How to stop automatically visualising negative scenarios?

[NicB]

Howdy,

It occured to me recently that i might be putting too much creative energy into imagining bad scenarios.

For my case, in particular i mean socially. I subconsciously or automatically sometimes visualise a bad consequence that could happen.

It seems like sometimes, lately, when i'm in conversation with a person or more than 1 person, there's a part of my focus that's not fully focused on the conversation. Sometimes, without realising it (most of the time), part of me is away imagining the negative social consequence to my particular action or words.

I'm usually very perceptive and imaginative, and socially i'm usually good. But recently i've noticed myself tapping into negative energy a bit too much.

For example, say i'm talking to someone and then i say something to which they don't reply. I will automatically wonder why and then imagine the consequences of the negative that can be seen in what i said. Then, when the person i'm talking to makes a comment (either relevant or non-relevant), i wont have anything to say! this is because i'm too busy placing my focus unnecessarily on "the bad side" of happened or is happening or will happen. When in reality, there may or may not even be a bad consequence.

I suppose maybe i'm a bit insecure? I don't really identify myself with being insecure, but i suppose there might be some sort of social fear(s) lurking in my subconscious?
Or maybe too conscious/aware of myself?

So my question is, how does one place their focus in more positive areas?
It seems like, because it happens "in the moment", that i can't really help it. I can't always be consciously choosing to not focus on things.
So how should i overcome this?

[JSB]

I've noticed something similar, but it happens when I focus on IM.

When I relax and focus on an intention, my mind starts automatically running vivid, detailed imaginary scenarios of all sorts of negative events and outcomes -- the opposite of what I'm trying to do!

WTF?

[Angela]

Habitual negative thought patterns are running you. (Well, duh, Angela!)

How to disconnect their power over you? Shine the light of day on them -- boldly examine those patterns, see them and where they came from, and ask yourself what they provide for you and what they cost you and others. Just shining light on them helps lift their power -- like turning on the light in your bedroom and seeing that the monster in the chair is only your clothes from last night, carelessly tossed.

What, precisely, is the pattern? Start paying attention to the language or images that habitually spring to mind, and notice how they repeat. I think you'll notice that there's a theme, if you look.

[Ace22]

I had a day job that demanded that I look for possible problems in the procedure. It was my responsibility to anticipate the unexpected.

This can become a character trait that can cross over into your personal life where you start to see everything analytically. (and I'm by far not an analytical personality. I'm pretty much an expressive)

But I've had to make a conscious effort to stop thinking 2 steps ahead of every process and just live life more as a "defensive" driver. And say, "if this happens I need to be ready"

But there's an old saying that I've learned to be true. "People that have something to fall back on have a greater tendancy to fall back"

This is why people in crappy day jobs rarely meet their goals, dreams and potential. They sacrifice their freedom for security. Ben Franklin said: "People who sacrifice their freedom for security deserve neither".

It takes effort; but instead of thinking what could go wrong, try imaging what could go "excellent" See that ball going into the corner pocket. (Not the scratch)

[themaster]

I would probably if in your shoes.. recognize what I'm doing in the moment.. say either this doesn't serve me.. or "how does this serve me?"

And ask for imaginations that are more positive..

Your imaginations.. seem to stem from the idea that there is a right thing to say.. that you need to be on guard in your conversation.. for that comeback, that quip etc.

I would simply state you "do not" need to be on guard..

While it's a radical idea My teacher says that we are going to in a sense de-evolve the idea is that.. we EGO too much of everything.. the EGO is a crux planner, it plans for nuclear war , it plans for what to pick up on the way home, it plans for proper can order in the cupboard..

My teacher states that as we become more our true selves we will give up the EGO planning.. know that it is not our job to THINK (it isn't) though we certainly think it is , and live in the moment requesting information etc. what we need in the moment in the moment.. this is how the animals live..

