I have to do is watch The Secret, sit back, relax, make visualizations and then my dreams will manifest.

I can go from $0 to $1 Million just by thinking about the Law of Attraction and by reading lots of self-help books. I can get that million this year. The Secret says I can do it.

I can use the Law of Attraction to make a certain person to like me.

When the time is right, I'll start a business, go on a diet, etc...

I will be happy when...

It's not right to put ads on your blog and website when you talk about personal development. You will have a "more pure" site if everything is free.

I'm just trying to make ends meet and survive.

Unfortunately all of these limiting beliefs won't help, but hurt and keep us where we are today. Let's examine each belief:

If I could just find that one thing wrong with me and fix it, I will be ok.

There is never a one thing, but many reasons why we don't have what we want in life. Moreover, it's wrong to believe that there is something wrong with us and we need fixing. Where we are in life is exactly where we're supposed to be for that moment. There are lessons to learn, and if we can recognize it as an oppurtunity for growth, we will improve ourselves. No, a change from your current situation won't happen overnight, but it will happen progressively. And the key is to be in the present moment and accept the gifts and lessons we are learning now. The future and the past don't exist, only this moment. Setting goals for the future is great, but if you're not working on being successful right now, you're daydreaming. You should be honest about your current situation and then set a goal to improve it at this moment, like doing something small such as meditating for a few minutes. When your mind is clear and relaxed, you will be able to really focus on improving your life.

All I have to do is watch The Secret, sit back, relax, make visualizations and then my dreams will come true.

Steve recently interviewed James Ray and he talked about the "3 for 3" mentality. And I call it a mentality and not an idea, because believing and practicing "3 for 3" is a lifestyle. It's not something you do once and move on.
Read that article please.

I can go from $0 to $1 Million just by thinking about the Law of Attraction and by reading lots of self-help books. I can get that million this year. The Secret says I can do it.

First, you don't think about the Law of Attraction, you believe and live by it. It's like The Law of Gravity. You believe in gravity and you base your whole life around it. Second, becoming wealthy requires a significant mental shift. It can take years to make this shift, depending on where you are now. Years! It's impossible to earn a lot of money if you aren't confident about yourself and you currently have poor financial habits. The amount of money you have right now, is perfect for your current identity. But if you want to have more, you're going to have to change who you are. I'm not saying you have to become greedy, mean or be a spendthrift, but you're going to shift identities and let go of your old habits and the feelings you have about life. Steve has plenty articles about shifting your identity, read them. And once you are in the habit of shifting your identity from a less than position, to one of internal prosperity, only then can you begin to have more of what you want. If you want to become wealthy and successful, work on yourself first. Devote yourself to personal development, then when you read books like Think and Grow Rich, you'll be better able to fully comprehend the material. I'm not saying don't read these books now, but don't expect significant changes if you don't dedicate yourself to personal growth first.You can't stay the same and expect things to change.


I can use the Law of Attraction to make a certain person like me.

If you want to be with the person of your dreams, be the person of your dreams yourself. You can't attract your dream mate if your life is not the life you want to live. Would your dream person want to be with you, if you're not who you really want to be? I know some people are lonely and they want love now. But a relationship is not going to solve your problems. Your problems will only get solved, when you start to do something about them. If you're in a relationship now and you want it to get better, work on creating a better relationship with yourself. Then your partner will improve, or if they don't, then find someone else. The thing to remember is, maybe this person needs to be with someone else. Maybe you need to be with someone else. Don't act desperate and beg the universe for a relationship. And if you're single, maybe there are lessons for you to learn before you can be with another person. See being single as a good thing.

Now is not the right time to start a business...

We are only in the present moment, the past and future don't exist. I'm not saying quit your job, but you could start researching business ideas and reading books today. This way, you're creating the momentum needed to actually launch the business when you're organized and ready get clients. Start building momentum now by doing little things first. You'll feel better about yourself, because you're believing that it's all possible.

I will be happy when...

Again, we're only in the present moment. If you wait until you have more money, a mate, a new house, etc, you'll never be happy. Be happy and thankful for being where you are now. Like Michael Beckwith said, Nothing new can come into your life until you're thankful for what you have today. Steve has articles which fully explain how to properly express gratitude. Look for them and read them.

It's not right to put ads or sell stuff on your blog or website, when you talk about personal development. You will have a "more pure" site if everything is free.

