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10-23-2009, 10:09 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
 |  Help me with this...car crash
My son is 17. Yesterday 4 of his buddies were in a horrific car crash. They were all 16 years old. The driver was his team mate and he died. 1 kid is in one hospital and is critical, the 2 others in different hospitals in stable condition. Yesterday was a beautiful warm fall day and the kids got out early at 12:20 pm due to parent/teacher conferences. My son works at the local grocery store and he went to work. The other kids piled into CM's car and by 12:45 pm he was dead and the others on their way to hospital by heliocopter. We live in a small rural community of 3 small villages and 1 high school. Everyone is devistated including my son. The kids get these fancy fast cars and drive too fast and now everyone is mourning. This was close. How do you deal with it? I feel so bad for the parents (the one who died was an only child), because I know my son could have been in that car. I know the kids were reckless and driving too fast...I am positive that my son probably does they same... I just have an empty sick feeling inside.... How does this kind of incident have to do with IM? Perhaps I am looking for some words of wisdom to make sense of this awful thing... |
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10-23-2009, 10:23 AM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Slovenia, south central Europe
Posts: 830
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10-23-2009, 10:42 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,072
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it is a bit difficult to takl about death and IM,if you are just a beginner... for me it gets easier,because i have the belief that death dont really exist...only the bodies sucumbe when the soul choosed to leave this level and go to another. cause of my belief in reincarnation,i know that each one of us chose the way and time to "die",and no one can really do nothing about it,it was our own choice. you can choose to explain to your son that each one of us had decided a time limit to be here in this reincarnation,and so his friend decided it was time to leave.and that now he is really on a higher place,his Spirit is way much better there,and in peace. but only you know what you feel. "death" is not the bad thing that usually people think about....it is the most libearting experience we can have really |
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10-23-2009, 10:58 AM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Nong Seng
Posts: 3,975
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There is not one simple answer why things like this happen - the value is what you (and others) can learn from this. It is like a loud wake up call. Now you are awake, what will you do? | |
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10-23-2009, 11:22 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
| Thank you... you can choose to explain to your son that each one of us had decided a time limit to be here in this reincarnation,and so his friend decided it was time to leave.and that now he is really on a higher place,his Spirit is way much better there,and in peace. This resonates with me. I will be talking to him all day... Thank you |
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10-23-2009, 07:35 PM
| #7 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,394
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There was no "this was close" for your son. You weren't lucky, he wasn't lucky. He creates his reality. Period. His choice was to go to work and not be part of that car ride. And I'm not saying any of this is conscious on his part. Your son could never have been in that car. (Because that's not what happened... why go any further with worry?) You deal with it with what comes up in the moment. You're going to be afraid, angry, sad, sick... just feel (fully) what comes up inside you. Don't let your mind go into the question "why?" There is no answer to that. Quote:
I don't know if there is a solution. You need to teach the overview though some activity in his life. For me, mountaineering comes to mind. When I first started mountaineering I went with people who knew what they were doing. As I hiked blindly along the snow field, the experienced ones were noting surface features and turning around to see what the return trip would look like. They knew that our prints might be gone the next day, or we might have to hike out in the dark or in whiteout conditions. They avoided routes that could avalanche on us and were always watching the weather. As a new person in the sport, I had no awareness for these conditions, I was unconscious to the overview necessary for safe mountaineering. We had to have patience with the mountain and be ok with having to turn back and not reach our summit. With these guys I learned it was about having the experience of climbing, not throwing caution to the wind and bagging the peak. If you die, you don't get to climb anymore, and no one wants that. I have a lot of respect for my mortal being and I care for it best I can. The experiences of my life have taught me to seek the overview for most activities that I do. How do we give this to young people? Do we make rock climbing, scuba diving, firefighting, mountaineering, or anything else that needs a lot of technical precision for safety a requirement before they can drive? | ||
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10-24-2009, 09:05 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: I'm a traveler everywhere and nowhere.. currently in Denver.. where else?
Posts: 3,618
| Quote:
What's there to deal with? I mean this implies that something bad happened? Did it? Not from my perspective... but from a common world perspective "it did" To understand that you create your own reality is to understand you create your reality.. it's not a joke.. and it's not a coincidence your SON survived either.. I'm pretty sure he died in other reality's.. lucky for you, you've chosen this one to be with him some more and learn.. If you could understand the idea that death is a choice, just as a accident is a choice (in that context there not accidents there just created incidents or creations  )This is what I would do if I were you.. I would start finding ways to feel neutral or appreciative about the situation.. Neutral - Maybe things do happen for a reason - Maybe I could loosen up on this, let go.. just be in alignment with ideas that feel good Positive - You and your son are going to get some nice sit down time at the hospital (maybe you don't get face to face much) - If you can be a better father/brother by helping your son not feel.. feelings of Guilt (negative) remorse etc. you'll be doing him and yourself a huge favor  I wish you well And here's some love for you  In addition this is not a time to feel remorseful likes society tells you too! this is a time to celebrate!!! Your son is a alive!! If you've been holding back on how you feel or who you are.. maybe it's time to let go of that and be yourself.. Last edited by themaster; 10-24-2009 at 09:09 PM. | |
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