My teacher says it this way.. a cat doesn't plan things.. in the moment it decides to run up a tree, trot through a field, jump onto a fence.. it doesn't need to connect slot a, to insert hole c, to make field jump d (in essence I've just given you a description of a child's day too.. do we think 5-8 year olds wake up and realize I need to drive to the store, so I can get pet food, so I can open the pantry?)

It is a different style of thinking and being I'm talking about.. here are some abraham intentions if I remember them right, they may help

- Reach for the best feeling thought
- Take the path of least resistance
(yes I have memorized these )

[JSB]

Originally Posted by Angela

Habitual negative thought patterns are running you. (Well, duh, Angela!)

How to disconnect their power over you? Shine the light of day on them -- boldly examine those patterns, see them and where they came from, and ask yourself what they provide for you and what they cost you and others. Just shining light on them helps lift their power -- like turning on the light in your bedroom and seeing that the monster in the chair is only your clothes from last night, carelessly tossed.

What, precisely, is the pattern? Start paying attention to the language or images that habitually spring to mind, and notice how they repeat. I think you'll notice that there's a theme, if you look.

Interesting. I recognize the pattern, meaning it's familiar to me, but I can't say I understand it or where it comes from. It seems as old as my bones and real deep, somewhere near my core.

NicB: This is related to your original post, but I'm not responding directly to your issue here, so if you feel like I'm going too far off topic (read: "writing too much about myself") please do tell me.

[rei]

Originally Posted by themaster

My teacher states that as we become more our true selves we will give up the EGO planning.. know that it is not our job to THINK (it isn't) though we certainly think it is , and live in the moment requesting information etc. what we need in the moment in the moment.. this is how the animals live..

thanks for this, themaster. i used to be a hardcore list maker, made many elaborate plans... now not so much. very go with the flow. sometimes i think i'm slacking off, then i come across something like this and it reminds me that i have a different relationship with my higher self (which usually has a broader influence than my ego)... this affects the forward thinking a lot. sadly, i currently live in a culture that exalts productivity and planning. ah well... living in the moment feels better.

NicB, i would suggest training yourself to focus on the present moment. a quick and easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing. breathing happens in the Now. i've worked with sexual abuse survivors - who wanted very much to leave the here-and-now - and they found focusing on the breath to be very healing... brought them to tears bc their inner selves were so grateful for the present-moment focus after all those attempts to escape it. so NicB, focusing on your breath will automatically create a sense of presence. it will concentrate your mental and emotional energies in the Now... as you practice this focus, you will develop the ability to sense when you are stepping out of the Now, and you will start to notice how that feels. you can apply this to social interactions.

however, i offer that idea, but i do think at some point you might need to explore the source of this insecurity. recognize it, feel it fully so you can let it go. the focus on breathing will address the issue you asked about, but that doesn't mean i think it's wise to ignore those experiences... there is a message for you there. and until you listen to the message it will keep creeping in. well, maybe, maybe not. just speaking from experience.

another thing you can do is develop your active listening skills. focus on the person talking instead of yourself. give the person your undivided attention, and you will not have enough energy left over for uncomfortable self-consciousness.

[NicB]

Thanks for the replies guys. I've documented them mentally.

It's funny. When i read the replies, it's like the ideas that are suggested, were already in my knowledge deep down in my sub conscious, but i just needed help fishing them out. So thanks!

I think what i've got to do is find the root of the problem somehow.
What is it that's affecting my behavior? What's causing it?
Once i know that i can start working on it.
I think i'm close to discovering the full picture. But not 100% sure yet, but will pay attention for clues.

@JSB, that's fine. It's a public discussion.
@rei, i will try the breathing thing. By nature i'm a soft breather, i think changing my breathing habits could help.

[Brown Eyed Mystic]

It occured to me recently that i might be putting too much creative energy into imagining bad scenarios.

It is said that 1 negative thought has negligible power as compared to 1 positive thought. So, if you have many negative ones, they equal to 1 in positive. Perhaps (have observed that), that is why the negative outcomes don't really manifest? Could be, yup.