When you believe this, you're misunderstanding the true relationship between people and money. Money is all about people exchanging value. You give me something I want or need and I will give you something I have, which is money. If you have a blog that is helping people, then ask for money if you want to make some, most people will be glad to give. If you don't need the money and don't care, then fine. But if you feel that asking for money is wrong because people will think your greedy or fake, then that's not good. Do you give money to your church? Of course you do, because you benefit from the message you recieve. You're thankful for it. And your money goes for the upkeep of the building, electricity, the religious staff's salary, etc. Do you feel that religious leaders don't deserve to get paid for their work? Of course not. There is no rule that you have to be a starving blogger to show you're "pure and whole". And there is no difference between an effective religious leader and someone who really inspires people to improve themselves through PD. Both individuals help people and should be rewarded. And if you don't ask for money from your blog, but you really want to, just do it! No one really cares anyway. The people who think you're greedy will leave regardless and your loyal readers will stay and give. They want to give to you

I'm just trying to make ends meet and survive.

With this belief system, you will keep just trying to make ends meet and will forever be in survival mode. And you will attract people into your life who are also trying to make ends meet and just survive. Begin to focus on having more than enough, by not wishing for it, but being honest about where you are today. Then work on replacing your limiting beliefs with empowering ones. Work on yourself first, then the abundance will arrive. Too many people want the money to just show up, but that's not going to happen. You have to change first, then you're financial position will change. You can't be at a different financial level, with the thoughts, habits and beliefs you have today. I really don't think you can be wealthy in all aspects of your life, if you don't dedicate yourself to personal growth first. I know some people don't want to here that, but it's the truth. Money is just a by product. It's unrealstic to expect a large sum of money to come to you, without you giving value. Sure you might get an inheritance or win the lottery, fine. But how often does that happen? Let's get real here. We need to stop expecting things different form our realities to just show up out of the thin air, all while we have the same belief system today.

Do you guys get what I'm saying here?

[Dani]

At first I thought this was going to be a negative post.

But quite the opposite. You covered most peoples misunderstandings with LOA almost perfectly.

Positive thinking and imagining what you want are NOT the only ingredient to LOA, but some people think it is.

If you remember the movie, the visualisation is clearly said to be only a tool, it is not The Secret. There is even the popup screen that says 'Powerful Tools - Visualisation'

You need to start thinking, feeling and acting like the life you want.

For the perfect partner you want, you need to start to think, act and live like their perfect partner if you want to attract them. You simply can't attract an athletic, good looking, positive thinking millionaire as a partner if you are an immobile slob who wines all day about how hard their life is, and how poor they are no matter how hard you visualise it. Because you are not in alignment with them.

[AndrewO]

Hmmm... while I do very mich believe in LOA and lendeavor to live it, I have to wonder how many people are attracted to the concept as a fad, rather than a way of life. American's are prone to herd mentality.. some thing "new," different; try it out for a while, and then move on when the results are disappointing.

Those who fully embrace LOA and practice it, will find it is no trend. Just wonder what will happen when the novelty of The Secret diminishes and Costco no longer sells the book.

LOA takes discipline, particularly at first. Many lack discipline and get discouraged when instant gratification does not occur.

[judge45]

Good post.

To change the outside, you have to change the inside NOW.

Not for a few minutes a day, not just for a week, but pemanently.

If your broke, you have to see and feel wealth constantly.

It's not attachment, it's present moment focus.

Many guru's suggest two daily sessions of mediatation, but I think that's not enough, especially if you're serious about change.

You have to live as if it's a done deal, without doubt.

If you want massive change you have to have massive focus.

Be grateful for what you have, but realise to experience change, you have to change.

I can see why people miss this, they think a book or a law will do all the work, but the knowledge doesn't do the work, you do.

Jeff

[Beautiful Future]

I think some people would understand the Law of Attraction more if they realised that it is at work in *everything*, not just in sorting the big stuff like wealth and possessions etc, but the more mundane things too.

I've been intent on switching to 'Stepford Wife' mode and getting down to some serious housework and domesticity around here for weeks now. If ever there was an intention that's not actually been backed up by action (or even belief!) it's that one

Nice post, alexb.

[Shaden]

Just like Science and Mathematics are tools and require significant input over a long space of time to find answers to questions (sometimes previously unanswerable ones), the LOA requires a significant amount of actual practical application by the users of it.

If the greatest scientists had sat back and made no effort for their greatest discoveries, the world we know today would not exist. Every application of life requires significant effort by the people who use it.

The LOA is not a panacea, moreso a useful tool to work with and alongside the universe (which functions in mysterious ways)

Good post, alex. Thank you for clearing up inherent confusion.

[bossb]

Originally Posted by Shaden

Just like Science and Mathematics are tools and require significant input over a long space of time to find answers to questions (sometimes previously unanswerable ones), the LOA requires a significant amount of actual practical application by the users of it.

If the greatest scientists had sat back and made no effort for their greatest discoveries, the world we know today would not exist. Every application of life requires significant effort by the people who use it.

The LOA is not a panacea, moreso a useful tool to work with and alongside the universe (which functions in mysterious ways)

Good post, alex. Thank you for clearing up inherent confusion.

fantastic reply shaden, exactly what I wanted to say. the biggest thing problem with LoA is that alot of people aren't going all the way.

visualizing and self affirming are readily done. but the action part of it seems to be a major roadblock.

