so I manifested and now... scared ..

[bananya]

Hey, I'll try to make it not so long as I really want you to read this and share some thoughts, I'm confused...

So couple months ago when I was really frustrated with my life, I decided - ok, i'll try it and made a list of 3 wishes - 1 small, 1 medium and 1 big (as many LOA followers suggest), that's what it was:

1. Starbucks coffee. hehe, well I live in Siberia and you don't find it here, and I LOVE this coffee and Starbucks doesn't ship overseas.. but 2 times my 2 different friends from US sent me this coffee (I mentioned it once on my wall on facebook that I wish I could have some Starbucks and here it was), next time my mom went to Moscow and frought me 2 packs from there, then my friend from Germany brought me one (well this time I did ask her directly for it)..then I was just getting used to some other coffee but kept dreaming about Starbucks and what do u think? My friend who lives in China sends me a pack of it!!! that's amazing!

2. Internship in Europe. well, I was really stressed at my current situation in life that time (with job and personal life and just being bored in general) that all I really wanted was to leave and change the surrounding and have the opportunity to travel, I've done internship abroad before and know how great it is, so I was desperately looking for one again. There was one in Finland that was not perfect, but close to what I wanted and I like the country, so I was 1 out of 4 potential candidates and I remember desperately wanting it (have to admit, mostly wanted it just to be able to leave soon, there were other better internships, but I never was chosen)..and I didnt get it, they chose another person, so I sighed and kept looking.. Then one day I accidentally meet an old friend and he tells me about a job here in my city (to clarify - I hated my current job at that time, but was staying there to at least have a job).. and I sent a resume just for fun maybe and got accepted (this job is what I want for my career and it pays well), but I still knew that I want to live abroad and even if I'm happier with the job now, all other sides of my life are the same and I'm still not happy.. but guess what? 3 days ago I got an e-mail from Finland telling me that the other girl got sick and they want me to come to Finland... baaahhh... I now have mixed feelings: 1. sooo excited seeing how LOA works and 2. Is this really what I need? the internship is for a short period (while I wanted longer) and I'm still not 100% sure if I'll like the job... and why did this happen this way? I met my old friend occasionally (haven't talked to him for like 2 years) and this girl who gets sick... I'm now scared to make the decision about the internship coz I'll have to give up a good job, what if it's better to stay and keep looking for another longer term internship? ... what if this happened just to teach me to make logical choices?..

My mind says it's probably not very logical to give up good perspective job for 3-4 months intership that might not bring much but regrets..

My heart says - go for it, because you are adventurous, you want to be abroad, you'll meet new people and get to travel and won't feel stuck like now...

ohh man...

Today I read Steve's new blog about Cubicle - looks like my situation but why are we sso scared to follow the heart path? How do we know if particular opportunities that pop up on ur way will really lead us to where we really want to be or is it better to wait for some other opportunities?

I'm confused, my brain even hurts... have to decide by Monday, please help..

oh and 3rd thing on my list was - meeting the man of my dreams who will become my future husband, no doubts it'll happen, I just want to know FOR SURE it's him when he appears

[marinik]

My heart says - go for it, because you are adventurous, you want to be abroad, you'll meet new people and get to travel and won't feel stuck like now...

You will regret all your life not following your heart and not having courage. If this internship is not what you wan,t look for something better but never settle for the second prize! Never!

[bananya]

Originally Posted by marinik

If this internship is not what you wan,t look for something better

Thanks, yes I know so too! What I'm afaraid of is that If I stay and wait, another "better" internship might never come, while if I follow my intuition now and go, I might fail..

[themaster]

Originally Posted by bananya

Thanks, yes I know so too! What I'm afaraid of is that If I stay and wait, another "better" internship might never come, while if I follow my intuition now and go, I might fail..

This is where you doubt the universe and it's manifesting ability.. let me give this to you in one clear statement

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

There is nothing you can't accomplish, there is nothing you can't build, you want 14 internships and 4 man of your dreams.. "coming right up" says the waitress.. choose the path now that gives you the best feelings.. follow your excitement always and it will lead you to more excitement

And if both paths feel the same.. then choose either...

[marinik]

Originally Posted by bananya

I might fail..

Yes and so? You get all the lessons you need out of it and go on, try again! I once read in a smart book about life coaching that life gives us information and messages, if we don't hear them they become lessons, if we don't learn the lessons we get problems, if we don't solve the problems we get crisis and if we don't deal with them we have chaos in our lives. So listen to the message, learn the lessons just don't get to the problems to often!!! And you will be fine! Just don't create the crisis and chaos by not listening! Go and grab each and every the day! Just don't be afraid.