[NicB]

Your imaginations.. seem to stem from the idea that there is a right thing to say.. that you need to be on guard in your conversation.. for that comeback, that quip etc.

I would simply state you "do not" need to be on guard..

I think also this is worth me absorbing.

I think that could well be right, that i subconsciously feel like i should be on guard and always want to say the right things.
I'd say this gets the better of me.

Any words of advice?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by NicB

Any words of advice?

In being true to who you are.. you do not have to justify who you are.. if you're walking down the street or go into work that day.. and someone says "man you look tired" or "man you woke up the wrong side of the bed this morning" or "man you just suck"

The idea is to ignore them.. the idea is to not play into games where you have to be someone other than yourself.. the idea clearly stated is "to not care what other people think"

Alright let me re-read your statement.. and re-translate my advice..

Originally Posted by NicB

For example, say i'm talking to someone and then i say something to which they don't reply. I will automatically wonder why and then imagine the consequences of the negative that can be seen in what i said. Then, when the person i'm talking to makes a comment (either relevant or non-relevant), i wont have anything to say! this is because i'm too busy placing my focus unnecessarily on "the bad side" of happened or is happening or will happen. When in reality, there may or may not even be a bad consequence.

Well, this is all ego.. you see you activate the ego because you are insecure about who you are.. your busy planning and positioning to not get a negative reply or to not have conflicts..

There is a lot of ways to give you advice about this.. so let's try multiple approach's
1. My teacher would say whenever you go negative.. "own it" what does that mean? It means thank the negative energy for telling you.. you have a problem.. and then figure out what the belief or definition is and why it actives your Emotional Guidance System as negative energy.. you see all energy is positive.. it just runs through your belief/definitions and you get negative as meaning you have a problem not in alignment with your truth (long and complicated I know)
2. Here's a different approach.. shutdown your analyzer/ego instead move yourself into a observer approach.. life is a game.. and you don't have to react to anything.. I always say this.. you can't have a argument if only 1 person argues.. the idea being.. if you're sitting there and someone's yelling something at you.. why didn't you watch where you're going? you can't have a argument if you just observe and ignore.. So when you're in the office/wherever and someone comes up and says.. "so and so" just don't respond.. don't even process the information into your systems.. observe neutrally and take the information neutrally..

I have been working with a new method called "the rose".. maybe you could try using that too.. I will point you to the method if you wish.. (the rose is more than just interacting with people.. as a interface I think it can be used for everything .. but I'm newbie.. so don't quote me )

[Ufaq]

there is a saying " it is as easy to imagine oneself successful as it is to imagine faliure "
Only those things will manifest, whom i'll give my attention or observation to
When i won't give my attention and observation to those wild negative scenes, they can give me no trouble
"Outside things have no power except the power which you give them"

REMEMBER " its not about controling thoughts, its about guiding thoughts "

you should guide your thoughts rather than control them

Dr Joseph Murphy says " use imagination, not will power "
there is no opponent, there is no opposition , you are free
i'll say this again " infer no opponent, use imagination not will power "
imagine the end and the freedom state

Intellect won't get you there where you want to be,
You will find your intellect trying to get in the way, but persist in
maintaining a simple, childlike, miracle-making faith. Picture yourself
without the ailment or problem. Imagine the emotional accompaniment of
the freedom state you crave. Cut out all red tape from the process. The
simple way is the best.


Hope i answered to my best ....

[NicB]

Hey guys, thanks for the replies. Definitely had a good look at them.

Well, this is all ego.. you see you activate the ego because you are insecure about who you are.. your busy planning and positioning to not get a negative reply or to not have conflicts..

I agree it is this... but i believe to a lesser extent than you perceive. i think it is in combination with another factor: Feeling liked.
Basically i too easily perceive myself how others perceive me. And i hate the feeling of being disliked. Therefore caring about what others think about me is magnified.