[themaster]

Just going to make 3 points

1. Yes, right now I would call in somewhat form the Law of Attraction in fad phase.. it should also be noted that those that don't get the fad or give up.. may come back to it after time and have greater understanding of how it works

2. I have to technically call New Age thinking or at least Hicks-Abraham a religion by my definition because they actually describe life after death etc. (while sects of LOA teachings may not do this.. I'm kind of sticking with the core for the moment)

3. And according to your Realistic rules based on Hicks-Abraham teachings you are incorrect, things can snap in a moment according to the rules in as little as 30 days.. (I believe they mean even faster then that 2 minutes wouldn't be impossible) what may be more realistic is based on there rule set is that the BELIEFS don't match what people expect and that is the true hold up

However, I'm sure your rules or realistic side apply to base set of people including myself

[renie408]

I tend to agree with what you have written on all fronts.

But I would like to add that my new goal in life is to otherwise eschew reality at all costs. I have spent 43 years being 'realistic' and it really didn't get me much of anywhere.

[alexb5784]

Originally Posted by themaster

Just going to make 3 points

I have to technically call New Age thinking or at least Hicks-Abraham a religion by my definition because they actually describe life after death etc.

And according to your Realistic rules based on Hicks-Abraham teachings you are incorrect, things can snap in a moment according to the rules in as little as 30 days..

I would agree that some people take New Age beliefs a little too far, but there are also people who take Christianity too far. It's ok to believe in what you choose to, but you have to be intelligent about it. There has to be a balance and not a misunderstanding of your chosen philosophy that's so strong, you set yourself up for frustration or you put yourself into situations where you act erratic. For example, I heard a story about a woman who walked into a supermarket, picked out food and when she went to the cashier, instead of paying money, she yelled "Jesus will provide for me!". That's just crazy

Change in 30 days? It's possible, but you have to look at the amount of time you've been wanting to change. For example, if I were overweight and for two years I had wanted to be slim, it would be the emotional pain of being overweight for so long, that would push me to seriously start excercising within that 30 days. I believe we often think that change comes suddenly and sometimes it feel like it does. But then we have to look at how long we have desired this change. You will then realize that you've probably been desiring to change for years. The process of change is like compound interest. That desire just keeps building up and up to the point, where we just can't take the pain of not having what we want anymore. Then the rapid change comes because we've gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired. The pain pushes us to get moving towards what we want.

Originally Posted by renie408

I tend to agree with what you have written on all fronts.

But I would like to add that my new goal in life is to otherwise eschew reality at all costs. I have spent 43 years being 'realistic' and it really didn't get me much of anywhere.

What has happened is that, you have believed people who have limiting beliefs about their own lives. I overheard a conversation earlier this week between two young people and it went like this:

Person A: The job market is so bad. You can't get a job unless you know someone or have loads of experience. I've set out 30 resumes and only temp agencies are calling me back. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I guess I'm going to have to stay at my old job, until they lay me off or something. It's hard to find a job.

Person B: Yeah I agree. I finished school two years ago and I hate my admin assistant job. I really want to work in Finance, Real Estate, Property Management or in Marketing. I only make $45k, but I want $50k. I keep applying for jobs, but I can't find anything. The job market is bad in this town. I don't know what to do with my life either.

This is realistic thinking for the majority of people, isn't it? And these two people were only in their 20's! When I listened to them, I immediately knew they would never be happy until they started changing their thinking.

The problem with these statements, is that these two people aren't being specific about what type of job they want. They aren't even being specific about the type of life they want to have. Instead, they're just applying for any type of job to avoid doing what they really want to do. They DO know what they want, but are probably too afraid to go after their dreams. Maybe they think they will fail. Maybe they are afraid their parents will disapprove. But the main point is that they're avoiding going after what they really want and instead going after what they think they can have. Does this make sense? And this is the realistic thinking of most people in our society!

You should listen to people who are happy and living the life of their dreams. They will tell you that being realstic is about living a life where there are no limits. For me, being realstic is about being honest with myself, dedicating myself to self development, emliminating beliefs that hold me back or which hurt me. It means loving myself unconditionally. Being realistic means not expecting other people to meet my emotional needs. Being realistic is about expecting other people to treat me well and respect me, because I respect myself first. It means having a positive relationship with money, not one where I spend money to avoid dealing with painful situations or buying something because I'm depressed or angry. It means being healthy and exercising daily because I appreciate my body. Most importantly, being realsitic means allowing myself to do work which makes me feel good. Being realistic is about going after and recieving that which you feel you deserve to have in life. It's not about going after what you think you can have, but what you really want to have. I'm positive you have dreams you want to achieve, but someone who isn't successful in their own lives, told you that you can't do it. Right?

Do you see how I view being realistic versus popular thinking?