I think this gets in the way of my basic socializing a bit (not with people i'm close to... but with people who dont feel warm to me).

When i feel like someone has a poor perception of me (whether they do or dont), i kind of struggle to talk to them openly and comfortably.

This leads me to believe that perhaps another problem for me to look at is that i think i tend to subconsciously want approval from my peers, but because of my beliefs and lack respect for other people who i notice do it, i dont actively/openly seek it out. Because i believe that a person shouldn't seek approval (even though i hadnt recognized this trait in myself). So now it's become sorta repressed.
This could mean that this deep-down need for approval and permission has been so unacknowledged by myself that it's coming to the surface with this issue, so that it can have light shed on it.
Possibly.

Do you think this ties in? Any more words of advice of how i can tackle this? You've been a great help so far.

[themaster]

Well, there is something so simple but so true that some people just don't get it.. but that is the idea "to not care what people think.."

It is the idea to understand that self love is the most important thing to give to yourself and from this self love.. you don't need to get acceptance from other people and when they don't accept you.. you don't care, you don't let it take your vibration down.. you're in your space and they can't get too you..

Hmm.. simple ideas on this..

This is one of my teachers phrases
"Circumstances don't matter, only state of being matters" this could help..

What if I told you NicB that I know you're a great person

What if I told you.. I think you can do anything

What if I told you.. that you don't need to hear these things from me or listen to what I say.. you just need to know it

(a attempt at a positive reinforcement approach )

Nic the world is your oyster.. it's not my oyster.. it's your oyster.. k? Everything you see in your reality was created for you.. it was also created for me cause I'm writing this from my perspective but it was also created for you..

When we activate things in our vibration.. we say we want a pizza or money or whatever.. and we see that pizza, hear that song on the radio etc. that is made for us.. believe me when I tell you.. you've had a effect on everything around you.. whole movies have been made for you with themes you resonate with.. so where was I going with this positive message?? I got lost again

Nic one thing you can seriously do is stop "ego'ing" this out.. I like my "ego" and as you can see I have a advanced one in spiritual information but just cause I have all that "ego" doesn't mean I always actualize the information.. and so the idea is you don't have to think your way out of this.. if you can just trust in yourself and your own power.. you are the one who has to cast off these limiting beliefs and re-enforced definitions but you can do it and it can be as simple as "snapping your fingers".

The common way for healing and for stepping up is.. for you to get out of your own way!

If you need stronger methods I'm not sure I can help you after all there's only so much "ego" sleuthing I can do.. I would suggest studying any of my main teachers or finding one that you resonate with.. my teachers are "abraham" "bashar" and in a way "Jim Self". Jim Self's particular "quickfix" may be able to allow you to bypass having to work anything out.. but I don't want to make false promises (as the contents on some box's say.. your results may vary )

[rei]

themaster, that was very inspiring... and wasn't even meant to be for my reality!

[NicB]

Indeed very inspiring, themaster. Thanks for taking the time to help get me going in the right direction!
This whole thread has been a good guide for me so far. I will probably document it when all is said and done.

I was having a think about this yesterday at work (factory labour - the perfect time to be bored enough to just sit and reflect on life. hehe). I had some pretty enlightening thoughts about it. I've got to change this mental habit of mine. I've just got to stop subconsciously seeking approval. I understand intellectually that i shouldn't seek approval. But it just sorta happens anyway and i don't realise.
What's the opposite action of 'seeking approval'?
Cos that's what i'll do.

Everything you see in your reality was created for you..

When we activate things in our vibration.. we say we want a pizza or money or whatever.. and we see that pizza, hear that song on the radio etc. that is made for us.. believe me when I tell you.. you've had a effect on everything around you.. whole movies have been made for you with themes you resonate with..

Hmm, i don't think i really understand this concept. It doesn't really "add up" in my head. How can everything be created for just me? Could you elaborate on this concept? (Or direct me to a link where i can learn?)

[SuperNova]

Hi NicB,

Your habitual thinking is just actualised neuro networks in your brain. You observe something in your environment, and your brain sends off a series of synapses in an established pattern. Like a finely grooved road in your head.

All you have to do is create a new neuro pathway with a more positive and constructive response to the stimulus. And then you need to use that pathway often enough that IT becomes your automatic response, and the old pathway becomes redundant.

Ever heard of NLP? The techniques are incredibly effective at helping you to change your habits/behaviours/conditioning/programming at a deep subconscious level.

Not much point spending alot of time on positive self-talk. Your conscious mind only makes up 5% of your thinking processes and you can only convince yourself at that level for a limited period time. If you want to make permanent changes, you need to tap into the 95% subconscious part of your mind.

If you're interested in knowing how to create such a new pathway, lemme know and I'll spend some more time on the reply.

Shannon :-)

[rei]

NicB, i think the opposite of "seeking approval" is "thinking, saying, and doing what i want no matter what others may think" or simply "not caring what other people think." you might get a lot out of NLP too - i haven't used it before but i know a little about it and it could help.

[themaster]

What's the opposite action of 'seeking approval'?

Just what rei said.. but I'll say it again.. the opposite of 'seeking approval' is to approve of one's self, to validate one's self, to realize that others approval is not important..

Originally Posted by NicB

I've got to change this mental habit of mine. I've just got to stop subconsciously seeking approval. I understand intellectually that i shouldn't seek approval. But it just sorta happens anyway and i don't realise.

Spend some time on some self love.. spend a hour, a day, a year being yourself without others.. spend some time doing what you love alone (unless you insist it has to be with others)

Anything running in the subconscious is something you allowed to be put there.. so take control of your reality/life and change it.. not by manipulating the mind with more programming but by saying.. "that is not me" "this is me"

Imagine that you walk into the office happy in being you and around you.. you see others going about their games of judgment and lack but you see yourself not getting involved you solidly love yourself, you solidly feel compassion for those around you stuck in uncomfortable feelings but when they come to you and say "jack who's side are you on?" "does that dress make Leigh look fat?" "man I can't believe that president he's ruining everything" instead of answering you.. say "I don't want to be involved" "that's none of my business" "I'm happy being me.. thank you very much!"

Hmm, i don't think i really understand this concept. It doesn't really "add up" in my head. How can everything be created for just me?

Well, okay I told you the truth and I didn't.. understand first the 2nd law of all realities.

2. The 1 are all, and the all are 1.

So we are all the same being and in this game we are interacting with each other.. so in that extent the statement is true But looking at it a different way as in.. I couldn't have thought of toast or jam or "single side roofing w/ double frame joints" (again technically you did.. but for this conversation yes.. you are interacting with other version of YOU from different perspectives) (I would for the record never suggest the idea that everyone else is some kind of lie or fake )

So if you take this idea + another idea from my teacher.. that there are billions of realities.. not just 1 reality.. but billions to the Nth power.. then you understand that you are in your own reality and you should do what's best for you in any moment.. cause it's your reality

My teacher was at one of his conferences and he was asked "Bashar I understand there are multiple realities?"
Bashar: Yes
Q: Is there a reality right now where there is a fork stuck inside your head?
B: Yes and in that reality matter is transmutable

So I ain't saying the concept above isn't mind blowing.. I have a hard time with it too but the idea is as I understand it every single version of earth exists right now.. from nuclear war earth to utopia earth etc. and we choose our earths by our vibration in every second.. that's my understanding.. I didn't say it wasn't a wallop

Could you elaborate on this concept? (Or direct me to a link where i can learn?)

I don't have any great links to offer you.. these are just some of the teachings I have picked up from mainly listening to my teachers audio recordings

There is a link out there for simulated reality (google that) and you'll find the wiki that talks about how scientists think it's possible to build a computer in the future that will allow us to simulate realities and individual indenties?

Actually I lied I just remembered I saved a great recording of bashar on multiple realities only yesterday or the day before..

YouTube - Bashar - Infinite Number of Parallel Earths to Choose From

[Flaming pie]

I read a chapter of ''The Secrets'' every morning or before I go to bed

[yoopersmith]

Originally Posted by NicB

Howdy,

It occured to me recently that i might be putting too much creative energy into imagining bad scenarios.

For my case, in particular i mean socially. I subconsciously or automatically sometimes visualise a bad consequence that could happen.

It seems like sometimes, lately, when i'm in conversation with a person or more than 1 person, there's a part of my focus that's not fully focused on the conversation. Sometimes, without realising it (most of the time), part of me is away imagining the negative social consequence to my particular action or words.

I'm usually very perceptive and imaginative, and socially i'm usually good. But recently i've noticed myself tapping into negative energy a bit too much.

For example, say i'm talking to someone and then i say something to which they don't reply. I will automatically wonder why and then imagine the consequences of the negative that can be seen in what i said. Then, when the person i'm talking to makes a comment (either relevant or non-relevant), i wont have anything to say! this is because i'm too busy placing my focus unnecessarily on "the bad side" of happened or is happening or will happen. When in reality, there may or may not even be a bad consequence.

I suppose maybe i'm a bit insecure? I don't really identify myself with being insecure, but i suppose there might be some sort of social fear(s) lurking in my subconscious?
Or maybe too conscious/aware of myself?

So my question is, how does one place their focus in more positive areas?
It seems like, because it happens "in the moment", that i can't really help it. I can't always be consciously choosing to not focus on things.
So how should i overcome this?

These ideas are from Eckhart Tolle's the "Power of Now" and "A New Earth" and Maybe a little bit of "A Course in Miracles".

The first idea is that your identity might be something other than what you think it is.

Try to identify your "true" self as the "observer" or listener of your thoughts and other people that you interact with.

Do you best to listen first...without thinking...but really listening to the thougths in your head (when you are alone) or the other person. This takes practice and mindful mediation helps.

The first goal is to observe your thougths and accept them for popping into your head...then evalutate whether or not this is something that is going to be helpful to the moment...if it's "negative" wish it well and wait for a new thought.

With other people, I just assume that everyone is just saying one of two things to me:

1) I love you dude uncondtionally

2) I need your help

#2 could be some really nasty stuff...which you can gently forgive...because it bascially a reflection of what you are projecting into your world being reflected back at you.

With practice, you can learn to listen to others to truly want to understand their point of view...so you can learn....and possibly help them understand your point of view...instead of not listening, but thinking of the next clever thing to say

This is a short answer...so check out my webpage in my sig, if you are interested in more ideas like this.

[NicB]

It's really good to see the level of intent towards helping a fellow human. Good on ya guys, and thanks!

@SuperNova: Nope, never heard of NLP? It definitely does sound interesting though. Something i've been thinking about past few days is hypnotherapy (i actually want to use it for helping my subconscious visualize hair regrowth, but it would probably come in handy for heaps of other stuff too i imagine). Is it similiar to that?
I'd definitely be interested in hearing your elaboration, if you've got the time.

@themaster: Thanks again. I'll have another look at your reply tomorrow (peeps are jamming in the lounge at the moment, can't hear myself think hehe). Looks very interesting.

@yoopersmith: That's a pretty interesting synchronicity. Those books you mentioned are 2 books that were introduced into my reality only this week. A friend saw one my blog ( if anyone's curious: Piece Of Paradigm ) and said he started getting into the same stuff i'm interested in recently, and recommended 'a new earth'... and somebody else the next day recommended me the books too.
I'd say theyre both something i should read then!
That's an interesting notion.
'The first idea is that your identity might be something other than what you think it is.'
That's an interesting notion. Hmm, i'll have a think about that. Maybe it is.
I wonder if i view myself more optimistically or pessimistically than i actually am?

Cheers again guys.
I'll come back to this tomorrow, when i can put more thought into it.